How Catholics (Should) Date

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  • čas přidán 13. 05. 2019
  • Jackie has some straightforward advice about dating that will eliminate the ambiguity often involved, while hopefully leading to more vocations and a healthier dating culture:
    1. If you’re not ready to get married, there’s no point in dating.
    2. Guys, ask the girl, “Can I take you out on a date?” Girls, if he doesn’t ask, you ask. Whoever asks should pay.
    3. A first date shouldn’t be longer than ninety minutes, and shouldn’t cost more than ten dollars. You’re just getting to know each other.
    4. After three dates, you should know if the relationship is going anywhere. Either end it or extend it. Don’t be shy. Life is short.
    Check out The Dating Project at: ascensionpress.com/products/the-dating-project-starter-pack
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Komentáře • 804

  • @danielh2515
    @danielh2515 Před 5 lety +1547

    Hey you, yes you reading the comments, God bless you and your family. Have a good day my friends.

    • @battleship6177
      @battleship6177 Před 5 lety +8

      You too

    • @grissarceo
      @grissarceo Před 5 lety +6

      Daniel Harper God bless you and have a nice day

    • @amokay746
      @amokay746 Před 5 lety +4

      Aww Thankd Daniel. GOD Bless You.

    • @patd3626
      @patd3626 Před 5 lety +5

      Thx man God bless

    • @imtom3721
      @imtom3721 Před 5 lety +3

      Thank you brother! You too! God bless!!

  • @Fireflycolor1
    @Fireflycolor1 Před 5 lety +1056

    When I was 13 years old I decided not to date until marriage was a true posibility. My friends though (and still think in these way) that I was crazy, that I was going to miss things like "tennage dating", "the kiss at prom" etc.
    I'm 23, still don't have a boyfriend, or a kiss, or a date but I don't have regreats. If my vocation is marriage it will hapend (I mean, i don't spend my days hiding from men) life is not a race, and in the end God knows best!
    Bless you all!
    (Sorry if i said something weird, english is my second languaje 😘)

    • @lawrencekeenan9234
      @lawrencekeenan9234 Před 5 lety +80

      Thanks for posting, it’s great to see that there are girls like you out there. If gives guys like us hope 🙏🏻

    • @burningroses2399
      @burningroses2399 Před 5 lety +29

      Your writing is good, and I agree hun. God bless you.

    • @ambockzendine7216
      @ambockzendine7216 Před 5 lety +11

      Exactly my condition

    • @Eserr7856
      @Eserr7856 Před 5 lety +18

      Thanks for sharing. When you meet the right man, he’ll be blessed to have you! God bless!

    • @nabukeeragerminah3695
      @nabukeeragerminah3695 Před 5 lety +9

      Fireflycolor1 finally I meet someone with the same values ☺️

  • @petershea6666
    @petershea6666 Před 5 lety +448

    My friend spent months working up the courage to ask a girl out, and she said yes. They went out and had a lovely time, and he was so relieved because everything was working out. Then, the next time they talked, she let him know that she had *never* had any interest in him. She had just said yes because she felt obligated. He was CRUSHED. It was so, so, SO much worse than if she had just been upfront and said no to the date in the first place.
    Speaking as a guy: PLEASE DO NOT SAY YES IF YOU HAVE NO INTEREST IN A RELATIONSHIP.

    • @stopcasteevilanjanienanlal8693
      @stopcasteevilanjanienanlal8693 Před 5 lety +15

      Yes you cannot be hurtin ppl. Its really hard for them

    • @chinh817
      @chinh817 Před 4 lety +31

      The girl may not be attractive to him, but it may also be that he needs to learn to have an intimate relationship with God. If he doesn't have that all rejections are devastating. If he does then he should be happy that God answered his prayers, not this girl. Is it still hard? yes, but we should be helping each other find God's will for their life, not hoarding the girls we want.

    • @bluemaverick5641
      @bluemaverick5641 Před 4 lety +20

      Even though you're friend's feelings got hurt he can take it as a learning experience which he would not have had if the girl had rejected him from the very beginning. Dating is a process and you won't necessarily marry the first girl you take on a date.

    • @auddie7133
      @auddie7133 Před 3 lety +9

      I'm listening to this instead of what the lady said because one of my friends wants to date me and I am not interested in him in any way shape or form and I don't want to lead him on

    • @ganymede242
      @ganymede242 Před 3 lety +18

      This is a complex question. I see a lot of women default to 'no' and I think Jackie is arguing to give a guy a chance. I've known many relationships where it took a while for a woman to warm up to a man. If you barely know them, it makes sense to spend 45 minutes chatting over coffee. However if you are certain it's not going to happen then be clear immediately. I also think that culturally we should feel that an initial chat over coffee is no big deal. If we invest it with huge significance and get emotionally invested it's going to be harder.

  • @rhdtv2002
    @rhdtv2002 Před 5 lety +215

    I love my Catholic wife..I'm Catholic too but you know..life is easier when you are of the same yoke

  • @LittleFlowerluv
    @LittleFlowerluv Před 5 lety +256

    Jackie and Bobby out here single-handedly fixing the dating scene for catholic singles-the struggle is real 😂😂 appreciate you guys and this channel!!

  • @vanessaa1640
    @vanessaa1640 Před 5 lety +417

    I'm 26 and I've never been asked out let alone even kissed and I sort of felt like an alien on planet earth.I still get annoyed of peoples reactions when they find out but I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one and there's nothing wrong with me thanks Jackie I love your videos.Hi from Mexico!😀

    • @AHalevonEric
      @AHalevonEric Před 5 lety +14

      You're not an alien or an incel or TFL. You are who you're meant to be.

    • @shadowplay1990
      @shadowplay1990 Před 5 lety +40

      I’m 29 and have only been on a handful of dates and also never kissed. It bothered me up until about a year ago when I watched Fr. Mike’s video about “The One” I also realized that I’m God’s no matter what and He alone is all I need. I still pray for my husband everyday and do become discouraged from time to time, but I know I have Him. Remember that you are His beloved! :)

    • @CheekyKleurling
      @CheekyKleurling Před 5 lety +12

      Dios te bendiga, señora

    • @mufi
      @mufi Před 5 lety +13

      In the words of the homie Young MC - "Don't just stand there, bust a move!" The guy isn't going to fall out of the sky. Get to know more people gradually and sooner or later a dude will ask you out. But you need to put yourself in a position where to meet people. God Bless.

    • @qnhoang
      @qnhoang Před 5 lety +11

      girl, we’re the same age :) I’ve half assed more relationships than I can count (acting like you’re dating but you’re not/ falling into sin) and you may feel like an alien sometimes but you’re saving yourself soooooo much heartache. Praying for you ❤️

  • @nickk4851
    @nickk4851 Před 5 lety +308

    Saying that you shouldn't date in high school is one of the craziest and most reasonable things I've heard in a long time. My initial reaction was "what!?", and then realized it made total sense.

    • @seialofia
      @seialofia Před 4 lety +20

      I honestly wished I watched this before senior year high school bc in that time I felt pressured to date and that’s why I dated my ex boyfriend. He definitely was not the one at all and long story short it became very toxic and I had to call it off or else it would not have been a safe situation for myself or him. So yeah. To any high schooler seeing this, don’t date bc you are pressured date bc you want to and honestly it is not worth dating in high school. :)

    • @yourbiggest1fan
      @yourbiggest1fan Před 4 lety +16

      I'm 24, Catholic and I married my high school sweetheart. We made it through long distance for 4 years in college. We've been together for 6 years now!
      BUT "How to find your soulmate without losing your soul" by Jason Everett was my Bible. I didn't believe in dating in high school, or dating to break up.
      Glad to say, he's my first and only boyfriend. Definitely dated to marry!
      With that said, we are kinda a rare exception.

    • @violinlover4255
      @violinlover4255 Před 4 lety +7

      @Ken H. woah okay buddy first of all no, second of all no. If you're a Catholic then that's embarrassing 🙈 women and men are equally loved in the eyes of God and apart from religion, why shouldn't women have equal rights to an education? We're people too.

    • @violinlover4255
      @violinlover4255 Před 4 lety +3

      Honestly I don't have anything wrong with going on a date or two in high school because sometimes high school sweethearts are married. I'm not allowed to ask a guy out on a date, but I don't think I would even if I was allowed to simply because I'm not going to push for anything rn. I've got a whole life ahead of me to get to know a spouse. Right now I need to get to know myself in strengthening my family and friend relationships.

    • @TheSalami
      @TheSalami Před 4 lety +3

      @Ken H. based

  • @verobarrionuevo
    @verobarrionuevo Před 5 lety +109

    My main issue on dating is that everybody believe that you ougth to have sex. Many men I dated were expecting this even in the first date. This is an issue to me because I really want to be chaste before marriage.

    • @clare_jordin
      @clare_jordin Před 4 lety +9

      María Barr I agree with you. That’s why I just friendzone them in order to get rid of those kind of guys

    • @michelledax4083
      @michelledax4083 Před 4 lety +12

      You may want to pay attention to what you wear, so as not to give the wrong impression. No way on first date. Hope you stay strong and wait. Also, be careful with alchohol because that can create problems, too. Even if you are not drinking and the other person is; beware. Focus more on dates in public places or in groups.

    • @bamafencer12
      @bamafencer12 Před 3 lety +4

      @@michelledax4083 This is horrid advice. A girl could wear sweatpants and a long sleeve shirt and would still want sex. I don't think you understand male sexuality.

    • @michelledax4083
      @michelledax4083 Před 3 lety +3

      @@bamafencer12 Oh, I do. Believe me. Girl in sweat pants still gets raped, too. Girls dress way too provacatively because that is what gets a man's attention and approval. You say one thing and do the other. And, I mean "do" in more than one way. Who are you to be dishing out advice???

    • @felos9274
      @felos9274 Před 3 měsíci +1

      @@bamafencer12 speaking as a male, its incredible advice.

  • @ClaireFrances
    @ClaireFrances Před 5 lety +159

    This video was amazing. I am a new convert, to catholicism, and to Christianity so I was never chaste. I have just gotten out of a five year relationship with somebody and we pretty much slept together from the beginning. I had never until literally right now, seen a problem with sex before marriage. I had felt if two people are committed no big deal but what you just said made the penny drop. You have converted me to being chaste before marriage, because I realize that by sleeping with someone you do bond with them. It's stupid but I never even considered it and I bonded myself to a bad person for five years. I had considered chastity before marriage in the past but guys talked me out of it, now whoever I meet next won't be talking me out of it. Thank you.

  • @alfredojuncor6362
    @alfredojuncor6362 Před 5 lety +557

    Ok
    Now I need to find a Catholic girlfriend with the same strong beliefs

    • @matthewzbornak6880
      @matthewzbornak6880 Před 5 lety +4

      Alfredo JuncoR, I’m thoroughly convinced that these beliefs are way too cold and calculated to allow for a loving and dynamic relationship to come from it. She’s basically saying “have all your ducks in a row and know what you want” but then adding in 4 points to make everything more difficult. This is my opinion but as someone who has spent a lot of time dating (and ultimately being the one who does all of the messing up) you don’t want your potential partner to say “wow, I regret all of this” when you make a single mistake. Because that’s what this kind of advice ultimately leads to, an uncaring and utterly self-interested view of dating.

    • @buikejesus
      @buikejesus Před 5 lety +1

      @@matthewzbornak6880 If I may ask, are you a Christian or Catholic?

    • @matthewzbornak6880
      @matthewzbornak6880 Před 5 lety +18

      buike4jesus 2018. I thought they were the same thing? I am Catholic

    • @buikejesus
      @buikejesus Před 5 lety +10

      @@matthewzbornak6880 Well, yeah. Catholicism is a denomination of Christianity.

    • @flanaggenwaters
      @flanaggenwaters Před 5 lety +35

      @@matthewzbornak6880 if you say you are Catholic you are Christian. But if you say you are Christian, I can't assume you're Catholic. You could be Methodist, LDS, Baptist, non-denominational Christian, etc. Hence why the question for clarification cause some churches approach dating differently.

  • @Magdalena287
    @Magdalena287 Před 5 lety +82

    I'm 31 and have been married to my husband since I was 19 and he was 20, the only thing I regret is not meeting him sooner. I had one other guy in my life during high school and I wish my first time could have been with my husband. We have 4 beautiful kids now and i would say life is pretty good though 😊

  • @WordsPictures997
    @WordsPictures997 Před 5 lety +143

    Giiirrrllll!!!! This needs to be on loud speakers everywhere. Thank you so much for this Jackie.

  • @LB-ku6ry
    @LB-ku6ry Před rokem +14

    I’m 59 years old. I wish I would have had this information as a teenager. It’s so pure and respectful.

  • @number1english1
    @number1english1 Před 4 lety +45

    Wow, I wish I could add 200 likes to this video. I've been saying this for years: the purpose of dating is to find your future spouse. Too many young people are wasting their time hooking up with people they have no intention of being serious with. This video basically summed up the frustration of my youth. I thought I was the only one...

  • @ianlee3296
    @ianlee3296 Před 5 lety +89

    I heard you speak two months ago at Theology on Tap here in Denver. I want to say that after that talk, I asked for a girls number who I was interested in with the intention of asking her out on a date. About two days later after Theology on Tap, I get a text from her and asking to be more than just friends. We've been seeing each other quite often and have decided to make it exclusive as of this week. Just want to say thanks for coming out to Denver and the good talk you gave that brought good blessings from it.

  • @susangrande8142
    @susangrande8142 Před 5 lety +78

    This is absolutely golden advice! I’m 60 years old, was raised agnostic and when “dating culture” was still a thing, went too far way too many times, and got thoroughly messed up by it. I met my DH at age 47; we married 3 months after our first date, and we’ve been happily married since then. I completely agree with Jackie’s dating advice, and I wish I’d known about it as a teenager and young woman. (I converted to Catholicism 6 years ago.)

    • @rockmintswirl5616
      @rockmintswirl5616 Před 5 lety +6

      Happy belated Welcome Home to the Holy Catholic Church! ~ Rockfeather

    • @susangrande8142
      @susangrande8142 Před 5 lety +6

      Thank you! 😀 I’m in a program studying to become a spiritual director and director of spiritual retreats. I’m very, very happy to be a Catholic!

    • @rockmintswirl5616
      @rockmintswirl5616 Před 5 lety +4

      @@susangrande8142 You're welcome! That sounds very interesting!

    • @teenherofilms
      @teenherofilms Před 5 lety +1

      Susan Grande You went from one goofy idea to another.

    • @kodingkrusader2765
      @kodingkrusader2765 Před 4 lety +4

      Ive been with the most amazing woman for 6 months. Ive known i wanted to marry her since easter dinner at her moms (my second date).
      I have a bad track record. I was gnostic i have a baby momma and an ex wife (im 33) i was looking for the wrong things. After the bm cheated i sat down and made a list. 3 pages. This woman i was working with was attractive and our company was closing. Started dating and this woman meets every single one of my requirements. Im scared of actually marrying her bc now im Catholic i know i cant divorce (my first marriage is invalid bc she was married before i got married bc i was in iraq and got shot at and blown up a few times and figured id die and didnt want tondie unwed).
      Anyway. Im just glad to see 3 months of dating was all you needed to tie the knot bc ive been so scared but always felt you should know pretty quickly.

  • @love2loveheart10
    @love2loveheart10 Před 5 lety +38

    Totally regret dating in high school 100%!! After I graduated i did a 1 year dating fast, worth it!

    • @AU-pu9vl
      @AU-pu9vl Před 4 lety +1

      Want to do another?

  • @amandab7
    @amandab7 Před 5 lety +47

    Thank you Jackie!!
    I'd love to hear the story of how you and Bobby meet, your dating story and how you know knew each other was the one!

    • @roxysk8trgirl
      @roxysk8trgirl Před 5 lety +2

      It's on their website, it is such a neat story!!

  • @jessiegenomics
    @jessiegenomics Před 3 lety +17

    I've just left a relationship that was completely wrong. I needed to hear this. I am going to try my hardest not to fall back into the spiral and I am going to wait a longggg while before I actually date. Thank you for explaining this in such a non judgemental, but direct, way.

  • @renatojimenez9653
    @renatojimenez9653 Před 5 lety +59

    Who else is single and love hearing tips and advices from Jackie's?🙋🏼‍♂️

    • @joehouston2833
      @joehouston2833 Před 4 lety

      Find a Muslim woman than convert her to Christ..

    • @joehouston2833
      @joehouston2833 Před 4 lety

      @Brandon Ortiz makes sense

    • @Onlinesully
      @Onlinesully Před 4 lety

      Renato Jimenez
      this is a smug woman preaching from inside her marriage.
      4 guys wanted to date me etc etc

  • @jwork4240
    @jwork4240 Před 5 lety +38

    I like this and absolutely agree we need to reclaim dating! However, I completely disagree with the advice to say yes to anyone who asks you out unless you think they're going to murder you. You don't owe anyone a yes to anything (okay, other than God), and you don't have to have a serious reason for saying no. If you already know that you are not interested in someone, don't say yes to a date with them. It's unkind to agree to a date when you know there's nothing there.

    • @susangrande8142
      @susangrande8142 Před 2 lety +6

      I understand why you say this, but I have to disagree with you, based on my own experience. I once went on a blind date with a man, and he was nice enough, but I didn’t feel a spark with him, and I called him after the date was over and told him so. I went on my merry way. But God had other ideas. I kept thinking about that guy, and I called him back after a few days and asked him to meet me at a park, so we could walk around and talk. Well, sparks flew then. He asked me to marry him a month later; we married 3 months from our first date, and we’ve been happily married for 14 years now. Please keep in mind, that this isn’t a fairy tale. We’ve had our ups and downs and dealt with a lot of hard stuff together (like 3 parents dying, and injuries and illnesses). But he’s the guy for me. Bottom line, in my opinion: say yes to someone for a first date, even if you have no interest in them. At least you’ll have an interesting afternoon or evening, and maybe learn something about yourself. (I’m 63 years old.) I think Jackie’s advice in this video is spot on.👍

  • @BlessedLifeLoveandFaith
    @BlessedLifeLoveandFaith Před 5 lety +31

    God bless you and your family Jackie!! What a great video!! I am blessed at age 27, still don't have everything figured out. But I had my first kiss at 26 and dating a wonderful man! We are chaste in our relationship and it really is true to what Jackie says. I have seen all our positive moments and our flaws in particular. It's a struggle to not want to physically show our love to each other, but patience is really vital. We both don't have our careers set and hopefully God grants us grace to keep up with virtues and overall our love. Pray for us! Thank you again. (:

  • @SimplyZeyma
    @SimplyZeyma Před 4 lety +3

    I love how straight up and like honest she is about all this stuff, it’s all super helpful info 👏🏼

  • @ruizmorelos
    @ruizmorelos Před 5 lety +43

    Oh boy... some harsh truth... but man is it useful!

  • @ButtsMcCracken
    @ButtsMcCracken Před 2 lety +10

    Man I really wish someone would've given me this advice 15 years ago. I've had absolutely no blueprint for intentional dating and I've paid the price: 15 years of my life spent flailing around aimlessly in relationships that went nowhere. Kids, please do yourselves a favor and listen to this woman. She knows what's up.

  • @anustinnewsam13
    @anustinnewsam13 Před 5 lety +6

    Jackie, really appreciate you speaking out on the difficult topics that are sometimes hard to hear. I'm 24 and getting married in July but wish I heard this message in high school. I was guilty of being indirect, ghosting, and going too far. If I heard a voice like yours when I was 15 I could've saved the hurt of many others and starting living the good life much sooner. God bless you!

  • @joececcacci4879
    @joececcacci4879 Před 5 lety +24

    Loneliness is prevalent throughout society and more so today than ever.

  • @Allzumenschliches44
    @Allzumenschliches44 Před 5 lety +2

    The right video for the right time in my life. God bless you, Jackie!

  • @MiiaVita
    @MiiaVita Před 5 lety +72

    Will you talk about the first engagement that you had that didn't work out? How did you discern that?

    • @GuadalupePicasso
      @GuadalupePicasso Před 3 lety +4

      As a man who was once engaged (under very different than Jackie, I assume), I, too, am curious to hear this part of her story.

  • @arianaranieri7011
    @arianaranieri7011 Před 5 lety +1

    Wow this is so great! I’ve never dated and I’m 20. It is hard sometimes but hearing you talk about all the important things to think about remind me why it’s important and worth while to take my time.

  • @jamesmerone
    @jamesmerone Před 5 lety +7

    1:18 Preeeeeeeeeaach girl 👏🏾 I tell people and myself this all the time. I'll say I'm not gonna date or have a girlfriend until I'm married, then they say I make no sense. And call me "weird".

  • @jamesmccarthy4777
    @jamesmccarthy4777 Před 5 lety +3

    Thanks so much for this! I feel a lot more peace of mind when it comes to dating.

  • @anastasiawasylinko5482
    @anastasiawasylinko5482 Před 5 lety +3

    Great video! I've never been asked out on a date before, but now I know what to do! Thank you so much!

  • @analuciasequeiracastro9132
    @analuciasequeiracastro9132 Před 5 lety +21

    Awesome video. I loved how Jackie used the proper word in Spanish. Wow!!!!! 😂😂 Jackie is awesome. I love all her videos. Thanks, thanks very much. And God bless you, your family and ministry.

    • @josejaimeperezsegura1942
      @josejaimeperezsegura1942 Před 5 lety +1

      I've played that part 3 times to make sure I had understood right hahaha

    • @analuciasequeiracastro9132
      @analuciasequeiracastro9132 Před 5 lety

      @@josejaimeperezsegura1942 A mí me sonó muy claro jajaja, además de que encajaba perfecto en la idea. 😂😂

    • @stopcasteevilanjanienanlal8693
      @stopcasteevilanjanienanlal8693 Před 5 lety

      Bless u MG and uour marriage

    • @josejaimeperezsegura1942
      @josejaimeperezsegura1942 Před 5 lety +1

      @@analuciasequeiracastro9132 Jajajaja encaja mejor imposible, pero como estoy acostumbrado a una "j" mucho más fuerte, creía que a lo mejor había podido decir algo en inglés que yo no hubiera entendido. Pero a la tercera vez ya había descartado las demás posibilidades jajajaja

  • @androidmarketqq
    @androidmarketqq Před 5 lety +2

    Thank you Jackie for making this video!! Please make a video on what to discuss when on a date.

  • @emellieneacosta7172
    @emellieneacosta7172 Před 5 lety +1

    Thanks, Jackie! God bless your family~ 🙏🏻♥️

  • @nataliestitak4915
    @nataliestitak4915 Před 5 lety +1

    Oh my goodness! This video is gold and has helped me so much with my current situation!!! Thank you so much!! 😄🙌

  • @Stephanie-qi1ls
    @Stephanie-qi1ls Před 5 lety +1

    YOU’RE AWESOME JACKIE! Straight to the point! 😄

  • @xyzzx2454
    @xyzzx2454 Před 5 lety +28

    Thank you so much, I was feeling down because I got told that I’m “wasting my life” for never doing it with or kissing a guy even when I’m 21. Sure, I might come across as a weirdo or inexperienced person to many people in this current culture of Tinder and Bumble but I know that someday I will meet a like minded guy who saved himself for me.

    • @clare_jordin
      @clare_jordin Před 4 lety +6

      ThatGirl. Trust me that’s a GREAT THING. Keep it up! A lot of people regret the partners they’ve slept with and they just self project on others. Don’t let people’s opinions get you down girl! God’s will always comes first and He will definitely bless you with what you want and need. No sex for me till marriage too!

    • @cheryl71000
      @cheryl71000 Před 3 lety +4

      Your not wasting your life. Do you know how special you will be to your future spouse, for waiting. Plus, you will know he totally loves and is committed to you. Having sex is like emotionally gluing bonding yourself to that person. Your mind goes a bit mad. Take it from me , wait for the person who adores you and only you, a lifer. If he will wait till marriage, it's pretty good that he is committed to you.

  • @BoycottYouTube2023
    @BoycottYouTube2023 Před 5 lety +30

    Sharing this with my teens! ♥️

  • @addie-eileenpaige6460
    @addie-eileenpaige6460 Před 5 lety +10

    Thanks, Jackie. Personally, I want a guy to ask me on the first date. I want him to use the word "date," not to "hang" or "do something" or "go somewhere."

  • @thienanvu4475
    @thienanvu4475 Před 5 lety +3

    exactlyy Jackie, dating is to get married, there is no point dating without a purpose. Thanks for this super useful advice, love u, Jackie,

  • @catherineclipse3553
    @catherineclipse3553 Před 5 lety +1

    Thank you for this video, Jackie. I needed this! 🙏

  • @albablanco9145
    @albablanco9145 Před 4 lety +16

    “You’re not swapping spit” EPIC🤣

  • @CloudxNight15
    @CloudxNight15 Před 5 lety +9

    Ahhhhh thank you!!!!! This is helping me a lot!

  • @teresacai7718
    @teresacai7718 Před 5 lety

    Great job Jackie! Very useful and practical advices. God bless.

  • @skojigoquist9288
    @skojigoquist9288 Před 4 lety +7

    This is good. Very good.
    I really wish someone had explained this to me when I was 25.

  • @RanMouri82
    @RanMouri82 Před 5 lety +37

    Thank you so much for this. I don't date (probably going to become a consecrated virgin) but really glad that some folks have thought of plans and parameters for dating.

    • @cody7575
      @cody7575 Před 5 lety +1

      RanMouri82 that’s interesting I’ve never heard of that , what anime is your profile picture from?

    • @thewaterwarrior9817
      @thewaterwarrior9817 Před 5 lety +2

      What's a consecrated virgin

    • @lisaeshleman754
      @lisaeshleman754 Před 5 lety +12

      @@thewaterwarrior9817 consecrated virgins and consecrated lay people are the Church's best secret. you need to look into it!! it is basically a third path of vocation. the woman who runs RCIA at my parish is a consecrated lay virgin. this can also be a great path for LBGT Catholics who want to live chaste lives!!

    • @lisaeshleman754
      @lisaeshleman754 Před 5 lety

      @@cody7575 Check it out please!! see my comment above!

    • @thewaterwarrior9817
      @thewaterwarrior9817 Před 5 lety

      @@lisaeshleman754 sounds very cool!

  • @danbernal5662
    @danbernal5662 Před 5 lety +3

    i LITERALLY JUST needed this

  • @seialofia
    @seialofia Před 4 lety +3

    Thank you so much for this video! It really helped! I would love it if you made a video on college dating since I know that it is completely different from high school dating.

  • @madalinaherdes5478
    @madalinaherdes5478 Před 2 lety

    I totally love you for the perspective you give to young people about how we should treat the other in a relationship. You changed the way I was seeing a relationship and give me strenght to pray for a good husband and to belive that somewhere in this world he exists! Thank you, God bless you and your beautiful family!❤🙏🥰

  • @citlalyrendon8793
    @citlalyrendon8793 Před 3 lety +1

    This video is so helpful !!! So thankful I found this video! God bless!

  • @mkznan5963
    @mkznan5963 Před 5 lety +3

    thank you! this advice is much needed

  • @marcelo626able
    @marcelo626able Před 5 lety +1

    I guess you guys read my answers on the survey! Thanks for this :)

  • @kimmyle0
    @kimmyle0 Před 2 lety

    I wish I have these information when I was a teenager... I need to spread these messages to my younger brothers and sister. God bless Ascension ministry ❤💕

  • @lindseyguin3215
    @lindseyguin3215 Před 5 lety +17

    Hey Jackie! Can you please make a video about emotional chastity?? I really struggle with that and know a lot of other people do as well, but it's so hard to explain. xoxo

  • @peggylyons9885
    @peggylyons9885 Před 5 lety

    Excellent video, truthful and very well stated.

  • @elenahermineregal2824
    @elenahermineregal2824 Před 5 lety +22

    That has never been the way I got in a retationship 😂😂. My first "date" with my boyfriend was 3 days long and on the second day we became girlfriend and boyfriend. Before this date we saw each other a few times and then we texted each other for 6 weaks, 2 weaks all the time and the whole night, spoke 2 weaks on the phone every day for some hours and prayed the rosary together every day, then skyped every day for 2 weaks and prayed together the rosary every day and after that we had our first Date. 😂 We prayed alot about each other and pray the rosary together every day since. I just want to say there is not the one way to date or to find the perfekt relationship. We were 23 & 28 at this time and both practicing catholics with the same spiritual community. The most impotant thing is in my opinion that God is in the centre all the time! :) God bless.

    • @lala-no6hn
      @lala-no6hn Před 4 lety +7

      Elena Hermine Regal Praying the rosary together must be so romantic! That and going to the mass with him are my dreams. Congratulations to you both 😊

  • @ftsmith351
    @ftsmith351 Před 4 lety +1

    Great council! Wish I had this info when I was trying to figure this all out.

  • @housevinyl4640
    @housevinyl4640 Před 5 lety +28

    It’s difficult to date when everyone seems to meet online and there are so many people on these dating sites that seem to want a hook up and not a spouse. For those of you who met your spouse after 30, where/ how did you meet?

    • @batman-robin-soundtrack
      @batman-robin-soundtrack Před 6 měsíci

      I utterly despise online dating, but it's how my aunt and uncle met, and they have a very good marriage, so I can't say it's entirely bad.

  • @estebancasillasjr8823
    @estebancasillasjr8823 Před 4 lety +4

    Straight out. I really appreciate it.God bless

  • @benitovega2942
    @benitovega2942 Před 4 lety

    Thank you very much, Jackie. I appreciate your video.

  • @renaissancegirl87
    @renaissancegirl87 Před 5 lety +3

    You talk about being clear with communication which I do so appreciate. Like actually saying “can I take you out on a date”. It’s amazing to me that people can’t get these words out. I will mention that sometimes one on one can be intimidating and if a guy who I would like to get to know asks me out but I feel like one on one would be too much pressure for me at that time I will say “I would love to get together, and at this time I would be most comfortable doing something in a group setting. Is that ok with you?” THEN if he makes a stink about it or challenges me or is weird I take that as a yellow flag. A man who is truly interested in me for legit reasons will meet me at my comfort level and not put undue pressure.
    Also you mentioned about not being the girl who just avoids or doesn’t message back, ghosts etc. I confess I’ve been guilty of this. The reason why I have done that is because the man used vey ambiguous language when “asking me out” so then in my confusion and awkwardness about what to say back because I was thinking in my head “what the heck does he mean by ‘let’s hang out sometime???’” I just didn’t respond. 😬 oops. Now I feel like if a man uses language I’m confused about I will ask “under what context will we be ‘hanging out’? What do you mean by that? As friends or on a date”

    • @grandeurglory5030
      @grandeurglory5030 Před 3 lety

      a low one would date u in d name of friend, so that he wont invest like a date.mostly liars

  • @seanhancock9454
    @seanhancock9454 Před 2 lety +1

    Thank you so much for this Jackie. I'm 20 years old (almost 21) and I've never had a date (not that I haven't asked before). Hearing about your friend and seeing the comments here made me realize that it's not that weird. I now also realize that I need to say the words "would you like to go on a date with me" which is extremely daunting (although easier than flirting around the question).

  • @tonyvu7246
    @tonyvu7246 Před 5 lety +37

    I like the video. But it's a slippery slope to say that you can date multiple people at the same time. Yes it's okay for the first few meet-ups, but people have the tendency to prolong this part, because people can be indecisive or they want to hold out and see what is the best they can get. A strong emphasis on 3 or 4 dates max is a good limit for multiple dating, so you don't waste other's time and are considerate of their feelings.

    • @aresye
      @aresye Před 5 lety +8

      Dating is to determine who you're going to court, whereas courtship involves exclusivity. What a lot of young folks believe about dating is actually courtship, and what they think about courtship is actually engagement. Dating is basically what most folks consider "hanging out" nowadays. Just spending time together, either alone or with a group, doing church activities, social activities, etc. to develop a friendship without any emphasis on romantic feelings, and certainly not acting on lust. The whole point of dating is to determine who you start developing serious feelings for. Sadly most folks don't date at all and society actually frowns upon the idea of becoming friends first, so everyone just skips right to courtship but with no intentions of marrying. Just pure, uncontrolled passions.

    • @tonyvu7246
      @tonyvu7246 Před 5 lety +6

      @@aresye You're exactly right that what some people believe about dating is actually something else. That's the problem today. People don't agree on what dating means. From the beginning of a relationship, two people have to clarify the definitions. Therefore, it's mandatory that if we say something like "you can date multiple people at once," you also have to clarify what that does or doesn't mean.

    • @clare_jordin
      @clare_jordin Před 4 lety +2

      aresye I agree with you, friendship creates a good foundation. I honestly cannot see myself getting into a relationship with being friends with a person first

  • @Mrs.BrittSherwood
    @Mrs.BrittSherwood Před 2 lety

    "Life is short don't be shy" Amen sister!

  • @pmvrodriguezfamily
    @pmvrodriguezfamily Před 5 lety +1

    Thank you very much! I looooooved it and will share it with family and friends!
    P.S.- Hope someday you guys open up a channel in Spanish or put subtitles. You have great info!
    God bless you.

  • @caribaez5711
    @caribaez5711 Před 5 lety +1

    this is a great video.. i did not even know this at all. thank you.

  • @jeanneesta2997
    @jeanneesta2997 Před 5 lety +20

    My Take-Away.
    1. If you aren't ready to get married.... DON'T DATE.
    2. Ask them on a 90 minute date of less than $10 (UGX40,000 my suggestion). And if asked say yes, just say yes.
    3. Respect your time and other people's time
    4. Chasity helps you not convince yourself that you love someone who you really don't love.
    DATE... don't hung out and Chill uuurrgggh

    • @teenherofilms
      @teenherofilms Před 5 lety +3

      My take-Away I have been dating since the age of 19 and I have never married. Where is this logic of yours coming from? I enjoy other people´s company, I adore the opera and the theater, both cost more than ten pounds, So tell me exactly why I should go through my whole life and not date just because marriage is not for me.?

    • @jeanneesta2997
      @jeanneesta2997 Před 5 lety +2

      @@teenherofilms, Going on dates is not bad. I believe that she means the actual process of long term dating and that is what I am referring to. In fact Jackie said we should go on dates, and I concur. Go on as many dates as you like. But don't date someone if you don't intend for it to be serious.

    • @teenherofilms
      @teenherofilms Před 5 lety +2

      @@jeanneesta2997 Jackie said this, Jackie said that. Who appointed Jackie the ultimate authority on dating? You say don´t date some one if you don´t intend for it to be serious. How would anyone know if it would turn out to be serious or not, one way or the other?

    • @teenherofilms
      @teenherofilms Před 5 lety +2

      My take away I´m 70, don´t intend to get married and date two women. It´s MY life. I repeat it´s MY life!

    • @jeanneesta2997
      @jeanneesta2997 Před 5 lety +6

      And that's okay too. At the end of the day it's all up to you. I believe that it's called "Free will"

  • @chuchutheservant
    @chuchutheservant Před 2 lety

    YOU REALLY HIT ALL THE POINTS. GOD BLESS 💕💕💕

  • @bevanchikoski3679
    @bevanchikoski3679 Před 5 lety +1

    DTR! OHMYGOODNESS! I haven't heard that in so long! I've been with my husband for 2 years now and I don't miss those DTRs moments that happened before him. I wish I was more exposed to this point of view when I was younger!

  • @soramakizushi
    @soramakizushi Před 5 lety +2

    I watched that movie. They showed it at my college -- it was great!!👌

  • @tito810
    @tito810 Před 4 lety +3

    Thank you Jackie for this advice. I wished I had knew this when I was in my teens and early to mid 20s. Nonetheless your advice is helping me out to maze thru the dating scene.

  • @annejenna125
    @annejenna125 Před 11 měsíci +1

    Love you!!😇😇Thank you for sharing all your wisdom.

  • @NeatStuff86
    @NeatStuff86 Před 5 lety +5

    God bless, this is really helpful to those in the struggle :P

  • @ashackle01
    @ashackle01 Před 5 lety +2

    Needed this!!!

  • @Spike294
    @Spike294 Před 5 lety

    1 is very important, right on. Easy to forget.

  • @user-zt3dv5cl4b
    @user-zt3dv5cl4b Před 4 lety +2

    I was laughing so hard at that "compliments me" joke! 🤣 That's amazing though, you guys are a great couple.

  • @cj7girl280
    @cj7girl280 Před 3 lety

    Thanks for sharing! God bless you and your family!

  • @cel9291
    @cel9291 Před 4 lety +2

    I totally agree with u !! It's difficult to find someone who understands, supports your faith and helps you go to heaven. In my case, I haven't !! I'm 27 btw !! Aaand my last boyfriend ( I mean the only one I've ever had) dumped me because I was a virgin !! (So I can relate with the feeling) thank u for bringing hope back to me and making me feel that Im not alone or crazy for wanting to do thing right !!! Kisses and hugs from Ecuador !!!!!!!

  • @bethanyhenderson8686
    @bethanyhenderson8686 Před 5 lety +2

    I loved this video! I’m a single mom, was married young, but now it’s like uhhhh I don’t know how to do this!! It’s been 10+ years! Lol so this was super helpful! Thank you!

    • @bethanyhenderson8686
      @bethanyhenderson8686 Před 5 lety +1

      Hahaha nope not having a hard time at all! Turns out real men aren’t scared away by children.

  • @paulhill7726
    @paulhill7726 Před 5 lety

    Excellent and sound teaching

  • @thewaterwarrior9817
    @thewaterwarrior9817 Před 5 lety

    Thank you Jackie, very cool.

  • @Chaos3000and3
    @Chaos3000and3 Před 5 lety +16

    I'm a seminarian and I learned a lot from this.

    • @marcussfebruary9104
      @marcussfebruary9104 Před 5 lety +3

      May God bless you in you're endeavor to follow him closely! ❤️

    • @lala-no6hn
      @lala-no6hn Před 4 lety +2

      I really admire people like you. The rest of us dont have enough strengh to dedicate our life to God but you, nuns and priest do. God bless you 😊 be brave an count with my prayers

  • @LacrimarvmValle
    @LacrimarvmValle Před 5 lety +84

    5:41, I'm Spanish, I had to rewind like 3 times cause I thought my bilingual brain played a trick on me, but no, you did curse in Spanish jajajaja

    • @pmvrodriguezfamily
      @pmvrodriguezfamily Před 5 lety +4

      Lluís Melián, 😂😂😂 It happened to me too!!!

    • @xMoexWhittx
      @xMoexWhittx Před 5 lety +1

      Lol!! Same! I didn't think it was a bad word though 🤔😂

    • @poetlover30
      @poetlover30 Před 5 lety +4

      Ah, tener los cojones - be gutsy lol! Yea, I didn't think there was anything wrong that word lol - What she was saying is to have the confidence & the Boldness to ask that person out on a date! I'm just afraid to be alone with him so I invite other friends to come along... Is that weird??? What do you think??

    • @madhoops1432
      @madhoops1432 Před 5 lety +6

      @@poetlover30 Diana, looking to spend time with you boyfriend publicly is a great way to date. It keeps you from falling into sin, but shows you know your strengths and weaknesses. If your fear of being alone with him is due to fear that you might go to far, then you're acting for the right reasons. If its fear for a different reason, you may want to assess your relationship more. Jackie has an awesome video on building a godly relationship...I don't remember what it's called, but its great!

    • @littlebear7440
      @littlebear7440 Před 5 lety +7

      hey! cojones is not cursing!
      I'm a native Spanish speaker as well, and it just means to be brave and bold.

  • @bianian8
    @bianian8 Před 5 lety +2

    It's crazy how these videos consistently "conveniently" match up with the current questions that are moving through my head

    • @bruno-bnvm
      @bruno-bnvm Před rokem +1

      There are no coincidence when you are with the Lord. He's working

    • @bianian8
      @bianian8 Před rokem

      @@bruno-bnvm Amen

  • @jonnda
    @jonnda Před 4 lety +19

    The purpose of dating in highschool or even middle school, is to form a better social IQ. I didn't, and I had to quickly figure out in college what all of my peers had figured out over 8 years ago.

    • @bamafencer12
      @bamafencer12 Před 3 lety +1

      Yeah I wasn't allowed to date in HS and was super socially awkward in college.

    • @katien3022
      @katien3022 Před 3 lety +1

      Yeah but you shouldn’t force it and feel like you have to date someone in high school. It’s such a small pool of people and time in your life.

  • @CTS55555
    @CTS55555 Před 4 lety +4

    I almost 40, never married, and didn't desire dating until I was in late twenties. In my early 30s, I became active with dating but I never dated a man that wanted to move into the next step of becoming a couple or getting into a committed or serious relationship...never been been asked by a man to be his girlfriend. However I am thankful that they all friendzoned me early in the relationship and didn't continue leading me on.

  • @sirjaime4258
    @sirjaime4258 Před 5 lety +3

    This will help me when I start dating 👩🏼 in South America or Mexico 🇲🇽 it’s just getting harder here in America my friend married a beautiful filipina in Manila they been together for 10 years with 3 beautiful kids happy wife happy life married by the church I’m sure they have there problems we all do but it shows that she is humble and loves her man accepted him AS IS man he is blessed

  • @pmvrodriguezfamily
    @pmvrodriguezfamily Před 5 lety +6

    2:04, not even half percent of this video and I’m already: “True....she’s right!” 😂🙌🏽

  • @OmarGonzalez-np4qd
    @OmarGonzalez-np4qd Před 2 lety

    Loved this, Thank You.

  • @MissaLifeStyle
    @MissaLifeStyle Před rokem

    All good advice. The only thing I would add as a person who has been married almost 19 years, is finding someone young is ok. I almost think it’s harder to find someone when you are older because a lot of ppl are already with someone else. You end up growing with your significant other which is a good thing.

  • @weallhaveanopinion
    @weallhaveanopinion Před 5 lety +2

    Showing this to my 9th grade class tomorrow!

  • @tylerharvey3688
    @tylerharvey3688 Před 2 měsíci

    Excellent talk.

  • @marthag2424
    @marthag2424 Před 5 lety

    Hi thanks for sharing! great tips!

  • @thaliarose8741
    @thaliarose8741 Před 5 lety

    Exactly.. God bless you and your family

  • @AdWipe
    @AdWipe Před 3 lety

    Oh no, I liked this way too much. Guess I'll have to start binging all of her vids in addition to Fr. Mike's!!

  • @mufi
    @mufi Před 5 lety +4

    lol - I broke every rule Jackie mentioned... But she does make good points. Although I'm skeptical of the whole paying thing. There's so much financial parity between men and women in today's (western) society, so I don't see the problem with splitting the bill in the initial encounters. And she is spot on about being harder to discern about someone when you get intimate with someone. Sex literally changes everything.

    • @poetlover30
      @poetlover30 Před 5 lety

      True, I agree to wait before being physical but I'm so weak!! 😅 So, I have to invite friends to make sure I don't just "fall" into his arms lol 😊😉 I don't know what it is but I'm usually the type that just stares in his beautiful eyes & just don't even know what he's been saying for the past 20 mins type of thing lol

  • @jefferywashpon8389
    @jefferywashpon8389 Před 2 lety

    This is some good, realistic, information. This is the correct way to find a woman in church. Very wise. I enjoyed this.🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞

  • @wishIwuzskiing
    @wishIwuzskiing Před 4 lety +2

    I agree with the overall plan and approach. Here is my one big concern. There is a growing segment of the population with significant emotional challenges with narcissism being one of them. For these people, they can be amazingly charming, mirroring (they reflect your values) etc and this can go on for months. We need to give young people the tools to recognize emotional challenges early, early, early in the process.

    • @clare_jordin
      @clare_jordin Před 4 lety +2

      wishIwuzskiing EXACTLY!!! Honestly I find dating to be deceptive to an extent, people always put their good attributes on display in order impress you and you don’t get to know the real them. That’s why I friendzone first, if a guy knows that the only thing he’s gonna get from me is friendship, then his true self is more likely to show

    • @wishIwuzskiing
      @wishIwuzskiing Před 4 lety

      @@clare_jordin Far too many people are having this same experience. Very smart of you to start with friendship and get to know a person.