Amy Schumer Stand-up Monologue - SNL
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- čas přidán 11. 05. 2018
- Host Amy Schumer shares how getting married has affected her stand-up and the specific way women ask for a tampon.
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When it comes to comedy, I'm a simple man, I just type Amy Schumer, I click on the video, and I read the comments cos that's the only comedy you will find on her monologue.
Savage
So true lol
Rekt
That's what I just did :D
I actually stopped the video immediately and came straight to the comments!
“I love this crowd”
The crowd:📀🔊
underrated
It’s sad because the laughs sound the same over and over. It’s not even a good laugh track.
Only thing close to funny
@@gort6604 578 likes ain't too bad
@@shq_main2853 snl doesnt use laugh tracks its called Saturday Night LIVE dummy It's a live audience
"recent studies shown that girls are 27% funnier when around the person they like"
girls around me:
I can't 💀💀💀💀💀
lmfao underrated comment
Felt
Sorry that must be sad
Bros funnier then this 8min vid
Her jokes fucking killed me😂
No literally. I’m hanging from a fan because I decided its better to quit while I’m only a minute in.
Bruh this is dark. But this made me laugh 😂
Not the video though 😂
F
Fuck, you said it better than me..
Well done, Sir.
LMAOoo 😂
Then how are you typing the comment, that is literally impossible. You are just making up lies.
The F in Amy schumer stands for funny.
well, that's actually funnier than the entire clip. Seeing the evolution each bad joke adds 1 gram to her weight.
There is no "f" in Amy Schumer
Gary that’s the point lmao she’s not funny
@@danbam3411 she's not funny because her jokes are bad, not because of her name not having an "f"
Gary obviously you missed the joke smh
When she was growing up, everybody laughed when Amy Schumer said she wanted to be a comedian.....Nobody is laughing now.
Underated😂
@@harisvasilakis6166 Bob Monkhouse joke!
Yeah i saw that meme too, your jokes are almost as recycled as amy schumer’s
True fact
No kidding
If I had a million dollars for everytime I laughed at her jokes unintentionally, I would be in debt right now...
@@altaccount1869 now that, made me laugh!😄
Meaning you cried
@@marcianoforst6311 nah I just wanted to die :/
@@potatogamerx3423 understandable
You mean intentionally
Since humans have a habit of laughing in serious situations, a funeral is literally more likely to make you laugh than Amy Schumer.
XDDD
And because people laugh when they are hurt so they wont cry, being stabbed might make me laugh more than Amy Schumer.
@@jgtrx 🤯
thats y yo mamma ded
So true lmao
This part had me cracking up 9:00
Bro, we are in sync.
I laughed at 8:29
LOL
ikr, hillarious
😂😂
jimmy fallon wouldn't even laugh at this
Damn...that's cold brah
@@ifwecouldvote that line was funnier than anything Amy Schumer ever said
Brutal
I think you mean "even jimmy fallon wouldn't laugh at this." "jimmy fallon wouldn't even laugh at this" would mean jimmy fallon barely loughs at anything, not even this.
Julia Mimi this is CZcams ma’am
I've been struggling with insomnia for years, and I put this on and instantly got so bored I fell asleep for 13 hours straight. Thank you, Amy, for proving that not everyone should follow their dreams
LMFAO
speaking bout dreams how was yours
@@era2. i had weird zombie dream today
@@nopingpower6643 bruh
@@nopingpower6643 Tell me about it rn. I love dreams.
8:29 Best part of the Video. Had me laughing in tears
21:34 was hilarious too
so was -2.34x10^-8
this comment is genuinely hilarious cuz i imagine someone crying laughing at that timestamp since its the end 💀
This comment made me laugh harder than the entire video
@@setstreamjam8411 nah 19:20
luckily there is a laughing track.. otherwise i would have no idea when to laugh.
Max van Pelt even with the laughing track I still didn’t laugh
Here’s a tip: don’t laugh.
Max van Pelt it does sound like a laughing track😂😂😂😂
Snow_so Flo cuz it is
I’m pretty sure the audience is laughing at her, not with her
Literally “ur mom” jokes are more funny than this tragedy...
True
“ur mama so dumb
she laugh at amy schumer”
Would be more funny than this
@@mannequingaming54 indeed
Yo momma so unfunny people mistook her for Amy Schumer
@@ryanjames2932 I didn't say I am funny I said ur mom jokes are funnier not because they're funny but because Amy schumer is so unfunny that it makes ur mom jokes funny I hope it makes sense for you.
A 13 year old in a discord call made me laugh more than this
Why are comparing a 13 discord kid to Amy? That’s sad
@@Whoareyouwatchingthat4643 ikr, a literal fart sound made me laugh more than this, not that i laughed even once.
Why are you in a discord call with a 13 year old? Are you a discord mod?
@@solame10101 maybe people in the same age talk to each other 🤯
Cool new emoji I didn't think they added that
Taking my anti-depression meds made me smile more than this whole video ever could.
Ikr the comments are funnier than the video itself
I hope you're okay dude
thats deep
Bless you
Wanna get drunk?
Every time you don't laugh at a joke, take a shot
“you’d be as drunk as Brett Kavanaugh was in the summer of 83” -Colin Jost
but ther wear no jokes, or did i miss somthing
(sorry for my bad Englisch)
@Austria Simon
Ya I don’t know where the jokes are
You trying to kill someone?
I don’t even know what she even considers a joke at this point
The audience was so confused on when to laugh that they started laughing during the joke setup.
The funni thing is, if you watch other comedians that are actually funny, you can hear the crowd either laugh for a while that the comedian can't continue, or later on you hear some faint giggling of people still recovering
This crowd was like
😂 😂 😂 👏
@@sadie_cat
😐😐😐😐😂😂😂😂😂😐😐😐😐
😐😐😐😂😂😂😂😂😂😐😐😐😐
😐😐😂😂👏👏👏👏👏👏😐😐😐
😐😐😂😂👏👏👏👏👏👏😐😐😐
😐😐😂😂👏👏👏👏👏👏😐😐😐
😐😐😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😐😐😐
😐😐😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😐😐😐
😐😐😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😐😐😐
😐😐😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😐😐😐
😐😐😂😂😂😐😐😂😂😂😐😐😐
😐😐😂😂😂😐😐😂😂😂😐😐😐
@@stylish_pengu dammit
@@sadie_cat took a few tries but i did it
@@stylish_pengu amogus
This is so boring it's literally perfect for falling asleep in the evening, thank you a lot!
Once she started I did too! I didn't even notice her for 8:28 minutes
I’d have nightmares
“You’re tired” the crowd: “AUHAAHAAHHAHAHAHAHA”
No the soundboard with all the laughtracks
"You're tire-"
*Turns into a convertible*
are people getting paid to laugh at this?
serious question
well most likely i mean would a sane person laugh at this cringefest
For real!
Rins Chidoried Chest people are supposed to laugh at each remark whether it was SUPPOSED to be funny or not
Good question. The answer : ABSOLUTELY YES.
They're all just drunk
Saw everyone criticizing Amy Schumer. Wanted to know what all the fuss was about so looked her up on CZcams. God I regret this decision... I havn't decringed yet
😂😂😂😂😂 me too. I'm tryna give her a chance but nahhhh........
Same
No...you just needed to jump on the bandwagon criticizing her 😂
It’s ok, she’s a bit on the sarcastic/facetious side, which many don’t get :)
At best I chuckled a bit, but she isn't at that level yet.
Most of these comments were made before the new social distancing rules were published, making circle jerks illegal.
I'm laughing
seeing the two musicians at the back looking at her like she is an alien
OMG AMY SCHUMER IS HILARIOUS (let my family go pls)
Its sad when the comment section is funnier than the video.
Right on lol cuz these comments are absolutely halarious!!! 😂😂😂
It's not sad. It's happy
It’s sad when hardworking adults get less respect than whiny bitches.
...who snipe at successful entertainers on CZcams.
@@ObediahPolkinghornIII-cz5io She is a comedian, she is supposed to be funny. She has some good jokes but in this particular video none of them were funny to me. The comments on the other hand were. Besides, my commeng isn't whiney, it's supposed to be an observational joke. If anything you're the one whining about people poking fun at Amy. Lol
Then why don't any guys commenting here (and face it, those are all guys) get to be successful comedians? Just ponder that one.
I ordered my laugh it should arrive sometime next week
Good comment
Good comment
Good comment
Good comment
Good comment
YES MAKE FUN OF YOUR MAN PROPOSING TO YOU CUZ THATS NOT A SPECIAL MOMENT AT ALL ITS AMAZING HOW YOU’RE TEARING HIM DOWN😻🤪🙌🏻
That’s what a strong woman dose!
*proceeds to talk about how men are bad*
I would've duped her afterwards if I were her newlywed husband
@@drakesessions3544 imagine being her husband thats a huge L
Amy Schumer is the type of person who puts in the laugh track on her own teen sitcom that she made
Lolll
This hits different on mute tho 😌
😂
Yes
Ahhh silence
LMAO
facts
Can they edit the laugh track out I wanna hear the tears
Profile pic seems appropriate
"i hate this woman, therefore it's impossible that anyone else finds her funny"
@@rose-ui6hk nah her humour sucks
😂😂😂
@@rose-ui6hk “no one listens to my worthless comments so I’m gonna copy paste it on every comment”
To the guy who almost dated Amy, according to Amy’s text story, dodged a bullet
“I got married this year” is the funniest thing she’s said
I thought people were exaggerating but damn this really is on a whole other level
Same bruh
Same bro I gave her a try😂😂
dude same lmao, i've never not laughed at a comedian holy shit
same, i actually came here to know how bad it was and its actually true
@@ahsansafeer5246 forreal, coz sometimes people exaggerate but this is painfully unfunny, and not in the way that makes u laugh out of how bad it is, it's just ridiculously unfunny, not even a try at a joke 😭
I laughed
Edit: oops wrong video
Lol🤣🤣🤣
Funnier than the actual video
The only thing I laughed at is the comments
hilarious 🤣🤣🤣
hilarious 🤣🤣🤣
You know, if there wasn't an excessive laugh track every 5 seconds I wouldn't have been able to tell she was a comedian
I'm really impressed with the producers for managing to find people for the audience who would actually laugh at her jokes.
That's the true talent.
it actually sounds like a laugh track.. the audience probably didn't laugh at all
they laugh at the joke setup for some reason
It's impossible "try to laugh" challenge
Underated coment
haha i fucking laughed at your joke
Nice
Comedian is such a strong word...
Ray Cooper that was funnier than all of her “jokes” combined.
Marco Murillo true
More like someone fucked a pig and a retarded pig human came out. I guess that is comedy on its own though, so I wouldn't rate her low on the comedy scale.
diablos250 I'd rate her a -200/10, but you're more like a 10/10
Ray Cooper 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Calling her a “comedian” would be an insult to comedy.
Calling her a human is insult to humanity
Only on SNL would this be classified as “comedy”.
And the next thing you know, she's going on a home DOWN BY THE RIVER!!!
Amy:
Audience: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
They're sympathy laughs
Mr. BossDude isn’t it just a laugh track? It sound similar every time.
@Skeet • the producers light up a sign that tells the crowd when to laugh.
(JOKE ALERT)
Wonder if the sound guy got tired of playing the laugh track
"i hate this woman, so it's impossible for anyone else to find her funny"
@@rose-ui6hk It is indeed impossible for mentally stable people to find her funny
@@rose-ui6hk is everyone wrong, or do you maybe have a terrible sense of humor? go watch this clip with your family, none of them will laugh.
@@chrishayes5755 dude, i don't like her either, but honestly it's just stupid to think that everyone agrees with you. the fact remains that there are people who find her funny.
@@rose-ui6hk yeah true people are just ignorant tho
I laugh at everything and I kept a straight face during this whole thing
The only reason I was laughing cos was of the comments 😂😂
@@alexj2 same lmao
Same I find everything funny but I couldn’t even smile during this
I was laughing (I was reading the comments while i was watching)
I was laughing my heart out during the whole monologue as I wasn't paying attention to it instead reading the comments which are far superior 😂😂
Every time I laughed wasn't because of the video but because of the comments 😂
She reaches a point where she is so unfunny it becomes funny to notice how little you're laughing.
It's almost as if a successful comedian (on the Forbes List, no less) isn't your cup of tea. Huh.
@@ObediahPolkinghornIII-cz5io I'm sorry I forgot to laugh. I'll write it down so I don't forget the next time I hear her jokes.
Andro A As a result of hard work, talent, and a little luck, she’s now worth over $20M. I think she’ll survive the trauma of not making you laugh.
@@ObediahPolkinghornIII-cz5io "Talent"
Ok now I am laughing.
Andro A Yay. 🤣
"I got a text. I answered it, and they said sorry, wrong text."
*HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAA*
EDIT: I'm sorry that I have to kill this joke, but this is ironic.
If you laughed at that, you’d love the Dobre Brothets.
.... is this ironic?
She got married, good joke.
@@quavers275 yes
Lol
this was the straightest face moment I’ve ever had
I was in a blanket in a moderately warm room covered up and I still got chills watching this. Not even a laugh, just chills
*M Y V A G I N A*
M A V A G I N A
*M R V A G I N A*
*S I R V A G I N A*
*L O R D V A G I N A*
*PuSsY......*
00:01~00:04 best joke ever
Best comment so far in my everlasting Amy Schumer CZcams video bash comment scroll
곰흰곰흰 ok but this is actually the only time i laughed during this entire video
true
Best roast over
The only thing funny about amy schumer is that she is a joke
The fact that people allowed her on stage is the funniest thing ever
The funniest part of this is the band behind her doing their best to “laugh” 🤣🤣🤣🤣
they were only smiling because they wanted to die so bad from the torture they witnessed
When she was a kid everyone laughed when she said she wanted to be a comedian
No one is laughing now
Rebeltwist oh my God, you're so funny and original. You should be a stand up comedian instead of her.
Katarina - he/she could make it though. He's/she's got the unoriginal content part down and now all he needs to do is come from a well off family with a well known politician and a strong backing from the sjw community and he/she will be set.
@@user-bj7em4fv1p you are so delusional
Rebeltwist dont be so rude...
Rebeltwist how you going to hate on someone when you share a trait with them. Unoriginality. Dumbass
CIA: We need a new state of the art torture device.
Amy Schumer: *Does Comedy*
CIA: I want your whole stock!
Haha my nigga
Hans Karps it’s kind of dumb but i laughed lol
CIA: no that violates the Geneva convention
“Comedy”
8:29 Dude she is so funny 😂😂😂
Oh man that was my favorite part! 10/10
The only funny joke here is that she sees herself as a comedian
The band was being held at gunpoint to fake laugh
Cary Meyer nah, she's hilarious!
M'name Luis too bad you’re the only one that thinks that. You know a “comedian” I hesitate to say that, isn’t good when they have 50% like to dislike ratio.
Cary Meyer people hate her cos she's a woman, she's the best comedian ever ! No comedian will ever be as funny and great as her.
M'name Luis are you trolling.. she steals jokes and she tells them worse lol
Cary Meyer ya caught me. She has to be one of the worst "famous" people alive today, I can't even seriously call her a comedian. She's just a person who tries to be funny and probably gets more forced pity laughs than real laughs. I watched and cringed through this whole video and laughed zero times. Grr. Comedy is important to me cos I want to be a comedian someday other than a musician.
I tried, gotdamnit I tried.
sirfatticus 😂
Salute solider.
Same
Me too boys.
F
There must be guns pointed at the audience with prompts telling them when to laugh.
Amy Shumer:"I just killed a man"
*HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHA*
That would never be happened, that joke is too funny for her.
Not gonna lie, it's like the unpopular girl in school rambling about her life and you're like:
"Uh huh... mmm... yeah... That must be terrible... Sure... Your arms are fat? Okay..."
ong
@@bonglebonglefr is that caveman language or some shit?
@@tangytim6699 ooonga boonga coowaboonga
"I think his proposal was WORTHLESS!!!" Dude, uncool.
@United states of America I watch! Just saying 😅
Exactly
Her father must have punished her severely
Unpopular opinion, but that joke was the best one of the video. It almost made me grin a bit
1:54
Me when I hear an Amy schumer joke
Omg her jokes are so funny, that my deaf mom heard her jokes and then turned off the tv😍😍😍😍😍😍
How is it that teenagers tell better jokes than a “professional comedian”
Simple she's not professionel or comedian
You really call her a "professional comedian"
@@Sreeeeeeeekrishna That’s why he put “these”
@@ger.shonnn yeah I got "those"
a f*cking fetus is funnier than her
I'm genuinely concerned for the people who liked this video
white girls from midwest
@@jaycastle2 nah they’re hippies who tried tequila instead of weed
You mean women? yeah....It's CRAZY how women can find another woman's jokes funny, right? Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahaha
@@jonesy2892 yeah its crazy
They are bots
It took me half way through the video to realize she was telling jokes and not just talking
Same lmao
To everyone watching this, Always remember "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger"
Lmfaoooo yall be hating she funny asf the funniest parts are :
Oh, don't forget and !
@@OfficalHoDawg and 8:29 joke is good too
What about : and ? I absolutely loved those
Lmao y'all can't forget June 1st, 1981!!
8:29
Try TO laugh challenge
This joke is funnier than anything she said.
bubacarr bojang I laughed many times without trying. Get off that hate bandwagon. She's a person.
bubacarr bojang this was the only thing I laughed out loud at about this video
ApartmentViews she has every right to say whatever the hell she wants just as everyone else has the to right to criticise what she says
i won!
Truly inspiring. Made me get up to turn off the TV and make myself a better person.
idk whats more impressive, how I went through this whole video without smiling or how she hypnotized everyone into being a constant laugh track.
2:32 I have been a bridesmaid in six Long Island weddings.”
*Audience bursts into laughter*
The only time I actually laughed was when I saw the like to dislike ratio.
Same
😂😂😂
Same
Yt poll:
“Whats funnier, Amy Schumer or this image of bread?”
2% Amy Schumer
98% Bread
Such Talented people behind her, it's a shame they're wasted on her
8:28 had me dying
Yeah same
Lol yt made her performance better but just having a comments section with pretty decent jokes
She bought me a laugh, should be coming within 2-3 days
4 months later😂😂😂
11 months later…
It's a scam, I ordered one and it never arrived
Just ordered mine but it never came, I want my money💵 back
If I would get 1 dollar for everytime this video made me laugh, I would get a total of 25 cents
Lemme guess...
5:25 ?
If i read the comment section and laugh and get 1 dollar i would be loaded rn
PAHAHAH THIS PART WAS HILARIOUS, YOU GUYS CAN'T DENY😭 8:30
IKR LMAO I THINK ITS THE BEST BIT
Better change the You tube rating system
Soyless In Seattle I laughed more at your profile picture than I did at this whole entire comedy routine
This is actually so unfunny to the point I straight up laughed out of pity.
I laughed because of the fake laughs
@@absence9443 i laughed because i thought of donkey kong dancing and saying "not funny didn't laugh"
I also laughed out of pity.
I will say Amy Schumer did bring humor.
This comment section is gold.
Guy I'm dying LMAOO
THEY CALLED HER A COMEDIAN
😂😂😂
Band Members: "How's this fake smile?" "Convincing?" "Check out my fake laugh!"
Tony G Lmfaooo how are they holding it that long😂
"i hate this woman, therefore it's impossible that anyone else finds her funny"
I will always have infinite appreciation for the sound editors who probably worked days to find the punchlines to these "jokes" and added a laughtrack so that we know what the "joke" is. Whoever they are, they need to know how important their role in this is.
It was part of her plan to make people laugh by reading comments. She is steps ahead of us.
8:29 was so funny bro I was dying on the floor for like 30 minutes
Guys i found a way to laugh at Amy Schumer.....just mute the video
The Deceiver Jesus Christ it works... it actually works.
I’m your sixty ninth like 🤫
Genius
I don't know why people hate this so much, I honestly love the 8:28 part
Hehe. I see what you did there. 1 year late but I had to say it
@@Sogmabolz i think the best part was 8:29 - 8:28 is a bit to early
10:00 I never laughed so hard in my life
Amy: *alright so*
Audience: BWAHAHAHAHAH
So we're still pretending that Amy is funny??
Cesar Medrano this was good material...she mihgt got a good writers.ah and by the way the rehersal where she stole time from a young comeidan weeks ago Aldo helped :(
She is funny. I love Amy
Andressa Soarez shut up she is but funny if you think she is funny you are an idiot with IQ of 60.
Waleed Khalid wait is she the one who stole jokes from other comedians 🤔
Cesar Medrano she's hilarious. Definitely the best comedian EVER!
The comments are so much funnier than the video
J Squared When’s your next stand-up special?
@@ObediahPolkinghornIII-cz5io simp
John Rabson Jr
I’ve seen you in other comments also simping.
Grammar Nazi I don’t remember you at all.
John Rabson Jr
You don’t need to, because I do.
"Hey, do you ever fart while eating a burrito and having sex? I'm Amy Schumer and welcome to my Ted Talk."
-Allisyn Ashley Arm on that one Smosh video making everyone laugh harder than Amy trying to her whole career
This is like watching The Big Bang Theory. You don't know if you have to laugh until you hear a laugh. You can enjoy it, but the more you analyze the situation, the more uncomfortable you feel.
This was really depressing.
Damn. 💀
Ima keep timestamps that I like to get back to later :
here’s one: 8:28
@@seanbiller1975 i swear her videos broke my sense of humor so hard that I laughed at comments like this for the 4th time in a row
She's not a joke, she's the whole circus.
the whole damn zoo
@@siomaigel_ zoos are places where you can visit animals and harrass them, how can a person be a place, that factually makes no sense.
@@unknownerror8799 pepsi
nah a whole circus is more amusing than this
The circus that didnt have enough cash
Omg so funny!!! 😂😂😂😂 My fav parts were 0:03 and 8:29
💀💀