You Can Only Watch This Video If You're Average
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- čas přidán 2. 07. 2024
- Today's video marks a new approach as we aim to extend support to a group we haven't focused on much within our community: the average person. Often, our advice tends to cater to specific challenges, but today, we're addressing those who may feel they're simply 'chilling in the parking lot of life.'
Learn more from Dr. K in his Guide to Mental Health: bit.ly/3qfJBOf
Not sure which module to start on? Take our quiz: bit.ly/47dGzKj
Join us as we explore uncharted territory, offering insights and guidance for individuals navigating life's everyday challenges. We'll delve into practical suggestions and strategies, aiming to provide valuable advice for those seeking direction or looking for a push forward.
▼ Timestamps ▼
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00:12 - The different people we help with psychiatry
01:48 - Why do average people avoid risks and passions
04:50 - Changing the way you approach risks
07:08 - We don’t allow people to be content with average
09:03 - Where does your doubt come from?
11:30 - The 4 Purusharthas
13:14 - Working through your regret
14:58 - Advice for an average person
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DISCLAIMER
Healthy Gamer is an online community and resource platform for gamers and their families. It does not provide medical services or professional counseling, and it is not a substitute for professional medical care. Our coaches are peer supporters, not professionally trained experts, and they cannot provide medical service. If you or a loved one are experiencing an emergency, please call your nation's emergency telephone number.
All guests of Healthy Gamer are informed of the public, non-medical nature of the content and have expressly agreed to share their story.
#healthygamergg #mentalhealth #lifeadvice
Now that I think about it I’ve never seen/heard a psychiatrist talk about helping average people before.
that's because average people don't think they have a REAL problem and majority (of course average) wouldn't think so either. Unless it negatively affects people around them, they wouldn't think about it. And even then, people in general don't really want to rely on others, so they won't look at psychiatry. Also money. Just many barriers they'd have to go through. But what this video is doing is spreading awareness.
I think most of their clients are "average people", they tend to have either "general depression or anxiety", aka "low grade/subclinical depression/anxiety" and the meds work straight a way, and they don't complain or anything because they got helped essentially in the first appointment. Then they just go for maintenance for their meds.
Because this world is dangerous for people who are content
That's just Dr K spinning a yarn
I believe positive psychology or happy psychology (or something) is something doing just this.
Average gang waddup
How do you do, fellow normies? 🧐
@@robertminnie782 yknow, just the usual NPC tasks!
Yo
As a 52-year-old empty-nester, I’m in a very strange place right now. More than 20 years were spent on my kids, and now I’m thinking my life is over, that I’m too old for anything. I don’t know how not to think like this.
Average folks watching their favorite Hindu gamer ADHD shrink?!? 😂
A therapist helped me 10 years ago to give myself permission to pursue interests/hobbies. That led me to building custom lightsabers, becoming a portrait photographer, learning bass guitar, and now preparing to become a pilot. I haven’t made much money on those, but they’ve brought me happiness. Life’s got to lead somewhere. Why not let it be fun?
Right on brother!
I wish I could do that. Having depression before, and how long it lasted made me think I was ugly and that my/the experiences that gave it to me made me ugly, so I hate having eyes on me. It's like with one look people would know I was different, therefore I don't want to be in an archery class with a bunch of others that aren't as 'shy', and are as pure, outgoing, and undamaged as I wish I was. It's easier if someone goes with me.- I think I'm fantastic, don't get me wrong. Trying new things is a make-it-into-a-habit thing.
Life doesn't have to lead anywhere. Maybe it's just fine right where it is
That “how dare you be content?!” Vibe is very real… maybe it’s those who are most dissatisfied, want everyone to feel the same way
This is something that my chemistry sir said to me 😂
Those dissatisfied tend to be the ambitious types, and those are more likely to get to the top precisely because they try riskier gambles more often. So yeah, that's probably exactly what's going on.
@@danielaviladeoliveirasilva1872 I am ambitious but at the same time satisfied you can be both ... You don't have to be dissatisfied with your life to become ambitious
My resistance of being average stems from always being exceptional as a kid and my parents expecting nothing less. As an adult in the real world, i have encountered a lot of exceptional people, and i haven't given myself the grace to suck as a beginner. Its an unrealistic expectation that everyone expects you to have your shit figured out straight out of college.
I feel similar. I was the smartest kid around growing up, and I received lots of adult praise, adulation, and expectation because of that. I know I have disappointed some people. I have a job that makes me happy, but it doesn't pay much and my dad has explicitly told me he'd rather I earn more money than be happy. But I'm content today, and I'm going to let myself be content today.
@@nosnah227 I feel you. Honestly you're lucky to have a career you love. Don't let your dad talk you out of it. It sucks being in a soul sucking job way more than not being rich.
I had a similar experience. From being a kid all the way until I was working as a professional, almost everyone I met had the same view of me - that they see me as this exceptionally smart and amazing person. When in reality, I'm constantly struggling trying to keep up with whats happening around me.
At the peak of the COVID pandemic, I quit on almost everything.
Now I'm just doing an ordinary remote job thats really chill, and I'm able to actually breathe and feel free for the first time since 2021.
@@tony7787 The problem is that they expect you to know everything straight out of college, when the entire education system produces weak, stupid and useless people, while wasting 12-20 years of your life and your youth. Ask me how I know.
Vienna waits for you
As a 52-year-old empty-nester, I’m in a very strange place right now. More than 20 years were spent on my kids, and now I’m thinking my life is over, that I’m too old for anything. I don’t know how not to think like this. I needed to hear this episode.
Well, are you living your life for your kids? If so, then that would explain why it feels empty once the kids are gone. If you place your value as a human being in nourishing offspring, then once that is no longer available, your perceived value will plummet.
I'm young so grain of salt but I think it's never too late to start something new -- that said it's also okay to take time to be proud of yourself and just relax for a while
I try to think that I'm not living one life but multiple eras of a life.
If about every 10 years or so every cell in my body is replaced by another, maybe I'm a different person every 10 years or so.
Then it's hard to feel all connected to mistakes of the past and my life feels more immediate.
The kids are out of the house?
Time to put on the ol' sunglasses and rock out to a new era in life!
@@Pfromm007that's a very interesting outlook.
(I hope/guess you speak german) Ich kanns nicht nachvollziehen. Wenn ich mir jemanden ü50 vorstelle der erfolgreich Kinder ins Leben gesetzt und ausm Haus gebracht hat. Dann denke ich doch das man das Leben echt verstanden haben muss? Fehlt dir der Antrieb auf etwas Neues oder macht dir nichts mehr Spaß? Oder fühlt sich das Leben ohne sich um seine Kinder kümmern zu müssen sinnlos an? Ich bin 28 und würde das gerne verstehen können wie du dich fühlst.
damn, the part about avoiding every chance of future regret hits hard. Like maybe we aren’t these machines designed to never make mistakes and to be perfectly happy and content 100 percent of the time. You will always face some type of problems or unpleasant emotions. Shit happens. That’s a really freeing way to look at it
It's turtles all the way down again. You worry about that? Well, then why don't you worry you'll get hit by a car? Why don't you worry a flower pot will fall on your head, as you leave the house? Why do you even get out of bed? You could stub your toe.
Worry less, do more. Or rather, just enjoy life. If you can. And if you can't, make it so you can. (I know, some people don't even get to do that. But that's not the average, which we are talking about here.)
"In psychiatry, we only try to fix the people who are busted"
This is an interesting point. Many people only go to therapy when something is seriously "wrong", in the same way many people only get their car serviced if a check engine light or other indicator comes on. But just like we perform "preventative maintenance" on our vehicles (alignments, tire pressure checks, oil changes and so on) it also makes perfect sense to do "preventative maintenance on your mind and body by staying relatively fit and having a professional inspect your thoughts, because it prevents nastier consequences from manifesting later down the line.
yeah it should be like doing your yearly physical. the problem is even doing that is hard because capitalism, let alone doing yearly psychological checks. the profit motive really screwed us up bad, especially in the states
I'm by no means fully content with my life, I feel like there's a lot I still need to do, but I'm not particularly ambitious either. I don't care about six digit salaries, positions of power, being the next Einstein or finding the cure for cancer, and for some reason people always tried to make me feel guilty about it calling me mediocre; and yet I still couldn't bring myself to care about that shit. Now I know that it's ok to be happy where you are.
Spot on.
"All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone."
Blaise Pascal
I have always had a simple mind (I don't mean I'm intellectually impaired), which means that I have been emotionally stable and content for most of my life (I'm 60+). Even at times when I was suffering from jobs I didn't like, I was enjoying my life outside work. I went to concerts or to dances and did not think a second about work. I cooked good food. For about 15 years now I have done photography and gardening. I fail at those all the time, but I have an occasional success too here and there. I just enjoy doing things and the result does not have to be exceptional. I'm simple this way, easy to get along with, rarely angry, rarely deeply unhappy. I almost feel like I have a child's mind, a mind that discovers new things all the time - like a new person to this world does. Nothing in the world is dull and ordinary if you just take a moment to really look at things and to think about them.
I don't know if I qualify for average in the passion point. But the thing is that I am passionate about so many things that I don't excel on any one thing. I don't know if my biggest passion is music (listening, sometimes dancing too) or gardening and houseplants. With plants I fail all the time. Weather conditions are impossible to control. Plants die for whatever reason. Dry summer, wet winter, too cold, too hot. Or some goddamn animal eats them up. Nevertheless, I looove digging the soil and seeing new growth coming up. Or growth stopping in spectacular colors in the fall. Or seeing the bare trees in winter; finally their structure shows. Trees are so different, how they branch, how they root, what their bark is like. I need 500 years more to get to know them better. And I did not mention shrubs and flowers yet...
I hope to live a life like yours.
That was beautiful to read
I just don’t understand how someone can still make it to 60+ working at a job that doesn’t make him happy. I guess many people have passions or hobbies (many times similar) but very few manage to make their passion profitable… I just think that working 8 hours every day on something you don’t even care about is a psychological torture, or at least in 5/10 years time your life would just be filled with regret
Saying this after two years working at a job I couldn’t care less, I haven’t quit yet just because I think it’s my only option…
@@nicolagherardi7531 The job market has been a bumpy road for very many reasons. First, when growing up nobody told me it was important to have a dream or to do soul-searching. The default expectation was to find a job that was ok and that would cover your economic needs. I had very little ambition in terms of reaching an important position. I rather focused on doing things well and naively believed that would carry me to better paying jobs and stability. But then Soviet block came down and the whole European economic scene changed dramatically. US has a big job market, which is not the case in smaller countries. Unemployment has been high ever since the Soviet crash and I was told at 40 already that I was an old job seeker. I have barely been able to make any personal choices about jobs for a long time as I have had to take what I can get. I wouldn't say that any of my jobs has been horrible. Several have been part-time, which has left me a lot of time of my own. Luckily I have not had any major money concerns. After all this I just shrug my shoulders and don't bother myself much with thoughts of work or a career (ha ha!).
I have no problem with being average, I don't really want to stand out. I want to have a peaceful, chill and simple honest life.
This has been so liberating for me. I always had that inner voice saying things like "you should get a side hustle" and "you should be working towards FIRE". But I'm content with my life barring maybe that one day I want to live in a home that I own. I feel like I can work for that and take some risk on that now.
Bold of you to assume that we will be able to afford a home without doing any side hustle
Something else i would like to say is that maybe this means you are average in terms of how you spread out what you make but, thats kinda it. Someone could very much not be an average person even if they dont have a side hustle. Side hustles are a totally modern thing
@@Kalitayy Thankfully the country I live in makes it much easier compared to say the states or UK where house prices are absolutely bonkers. Although it's also becoming harder by the day here too so maybe I will have to work my butt off sometime soon...
I can't explain how much i love this channel, thank You Dr.K
People simp females most of time
@@Namrec_Molai what
@@Namrec_Molai is this related to video?
@@Namrec_Molai what are you saying
@@Namrec_MolaiI think you got the wrong comment section.
Idk why being ordinary is considered lame. I'm proud of being average!
It's way better than being f up by handicap, social difference and the consequential social trauma. It's probably easier to deal with.
Really? Why not try to be better? I mean I’m average as well but like, I’m not proud to be average. Not saying that it’s bad but, to me it’s like saying that you dont smell, not smell good, just don’t smell. Why be proud of doing the expected/minimum? Again, not saying that its bad, but like why proud?
@@captainspaceman420 Totally on the same page as you here, always strive to be better. I suppose where you can draw a line in the sand is what is an acceptable rate of improvement by your own measures, not by what pop culture dictates to you.
@@captainspaceman420 Sometimes better is not wanting to be better
It is lame and it is not something to be proud of. But, it's not something to be ashamed of either.
I feel like the world is gaslighting us into thinking this way. I tend to keep my passions to myself because when I share them, people usually just tell me it's unrealistic.
Thank you Dr. K. I am actually VERY SURE that I'm OK being average but some people in my life (family members & some friends) think that I'm too chill and like you said "not grinding" for a better future. This (video) really helped me to be more focused on my own happiness, gratitude and will enhance my self respect and self love to the next level. I'm not a super ambitious person b.t.w. I just want to have inner peace and for as long as I know I'm not harming others, I'm living a life that I want. I wish some people would understand this. All the unnecessary stress trying to be what others expect me to be bothers me a lot at times.
are you vegan, if you say you are not harming others? just wondering, I'm not a vegan myself. Or do you only include humans in "others?
@@juraj5277 vegan don't harm anything? I'm not vegan. I don't have to be vegan or not to be harming others. Yes, "others" as in human. I hope I'm not harming anyone but I don't think I am not too. Why vegan? I'm confused man... 😊✌🏻
@@juraj5277you're not vegan yet you ask this weird question? Obviously they were reffering to people
Keep at it king. You're right where you need to be :)
You gotta do what makes you happy bud
This was something I was trying to explain with my own therapist shortly before I left and he just couldn't understand my frustration with my uneventfully average lifestyle and quite frankly neither did I. I knew I was happy with the progress of my own life but I always felt like my own happiness wasn't enough. There will always be someone having more fun than me and enjoying life more than me and it got under my skin. This video really helped put a voice to those feelings
and dont forget those who seem happier arent like that all the time either
Discovering Dr. K was the best thing, that has happened to me, so far! The only guy in the internet who's saying "It's okay to be average, don't try to fix problems that might never exist in the first place"... The rest of the internet made us believe that the problems are sure to arise if we're staying average ... Thank you, Dr.K
risk aversion /passion aversion is 100% me.
"better to be safe than sorry" is a mantra my mom repeated to me probably every day when something of even slight risk presented itself
as an adult i realize there were many things im sorry i was TOO safe about.
I've been actively held against risking throughout my life and hated it and tried to protest against it yet have found that i've adopted this behaviour. Now i don't have problem with being passionate, it feels GOOD to be passionate (as long as it is in my heavily equipped shed and not out in the field working for the company that puts tons of responsibility onto me and pays me tons of money for it), but it feels like i'm gonna disappoint people if i risk going for it. And i KNOW there will be nothing bad, but that dumb rejection sensitivity plays against me and i start rejecting myself, putting impostor onto myself, blaming myself, telling myself that if i don't have 80% of progress on the first day every day then it does not worth it and disappoint myself, etc etc.
Gotta find a way to un-average myself to be "real" me and this video actually helps to reflect tbh.
Solid advice... I just did this and I've never been happier. Screw hustle culture.
This helped me accept my average life. Im tired of chasing excellence. I just want to be at peace & happy. As long as I have that, I'm okay
I feel like this video gave me some of the most important insights I might ever need in my lifetime. I always felt like I didn't suffer from anything psychological all that much and that I'm not in a dire need or psychological help, but the strain from worrying about myself and the future, the little critical voice was always there - so even if Dr. K's usual videos felt somewhat relatable, this particular video resonated with me a lot more than any other.
I'll try to internalise it over time and maybe even pass my thoughts on to others. This is so important because in this video, somehow, some of the most critical questions that people have been pondering on throughout history are addressed. Humanity has endured a lot in different ways and it produces all those contagious fears.
A perfectly timed video as always. I feel like it's hard to determine what I'm passionate about, and I've noticed that I'll berate myself when I start a new creative endeavor because it's not up to my standard, so I must not actually be passionate about it. Hearing affirmation that that little voice is in fact my passion is very enlightening to hear. I actually have several things I'm passionate about, I've just talked myself out of it over years and years until it's unrecognizable as passion. Thanks Dr. K!
You'll never grasp the amount of help that you've provided to this world, to this existence of time. And no amount of thanks will do to actually thank you. Greetings from Mexico
This made me realize that its not really always about your future but its about basically living in the moment. A lot of times I always overthink about my future, like potential problems, where i see myself, will I even enjoy let alone survive life in the next 4, 5, 10 years but at the end of the day it all boils down on the now.
i think risk avoidance really just drove me into anxiety, im often too worried the thing i want to do/plan do it, is a mistake and ill feel like ive messed up before even doing the thing that was a mistake,
so i feel ive made the mistake before even deciding what i should do.
it turns into analysis paralysis or intense procrastination.
This was spot on Alok, thanks for this! Seldom I resonate with videos as much as I did with this one, and it was very comforting to hear that it is in fact okay to be content.
Really needed to hear something like this. Thanks, Doctor K.
thank you for this! I realized I am really passionate adverse. I want to create music and maybe even content on here, but I always sike myself out because my inner dialogue always belittles me. I've even come to the point where I don't give af about what others say like you are tone deaf because I have said way worse things to myself than what anybody else can say. And I have always wanted to pursue music as a hobby just for the hell of it, but my own mind is my worst enemy. Like there are many days where I feel like I can do it and practice the guitar and stuff, and then I always find that my perfectionism always comes crashing in saying you clearly won't be good if you can't even do this one song, even though I know I am just beginning to learn. Another problem is that I always see people online be like please just listen to my song to help my music get out there, and I sort of feel like the market is so saturated that I will never be able to be like them, idk it's weird, I have motivation to do it eventually, like writing a song is definitely one of my big goals in life, I just always feel my mind procrastinating and saying you are not that one. I think it's also because I have gotten my hopes and dreams up on so many occasions and had it crushed right in front of my eyes that I feel like there is no point in trying. I know I will write that song someday tho.
For me I am currently content with myself. I haven't been for a long time because I judged myself for everything. And I know I still have some issues nowadays, but I don't feel that bad about it anymore. At first I thought that something is wrong with me for not feeling wrong. I learned to not question that however. I am currently living a life where living with myself isn't painful to me anymore, I'm mostly in control of my emotions and actions, and I'm not about to give that up. I know a day will come where I will feel worse about myself again and I know I need to fix things, but if the feeling isn't there I wouldn't put enough effort into getting better anyway. I talked to someone close to me and they said something like this too. At the point where I want to change things in the future, I'll be wiser, my reasoning changed and I have no reason for ruining my well-being right now. I deserve to be happy. And you all do too. It's the small things that matter. Being average is something that everything in nature always leans toward anyway.
Ive always felt a bit “above average” and it has sucked because i set goals and keep upping the stakes to aim for the next big goal and next to the point i end up with goals i cant reach, ending up in a falldown of projects and/or relationships, im in a place where i can feel special but never “enough” because as im not perfect or exceptional and make mistakes that end up fatal and that torments me, the fact is that im able to perform most times but end up ruining it somehow when it becomes too much and letting people down including myself.
Its like setting the difficulty bigger and bigger to get better rewards in a game, feeling confident and then get wrecked by a surprise dificulty spike, fail and get sent back to the starting line losing everything/everyone.
I think he has made a video describing this, “Challenges of gifted kid” which may give you advice on this? Let me know what you think :)
It's ok to just be average 🤷
The solution for me was to have a mental breakdown.
I was always an above average student in school, so my standards of performance were always high. I ended up failing my first year of college/university
It was only then that I got to reflect on why I care so much. I finally realised that this was something I don't truly want and I'm now OK with getting average results.
Are you doing this because you want to or do you want these good results only because the people around you expect it?
Sounds pretty normal to me. Of course you’re not gonna have the same level of challenge if you ramp up difficulty. Sounds like you’re ramping difficulty up in too many areas of your life at once. You gotta get acclimated to the next step.
Don’t torture yourself. Just maybe narrow it down a bit. You can be proud of yourself for trying. And I‘m sure you can continue to improve, whatever it it is.
if a person is doing 50mph and you do 51mph
in 10 hours that's optimally a 10 miles difference!
you don't even need to burn yourself :D
if you do 60 and you might get a ticket
stopping and giving papers and getting a ticket might take you half an hour
you just wasted 27 miles
keep action between 60% and 80%
don't burn yourself and cause a failure
Really good video, as always. Thank you for your work, Dr. K ❤
I so needed to hear this today. There have been a lot of life changes happening to me lately, and much of it tends to make me feel like I’m not doing enough to be successful.
This is me. I want and happy doing my 9-5 admin job for ten years but company sees people like me a waste of money. They want us all to aim for that managerial position, but when one was opening they prefer hiring someone from outside of company instead of hiring internal talent.
I have always been a person willing to indulge my interests and passions. I used to be made fun of when I was younger for it. The older I have gotten, the more people admire me for it. This video made me realize why: I'm generally an average person but I never squashed that voice and I feel like people who have now wish they had the courage to do what they secretly desire.
The key for me was to act confident (even if I wasn't). It is amazing how many things that feel silly look cool if you can fake confidence.
It’s weird because I totally understand the point on passion, and yet I can’t dechipher whether I actually have unpursued passions, or I just haven’t had any. I’ve never really had any hobbies, nor anything that I’ve felt a clear longing to be part of, and yet at the same time I would love to have something like that - I’m jealous of “x” friend who can be into something like rock climbing - yet once again I don’t feel a desire to do anything like that. And it’s not that I feel I need to, but I just want to. Especially in the job market. I’m currently still studying and it’s a half half of, I chose what was “safe” and also what felt most appropriate for my own “interests”. I would just love something other than entertainment like video games or movies or music to be excited about doing.
- and as a side note, I even have thought about going into creating stuff within those above fields, and it doesn’t help that my tertiary study is not in the right field, but I still could. However, I don’t know. I worry that I’ll take some of the joy I find in those fields by spending time on the creation time, thereby oversaturing myself for enjoyment on the consumption side - but maybe that’s just me being risk averse. Just an average problem for me lol.
I think this is the most helpful video from journey in health gamer content.
Having going through emotional turmoil after covid, stuck in a place where I don't wanna be this has been of great help. Thanks healthy gamer team❤
Thank you for this video. It really resonates. But what I still have a hard time with is being below average and coming to terms with that, or grinding more. For example, I have a BA and MA and I am a public school teacher. I feel like I make significantly less money than my peers of the same qualifications, but I feel like I can't get to where they are and feel demotivated because of that.
Dang. I’ve never thought about this at all, and I really needed to hear it. Thanks dr k
This is one of the best of the non-interview videos. Really liked this one
Absolutely hit the nail on the head, thank you
Thanks for sharing this video, Dr. K. I really needed to hear this today.
This video helps me with making my priorities. I have a big, important year coming and I have worries about whether I should start now or not. I will try to separate the worries I *might* have in the future if I don't start now from the regrets I 100% have if I don't start working from now.
Even hearing this as a recovering-want-it-all (still work in process), this helps to just hear another person say „it’s okay to be happy“. Thanks!
Thanks Dr.K! I needed to hear this ❤
definitely felt that
Dr K, your channel has been quite a discovery for me while I'm going through hell and high water... Thank you so much for sharing great content ❤
This actually helped, especially the last part. I was going way too much inside my head.
I’ve been waiting for a video on this for a while now, glad to see this.
This was awesome. Thank you !
Right on Dr. K. Thanks for another one, love ya brother.
It's amazing. The video just started, I'm a software engineer working on web development. I got passions such as music, gaming and so on which I'm "very good" at (not my words). I could go pro in a video game called Brawlhalla. I had the opportunity to study music and join good bands/musicians. I had them.
But I had (and still have) that voice saying it's silly.
You just described me, w/o knowing me, and said exactly what I feel I am. Average. I have the opportunities every time but I don't take them because they are silly. I'm average but I feel I'm a failure because of my true potential I never had the courage to embrace. It's odd, I know my value but I never go for it, I always aim lower than what I can actually get and I just realize jt afterwards.
That' so true. We scared of future to the point we lose our passion and happiness to avoid something that can never happen
Idk, I seem to have followed wherever my life has led. What I mean is, like that Jim Carey movie, I just say, "Yes", to most IegaI & moraI suggestions. I've been VERY blessed with God putting ppl & situations in front of me which have all led to wonderful opportunities & opened even more doors & more opportunities! The hardest part has been choosing between two (or 4, 5, 8-10) great options! I'm in a horrible place in my life right now. Why? Bc I began saying, "No", and tried running my own life. Dr. K is spot on.
Many Blessings to You All.
Thank you Dr K for talking about this.
For simplicity let's say I've spent 40 years of punishing myself between the two states you describe. I also identify as double gifted.
It's either "I'm doing nothing and wasting my potential" or "damn I'm on the verge of burnout just to exist within corporate culture".
Here's where I'm struggling with the concept of "being content with being average".
I can't be persuaded that there exist an "average" job anymore that is viable economically. It's either toil or die.
How can you be content with average when making rent for average jobs is 3 paychecks and when I'm looking for an average job to lay low cause I burned myself out I'm competing against family men that need it as the extra job to make ends meet?
It's a scam! Maybe it has always been a scam..
I am pretty alright at both guitar and bass, have intermediate skill level in both and experience in music production/recording to a pretty granular degree but a huge dilemma I have is, I find that I have all of these ambitious ideas of grand/high output and workflow that I just can't follow through with but I feel like it would be easy when planning it out in my head. It used to be worse before, I would be scared of putting myself out there at all because of rejection/criticism, and while I've somewhat gotten past that, there's always that voice in my head no matter how far I take it thats like "what if people are just laughing at me" or "what if all of this is pointless". A lot of what fueled those voices for me was lack of confidence/self-esteem. I made it an experiment recently to see what if I just ignore those voices and see just how far I can go doing that. There's a level of emotional detachment you kind of need to have, and so far its been going well for me
I'm incredibly content and happy with my average job and my average job having more than average looking husband and my cute average daughter in our average apartment. But my mother in law absolutely is NOT ok with us being content and happy with just that. Unhappiness, for us, always comes from the outside when people tell us that we're wasting potential and living life wrong. Fuck'em.
this was unironically really eye-opening. I'm gonna save this for future reference, cuz it's one that I've needed a *lot*
I came back to this channel after a few months and still I get just the right content wow
I think many people mistake average from being mediocre, an npc without passions. However, those people could teach you to take it easy, that means if you want to grind is fine and if you don’t, it’s fine as well. It’s fine being you because you are enough
This hit hard today, thanks DR K.
Love the enthousiasm, also really interesting to see these perspectives :D
THIS!!! I needed this.
I relate to this so much but I've also have taken more risks in the past year with discovering new passions, I started doing improv comedy and doing live performances which has done wonders for me.
thanks for your work man i don't think i've ever procrastinated so efficiently
Purposeful apathy is my greatest trait. If there's some issue I have no control over... I just don't care about it. No point getting spun up trying to fix something I have no control over if I've done everything I could reasonably be expected to do to fix it. If I don't have the money to go on a vacation one year or the next, I don't care, I've got books to read and games to play. I don't need to spend money to have time off to relax. If I don't have promotion opportunities I don't care, I'm happy with my current position anyway and want to get even better at what I do so might as well stay with it.
"I don't care" has been the happiest mindset I could stumble upon. It leaves so much more space for actual important things that I do care about and that I do have the ability to directly impact.
This video arrived at the perfect time. I was just thinking about this topic last night
This is an amazing insight into an average's person mindset and thank you Dr K for providing it.
Now that I think of it, the only way to heal is to focus, at some point, on the average, normal, sane, healthy life.
A much needed video.
This video is definitely needed. And this is radical.
I'm an average person who doesn't know programming but would like to because that's gonna help me to get out of shitty jobs, therefore, I really would like to become an average software engineer.
Thanks Dr K! n.n
Programming is really creative if you get the hang for it
Or if you like people and get the basics..help desks pay and humans with social skills are always needed!
thank you very much for this video. I really needed to hear this
thank you for the video!
Really enjoyed this video. More for average people would be great! Congratulations for the channel, its amazing
I was struggling for a while and Dr. K helped me a lot. After watching this video I think I'm finding contentment in grinding rn :)
Thank you sooo much!!!!
you're amazing Dr K
this video really spoke to me.
This night be the most important video on the topic of mental health made this year.
Tbh I used to take risks and I was passionate I mean majority of my DT project failed because of my ambition but 20% did succeed and it was a amazing project that even got others teachers from different schools very interested and excited about it. But now I don’t have that anymore, towards the end of school and during uni I have always been punished for going beyond or doing something different, if it wasn’t on the marking rubric then you don’t get the marks or even sometimes you get deducted marks. It’s made me play safe and not do more which has actually worsened my education as the drive that was once there is no longer there.
Damn i feel smart watching this video. Some of the vids on this channel are introducing new things to the me and it's awesome, and then some of them are literally what I have already thought of and processed by myself, and it's just as awesome : D
Problems unfortunately arise when systems disregard the average. The job market is like that for a lot of industries. Always looking for the best of the best. There's poison in the water.
This is the episode that I never thought I wanted to see.
I feel somewhere in the middle of both things . I do need to focus on my passion and taking more risks in this regard. But I also feel that I don't want to be in 1% and find it hard that I don't want it for myself
What if I don't have passion though...Like I am risk adverse, but I can't think of a passion that I've shut down because it's "silly"
Do the thing love the most See if you can live of that. And coast on.
Haven't discovered the passion. There are plenty of activities in the world you've never even conceived of that you might love, usually in other cultures
Most people don't have passions but they find meaning in taking responsibility. Take responsibility for someone like take care of dog you'll learn a lot about yourself
Sometimes it's hard for me to distinguish between desires born from "external world pressures" and "genuine" desires. The line doesn't always feel very clear.
Like, I'll be on social media (I know, first mistake) and feel like I need to be "more" than I am... Like I should be producing something that validates my existence in the world instead of being unproductive in my downtime, but it's too exhausting. I'm not sure if I'm naturally coming to that conclusion or if my judgement is clouded by others I interact with.
Also, eerily relatable that he brought up a "web developer at a mid sized company that has a pretty decent life" as that is literally my life. I guess I really am average!
You might enjoy the book Wanting by Luke Burgis
I find that almost everyone are scared of being labelled as "average" or "mediocre", either by others or by their own selves. In my opinion, it's more helpful to completely eliminate those concepts and realize that people, as a whole (ie. not based on isolated specific metrics like age, height, weight, etc.), are complex beings that cannot be categorized by such labels.
At 2:42 I was dying when you shouted out accounting majors…I’m an accountant 💀
Californication's "Aggressive Mediocrity". Love it!
Awsome video, I've had this mental struggle for a while and this is exactly what I needed to hear.
I love you so much bubba, i want to help people who feel lost, as i have felt the same way for a long time. One day, I hope to do what you do, and maybe then we could have a conversation about the psyche 🙂 thank you for helping the people who need some guidance!
Really liked this one!
Im too broken for this video, I can’t get the basics down
Love Dr.K!
Thank you for this
So I have been stuck in this loop for years and they ambitious side of me has gotten me no where I feel because it creates to much of a spot light. I have this weird thing where I like to step in make my impression then step out and go back to doing my thing. The other thing is I’m trying to just barely brake average I want to make a couple hundred thousand a year doing the things I want to do that way I can buy some property and give all of my family a safe place to go but after that I would like to go full force into pursuing what I want to do. I grew up mostly normal then my life flipped upside down at 7 got introduced to the life style of drugs and gangs until I was about 11 then went into foster care saw multiple life styles one of which was the farm life (which is the one I enjoyed the most) then about 15 I came home to my mom and was steadily behind in high school. Spent years building up to being a maintenance supervisor and lost that because of developing a neurological disease, which left me where I am now Pershing a degree in business so that I can rebuild and try to achieve that life style again (with out taxing my body). Another side note I was undiagnosed with ADHD up until this last year as well.
after 13+ years of teaching myself not to want things because then you are never disappointed and pleased with what you get, i now i have no wants beyond that deem the basics a home a relationship and a job that pays for both (i have none if that is of comment) i now dont know how or what i want, i live on autopilot and when people ask what i want i literally can not think of anything which means i feel i stagnate and aimless. i have an okay job as a low level engineer that doesnt pay enough to live on my own where i am based, i just look for experiences like nights out and music events to make me feel like the meh is least giving me something. i dunno even why i am writing this really just sorta wanna get the thinking out my head and then forget bout it till it builds up again.
Great video! All I’ve ever wanted was a mediocre life. Success 🎉
What a cool topic! Average is my Life goal! Complete average, a garden and time for DIY stuff, saying hello to the neighbour granny and changing marmelade recipes 😂 best Life!!!!
Damn. This really spoke to me.
From a financial standpoint I think you have to strike a balance between living now and the future, but overall I like this idea of not thinking too much about what’s coming and focusing on the today