Mom Died 5 Months Ago and Dad’s Already Remarrying!
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- čas přidán 8. 09. 2024
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My mom died from cancer and my dad remarried 3 weeks later, it destroyed my whole family.
Unbelievable. So sorry this happened.
Thats very hard to cope with. Life is difficult wish you the best remember men are weak they can't be alone.
There’s no way this is true
wow thats a shocker, pretty bad. did u all tell him how upset you were? was the 2nd one a gold digger?
Three weeks later?! That’s not even a month
She hit the nail on the head when she said he had never lived alone and never had to take care of himself. That's the problem. Its not even loneliness. He wants a caregiver. He could get therapy first and not bring that trauma into the next relationship.
Yeah, hence the rush. Guy is out of shirts :/
What if he can take care of himself but wants/needs companionship?
Can you snuggle with a caregiver? Can you have inside jokes and that kind of intimacy without going to jail? Give me a freaking break! They need a caregiver because he's always lived alone. Give me a break!!!
That’s insulting. Does no one think about how the guy might feel? Anyone? He watched his wife slowly become irretrievably paralyzed and doomed in the slowest way by one of the world’s worst diseases. Can we have one second of grace for a man that can’t bear living in that silence for the feelings of physically absent adult kids?
Sometimes, frail people can’t take anymore for everyone else, for years at a time, as they have been doing. People have a breaking point. Not one person has mentioned the awful trauma that only he lived 24/7, for years.
My father topped that. For context: we live in germany but we are turks. My mom died on February 15th when I was 16, my brother 10 years old. My father remarried April 27th a woman he met February 20th in turkey when we brought our mom back to bury her home in her village. That´s 20 years ago and I´m still disgusted by him and his actions.
Babanı tebrik ederim bir saniye boş durmamış
I would be disgusted too if my father behaved like that, I'm sorry.
@@dilaranur-iu8vn Tam bir müslüman türk erkegi.
My mom waited four months after my dad died. Hard to understand some people.
Oh boy was ne Story😅 Da du Türke bist, gehe ich davon aus, dass du seine Entscheidung nicht infrage stellen durftest?
My Dad did the same after my mom passed. I was a teen, and my Dad just moved on, married a new woman, and started a new family with her. I moved out. I tried to be a part of his new family for 20 years, but he and his new wife kept me at arms length. I think I reminded my Dad of my mom and he didnt want to deal with the pain of losing her. His new wife wanted him all to herself, and the new children they had together was in her words "her family, not mine".
I now do not talk my Dad. It was finally better to cut him off, instead of seeking his love that he wouldnt give me.
❤
I sent a link to a study you might find interesting. It’s about how a father’s early remarriage affects daughters. I found this when my own dad remarried right after my mom died.
I’m so sorry for what you have been through. You deserved a father who would grieve with you and offer you support - you needed a father - period. I’m sorry you lost your father too.
Your words mean so much, thank you for acknowledging both losses! It was so hard to understand for so long, especially since he denied any wrong doing. I am also so sorry you lost your Mom, and then your Dad just moved on quickly. It is the most devastating feeling of abandonment and then lonely grief. Thank you for sending the info too!
Same here after my parents divorced my Dad remarried 3 months later and told me and my 2 sisters he has a "new family"
We've been estranged ever since
I was 14 when they divorced I'm 45 now
@@me.i.said.it. ❤️🦋
Many years ago my pastor wife died they had been married almost 40 yrs. His wife knew she was dying and told me he would be remarried in less than a year . He was remarried in six months . The woman he married was a horrible childish mean crazy lady. He was miserable for the next 23 years until he died. Men take your time and grieve. Hire a maid and chill for awhile !
My friend told me that if she died her husband would have to find a wife during the funeral so he would have someone to cook dinner. We laughed a lot but she meant it. Guess what! She died 3 years ago and he has not remarried (surprise to me).
They not gonna hire a maid because they want the woman’s labor to be free hence why they marry their wife is only a caregiver to them and nothing more
@@lindap.p.1337 - She could joke about it b/c she knew he wouldn't do it.
My aunts husband died of cancer 2 years ago. Shes 76 going blind has had men calling her wanting to see if she misses being a housemaid and is lonely. She knows all they want is a servant and to maybe snatch up her property. I do everything for her. Drive her everywhere, taking her on vacation help her with anything around the house. Women have to help eachother
You got it right about housemaid and snatching property 😢Widows are at a higher risk… after a certain age, it’s not worth it for women to get married
Women have to help each other!!
Amen sister.
This!!..
💯 Think about it, Girls and women are expected to be caregivers from birth. They have to earn approval by being nice and sacrificing. Basically by kissing azzzz. Males literally spend their younger years getting respect just for being male and getting praised for being unkind and selfish. When they get old that swagger becomes a joke. Men know that if they don’t find a woman, their male friends aren’t gonna do 💩 for them b/c it’s not in their male culture to help others. They realize that without a woman they will literally die alone. Meanwhile, women realize it’s other women who are reliable and not husbands. Grown women realize there is literally no reason to mess with males unless they act as legit partners with substance and such males are rare.
My mom died almost ten years ago and the thing my dad always says whenever he tries dating is, "She's just not your mom. I miss my wife." It breaks by heart. I want my dad to find someone new, and he doesn't want to be alone anymore, but he can't let my mom go. He married her on his 25th birthday and they were married over half his life when she passed(my mom died 6 months before her 60th birthday & my dad was 7 1/2 years younger than my mom). I find it crazy when someone can move on so quickly.
The men that move on so quickly when their wives die or even before their wives die are the ones that never loved their wives. Your dad is a good man and loved your mom. I hope he finds someone soon. He deserves to be happy.
You should be counting your blessings your father isn’t a narcissist like this woman’s dad clearly is. Marrying 5 months later means you were likely having an affair before the person even passed away. I know that was the case in my grandmas friend’s situation. Man had his mistress with him at her funeral. He’d taken a life insurance plan out on her and took all her savings and their children got NOTHING. He and his wife moved into the DEAD WIVES HOUSE! Not their shared home, not his late wife had bought a beach home WITH HER OWN MONEY, and she wanted it to go to her daughter, the dad took it for his new wife and now it’s going to his NEW WIVES KID!
@@I-hate-youtube797EXPERTS say that men who were happily married remarry soon after. Doesn't seem right to me. My brother-in-law started dating less than a year after my sister died. They were married 54 years!
@22lyric marriage is very comfortable for men, and I suspect that they aren't really picky once they get old.
My step dad too
It is amazing how common this is!!! My best friend’s dad did the same thing. Was married 20+ years, wife died of cancer, was remarried to a woman FROM CHURCH on the one year anniversary of burying his wife. And 2nd wife has basically cut out his kids, my friend and her brother. Everything is about HER kids, HER grandkids. My friend and her brother are not welcome in “her” house. It’s so sick.
Sad
A woman from CHURCH. Wondering what church that is.
Obviously not a real Christian. Just a church goer. Hearer only. @@SH-pm3dm
Your saying my story.
The dad is responsible for not stepping in, and having his family included. He is the guilty one here.
This man, like many men in his situation, quickly found a solution to the problems that arose when he lost his personal assistant, maid, cook, etc.
Spoken like a true feminist
No it's the truth. Seen it first hand.
@@Irunwithscissors63it’s easy to name call isn’t it?
@@wnm8888 name calling? I thought feminism is what women attained to these days?
She obviously thinks men see women as maids, cooks etc so I wouldn’t have thought it as ‘name calling’.
I said “many men,” not all. Proud to be a feminist.
There’s a saying , you are free to choose , but you are not free from the consequence of your choice .
This. This is the problem MOST of the time. People want the freedom without the consequences that may occur after the fact.
Well said! I'll remember that.
Watch her be a devil he’s marrying !! Karma !!
He's marrying a woman he has only known for 3 months, 5 months after his wife died, and is deliberately lying to his daughter to exclude her from the wedding. He has decided that as well as losing her mother, his only child will also lose her father.
His behaviour is cruel, cowardly and entirely selfish. He's probably excluding her because having to face her will only confirm to him that's what he's doing in rushing into marriage is weak, foolish and wrong. His daughter is the mirror he can't bear to look in.
💯
Boom!
at what point is a man allowed to live for himself again after raising children, supporting a family, and burying a wife. how about leave him the fock alone and let him live the rest of his life the way he wants.
all of your hate an ire are for what, his daughters effing feelings, SHES AN ADULT, GET THE FOCK OVER IT
Agreed. I would add "fearful" to your list. He's never lived by himself and taken care of himself (in all ways probably including emotionally?) and so he was probably terrified. INstead of taking it step by step, he grabbed at the first straw that came by. Which is sad. However, I also want to call out the father's new wife. What kind of a woman moves in on a man who's lost his wife just 2 months prior (when they met) and agrees to MARRY him after just knowing him for 3 months...? What kind of a woman is OK with NOT inviting your future husband's only child to the wedding? HUGE red flags all over the place. She didn't respect his grieving process, didn't respect the daughter and other relatives and friends of the wife who's passed by giving it some time before going all in. SHE sounds incredibly selfish and cruel to me, like a woman who needs a man like a leech needs a host.
I hope the daughter reads your message 🙏🌷 exactly on point.
When my mom had a stroke, my dad went behind her back and tried to place her permanently in the nursing home. He didn't want her to come home and I found out about it when he couldn't do that because he didn't have enough money. He would just flirt with the caregivers in front of my mother and started becoming one of the caregivers sugar daddy, and wasted all his money on her. Until she got fired. Meanwhile, all the money was gone and my mom didn't get the proper care until the doctor put her in the nursing home till she died.
I guess he thought she was gonna die before him. And he wanted to enjoy life but he cut dementia and he died before her about eight months earlier.
5o😊😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😢😊😮⁵😊606😮
It's pathetic... isn't? My father have a similar story...
You have had such a difficult time with your father while your mother had the stroke. You have had a tough time. I can never understand how 44 or 53 year old men would talk about which of their daughters friend was good looking in front of their daughters friends and their own partner. How these elderly middle age men would think the teenagers would be interested in them. The ego of these men.
My grandfather passed when i was about 14, and my Nana was so sad. She met up with an old school friend who had lost his wife several years earlier. They were both lonely. Nana asked every one of their grandchildren if it would be ok if she married him. We all said if it makes you happy, Nan. They were married for about 30+ years before we lost her at nearly 90, and he was suffering from early stages of dementia. They are both gone now, but he made her very happy for the rest of their lives. They were both buried with their respective 1st spouses.
That’s respectable of them both. Biblical approach
Reminds me of Dog the Bounty Hunter, how Beth told him he could date whoever he wanted but never remarry because she wanted to be his last wife… he promised and said he could never marry another woman… he started dating within months of Beth passing and married the woman in no time and his kids weren’t at his wedding.
Some men just can’t function without a woman running the house, they need a mommy to baby them and tell them what to do.
I didn’t know he remarried this is the worst news I’ve received in a while
@@evankimes6587
Oh I’m sorry.
Yes, he remarried. I was very disappointed too.
I’m sure you can find info on it here on CZcams.
Most men don’t. Sounds like the fellas have ran through you like Seattle Slew and you’re expressing your hurt in generalization rather then taking accountability that you chose bad. But I mean yea grown men definitely want a mommy to build a life with
@@stevendavis5095
Im not hurt at all, I’ve been with the same guy, my high school sweetheart, happily married for 28 years this August.
It’s just my observation of a lot of relationships I’ve seen.
You suuuure are triggered though 🤭🤭🤭😂🤣😂🤣, you must be the exact kind of guy I was talking about… I’m sure you’ll pretend that’s not the case, but you and I (as well as everyone who reads your comment and sees how triggered and defensive you are) will know the truth.
Now run along, go ask your mommy wife to give you cuddles and make it all better.
@@The.Hawaiian.Kingdom not the slightest I just hate seeing women who choose wrong bash men. But I mean yea my mommy wife will definitely give me cuddles and make me feel better while your husband longs for the days that he would be able to wrap his arms around you to give you a hug and he not be stopped half way because you think that big is beautiful lmao. I feel sorry for your husband. He obviously deserves better.
I’ve seen this before. The dad moves on all giddy and in love, happy as a clam and showing lots of affection he hadn’t shown the mom. So the kids are left grieving and feel abandoned, especially because the dad doesn’t want to hear the sadness the kids are going through. They’ve said they feel like they lose both parents with double the grief, which causes tons of hurt the dad just ignores because he’s giddy in love. As the saying goes when a spouse dies, “Women process; men replace.”
That old saying is a load of bs sorry.
And the father needs to live his life too.
A friend of my mom passed away unexpectedly. The friend was married in 1963. Two months after her death, the husband had found a new lady. He gave away all his wife's clothes within a couple weeks after she died.
@@AGirlNamedVan When dad has minor kids under his roof, his children’s lives should come first.
@Van that's what they should tell him when he needs someone to wash his butt when he is dying. Sorry dad , ya know I gotta live my life. Hope you can take care of that. Byeee!!!
When my aunt died, my uncle remarried within a few months. My cousin was so angry. She said that the minute my aunt died, the “casserole brigade” began, a parade of widows smelling fresh meat! I was so glad that my dad passed before my mom did. The assisted living facility they were living in was full of widows and they were eyeing my dad! 😅 Also, when my uncle died, his estate went to his new wife as the surviving spouse and when she passed, it went to her children, not to my cousins. Late in life remarriage needs to take this into account.
My grandfather had that, they way he stopped it was by telling them that if he married again it would be a young , beautiful woman, not an old bag, LOL. True story!
@@americangirl8970 LOL! That is awesome1!! 😂😂😂😂
Some people are just wired to be a couple while on earth. Maybe they should talk about it with each other before one of them dies, and make sure their children are treated fairly should one of them remarry.
@@betsylongoria8916 Logic goes out the window with these people, they are under the spell of a Jezebel.
My grandpa lived on his own for nearly 20 years after my grandma died. He filled his time with charity work. You don't need to dive immediately back into a relationship. And it often tears the family apart when you do.
Ahh but a boy absolutely needs that especially when he never learned to live on his own and his wife also had the role of mommy who took care of him.
@@elenabob4953boy ? You mean man. No need to infantilise adults.
My daddy never remarried. Within a year he started to have signs of Alzheimer's disease. I came home to care for him.
my mom got dementia 2 years after my dad died so i get it
Ive met men like this who are terrified of being alone and always have to be married. Ive seen them put these new spouses ahead of their own children. Its really sad
Some women can’t be alone either! 😂
@@janetrussell2908And some go after any option quite aggressively.
Co-dependency lifelong. The caller sounds a lot healthier than her father.
It's more than being afraid of being alone. He clearly is an incompetent adult and views wives as maids... he cant even feed himself si he went out looking for hist next maid
I've seen that all my life. My dad always put his girlfriends first before me. My father is on Wife #4, but I've met many many girlfriends too.
"he's probably hungry too" took me out🤣🤣🤣
I’m friends with this elderly gentleman who sings with me for our church choir. He was married to his wife since they were 18 and five kids and eleven grand kids later and over 40 years of marriage she died from a stroke. I swear after she died I barely saw him and when I finally did he lost like A LOT of weight and just looked as if he was buried above ground if that makes sense like he had nothing to live for. His kids all were in other states. I swear I continued to pray for him because he was just wasting away from his grief
Sad that his kids didn’t move him with them. Children should not move away from home to begin with. But if you do, it should be a family move.
@@Foxie770 yeah I was so pissed when I found his kids haven’t visited or called since the wake… COME ON! your dad just lost the love of his life, your mom, and now he’s all alone by himself. If you can’t move or visit at the very least give him a call every couple of days just to talk to him!
When my grandpa died, my dad visited sometimes and called all the time to check up on my grandma because she lost the love of her life, my grandpa and my father’s dad, who had been at her side just as long as this guy.
These men seek nannies for themselves.
Absolutely.
Yeah and dumbass women are so desperate to be wifed, they would marry the frog before turning into a prince. And what they end up with? Yeah. The fucking frog.
Ya and these women seek human atms
@JoRonnamo someone has to sponsor the strong independent women who pay other people to do all the work husbands usually do.
To be fair, when this happens to older women they are crying and terrified that they have to start running the household via accounts, insurance, policies everywhere. They are utterly overwhelmed and don't now where to even start.
In marriage, we take care of each other in certain ways, FOR DECADES. DECADES UPON DECADES. So, you don't need to belittle him. You don't need to belittle her. They play roles which *they decide on*. Not everyone lives life doing literally everything for themselves. They divide and conquer. And that's worthy of empathy and respect.
My husband worked years ago as a nursery manager and there was this one guy who's wife was really sick and he would often ask him how is she doing. One day out of the blue he told him that he introduced his girlfriend to his wife while she was on her death bed. Not long afterwards he confided in him telling him that his new wife is completely insane and have frequent rage fits, asking him for advice. He showed him the scratch marks and bruises. No sympathy man, absolutely no sympathy.
We lost my mum 7 yrs ago and my dad still talks about her every single day, he misses her terribly 💔
When my grandma died, at the funeral my grandfather asked for a moment, he kneeled down at the grave while it was still open and whispered to her, dont be afraid I am coming soon to you. He was healthy and strong like rock, but he became ill and passed away after 3 years. It's the sadness, and the desire to go to her soon that killed him. RIP the greatest man I have ever known ❤
My gramps was the best man I knew ever!
A real man. Much respect
Its not unheard of that the man doesn't wait until the wife is cold in the grave before he replaces her with another woman 😢
It's also not unheard of that single older ladies bounce on new widowers who are lonely, confused and grieving, they don'tknow what hit them. The pickings are slim for the ladies so they go for it, if not to be a wife, then a girlfriend. Seen it happen more times than I care to count.
My mom was a private care nurse and she cared for a lot of terminally ill women. She said the majority of husbands had girlfriends and even brought them to the home as a "friend" with the wife there.
That's what usually happens. They either cheat or leave their wives altogether.
@@jenniferblake3296Women cheat more than men. Look online and it's women selling themselves on only fools and Instagram by using their bodies for validation and attention. Most men are good honest men that work hard and build the world. It is the opposite for women. Women move on faster than men. That is a fact.
Disgusting and ugly. The men have no heart.
That’s absurd
Oh god that’s even worse. Moving on from their spouse while they were still alive. 😢
At that point no one would believe any man who said they really loved and respected their wife who recently passed and he quickly moves on. His actions clearly show that he viewed his wife as a convenience, nothing more.
And the new wife and her children get everything when he dies and his original child gets nothing.
I have seen that...
Children are not entitled to anything a parent has worked for. I never understood why grown kids think they are???? I expect nothing from my parents when they pass on. In fact, I hope they blow it all on living a good life and travelling or whatever else takes their fancy. It's their money to do with whatever they want and it's their prerogative to leave it to whomever they want.
Not in Europe where naturally get 50% from whatever the mother was entitled to (and that includes the goods squired while the parents have been together).
@@TinyDancerOI am sure her mom is very happy to see that her husband care nothing about her family and yes children are entitled to to the parents things
@@TinyDancerOas you manage to completely miss the point
A woman in our church was dying of cancer. The first thing I noticed was that her husband began to sit behind her in a different pew or wander to the back of the church. I thought it was weird but whatever. She died. The dad had his first date the day after he buried his wife and he remarried within three months to a woman that also attended our church. He left his adult kids and moved from Washington state to Florida with his new wife. The dad will occasionally call his kids but his kids no longer care about him.
There’s a lot of men who are simply a POS!
My dad was like this and got the embarrassment he deserved!
Of course.
Ya'll keep talking bout the man who suddenly remarries to a womam from church. What about the woman, talk to the pastor, maybe the woman is a gold digger, and the pastor can set them straight. Don't assume the woman is Godly just because she goes to church.
He had been seeing this other woman while the wife was sick.
Yes I agree. This happened to 2 of my girlfriend's parents. Both moms died of cancer and after they were buried, both dad's brought their girlfriends around. It's disturbing.
@@ConstantlyRepeatingMyself And I bet the widowers had good pensions because older women are like sharks and they don't marry impoverished men for their personalities, which sounds like this woman's father has some deficiencies.
It could have been worse. My best friend’s dad brought his girlfriend to the funeral.
Bingo!
Most definitely.
He's getting married to someone he's only known for three months? He will reconnect with his daughter when he's broke and divorced.
Who says he’s only known her for 3 months? They go to the same church, they’ve probably known each other for years, if not decades
He was already seeing this woman and getting fed !!
The man was hungry
Not necessarily. When a person is dying slowly (ALS), much of the pain of grief occurs prior to death. I wouldn't advise anyone marry that quickly, but perhaps enduring the loss makes a person realize life is short and having a partner brings joy and comfort.
You do not know that. I know some men who married a few months after the passing of their wives. Men hate being alone.
They were not messing around.
That's what I thought too.
@eurekahope5310 He knew her from church. Maybe she was paying him attention already during her illness, he may have been clueless. There are more single women than men in older age groups so every opportunity counts.
I feel bad for her that her father isn't communicating with her. I don't think it's dramatic of her to be hurt that her father is making a major life change and has been hiding it from her. I want my mother to get remarried, but I would absolutely be hurt if she hid it from me and changed her wedding date to not include me and didnt even tell me.
Same!! So sad
I have to wonder why he doesn't feel safe talking to her. Is it her way or the highway when its not really her call at all. Demanding someone move their wedding to accommodate you smells a bit of narcissism. I think there is more here that should have been explored.
@ZuitVideos She sounds pretty reasonable though - she even said her husband's always right, for goodness sake! How many people do you know who would be so generous to their spouse?
It's much more likely that the father knows he's making a big mistake in rushing into marriage, but he can dellude himself about it until he actually has to face his daughter. He knows that she knows this is all wrong of him, and so he's keeping her away because he's a coward and is ashamed of how he's choosing to behave in grief. Seeing her would be like having to look in the mirror, and that's not something he wants to do.
@@ZuitVideos I wondered the same thing. She's his child so I don't blame him for being a little irritated that she's telling him; the parent, what's acceptable and what's not. If I were happy with someone new, I would feel annoyed if someone was trying to pull me down with them to feel sadness and heartach again when I just wanted to move forward and feel joy for once
@@lavienestpasunlongfleuvetr2559And we don't know what part his fiancée plays in all of this. She sounded OK but is it reality or facade.
The most tried and true thing my dad has ever taught me: Men can't be alone.
Correct. Many need a domestic slave to deal with their learnt helplessness and laziness.
And me only think about that thing between their legs
You mean… men from a completely different era. Men under 50 are nothing like the older generation
@@Ryan-cb1eino modern men included . 😂 this guy is marrying someone he known for 3 months 😂 he’s not in love he’s lonely , desperate for sex and wants a cook. Duh .
@katlee
My mom always says the same.
I saw my ex father in law do this also 5 months after my mother in law passed at 52 of lung cancer. We were all shocked but they seemed happy. Men just can’t seem to be alone. Women usually are fine by themselves.
My dad did the same thing. He kind of cut us out of his life and just wants us around when he absolutely has to. I just moved on... his loss. My dad told us he was done grieving and we needed to be done to. This was almost 14 years ago and our relationship has never been the same. We occasionally get together, but he has more to do with her family and grandkids. We are like acquaintances.
I'm so sorry. You're right - it's his loss.
This is why I sometimes regret getting married. Men only treat us like we're disposable and replaceable items of service
I get that older widowers have less life left. I do. But marrying months after buring your spouse makes it seem like they see women as appliances.
@@lucindabreeding Some men do.
@@anthill1510most men see women as objects. It’s actually been studied and the way a man’s brain works shows they see women as objects. It’s wild.
@@Black_Samurai-fish Yeah, I remember that there was a study showing that for a lot of men the same activation in the brain happens when they are shown a naked woman as there happens when you show them tools. I just realize that I kind of forgot that study to be able to move on in life and interact with men without wantig to kill them. Happens periodically with knowledge like that.
@@anthill1510 yup, that study also shows that they see women as parts and not as a whole person.
I wonder if anyone grieving is thinking clearly. The advice I got, was try not to make any major decisions for the first year, unless absolutely necessary. As a widow, I am lonely, too, but I wouldn’t marry right away. I need to process everything and grieve my loss.
Oh, my goodness! You are telling my story. The difference here is that my mom told me that if something happened to her first, he would be married within 6 months. It happened almost exactly in that time frame. He also couldn’t understand why I was so upset. I didn’t get to mourn my mother, either. Long story short, the lady was a blessing. My dad was a needy man who could not be alone. She filled that empty spot. I came to love and appreciate her. A part of me is still resentful of my dad, though.
Some of the anti woman comments are so weird. We ALL know that men remarry quickly, just like your mom did. I tell my husband I could never remarry but that he doesn't have a choice lol. That man can't be alone.
It's a very good point.. I was glad my ex remarried... Save my children from feeling that they needed to look after him, after he had made it clear that he didn't want them
She’s not alone. A lot of us get to experience this type of dumpster fire. It’s ridiculous and cruel.
Lonely after 5 months? After your spouse just died? Most people are barely functioning let alone thinking about remarriage.
Research what ALS is and you will see it was longer than 10 months. The caller even said her mother had issues for years before. He was probably a lonely caregiver for years.
I've cried for a lost dog longer than he waited.
@@crewboy23 Same exact thing happened with my grandpa. He was my grandma’s caretaker for 10+ years, she had a bad case of Alzheimer’s. She couldn’t even recognize him. He was effectively by himself for many years and had no life outside of taking care of her. Everybody wanted him to find a partner, they understood the situation and just wanted the best for him. He finally found a partner but didn’t actually remarry .
@@BirdDogey1The truth is, he probably waited a lot longer than 5 months. With some diseases, it’s like you have lost them well before they actually passed.
@@Ryan-cb1ei That is ideal, find a partner , but don't marry. Marriage is for young people.
Here's a little story. 20 years ago, at age 73, my dad met a younger woman and they started dating. After some time she started talking about marriage, which his attorney advised against. It would have been his fourth marriage btw, the girlfriend wasn't working and was living exclusively off alimony from her first marriage, and even though she said she would take care of him as he aged, there were a lot of problems in the relationship. I know this because he would frequently call me to ask my advice about these problems. Anyways, fast forward to six years ago, they're still dating but she's now dying of ALS. He also has numerous health conditions and is losing his mobility. Then he undergoes a health and crisis and guess who steps in, overnight, to start managing his entire life.... it wasn't his much younger bed-ridden wannabe wife who told him she would take care of him. It was me, his 35-year-old daughter who his girlfriend was often rude to. And I continued ro manage his health care and finances until he died at 93 a couple months ago. She died shortly after his crisis. Make of this what you will as it pertains to elderly men focusing on women rather than family.
So you took care of him and in return got all of his estate? He sounds like a terrible person… how dare he use you like that… How selfless of you 😂
Edit: Also how is she supposed to take care of him if she is bed ridden as you mentioned? Your post clearly shows the complete opposite of what you are trying to claim and instead shows you as the other girl you’re trying to make look bad. Why would you complain about his girlfriend being bed ridden and didn’t get a penny out of it. Sounds like she cared about him a lot more then others complaining they helped him for his money..
It is terrifying to grow old alone.
My mother's mother died and my mom was reading the newspaper one day and she saw the marriage license for her father in the newspaper.
Noooooo.....
That's brutal.
Yikes!
Timeline??? The week, month, year after?
Oh no that’s low!
I loved how he stopped and asked for the mums name instead of moving on or just going straight to the I'm sorry to hear that....really considerate
Three years ago I found out via text message that my dad got married a couple days before. Sometimes parents just don't cherish their own children. I tried so hard to put something of a relationship together but it was endless emotional abuse and gaslighting. I grieved the loss of what should have been and went no contact to protect my peace.
No one is bringing up the elephant in the room: Dad wants the sex.
When she said that it was like he had a new family and was leaving her in the past that stung. My grandfather started dating a woman shortly after my grandmother passed; we were kind of shocked and hurt at first but quickly accepted it because she made him happy. But over the years, he’s become less and less involved until he’s now basically cut us out of his life with no explanation. We used to share every holiday, special occasion, and major life event with him, and now he won’t give us the time of day because he’s moved on to a new family unit. It sucks.
My grandfather did that. As soon as he married her, we were dropped like a hot potato.
It sounds like he didn’t want to face his grief and the original family would be a reminder of her
@@lychee_tea_time Thats the pollyanna version, the truth is the new spouse doesn’t want the reminder
Typically the woman takes over management of family ties and the man accompanies her.. So his biological family is secondary or dropped completely
I agree, it's about getting his needs met. Men don't want to do laundry, cook, etc. Not all men, but many.
It’s 2024, only men above 50/60 are like that. And don’t feel so bad, us men get crap with these women too
some people get married just to be married. there is nothing wrong with being married but it is neither an achievement nor obligation
Definitely an achievement, it’s not easy
@@gmarie3053 never said it was easy, but married people are no more accomplished than unmarried people. getting a black belt in a martial art is an achievement, being a bride or groom is merely an event
Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.
Hebrews 13:4
@@zeal4god402 i never understood why God would make sex pleasurable to all, mentally and physically beneficial to all, etc... and restrict it to married people knowing full well it is mathematically and logistically impossible for everyone to marry. if you never marry are you supposed to die a virgin? why would God be prejudiced against people who do not want to marry or never have the opportunity?
@@eatpigsnotRestrictions protect. Think of your skin, traffic signs, passwords, encryption codes, window/doors to your house etc. Whoever is in a relationship having sex and living together, what's stopping them from official marriage recognized by the country besides their personal reservations? Thinking in an ancient and primitive way, marriage didn't always involve a ceremony, humans eventually added that. Marriage was a vow to God between the man and woman to be exclusive to one another. Marriage doesn't need to cost money, just go to the court, but people truly in love will not mind being legally binded to each other. As it pertains to prenuptials, whether or not the couple decides to do it, I don't perceive a moral flaw in choosing either path, that's between them, something like a marriage-insurance. As the years go by, a spouse could take a turn for the worse and do something we thought they would never do.
We lost my Dad 11 years ago to leukaemia when he was 53 and my Mum was 49. She has never dated and has no desire to. My brother and I have encouraged her to date, she created a dating profile with my help but has never gone on it. My brother and I would love for her to meet someone because she is still so young in age and in spirit and has alot to offer, but why would she when she spent 25 years with her soul mate?! Nobody will ever come close to my Dad and we all know that, but companionship can be great. I simply cannot imagine having a parent move on so quickly. I would be SO angry and pissed, its disrespectful to all those years spent together. I dont think I could ever forgive a parent for that.
Your mom knows all most men want is a housemaid. If she found a good men once that great because they only make up about 3% of men.
Yeah, it depends on many, many factors. Some people remarry some don’t whether they were happy or not in that relationship. My grandpa didn’t physically remarry but has a partner, it just wouldn’t make sense for him to go 20+ years (since his wife passed) with his retirement money and everything to spend it by himself. It’s not like his kids and grandkids spend so much time with him either, so he clearly would have had some un-met emotional and relationship needs. He’s been with his partner for the past 15 years and everyone understands and wanted that for him.
Not just disrespectful to your spouse but also showing zero concern for your adult children. At least have the decency to give them time to mourn. And maybe dad isn't right in his head, but then the girlfriend is, and has zero concern for his family. How can she have any relationship with this woman?
Women grieve, men remarry.
Or …women mourn, men replace
men grieve too stop making these lies
So true 👍🏻
@@Tina-gv9dmtruth
You had a genius moment!
I’m an ALS widow. 14 months now. I can’t imagine remarrying.
Are you a woman? If so, that might be why you can’t imagine it. Men are far more self-centred and self-serving. Also, sorry for your loss.
WOW- I can’t get over how many are posting their loved one died from ALS. As a former hospital & nursing home nurse, I had no idea the statistics were so high on Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (Lou Gehrig’s Disease). I worked as a nurse in FLORIDA, so you’d think ALS was more prominent in my hospital career after reading of so many posters here with ALS loved ones!
@@jangrosemartindale8740 Of course it takes a couple of years for epidemiological data from any given year to be published, but I would be astounded to find that the incidence is doing anything but increasing.
Sorry for your loss ❤ Wishing you well
My mother was also got very sick after a year and half I was her caregiver for few years . Take care of yourself .
In Florida, this is not unusual. Working in a hospital & a nursing home, the fights I heard when the widow or widower announces an engagement or marriage- NUCLEAR.
you should write a book
Her dad probably knows that remarrying so quickly will raise eyebrows and impact his daughter, so he's simply avoiding the discomfort by being quiet about the nuptials.
What's the rush?
@@adamcraig1468 he’s 72 lol
@@lukabeast1150 lol yea but what's the point? Just hang our with her. It's not like hes in a rush to get her pregnant 🙄
Discomfort, maybe, more like guilt and shame. I'm certain that he's being controlled by the side piece, and he was probably seeing her throughout his wife's illness.
@@couchtater4621 same thing I'm thinking
When elderly people get married quickly like this, is it healthy? Feels like they trying to replace their spouse.
In men 60’s & up: Afraid to be alone, wife takes care of home, main cook, companion, no deeply close male friends they can lean on or discuss personal-intimate issues with.
@ jangrosemartindale8740
You nailed it , my mom passed away about 6 months ago and my dad got terrible advise imo from people from the church he goes to that he should start dating again. I told him he needed to wait at least a year to properly grieve , and he just told me i don’t understand how lonely he really is , it’s just a complicated situation all around
I once heard someone describe the epidemic of male loneliness as “Men are conditioned to think that the only intimate relationship they can have is a sexual/romantic one” and goddamn if that isn’t true.
@EmmaAndEmmaAndEmma true because friendships doesn't fulfill me at all.
I do think that outside of the loneliness and partnership aspect, which people have noted, there are practical reasons why older/traditional men tend to want a spouse quicker than women do. It sounds harsh and it is “replacing” in a sense but hear me out. If you think about traditional relationships, the things that a working man often give to a relationship often out-live them, whereas the things homemaking women provide often die with them. If a man who provides well for his wife dies, he leaves behind the money he earned, the house he provided, the assets that she needs to be taken care of. But a dead woman can’t continue to be a homemaker, and those jobs need to continue to get done after she’s gone. It’s not good or bad, it’s just practical that most women don’t have to immediately fill the provider role as a widow but most men must fill domestic duties as a widower. You might notice that women who are left with nothing and no nest egg will often remarry quickly. Women in the olden days before retirement was a standard thing did this too. Basically, anyone who needs to have their practical needs met by the opposite sex will seek out someone to do it, but it just so happens that men can often meet more of these needs after their death than women can. People will throw it at men in a negative way and say that they “lost their maid,” but that’s as unfair as claiming a widow remarried because she “lost her paycheck.” People spend 50+ years perfecting a role, it’s not easy to simply switch up in your mid-70s and if you need things done and can get companionship with it, it’s a win win for most people.
omg people here commenting without actually listening to the call. She is NOT saying he shouldn't remmary or that he should be alone or whatever else y'all commenting without context. She is upset that she is excluded again and again - even after talking to him about it.
He is a full grown man, it’s his decision alone to make. He does not need to consult her about anything
@@jeremyjeremy8795 yeah that's not how this works, don't have kids you sound like a kid yourself.
@@jeremyjeremy8795 and THAT you’re not wrong. He doesn’t need her daughter’s permission to do anything in life. 🤷🏼♂️. My dad, who’s been retired, asked if I was okay with him moving across the state to save money. I told him he’s free to do whatever he wants as he’s a grown man as am I.
@@jeremyjeremy8795 And she doesn't need to care when he is dying alone without her.
If he is inviting other people to his wedding he damn well does have to tell her and invite her! She needs to cut him off and never speak to him again. If he was telling nobody and inviting nobody then no big deal but this is a slap in her face an insult to her!@@jeremyjeremy8795
I think he was already having an affair when his wife was dying. They are covering it up
Maybe but not necessarily, old men are super needy and move fast after the passing of a wife
Accurate as a nurse the men are out as soon as the wife gets sick especially cancer .. they start the divorce proceedings very quick
Why they do this?@@helena3631
@@mrsjulie11And some women move in quickly when they see an opportunity.
It’s so so sad that this father cannot be alone. I am triggered for the daughter.
I wish this show addressed more issues single people face like loneliness, modern dating challenges, boundaries in new relationships, etc.
Would love to here his opinions on those matters
Hes in his 70s and it's been 5 months. Give me a break
Why don’t you call with a question about what you mentioned
Why is been single always equated to been lonely. That's weird. It's natural to be single and a chose to be in a relationship or married.
They need to call in…
I was just talking to my husband yesterday about getting the courage to tell my dad how I really feel about some things 😂😂. Kudos for you!
Im getting “quick, let’s get married so I can have control over you without your daughter being involved,” vibes.
My dad remarried 11 months after my mom died. But here’s the kicker- my mom set it up!
Your Mom was a gem!
I knew someone with children still in the home. The dying husband actually suggested an unmarried man that he thought would be a good father. But they took things a bit slower-- almost a year before they got engaged. When the family commented about the engagement, I told them it is actually a testimony to the fact that she was happily married, and it was a compliment to the late husband.
But it used to be considered an unspoken social rule to wait a year.
My uncle remarried 3 months after my aunt died during childbirth. Ten years later and I still haven’t spoken to him, and the new wife cheated on him and had a baby with another man
My brother in law started dating a month after my sister died! He had the nerve to ask me out as well! Creep!
😮😮😮
This happened to me. My mom died suddenly and tragically, dad moved across the country, remarried an obese woman with 3 kids and 3 different dads, she was only 9 years older than me. Once she spent my mom's 100k insurance money she bounced, left him for another man. He died a few years later when covid worsened his lung disease. Saddens me every time i think about it.
That’s horrible! So sorry 😢
The fact that she was obese is the worst thing!!! WTF!!
He was cheating and he wanted a woman to replace his late wife's domestic labor duties. That is why most men remarry quickly. Wheras women grieve and alot of the time don't remarry as they finally feel free and happy as they realise that they were being used. Men are labor and they are codependent (Exhausting).
What a negative view of traditional relationship dynamics and working men’s practical needs. Homemaking women are no more being used for domestic labor than breadwinning men are for their resources. The truth is that traditional male roles can often be fulfilled for longer after their deaths. It’s the nature of the roles that a dead man can potentially provide financially for their widows for years, whereas all domestic providing dies with women and immediately shifts to the widower.
@@loganjackson675 Men are too needy and dependent on their wives. They drain women of their time, energy, and joy. Men remarry quickly but most women don't want to marry again. Men take and take and take.
@@loganjackson675🤣🤣Totally clueless
@@judyperri9496 Womp womp
@@loganjackson675 So sad you can’t do better than that 🤡
One of the first things I told my dad when my mom passed away was that he didn’t need to worry about me if he met someone else. I just told him, “Whenever you’re ready, be it next week or in five years, I’m ready. I just want you to be happy.” I just wanted to make sure that he wouldn’t feel ashamed or guilty because of me or my feelings if he were to meet someone else.
Having said that, her dad should definitely be making sure that she feels included.
Did your dad appreciate that? How long did he take to start dating?
@WildBison74 Yes, definitely, once he realized I was serious.🤭 First, he was like, "Are you in some kind of hurry to marry me off, little lady?" 🤔 But once I told him I just wanted him to know that so he could be free to do whatever, we just laughed about it.
But he's still single more than two years later, so it hasn't come to it, at least not yet. He's very self-sufficient, but I'd love for him to have someone to spend the rest of his days with. ❤️
And I like to face things head-on because I find that people appreciate honesty as long as it comes from a place of love.
A lot of kids deciding what parents should do , if you actually care enough, and understand that when a spouse dies that’s the end for them, and they have to live day today in this world, death changes so much for a spouse that it leaves an empty void, which another person fills ,🙄
She (new wife) sees dollar signs and security out of an old man. I'm a veteran, and there are women who hang around the VA and such looking for a lonely old veteran and his pension. They find one and take over everything because he is the cash cow, and they are ruthless especially with the former family. It's funny that as an older woman veteran no men are hanging around looking to get into my life.
Did you know you have to be married for ten years before they can widows money benefits? If a person picks the right one they be a comfort in there old age?
I know a woman who married veterans... 3 times.
Sure, poor little men. Right. 😒
@@aleksandrac9335 I was about to say “These poor helpless victims that have no control over their lives😢😂”
@@refiloendlovu6518right😂
I am reminded of a former co-worker who married after her husband's death to a colleague of hers husband's that she had known for years and whose spouse had died prior to her husband. His children caused such family turmoil that he signed over all property etc to his children to get them to leave the in peace. Within a year's time he had a stroke and required full time nursing care. She contacted his children for some help and was told "you married him it's your job to take care of him, he's not our responsibility". She lost everything in the process and died destitute shortly after the second husband passed away. Be ever so careful in making life changing decisions.
I can’t tell you many times I’ve seen this same situation. My question is why would any decent compassionate woman rush into marrying a widower this soon when she knows it’s destroying everyone? The reverse happens too but I’ve seen way more men remarry so quickly after the death of a spouse than I’ve ever ever seen a woman do it
Is it destroying everyone? Daughter seems cool with it and moved away from her dad. The thing she’s calling about is her exclusion from their lives
Women know they have competition, so they are willing to rush in, mostly for the security. The men sit back and can have their pick. They want intimacy immediately. The women wait on them hand and foot. Maybe the man will actually marry one. I live in an adult community and see this a lot.
Sad to say, six months after my late husband died, I married a man I met in church that I knew for less than three months. He became abusive and I left him after three years. So I am cringing here.
I think if a person is happy in marriage, and then loses a spouse, they look to find another partner and find happiness again. It seems logical and normal.... but in reality, it is so hard to find the right partner again.
@@divekatdreaming I agree, but it's important NOT to rush into a second marriage in order to avoid the grieving process and I am sure that is what the caller's father is doing, especially since he has known his fiance such a short period of time.
@@themadwomanskitchen9732 Absolutely agree!
Giving a once a week check-up call doesn’t give the right to call the shots in their parents life relationship decisions. She needs to be happy for her Dad and stop acting jealous and be more respectful of her Dad decisions. John..you may want to brush up on Senior lifestyles before you start judging and calling out senior citizens. It’s not ok for adult ‘children’ to criticize, and control their parent’s life and decision making.
@@divekatdreaming I think it totally depends on the situation. Some people remarry because they happen to find someone they’d like to spend time with. Sure, some are lonely and need company, and some had a good marriage that they simply don’t feel the need to find anyone else. But it doesn’t necessarily mean they were happy if they don’t remarry nor does it mean they were unhappy if they remarry.
I have known several older gentlemen that have remarried with a quickness after their wife past away.
My uncle lost three wives in his lifetime. After his first wife died he remarried 5-months later. After his second wife died he remarried 5-months later. After his third wife died he had a companion 5-months later until his death. He couldn't stand to be alone.
Does anyone else feel there might be something wrong with the new wife that the daughter will sniff out and that's why he's is so quick to marry?! On top of that they both lied to the daughter and said they would wait. This whole thing stinks. I have a feeling the new wife might be a gold digger.
I so agree with you since I have seen this happen several times. This woman's 3 daughters will be there for their mom but don't care that the new husbands daughter can't come that quickly.
This dad needs to communicate with his daughter and family.
My parents were married almost 50 years. Within one year of my dads passing she had a boyfriend and then moved in with him. It was tough at first but we now love the boyfriend like a stepfather (they never married due to pressure from his kids because he has money). He is a wonderful, kind, and generous person and they have been together for 14 years now. My mom says we treat him better than his own kids and grandkids and he loves us all. The joke was on his greedy kids - my mother is also very wealthy but doesn’t show it.
Live within your means! Good for her and your family, I wish you all health and happiness!
Women should never get involved with a man who has only been widowed or divorced for less than 3 years or so.
A lot of those women are usually in the church and have been single for years…even decades. So when fresh meat of a man appears they jump on it.
2 weeks after my dad passed away my mother started dating someone from her church. Someone who had even helped out with my mom take my dad to his appointments. While I never questioned her integrity as a married woman, it did hurt me deeply. Especially growing up she told me not date until I was ready to be married. I tried looking for help online, because I was too ashamed to reach out to anyone in person and all I got was people telling me that I was over reacting. It was her life and she should live it as she wants. So I buried my hurt feelings deep and never really said anything. Then after that guy, there was another and another and another. I didn't realize how guy crazy my mom was and to me it was such painful betrayal after being raised so strictly. We've never spoken about it and one of the reasons why we're not as close as she would like us to be.
This gave me flashbacks. My father in law did this a few years back now. He waited over a year to get married, but he met his new wife and got married within 3 months. And the only time we heard her name before the engagement was just on a phone call with my husband where he said "I'm with Diane so I gotta go." We didn't know who she was. Next time we heard from him he called me while my husband (his son) was at work to say they were getting married. I asked him if I was supposed to break the news or if he was planning to. She's a great person, but it was a rough start having her in the family.
Not an excuse for Dad's behavior, but, he could be being taken advantage of by the other woman who is playing on his grief and maybe love-bombing him and possibly moving in on his estate financially. This happened to my sister's husband's (my brother-in-law's) father after his mother died. And the relationship between the father and the children was destroyed before he died. The other woman took everything. Even if money isn't at play here, emotionally, he's being taken away, and it's unclear how much is through manipulation of a man in a very vulnerable time and how much is him knowing what he is doing.
Why does he need an excuse for his behavior, what is he doing wrong?
@@megl6148 he's leaving his daughter out of his communications and plans - their relationship is changing with the new relationship with this other woman
@@megl6148If you don't think this man was cheating on his wife with Ms while she was dying, you are the most naive person on the internet. The fact that he's cutting his daughter out of his life that's wrong. The fact that he's getting married 3 months after his wife died. That's wrong. And you're delusional. And there's something wrong with your brain if you don't think that.
@@megl6148Cutting his daughter out of his life after his daughter just lost her mom? You'd think he be concerned about how she's handling it and trying to do things to help both of them grieve but he's got his new bangmaid so Daughter can kick rocks....
I’d be showing up at his front door, mostly to check her out.
For real. I think the new lady doesn’t want the daughter at the wedding for some shady reason
The new wife is in a rush to get married to make sure she's in the will before it's too late.
She was probably the side piece during his wife's illness. You folks are so naive.
I concur maybe they decided to just stay togerther for the kids a lot of marriages are like that
I know a few situations like that...
THANK YOU! Everyone defending this man is making me lose faith in humanity
gosh I related to this. went through similar years ago with my father after mom passed. he met his new wife with in months at "bereavement support group" 🙄 and they married quickly. he says it was about companship and not being alone at his age
It could be, if he met her in church that she won't have sex with him unless they are married. That would cause him to not only change the date, but not tell his daughter why.
my thoughts exactly
My dad topped this. 3 weeks after 30 years marriage, evicted his bereaved daughter to move some vile spinster in. My mum died of breast cancer
He still has absolutely no remorse and legitimate narcissist
When i was a toddler he was supposed to be minding me from danger, I ended up with a fractured skull, blood pouring everywhere on his watch
First he complained about the amount of blood making him feel ill. Then he said he was not taking me to hospital because he was more concerned about my mother's reaction (wife) and her being angry with him when she returned.
It took a compete stranger to order him to take me to hospital.
He resented me for getting injured. As if I was an irritant.
Deeply negligent, selfish, lazy, extremely uncaring, lacks empathy, self centred, whilst plays the martyr, the victim and pits people against me whilst smearing me.
He's a compulsive liar, vile domestic violence abuser, bully and cheat.
Would not bully or strangle or give death stare to another man because he is an utter coward.
Does not want to take accountability for his behaviour, deflects GASLIGHTS, ridicules, undermines. Bullies, throws tantrums, stomps feet, rolls eyes pulls faces.
This type of behaviour has continued for the past 33 years.
I have depression and severe anxiety disorders due to this bully
Thats so sad.. i know its easier said than done but get a therapist and move on for your own sake.. its one thing to suffer under his roof but your slowly suffering after.. and hes winning 😢
Move away when possible. He doesn't respect you, and you will be free from him. You'll feel so much better.
I have a good friend whose faither did the same thing. All his kids were horrified. Our families had been friends for many years and this man hit on my mother telling her, he was a catch. My mom wasn't the least impressed and politely declined.
Oh wow.
The next suck that she's going to have to deal with is that he's going to put her 3 daughters into the will also.
That's not always true. I know someone who married someone else and they keep the children separate from each other when it comes to any type of inheritance.
I have seen this happen before. The 2nd marriage didn't work because they didn't know each other well. They were both still grieving their spouses.
My Mom died a couple of years ago from dementia related to several strokes over the years. In the later years she needed a lot of help. Two weeks after we buried my Mom my Dad took me out to a restaurant and asked if I would be too upset if he moved a waitress that he had been talking to into his home. I let him know I did not think that was appropriate. He didn’t move her in but he definitely continued to flirt and see her. I didn’t have a strong relationship with my dad just because he has malignant narcissistic personality disorder. I pulled back on the relationship. Only had contact when necessary. But after a few more things that I thought were disrespectful to me, I cut off complete communication, and quite actually my life has been more peaceful. She should look at his personality to see what is really going on.
Good for you. Protect yourself. Even from family. Especially from family.
Yep! I get it! Good for you!!! That Man is an idiot
so you cut your father off because you didn't think he had been lonely long enough. . . . he's probably better off without you around judging his actions for no reason except he wants companionship, he didn't kill your effing mother, she died, let him move on
My friend told me in front of his wife. If she goes before him. He would never remarry. I believe him. He is 51. She is that great. You never know with some people. Some of us are with partners for economics, more than some great love.
Think back...my parents were glad that I was dating a college guy ($)..economics..companionship..it's the same as when people get married at an older age.
I said the same thing to my wife. I can't say it would 100% never happen but to me I just don't know if I could and even want to especially if lets say I'm pretty old by then. It just complicates stuff. Dating and getting with someone else, yes in due time but I don't feel any need to ever remarry.
My husband and I both say the same thing!!
I think there is an element to this discussion missing. They breezed over the mom having ALS, being bed-ridden at the end, and dying within 10 months of the diagnosis, but she was having health problems for several years before the diagnosis and eventual death. The husband was likely her caregiver, so I'm sure he has done a lot of grieving her health problems prior to her death, and in all honesty, her death probably felt like he got let loose of the caregiving prison and dating, falling in love, was probably a very heady experience after spending several years in the abyss of caregiving.
Yeah, I get that getting remarried within 5 months of her death feels painful, and I as a daughter would feel very hurt myself and I would feel it's disrespectful to my mother's memory, but loneliness, a desire for companionship and sex are HUGE.
If the wife was as sick as she was for several years prior to her death, I doubt he and wife were intimate. If he is a churchgoer, then he probably believes premarital sex isn't right, so marrying is a very viable alternative.
It seems fast to the daughter, but she wasn't the mother's caregiver (likely), and loneliness is huge.
I had a friend pass of ALS, it’s tragic being a close caregiver and her dad has gone through a lot being up close and his kids not being near
I did think that my first thought was " I phone once a week" ....I was like you should of been there for your dad he sounds like he's been alone a while.
Right! I love listening to Dr. John his answers about people who are grieving often miss the mark. That dad had probably been having anticipatory grief for months. maybe years before his wife died.
Go off! Lol 🙌🏻
But that's exactly what she said. It's not that he's marrying - it's that he's excluding her from his new life - that's the problem.
My stepdad did the same thing. My moms body wasnt even cold before he was on tinder and met his new wife. Most men dont care about women much
That was quick!!! She was hardly even cold and he's already got someone new.😢😢😢😢😢
Personally, I think anyone remarrying under a year, let alone six months, after a spouse dying is super disrespectful. She tried to communicate with her father, as she is trying to embrace him and his new life. While he is entitled to do whatever he wants, he is literally spitting in her face. I would personally go no contact, but that’s just me.
Exactly, I agree. I wouldn’t go no contact though. I would give him space
@@bee12355 You are better than me. :)
How silly! Is his first wife going to be deader in 6 months rather 5? He's a widower he is entitled to remarry.
@@robertperry814 I think it’s appropriate to take some time to grieve, and to not give the impression that you were on the lookout while your wife is barely cold in the ground. However, if your baser needs take precedence, do what is best for you.
@@respectabletampodcast How cold? 31 celcius or lower? I don't think not wanting to be alone after your spouse dies is a "baser need". In Genesis it says "it is not good for man to be alone"....guess G-d didn't have the advantage of your advice.
This is why you can't leave everything to your husband, because he'll leave your kids out. It happened to me and I don't want it to happen to my kids.
My dad started dating 1 week after my mom died.....my relationship with him will never be the same
That’s totally wild to be 72 and you’ve NEVER once in your life lived alone and taken care of yourself. Total codependency for almost a century.
I don't believe they just met. He's probably known her for awhile but is just telling you now because he's getting married.
My Dad did that. He won't call her, the new wife has him under control and she will until he dies and she's got her hands on all his money. Sorry, but, that's just how it goes.
5 months after her death he's remarrying... He wasn't in love with your mom when she died. Sorry, but that's the truth. I mean unless they had an "open marriage" (not a real marriage) no man that loved his wife would be getting remarried that quick.
😂😂😂😂
Bingo
My mother died when I was 13. Siblings were adults and gone and Dad was a military man my whole childhood was a semi stranger to me. He got remarried when I was 16 and she never liked me. Caused me to run as soon as I was 18. Turned me into the prodigal son.