Shameful & Worthless: How to Let Go of Emotional Toxicity & Unconscious Self Sabotage [14/52]
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- čas přidán 21. 07. 2024
- Unconscious shame is holding you back. It's time to learn how to release emotional baggage, heal yourself from the toxic shame that binds us, and restore your original purity and sense of wholeness.
This episode of Inner Work Essentials offers a nuanced perspective on the little discussed Spectrum of Shame: a dynamic emotional scale which progresses from healthy, short-lived shame to unhealthy, chronic shame.
This video explores topics including: the mechanics of shame-based identity formation and worthlessness; how shame leads to secondary problems such as addiction and perfectionism; in addition to providing practical and philosophical solutions to shame-based problems which directly support your inner work and self-healing process.
Book Recommendation: Healing The Shame That Binds You, John Bradshaw
Questions?
Feel free to message me on Instagram!
⏱️ TIMESTAMPS ⏱️
00:00 Healthy Shame vs 'Toxic Shame'
02:55 Book Recommendation: Healing The Shame That Binds Us, John Bradshaw
03:55 How to Heal 'Toxic Shame' & Shame-Based Identity?
06:58 Beware the 'T' Word!
08:06 Internalised Shame: The Hypnotic Trance which Holds us Back
09:39 How to Feel Healthy Shame & Let Go of Identification
12:02 Establishing Safety & Healing the Nervous System
14:01 The Spectrum of Shame & Summary Points
15:26 Next Steps: Healing Shameful Addictions
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Welcome to INNER WORK ESSENTIALS: the 52 episode series designed to provide you with an intense, diverse and holistic roadmap for full-spectrum self-healing and transformative self-education!
It's been a long time coming... with over 350 books researched in the last 27 months... but I'm overjoyed to FINALLY be sharing what I've learned about the Inner Working Landscape and how to do Inner Work at beginner, intermediate and advanced levels.
Want to know where this series is heading? Read my teaching intentions below!
INNER WORK ESSENTIALS: SERIES AIMS (STATEMENT OF DIRECTION)
1) Provide the student with an informed and representative overview of multiple complementary therapeutic modalities to support their self-healing process; with special encouragement placed upon the auto-therapeutic application of particular healing modalities for particular problems at particular stages in their journey.
2) Nourish the intellectual and spiritual maturation of the student by familiarising them with the most exciting, challenging and credible concepts in developmental psychology, consciousness studies and transpersonal metaphysics; with central emphasis being placed upon comparative analysis of multiple complex theories.
3) Encourage an empowered and more authentic sense of individual self-expression as a combined outcome of the two previous intentions, plus the application of holistic lifestyle principles, self-educational practises, and foundational healthy habits.
INNER WORK ESSENTIALS: EXPECTED LEARNING OUTCOMES
On completion of this series, the student should expect to be:
1) Auto-therapeutic. The student will feel generally competent in their ability to select and self-administer the most suitable therapeutic modality on a full-spectrum basis: ranging from the somatic resolution of central childhood wounds to the everyday self-regulation of symptomatic stress responses such as anxiety and addiction.
2) Closer towards baseline integral consciousness (Wilber). Through their combined efforts of rigorous self-inquiry and critical engagement with recommended reading material, the student will have significantly developed their intellectual and spiritual maturity to a noticeable degree, in likely correlation with their depth of engagement.
3) Holistically Empowered. The student will enjoy a meaningful expansion of their physical, emotional, sexual, and creative expression as a result of their healing and expansion work. In short, they will be healthier, happier and feel more complete.
4) Self-educational. The student will have felt organically inspired to move beyond free video content and create a self-structured learning arc which takes maximum advantage of at least several dozen inner working books mentioned within the course. The student will consequently enjoy lifelong learning habits including: critical research skills, long-term focus, and the ability to know when to stop studying.
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Topics explored: healing childhood abuse; how to heal from abuse; parts work; inner work; shadow work; how to heal trauma; how to heal shame; how to let go of shame; how to stop self sabotage; toxic shame; how to heal toxic shame; how to release shame; unconscious shame; john bradshaw; healing the shame that binds you;
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DM me for 1:1 consultations & private mentoring.
#innerwork #selfhealing #trauma
![Are Addicts More Spiritual? The Truth about Drug Abuse & Traumatic Attachment [15/52]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/_Q5pKNy_368/mqdefault.jpg)
![Are Addicts More Spiritual? The Truth about Drug Abuse & Traumatic Attachment [15/52]](/img/tr.png)
*INNER WORK ESSENTIALS - TEACHING INTENTIONS & STATEMENT OF DIRECTION*
1) Provide the student with an informed and representative overview of multiple complementary therapeutic modalities to support their self-healing process; with special encouragement placed upon the auto-therapeutic application of holistic healing modalities for particular problems at particular stages in their journey.
2) Nourish the intellectual and spiritual maturation of the student by familiarising them with the most exciting, challenging and credible concepts in developmental psychology, consciousness studies and transpersonal metaphysics; with central emphasis being placed upon comparative analysis of multiple complex theories.
3) Encourage an empowered and more authentic sense of individual self-expression as a combined outcome of the two previous intentions, plus the application of holistic lifestyle principles, self-educational practises, and foundational healthy habits.
*EXPECTED LEARNING OUTCOMES (what you'll get from these videos)*
*On completion of this series, the student should expect to be:*
1) Auto-therapeutic. The student will feel generally competent in their ability to select and self-administer the most suitable therapeutic modality on a full-spectrum basis: ranging from the somatic resolution of central childhood wounds to the everyday self-regulation of symptomatic stress responses such as anxiety and addiction.
2) Closer towards baseline integral consciousness (Wilber). Through their combined efforts of rigorous self-inquiry and critical engagement with recommended reading material, the student will have significantly developed their intellectual and spiritual maturity to a noticeable degree, in likely correlation with their depth of engagement.
3) Holistically Empowered. The student will enjoy a meaningful expansion of their physical, emotional, sexual, and creative expression as a result of their healing and expansion work. In short, they will be healthier, happier and feel more complete.
4) Self-educational. The student will have felt organically inspired to move beyond free video content and create a self-structured learning arc which takes maximum advantage of at least several dozen inner working books mentioned within the course. The student will consequently enjoy lifelong learning habits including: critical research skills, long-term focus, and the ability to know when to stop studying.
Thanks for your teachings! I learned more about human psychology and myself from your videos in the last few days than in 6 months therapy. To this day I believe that my therapist, who was the leading therapist in the psychological faculty of a university, has just no idea about how trauma works. You are leading many people to better lives! Wish you healing, all the best and success. Sincere gratitude 🙏
And here comes the funds for the next book to share on the channel, thank you for being generous. Will keep doing what I can to spread these psychological messages, and likewise invite you to consider joining me inside the shadow work library if you want a truly structured and accelerate approach to this self integration work - will amplify your self-study pace, happy to chat over on IG if you send me a message or voice note.
So glad you brought up Bradshaw. As an aside here, I know someone who read Bradshaw and took the wrong message from him; concluding that "ah, shame is an illusion and I can do whatever I want"--sorta shameless, was his takeaway. Wrong message. There is such a thing as healthy shame. There is very much a middle ground here, where toxic shame can be cast off, but all is not permissible
It's been a long journey acquainting my shameful patterns... I can say, it's unbelievably reassuring to befriend our shame. : ) As a codependent in recovery for quite some time, I guess the worst part of overcoming the destructive tendencies is that we justify any and all abusive behavior toward us, at the expense of our wellbeing and dignity, on account of the feeling of "deserving it". Shame brings us to build our self-image on such a low criterion, it hurts to remember what you expect yourself to take. And we're constantly checking to make sure we're not falling back into the pattern, up until certain point. But IT IS ABSOLUTELY POSSIBLE to relieve this painful perception! Thank goodness : D
Thank you for sharing your story so far, Fran - as always! I know people are out there reading your comments here and getting reflection & unlocks themselves!
@@jordanthornton 🙏❤️
Wow, you nailed that! I'm glad I have a lot more distance from that now. Even my common dream that would pop up from my subconscious, whenever I found myself not being authentic or I was feeling manipulated and stuck, has finally taken an interesting turn [for the better, after all of these years].
@@sharonaumani8827 What a relief, ain't it Sharon? Brave soul, honey! We can bring such beauty to the world once we find this space to breath! 🥰
@@RomanoFrancine I'll say. To realize just how much of your life you have spent walking on eggshells (and not just from past trauma). Still, after all of these years, I think I still have a lot trapped in the body (the chronic tightness of the upper back, shoulders, and neck despite a lot of work).
This episode... brought me to tears. I believe 40 years in low self worth is just about enough...
Thank you for addressing the 'T' word. When I first heard about this concept it resonated deeply with me but I had a week long grieving process in a sense.. I felt depressed and like I didn't know who I was and that my trauma/abuser stole something vital from me. So much of my identity seemed to come from that shame. I'm still in the beginning of my healing journey but being kind and patient with myself is helping me get through. Thank you for your videos.
Azalee, you are most welcome. Wishing you well in your next steps as your dissolve the past 🌲
BLESSED BE THE ALGORITHMS❣☺🔥
One of the best books that I've read, there was definitely a before/ after, it completely changed my way of being and thinking.
Truly a classic!
I love your comment.. “it’s accepting that we’ve done a thing but we are not the thing” ❤
Precisely! Glad you’re here and receiving this message 🌲
interesting content here, jordan, and great production values. happy to have discovered your channel.
Thank you Michael! Attempting to strike the balance between accessibility and depth in this series - checked out some of your videos and love seeing your work in Neurospirituality!
@@jordanthornton Well FWIW I'd say you are striking the balance spot on. Keep it up, mate.
Thanks Guy yipes. Dissociating just listening. Useful distinguishing emotional state from identity. Bradshaw👍👍👍bombshell in one of his televised lectures: He spent some time describing the phase in early childhood when we learn to say "No", sometimes called the terrible 2s. And how necessary that is in forming the child's character. "Suppress the child's ability to say No, and 20 yrs later you have an addict who can't say No" I can vouch for it, yep my folks would not take No for an answer. I'm glad i'm old, some (can it even be quantified) some shame has fallen away. Weirdly, what's left is an identity void
Iv just ordered this book.looking forward to reading it.thanks so much.constant shame is isolating inhabiting depressing and exhausting!phew
Lorraine, it's an excellent read. One of the best.
Thank goodness you had a place to escape to. Also, that your healing your childhood trauma, and helping others by sharing the experiences. Y.
Yes, it’s a privilege to be here and be able to do this work - sending you my best.
The stuff about “word play” and CBT, it’s a relief to hear that cause I always thought that way
Glad this helped!
I remember Bradshaw first from his many videos years ago [when it was not easy to get hold of quality info like that!]. I credit his books with the beginning of my healing journey over 30 years ago. I remember being so impressed with his books, I purchased one & sent to each sibling, ha!
That's remarkable to hear - pleased to receive comments from someone so familiar with the work, thank you!
@@jordanthornton I don't even hardly remember what the book had in it, but I also remember, at that time, Scott Peck's "Road Less Traveled" having a big impact on me. I could relate to so much of what you talk about....those initial ah ha moments and excitement and magical thinking when your spiritual world opens. It's fun until you fall.
Thank you!
You are a CRIMINAL! One of the most exquisite ones I had the privilege to listen to their mind and heart or know in person! What stood the most in this phenomenal video is your focus on healing the underlying toxic (yeah I'm still guilty of using it frequently) narratives creating shame in the first place instead of merely relying on the positive affirmations that may work for a while until they're overridden by the limiting beliefs during a major incident (I've been there)! Thank you for being an unapologetic truth-teller! 🙏🙏🙏
Appreciate all your enthusiastic feedbacks, thank you!
Would appreciate suggestions of practices and techniques to heal shame as identity into shame as individuated feeling experience.
Generally speaking, this is the path of parts-work overall. Internal Family Systems is particularly good for helping us heal ‘shameful parts’ - good luck 🌲
It means slow down and find natyure forgiving or judging you perceiving challenges
The Spectrum of Shame - where do you typically gravitate towards on the scale between healthy and unhealthy?
I’m extremely happy and almost surprised to say I now gravitate towards healthy shame! But oh boy has it been a long journey from the chronically and default shameful person I was - and you’re completely right - acceptance, detachment and safety are all key. Of course, in certain depleted states it’s easy to spiral back into default shameful patterns, but these become less and less frequent.
Having read and applied both of these Bradshaw books in my own inner work - I second your recommendation and cannot commend them enough. They truly are essential books in my opinion and have helped me understand and help myself so much.
Thank you for the video!
@@yinglan9606 Thank you for sharing - recognising and managing our own 'depleted states' seems to be a key factor, you're right. Much easier to spiral back into regressive pattern when our energy or esteem is low!
How did you get rid of it? And did it ever come back for you?
Check out the video inside the shadow work playlist called ‘shadow work and trauma therapy, new exercises for rage, shame and repressed emotions’ - this approach worked for me, and I’ve seen it work for others too. Good luck 🌲
This is especially vital for the LGBTQ community. Despite having the most loving of parents, they were the products of a homophobic time and culture, and so I grew up with radically different messages, impossible to sort out when you're young.
Yes, I can imagine. Keep going with the healing work - shame is a huge part for many people.
What if the shame is warranted? Say a murderer who feels shame in what they have done. Should they carry that shame foreverq
Great question, there are levels and layers to shame - and some shame is healthy and appropriate. We would call it our conscience.