Sorry for the low energy video. I just sometimes need to get these things out, and I'm just so drained. I want people to see reality. I've always wanted to keep my videos extremely genuine with no editing.
I'm on 2 antipsychotics (diazepam and clozapine), and it makes me really tired and sleep for 14-15 hours a day. I also often have some weird, hard to explain mental pain which I have to keep at bay by using diazepam. Before this I had a long period of anhedonia, but luckily that's mostly gone
Maybe look for a walking buddy. Where I live there's a service which finds you people who are willing to come to your home and go on a walk with you. You seem to be wanting to feel connected to other people, and reaching out for help is nothing to be ashamed of
I’d definitely hang out with you if I weren’t some random guy on the internet on the other side of the planet. Hang in there man, I really hope things get better for you.
I'm diagnosed schizoaffective bipolar type, and have been mentally ill since a child. I found I struggled the most with symptoms during my 20s, but I am almost 50 now and things have calmed down a lot. I have come to terms with being solitary and struggling to do basic things, but am glad some aspects of my illness have gotten better. I wish you all the best.
Respect for that! Struggling but survived every day until now! That’s probably the best outcome that might happen…that things calm down a little over time. I couldn’t see myself in your age in the future, but it’s kind of calming to see that it is possible to make it this far…
You're the nicest guy. I'm not a doctor, but it sounds like the meds are not allowing you to feel revitalised after sleeping. Speak to your doctor about revising the dosage or something. Also, you deserve good friends and people who love you and can help you out of this.
I've been misdiagnosed with Schizophrenia which is even worse, my meds contributed to a diagnosis of pre diabetes and I had to have a cholecystectomy just three years after that too. I have no way of convincing my doctors that their wrong, unfortunately I've been medicated for the last ten years. With a diagnosis like Schizophrenia they comply you on medication permanently for life. Even though apparently 23.71% are apparently incorrectly diagnosed, they try to make you out to be this 1% rarity. From my experience due to being under a mis diagnosis, I've got negative beliefs about Psychiatrist's and Psychologist's 1) They only care for their financial greed 2) They exaggerate your symptoms 3) They undermine you and over speak you 4) They un admittedly lower your intelligence 5) They invalidate and ignore your feelings 6) They offer no compensation or apologies if things go wrong 7) They don't believe in any spirituality or religion because their progressive, liberal and too secular, so their not open to peoples differences
Jacob, you say you're so lonely, I really feel you would feel so much better if you could just meet some other people sometimes. There must be some groups where you could meet and talk to other schizophrenics, and feel the comfort of sharing problems with other people who understand where you're coming from. Maybe share ideas with you on how they deal with their problems, give you useful tips, but most of all you'll realise you are not alone, you are not the only one struggling with these difficulties, there are others, many others in the same plight as you, some are doing well, some not so well, but they are trying. The BIG problem with living on your own all the time is no-one can sort out their mind on their own, we need other people to share ideas with, share problems with, give advice to and receive advice from. It's natural. We are a social species. We need other people. You cannot survive on your own. Try to find a schizophrenia support group. I KNOW it will be good for you. Tim
A dear friend of mine has very similar symptoms of delusion, paranoia and hallucinations. I'm doing my best to help just by keeping in touch. I watch your videos to help me understand the issues you and they face, and they really do help. You have helped me a lot and I really appreciate it
I’ve occasionally checked in on your videos for years man. I will not say I feel your pain or share your exact experience but I have a mental illness that sent me on a dark, totally different path than I imagined for my life. It hurts me to hear this because I feel like you’re speaking for me, I thought the same thing as a kid “will this last forever?” If this our only chance to make a life out of what we are given, we have to at least try. I feel that biological clock ticking too, of course it’s depressing. I get some joy in the small things, the moments that we are granted to feel normal and exist like “normal people”. But it’s also a tough pill to swallow that we may never simply “beat it”, and be ready to take on life to its fullest. But I know I’m not alone at least
I understand certaint aspects of your struggles, like depression, can't do anything,nobody understands your/my condition, Sometimes I suffer from visual hallucinations, i always see flying insects appear out of nowhere moving in weird shapes that insects dont do then disappear and seconds later they come back again. this makes it impossible to focus even if i try to ignore it. its crippling.can't drive, cant write programs while this happens. I dont want anyone to pity me like i would be so poor. I want to be treated like a human being. Even though I have sometimes certaint symptoms of schizophrenic illnesses I'm very glad they don't appear that often. My main disease is Asperger Syndrome and depression. It has Pros and Cons. I'm good in Computer science and I learn things that I like very fast and keep them in my memory core. But I'm bad at everything else. I can't even talk to people especially females.
Don't give up brother. There is always hope. You just have to be patient. There is always science breakthrough . Maybe Tomorrow they discover a cure for this illness. Don't ever give up my brother.
Hey Jacob, I hope you feel better. Depression is no joke, I know what you mean when you say you need a lot of help in life, lacking support in life. It’s like people diagnosed with mental illness like schizophrenia suffers from a lack of motivation, I kinda I think it comes from medication side effects too the depression. As for sleeping with your lights on I do the same thing but I use a mood light to dim the lights out and it’s almost like having the lights off..
I suddenly remembered about you. I used to comment a lot with another account when you were posting videos about physics and such. You're great dude, keep going, stay strong
I've been struggling with mental illness my entire life as well. It is exhausting and life shattering. I don't have schizophrenia, I have OCD, anxiety and depression. It's amazing how much I relate to what you're saying in this video despite the difference in illness. I'm sorry things are so rough for you right now too. I don't know if it helps you, but please know that watching this has helped me in not feeling quite so alone. Thank you for being so open and I hope you are able to find some relief soon.
Hi Jacob,I sincerely hope you feel better! I am sorry you have to go threw this! I’ve learned a lot from your videos! One thing I know is your a really smart guy. You’ve done a lot to help others understand what you have. That in itself is a great deal. Your a very special person. Please remember that! Don’t stop doing videos !
I wish I could help you man. I’ve never suffered from schizophrenia so I can’t try and tell you what to do, but I have struggled with chronic depression (mixed with a feeling of absolute worthlessness). I slept most of the time and when I was awake I didn’t want to do anything (medication made it 10x worse and I hated myself for taking it). I cut myself off from friends and saw my family a handful of times each year, when I did I just couldn’t vibe or connect with them. I spent 20 years alone and defeated, no one ever deserves that feeling of isolation. But after all that time... with all the shit... things started changing. Slowly... but they started to change and things started to fall into place. Don’t ever give up hope mate, you are not alone! Things will get better ✌🏼
I’m so sorry your going threw this tough time! Depression is miserable. I can sympathize! Your such a special person! I admire what you do. I pray you feel better soon. Don’t apologize for letting off steam! Everyone has to do it sometime.
i've been subsribed since a few years and i'm happy to see you everytime you upload a new video. thanks for sharing your experience and i hope you feel better in the coming days, there are people who truly loves you.
Thank you for doing these videos, this is great for awareness and divulgation, for all kinds of people, especially people like me, who wants to be a mental health professional and looking into understanding all kinds of states that might affect my future patients. Sending you all the love. Greets from Colombia!
I also feel like everyone in the world wants to take advantage of me. Although I wouldn't call it a paranoid delusion, I think the term is "trust issues." It leads me to mostly be on my computer watching youtube, commenting, and hanging out with myself. But I'm alright, I don't need other people in that way. I mostly view people as a nuisance, and at best a pleasant distraction. The meds really tank your energy. Dopamine is said to be responsible for motivation, so I have no idea why they give these meds to us then when complain about being lazy and apathetic they say it's negative symptoms. Is what it is, I'm mostly able to function with the meds, I even got to the point where I view them as helpful. That's really where I would start, if I were you. Figuring out a way to process and deal with the apathetic, lazy draining effects of the medication, and channel it into rational mindedness. The way the medications are supposed to function. Usually it would be worth it to consider moving to a different medication, but in your situation you probably been down that road one too many times. That' really the main advice I have for you right now, but there's a tonne of different things you can do to help out your situation. There is really no right answer, in the end. It is what we make of it. Or as they say in self help, "what you put into it is what you get out." Good luck, a lot of us a really rooting for you as well!
I am so sorry you are and have been going through all of this it aint easy by no means you are so freaking strong man having gone through and still going through what you do,you are so strong man i pray you get the healing you desire because if anybody deserves it well bud you do, stay strong bro you got this
My God, Jacob, you are suffering. You are a very good man for sharing and sticking with this. You are a doer. Everyone needs social interactions, a community, good quality sleep, and a bit of outdoor activity to remain sane. Psychiatrists of the world listen up. This is how to help people. Listen to Jacob. Help them mix, get out, and find friends. They need a buddy system, too, and a tiny flexible job that they enjoy and can tolerate and meet friends at. Take it slowly but take it. Psychiatrists of the world teach others also to understand schizophrenia and how to be friends with someone suffering. It could be you or yours suffering someday. Jacob, thank you for sharing what so many are suffering. It makes a difference. You make a difference. Did you ever get your vitamin, blood, diet, and gut bacteria status checked? Get the full work up. Zinc, copper, CRP, hormones, etc.. Fixing these won't cure you, but making subtle changes to diet, etc, where possible, can make you feel a whole lot better. Maybe even less tired? I assume u take your medication regularly and that your psychiatrist is a good one who reviews things regularly. This is obviously important. I know you won't want advice from know it alls like me, but here I go... Perhaps try sitting out on your porch every day, do your reading, writing, etc.. outdoors, and/ or go to a café with your computer to write or do podcasts. Try it? Ask permission first, of course😅. Say, Hi, occasionally to people along the way (as appropriate). Eventually, you will meet people. Take a daily walk to the local store and back . Listen to music or a podcast as you go. If a buddy system existed, you could go with a buddy. Maybe there are volunteers in your neighbourhood? You are an interesting, good-looking guy. You would be good company (most of the time). I understand that in schizophrenia your senses are extra sensitive, and if you are overwhelmed by too much sensory input, everything else can go haywire. When things go haywire through sensory or other ( poor diet) overload, the brain makes things up in order to carry on ( my theory). So wear sunglasses and ear plugs as necessary on your trips out. See if it helps. A weighted blanket can help too at night. Our thoughts and prayers are with you, Jacob. The world is a better place with you in it, though you may not realise it at the moment. You are highlighting a plight that many have and which is not being dealt with satisfactorily. I hope Joe Biden and other presidential candidates see your blog and will make mental health a priority. Anyone who knows anyone with connections pass on Jacob's blog details. I hope these comments help. Sorry for being a know it all ❤.
Jacob, you are much better than in that video from the last 2 weeks i hope? I've listened carefully your voice, and the way how you speak. Its really dificult for you and i can see that. I feel sorry that you believe that no one wants to help you. People and your doctors should at least care and if its not enough, you can go and find another providers or psychiatrist. You have to start from somewhere. Just wanted to reasure you that there is hope. Maybe i sound a lot like the people who you say are not helpful? However i thank you for your video and i wish you to become successful young person, whatever successful means for you. Thank you for having me as a friend on Instagram, it meant a lot actually and still is.
Hang on in there dude, I went through similar things myself when I first came out of hospital and honestly things aren't amazing now either but yeah don't give up the fight, just don't give up hope and try some activities to take your mind off of your stress and maybe try to see it from a different angle? Sometimes in life we think it as it is and other times it is as we think it, or rather the reality or worldview we inhabit is how we think it is, ie is the cup half full or half empty is sometimes down to us, even when the chips are down, and struggle and toil can build good character if you work at it.I mean yeah life is shit sometimes but you're not the worst case of psychosis I've ever seen, you seem like you can kinda keep it together, maybe you'd benefit joining a club or something? Sorry don't mean to make light of your struggles, I can see its not easy for you but just saying, you might be able to capitalise on your mental state by going and doing something that doesn't consist in sitting in your room? I know it's easier said than done but we all got to start somewhere when we fall down into a hole in life, only we can get ourselves out of it although good friends do help admittedly, if we could only be a friend to ourselves then that's half the battle won already...
For years, since I was a goddamn teenager, I've constantly related to you, time and time again. I'm currently struggling alot too and it feels every time I reach this place I'm more hopeless and disappointed then the last. The distance between me and the friends I used to know grows, I've spent the past few years basically in my tiny flat alone apart from my partner comes home. It feels like I've been doing nothing but surviving, trying to heal and keeping distracted like it seamingly has been the case all my life. Meds arent working, therapy is failing. I'm growing more and more distrusting and detached from my partner for feelings he can never understand. My family are a constant stress in my life, and they visit just once a year. I'd often rather just continue being alone. Im too anxious to reach out to anyone, too afraid to go out, hallucinations snowballing. Im so tired. I dont have any energy left to keep trying to get better. I kind of just want to rot away. I struggle to picture my future now. The chance i will ever work gets less and less. All my dreams are becoming futile because I will always be back here in this place. Im sorry for the depressing rant, I really dispise talking about myself on a update video about yourself, Its selfish and I would delete it all but I only wanted to say how badly I want for your happiness in life. If circumstances were different, I'd of loved to hang out with you. At the least, if we get a bit better I'll try to join calls on the discord and speak to you there. You always seem to get through the difficult times somehow, I truely hope you have a breakthrough and can live life more. It'd be nice if we both get there oneday and I can see these same updates but of all the better times you are having. :) If you ever need anything throw me a message :)
Hello Jacob, I’m also dealing with schizophrenia and it’s not easy at all so I understand how you feel. I don’t know which medication you take and the diagnosis but I hope things get better for you. ❤I send you love, healing and peace. God bless you🙏🏾🫶🏾
Oh brother, you're a hero, you're facing all this Schizophrenia is interesting to me, it seems uncomfortable and it steals your focus and attention But I'm impressed by your courage!
Hi Jacob! I get you with the meds I have mild Schizophrenia and I'm thinking of only using antipsychotics a few times a week with CBD since I recalled using only CBD back in 2020 without antipsychotics and it worked for 6 months on me. I wish the best for you Jacob! Hang in there I'm hanging on as well.
You are battling yourself , and your brain has you exhausted that is for sure but push through . Go on a hike . If we were in the same state I’d definitely hike w ya!
As a long time friend it’s nothing but love G never been out to get you, hope all is well man,miss you man hope you figure all this out we’ll kick it again one day
Hi Jacob. I don't know you but I can empathise with you to the extent I have also experienced some psychotic episodes and my grandfather was diagnosed schizophrenic. You seem to me like a very nice young man who is very self-aware and trying his best but that you need more help. I wish I could help you in some way but all I can offer is these kind words and a virtual hug.
I just feel for you and others on this thread. I do understand, somewhat. I can't imagine the challenge. I only understand bc my son sounds much like you in how he feels and the anxiety he faces. He's very severe and is on like 400mg Quetiapine and 2.5 Haloperidol (and sometimes Ativan for the anxiety). I have had a lot of intrusive thoughts in life, depression, etc. so I get some of it. And now, bc of my age, I sometimes experience anxiety. I spend A LOT of time talking with my son, trying to help him think differently. Let me just say, if one can get free so than two, or three, etc. There have been some who have "walked themselves" out of this, some healed, some simply a change in diet. I know you don't really believe in God (I think you've mentioned that) but many say that helps some. CBT has also been known to help but I know it's tough for you to believe it, trust people, etc. Praying for you to have some relief. [Also, check your Vitamin D levels. My son's was very low and was much better after it got above 34].
I feel the exact same way i mean exactly.we could be brothers i deal with the same damn thing you're not alone you're not the only one going through this.i love you hang in there be tough
you aren’t alone. My depression medication helps a little but not enough to make me actually functional, i still want to sleep all the time even with my ADHD meds (sometimes they just make me tired.) this is embarrassing but I actually bought yellow converse sneakers this week because i thought maybe if I wear yellow happy shoes it will make me a yellow happy person. like maybe if my feet are happy it will trick my brain. I am desperate to feel good lol. it sucks to feel like you’re searching for pathetic solutions when you have the medication that was supposed to be the solution.
💛🔆🌻💛🔆🌻💛🧸Forgive my ignorance on your illness. I honestly know it helps to connect in the Here &Now, but also in the “ether” with those gone before. Who want Good for You!!! I pray you will open to new ideas and dare yourself to ACT UPON YOUR DESIRE TO CONNECT!♥️ you Must ask for assistance ♥️if you were blind you wouldn’t expect to drive yourself anywhere…you can’t do this alone♥️the Lord bless you…and keep you. The Lord lift His countenance…upon you and Give you peace. The Lord make His face to Shine Upon You and Be Gracious Unto You…Amen and Amen♥️♥️♥️
I and we are with you... Don't worry... We know what you are going throw... All training.. God knows what is komming.... Think Training....!!! For the Tim's to Komme...! Don't worry... Every thing will be alright...! God will ondly train you...
I only experienced hearing voices (usually when I was about to fall sleep) for a short period of time. The feeling of hot breath in my ears when the voices would say: "Hey!" "Hahahahahaha." *disembodied nonsensical whispers* The goal? Maybe to scare me enough to stop me from sleeping? 🤔 I had to sleep with the most used ear muffled by a pillow to even relax enough to sleep. Recently, I see things in my vision (usually corners of my eyes) like past? cats, shadow forms, movement/people that are not really there. I am like ???, I swear I saw someone pass by the window. Sometimes even my brain goes blank. *Like autopilot* That I dont even realize until we get back home. When me and my mom go out to buy things, I don't even register that she bought anything else. When we get home I am surprised! that we got more than I thought. It spooks me. Now the paranoia, oh Lord that is a hellish feeling. Woke up from multiple dreams, paranoid about reality. Distrusting of all outside my room except my cat, ready to kill whoever tried to get to me like in my dream, my whole body on a restless edge. The longest one I had was 30 minutes after the dream, of pure paranoia. Hyper aware of every creak, every door opening and closing, them talking. I was formulating escape plans through my window, if I should use the couch cushions to block their attacks, where the weapons were in the house. After getting out of it, the week that followed I doubted the intentions of the very people I cared about so much. Gone through a mere drop in an ocean of what you are going through. 😿 Makes me wish I could take all of the pain of the people of world on myself. If it meant for everyone to be happy. Now, the only thing stronger than the brain is the soul. The brain or whatever it is, is trying to break your spirit. It sees your soul as a threat, that is preventing it from getting what it wants. It uses fear to make you submit and wear you down. I to my knowledge can never see the world completely through your eyes. But, I will just relay what I did to my little pesky demons. For context this was when I was on the cusp of dominating my depression. 0. The hole in my soul caused by my depression, was filled when I was crying at night again. ( *Bastille flaws plays* ) Maybe the despair, lowest of the low points, or inner desire to fill this hole, evoked this good energy to come and fill the void. With warmth, peace, and light. (It's been some years, so I may have forgotten important details) 1. When I felt my spirit/soul get tired of a particularly long battle. I internally with my soul, cried for help that I couldn't fight anymore. To, Please to give me energy to continue the battle. As the enemies got closer and closer. I was given so much, I felt like I could fight for all eternity if need be. 2. My Paranoid moments, (helped by the fact my door was locked and I felt slightly safer)and my cat's presence grounded me to a point of reality. Her sleeping form, in such a vulnerable position still sleeps soundly. That my brain calmed down bit by bit, that there was no danger here if the cat was not panicking. 3. The voices, I think the main reason after trying to block them out and them still being there. I was getting mad at them slowly but surely, even though the voices would make the goosebumps rise, startle me, even kept me awake for the whole night sometimes several nights in a row etc... I took my frustrations out on them. (This is fricking weird I know but I did this, so if you do this too. 😅 Guess we are both weirdos) I snarled at them (I could feel their presences not see them), yes odd but I was lowkey running out of options. Everytime they stopped me from sleeping, I responded with a snarl and snapping at them. Following their presences with my eyes. My room sometimes would feel like it would be filled with multiple to even hundreds. - Now they did not like it one bit, that I was starting to shed my fear of disembodied voices. They intensified in response, I persevered until their attempts to yell in my ears only earned them more fury from me to them to leave me alone. (Since demons run on fear, I just started purging myself absolutely of fear of them) Sure they could get me off guard at times, but over time I repeated the phrases they said in my head to intentionally desensitize myself to the future attempts. Make it so repeated and boring. (I even challened the voices I heard; that is that all you can say? C'mon a parrot can do better than that) To laugh at their attempts, and it made it easier to turn them into background noise. To hopefullt ignore them a lot more effectively.(Hate the fact the moment theres any semblance of words or spoken language anywhere the brain immediately dials in even if imaginary) 😤 4. The things I see but are not really there, They have been occurring on and off sporadically. Recently, they are just a smidge more noticeable. For me it's a lot less scary, if I see something pass by that wasnt really there. I go to verify if it's real, then if its not shame my brain. I even try to scare it back, by giving a bunch of hypotheticals of if a real axe murderer, or killer chases me and if my brain will make them look like they are going to give me a hug, flowers, etc... When they will REALLY kill me. The brain still fundamentally wants to keep you alive, even though the voices may say otherwise. If it did want to kill you, surely it would just stop your heart itself??? 🤔 Big brain moment? 🙀 Will anything that I have written work or even help? I dunno. 🤷♀️ I do not know if it even can work with those officially diagnosed with something such as this. But, after hearing what you said I couldn't just leave without typing what I went through and did. 🤗❤️ May it give you some comfort in knowing at least there is a weirdo out there somewhere in the world who snarls at what looks like nothing. 😌😅
Have you tried risperidone or the invega sustenna just asking that what I've been on and they work for me no zombieness or anything and gets rid of all the symptoms and allow me to function
I recently wrote this of my experience. Perhaps it might help you, worth a try anyway 💚 The Light that broke the chains ‘Chains of mental illness’ ‘Chains of restraint’ ‘Chains to hold you safe’ Physical Chains The experience I had that broke these chains I will endeavour to describe below. Before I had this experience my mental illness could be described as chains that bound me and confined me within from when I first fell ill. The chains of restraint as part of my healing journey in my case involved medication and the side effects that went along with that and living a lifestyle that benefited the illness in order to cope with it. The final chains to hold me safe before freedom and the light came in was in continuing to take and change medications that helped and lots of sleep to nourish the brain but without having a hope of more. A hope of more beyond the body and something to hold on to when times are difficult. The chains hold you safe but means you have to drag them around with you without having freedom from the weight of them. Spiritual Freedom I can best describe it like the sun shining through the stained glass windows in a church filling it with beautiful coloured light as the Holy Spirit filling me and then bursting out of me like pure white shards of crystal glass breaking the chains of mental illness that had originally wrapped themselves around me so many years ago. I have been on a journey with my illness and although I still take medication and have as healthy a lifestyle as possible trying to do all ‘the right things’ I am only now truly free of the spiritual, emotional burden of psychosis. I feel a lot lighter now only having to deal with the physical aspect and I know that if I keep looking to the light and am filled all will be well. I became a Christian 5 years ago after an experience with the Holy Spirit and my walk with the Lord has sustained me. The spiritual sustenance that I had so lacked broke my chains and the light found a way in. ‘Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest’. Matthew 11:28
This is like a nightmare. Yeah bro, because you never felt chill. You never actually was just ''being'', something was and is in your mind the whole damn time. That's me actually, but i have some technical thinking problem, being called ''psychosis''. But i feel like i can allter my coinsciousness whenever i want to where i am and what i am. Bro i got so many questions. And i feel like i'm loosing my mind. That's me in like 10 years, probably being able to chill like person having no second thoghts on every day life 👍
Jacob. Please dont let this scare you, these things wont be able to hurt you. If i know about something, i feel i have to tell you about it, and hoping it will help and not the opposite. Have you checked out Jerry Marzinsky? He worked with schizo patience for over 35+ years, he knows it's not hallucinations, and I also know It's not. This all began after i started recording EVP (electronic voice phenomena) i started getting class A voices and i started talking to them and got responses on the recordings. Then after a while they came into my life and i hear them with my naked ears. It has been hell for 3 years now 24/7 even when i wake up i hear them this is what they do it's about to make you kill yourself or get killed by medication. But I'm in a day and night different place now, much better, in the beginning it scared me to almost death, they do this thing they always lie, and they always threatening you that they will kill you, but it's all a lie. These are real entities doing this. CZcams Jerry and listen to his podcast interviews, it will help tremendously. There are ways out of this, and medication will not help! It fucks you up in the long run, please listen to me and take my advice. I have so much stuff that will help you out.
You need something to focus your attention on, outside of yourself. It’s BECAUSE you are not focused on things externally, that you are depressed. Make yourself a project. Set yourself some goals, and archive them. You are too focused on yourself, instead of external things. You need to end all of this self-pity, and self-regard, and see HOW you can help OTHER PEOPLE!! If you stop all of whining and get off your ass and do things in the world. You will not have any time to be depressed. You can start by going to a Gym, getting outside in the Sun, and meeting people. Buy yourself a Bicycle and ride 3 miles a day. Do all and any of these things, and you will stop being depressed. Physical exercise is the best cure for depression. It increases your heart rate. It increased your metabolism. It cleared the mind.
Sorry for the low energy video. I just sometimes need to get these things out, and I'm just so drained. I want people to see reality. I've always wanted to keep my videos extremely genuine with no editing.
Yo man i was watching your vids yesterday and i was wondering when u would post another vid to catch up ,glad to see u bro!
I'm on 2 antipsychotics (diazepam and clozapine), and it makes me really tired and sleep for 14-15 hours a day. I also often have some weird, hard to explain mental pain which I have to keep at bay by using diazepam. Before this I had a long period of anhedonia, but luckily that's mostly gone
Maybe look for a walking buddy. Where I live there's a service which finds you people who are willing to come to your home and go on a walk with you. You seem to be wanting to feel connected to other people, and reaching out for help is nothing to be ashamed of
@@joost2501 Isn't diazepam a benzo?
@@joost2501 good advice!
I’d definitely hang out with you if I weren’t some random guy on the internet on the other side of the planet. Hang in there man, I really hope things get better for you.
I'm diagnosed schizoaffective bipolar type, and have been mentally ill since a child. I found I struggled the most with symptoms during my 20s, but I am almost 50 now and things have calmed down a lot. I have come to terms with being solitary and struggling to do basic things, but am glad some aspects of my illness have gotten better. I wish you all the best.
Respect for that! Struggling but survived every day until now! That’s probably the best outcome that might happen…that things calm down a little over time. I couldn’t see myself in your age in the future, but it’s kind of calming to see that it is possible to make it this far…
I hear you Jacob. Please keep speaking to us on here. We love to hear from you. I know the tiredness along with everything else is really difficult 💚
You're the nicest guy. I'm not a doctor, but it sounds like the meds are not allowing you to feel revitalised after sleeping. Speak to your doctor about revising the dosage or something. Also, you deserve good friends and people who love you and can help you out of this.
I've been misdiagnosed with Schizophrenia which is even worse, my meds contributed to a diagnosis of pre diabetes and I had to have a cholecystectomy just three years after that too. I have no way of convincing my doctors that their wrong, unfortunately I've been medicated for the last ten years. With a diagnosis like Schizophrenia they comply you on medication permanently for life. Even though apparently 23.71% are apparently incorrectly diagnosed, they try to make you out to be this 1% rarity.
From my experience due to being under a mis diagnosis, I've got negative beliefs about Psychiatrist's and Psychologist's
1) They only care for their financial greed
2) They exaggerate your symptoms
3) They undermine you and over speak you
4) They un admittedly lower your intelligence
5) They invalidate and ignore your feelings
6) They offer no compensation or apologies if things go wrong
7) They don't believe in any spirituality or religion because their progressive, liberal and too secular, so their not open to peoples differences
Hey Jacob I totally feel for you. The depression never goes away. The lack of motivation, the anhedonia, it never ends....
I’m sorry you’re feeling bad. I have bipolar and I’m depressed so much, I know how hard it is.
Hey you're that person uploading Elliott Smith stuff, I instantly recognized the username. Yeah, depression is never gonna end
@@olivierdube8110 lol yeah that’s me, hope you’re an Elliott fan 🌸
@@mymayapapaya f'course, I live for that stuff, amongst other things.
Jacob, you say you're so lonely, I really feel you would feel so much better if you could just meet some other people sometimes. There must be some groups where you could meet and talk to other schizophrenics, and feel the comfort of sharing problems with other people who understand where you're coming from. Maybe share ideas with you on how they deal with their problems, give you useful tips, but most of all you'll realise you are not alone, you are not the only one struggling with these difficulties, there are others, many others in the same plight as you, some are doing well, some not so well, but they are trying. The BIG problem with living on your own all the time is no-one can sort out their mind on their own, we need other people to share ideas with, share problems with, give advice to and receive advice from. It's natural. We are a social species. We need other people. You cannot survive on your own. Try to find a schizophrenia support group. I KNOW it will be good for you. Tim
A dear friend of mine has very similar symptoms of delusion, paranoia and hallucinations. I'm doing my best to help just by keeping in touch. I watch your videos to help me understand the issues you and they face, and they really do help. You have helped me a lot and I really appreciate it
I’ve occasionally checked in on your videos for years man. I will not say I feel your pain or share your exact experience but I have a mental illness that sent me on a dark, totally different path than I imagined for my life. It hurts me to hear this because I feel like you’re speaking for me, I thought the same thing as a kid “will this last forever?” If this our only chance to make a life out of what we are given, we have to at least try. I feel that biological clock ticking too, of course it’s depressing. I get some joy in the small things, the moments that we are granted to feel normal and exist like “normal people”. But it’s also a tough pill to swallow that we may never simply “beat it”, and be ready to take on life to its fullest. But I know I’m not alone at least
I understand certaint aspects of your struggles, like depression, can't do anything,nobody understands your/my condition, Sometimes I suffer from visual hallucinations, i always see flying insects appear out of nowhere moving in weird shapes that insects dont do then disappear and seconds later they come back again. this makes it impossible to focus even if i try to ignore it. its crippling.can't drive, cant write programs while this happens.
I dont want anyone to pity me like i would be so poor. I want to be treated like a human being. Even though I have sometimes certaint symptoms of schizophrenic illnesses I'm very glad they don't appear that often. My main disease is Asperger Syndrome and depression. It has Pros and Cons. I'm good in Computer science and I learn things that I like very fast and keep them in my memory core. But I'm bad at everything else. I can't even talk to people especially females.
Don't give up brother. There is always hope. You just have to be patient. There is always science breakthrough . Maybe Tomorrow they discover a cure for this illness. Don't ever give up my brother.
Hey Jacob, I hope you feel better. Depression is no joke, I know what you mean when you say you need a lot of help in life, lacking support in life. It’s like people diagnosed with mental illness like schizophrenia suffers from a lack of motivation, I kinda I think it comes from medication side effects too the depression. As for sleeping with your lights on I do the same thing but I use a mood light to dim the lights out and it’s almost like having the lights off..
I suddenly remembered about you. I used to comment a lot with another account when you were posting videos about physics and such. You're great dude, keep going, stay strong
I've been struggling with mental illness my entire life as well. It is exhausting and life shattering. I don't have schizophrenia, I have OCD, anxiety and depression. It's amazing how much I relate to what you're saying in this video despite the difference in illness. I'm sorry things are so rough for you right now too. I don't know if it helps you, but please know that watching this has helped me in not feeling quite so alone. Thank you for being so open and I hope you are able to find some relief soon.
Hi Jacob,I sincerely hope you feel better! I am sorry you have to go threw this! I’ve learned a lot from your videos! One thing I know is your a really smart guy. You’ve done a lot to help others understand what you have. That in itself is a great deal. Your a very special person. Please remember that! Don’t stop doing videos !
It's okay love. Thanks for the video. Always love hearing from you
I wish I could help you man. I’ve never suffered from schizophrenia so I can’t try and tell you what to do, but I have struggled with chronic depression (mixed with a feeling of absolute worthlessness). I slept most of the time and when I was awake I didn’t want to do anything (medication made it 10x worse and I hated myself for taking it). I cut myself off from friends and saw my family a handful of times each year, when I did I just couldn’t vibe or connect with them. I spent 20 years alone and defeated, no one ever deserves that feeling of isolation. But after all that time... with all the shit... things started changing. Slowly... but they started to change and things started to fall into place. Don’t ever give up hope mate, you are not alone! Things will get better ✌🏼
Pray to Jesus. I was diagnosed with schizophrenia and praying to Jesus helps me.
I’m so sorry your going threw this tough time! Depression is miserable. I can sympathize! Your such a special person! I admire what you do. I pray you feel better soon. Don’t apologize for letting off steam! Everyone has to do it sometime.
I’m sorry you are going through this 😢 nobody deserves to feel this way. I hope you are able to overcome this someday 🤞🏻
i've been subsribed since a few years and i'm happy to see you everytime you upload a new video. thanks for sharing your experience and i hope you feel better in the coming days, there are people who truly loves you.
Thank you for doing these videos, this is great for awareness and divulgation, for all kinds of people, especially people like me, who wants to be a mental health professional and looking into understanding all kinds of states that might affect my future patients. Sending you all the love. Greets from Colombia!
I also feel like everyone in the world wants to take advantage of me. Although I wouldn't call it a paranoid delusion, I think the term is "trust issues." It leads me to mostly be on my computer watching youtube, commenting, and hanging out with myself. But I'm alright, I don't need other people in that way. I mostly view people as a nuisance, and at best a pleasant distraction.
The meds really tank your energy. Dopamine is said to be responsible for motivation, so I have no idea why they give these meds to us then when complain about being lazy and apathetic they say it's negative symptoms. Is what it is, I'm mostly able to function with the meds, I even got to the point where I view them as helpful.
That's really where I would start, if I were you. Figuring out a way to process and deal with the apathetic, lazy draining effects of the medication, and channel it into rational mindedness. The way the medications are supposed to function. Usually it would be worth it to consider moving to a different medication, but in your situation you probably been down that road one too many times.
That' really the main advice I have for you right now, but there's a tonne of different things you can do to help out your situation. There is really no right answer, in the end. It is what we make of it. Or as they say in self help, "what you put into it is what you get out." Good luck, a lot of us a really rooting for you as well!
I've been watching you for years and you seem like such a sweet person. I hope things get better for you. Sending you love
I am so sorry you are and have been going through all of this it aint easy by no means you are so freaking strong man having gone through and still going through what you do,you are so strong man i pray you get the healing you desire because if anybody deserves it well bud you do, stay strong bro you got this
My God, Jacob, you are suffering.
You are a very good man for sharing and sticking with this. You are a doer.
Everyone needs social interactions, a community, good quality sleep, and a bit of outdoor activity to remain sane.
Psychiatrists of the world listen up. This is how to help people. Listen to Jacob. Help them mix, get out, and find friends. They need a buddy system, too, and a tiny flexible job that they enjoy and can tolerate and meet friends at. Take it slowly but take it.
Psychiatrists of the world teach others also to understand schizophrenia and how to be friends with someone suffering. It could be you or yours suffering someday.
Jacob, thank you for sharing what so many are suffering. It makes a difference. You make a difference.
Did you ever get your vitamin, blood, diet, and gut bacteria status checked? Get the full work up. Zinc, copper, CRP, hormones, etc..
Fixing these won't cure you, but making subtle changes to diet, etc, where possible, can make you feel a whole lot better. Maybe even less tired?
I assume u take your medication regularly and that your psychiatrist is a good one who reviews things regularly. This is obviously important.
I know you won't want advice from know it alls like me, but here I go...
Perhaps try sitting out on your porch every day, do your reading, writing, etc.. outdoors, and/ or go to a café with your computer to write or do podcasts. Try it? Ask permission first, of course😅.
Say, Hi, occasionally to people along the way (as appropriate).
Eventually, you will meet people.
Take a daily walk to the local store and back . Listen to music or a podcast as you go. If a buddy system existed, you could go with a buddy. Maybe there are volunteers in your neighbourhood? You are an interesting, good-looking guy. You would be good company (most of the time).
I understand that in schizophrenia your senses are extra sensitive, and if you are overwhelmed by too much sensory input, everything else can go haywire. When things go haywire through sensory or other ( poor diet) overload, the brain makes things up in order to carry on ( my theory). So wear sunglasses and ear plugs as necessary on your trips out. See if it helps. A weighted blanket can help too at night.
Our thoughts and prayers are with you, Jacob. The world is a better place with you in it, though you may not realise it at the moment. You are highlighting a plight that many have and which is not being dealt with satisfactorily. I hope Joe Biden and other presidential candidates see your blog and will make mental health a priority. Anyone who knows anyone with connections pass on Jacob's blog details.
I hope these comments help. Sorry for being a know it all ❤.
I'm schizophrenic too it's rough remember your not alone jacob😊
You're amazing dude. We appreciate your honesty. Hang in there.
I'm schizophrenic too it's rough remember your not alone jacob
Jacob, you are much better than in that video from the last 2 weeks i hope? I've listened carefully your voice, and the way how you speak. Its really dificult for you and i can see that. I feel sorry that you believe that no one wants to help you. People and your doctors should at least care and if its not enough, you can go and find another providers or psychiatrist. You have to start from somewhere. Just wanted to reasure you that there is hope. Maybe i sound a lot like the people who you say are not helpful? However i thank you for your video and i wish you to become successful young person, whatever successful means for you. Thank you for having me as a friend on Instagram, it meant a lot actually and still is.
Jacob my sweet young man that I’ve been following forever!!!
This must be very difficult to live with . Im sorry you have to go thru this . Hope things get better for you bro
🤍 Thanks for the honesty and sharing. Keep your head up bro :)
Sending u love. I hope things get better for you. Dont give up.
Sending all the love and light❤
Hang on in there dude, I went through similar things myself when I first came out of hospital and honestly things aren't amazing now either but yeah don't give up the fight, just don't give up hope and try some activities to take your mind off of your stress and maybe try to see it from a different angle? Sometimes in life we think it as it is and other times it is as we think it, or rather the reality or worldview we inhabit is how we think it is, ie is the cup half full or half empty is sometimes down to us, even when the chips are down, and struggle and toil can build good character if you work at it.I mean yeah life is shit sometimes but you're not the worst case of psychosis I've ever seen, you seem like you can kinda keep it together, maybe you'd benefit joining a club or something? Sorry don't mean to make light of your struggles, I can see its not easy for you but just saying, you might be able to capitalise on your mental state by going and doing something that doesn't consist in sitting in your room? I know it's easier said than done but we all got to start somewhere when we fall down into a hole in life, only we can get ourselves out of it although good friends do help admittedly, if we could only be a friend to ourselves then that's half the battle won already...
For years, since I was a goddamn teenager, I've constantly related to you, time and time again. I'm currently struggling alot too and it feels every time I reach this place I'm more hopeless and disappointed then the last. The distance between me and the friends I used to know grows, I've spent the past few years basically in my tiny flat alone apart from my partner comes home. It feels like I've been doing nothing but surviving, trying to heal and keeping distracted like it seamingly has been the case all my life. Meds arent working, therapy is failing. I'm growing more and more distrusting and detached from my partner for feelings he can never understand. My family are a constant stress in my life, and they visit just once a year. I'd often rather just continue being alone. Im too anxious to reach out to anyone, too afraid to go out, hallucinations snowballing. Im so tired. I dont have any energy left to keep trying to get better. I kind of just want to rot away. I struggle to picture my future now. The chance i will ever work gets less and less. All my dreams are becoming futile because I will always be back here in this place. Im sorry for the depressing rant, I really dispise talking about myself on a update video about yourself, Its selfish and I would delete it all but I only wanted to say how badly I want for your happiness in life. If circumstances were different, I'd of loved to hang out with you. At the least, if we get a bit better I'll try to join calls on the discord and speak to you there. You always seem to get through the difficult times somehow, I truely hope you have a breakthrough and can live life more. It'd be nice if we both get there oneday and I can see these same updates but of all the better times you are having. :) If you ever need anything throw me a message :)
I hope you get the light, support and energy that you like 💥🙌❤️
I hope you feel better soon Jacob 😊
I feel like u a lot!!!! All ur feelings are pretty much relateable. I grew up with ur exact feelings
I feel you. The " exhaustion " you're talking about ..... it is soooooooo frigging annoying and debilitating. 😭😭😭
I’m so sorry for ur fatigue. I live u so much like a son.
Hello Jacob, I’m also dealing with schizophrenia and it’s not easy at all so I understand how you feel. I don’t know which medication you take and the diagnosis but I hope things get better for you. ❤I send you love, healing and peace. God bless you🙏🏾🫶🏾
Oh brother, you're a hero, you're facing all this
Schizophrenia is interesting to me, it seems uncomfortable and it steals your focus and attention
But I'm impressed by your courage!
Hi Jacob! I get you with the meds I have mild Schizophrenia and I'm thinking of only using antipsychotics a few times a week with CBD since I recalled using only CBD back in 2020 without antipsychotics and it worked for 6 months on me. I wish the best for you Jacob! Hang in there I'm hanging on as well.
You are battling yourself , and your brain has you exhausted that is for sure but push through . Go on a hike . If we were in the same state I’d definitely hike w ya!
My heart goes out for you truly
Sometimes I find myself so exhausted I can't get out of bed
As a long time friend it’s nothing but love G never been out to get you, hope all is well man,miss you man hope you figure all this out we’ll kick it again one day
Stay tough bother! Dont pay attention to those clowns walking on your walls!
Hi Jacob. I don't know you but I can empathise with you to the extent I have also experienced some psychotic episodes and my grandfather was diagnosed schizophrenic. You seem to me like a very nice young man who is very self-aware and trying his best but that you need more help. I wish I could help you in some way but all I can offer is these kind words and a virtual hug.
You have our support.
I was thinking about you and wanted to drop in to let you know and say I hope you're doing good. ❤
Thank you for sharing👋
I just feel for you and others on this thread. I do understand, somewhat. I can't imagine the challenge. I only understand bc my son sounds much like you in how he feels and the anxiety he faces. He's very severe and is on like 400mg Quetiapine and 2.5 Haloperidol (and sometimes Ativan for the anxiety). I have had a lot of intrusive thoughts in life, depression, etc. so I get some of it. And now, bc of my age, I sometimes experience anxiety. I spend A LOT of time talking with my son, trying to help him think differently. Let me just say, if one can get free so than two, or three, etc. There have been some who have "walked themselves" out of this, some healed, some simply a change in diet. I know you don't really believe in God (I think you've mentioned that) but many say that helps some. CBT has also been known to help but I know it's tough for you to believe it, trust people, etc. Praying for you to have some relief. [Also, check your Vitamin D levels. My son's was very low and was much better after it got above 34].
I feel the exact same way i mean exactly.we could be brothers i deal with the same damn thing you're not alone you're not the only one going through this.i love you hang in there be tough
Maybe you should do your twitch streaming again. I feel like it's something that made you happy. I also liked to watch it occasionally
We are all going crazy us men are always alone
I am so sorry
thank you jacob 😘
Stay strong bud
God help him in Jesus name. I have also scitzofrenia. Faith gives me hope.
I always enjoy your videos.
I sometimes still talk to you on Snap Chat.
you aren’t alone. My depression medication helps a little but not enough to make me actually functional, i still want to sleep all the time even with my ADHD meds (sometimes they just make me tired.) this is embarrassing but I actually bought yellow converse sneakers this week because i thought maybe if I wear yellow happy shoes it will make me a yellow happy person. like maybe if my feet are happy it will trick my brain. I am desperate to feel good lol. it sucks to feel like you’re searching for pathetic solutions when you have the medication that was supposed to be the solution.
💛🔆🌻💛🔆🌻💛🧸Forgive my ignorance on your illness. I honestly know it helps to connect in the Here &Now, but also in the “ether” with those gone before. Who want Good for You!!! I pray you will open to new ideas and dare yourself to ACT UPON YOUR DESIRE TO CONNECT!♥️ you Must ask for assistance
♥️if you were blind you wouldn’t expect to drive yourself anywhere…you can’t do this alone♥️the Lord bless you…and keep you. The Lord lift His countenance…upon you and Give you peace. The Lord make His face to Shine Upon You and Be Gracious Unto You…Amen and Amen♥️♥️♥️
I and we are with you...
Don't worry... We know what you are going throw...
All training..
God knows what is komming....
Think Training....!!!
For the Tim's to Komme...!
Don't worry...
Every thing will be alright...!
God will ondly train you...
You should do more videos even though you r depressed my man
1:40 Yeah me too, definitely relate to you there.
I only experienced hearing voices (usually when I was about to fall sleep) for a short period of time. The feeling of hot breath in my ears when the voices would say: "Hey!" "Hahahahahaha." *disembodied nonsensical whispers* The goal? Maybe to scare me enough to stop me from sleeping? 🤔 I had to sleep with the most used ear muffled by a pillow to even relax enough to sleep.
Recently, I see things in my vision (usually corners of my eyes) like past? cats, shadow forms, movement/people that are not really there. I am like ???, I swear I saw someone pass by the window.
Sometimes even my brain goes blank. *Like autopilot* That I dont even realize until we get back home. When me and my mom go out to buy things, I don't even register that she bought anything else. When we get home I am surprised! that we got more than I thought. It spooks me.
Now the paranoia, oh Lord that is a hellish feeling. Woke up from multiple dreams, paranoid about reality. Distrusting of all outside my room except my cat, ready to kill whoever tried to get to me like in my dream, my whole body on a restless edge. The longest one I had was 30 minutes after the dream, of pure paranoia. Hyper aware of every creak, every door opening and closing, them talking. I was formulating escape plans through my window, if I should use the couch cushions to block their attacks, where the weapons were in the house. After getting out of it, the week that followed I doubted the intentions of the very people I cared about so much.
Gone through a mere drop in an ocean of what you are going through. 😿 Makes me wish I could take all of the pain of the people of world on myself. If it meant for everyone to be happy.
Now, the only thing stronger than the brain is the soul. The brain or whatever it is, is trying to break your spirit. It sees your soul as a threat, that is preventing it from getting what it wants.
It uses fear to make you submit and wear you down.
I to my knowledge can never see the world completely through your eyes. But, I will just relay what I did to my little pesky demons.
For context this was when I was on the cusp of dominating my depression.
0. The hole in my soul caused by my depression, was filled when I was crying at night again. ( *Bastille flaws plays* ) Maybe the despair, lowest of the low points, or inner desire to fill this hole, evoked this good energy to come and fill the void. With warmth, peace, and light. (It's been some years, so I may have forgotten important details)
1. When I felt my spirit/soul get tired of a particularly long battle. I internally with my soul, cried for help that I couldn't fight anymore. To, Please to give me energy to continue the battle. As the enemies got closer and closer. I was given so much, I felt like I could fight for all eternity if need be.
2. My Paranoid moments, (helped by the fact my door was locked and I felt slightly safer)and my cat's presence grounded me to a point of reality. Her sleeping form, in such a vulnerable position still sleeps soundly. That my brain calmed down bit by bit, that there was no danger here if the cat was not panicking.
3. The voices, I think the main reason after trying to block them out and them still being there. I was getting mad at them slowly but surely, even though the voices would make the goosebumps rise, startle me, even kept me awake for the whole night sometimes several nights in a row etc... I took my frustrations out on them. (This is fricking weird I know but I did this, so if you do this too. 😅 Guess we are both weirdos) I snarled at them (I could feel their presences not see them), yes odd but I was lowkey running out of options.
Everytime they stopped me from sleeping, I responded with a snarl and snapping at them. Following their presences with my eyes. My room sometimes would feel like it would be filled with multiple to even hundreds.
-
Now they did not like it one bit, that I was starting to shed my fear of disembodied voices. They intensified in response, I persevered until their attempts to yell in my ears only earned them more fury from me to them to leave me alone. (Since demons run on fear, I just started purging myself absolutely of fear of them) Sure they could get me off guard at times, but over time I repeated the phrases they said in my head to intentionally desensitize myself to the future attempts. Make it so repeated and boring. (I even challened the voices I heard; that is that all you can say? C'mon a parrot can do better than that) To laugh at their attempts, and it made it easier to turn them into background noise. To hopefullt ignore them a lot more effectively.(Hate the fact the moment theres any semblance of words or spoken language anywhere the brain immediately dials in even if imaginary) 😤
4. The things I see but are not really there,
They have been occurring on and off sporadically. Recently, they are just a smidge more noticeable. For me it's a lot less scary, if I see something pass by that wasnt really there. I go to verify if it's real, then if its not shame my brain. I even try to scare it back, by giving a bunch of hypotheticals of if a real axe murderer, or killer chases me and if my brain will make them look like they are going to give me a hug, flowers, etc... When they will REALLY kill me. The brain still fundamentally wants to keep you alive, even though the voices may say otherwise. If it did want to kill you, surely it would just stop your heart itself??? 🤔 Big brain moment? 🙀
Will anything that I have written work or even help? I dunno. 🤷♀️ I do not know if it even can work with those officially diagnosed with something such as this. But, after hearing what you said I couldn't just leave without typing what I went through and did.
🤗❤️ May it give you some comfort in knowing at least there is a weirdo out there somewhere in the world who snarls at what looks like nothing. 😌😅
May Allah be with u brother
The illness itself can make you tired too
Can they give you a medication to counteract the tiredness? Modafinil maybe? I don’t know the meds they use but maybe you can ask?
Have you tried risperidone or the invega sustenna just asking that what I've been on and they work for me no zombieness or anything and gets rid of all the symptoms and allow me to function
I wish you could re launch your discord. I would like to reach out to you.
I recently wrote this of my experience. Perhaps it might help you, worth a try anyway 💚
The Light that broke the chains
‘Chains of mental illness’
‘Chains of restraint’
‘Chains to hold you safe’
Physical Chains
The experience I had that broke these chains I will endeavour to describe below. Before I had this experience my mental illness could be described as chains that bound me and confined me within from when I first fell ill. The chains of restraint as part of my healing journey in my case involved medication and the side effects that went along with that and living a lifestyle that benefited the illness in order to cope with it. The final chains to hold me safe before freedom and the light came in was in continuing to take and change medications that helped and lots of sleep to nourish the brain but without having a hope of more. A hope of more beyond the body and something to hold on to when times are difficult. The chains hold you safe but means you have to drag them around with you without having freedom from the weight of them.
Spiritual Freedom
I can best describe it like the sun shining through the stained glass windows in a church filling it with beautiful coloured light as the Holy Spirit filling me and then bursting out of me like pure white shards of crystal glass breaking the chains of mental illness that had originally wrapped themselves around me so many years ago. I have been on a journey with my illness and although I still take medication and have as healthy a lifestyle as possible trying to do all ‘the right things’ I am only now truly free of the spiritual, emotional burden of psychosis. I feel a lot lighter now only having to deal with the physical aspect and I know that if I keep looking to the light and am filled all will be well. I became a Christian 5 years ago after an experience with the Holy Spirit and my walk with the Lord has sustained me. The spiritual sustenance that I had so lacked broke my chains and the light found a way in.
‘Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest’.
Matthew 11:28
No disrespect but schizophrenia Sounds like anxiety on steroids
I think your case is extremely rare, schizophrenia below 13 years old. Always interesting to hear your story
Bro, I hope everything works out for you I'm schizo effective myself I know how it feels bro.
You see all the worst case scenarios and have worked out the safest logical thing to do… but what about making the grass grow?
It can be your brain but so more importantly it is the thoughts that have brought you to your knees. \
n//
Jacob, where r u? It's been a month. Make a video please. Concerned if your ok.
I agree with your thoughts on medication, I came off them slowly over three years. Never regretted it. I am 'cured'. You will be in my prayers.
This is like a nightmare. Yeah bro, because you never felt chill. You never actually was just ''being'', something was and is in your mind the whole damn time. That's me actually, but i have some technical thinking problem, being called ''psychosis''. But i feel like i can allter my coinsciousness whenever i want to where i am and what i am. Bro i got so many questions. And i feel like i'm loosing my mind.
That's me in like 10 years, probably being able to chill like person having no second thoghts on every day life 👍
sometimes medication is worse than the actual disorder itself
I am skitzophrenic too bro keep the head up done give up they could be a cure very soon
Schizophrenic
Don't you think meds are basically poison?
Hey Autumn
You try and grow spiritually and than ask your spirit to help you overcome brain issues
I like or love animals I do.trybget ur self a dog ittd not just an animal but a campion for u
...stay strong bud
❤️
Depression sucks trust me I know
Jacob. Please dont let this scare you, these things wont be able to hurt you. If i know about something, i feel i have to tell you about it, and hoping it will help and not the opposite. Have you checked out Jerry Marzinsky? He worked with schizo patience for over 35+ years, he knows it's not hallucinations, and I also know It's not. This all began after i started recording EVP (electronic voice phenomena) i started getting class A voices and i started talking to them and got responses on the recordings. Then after a while they came into my life and i hear them with my naked ears. It has been hell for 3 years now 24/7 even when i wake up i hear them this is what they do it's about to make you kill yourself or get killed by medication. But I'm in a day and night different place now, much better, in the beginning it scared me to almost death, they do this thing they always lie, and they always threatening you that they will kill you, but it's all a lie. These are real entities doing this. CZcams Jerry and listen to his podcast interviews, it will help tremendously. There are ways out of this, and medication will not help! It fucks you up in the long run, please listen to me and take my advice. I have so much stuff that will help you out.
Jerry Marzinsky
just use critical thinking , it is a super power don't feel less than anybody else.
DO MEDITATION
Maybe your a star seed 😮 like me
You shouldn't be so hard on yourself babe.
You need something to focus your attention on, outside of yourself. It’s BECAUSE you are not focused on things externally, that you are depressed.
Make yourself a project. Set yourself some goals, and archive them. You are too focused on yourself, instead of external things.
You need to end all of this self-pity, and self-regard, and see HOW you can help OTHER PEOPLE!!
If you stop all of whining and get off your ass and do things in the world. You will not have any time to be depressed.
You can start by going to a Gym, getting outside in the Sun, and meeting people. Buy yourself a Bicycle and ride 3 miles a day.
Do all and any of these things, and you will stop being depressed.
Physical exercise is the best cure for depression. It increases your heart rate. It increased your metabolism. It cleared the mind.
hey jacob i think you just need to wake up lol watch david icke