What is Schizoid Personality Disorder? | Kati Morton
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- čas přidán 8. 09. 2024
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Not just being alone. It's the fantasies for me. Having conversations with myself and with others (in my head) is fun and allows for that social release.
Is that a trait?!
@@josephhaslam4724 dude, how does he talk to “other ppl” in his own head?
Do you give your own voice a different narrator? My nephew has this (I think) and I’m concerned how to approach him. He stopped smiling in all our family pictures about 10yrs ago. Idk what to do with him
Same here. I have schizoid, and it's just a lot of daydreaming for me. I listen to some exciting song, relax, and imagine how a fictional interaction with someone else would go.
Yep. The world in my head is exponentially more entertaining than most people can provide me....
@@h20dynamoisdawae37really? I may also a schizoid then?
Being schizoid is like floating on a raft in the middle of an ocean with another person who keeps asking you for directions.
No ambition, no aspiration for relationships, feeling empty or incomplete at most times, constantly keeping up a charade to the extent you lose track of your own personality, lack of a moral compass all the while experiencing it as if you're watching a movie passing by.
And even with therapy and encouraged socializing with other people there are times, mostly when alone, that I drift swiftly back into the mindset of someone caged by lack of satisfaction.
The worst part was that once I was made aware of my own behaviour, it still seem natural to me.
I liked your description of the illness. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to have this illness. Sometimes I idealize it. Doing that is probably wrong. But I imagine it being like total self-sufficiency. But i gather from your description of the illness that it is still very painful. Is the withdrawing painful, or only relieving?
@@c.s.quarterport999 self-sufficiency maybe, content hard but possible, fulfilled only temporary schizoid and pretty hard
I have never experienced an better explanation how it feels in this situation .
I get you man 👊🏻 I suffer from schizoid personnality disorder too ...
Skelezig sounds like my brother.
I absolutely hate having to interact with anyone. It's so draining. Whenever I have to make conversations it's super awkward and I have no idea what to say bc I dont care.
I feel like I'm acting all the time, and it's super draining
@@monicacamargoadamski8563 I can identify with the ‘acting’ part.. there is no real me, I just put on a mask when around people
this is so me
agreed and i don't like it. Personally i need help.
people will think you are lying too. its like no. i really dont care.
My main struggle with SPD is honestly people that see it as a problem when I don't and so they try to "fix" me. I've been going to therapists for nearly 10 years to "help" me with my lacking of wanting to have social relationships, and it would always end up failing because I feel miserable when I'm constantly around people. It's like a sensory overload where other people's voices are too loud and annoying and you feel they're invading your personal space and it's just awful, but if I avoid social situations sometimes people get angry or believe I don't love them because I don't want to be around them. And that's not like it. I just need my space like everyone, but I need it a 97% of the time.
If your beloved has SPD and you worry they don't love you because they never tell you, just know that we communicate differently. Instead of words, sometimes a simple hug or or a smile means a lot more. it depends on the person, maybe they wouldn't hug you but would prepare you a cup of tea as a way of showing you they think and care about you. We're all different and we experience SPD differently, but the most important thing for us is for people to be patient and understand that we don't work like they do.
I felt every word of this 😢
i hate when they try to "fix" you.
This is also known as IDGAF Syndrome.
wastky intensifies
You actually give a fuck, but you don't show it outwardly.
😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂 nailed it bro
We wish
Yes.
Shout out to all my SPD compatriots out there potentially writing long winded/ winding comments expressing something. And then deleteing it, to re-write it shorter and less personal and then not caring so post nothing instead. Me to friend, me to.
Look at me though! I commented! I might open my e-mails next week too. (Mfw resisting urge to delete last bit)
at least im not the only one who does that shit
I can certainly relate. Though I don't have any issue checking e-mails, since practically all of them are business related or spam mail anyway.
@@RialuCaos That's the goal for me. I won't log into my e-mail cause even opening the interface is like an "interaction". Business or otherwise. I have 29 unread messages on my phone as well (awkward laughter).
That's more like avoidant personality disorder - they are known for deep emotions but fears of rejection and anxiety. "rewriting something with deep emos afraid to post" is not exemplary of a schizoid person. The fear of action is distinctly avoidant. Schizoids are less sensitive to social emotions like praise and devaluation.
@@plainlyjane6540 no fear or deep emotions, just apathy and paranoia. Things aren't deleted because of fear or anxiety of others perceptions. Simply because the "interest" has to be mustered up and the potential of others to know things about oneself is undesirable. Through text and language personal tid bits are offered and people can read into and potentially find out about a person through this. knowledge of personals belongs to the owner of said personals. "This knowledge is mine and I don't want people to have it in their heads".
After doctoring the text to remove any particular "personhood" to what was written; Satiating the desire for isolation in anonymity, (even in connotation, nuance and choice of words.). After already hurdling the barrier of "interest" in the first round, it appears a second time in "care". most often, not.
TL:DR. not afraid or anxious. Just pervasive and debilitating "lack of interest".
I think the most annoying thing for schizoids is that "normies" take it personally. They take zero time to educate themselves on SPD (instead assume it means schizophrenic) and just think the schizoid person is being rude or dismissive. If people would just recognize that it is what it is and there is nothing personal about it, "relationships" with others would be easier on both ends. I think the stress people put behind us to socialize is frustrating and only makes us want to retreat further into our own little world of solitude. It seems more socially acceptable for someone to lie to get out of an obligation/invite than just tell the truth. Personally, I just tell the person I don't want to go/hang out/etc. and would rather be alone. Of course, I am an asshole for being honest. Had I been like the majority of people that produce an excuse to get out of something, the other person is totally fine with it... even if they doubt their excuse. -But- I am the one labeled with a "disorder"?!
Yeah..we aren't afraid of rejection but we just don't get it when people just can't understand what we need- which is limited interactions. So the best thing is we prefer to be alone.
Exactly. I literally need to talk it out to them one by one that it's not personal. They think that I'm being rude or just don't like them but in reality, there's no such feeling towards them really. I need to tell them "I don't hate you, you're not boring, or I don't love you less, nothing personal. it's just me, I just need to be alone."
What's wrong with being an asshole?
@Sky Doll Care to explain?
What's funny is I live in a big city and I've been bullied in most of the workplaces I've been in for being a schizoid. Everyone expects me to talk to them and share my personal life with them, ask questions about them, etc. but people just drain all my energy and I don't feel obligated to become friends with my coworkers. I shouldn't have to get personal unless I want to.
i strongly believe I have this. I used to think that I was just an introvert but with my behaviors and the ones you described, I matched every single one of them. my mom thinks that I don’t like her because I don’t talk to her as much, and it’s just because I enjoy being alone though I hate being lonely. she also points out how I never show emotions or little emotions to things. people at school tell me how I always look upset. this girl tried to invite me to her group on my first day of this new school and I sat with them for like 2 days, but I just began to sit off to myself and realized that I would prefer it that way.
i also don’t feel like i have a purpose in life and I know I do but it just doesn’t feel like it. i just hate how im only 16 missing out on my life except for I’m the barrier and the reason why it’s on pause. i look at my other classmates lives and just generally other teens and see how normal they are. they have friends even if they don’t always talk to them and are going places even if it’s not every week. they have things to talk about and probably are in relationships. i want to be regular and feel regular emotions, and i want to not always feel lost and have stable relationships with people.
even if i do talk to people or go places, i end up reverting back to the same dull emotions once before and wishing to be by myself anyhow. its just one gray life i have, and i don’t see it changing at all. that is not living. at all.
😢😢😢😢
Hi. Fellow army here. sending you love that things will get better on your end 💜
Honestly I feel like I have kind of the same thing (with a few differences). When I was in high school, I always used to sit by myself either reading or doing something on my own. I was completely entertained by what I was doing though other students found it weird because I didn't really talk much. And now in university, it's the same thing. I like being alone and usually don't hang out with people unless we have a group project. I think the difference is though for me is that I'm not completely emotionless? I am capable of showing emotion but the longer I am with someone, the more I find it hard to respond animatedly. And I think I come off as rude a lot. I think I have avoidant personality disorder but I have some similarities with this disorder as well. Im still trying to figure myself out.
First of all being a teenager sucks that's a fact. I'm currently 35, but when I was younger and lonely it was hard. I had to deal depression and emptyness, so what I'm gonna tell you is that it can get better, even though it's not easy.
You need to embrace who you are, you'll even be able to enjoy the company of others and they'll understand after a while that you need your own space.
Also you have to learn how to pretend to care about peoples problems sometimes, that's what they need, if you learn how to do that, they'll start to see you as person who's just quiet. Not that it matters much what other people think, but being around others will help you grow and achieve the things you want in life. You just need to learn that you can spend a few hours with others and then days by yourself and then repeat.
It took me my whole 20's to understand that what I felt was normal and that I could enjoy the company of people when they were meaningful and interesting in some way. You can be on your own and still be happy. You need to find what it is that you like in life and go for that, and we know it's not being with other people. The best way to learn how to deal with what we might have is to focus on yourself, in what you want for yourself, what it is that you need to feel good.
This is why it's harder when you're a teenager, your world is still small and you're still tied to what society thinks it's best for you. But if you keep in mind that you need to work on yourself, you'll eventualy find some peace. This will definetely enhance your ability with others.
When I was seventeen I grew tired of sitting in the corner by myself during breaks, I wanted to experience what other people liked so much about being communicative, so I decided to talk to literally everyone in school, people found it weird, but funny and bold at the same time. After a while everyone knew me and wanted to talk to me, eventually I grew tired of that and started to get back to my normal, people would come after me but I could choose with whom I would interacte more. It was an achievement, an experience which made me feel good about myself, then I dropped it and moved on to new things in life.
I see people who like to be alone as individuals who need to accept that they want to be alone, to work on themselves, to develop and have experiences. We're happy as long as we're growing, and the fact that we don't like to be around other people very often is that unfortunately we need people that makes us challenge ourselves, they need to be more interesting than ourselves (even when we think we're not that interesting).
I'm not gonna say it's easy, but understanding that made me learn how to deal with the times I'm feeling low as I know what's missing. I know I need to be constantly doing something that will demand from myself, the thrill of working on myself feels really great, and being alone is perfect for that.
I don't know, hope this can help a least a bit.
I feel like i have the same thing but mine is internal. Its like i force myself to do things and to act like i have emotions so people wont think im weird. Its a mask. Ive always been a floater when it comes to friends. Im good at molding to become peoples friends cause i dont have a natural state of being.
3 things at y'all for information/input:
1. Self diagnosis is not reliable and can be harmful when you end up claiming a disorder that you dont actually have, because it might lead to destructive self medication or misrepresentation of the disorder infront of others that might stigmatize the disorder further or make people that actually have it feel invalid/confused. It's alright to research, but don't say that you are "figuring yourself out" please. If you think you might be affected, visit a professional and get a proper diagnosis. It's alright to write about how you feel and that you think you have a disorder, but please dont say "i have this" when you are not diagnosed.
2. SzPD does not mean beaing completely emotionless. Schizoids aren't robots. They can feel lonely and happy and excited, it's just much rarer or less intense.
3. Describing your behaviour of ditching people for alone time is fine, but what matters more is how you feel (ironically). Do you actually want to be left alone most of the time? Do you feel stressed/drained if you spend to much time with people? Do you feel pressured and stressed out if someone that you have been interacting with on a superficial level (for fun or for filling the bit of social need that you might still have) is trying to actually get close to you? Self diagnosis isn't a great idea but it's not just the observable behavious that is important, but also your subjective experience. If you ditch people because you are anxious about how to interact with them, if you are scared of making a fool of yourself infront of them or smth, that might point more towards avoidant personality disorder for example.
Where's my Schizoid gang at? 🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀
Get away from me
I LOVE this comment lol
Fucking asshole, I love you.
That's why I'll stay the farthest from you
LMAOOOOO
God I fucking hate my life although I'm trying to get away from it as much as possible
I feel this comment
This is the most spot on diagnosis for me. My entire family thinks I despise them because I have no desire for interaction or communication. My mom used to scream at me and ask me what was wrong with me because I lacked any empathy or expression to situations or things people would say. When people express emotion towards me or try to get me to show love or affection I just feel so drained and exhausted to the point where I just feel anger and frustration towards the person; not intentionally. The problem is I know what I’m doing, and I can see how it affects the other person, but I can’t physically bring myself to act any differently. My jobs have suffered so much because of this. I feel as if I’m acting every single day of my life and I get no breaks. Work conversation is just so mundane and frustrating to me I just want to scream and tell people to stop talking or trying to make conversation with me; it seems so pointless and I don’t understand how people do it or enjoy it even. I quit jobs because of this. The emotional burden is just too much on me. I have no friends, literally zero. And I have no desire to make any. I know my family sees me as such a disappointment and I don’t know what to do anymore.
I relate 💯💯 Ive even considered taking on a night shift job where social interaction is more limited and I can sleep through the day when most of the world is awake
There are many reasons why I haven't done this but they're all to do with not being allowed basically and being restricted by family members obligations
I think it was Heinlein who said schizoid personality is pandemic in the physical sciences because test tubes and lab rats are so much easier to get along with than people. Do you have any technical interests that could become a career?
They're 'meh' personified.
Pretty much
People never quite get that when I say "okay" to their attempts to talk to me that I'm not trying to be a dick, or being bitchy or edgy... I'm just trying to end the interaction as quickly as possible so that I can go back to not interacting with people :P
What if I still enjoy interacting, but only with a few *certain* people?
And if I’m schizoid, does that mean that I can’t genuinely *love* somebody?
@@dj3us Most of what neurotypicals (NTs) think or say about schizoids doesn't make much sense. Most NTs assume that frequent (and often mostly meaningless) social interactions are a meaning of life, so they heavily depend on their social interactions. It is hard for NTs to realize that being a schizoid is actually a gift, an edge and a significant advantage, especially in today's society.
Can u have schozoid snd autism same time
Loved being alone for nearly all the time I’ve been alive. Have or have had maybe 2 close friends that I fear I am losing due to this. Not wanting or having the desire to meet up with them and since leaving school I hardly ever see them anymore. The time spent with them has just reduced and they just don’t bother asking me if I want to meet up with them anymore which makes me feel like a bad person because obviously it’s my fault.
Literally all I do is go to work and go to my grandmas and when I’m at home I just sit in my room on CZcams or play video games.
What’s annoying is that I miss school now because I was forced to be there and was a time where I was actually interacting with people. I hated it at the time but only in hindsight I realise I miss it because now I hardly see anyone.
It’s all confusing cause I want to be alone because of this condition but I want to feel “normal” at the same time. I wish I had the desire to be with friends and go clubbing but it just doesn’t bring me joy. I wish I wanted to be in a loving relationship but I just can’t take it seriously and whenever people seem to like me or take interest in me I just think “why?”
Sorry for the long comment but if anyone actually read it I just wanted to type this in case anyone relates and for myself to get it out of my head and in public because anonymously on CZcams would be the only way lol
Exactly same but younger
I just cannot stop dreaming.I cannot concentrate on studies etc
You're not alone bro! We're in the same boat!
Have you been diagnosed? Because your literally describing how my life has been for the last 8 years, I’m thinking I should be tested.
doubt you’ll see this but relate to this so much, especially the csnt take a gf serious part. i literally just can’t, and ik what u mean… lol. why are we like this
If you are afraid of losing your friends you are probably noy Schizoid, so there is that.
I have the official diagnosis - you're description is spot on. Just got back to school to learn a new profession and by far the hardest part of it is the social interaction within the group. The courses and exams are not a problem but sustaining group interaction for a whole day is a real challenge. Therapy can give you tools to be able to fake successful social interactions short-term but it's impossible to keep up the act for very long so the SPD always become apparent sooner or later, as the energy level gets drained more and more the silence and blunted affect resurface. So the people you tried to befriend feel betrayed by the sudden shift of attitude and it creates ressentment. And if you just refuse to make any effort because it's too demanding, then you get shunned day one. So one way or the other it's a real big obstacle to life success. No wonder most people with SPD just give up having any ambition in an attempt to conserve energy.
If you're diagnosed-
Hello, im diagnosed spd, i wanted to find a schizoid in therapy to talk to and ask questions or compare
You can benefit too maybe you can ask whatever, I've been in therapy for a year, comment here for contact info if interested.
@@Kgnsbdj Did you stay silent with people a bunch of times for no reason and if so how this works in your mind? What kind of thing you think?
Wow, thanks! You hit the nail right on the head! That is me spot-on!
It seems a person with SPD would not really care whether they get “shunned” or not within a social group.
@@Aerosol_Masking I do not care about being shunned on a personal level, but having to complete a course with mandatory group asignments when all your collegue hate you or openly mock you makes everything much harder. So SPD people tend to have low life success level because careers won't adcance unless one engage in the social theater.
I am still waiting to meet a single "normal" person in this thing called life. God help us all
What is normal to you lol
Haha we all have a bit of every single disorder.
No one is normal.
Nobody is normal, they are all just broken in different ways.
I’m normal
I've been diagnosed with this. I just simply prefer being alone and find others to be annoying and needy.
Same
Ok so you are an introvert, whats wrong with that?
@@leifkhas7425 for me, the only person that I’m close to is my self; or to be exact my fantasy world and what I imagine myself to be.
@@wibolium9639 The self is when you can truly be comfortable.
@@leifkhas7425 I would have if people had more courage.
I was diagnosed with SPD last year but I've had those symptoms since I was a child so with time I got really good at faking it around others. Not many people understand why I don't want to get married and be constantly around other people. They always think I can "get better" with time.
Ugh... the faking it is so annoying. I've had to set some very blunt boundaries with people.
Faking is strange. Sometimes I get really into it and when I'm done interacting with that person I get so tired.
It's hard to keep up with "nornal" people. They have instincts and intuit things that I have to logic through to simulate. They are full of goals, whims, and complex social games... all of which it is almost impossible to care about. 😋
I would say that faking it to pass as normal can be very tempting at times. Alienation is the closest thing to loneliness that I feel. Sometimes it is kind of nice to not be as different as everyone else... even though it can't last and is draining.
Y understand you because I'm schizoid toó. Sorry,my english is not very good. Greetings from Argentina.
I'm nearly fifty years old and have always struggled socially and financially. Over the past year, i have become convinced that i have SPD. I fit the criteria, but have been unable to get a formal diagnosis, as the psychiatric services here work extremely slowly. In addition, I have severe difficulties with motivation and in holding down work, even though i have a number of skills that ought to make me employable. i don't think i have the same internal reward system that most people seem to, so that i feel largely neutral about my achievements on those rare occasions that i actually complete a project.
And you don't need to worry about that.
Well that sounds exactly like me, especially having a different internal reward system. I think the reward system for most people is just more stuff and status which is clearly just drivel. Maybe you're actually more evolved?
I was diagnosed with SPD, however the one thing that confuses me is that I don’t really have a flat affect but pretty much everything else checks out as it did in the diagnosis. I don’t feel warmth from compliments but say thank you out of politeness. My social circle is my immediate family and if it does branch out I only talk to an occasional romantic partner. I don’t really care to befriend their friend circle because I don’t feel like adding their drama to my life (and believe me, they usually bring a fuccck ton of drama). If the relationship ends, I don’t have a reaction to it and move on with my solitary lifestyle as if nothing happened. I can easily function in social surroundings but really need alone time afterwards because it leaves me feeling absolutely fucking drained. My favorite activities are playing video games, watching CZcams videos, and making mixed drinks out of whatever comes to mind whilst listening to metal. All things I most prefer doing alone in my home
Definitely can related to that!! Other people and their drama is intolerable at this point. Won't show up to holidays, weddings, etc... idgaf... personal space is non negotiable...
Screw people and their needy a$$es... like a dog humping your leg!!! Ew, go away! Lol 😂
The last part is perfecto 😂
Im a self diagnosed schizoid. I truly have no desire to connect with anyone, whether it be friendship, family or romantic.
I don't mind people for 5 minutes but I couldn't care less about getting to know someone.
I only make an effort with work colleagues because past experiences have shown me to at least put a mask on. Otherwise I attract unwanted attention.
People say I'm a closed book, hard to get to know but the truth is I have nothing to say.
I have a good sense of humour and can get on with most people but I don't go beyond that. I simply have no desire to connect with anyone.
I have no fears, desires, anxieties whatsoever. I'm aimless like a robot waiting to be given commands.
When people get emotional I don't know what to do, or care to respond. I'll just walk away and come back when your in a good mood.
66kaisersoza same
you can't self diagnose personality disorders, period.
"I only make an effort with work colleagues because past experiences have shown me to at least put a mask on. Otherwise I attract unwanted attention."
Or the ire and retaliation of those who feel rejected.
@@copycat7657 I don't mean in the literal sense
@@copycat7657 yeah, only psychiatrists can read books and when they see you for 10 minutes to diagnose you based on their standardized tick-box-questionaire, they know all about you. of course you can self-diagnose if you don't just read the diagnostic criteria, but do your research. i'm the expert of my condition. some professionals don't even know the term(!) schizoid PD and many more don't really know what a schizoid is. even the dsm and icd don't do that properly, as has been criticized by many, and rightfully so.
This reminds me of the cartoon character “Daria” which just happens to be one of my all time favorite characters. I can probably relate to her more than anyone I know in real life.
"I actively work to make people dislike me, so I won't feel bad when they do". Many times she admits that she is afraid of being rejected or criticized аnd many times she shows severe frustration when there are problems with friends and relationships. She is also very sensitive up to psychosomatic manifestations. I think this is not a classic schizoid. Or possibly comorbid with avoidant disorder.
@@laracroftvideos I love that show. I have the complete DVD collection of every episode.
Thank you! I thought it was just another name for schizophrenia. Thanks for all you do with mental health education.
I love your blouse too 🙂
Stacey Romero same
G
Thank you for taking time to educate yourself.
This disorder is NOT the same as schizophrenia. Keep researching my friend
@@kippykimber3170 key word: "thought".
Yep, this is 100% me. I have always felt different from others. I have never really liked being around others.
I hope you found the video a bit helpful :) xoxo
Self diagnosed?
Same that for avoidants and all across the board in the spectrum of mental health. The first rule is the best rule. Take care of yourself first. It's the only way to good health. The only person you can ever control is YOU and YOU ONLY! Live Like It!
I like the final part when you said that nobody can push the schizoid to get help if they are ok with that. I like it to be alone, I always have been like this and I didn't had a trouble since a few months ago that I started to go to therapy and discovered SPD... I think that I needed to hear that :)
What do you do about sex ?
@@TheVideoLounge sex? What is it?
@@alexandrakulanova5722 Exactly, it was a genuine question and it may be uncomfortable but it's probably one of the most important things that we have to deal with.
I don't know how it is for females, but for males it's like you're almost constantly hungry, you can satisfy it for a while but then it soon comes back again.
I heard Ski Zoid won a gold medal at the robot Winter Olympics.
My shizzle!
😂
That is awesome lol
thank you for this video. my 25 yr old son has this disorder. i've known he was different since age 5 but he's highly intelligent so everyone used that as an excuse to explain him being "different". he hasn't left the house in years and two years ago i made him go see a psychiatrist one time (hoping he'd go more) and she diagnosed him with SPD. ever since that day i had answers to his whole life. i now understand (as much as someone without the disorder can) him and we actually get along. he smiles now - real smiles. and he does a little small talk now. i am sad he won't experience life like i'd hoped but i'm happy knowing he's relaxed and happy now. i still have hope he'll step out into the world again and be around others.
Hello, reminds me a little of my case, even i believed that my differance from people was caused by my intellegance, im 25 and im looking for schizoids in therapy to share or compare expiriences, if your son is in therapy and also interested comment back to please, im diagnosed and in therapy for 1 year
Sometimes though it is possible to be a combination of high functioning autism, avoidant personality disorder and Schizoid or a combination of any two. I think there aren't always clear cut black and white boundaries as, for example, social avoidance and social anxiety could eventually lead to schizoid, as a coping mechanism. It's a very tricky one and questionable as to whether some of it is actually genetic, in influence. Perhaps throughout history there have always been loners, those that find people and crowds to be mentally draining and it's often a trait of certain creative types as well. It's a tricky one because the less social skills one has, the more they can be shunned by others, the more challenging, frustrating and stressful they can find it and so they withdraw from others most of the time or even get so absorbed in their creative work/projects. Sometimes it's a case of putting some allocated time a side, per week, for being with other 'people' otherwise one could totally loose touch.
I think this is me...
I feel like this is me and I enjoy it. I'm never attached to anyone and I don't feel much for others. I have no interest in making friends or hanging out with people, I'm fine and dandy by myself. I do love my mum and she's one of the only people I'm close to but I really don't feel attached to her like I should do.
I only ever feel attachment and real emotions around animals. Maybe I'm autistic.
There was this guy I met that I thought he was a psychopath. He was so calm and expressionless, his eyes were almost dead. He didn't seem to have a problem with staring into my eyes for a very long time. But at the same time he didn't seem as someone who's dangerous, but I did feel very uncomfortable. He was also very comfortable with silence, too comfortable but I wasn't so I kept talking lol. He didn't seem to be aggressive nor he showed any sign of having a bad past with hurting people or animals, he in fact very much likes cats. He was just so passive and uninterested in anything but sex, he wasn't even trying to manipulate me or force me into having it, he was actually very respectful. Is it possible that he had Schizoid personality disorder and not Antisocial personality disorder?
kiss4strawberry I think I met the same guy lol
Sounds right
I dated someone exactly the same, it's scary. He was so comfortable with silence and that's what I loved about him, but when I expressed any topic related to feelings he didn't have anything to say back which was hurtful to me. He told me he thought he had autism.
I am a schizoid and I m comfortable with silence and I love cats😂
I recently knew about this "disorder" and I'm thinking maybe I fall into this category. My family member used to tell me I was like an emotionless robot or machine. but I didn't believe it because I thought I had something like emotion. I get angry, I get sad, I get happy. However I must admit I always feel overwhelmed by how emotional 99% of other humans are. I don't have that much amount of emotion. I haven't been another person so I can't compare myself to others. To me, I'm normal. I'm entirely content with myself. but at the same time, it looks like other people are always raging or frantic.
Probably I wouldn't have any problem even if I live in a space craft by myself without meeting anyone for decades. I'm like a plant. What frustrates (in my standard) me is that people see me sad or depressed or lone when I'm totally happy with the solitude in the beautiful nature or quietness. This is probably how I learnt how to force myself to pretend to be emotional and I started developing OCD.
I relate heavily to this. From a distance, a lot of humans seem very reactive at first sight. The world tends to condition folks to act with an impulse instead of thinking it thoroughly.
Watch Ad Astra with Brad Pitt who is a schizoid astronaut
You always upload the perfect thing when I'm researching it, thank you!
Yay! xoxo
Interestingly enough,
My wife drives me deeper into my Schizoid because she always wants me to respond with feelings and we get into a big argument. I can’t say the truth nor is it acceptable to her,
Also, the popularity and benefits of Stoicism is making a big comeback!
@Mary Carroll Why would any of what op says imply ops wife is “narcissistic”?
@Mary Carroll I didn’t suggest you weren’t just asking. My question was what in ops comment led you to wonder about op’s answer to that particular question.
7:24 is the most important and best part.
Because the rest of it can seem like putting a label of "personality disorder" and "distortions" on someone who's different but not doing anything bad nor hindered by who they are. I've found this true for a couple of other personality disorders.
If the person doesn't mind it and they're not actually hurting anyone or society, I don't call it a disorder cause it's not a problem.
unfortunately, a part of this disorder is that everything seems fine when its not.
this sounds like one of the many responses to trauma. do you think most "disorders" are certain clusters of symptoms that are responses to environment (trauma) ?
I think a lot of mental illnesses can be caused or exacerbated by trauma, but there wasn't much information available about the cases of SPD... I will look into it more!! xoxo
There are not alot of studies or resources for people with SPD because they rarely seek treatment and their negative symptoms tend to not cause very many life events that trigger encounters with therapy. I can also imagine that SPD is hard to treat and study because the apathetic nature of the disorder can be a huge obstacle for clinicians to make progress.
There are indications of both environmental and biological factors for SPD. There is a statistically significant increase in SPD diagnosis among families with a history of Cluster A diagnosis (especially schizophrenia.)
In my personal experience, SPD and trauma go hand in hand but not in the way that most people think. SPD predisposes the individual to trauma by robbing them of the four things neccesary for resiliancy: a strong support system, personal emotional insight, pleasurable pursuits to engage in for self care, and the ability to clearly express oneself to others when things are going wrong.
SPD and trauma often go hand in hand, as Mike said, but he is incorrect that the usual causal relationship is of SPD --> trauma. This is not true, to the point it's the complete opposite.
Trauma is an early experience for many SPD patients, in fact from their childhood in the form of abuse and neglect - before ANYONE can adequately possess the four things he mentioned, nor should they be expected to, because they are a child. A child is incapable of those things which is why they are protected and cared for in the first place, and can't be said to be "predisposed" to trauma.
*There is a significant number of child abuse cases in SPD patients which is why trauma is thought to be a factor that causes SPD* (child learns she cannot depend on parental/guardian figures who are supposed to protect/love her, hence she becomes self sufficient and independent of relationships, social interaction, needs a lot of alone time, etc).
Of course there are people who didn't have much trauma as a child who developed SPD, and he might be right that SPD individuals may fail to create a support system around them that would be helpful when a trauma does occur to them. But to say that that is the primary and distinguishing relationship between trauma and schizoid personality would be very wrong.
You can google more but here are a couple links just on top of my head:
scielo.isciii.es/pdf/ejpen/v24n1/original4.pdf specifically page 41 (4/8). Psychosocial Determinants-Poor Parenting, Neglect, Rejection and Abuse of Children
qr.ae/TUGme0 Quora answer written by a psychologist who wrote a book on SPD
Rishi Eastwood In my experience, it's actually been the opposite.
That seems like a likely explanation. In my case, I gradually became anhedonic after several occurrences of extreme emotional trauma throughout my life. I'm not certain that SPD would accurately fit me in my youth, but it certainly fits me in adulthood.
Tonight starts my first night of college. Im doing medical assisting and i will have a psychology class. Im ready lol. Thanks Kati for all your videos
Yay!! You are going to be great!! xoxo
You ARE aware that Medical assistants are expected to interact with patients and coworkers almost CONSTANTLY?And they expect"nice" affect...
@@Katimorton Are you nuts? This poor creature is in for a very rude wake up call!! Do you have ANY ACTUAL credentials? Being schitzoid is NOT enough to SAFELY give medical advice!!!!
I am told by my mom that I was a little ray of sunshine as a child.
However I completely changed over time
I'm 53 now and only recently realised that I slowly lost my sunshine as I wasn't loved as a child. I grew up with angry parents who had a hands off approach to child rearing
I was never hugged and never heard the words "I love you"
My moms family were the same to us.
But..its ok..
I'm just glad I finally understand myself.
Also..I love my mom..she's old and knows she could have done better.
We're friends now.God heals the broken pieces.
I feel like I've developed it being 19 or 20. I always considered myself to be shy and just lacking in social skills. After researching, most disorders were hit and miss as far as diagnosis goes. Later, I read about "schizoid pd" form some random forum and I've basically 'ticked' all the boxes in the diagnosis section. I'm 23 and even though I've hanged out with people, I've never considered them as friends nor really cared about them. My own father seems like a stranger to me and I basically have no feelings for any person in my family. Girlfriend is not a possibility. I'd say the worst thing about this disorder is that people don't believe that there is anything wrong with you and that you should simply try harder to gain social skills. It's truly the worst feeling where you're isolated from people and yet you feel good about it.
This disorder begins at infancy and escalates from there, usually you would feel something is off at s young age
@@Kgnsbdj I definitely did always fell like I don't fit in or lack social skills. It became very apparent at 18-19 when I had to live with roomates. Before that, I could easily evade interacting with people.
@@ARG23supreme im diagnosed with it and i do therapy, u can try too, let me know if u do try and actually get diagnosed
@@Kgnsbdj Which therapy have you found to be effective ?
Thank you. I dated someone for four years who I suspect had this and bipolar disorder. He knows that he doesnt feel emotions and doesn't see a problem. The manic episodes gave him the closest thing to desire that he could get to regarding sexuality, but it wasn't desire in a physical sense.
Over time, I couldn't even try anymore because he had no remorse for h7rting me again and again. I cut ties.
He believes himself unable to be in any kind of friendship or relationship and barely engages with family.
I wish him well.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience.. and I am so sorry you had to go through that. xoxo
Sorry to hear your experience and very glad you've shared this with us.
Thank you, Lisa for your forgiving attitude. I think that's huge of you!
First i was like oh shit I think I have this and then I remembered I'm the most depressed person I know
Yikes
Depression and SPD aren't mutually exclusive. Schizoids are commonly depressed.
Do I need bob the builder to fix this
Having comorbid anxiety issues makes SPD really difficult in a lot of ways. My social anxiety often leads people to get the wrong idea about me. Even more troubling, it gives them a window into what feels like my soul, which I would never give, had I the choice. I just want to be able to portray the indifference I feel internally, but to do it in a way which maintains the barriers between self and other I need while not being maladaptive in terms of professional outcome. My anxiety is completely extraneous to my desires. It's a compression artifact, an autonomous function which has gone off the rails. I'm constantly balancing this irrational desire to perform "well" socially with the desire to just be left alone, while battling constant societal messaging and imagery telling me that what I want is wrong and unnatural. It's exhausting. Completely and utterly exhausting.
whoa….. same. whoa..
Nailed it again. Thank you. You're so awesome
So glad you enjoyed it and found it helpful!!! YOU are awesome!! xoxo
This video came at such a good time. A close friend of mine called me the other night and said he thinks he might have this. Which is odd for him to do that because he never talks about having any “problems”. Sounds very accurate to his symptoms though, thank you for this!!
I have SPD and for years i tought i had ASPD while faking my diagnosis to be ASD. But i knew one thing for sure, ive always been so much diffrent towards other kids, i never understood why people were laughing for stuff and why people took in pets and such things, and my parents hated me being so emotionaly cold. So i hate them for trying to change me and complaining about how im not how they wished i was. as soon as i can get a job ill live on my own, never see them again and perhaps go for a carreer. I just like how you told ppl at the end to let us be who we are. Its bad for evryone to do otherwise. Cheers
Thank you for making people with SPD not look weird
I've never really looked into SPD but it's kind of spot on in it's description. I actually couldn't have described myself better lol but i will say this.. Not giving much of a reaction to others strong reaction ( like bullies) can lead to violence. I've experienced this through the years. They try to bully.. You don't care.. They respond with physical violence.. kind of like that.. thank you for making these videos.. And you are right.. I'm not gonna go to a therapist lol
It's basically the opposite of Avoidant Personality Disorder, I don't understand why they would be collapsed together. Avoidant people are overly concerned with other people and don't feel worthy of healthy relationships. But they long for them, painfully, daily. SPD people are fairly cool with being alone; AvPD never are but don't have the self esteem to be able to interact. It's one of those things that if you don't have it, it's nearly impossible to understand. When SPD are alone, they're getting what they want and need, but because AvPD have to be alone, they will never get what they want and need. They might look similar on the surface, but they really are opposites.
Kindsey Rowe I hope you seek a diagnosis. It's scary, but don't ever assume you've got something without checking into it. For instance, you might have avoidant traits that could be treated with CBT. At any rate, therapy could help you sort out your actual life priorities (as opposed to media representations of what we should want) and what sorts of things to look for in other people to find the ones that you are more compatible with. Good luck. :)
Thank you so much for sharing!!! I honestly think they are seen as connected because not all mental health professionals spend enough time with people before trying to diagnose them. Thank you for laying out the differences so plainly. xoxo
God I'm the same with relationships and I've identified with traits of all 3 of those diagnoses
There is considerable overlap and many schizoids have avoidant traits, the medical establishment is also considering dropping SPD and diagnosing schizoids as either avoidant or schizotypal. It's not as simple as schizoids feeling comfortable being alone and avoidants hating being alone - many schizoids for example are ambivalent about their social isolation. The key difference is that schizoids are highly aloof and detached, but these two disorders are definitely not opposites.
ck2d you are wrong. Schizoids are also highly anxious and trust me I do care about what others think of me to an extreme extent, I just don’t have the desire to connect like an avoidant, true it makes me able to handle being alone but deep down I don’t want to live like this, I’d die just to be normal and relate with humans and feel emotions even for a short time and this really is the feeling that is at the core of every schizoid.
I want to say thank you for the part where you said it is important to not try to change them.
My (not ex) wife, when I was diagnosed, just would not let up on wanting to "fix" me, and that pretty much broke any form of trust I had towards her, and well, was part of the reason we are no longer together. And even though my therapist even explained that you shouldn't force a type of treatment, she couldn't let it go.
There were also other problems, too, so I'm not going to say that this alone was the cause, but it was one of the final straws. And I have no ill will towards her, she and I just weren't compatible.
But I'm rambling, but really do appreciate you being clear that you shouldn't force the change or treatment.
Love your channel,very educational and easy to understand...btw can you make a video about schizoaffective disorder someday? Thank you so much for sharing!
I remember a few years back trying to figure out what the hell was wrong with me. I stumbled upon info about SPD and when I read up on it, I just hanged my head. It's gotten worse over the years. I meet ALL of the markers for SPD. Every single one of them, including the sub category ones that weren't in this video. Even my one close friend and my dad, whom I'm pretty close to have had to bear the brunt of my SPD. I don't really know where to go or what to do. Cant afford therapy right now. Feels like I'm just waiting to die. Maybe I'm just distancing myself from important people so when I go they'll already be used to me being gone.
No honey you have been in survival mode for so long that you don't realize that you are in survival mode anymore.
What a life changing video. All my life I've struggle to love my mother when she comes across as cold and uninterested in me or my life. She regulary says hurtful things that leave me angry. I will cerainly be more understanding from now on. She had an awful childhood. Thanks Kati.
Oh shit
This sounds like me ...I just heard about this
But like ...it could be autism
I think that I do care about what other people think
But I'm not sure
My feelings are a bit robotic ...I feel like I'm in control of them except for when I feel overwhelmed
I never made a connection with another person
But I always blamed it on being different
If I found someone who is like me then maybe i could connect with them
I stopped taking to people after highschool and I dont feel loneliness
I dont miss people
My mom said that I just drew in kindergarten and didn't talk to the other kids so I was born with this but I did stop caring about my grades in highschool
But it was a depressive episode caused by headaches that made it really difficult to sit in class
I felt like there were too many obstacles and made myself stop caring
Now I didn't have any friends for two years and I don't know if it's bothering me
But I might not be putting in effort to change because i just gave up because i don't know how to find someone who is like me
I think that my lack of interest isn't in relationships but in everybody I ever met and think that I might meet
I'm procainating because I'm afraid that I won't find anyone
I'm just not interested in socializing the same way everybody else does
I'm nice but basic politeness and caring about what is right doesn't make me fun
the best advice i have being schizoaffective is for psychosis, talk yourself through it. i couldn't get help during my psychosis today except for people that i was unwilling to ask for help from, so i had to talk myself through it. it sucks and it's embarassing, it's confusing, but hearing my own voice guide me through it helps a lot. this is NOT a joke.
I remember learning about SPD in my abnormal psych class a couple years ago in college but it was great to learn more and be reminded!
Is it weird that I like being not well adjusted socially?
No
I like to think of it as a unique perspective on the world
No
No.
It used to be called independence and strength of character. But of course, nowadays a shrink would tell you otherwise (if only you pay them).
0:02 this is the moment “schizoid personality disorder” became “ski-zoid personality disorder”
Interesting. Last year my therapist diagnosed me at first with paranoid personality disorder but when he asked me more about how i feel, what i like to do and if have any real connections or goals in life, he came up with this disorder. To be honest, it makes more sense to me. I always prefer solitary activities, don‘t desire close relationships and the main emotion i feel is rather indifference than paranoia. Apparently it’s true, it’s very easy to misdiagnose personality disorders. Thanks for this video, it helps 👍
Family member has this and I'm trying to learn. 💖 thank you so much.
Being unfazed by provocation and criticism seems like a valuable life skill. SPD doesn't seem like a disorder. Thanks for pointing out the difference between SPD and Avoidant personality disorder
i have NO relationships except family that lives with me...i dont talk anyone outside if i dont have too
Good - people are rubbish - stay away from them.
@make foxhound great again no
@make foxhound great again i find that fixing things is better than talking to people
@make foxhound great again no i dont think do...i am paranoid people are talking about me be i dont hear voices in my head or anything
@make foxhound great again maybe im a secret schizoids
Although it is a disorder I see a positive side to it. I feel like the person always keeps their guard up, and personally it got me closer to my religion because when times are tough, the only one around me is the God I believe in. It also taught me patience because whenever I’m angry I don’t go off screaming. And I am accepting too.
whenever you mention any symptoms in any video I'm immediately like: "wait, I occasionally feel vaguely similar to what you just described!!!!1!!!1 AM I BROKEN"
Sometimes I hate that human brains are made to look for patterns.....
Same
.
We arent broken.
Umm... so there is a name for this this Barnum effect.
Give people a vague description like a horoscope and they agree with them.
5 of 7 symptom fits me
@Sadie Bedard spd is largely based on the internal experience of the person rather than the outward symptoms shown. it's very important to do extensive research before deciding that you even might have it. at that point see a professional. do not self diagnose. many people who fit the symptoms do not have the disorder.
This is very brief. You should look up the wikipedia page on SPD. Much better information on this disorder. Looked up a lot of symptoms and checked every single one of them.
I love you Kati!
Even the cat struggles to get my attention! Meds for anxiety and depression, therapy and meditation and mindfulness have helped me a lot and I totally stay away from narcissists as much as possible as they suck us dry. Time alone in reflection and in meditation is healing. But it is a journey for sure.
I love that you write everything you talk about in the description, it’s really helpful so thank you for doing that, I really appreciate it😊❤️
Side note, I was wondering if u could do a video on the connections between Tourette’s and OCD, or just similarities and differences between the two.
I've been diagnosed with both avoidant personality disorder and schizoid personality disorder. I have most of the symptoms of schizoid personality disorder, but I'm not sure that is what I have. I do care about how I come across, and I do have some desire to socialize. I'm not apathetic about some things, but I pride myself on my objectivity.
So this whole time I've been pronouncing it "skit-zoid"
That seems to be a UK pronunciation... it is at least a common variant.
You are pronouncing it right. It is pronounced like the "schiz" in Schizophrenia
Which is the right way to pronounce it. This lady is completely full of shit. She is a "Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist" which means she know's jackshit about us
Its actually the correct pronunciation tbh
Never heard this “skeezoid” pronunciation before. I’m going to another one of her videos to see if she says “skeezophrenia.” I bet not.
I am diagnosed with both SPD and Autism. The autism part is the overstimulation, truth over feelings and info dumping and the SPD part is mostly the not caring about what other people think. Born without stage fear. :)
Thank you for making this!
You are so welcome :) xoxo
5:19 she means “asocial” not antisocial.
I find that most people make the mistake of confusing the colloquial and technical definitions of the term.
Eventually, without passion or joy or interest or fulfillment, Life becomes very meaningless, grey and boring. I realized in my mid 30's when my Ma - the person who I was 'closest' to - comes to visit and after 5 mins of Small Talk I absolutely nothing to say to her, can't dig within and find a single relatable commonality with her.
And I realized if I couldn't with her, I couldn't with anyone. And now my isolation was no longer a choice, it was an Island I may never be able to return from....
I went from having AvPD to SPD in which I developed as a coping mechanism
It's probably off topic but I absolutely love your blouse😍 (?) I think it's called that. But yeah, great video🤗
Thanks!! I just got it off of ebay! haha!! xoxo
Shaxxy very colorful top...i agree. 💐flowers are awesome!
Kati Morton which store I like to purch. 1 for my wife.
hi
I thought the same thing! It's very pretty.
This syndrome could be harmful because, for example, if you accidentally spill coffee on someone, when the person shows "embarrassment" (such as blushing, stuttering,sweating, apologizing ), it shows that they realized they committed a social faux pas and they regret it (it also shows that they're not willing to do it again in the future and that they want to conform to social norms) . Thus, people are most likely to forgive them. When the person who spilled coffee gives off "meh, I don't care" vibes, people are least likely to forgive them and might even reject them.
I did actually spill coffee over someone in a restaurant one time and felt extremely embarrassed 😂😂 so I guess I don’t have schizoid
I haven’t heard about this. Thanks Kati
You are so welcome!! xoxoxo
I’m certain my husband has this. We live like roommates with little communication from him and it drove me crazy for a couple years. He’s not affectionate and doesn’t get concerned about me like I do him. I’m a hugger and I need to talk about things that bother me. I don’t bother anymore and now I have a name and realize he’s not ignoring me or being a jerk gives me some comfort. I feel alone all the time even when we are together. He doesn’t know how to hold a conversation with me or anyone. I do all the talking. He does it with his parents, when we visit they just talk to me and he just sits there. I kept thinking he just doesn’t care about me but he insists he does. I’m not going to worry with it anymore. He’s really odd lol. He has no comprehension skills and he gets frustrated when we discuss things. He talks in circles and confuses the heck out of me. He’s to quiet and I’m a talker. LOL
How did you two end up together?
SPD Didn't Break me.
It Fixed Me.
Pee pee poo poo
Diagnosed with SPD here. It's not like we don't crave intimacy in some way, but it's often times alot better in our head than it is in real life. I sometimes would like to have a gf, and when i see other couples, it can actually make me somewhat lonely. But whenever i seek out a romantic relationship, i always end up getting very dissapointed.
It's starting to seriously affect the outcome of my life. I wish there was something I could do for myself.
Thanks a lot Kate for the video! 👍
I have recenrly been diagnosen by SzPD and I am devastated! I have lost all my hope for the future. 😢 I have been in therapy for almost 18 months and none of my therapist was bothered to diagnose me until I explicitely asked for it. Due to lack of therapist, I have session once per two weeks and sometimes only once per month. I have changed my therapist three times. First time after 4 months, because my therapist talked more than I, at one 60 minutes session I said only seven sentences including greetings. Second time due to absence of my therapist, as I have few times only one session per month and I was left in the very bad state for long period of time due to not properly closed difficult topics and few times was my session even cancelled in the morning of the same day. The last time it will be in January, as my current therapist is leaving the clinic and I will need to repeate myself again to the new therapist. It is becoming very exhausting to build the trust with new therapist over and over, and I do not how long the next one will stay. I am asking myself whether it makes sense to continue if there is no consistency in therapy. It is very difficult.
You should actually speak to one of us. While accurate on a good deal of this. You seem to imply at times in the video that our main issue dealing with emotions is the inability to properly show the emotions we feel.
Those with full blown spd, emotions feel numbed as if feeling silk through a plastic glove. And the ability to control the degree of how much we feel those emotions. Very much the "turn it down or off" idea. Its less the inability to express the emotions and more. The lack of influence of the numbed emotions that may or may not be present.
Those who understand what it is. Can assemble different modes. Like controling the rgb hues in photoshop etc. Allowing them to craft different personas for different groups of people.l
The persona thing really hit the nail on the head. Its really hard to explain to me, I've always just explained it as wearing a different mask for each group of people, but I think the tweaking the colors in photoshop is a bit more accurate. Its also why I tend to keep those that I do interact with into distinct groups so that I don't have to try to wear multiple masks (or use different color presets) at the same time because that would drive me insane.
I have SPD and I really want help but I don't care you know... I just don't want to appear odd to everyone Im tired of it I want to have a family I need to be treated
I so totally appreciate you & your gifting in your profession Kati!! #BlessingsFromLompoc
Of course!! SO happy to help :) xoxo
Kati Morton hi Kati, does psychosis includes nightmares like dreaming with monsters?
As someone who's had two therapists and a neuro psychologist say "You have Schizoid Personality Disorder", but not tell me anything about it, it's nice to learn what I'm looking at. Thank you.
I finally have a name for what I thought was just my broken personality.
Thank you!
I`ve never seen any other video, where all the symptoms fit so well to me.
The problem is, I hate being numb to any situation, whether it`s good or bad, and because I don`t really care about anyone (my family included) and anything, I don`t see any reason to stay anymore...
Therapy then
How would one begin to differentiate this from chronic depression (dysthymia)? I am under the impression I may have either, especially with the research I've conducted that seems to explain that schizoid personality disorder (SPD) seems to occur on a spectrum and how chronic depression can manifest certain behaviors indicative of SPD, even more so if a major depressive episode happens.
I think this diagnosis is greatly underestimated due to misdiagnosis. Specifically, doctors diagnosing people who are Schizoids as having Asperger's. I was initially diagnosed as Asperger's, with other doctors changing the diagnosis to Schizoid much later. I think this is because psychiatrists see far more Asperger's patients than Schizoids. Schizoids seem far more likely to go through life never seeking any mental health diagnosis.
Same!
Thank you for the video. It was as informative as you are fetching and articulate.
I've recently come to the firm conclusion that, in "general", humans are irrational, impulsive, selfish, self-delusional (especially self-delusional) and can and will rationalize any thought, belief or action to suit their desires/needs or to protect their id. This is considered "normal" (i.e typical, expected, a standard, ordinary, customary, habitual etc.)
Society tells us that we, as a race, are supposed to like this "normal" condition or we have a disorder…
I find it, unrealistic that in some cases an atypically rational and aware mind that does not like this typical condition would be described as having a "schizoid personality disorder".
@@charlieneri5557 Thank you.
I have never met or communicated with anyone that had like mind. Thank you for expressing yourself. I too think that most humans don't see, think, smell or feel to the depths that we do and have an extended awareness of being and that scares them… After I wander out into the forest or the desert and go for a walkabout, I feel calmness that I never feel in the city, away from their Wi-Fi and psychic pollution. I understand nature. Humans, don't seem natural to me. I often wonder if I'm not gifted sensory in more ways than just feeling deeply etc.
Sometimes I feel polluted by their thoughts and that is what's causing my disconnect.?
Have a blessed day
@@charlieneri5557 The very 1st thing that I want to say, is that; It's Truly Okay to Be YOU. True story.
Unfortunately, we as the minority of aware persons and therefore not "normal", must endure their presence, their culture. If not comfortable, and sometimes barely tolerable. Try to understand that they are like children in some ways.
I think that the vast majority of them are more broken than they think that we are. Try to be patient with them.
Who is crazy and who is not is just majority or minority in this case, if people with mental disorder are majority then normal people are the crazy one. I'm not saying that that normal humans are perfect or fine but people with mental disorder just pretty much the same if not worse.
I have this but I'm one of the more adjusted ones and I actually learned to interact with people and know how to express myself for the most part especially over the past about 8 years.
I also have been in a relationship for almost 9 years now and that quite successful. I really don't like to deal with most people even my family members due to some issues we had over the years and I much prefer my few close friends.
I also have depression, anxiety and also PTSD.
I'm not wrong and I honestly also believe that not caring about everything is also kind of nice and freeing when I see how it affects other people.
I'm also one of the weird ones that actually have empathy while still having this disorder but I can separate other people's emotions quite easily from my own which makes me the person a lot of people around me go to when they want to talk to someone who doesn't judge them and also doesn't get hurt when they talk about harder stuff or lash put because they get overly emotional themselves. I've also met less adjusted people with SPD and they struggled a lot more than I do nowadays so I really do think that I am one of the lucky ones.
Thank you for your comment. I was also diagnosed with spd but I don't really feel like I am someone who "doesn't care" about people. I do care, just don't know how to express this most of the time, but nevertheless I have a few close people and I express to them, it actually makes me suffer not being able to be in touch so frequently and losing relationships. So reading lots of comments here such as "It is not a problem if I like to be alone" "I don't really care" kinda hurts because I am not that kind of spd person. I care, I see the problems of being a loner, it's just that I have done very little to change things up until now.
“We shouldn’t try to force someone to change. If they are jot bothered by their SPD, we shouldn’t try to make them fix something that they don’t really see as broken.”
Thank you, I had watery eyes while hearing this, because we should stop classifying people’s personality as “wrong” or “right” why a person like me, who feel numb almost all the time, is classified as someone with a bad attitude?
Because you need help but became to numb to realize it. Because you want close relationships but you re Mdd aka fantasy life keeps you in survival mode where it feeds you just enough to not go crazy because your maladaptive daydreaming is a sign that you want close relationships but you are too suspicious and have been too disappointed by other to try to go down that path again. You are sent in a state of deep depression that along with the imaginary reality keeps you in an extreme state of numbness and apathy to the point of nihilism so much so that you don't realize entirely that you want relationships only you want fulfilling one's and you are wasting your life away and potential due to the extreme lack of motivation which comes from Mdd too
My opinon when it comes to people with personalities disorders is that their never went throught proper teen angst or this period was somehow delayed. And with being a teen depression is a natural related thing. And when teen angst is delayed time of depression is streched as well and it can be a reason for making damage to the psyche. As a former person with SPD those features like sense of superiority, being behind the wall, etc. passes with time.
I have this it’s ruining my life 😔 I’m forever doomed to never be able to connect with another human being, I have family all around me and I feel no connection to them, I want to connect with people and enjoy life because I remember what it was like as a kid, but I have no emotions or anything I honestly don’t know what to do with my self, my indifference to everything is suffocating me. The bit at the end hit me hard about caring, I do see it as broken and I want to care about things because I have siblings I want to relate to but my indifference makes this impossible, do you think I could fix this ?
you can do the things just because they are suppose to be done. But the emotional connection won't happen i guess. Maybe in a moment of inspiration you can feel connected, but once that moment is over... it's again "whatever"
I dont have this disorder pretty sure, but dont look forward to seeing my family its boring to me but just have to see them or they will think I dont like them even though I feel worried they know the truth already an know its all fake but they are probably faking it too with me too
I'm definitely not a professional on the subject, so take what I say with a grain of salt haha. I've read debates on whether Schizoid Personality Disorder and Avoidant Personality Disorder are the same thing(s) or not due to having such similarities, but really there seems to be a very clear difference between the two, one of them being: People with Schizoid PD do /not/ have desire for connections & pursuing social life/etc. People with Avoidant PD /do have/ that desire but are somehow unable to pursue them, accompanied with overwhelming anxiety/depression etc. I am of course not going to armchair diagnose here and I don't know you at all, but maybe that's something to further look into and talk about with your doctors/therapist if you have not already ? I know people who have been diagnosed with one disorder but later have it revealed through second opinion with a different doctor that they had a different disorder that can get mixed up with others due to how similar they are in symptoms- especially if the doctors to diagnose it weren't an expert in that field matter, and sometimes due to doctors that find it difficult to communicate with seemingly 'impersonal' people and/or don't spend enough time with the patient before the diagnosis (this seems to happen to men with schizoid/avoidant pd more often than others).
If you have the desire to connect, it can be possible, I'm sure of it. It may seem impossible on one's own (I get stuck in this mindset a lot with my disorder and cPTSD and have to really work to look at things differently!), but with persistence, the support of what people you might have around you, and most importantly professionals to help guide and further educate you in moving forward past our struggles, progress can be made. I also tell people, therapy is never something to be ashamed about. It is a *great* tool in life that if one has the privilege to have, I would say should definitely take advantage of. I say that because where I'm from, many people are ashamed or have bad impressions of being someone that needs therapy. It might take some steps to find the right therapist, but it's sort of like finding a job, and if you don't like the therapist you get you can always not return to them and go to a new one, and is more than worth the efforts. I may be some stranger on the internet and I apologize for the long comment but, I hope the best for you !
Maybe someone can create a companions site for people with this type of personality. At least everyone understands why we all act and behave the way we do and no one will think another is weird.
If you want to feel differently then you dont have this disorder.
I didn't know I,m schizoid untill recently. For those interested in literature it can be mentioned that Meursalt in Camus "The Stranger" is probably schizoid.
this feels like reaching nirvana
Holy shit wait. I've been considering whether I might have SPD for a while... Because I really dislike having close relationships with people... they tend to occur by accident and when I've fallen into one it's very depressing for me and I'm not sure how to make the person lose interest in me without hurting their feelings. But I wouldn't say I have a "flattened affect" as is often described. I also don't hate being around other people in general... it really only makes me uncomfortable to be around people when I would be expected to express emotions such as anger, sadness, anxiety, etc. that are almost impossible for me to express around other people.
But when you said "a lot of difficulty expressing anger" I went "holy shit." Because that's like the weird quirky thing everyone knows about me. I just don't experience anger... Never have, really. I can count on one hand the number of times I've been angry in my life and it usually fades within 10 minutes.
Hm. Maybe I should bring this up when I have my first meeting with my therapist. But I'm not actually sure if he is qualified to diagnose any of this stuff so maybe I won't mention it.
do you never experience road rage ? or gaming rage ? how about when your boss gives you shit ? dont you get pissed off then ?
She mentioned that people with SPD can experience brief psychotic episodes when under stress...lasting minuets to hours... I've experienced this, and I've been researching this all day but I couldn't find hardly any information. If anyone has any information at all on this topic, please tell me.
I experience all seven symptoms to varying degrees. If I were to assign a score to each of the symptoms on a 1-10 scale, it would appear like this:
Choosing solitary activities - 10
Lacks friends or confidant - 10
Appears indifferent to praise/criticism (not just "appears"....I AM utterly indifferent to it) - 10
Appears cold/detached/aloof (something I've heard from others my whole life) - 10
Neither chooses nor enjoys close relationships - 8
Takes pleasure in few activities - 6
Little interest in sex - 5
To me this is not a "disorder" at all -- it's just the way I am, and I'm OK with it. It's everyone around me who seems to struggle with it. Ms. Morton says it must be "frustrating." Sort of. My whole life I've felt like a kid at the bakery window, looking in at everyone else who "gets it" and not being able to participate. The most frustrating part, though, is constantly hearing how my reactions, responses, interactions, facial expressions, etc., don't meet with everyone else's expectations. "Why aren't you happy?" "Why don't you smile more?" "Am I bothering you?" "Why are you ignoring me?" etc., etc. I get sick of hearing it. To the extent that I'm "impaired" is because others become offended or cut me out of their lives because they can't understand me or accept the way I am and become offended by my perceived aloofness, coldness, meanness, whatever -- whereas 99% of the time I'm just going about my day minding my own business. This includes siblings. (My sister cut me off because she perceived I snubbed her once at a family event due to a supposed grudge.whereas the reality was I harbored zero animosity and in fact she didn't cross my mind one way or the other.) It's tougher in the job market because I can't form close friendships with those who could help my career. But I'm usually content and comfortable in my own skin, so I got that going for me....which is nice....
As someone one who has spd, I would like to point out a common misconception regarding the personality disorder. Which is that schizoids lack the desire for psychological or emotional connection. This is not true and most likely born out of observations of the schizoid outer self. The truth is that schizoids posses an extremely strong desire for connection in regards to the inner self, however the external self retracts upon sensing a connection and shuts down any and all capacity for emotional and psychological impulse. Not only leaving the schizoid to handle all social situations cognitively, but also leaving them at a deficit of motivation regarding persueing social situations. The schizoid mind is formed and operates according to the following pattern. 1: It begins with a recurring pattern of emotional abandonment from birth throughout childhood. Without emotional protection from the mother the infant mind is forced to protect itself from emotional trama. 2: It does this by retreating into itself and shutting down or diminishing the effect of external and internal emotional impulse. Without psychological impulses governing action, the infant becomes disconnected from the emotional world. 3: This form of psychological retraction becomes the infants only developed copping mechanism for emotional situations, while cognitively as the pattern of abandonment continues the mind is programmed to deduce that all emotional connection will lead to abandonment. 4: The conscious mind forms in a state of emotional isolation while observing emotional connections in the external environment as not only common but necessary to function. 5: This leads to a strong desire for emotional connection and attempts to aquire said connection. However upon sensing a potential connection and subconsciously being programmed that it will lead to abandonment and hence trama, the preprogrammed defense mechanism is triggered and all capacity to attain connection is severed. 6: The internal self begins to develope animosity towards the defense mechanism and develops an internal hate of self. This forces the psyche to separate but not split into two equally powerful selves. The inner and outer selves. ( bear in mind that all of this happens very early on in childhood. By the time the disorder becomes noticeable the above pattern is no longer prevalent in the conscious mind, but rather automated programming that forms the very core of their psyche .) With the internal self forced only to depend on itself for emotional stability, it learns to lose itself in extremely detailed fantasy worlds centered around isolation, often war, and always the pursuit of a genuin connection. While the external self learns to adapt to social situations intellectually without impulse and free of connection. This then defines the two aspects of a schizoids true plight. 1: We are forever in persuite of a connection we see all around us, but can never achieve for our selves and 2: We are connected to worlds that we can never truely be a part of, and part of a world that we can never truely connect to. Hope this helps people understand the personality disorder a little better.
I appreciate your detailed comment. It's very on point. I was wondering if you could suggest any literature, research articles, or even online threads or discussion that you found helpful for understanding SPD in depth.
It's unfortunate that schizoids are studied so rarely (through noone's fault). It would be very interesting if we could compile schizoid fantasies and compare them. I'm sure there would be many overlapping patterns and observations that could be made. It'd be cool if a recurring plot or a theme was identified - it would reveal so much insight about the inner workings of a schizoid, picked straight from our subconscious desires.
shjff0404
As far as research material goes, you no doubt have found, that there isn't a whole lot available. A situation made worse by the fact that the accuracy of the information gathered cannot be guaranteed. To understand this one needs to understand the defense mechanism utilized by schizoids. Our minds are essentially highly detailed simulation generators programmed to maintain the external environment. When encountering a person the defense mechanism is automatically triggered and a highly adaptive simulation begins centered around the mind of the person or people encountered. The objective being to maintain the social environment while keeping the internal self safe from the encounter. This automated response makes researching schizoids difficult from the stand point of non schizoids, as there is no way for the researcher to know weather the information gathered is genuin information regarding the schizoid, or simply the result of the simulation adapting to deductions the observer wants to see. I.E. if the observer starts to veiw the condition as say, avoidant personality disorder, the simulation will adapt and structure itself around that deduction. Note the simulation will not present false information. But rather will focus on complimentary information between their true self and the deduction in an attempt to maintain the environment. As a result researchers can form conclusions about schizoids that are only partly accurate. And because their minds now have a perceived understanding of the condition, their continued encounters with additional schizoids becomes tainted. As any new schizoid encountered will pick up on this deduction and generate a similar simulation. This then can lead to the researcher seeing confirmation of their deduction in multiple test groups that may not be fully accurate. Given this, my approach to studying SPD has been as follows. 1: I gather any and all available research material online. Meticulously checking any reference material provided. And looking for similar conclusions made by different researchers. 2: I look up what videos I can, primarily those made by actual schizoids. Focusing not only on what they say, but also studying their mannerisms and how they communicate. This is vital to understanding SPD. 3: As a schizoid I make every attemp to objectively observe and study my own behaviour. Playing both researcher and test subject to myself. 4: I take all the gathered information and generate a series of internal simulations. These simulations allow me to see the pattern as a whole. And allows me to identify both gaps in the the overall understanding and thus where I need to focus my study as well as contradictory information that needs to either be removed or reassessed. As far as recommended research goes the wickipeada entry is a good place to start as it covers far more than the basic description. But I will advise you to look into all the reference material provided so that you can form your own deduction as entries there are not always 100% consistent with what is provided. There was another site I found that had a lot of very good info, but I have had trouble lately finding the site. I will post it if I find it again.
In regards to finding parallels in schizoid fantasies, that would be very hard to do. Mainly because the inner self is the most guarded part of the schizoid mind. In time we might provide a basic outline for our inner worlds, but it is highly unlikely that any of us would proved anything in regards to a detailed description. As a schizoid is god of the internal worlds they create, and these worlds exist free of any and all moral or social barriers. Not suggesting that we are depraved, dangerous, or perverted in nature. Only that a world without limitation can be confusing or even offensive when viewed from the standpoint of a mind that requires such limitations to function. That being said a focus group of schizoids may be the best way to accurately understand the condition. So long as it it done properly. But for it to work it would have to be free of non schizoid interference. The ideal group would be three men and three women schizoids, who themselves have been provided with at least a basic understanding of psychology. As schizoids have an unusual ability to almost imeadiatly recognize other schizoids. And the only minds to adapt to are other schizoid minds. Then the simulation generated by the defense mechanism will become complimentary to the schizoids natural psyche. From there this schizoid think tank if you will can work together to generate a far more comprehensive understanding of themselves and therefore the schizoid condition.
@@shjff0404 The above mechanistic definition very much sounds like it comes from the psychodynamic tradition (Freud, Jung).
Psychodynamics is somewhat discredited within the academic tradition. Perhaps understandably so, given some of Freud's strange position. Psychoanalysis as a professional has high barriers to entry and is insular. Also there is a habit of psychoanalysts telling their clients what they think.
It's all a little unfortunate really. I get the impression you get psychodynamics that is often derived from introspection and hence can be odd, wrong and prescriptive and prone to bias but also useful and captures things that more accepted framings miss.
You do occasionally see psychodynamic concepts popping up in other areas. The idea of processing is distinctly psychodynamic.
And then your get more accepted methodologies with are simpler, have fewer assumptions and are more client focused. But also fail to capture what is going on.
I think framings in terms of schemata that show up by another name in things like en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Personal_construct_theory might be a nice middle ground. I really don't like the look of "schema therapy" though