HOW I KNEW MY MARRIAGE WAS OVER | Haleigh Everts
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- čas přidán 10. 09. 2024
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#haleigheverts #divorcestory #breakup
I’m happy you’re happy, but I would warn you no matter how old you get - there is nothing more exciting than the first year of a relationship, but there is still a lot to learn about that person. Just take it slow and enjoy it, life isn’t a rush :)
And....they are engaged now.
@@abluelark definition of insanity is doing the exact same thing and expecting different results.
@@katerinahernandez4778 yup! I wish her all the best...but I'm afraid she will get herself into another bad relationship.
They are married now
I had a honeymoon that lasted about 3 years but I'm a very fun exciting person and she was Leo so she was pretty beautiful and fun too... But the grass wasn't greener on the other side and now she wants me back but it's too late you got with another so sorry babe ' you're fired ' as president Trump would say. LOL
I don’t mean any disrespect by saying this.. but part of me; coming from someone who used to do this- feels like you’re in the process of discovering yourself. And the fact you just found Christianity and a new church it’s like refreshing and new- your brain is filled with excitement from that alone. And then finding a man to fit that piece is great but what about when that ends? What about when the new excitement ends or you question the church? You’ve seemed to constantly - from the very beginning he overly concerned with not being single and like your whole purpose as a human is to find a man.
My mom raised my sister and I this way- my sister believes it 100%, I didn’t.
My sister has gone through 100s of guys and it never worked out- I did not.
When I joined the Mormon church I’m sooo thankful I didn’t date/marry because I left a few months later. When I got all excited in the non denominational church- glad I didn’t date there either cause it didn’t last. The flashing lights dimmed.
You will never be happy jumping from man to man until you discover your purpose ALONE.
Aside from being a mom, a wife, even a Christian- who are you- what is your purpose- what do you love and enjoy? What interests you?
You seem to constantly be searching for safety and security.
I relate to your story because my husband seems to be a lot like CJ, with wanting other women and all that stuff,
I know in my heart it may not work out unfortunately- and I’ve gone through stages where I clung onto a male friend and saw him in this grand light because it was a safety blanket from what I was going through.
But I stop myself from doing what you did and using this guy to be my help while escaping from my marriage. I am mature enough to know that THOSE rose colored glasses are tinted by the pain of the current situation.
You have always come off like you’re giving advice cause you “finally figured it out” but the truth is- you haven’t figured it out until you no longer think you figured it out.
This could be a rare scenario where it works out with your boyfriend- and I hope it is- but please proceed with caution.
God bless
I don't completely agree with this. People grow and change but nowhere in the Bible does it say to find yourself before being married. Good things happen at bad times. Life is not linear and you don't have to have all your ducks in a row to trust God. The Bible is all about not having your ducks in a row and just trusting God.
People can find happiness anywhere. Humans were made to be in community and relationships with eachother. This "be alone and be happy that way" thing is kind of toxic for some people unless they are codependent. Life and Christianity is not about the self.
She has a history of wanting to stay married to her husband. This isn't so much a her problem.
I hope Haleigh will listen to your excellent advice. She seems so desperate to find love and security in a man.
@@katherineh.6852 Haleigh is the classic codependent. She needs to find a good therapist before she gets into a relationship.
I’m the child of divorced parents, and one thing I wished they would have done was WAIT to date. I was still grieving and so young, and I didn’t feel like I got any time to get used to my parents splitting up before there were new people in my life. And inevitably, I’d get too attached to those new people and it didn’t end up working out, even though everyone had the best of intentions. I know you’re a devoted and amazing mom, but I hope you can give your kids some time before you make the new relationship permanent. (Things like partners spending the night, PDA in front of me, talking about future or making me feel like I had to consider the new person family.) I would fake it, but inside, it was so confusing. Just some perspective! Your whole family was just ripped apart. Of course, get your sexy on with your new man, but try and keep the brakes on when it comes to the bbs. ❤️❤️
I actually feel the opposite way! When my parents got divorced it was just me & my dad against the world. When my step mom came into the picture I felt replaced and I was devastated. I would hate for my kids to get adjusted to life as just the three of us and then all of the sudden shake it up and have a difficult adjustment. I love that we didn’t skip a beat and my kids didn’t have to miss out on a father figure being in the home. I love that they’re so young they’ll always remember him being apart of our lives. My daughter used to pray every day that daddy won’t hurt mommy and that mommy will be happy. Now she sees me so happy! She loves giving Mark hugs and kisses and seeing us he affectionate. She asks all the time when I’m going to have a ring and we’re going to be married. I tell her all the time that her daddy will always be her daddy, and then she’ll get to have two daddies! She says she only wants Mark to be her daddy 😬 I follow their lead and see how they feel and respect what they’re comfortable with!
@@HaleighMarkar that’s nice and everything but it’s not good for your child to feel responsible to pray like that or feel like because she is praying, you’re being protected. I agree with the OP. Look up stats on children ab”se it happens way more to girls from non related people in the home. But I am glad you can be done with the x he’s annoying and gross. I’m so glad you left Mormon church. I left church of Christ at 30 and I’m 34 now. I’m married but almost had to leave bc he was ab”sive and I was accepting it like you. But I put my foot down and showed him articles and info about gaslighting etc and told Hom this is it u either listen or I’ll never talk to u again.
Things are different now. But I’m so sorry for you the x couldn’t be a man. You deserve to be happy. Thanks for sharing this video. I first saw ur channel w the swimsuit video where people freaked out. And I was in the comments arguing bc wtf why do people care if you want to show some swimsuits it was classy and perfectly fine.
I love how you had to talk to yourself through things. I have to do that too. I’m ok with losing him if he goes back to how he was before. You’re really strong and he is stupid for not seeing how amazing you are. He sucks
@@HaleighMarkar My step dad was a dream the first year. Everything my mom could have possibly wanted for herself and us. Presents, dinners out, playing barbies w/ us and the works. Once the rose-colored glasses wore off and everything wasn't shiny and new and exciting any more he quickly revealed himself to be an emotionally abusive narcissist that was incredibly jealous of the close relationship we had with our mom. Your guy is probably super cool but the excitement of a first year relationship will cloud SO MUCH about the way you see him. That's just hormones and the way these things work for eeeevvvveryone.
@@HaleighMarkar I can see that. But, kids are so little, they will show affection to anyone who loves on them! I wanted every woman my dad dated to be my mom, because I was getting special attention. But it is confusing for them, no matter how you slice it. Mark MAY be a prince - he sounds like one - but you can’t know him well enough to be sure just yet. You’re still getting butterflies for him, and when they wear off, that’s when real deep trust and meaning is built. I know you won’t listen to me, but as someone who is just looking at things from 3,000 feet, I don’t want to see you go through any more avoidable pain. If Mark is the one, he’d still be the one in a year!
Parentified children
When you said you were just trying to cling to some sense of control, and that’s why you began to try to accept the bad things you’d been experiencing/we accept the love we think we deserve… YES. I know exactly what you mean! Three years ago I cried the most bitter tears of my life when my husband left me. I threw myself entirely into trying to save my marriage. I had to learn, just like you, what I deserved and how to set boundaries with myself. It was SO HARD! I journaled and cried myself to sleep every night, tried my hardest not to let my kids see my grief. That was the longest, hardest, most painful season of my life.
I’m now happily remarried to a fully formed adult who values me, has worked hard to keep and maintain my trust, and has loved me so well. He is so different from my ex! The maturity and communication - oh man, now I cant believe I ever lived in a marriage without it!
Keep on keeping on sister!
As your new relationship progresses please please respect your children's need to grieve their parents' marriage and intact family. There are times intentionally slowing down is right. This is one of those times. Just like facts don't control emotions, this is one of those times that facts, the newness of it all, do take precedence over the emotions of new love. Hugs!
The kids already call him daddy Mark. So.. I think that ship sailed.
@@christinawhitley5298 Oh wow. Relationships are great until they're not. And no one knows how it will go; it takes time and experience with that person. If the relationship is right, it will still be right in a year or two.
@@Lauren.629 I do think that her and Mark are a good pair.
I also believe the kids should probably start therapy. Just so they don't need therapy later.
Too late
This new relationship happening so fast, it's called a rebound. Please be VERY careful. These are ALWAYS temporary.
Actually not always. Just celebrated 21 years of marriage after a divorce.
People said the same to me. I’m in a happy healthier relationship after my divorce.
11 years later and it turns out that rebound assumption is not true lol
It's true the grass is usually not Greener on the other side. I found that out first hand but revenge is sweet when they come crawling back and then you can say Well I told you so but it's too late baby.. Lol
Dead cat bounce, falling in love too fast. Give it some time before committing. At least a year to get full seasonality, as people change with seasons.
My bro gave a great talk last week and said how grateful he is that God will give us a plan B if plan A fails, but also a plan C, D, E… He never gives up on us. You keep on doing what you feel is right and you’ll be ok.
It’s your life… Your happiness , no one walks in your shoes. Stay strong, continue to make good decisions. Will you continue to have a relationship with your in-laws ? Keeping your family in my thoughts and prayers
I just watched the Mormon Stories podcast about the CES letter. I converted in 1996, served a mission in 1998/1999. I can so relate to your struggles. I had a full life outside of the church prior and made all the right choices after my patriarchal blessing, married my first husband in the Temple. 4yrs later he decided to visit his family in Scotland and planned an affair. We never had sex. Ever. I decided to leave the church after much criticisms about whether I was a faithful wife. I'm now on my third marriage with an amazing Buddhist man. I don't regret leaving the church. I hope you don't mind my reaching out. I just felt impressed to reach out. Thank you for your strength and honesty. Ironically my life took me from MI to AZ in 2017. Best decision of my life. You have a beautiful family and am so happy you found your truth, your voice and joy in your life.
Do still believe CJ can become better for himself and for both Ireland and Xavier as a person and a father?
Yes! I so hope that will happen for them
The second commandment Christ gave us was to love your neighbor as you love thyself...
We often times forget the second part to that commandment. But I am glad to see that you are doing everything you can to take care of yourself in every way possible
I have a nagging feeling that we'd hear an entirely different tale from CJ.
Why is that feeling a nagging one? That’s just the nature of perspective. It needn’t be lamentable. Every story is personal; so, there are as many stories of any shared event as there are persons.
That is usually the case with people who got a divorce. The tale each would tell may be different 5 years down the line with perspective and having moved on.
She's a chick. It's obvious nothing he done was good enough
When you learn who you are, what you want, and what you don't want, you stand stronger in your set of personal values. God shifts things to place the proper people and things in your life to help support that. It starts with you - every time. And sometimes that requires making the wrong decisions to understand yourself better. Glad to hear you're coming into your own. Regardless of how things turn out, you'll be okay. So many blessings to you!
I hope you realize that when someone says it’s your tone of voice or attitude those are weak deflections to ignore whatever you’re telling them
Not necessarily. Intonation and non verbal communication are huge parts of communication. Those are important as well
If your ex ever wanted to come back into your life would you take him back? I really hope not! 😭
Not just saying this because he’s now your ex husband but I always got a very BAD vibe from him, the energy he put out was super arrogant and self centered. It always seemed like you loved him and he didn’t give any of the same energy back, I dunno but just glad you got away from him.
You are so well spoken. I’m so happy you found happiness and more importantly, a rock for you and your children. Supporting you beautiful!!
Willing to have an open marriage? There are some people who can do that and some people who can’t. I’m not married but me personally I would never be ok with that! You deserve so much better hun! Your a strong, beautiful, intelligent, brave young woman and mother and anyone who can’t see that, shame on them! I’m glad that you have found someone who treats you like the queen you are!
but who says an open marriage is less than? for some people its a Godsend (im just playing devils advocate).
@@veronicahaney6005 Saying an open marriage is a "Godsend" is blasphemous. No one ends up happy in that scenario. Trust me.
@@veronicahaney6005 no way
Open marriage is Satanic. No!
I’ve been watching you for years. Although I admired you pushing through for your marriage, I could see the pain and struggle in your eyes. Now you look healthier and there’s light in your eyes again.
Sorry that your marriage ended. Enjoyed listened to the Mormon Stories Podcast I too am exMormon
You look healthier in this video than I've ever seen you in any of your others. What ever you are doing, keep doing it. 👍
That’s Jesus you see.
May God bless you as you move forward.
Are you still using Seint? Can you do an update?
It's NOT cheating if you have sister wives like the OG original gangster's King David Abraham Joseph Smith and Brigham Young..
I'm a guy and divorced. This video was very insightful to me as I've had failed relationships. In the last relationship I was frequently used as a verbal punching bag. I couldn't do anything right. So, after being cursed at on Christmas day 2019 for at least half the day (and I got her everything she asked for), I packed everything I owned that would fit in my car and left the next day. I know there are good women out there, but it's very hard to know. It's not like you can check out a list of bad ones and see if the one you're dating is on the list. At 57 it's probably moot to try again. Pretty happy now anyway. Your bf is a lucky/blessed guy! God bless you both.
My uncle thought the same after a horrible marriage. He started dating my aunt 5 years ago and they both said they’d never get married again. They were happy to find someone who felt the same. Then they fell in love and my uncle just couldn’t not propose. He got married last year at 62. It’s never too late so if you meet someone you can see a future with give it a shot. ❤️
It's not too late! Keep the faith! Best wishes to you.
57 is young
What’s the glowing thing plugged into your wall behind your bed? It was distracting me the entire video. 😂 I saw your story on Mormon Stories, and I think you are a marvelous human.
I’m a convert and a member of the church I still go to church I’ve never been to the temple and I’m kind of having some second thoughts. It’s not really calling per se but our stake president formed a Older single adult committee How to get The older single adults back in church. And what I found out is there more older single adults missing out of my ward then there are members in my ward. Like 153. And when I started going around, there was only 38 had phone numbers. round the records or anything like that wasn’t up-to-date. And I’ve talk to older singles in the church. They spent so much time with the youth and young adults and forget about the older adult singles and I was in active for quite a few years, you wouldn’t wanna know. Back when I was a young single adult in a single ward. Nobody came to check on me when I quit going to church. I know I’m a God-fearing man I believe in God and Jesus Christ and the Holy Ghost. He saved my life too many times to know that he don’t have a plan for me. I know he does. What don’t know yet I guess I’ll find out when he’s ready. I wasn’t even baptized until I was 25 years old. Because I believe the priesthood is true in the church was true maybe not the membership or the leader ship I thought. But I just got done watching your 5 1/2 hour story. on Mormon stories, I don’t think I’ll ever have my registered number removed from the church. But I’m having second thoughts now about remaining in the church to and there’s a lot of churches out there that preach the gospel the Bible. and anybody that preaches God’s word, church or not is doing gods work. I know gthat will all be with our families. I asked my bishop a few weeks ago. And he’s a young man half my age. Maybe not Half he might be a little older than that not that I’m old 55 but when I got the records of this. Kind of gave me doubts. Maybe not in teachings or priesthood just the way it’s being ran if you know what I mean. Be a sister to me and God bless
Loyalty is the #1 Quality that Men look for in a Woman and visa versa. When that Trust is broken, it can’t be fixed.
That’s what women look for as well. However, I disagree that trust can’t be rebuilt. It can with radical honesty, transparency and accountability.
Becoming rebaptized is important. Takes longer to get the Mormonism out of the person than to get the person out of Mormonism.
Good luck but to most people you are moving rather fast to be so serious
Glad you were able to lean on God, God is good.
I love Way Maker. It’s my jam. Yeah. Praise Jesus.
I think i got 3 seconds into your video. People define their problems as their identity as a set of certain problems that can't be easily solved. Although, you yourself can resolve them? Almost as if it was someone else's problem in the first place and if you can see that you can laugh yourself silly!
@@peterolamilekan8071 I'm proud of you. "Yourself"
I love being lds but let’s not disrespect her choices and her style of moving on. That’s just not cool.
Please post videos more frequently
How do you claim to "know" things now?
I’m sure it’s as qualified as anything…. But at least know what she “knows” is coming from her own experience more deeply now rather than just pushed down from institutions.
We all know what we know.
@@kristinesharp6286 we don't know, what we don't know
I missed your videos! Please post more!
Can you find me an older version of you?
18:21 Tryna be serious but it looks like your left arm was cut off he here. The lighting there is weird and I got a chuckle out of this. Great video nonetheless!
Infidelity as in cheating or are you talking about porn?
No I’m not referring to his viewing porn as cheating, although many would still classify it as cheating since you’re lusting after another. There are other things that happened.
@@HaleighMarkar I am happy for you.
But don't you see don't you understand he did make a way, he made a way for you both to go your separate ways I'm Mormon also I just came back to the church after being out for 22 years I've been back in 4 now and I came back because at this time it was for me not for my ex-husband.... you see heavenly father said he would never make you go through anything that he wasn't going to bring you through ...I have been watching you for quite some time... I'm a lot older than you... I think I have children all my children are older than you but heavenly father knows when your heart is hurting and the best thing to do sometimes it's just say I tried and it's okay to walk away and to start something new the fact is that you're still Christian you're still seeking heavenly Father you haven't blocked heavenly Father out of your life you blocked pain of a spouse that didn't want you, I know you have faith and I know it's hard but you're doing the right thing and I'm proud of you for being able to do it and showing your children that you don't have to be together as Mom and Dad to be there for them sometimes being apart is the best for them. ❤️☺️
Go on an ayahuasca retreat or experience. It’ll break you out of your delusion. Good luck!
How do I dm?
She said the same when she met her husband.
Wait! What if: he leaves the church too? He's got fidelity problems!!!! He has left the church!!
Hi Haleigh, Thanks for not creating anti-LDS literature on your own platform. You are a very special, thoughtful, sincere woman and its humbling to witness your spiritual qualities. You've said some things that ring true with me, such as the imposition of questioning intimate relations in marriage, the caffeine debate (i.e. soda Vs coffee) and a few other issues. Yes, the church isn't perfect and letters written by the first presidency to the bishops have stated that the "First presidency" deems oral sex as an impure practice, but not specifically as divine revelation or a commandment in origin. It's obvious that you have a deep sense of who you are in the gospel and that issues arising from your perception of faults in the leadership have taken precedence over your personal spiritual development. I hope that you will be decisive in your commitment to the gospel that you know in your heart, and not walk the fence, allowing those with nefarious agendas to sway you from the promises and blessings of your covenant with Christ. FYI-John Dehlin was excommunicated for sexual impropriety and openly criticizing the Church's moral intolerance of "homosexuality". He uses his professional training in psychology to manipulate and decouple church members struggling in faith crises. It says alot about who he really is. Also, many who support you by stating that they are LDS apostates are in fact lying. There are many here from competing doctrines, LGBTQ and radical feminists who hate the LDS Church for its uncompromising adherence to the highest form of morality in a time of great sin in the world. I pray that you will turn away from those who have nefarious agendas and revert your heart instead to Christ, who truly loves you eternally. I will open a door and all you have to do is walk through it. May peace be upon you.
So sad. In the wedding vows it says "in good times and bad" and so many want an easy exit when it gets bad and forgets their vows. If you listen to those who've been married for 40, 50, 60 years they will admit it was never always good times but they worked through it. Young people today just give up because divorce has been made so easy, quick and efficient.
Go back and watch some of her older videos. It was a toxic relationship for years and years. It's better for both of them and their kids this way.
@@arethamongue5447 if you go back and watch her talk about her other relationships she said all of them were toxic too. who's the common denominator?
The common denominator was a person who was extremely insecure and had anxious attachment and was desperate for love and validation. So I found it from the wrong sources. I am not that person anymore 👍🏼
@@HaleighMarkar anxious attachment? you just found the perfect love as soon as you left your husband ! lol big change
@@HaleighMarkar I am far from perfect and I make stupid decisions. I've watched a couple of your videos. You seem like a very nice person but are searching outside yourself for acceptance and love. Men aren't going to give that to you you got to get yourself. As you said you're not that person anymore I hope that's true.
Never get married and you don’t have to worry about the hassle.
You didn't understand the truth from God that there are only givers and takers. Most people are takers and it's always been that way. I'm glad now you are beginning to learn more of Christ's wisdom on human character. The soil types are from God. We are in the last days and "the difficult times would come".... Sk˜
Did you say, “you bet your butt it helped?” That’s not something I can afford, coming from the land of Flat Backers. 😅
Is that a new bed? 🙂
Yes, she gave the other one to CJ. I asked lol
@@mommyofthree8271 thank you
SLAVA UKRAINE My father was a CJ and my mother was you.I have no kids and never been married. I have been looking for a hormonal, jealous, complaining, wife who wants 13 children maybe 3(kidding) that is constantly on her period, but would be my perfect just like you are. Why can I not find a woman like you who would do anything for our marriage and family to stay together. I want a confident woman like you, but I also am a confident man. I would kneel to her and dream to make her happy. I am happy you are happy and I hope you are forever happy. I am jealous as hell and I just want you to know if I am alive you also have one man who from the heart soul and my brain wants you and your kids to be happy and feel loved. I also pray and hope your new partner feels the same. I would always support you in anything. I will also love you forever. I am also sure we will never meet. God bless you and your family. Lonely and awake looking for a wife and family to make happy. I would have done anything to have you in my life. SLAVA HEROYI
I'm anti divorce. Sex before marriage 💑 is a big NO in my book. Open marriage is of Satan!!!!!
I am in a comedic relationship and we only have social intercourse on Sundays. My girlfriend said to me that she has never seen an Australian cockatoo.
To tell you the truth I wouldn’t even consider someone with the name CJ. The name it’s sound and abbreviation is just annoying to me. I hate it.
hahahhahah this is wild.
You bash your previous church and now your husband because it’s all about me me me smh
Thank you so much for everything Haleigh, you have taught me so much about Mormonism and it’s history. I sent you a request on Instagram and a message. I hope we can keep in touch as a fellow a Christian myself. I love sharing the gospel and talking about the theology.