I know that, if Iâm depressed & bed-ridden for a few days while other people are making inroads on something that I sparked, my depression will weaken. I fantasize about my depression being like the Wicked Witch of the West. My depression will scream âIâm melting! Iâm melting!â this year. Metaphors are my saving grace. Thank you Oakland University English Department! Taking steps forward with depression on my back (imagine an obese Baby Yoda whoâs also mean and super critical) is like walking a million-step journey without rest or fluids and needing to take a nap every 5 steps. When I insisted that Common Ground in Pontiac keep me, things slowly improved. I didnât leave my bed most of the first day. I started taking venlafaxine (My Cousin Venny), the antidepressant that Iâm still taking today (along with the mood stabilizer Wellbutrin XL - theyâre a cute couple). I left Common Ground feeling better. I moved back to where I decided I was my best self for the time being: Athens, Georgia. After living in Athens for 9 years, from 2005-2014, Iâd become used to sunlight in the winter. I wasnât used to the climate of my youth (Michigan) anymore. Cold, snow and gray skies were no longer acceptable. I was blessed to have a father and friends who helped me return to where I felt I needed to be. And, Yadda Yadda Yadda, here we are. My 46th Birthday just passed. Iâve always been a late bloomer, but now I am really ready to fully bloom. I know that whatâs holding me back is the lack of resources, not any lack of courage. I am courageous.Mom was so open and unashamed about the challenges of her mental illnesses. 2 weeks before she died, she spoke to social work students at Wayne State University about the stigma of mental illness. She was so proud of herself, as was I. I know that, were she not so bold and unashamed that her brain was different, I would probably still be trying to pretend I am ânormalâ while still being remarkably miserable. And with an unmedicated BabyYodaa the size of Jabba The Hutt on my back. That alternate reality sounds even more miserable than my worst days now. I recently applied to the prAna Dream Job contest: dreamjob.prana.com. I didn't win. A young woman named Queena did: czcams.com/video/tGEV00WNDDo/video.html. Here's my video: czcams.com/video/rAae9hNyTjE/video.html. It has been viewed nearly 200 times by prAna staff, so I think it was strongly considered. It was fun to daydream about winning the $100,000 prize. The funny thing about daydreams is that they persist and morph, even when the route of your life changes unexpectedly. Does anything go expectedly? Not in my life. I know that there is $100,000 out there. Or more. Money is just a tool. Last year I joked with a new friend from HeadCount that âI just need $1 million.â He quickly countered âThere is $1 million out there.â I just need an inspirational plan and the Shark Tank moment in front of the right Angel Investors. And a passionate appeal to friends like you. Last year I also went to the Relix/ Relix Live Music Conference and a Zuckerberg Institute workshop in NYC. Both experiences only energized me and reminded me that Iâm onto something. Mike Roderick was the speaker and is now a friend and a mentor. And an inspiration. His instincts and knowledge about marketing and branding will inspire me for years to come, I am sure. People often feel helpless when a friend needs major help with their mental health, physical health or basic needs. But when they are asked for $1 or more, along with a plan for a road to recovery, they can quickly imagine how their donation can do specific good for a specific friend they adore and believe in. A world of possibility starts inside the brains of one, then many. Maybe it is because I am the youngest child of my generation on both sides of my family, but I still wanna be adored: czcams.com/video/4D2qcbu26gs/video.html Momâs mental health advocacy has inspired my own advocacy work the last 2,669 days since she suddenly left this mortal coil. But whoâs counting? Iâm sounding the alarm: www.economist.com/graphic-detail/2020/01/30/americas-suicide-rate-has-increased-for-13-years-in-a-row The stigma of mental health, mental illness and treatment is cracking. I want to crush it. Help me? The dream of Brain Aid is concerts large and small for mental health awareness with music, TED Talks-level speakers & comedians performing in the spirit of Comic Relief. And in the spirit of Robin Williams. In 2014, I asked a big rock starâs manager, who is also my friend Malissaâs husband, to participate in and play at The Detroit Fest to raise mental health awareness. He said no. He also said I might have to ask 500 people to get one yes. He was wrong. Iâm still asking. And I will never give up. :) I know that the ultimate dream of Brain Aid being a large concert isnât realistic until a major rock star hooks their star to mine. When that happens, all bets are off. Until then, Iâm pushing forward to organize Brain Aid concerts in Athens and other cities this Fall. September is Suicide Prevention Month and October 10th is World Mental Health Day. But May is World Mental Health Month and Iâm constantly reminded that tomorrow isnât a promise. Itâs a dream. Surviving today is always my number one goal. Every damn day......!
Hello Family & Friends & Friends I haven't met yet. Itâs my birthday week. I am hoping that this will prove that The Six Degrees of Stephen Ernest Cramer is just as much of a powerhouse crew as Kevin Bacon âs is. And they are! Because both of our six degrees connect to everyone: czcams.com/video/n9u-TITxwoM/video.html I filmed this Pearl Jam cover of John Lennonâs âImagineâ in Detroit in 2014: czcams.com/video/2FO316Y8JNI/video.html Iâve been imagining ever since. My whole life, really, has been about brainstorming. How my Star Wars action figures can hug. How things can be better. And creating things. And creating concerts. And creating a nonprofit. And creating many mustaches and beards. So if anyone says your friend Stephen Ernest Cramer isnât imaginative or creative, please set them straight. I will try to be as brief as possible. These are big ideas from my big skull . Please give me your full attention for just a few minutes. Please open your imagination while you read these words. Please allow me to introduce myself first to those who were unaware of me until right now. My name is Stephen Ernest Cramer. I was born in Akron, Ohio on February 10, 1974. I like to think that Devo was playing nearby: czcams.com/video/jadvt7CbH1o/video.html I was raised mostly in Royal Oak, a suburb of Detroit, Michigan. My father was a librarian and my mother was a social worker/therapist. But she was sooooo much more than that. She was, and still is, my mental health hero. She had been sexually traumatized as a child, and received different diagnoses (Shizophrenia, etc.) during adult life, but she *always* kept trying the next thing. And then the next thing. She was always hopeful, despite her deep-rooted pain. I remember her maniacally playing solitaire in the middle of the night to calm down her thoughts when I was a child. She mostly kept it from my older sister and I. But I have a clear memory from the 1980s when she collapsed in tears in my arms after her therapist said that he didn't know how to help her anymore. She was also misdiagnosed with multiple personality disorder. Her best diagnosis came near the end of her life in 2012. She got on a good mix of meds. She was in a good place mentally and spiritually when her body shut down. I am so thankful to Dr. Linda Hoes for helping her. She later helped me. Mental health has been my primary passion since Mom died. Itâs as if her torch was passed. Iâm not letting go of it & Iâm not putting it down. Becoming an advocate has also helped me make my own mental health primary for my own self-care. Everyone has mental health. And everyone loves someone with a mental illness. I was diagnosed as Bipolar II in 2016. When the psychiatrist told me, I said âThatâs the Good One, Right?â. Generalized diagnoses are great, but I think my best diagnosis came when I was born: Stephen Ernest Cramer. I think I covered up my mental health issues (Mania/Depression/Anxiety/Attention-Defecit) from Mom in order to protect her. She died of natural causes at age 66. I was 38. 2012 was a rocky year. Before Mom passed away in late October, I was laid off from my job at American Red Cross that I had worked at for 7+ years. I had decided to pursue work in the nonprofit sector because I wanted to help people. I still do. Also in 2012, my 25+ year case of Crohn's Disease (Healthline: Living with Crohn's Disease) caught up with me. The scar tissue from the disease's immune response and inflammation (CD attacks the lining of the intestine because it mistakenly views it as a foreign invader) had blocked my intestine, and I needed about 8 inches removed by surgery. Thank goodness I wasn't born in the Middle Ages! Thank you modern medicine. My primary symptoms have always been fatigue and diarrhea. My gastroenterologist never seemed too curious about my mental health. Gut health and mental health are inextricably linked. That needs to be more widely appreciated: www.crohnscolitisfoundation.org/mental-health/depression-anxiety czcams.com/video/8LqGGCJxATY/video.html After returning Mom's ashes to the earth in the Smoky Mountains in November 2012, I was finally able to start processing my grief. Grief is the price we pay for love. I firmly believe that. It's worth it. I sobbed in my wife's arms after talking to my mother in-law and realizing that I would never talk to Mom on the phone again: czcams.com/video/AqGQTGxRiTw/video.html. More grief and depression happened. And therapy. During a marriage counseling session, I told our therapist that I thought about death every day. I wasnât actively suicidal, but I had to get the thought out of my head and share it with two important people: my wife and our therapist Tim. The next day, my wife insisted that I go to to hospital. I resisted, but she pleaded. So I went and got started on my first antidepressant. When the lowest dose of Prozac didnât fix me in 6 weeks, my wife left. But still, I felt intensely loved when she pushed me to seek treatment. We got divorced, I moved to Michigan, Yadda Yadda Yadda. I feel so blessed that #CosmoAroundTown took the journey forward and northward with me. In Detroit, I founded The Detroit Fest. I had previously been the Lead Organizer for Detroit Summer Smash, a concert series that raised money for various charities from 1999-2008. Those concerts were inspired from my first visit to Athens for the 1998 Kindercore Vinyl Records Popfest. I produced several of the Detroit Fest concerts in 2015 to raise money and awareness for the mental health advocacy nonprofits Six Feet Over and Suck It Suicide. But I was still hurting. At one point, I asked myself âWhy hasnât there been a Live Aid or Farm Aid-style concert for mental health awareness?!???!!!!!?â The answer was simple: Because I thought of it & it was up to me to act on my idea: czcams.com/video/nFjelyx8PGo/video.html Four years ago this month, I checked into the hospital in Michigan & made them keep me. Iâm not sure if I was suicidal by definition, but I could barely function. It was so heavy and my apartment was cold. My car had just died. I had fallen off my meds. I had just turned 42. And my prospects were dwindling. I still have good days and bad days. To be honest, I still have just as many bad days as good days. But Iâm still fighting. And trying the next thing. And the next thing. The key is I have a plan forward. Every disease wants to win. My depression lurks behind every decision that I make, from routine life maintenance choices to larger life choices. But I know that the future is bright. As long as I make optimism my guiding light. I talked about my ideas for Brain Aid during my one week stay at Common Ground (commongroundhelps.org) in Pontiac with my fellow patients, some of whom were there for drug addiction. I am confident that Brain Aid will manifest into something much larger than it has been: for 3 years, I've lead the production of concerts and an art show in Athens, Georgia. We've grown a following on social media. But there much more room to grow. Please check out these links: www.huffpost.com/entry/depression-anxiety-same-time_l_5cd43c54e4b09f321bdcfca9 mixcloud.com/rabbitbox/rb61-an-unquiet-mind-stephen-cramer/ tinyurl.com/TheCrashandRidePodcastBrainAid flagpole.com/music/music-features/2017/09/13/brain-aid-fest-brings-mental-health-awareness-to-the-athens-stage flagpole.com/music/music-features/2019/10/02/brain-aid-fest-raises-mental-health-awareness
I know that, if Iâm depressed & bed-ridden for a few days while other people are making inroads on something that I sparked, my depression will weaken. I fantasize about my depression being like the Wicked Witch of the West. My depression will scream âIâm melting! Iâm melting!â this year. Metaphors are my saving grace. Thank you Oakland University English Department! Taking steps forward with depression on my back (imagine an obese Baby Yoda whoâs also mean and super critical) is like walking a million-step journey without rest or fluids and needing to take a nap every 5 steps.
When I insisted that Common Ground in Pontiac keep me, things slowly improved. I didnât leave my bed most of the first day. I started taking venlafaxine (My Cousin Venny), the antidepressant that Iâm still taking today (along with the mood stabilizer Wellbutrin XL - theyâre a cute couple). I left Common Ground feeling better. I moved back to where I decided I was my best self for the time being: Athens, Georgia. After living in Athens for 9 years, from 2005-2014, Iâd become used to sunlight in the winter. I wasnât used to the climate of my youth (Michigan) anymore. Cold, snow and gray skies were no longer acceptable. I was blessed to have a father and friends who helped me return to where I felt I needed to be. And, Yadda Yadda Yadda, here we are.
My 46th Birthday just passed. Iâve always been a late bloomer, but now I am really ready to fully bloom. I know that whatâs holding me back is the lack of resources, not any lack of courage. I am courageous.Mom was so open and unashamed about the challenges of her mental illnesses. 2 weeks before she died, she spoke to social work students at Wayne State University about the stigma of mental illness. She was so proud of herself, as was I. I know that, were she not so bold and unashamed that her brain was different, I would probably still be trying to pretend I am ânormalâ while still being remarkably miserable. And with an unmedicated BabyYodaa the size of Jabba The Hutt on my back. That alternate reality sounds even more miserable than my worst days now.
I recently applied to the prAna Dream Job contest: dreamjob.prana.com. I didn't win. A young woman named Queena did: czcams.com/video/tGEV00WNDDo/video.html. Here's my video: czcams.com/video/rAae9hNyTjE/video.html. It has been viewed nearly 200 times by prAna staff, so I think it was strongly considered. It was fun to daydream about winning the $100,000 prize. The funny thing about daydreams is that they persist and morph, even when the route of your life changes unexpectedly. Does anything go expectedly? Not in my life. I know that there is $100,000 out there. Or more. Money is just a tool.
Last year I joked with a new friend from HeadCount that âI just need $1 million.â He quickly countered âThere is $1 million out there.â I just need an inspirational plan and the Shark Tank moment in front of the right Angel Investors. And a passionate appeal to friends like you. Last year I also went to the Relix/ Relix Live Music Conference and a Zuckerberg Institute workshop in NYC. Both experiences only energized me and reminded me that Iâm onto something. Mike Roderick was the speaker and is now a friend and a mentor. And an inspiration. His instincts and knowledge about marketing and branding will inspire me for years to come, I am sure.
People often feel helpless when a friend needs major help with their mental health, physical health or basic needs. But when they are asked for $1 or more, along with a plan for a road to recovery, they can quickly imagine how their donation can do specific good for a specific friend they adore and believe in. A world of possibility starts inside the brains of one, then many.
Maybe it is because I am the youngest child of my generation on both sides of my family, but I still wanna be adored: czcams.com/video/4D2qcbu26gs/video.html
Momâs mental health advocacy has inspired my own advocacy work the last 2,669 days since she suddenly left this mortal coil. But whoâs counting?
Iâm sounding the alarm:
www.economist.com/graphic-detail/2020/01/30/americas-suicide-rate-has-increased-for-13-years-in-a-row
The stigma of mental health, mental illness and treatment is cracking. I want to crush it. Help me? The dream of Brain Aid is concerts large and small for mental health awareness with music, TED Talks-level speakers & comedians performing in the spirit of Comic Relief. And in the spirit of Robin Williams.
In 2014, I asked a big rock starâs manager, who is also my friend Malissaâs husband, to participate in and play at The Detroit Fest to raise mental health awareness. He said no. He also said I might have to ask 500 people to get one yes. He was wrong. Iâm still asking. And I will never give up. :)
I know that the ultimate dream of Brain Aid being a large concert isnât realistic until a major rock star hooks their star to mine. When that happens, all bets are off. Until then, Iâm pushing forward to organize Brain Aid concerts in Athens and other cities this Fall. September is Suicide Prevention Month and October 10th is World Mental Health Day. But May is World Mental Health Month and Iâm constantly reminded that tomorrow isnât a promise. Itâs a dream. Surviving today is always my number one goal. Every damn day......!
gf.me/u/xj722j
Hello Family & Friends & Friends I haven't met yet. Itâs my birthday week. I am hoping that this will prove that The Six Degrees of Stephen Ernest Cramer is just as much of a powerhouse crew as Kevin Bacon âs is. And they are! Because both of our six degrees connect to everyone: czcams.com/video/n9u-TITxwoM/video.html
I filmed this Pearl Jam cover of John Lennonâs âImagineâ in Detroit in 2014: czcams.com/video/2FO316Y8JNI/video.html
Iâve been imagining ever since. My whole life, really, has been about brainstorming. How my Star Wars action figures can hug. How things can be better. And creating things. And creating concerts. And creating a nonprofit. And creating many mustaches and beards. So if anyone says your friend Stephen Ernest Cramer isnât imaginative or creative, please set them straight.
I will try to be as brief as possible. These are big ideas from my big skull . Please give me your full attention for just a few minutes. Please open your imagination while you read these words. Please allow me to introduce myself first to those who were unaware of me until right now.
My name is Stephen Ernest Cramer. I was born in Akron, Ohio on February 10, 1974. I like to think that Devo was playing nearby: czcams.com/video/jadvt7CbH1o/video.html
I was raised mostly in Royal Oak, a suburb of Detroit, Michigan. My father was a librarian and my mother was a social worker/therapist. But she was sooooo much more than that. She was, and still is, my mental health hero. She had been sexually traumatized as a child, and received different diagnoses (Shizophrenia, etc.) during adult life, but she *always* kept trying the next thing. And then the next thing. She was always hopeful, despite her deep-rooted pain. I remember her maniacally playing solitaire in the middle of the night to calm down her thoughts when I was a child. She mostly kept it from my older sister and I. But I have a clear memory from the 1980s when she collapsed in tears in my arms after her therapist said that he didn't know how to help her anymore. She was also misdiagnosed with multiple personality disorder. Her best diagnosis came near the end of her life in 2012. She got on a good mix of meds. She was in a good place mentally and spiritually when her body shut down. I am so thankful to Dr. Linda Hoes for helping her. She later helped me.
Mental health has been my primary passion since Mom died. Itâs as if her torch was passed. Iâm not letting go of it & Iâm not putting it down. Becoming an advocate has also helped me make my own mental health primary for my own self-care. Everyone has mental health. And everyone loves someone with a mental illness.
I was diagnosed as Bipolar II in 2016. When the psychiatrist told me, I said âThatâs the Good One, Right?â. Generalized diagnoses are great, but I think my best diagnosis came when I was born: Stephen Ernest Cramer.
I think I covered up my mental health issues (Mania/Depression/Anxiety/Attention-Defecit) from Mom in order to protect her. She died of natural causes at age 66. I was 38. 2012 was a rocky year. Before Mom passed away in late October, I was laid off from my job at American Red Cross that I had worked at for 7+ years. I had decided to pursue work in the nonprofit sector because I wanted to help people. I still do. Also in 2012, my 25+ year case of Crohn's Disease (Healthline: Living with Crohn's Disease) caught up with me. The scar tissue from the disease's immune response and inflammation (CD attacks the lining of the intestine because it mistakenly views it as a foreign invader) had blocked my intestine, and I needed about 8 inches removed by surgery. Thank goodness I wasn't born in the Middle Ages! Thank you modern medicine. My primary symptoms have always been fatigue and diarrhea. My gastroenterologist never seemed too curious about my mental health. Gut health and mental health are inextricably linked. That needs to be more widely appreciated:
www.crohnscolitisfoundation.org/mental-health/depression-anxiety
czcams.com/video/8LqGGCJxATY/video.html
After returning Mom's ashes to the earth in the Smoky Mountains in November 2012, I was finally able to start processing my grief. Grief is the price we pay for love. I firmly believe that. It's worth it. I sobbed in my wife's arms after talking to my mother in-law and realizing that I would never talk to Mom on the phone again: czcams.com/video/AqGQTGxRiTw/video.html.
More grief and depression happened. And therapy. During a marriage counseling session, I told our therapist that I thought about death every day. I wasnât actively suicidal, but I had to get the thought out of my head and share it with two important people: my wife and our therapist Tim. The next day, my wife insisted that I go to to hospital. I resisted, but she pleaded. So I went and got started on my first antidepressant. When the lowest dose of Prozac didnât fix me in 6 weeks, my wife left. But still, I felt intensely loved when she pushed me to seek treatment. We got divorced, I moved to Michigan, Yadda Yadda Yadda. I feel so blessed that #CosmoAroundTown took the journey forward and northward with me.
In Detroit, I founded The Detroit Fest. I had previously been the Lead Organizer for Detroit Summer Smash, a concert series that raised money for various charities from 1999-2008. Those concerts were inspired from my first visit to Athens for the 1998 Kindercore Vinyl Records Popfest. I produced several of the Detroit Fest concerts in 2015 to raise money and awareness for the mental health advocacy nonprofits Six Feet Over and Suck It Suicide. But I was still hurting. At one point, I asked myself âWhy hasnât there been a Live Aid or Farm Aid-style concert for mental health awareness?!???!!!!!?â The answer was simple: Because I thought of it & it was up to me to act on my idea: czcams.com/video/nFjelyx8PGo/video.html
Four years ago this month, I checked into the hospital in Michigan & made them keep me. Iâm not sure if I was suicidal by definition, but I could barely function. It was so heavy and my apartment was cold. My car had just died. I had fallen off my meds. I had just turned 42. And my prospects were dwindling. I still have good days and bad days. To be honest, I still have just as many bad days as good days. But Iâm still fighting. And trying the next thing. And the next thing. The key is I have a plan forward. Every disease wants to win. My depression lurks behind every decision that I make, from routine life maintenance choices to larger life choices. But I know that the future is bright. As long as I make optimism my guiding light.
I talked about my ideas for Brain Aid during my one week stay at Common Ground (commongroundhelps.org) in Pontiac with my fellow patients, some of whom were there for drug addiction. I am confident that Brain Aid will manifest into something much larger than it has been: for 3 years, I've lead the production of concerts and an art show in Athens, Georgia. We've grown a following on social media. But there much more room to grow. Please check out these links:
www.huffpost.com/entry/depression-anxiety-same-time_l_5cd43c54e4b09f321bdcfca9
mixcloud.com/rabbitbox/rb61-an-unquiet-mind-stephen-cramer/
tinyurl.com/TheCrashandRidePodcastBrainAid
flagpole.com/music/music-features/2017/09/13/brain-aid-fest-brings-mental-health-awareness-to-the-athens-stage
flagpole.com/music/music-features/2019/10/02/brain-aid-fest-raises-mental-health-awareness