Everything Wrong With Genesis 30 in the Bible
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- čas přidán 2. 09. 2020
- The baby wars are finally upon us. (And you thought your own sibling rivalry was bad...)
Also, you're about to see the most incorrect genetics experiment ever.
**Be sure to check out the rest of this series**
Playlist: • Everything Wrong with ...
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Thank you to Yanely Del Rosario for providing captioning help!
The music is "First" by Text Me Records.
I was using the NIV Bible: www.biblegateway.com/passage/...
Featured image via Shutterstock: www.shutterstock.com/
"You must sleep with me. I have hired you with my son's mandrakes."
I'm going to try that line on my wife tonight.
Lmao how did it go?
@@notevenalex Should have stuck with chocolate 😂
Where can I find mandrakes????
No...sadly, Rachel's "Give me children lest I die" isn't a threat to Jacob, i's an assertion that, without children, a woman has no life, no value. It's her "job" to carry on the line, and so, if she doesn't, she may as well not be alive. Remember, Hemant, the only thing valuable in us is our ovaries. Can you hear me scoffing?
Only thing valuable are your ovaries. I hate to agree with you but that is a very true statement for those times. And whats worst? If your ovaries didnt produced male children you were seen as no good traded for another woman which is crazy because we need female babies in order to continue the specie. Thank God for evolution of consciousness.
@@harveywabbit9541 you somehow managed to make this even more insane than it already is, awesome.
@@indisa099 i know right!!
@@harveywabbit9541 Sounds a bit Shiva / Shakti, yes, with a little up-the...
@@twinryu In the beginning of the bible and after the flood God tells Adam and Eve and Noah and his wife to become fruitful and fill the earth. They had no choice but to intermarry until there were enough people on the earth plus It wasn't in the law not to incest until after Moses got the commandments from God at the mountain. So yeah women were valuable for being virgins and then for having many children. If some women were not slaves they would not have been cared for so it was an arrangement to keep them alive especially if they could not find their own husbands.
Hemant, Well done. Genesis was never explained like this in church.
I don't think many priests or pastors would talk about his broken penis....lol
@@johnmulhern2833 It probably got stronger from so much use.
James Hicks Hello, well most false teachers and blasphemers do start in many different places.
Hemant is my new CZcams pastor!
Ranjit Gill Hello, a little news flash, Hemant is not a pastor.
Man, I remember reading this part of the Bible back when I was in middle school and thinking I was missing something or reading something wrong when it got to the part about putting branches with the bark peeled off near the sheep. I knew that wasn't how it worked, so I just assumed I had somehow interpreted it wrong, but now I understand. The Bible makes a lot more sense after you realize it's all bullshit.
McFlingleson Hello, well, do you mean the Bible is fiction?
@Ron Maimon It sounded more like a lonely man's erotic fanfiction to me.
@Ron Maimon When the "rivalry" boils down to "who can have the most sex and most babies with the man", it's erotic fiction.
When you realizes it's all bull, its makes NO sense. L That's the message Hemant is trying to drive home here.
Obviously the people that wrote Genesis knew nothing about genetics. AronRa would most definitely set them straight.
Common sense would Also do it ................
Aron Ra would do it with a flip of his beautiful mane
I mean yeah. The ancients in general didn't understand genetics like we do today.
He isn't the only one (though absolutely one of the best).
@@tototome7046 so we all agree you have no idea about how evolution works;)
Bilhanh had no say in the matter because even though it says servant the real word probably should be slave.
So in summary, we remixed Genesis 16 and our pimp hero used witchcraft.
All hail Biblical traditional marriage 😁
Why does the bible keep telling us that people are having sex?
Because Netflix and taco Tuesdays weren't invented when it was written. These sheep herders needed something to do.
What's really disturbing is people are reading this to their kids.
i try to remember my impression as a child when i first read genesis, the lesson we pulled out was, polygamy is a big problem:)) we didnt think about sex, nor about this early surrogacy....
but the bible never speaks about an agreement with a sperm donor:)) some infertile women would perhaps get babies with other men!
@@disassociated1731 Very true. It seems more likely though that the problem is with a woman if the man keeps producing children with other women..... although perhaps those other women were cheating with other men -- and not getting caught. Unless the slave women had slave men for husbands.
OMG MAN!! i cant believe how funny this is!! how is this even a religious book??
I take it this is not what you expect from religious books for some reason?
Actually, this is the norm in religious books. Religious books that don't have content like this in them are the outlier.
Ananth Narayanan Hello, even if your question is an actual question, what’s religion to you in the first place?
@Ron Maimon special? The vast majority of literature have PEOPLE in them, so ...
@Ron Maimon which "ancient literature" doesn't have people in them? P.S. Moses, Noah, David, Elijah, Jesus, Samson etc. are literally "superheroes." The Holy bible is littered with them and multiple "two dimensional caricatures" all over the place.
I've found fresh-cut poplar branches to be overrated. I use croquette sticks to determine the color and stripedness of my sheep
I just use dyes... oh wait, that's in Minecraft!
So starts the baby marathon.🏃♂️🏃♂️🏃♂️🤰🤰🤰
Joseph - "And now we're in the musical section". 🤣😂😅😆😁😄
I wonder if that's a shout out to the animated DreamWorks film Joseph: the King of Dreams.
@@Moszan I think Hemant was referring to the musical "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat", a musical by Andrew Lloyd Webber. 🎵🎶
@@steveziminsky583 Starring Donny Osmond, everyone's favorite Morman.
Reminds me of the scene in The Handmaid's Tale, where the pregnant hand maids had their babies taken by the wife of the high official while the birth mothers screamed for their babies.
The baby wars is one of the silliest things in genesis 😂
The cattle thing is the dumbest thing too.
These are all very compelling. When you think it can't get any weirder or crazier or nonsensical, it does.
Can't wait to see what will happen to Jacob, the guy that married his two cousins
Edit:Jacob reminds me of Abraham the capitalist, because of the way he took his revenge on his uncle
the poor genetics can be seen in all the inbreeding so far....
you wouldnt be alive if it wasnt for the first inbreed. But this was also against the Law of God in the future. In the law of Moses itis against Gods law
It appears that Surrogate motherhood is supported by the bible, who would have thought it. I wonder how that fits in with the sanctity of marriage and the ideals of monogamy so important to Christian evangelists.
The Mormons got it right. Who would have thought.
its basically saying if you marry one woman and she has lots of female "servants" (pretty sure they're slaves) its kinda a "buy one take all" kinda deal and then after that its just a fuckfest...
@Ron Maimon So why do so many tell us that the Bible is 'the word of God' , and other farcical descriptions? It seems that the more I read the Bible, the less sense it makes on any level.
Islam has it right: but only the Sihks really follow the bible. Christians threw it in the bin ages ago...except for the stuff they cherry-picked.
This chapter reads like a Biblical male fantasy. Jacob has all these women fighting over him, desperate to please him while being contented with the idea of him sleeping around, and they all conceive him children (males - the better type) who he doesn’t have to look after and who can do his bidding when he grows old. There’s one girl in there too who he can use as currency if need be - like an insurance child. And then at the end he screws over his boss and gets rich. Praise the Lord!
Yeah, this gives me a vibe similar to that of Lot, where you have this whacky story about all the women's motivation and stuff, but was clearly written by the guy in the end (Lot needed a story to explain why his wife was dead and his two daughters came back with kids - he couldn't say he was a drunken wife abuser and child molester, so the story is oh, she was turned into a pillar of salt and the girls got me drunk and took advantage of me). All this story of Leah and Rachael fighting over Jacob makes a lot more sense if you view it from the perspective of Jacob being a serial abuser
This is one sick ass book of fictional fairytales
And this is Genesis
As oppose to real fairytales?
@@harveywabbit9541 are they monkeys?
This sounds like a bad anime 😂
Definitely hentai.
Anime is much better! This shit is the worst!
This is worse than bad hentai and I've seen a lot of horrible plots
"The Bible is the ultimate source of morality."
Ridiculous. Pick a random book from a library and chances are very high, that it is better at teaching any morality.
Yeah, morality as in Lot offering his two virgins daughters to be raped or the two above said daughters sleeping with Lot and getting pregnant by him. The Old Testament is full of such morality... how can people still say and believe this is a source of morality?
@@wdbible129 You have to understand, that for me as an atheist the Bible is not special or different to any other book of fiction. It makes no real difference, how you interpret the stories. I just find it amusing, how christians have to wind and wiggle to make the Bible fit their worldviews.
For me, it makes no sense to build a worldview on an ancient book of fairytales and personal testimony.
@@meaper960 Through my history, I beleive you are wrong about the histoory of The Bible. It is history and The Living Word of The Almighty God. I would hope that you would be open to the truth that you make mistakes about your beliefs. Because you believe the bible is made up of random man made fairy tales.
And the Bible speaks on God, as the one who was never tempted by evil, and His spirit has no unrighteousness, but forever, will be Charity in those who have Him.
That is why I made this video i sent you because people see the acts of destruction, and have an instinctual reaction to hate Gods character. But when you think about it, God Alkmighty still is good, and the Almighty is who represents the God Almighty.
@@wdbible129 I really don't care what the bible says. If god wants me to know that he is real, he needs to come up with better evidence than an ancient book with questionable content. And if god was real, I am ready to be judged on my life: I am a loving husband, have a job where I can help other people and give a lot of my free time as a volunteer fire fighter.
@@meaper960 id tell you this. Confidence on the judgement of your whole life, based on love, Your Love, is an extremely frightening idea. If you believe that you will be judged on Love and probably the warm fuzzy feeling that you put in yourself when you wrote that; than how much Love? and did you measure up? To be judged by The Life, God. He has power and heights and epths that are incomprehensible, but through the confidence of Warm fuzy feelings(That also if you judged yourself on this, and you desire perfect judgement, have you always loved and been loving?) (According to your own law and The Law of The Bible, Your Damned) this is not something we should have confidence in.
Ill tell what my confidence is in, The Word of God and His Promise to those that believe on His Word. The my confidence is in The Word that came to Life in The Name of God.
Outside of that there is no confidence in the Name of God.
God, who at sundry times and in divers manners spake in time past unto the fathers by the prophets,
2 Hath in these last days spoken unto us by his Son, whom he hath appointed heir of all things, by whom also he made the worlds;
3 Who being the brightness of his glory, and the express image of his person, and upholding all things by the word of his power, when he had by himself purged our sins, sat down on the right hand of the Majesty on high:
in this day Jesus is the Word of Promise. I made a video yesterday on this. czcams.com/video/3ODnQitB358/video.html
Damn.... there are still 20 chapters left...
Gsnaponfire Hello, you sound like all this, the videos, the reading and the explanations, are a big waste of time.
Daniel thanks for the feedback? No I think they are hilarious, and a great time spent. I’ve actually pointed theists to these videos. My comment is more an ambiguous sigh, followed by the feeling “I can’t believe I fell for this shit.”
I. Know.
Friendly Atheist are you tired yet?
If so, keep at it! You are the bomb!
Always so funny. The bible really makes no sense >_
makes sense to me whole heartedly. if you have any questions about this leave me a comment. here is a video i made today on a defense of the book of genesis.
czcams.com/video/L_TJJLfpQRU/video.html
Makes sense to me. You just don't understand
There are tons of voices today who lie about Gods Word. Satans first words were “Has God Said?”
It’s not surprising all of the voices that seek to pervert Gods Word of Truth
GOD IS REAL
@@wdbible129
Facts. Athiest always try to disrespect the Bible and God but yet, use the christian world view to prove there is no God. smh
Notice how the consent of the "servants" (slaves) isn't important to the writers
😂🙄🤦♂️ NO, they are not.
@Archie Fitzpatrick Hogwash
@Archie Fitzpatrick first of all the bible is hogwash made up of myths. Secondly if Abraham was a real person he would've been an Arab. He was from the city Ur, lower Bagdad, former Mesopotamia now Iraq. He travel with his wife Sarai and his servants. So his descendants were Arabs. Stop claiming other ppl mythology.
It's crazy, there are those who call the Bible "God's instruction manual for life" and "the word of God." I gotta say, God's got some really messed up stories to tell, and I don't think I'd be using them too much for guidance on living my life. Seriously, what do these f'd up soap operas have to do with withe Yahweh?
Flowing Afterglow Hello, interesting comment, I’ll say: at least you recognize The Lord, God.
Daniel , so not only do you believe this crazy book, you also don’t get sarcasm. Haha.
kevin kelly Hello, wow, I’m not so sure, true we’ve never meet, but weird guy? How do you even know he’s a guy?
Tony Clifford Hello, oh no, I get sarcasm, nah I don’t believe any crazy book, I simply review, analyze and receive with some more sense, logic and understanding.
Daniel , so how does any sensibility or logical analysis of the bible give ANY credible conclusions without confirmation bias? It can’t!
Animals, rather than money, were considered the superior property in those days though, Hemant. It's how the Indo-Aryans made a living as they migrated from the Caucasus mountains and through India: they traded cattle with the Dravidians in the south and other peoples in the north, and they got land and resources in return. It's why cattle are sacred to Hindus: they're considered to be a life-giving animal that asks for very little in return.
Leah: Big whoop... I'm still two up on you.
Knowing you're making this series is what gets me out of bed every morning!
If animals mating near a weird branch was enough to have an impact on the look of the offspring, we'd have a WHOLE lot of weird animals walking around.
Where was Jehovah when Leah, Rachel and Bilhah were fighting over Jacob and the babies?
Was he out drinking again? This shit is so absurd, I want some of whatever alcohol Jehovah and the Bible writers were drinking on that night.
This project is amazing and hilarious!!!
All these years I thought I knew the bible never before have I truly understood more clearly, logical and comical than how you explained it.
thankyou Friendly Atheist.
Looking forward to having more of the bible clearly explained with expressions on my face..like.. WTF
Whoa. Maybe we can put some peeled sticks in front of a fertility clinic and make striped people?
He gave Laban grandchildren. He worked hard.
Where does this madness end!
A Handmaid’s Tale. Big Love. Thanks for sharing.
Sounds like Abram and Sera all over again.
Well, now I can't help but imagine Jacob as one of those generic, skinny, black haired, unassertive anime protagonists who somehow end up with a harem. He can't fall down without somehow ending up with his face or hands on somebody's breasts, and he can't go twenty-four hours without saying something that gets comically misconstrued.
Can we have an improv group act these scenes out?
This is like a bad soap opera
Can you have an X-rated improv group?
@@scottstollery2191 absolutely but it won't be able to be on CZcams
@@MoonWomanStudios What could the group's name be? "The Young and the Pregnant?" "Canaan's Hospital?" "As the Shepherd Turns?"
"Sex and the City of God"?
how did anyone know they won't like this video before it even started?
😂 😂 Thanks for liking my comment. It reminded me that I forgot to like the video. I actually watched it and made the decision of liking or disliking after acquiring actual data on whether the video is good or not
@@renierfourie2406 I think it's better when you just rely on what you've been indoctrinated with as a child rather than actual data, ha ha...
Whoah! Something new learnt today. Thanks Hemant Mehta.
Branches do not work that way and why the F would anyone think they would? Or maybe wood? Also WTF just.. What the ..
BTW. I am loving this whole series which I've just found. looking forward to somany more chapters and stories Great work. :-D
So, Jacob is a gigolo too...
He's rollin' in the Mandrake, son.
Mandrakes are aphrodisiacs??? What the hell were they cooking up in herbology class at Hogwarts!!
For pete's sake, 6th years at Hogwarts are allowed to make "euphoria" potions. And the instructor left him alone with his solution, and he friggin dumped it out instead of bringing at back to the dorm. They could have just as well had them cooking some meth....
So this is the part of the bible aron ra refers to in his debates and discussions with creationists. I always wondered where that bit was in the bible as it was never mentioned in the 20+ years of church.
"Then God remembered Rachel." Jeez, about time! Incidentally, what's this about divination?
Very interesting, awesome story telling.
However, Background music kind of Loud and it intercept following the subject matter.
Thank you for all your work
"I have learned through divination that the Lord has blessed me through you" Anyone feels like that one should have more details. It sounds pretty important.
I can't believe he wasn't stoned to death the moment the word "divination" slipped out of his mouth.
Divination? Did he attend Hogwarts?
@@kevinvorster9777 pretty sure he learned under someone of professor trelawney's ancestors...
Tbh, I never read the bible (cover to cover) because I thought it's so boring, but I've laughed so hard about the Esau/Jakob storyline, it's just so ridiculous! And your commentary is pure gold!
Yeah Jacobs a regular anime harem king. Thinking of Rosario Vampire.
This is going to be fun
10:50 😂😂😂
I died 💀☠⚰
People actually take this book seriously?
Jacob must have been exhausted!
Ah, we're doing this again! The classic "I can't have children, ergo sleep with my slave" move. Didn't this already happen with Sarah and Abraham?
Of all Jacob's gaggle of kids, the only names I'd use on any of my own are Asher, Joseph (also my grandfather's name), and Benjamin, but having that many sons is statistically unlikely, not to mention all the other genetics shit they get wrong in this chapter. Really? Striped branches? That's what we're going with here? XD
I was sorted into Hufflepuff on Pottermore, so I'm even less important, LOL. The only difference is that Harry didn't either screw or father any of them...well, except him screwing Ginny. Gasp! Spoilers!
@@ActiveAdvocate1 I'm of the opinion that they only listed the sons, not the daughters.
I don't want to alarm anyone, but I'm beginning to notice a pattern of sexual discrimination in the bible.
It’s easy to criticise Hamant, but have you ever placed striped branches next to mating livestock and then observed their offspring? ...No? Well then!!!
went and did it... somehow i may have made a mistake somewhere, my livestock went and had checkered offspring... some got even LV marks on them...
Hemant: i hope you plan on blowing up Revelation by "John"
Great read, yes?
Maybe the exposed under-bark, from those trees, contains chemical compounds that diffueses in the water which then triggers a
genetic reactions in the animals drinking it? Can poisoning have effects on genetics? Causing a change in the development of pigmentation?
I told you. Twilight Zone-like. What’s even more crazy, perhaps now entering the realm of the Outer Limits, is that there are seemingly normal and educated people who actually believe this crap.
At least no consanguinity in these families ! All those different mums !
Jacob seems like a daft guy to me. Apparently he willfully obliges every outlandish sex wish of the women around him, without objection, hesitation or even questioning why. "Sleep with this servant, sleep with that servant!" and there he goes with the baby spout.
The god of the old testament is obsessed with reproduction.
12:58 Ok, to be fair...
A lot of ancient cultures hadn't invented a physical currency at the time. Even then, wealth wasn't really measured in money, but how much property you owned.
(If I was Jacob)
Leah: you have to sleep with me
Me: I don’t have to do sh*t🤬.. leave me alone
This series is awesome! gotta love bible biology
2:37 I'm telling you, The Bible would make an excellent tv show/animation show and Chapter is a season.
You make reading this history book actually INTERESTING
I’m confused right now. I lost track.
Add bits and pieces all through the social media Im like really this what we doing
NO. 🤦♂️ Just NO.
Fantastic fairytale and amazing storyteller, loved it but the sad part is people still believe in this shit in the 21st century!
They don't read it, though.
born atheist 1951 this series gives me all risen to stay away lucky me "hahaha" regarts denmark
At 1:04 ...this was the basis for the movie and TV series "The Handmaiden"...
I used the passages on Jacob's "experiment" as a refutation of someone interjecting how "scientific" the Bible is, and they just responded to me "Yeah, it's called breeding". I laughed so hard it hurt, and responded by saying I needed to say nothing further, and a couple laughing emoticons.
@Terence Johunkin Your evidence that it _is_ a metaphor for that is?...
@Terence Johunkin So, dodging and obfuscating the question with a somewhat condescending and unrealistic remark. Got it, this conversation is pointless. Good day.
Billie (Bilhah) Jean is not my lover. She's just a girl who claims I am the one, but the kid is not my son. She says I am the one, but the kid is not my son...
Men and women is this creepy book you call the bible don’t seem to have consent when it comes to sex.. imagine being told that you have to sleep with her.. or being told that “I’m giving you someone and you have to sleep with her” 🤦🏾♂️ this book is messed up
With God on your side you can do any old crap and still be blessed?
Someone's in the kitchen with Dinah.
Jacob gave the flocks to his sons to tend? Those kids are under 7 yo.
But there's a lot of them, so that makes up for their youth.
Apparently "Your children shall be as numerous as the stars in the sky." is not a blessing but a curse. God's probably having a big ol' laugh watching this.
@@harveywabbit9541 That's a really pretty way of describing such a large quantity of rape.
@@harveywabbit9541 Are you saying that a story doesn't have sex in it unless the characters in it who had sex really exist?
@@harveywabbit9541 It is possible for fictional characters to commit rape against other fictional characters. You are giving the symbolism of the characters more weight than the writing of them.
Or, to frame it your way, what does the rape of Rachel's and Leah's servants represent? Let's not cherry-pick which parts of the story have symbolic analogues and which do not.
Learned by divination?!
**professor trelawney has entered the chat**
@@hakureikura9052
🤣
"That was another Bible passage describing rape." All sanctioned and approved of by The "Almighty."
Because He's the "moral" one!
Come to that, He doesn't seem to have an issue with men having multiple wives either.
So much for all that one man/one woman stuff touted by those calling themselves "Christians!"
Ahhh ...the Desert Dwellers Guide To the Universe!
There's someone named Dan in the babble...
Not only that, there was a whole city named Dan, dating back 4,500 years!
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dan_(ancient_city)
Everything wrong with Genesis 1,2,3... Infinity. Make it stop.
Betty Bowers has competition.
You seem to mention the bits Bible study misses out 😂
think i cracked a rib..guess the bible hasn't been really read thru the year, but then facts don't matter in the religious worlds
Been watching these in order, and the only thing I can keep thinking is these don't sound anything like humans. They sound like mindless robots who are tasked with reproducing and blandly praising god for whatever mild boon they've attained, which in this case is just having children. Everyone sounds so joyless and devoid of humanity.
Sighs* I can hear banjos playing. Am I hearing things reading this? 😂
In next episode of Ancient Sister Wives..................
The first half sounds suspiciously like some lonely old man's erotic fantasy novel.
Two sister-wives competing who can have more children with the same man, and throwing female slaves at him, when they can no longer conceive? Yeah... Pretty much sounds like the plot of a low-quality porn movie to me. Or a weird erotic comedy spoof.
The second half... I don't even know what that is, but I hope to God it is *not* an erotic fantasy.
So.... if I give my wife a potted plant as a present.......???
I'd assume you just bought yourself for the evening. Enjoy.
I don’t know if Jacob is lucky or not...
If you throw in a little magic, then EVERYTHING can be explained. The stripes on the branches really had nothing to do with the offspring - it was MAGIC, tada! You can explain everything with magic - it's how modern technology works, after all. LOL
6:04 i started crylaughing when I heard: "God remebered Rachel"
A lot of the Old Testament is cobbled together from other legends and other religions and changed names to fit their own narrative. I don't think this was originally fraudulent. I think the writings that became the Old Testament was a collection of texts existing at the time. Back then, hardly anybody could write, and reading and writing was ground-breaking technology that had a magical aura to it. I can't help feeling chapter 30 was a comedy retold as a kind of long-form joke, perhaps even by travelling entertainers. It is too ridiculous for it to be serious. And it is genuinely funny... like something you'd see in some nutty sitcom.
Thanks for this Hemant. I've always been atheist, but have read the Bible, however it was a long time ago and I'd completely forgotten about this loony part.
It does seem that this could have started as humor. You know, the poor guy outsmarted the rich guy.
So Jacob didn’t even get to name any child? Interesting
It's the mother that names the children as it is now.
Albert Giesbrecht well at least some agreement would take place between both parents (If the father is still around)
Jacob had no say whatsoever
How many years did Jacob spend with Laban? at least 14, plus 12 kids, pregnancies take 9 months, if the pregnancies took place in the order that the bible describes, then at least 21 years. You think that's enough for Esau to cool off?
Genesis 30:1-6 Since Rachel isn’t bearing children, and the author makes her assume it is her fault, she gives a human being to her husband for reproduction (Biblical family values?) The “baby-maker’s” name is Bilhah (Hebrew?) and her consent is never considered. When Dan is born from this sex-slavery, Rachel claims Elohim has honored this act of slavery and rape by giving *Rachel* a son - the assumption is that she owns everything Bilhah does. Elohim does not correct her. Why couldn’t Elohim have given her Dan via her own womb?
Leah did the same with Zilpah in Genesis 30:12-18, then when Leah bore Issachar, she claimed that Elohim had rewarded her (and, effectively, Jacob) for the sex-slavery of Zilpah. Elohim apparently agrees, since this is occurring repeatedly.
More amazing Biblical family values from the Bible.