Bad-Mouthing an Ex? A Mother Questions Blasting Father’s Lack of Child Support to Her Daughter
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- čas přidán 12. 09. 2024
- Should kids know the truth about a parent’s lack of financial support? One mother’s frustration led to us reveal how dangerous and hurtful some of our childhood experiences were.
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#BadMouthingAnEx #ChildSupport #FinancialSupport
Should kids know the truth about a parent’s lack of financial support?
Yes
Eventually, from both sides primarily. And then from the law books. Moreover, money should never be a reason to keep a child away or keep away from a child. Before formula women breastfed, before pampers there were diapers. Due to the fact that one can’t be two money is more of a necessity. Whereas two parents together probably never had or needed the money that child support may require. If he didn’t have it from the beginning is what I’m saying. But most children can do without certain things but their father should be last on the list. A ticket is nothing, but where to stay? Can the two be cordial for the three. A tea party with the stuffed animals and some ice cream is minimal. But means a lot to the child. Think of the children, instead of yourself.
If it’s a certain age yes, but I would start with “Your mother and father will always love you, but……” then I would end with “you know your mom or dad will love you no matter what and even though he does not make a lot of money, he or she will always be there for you, for us”
Only if they're able to understand what's going on ....then if they asked why I'd be honest & say that it's either because of the bad economy,drugs, alcohol,or simply because they just don't want to....but it doesn't change how much they love you ....
The father should start paying child support. *Then he can see his CHILD.* That’s how that works. 🙄
People wonder why men are okay with being deadbeats. We coddle them and try not to hurt their feelings, yet it’s always the mother’s responsibility to be the bigger person and take everything with a grain of salt.
Deadbeats are well known and well disliked. The reason they are is because they just don't have to like a mom wants to.
The word deadbeat really holds no power if you think about it. It's subjective.
The only time a man is ok with being a deadbeat is if he didn't want the child. That's why you marry before u carry
@@PCSPITTER4NY no there are plenty of men who were or even are married to their child’s mother and still fall under the term “deadbeat” !!!! Mothers can also be deadbeats.
Not bad-mouthing a deadmeat isn’t coddling or trying not to hurt their feelings though, it’s about protecting the child and trying to shield from as much unnecessary emotional turmoil as possible. At least until they’re old enough to understand the situation, the kids shouldn’t have to hear negative things if it can be helped
Loni this look is everything 🥰😍
🙌 yes! She is stunning and that green is gorgeous on her.
Ikr, she has been on the style this season...she looks fantastic!!!😍😍😍😍😍😍😍
Bright green
Yasss
The way folks coddle Dads & are so hard on single mothers is truly sick.
🎯🎯🎯
Stop having children if you're single
I don't think this approach was meant to coddle the dad, it was to be honest with the CHILD, but still be sensitive and respectful to the child's needs. It's not fare to burden the child with every single detail. Also, they were just stating that they don't know the father's side to the story.
Coddle? Not in this issue. It is very common to hear mother constantly bad mouthing their ex to their own kid.
@@violetl.4615 Sometimes people get divorced.
Tbh there’s a way to tell your kid that their dad isn’t being a nice person without just bad-mouthing him. Plus, you can feel sad with your child so you can help them navigate those emotions about it.
wow! Adrienne, when you hit us with "that's 50% of the child" I felt that and honestly I had to pause the video. my mom didn't really speak down my dad but like you all mentioned, there came a point in time where I knew that there were parts of my parents I didn't like or want to be associated with and it hurt. so as I got older, I would struggle with separating myself from the parents I came from. especially because i'am my dad's TWIN.
You don't have to bad mouth the other parent, but you can be transparent about the other parent. In fact, when you don't address things, children grow up with issues based on incorrect information or assumptions because they never had answers. Complete silence to take the high road isn't going to remove the problem. Communication is very important. You can be honest with the kids without being hateful about the other parent.
Well said
Just stick to the facts and keep opinions to yourself.. tell the kid we are struggling because it is just your income and the dad isn’t contributing. Dont tell the kid the dad is a stingy worthless deadbeat.
Adrienne explain exactly how i felt growing up . DONT TALK BAD ABOUT THE OTHER PARENT TO YOUR KIDS NO MATTRR WHAT!!
My parents separated when I was around twelve years old and they later divorced. My siblings and I lived with our mother , but my father continued to visit us, spend time with us and take us places. My mother and father remained friends, they never said negative things about each other to me and I believe they still loved each other even though they divorced. I really appreciate my parents for not putting each other down or saying negative things because I truly loved both of my parents. I hate that they are no longer with us, but I appreciate the years that we had to love and care for one another. It’s been six years since my father died, and four since my mother died and even now every once in a while I catch myself thinking that I need to call one of them on the phone or visit. Then I remember that I can’t do that anymore. So I say be grateful if you have a good relationship with your parents and if you do not, try to mend it if possible.
You had adults as parents.
I'm sorry for your loss.
@@agathachris9722 : Thank you. My faith helps me to keep moving forward and gives me hope for the future. I hope you enjoy the rest of your day. 🙂
So true. I'm sorry for your loss. I'm glad they co-parented well with you guys ❤
Everything you said hit me hard. Exactly what my childhood was as well. My mom always told us,. " That is your father, you will respect him" whenever I'd be hurt by him. Thanks for sharing. Sorry for your loss.
I find Adrienne's perspective on this topic interesting cause, for me, it was not like that. My parents aren't divorced, it was never possible in our culture and the environment where they live. From the age of 4-5, I could tell they were terribly unhappy. I could tell who was wrong and who was right. When my mother bad mouthed him, I understood her because I observed those things. So, when she did that, I never felt bad that she's talking about half of me because he is his own individual, with his own karma. He may have passed me some of his traits but that doesn't mean "if he's bad, then half of me is bad as well". He has his own karma and has made his own choices that have nothing to do with me.
i think you have that perspective because you had rhe chance to see him, but the child in this situation doesn’t see her dad. so her only perspective would be what the mom is saying... which could be more likely to lead to what ade was saying.... just offering the other side
Remember when Isreal got called out for not paying child support for the 2 side babies ya'll don't claim, Adrienne??🤔
*You shouldn't bad mouth any one especially in front of children.*
I've been that child in this type of situation. My parents separated when I was 15 and later divorced. My mom waited for me to get older before she explained a lot of things I never really understood to me. I also saw and heard for myself when I got older. If the situation is as bad as this then kids need to know as much of the truth as they can handle for their sake.
My parents are not divorced but my Mother allmost on a daily bases badmouth my dad! As a new mam a really just can bear it anymore...it's just so saaaaad
I had same growing up
Yeah, lived this. Dad is gone, and she's still doing it. He was a difficult man, but i didn't need to know that much about their marriage.
Why don’t y’all EVER let Garcelle finish what she has to say? So annoying! Adrienne & Jeannie are always interrupting her and not letting her finish.
Tell the truth to the kids especially those old enough to engage in ill informed decisions. Having a more indepth story is important in the child's character building, personality development and forming of identity. Let kids know you as a parent are human as well and do not sing the praises of an abusive or msnipulative partner just to be thought of as the martyr or the good parent.
I liked how loni had to say garcelle you talk first. Probably cause Adrienne has to always talk first even though she doesn’t have kids
She really does. Why? A, Calm down.
The four of the Real Ladies have equal say, they have equal amount of time to start the conversation.
Is there Stats about Adrienne starting the conversation maybe
But maybe the order of speaking is a part of meetings before the show
And if Adrienne does speak first it doesn’t mean the other 3 co host opinions are valid
The four powerful Real women are equal
@@JadeSentinel omfg every episode she rushes to talk first and interrupts everyone
@@JadeSentinel unless of course if Adrienne is not there than everyone gets a equal a amount of time to talk
@@chiliebeeniemcdonald7306 just remember they are all trying their best, that is we all can do.
My daughter father paid his child support but he would guilt trip and use excuses about not being able to see her. He would lie to my daughter all the time. He told her that I wanted the divorce and I cheated when it was the complete reverse. I would always defend when she didn't want to to see him. I never bad mouthed him. She had all kinds of problems when she hit the teens and now our relationship is fractured because of the influence he has. So I think that children should have both sides when old enough And let them decide.
I'm sorry to hear this girl. Props on keeping your head up and being the bigger person. I hope your relationship with your daughter gets better with time. You're doing your best and I hope she sees that one day. ❤
I think its okay. Just give them the necessary information. No need to go into bad mouthing. Hold these dads accountable.
Its just difficult and can make things worse if the child is put between conversations to be had amongst adults. The difficult conversations can become easier when the parenting are willing to put ego aside
My friend went through this with her ex and I told her don't overly bad mouth his father; as he grows up he'll see who his dad is. I agree how Jeannie worded it.
I would let my baby see things for themselves actions speak louder than words then I won’t look bad. Gracelle on point
Any "pain" that man is going through does NOT cancel the fact that he isn't paying for the child he created and blaming the mom for not wanting to see his kid. Coddling deadbeat dads does a disservice to everyone. There's a way to explain the situation to the kid w/o bashing her dad, even if he deserves to be bashed.
Jeannie said it perfectly 💗
Why does Adrienne always say?... Does that make sense?..
You don't have to bad mouth the other parent, that's never a good thing (it creates other problems). However, you can tell the child/children the truth at a level they can understand and digest it. Because like Garcelle was saying, the child will come to know the truth and understand on their own. And then they take it from there about how they choose to interact with that parent.
Don’t emotionally scare your baby. Kids will find out eventually the true colours of their father. Don’t bad mouth him bite your tongue. You will only be hurting your babies and will think you are the bad one
According to a child's age and understanding is as far as one should go. The truth will come to light, it always does eventually. Asking for help from a counselor/doctor is one option so that the child understands and they know they are loved and not being kept from daddy. Reassuring the child that as a mom she is not keeping him from his child. Also that if they went to see daddy, they'd pay, so if daddy comes here its his responsibility to pay for that.
Green is your Color Loni
I don't think a child should be told about child support at age 11.
Agree
I mean they are in what 5th grade they should be old enough to understand even tho despite the fact of being young in genal i guess
Loni is slaying in that blouse, love 💕 the look
The father is subtly poisoning the child’s mind about the mother. The mother needs to clarify to the child what each parent’s responsibility is and how much she is doing as a mother.
When my mom was alive she and my grandma always said bad, but truthful things about my grandpa and it definitely affected the relationship i have with him especially now that my mom is gone because i can't ask him about the things she said since she isn't here anymore to defend herself about why she felt the way she did. Her childhood did not create the best of circumstances for her development and she had a lot of resentment going into her adult years towards both her parents but mainly my grandpa because of how he didn't treat her the way she felt was appropriate. So i definitely think you walk a fine line with your kids depending on age as far as what you tell them about the other parent, but once they become an adult then all bets are off and you can finally be honest and tell the whole story without having to change the language and terms
My mom bad mouthed my dad...and I didn't feel like she was talking about me..I know my dad and she was 100% right! I don't understand what Adrienne was trying to say..but I do think parents shouldn't tell kids negative things about the other parent. Garcelle made a great point that kids will see things for themselves.
No parent should bad mouth the other to a child. Maybe when the child becomes an adult then you can have that conversation. But not with an eleven year old. Because at the end of the day you (man or woman) made the consensual choice to sleep with with that person and have a child with him or her. And people often show you who they are and we often choose to ignore the red flags.
We only have ONE SIDE OF THE STORY!!!doesn't mean she's lying but the nerve that u have to judge the situation and OF COURSE the man is beyond any understanding!!!!
Loni, you look good!
Garcelle seems hurt at the end with that statement 😢😮 😉😀 she said be careful who you have a baby with lmaoo😉😀😊😅
I waited until my son came to me and asked about the relationship between myself and his biological father before I said anything to him about it. I knew if he asked he was ready to handle the conversation. However, I never said anything bad about him to him at all, even to this day. My son was able to see who did what for him even before he came to me and asked about it, he just need to have the conversation for himself to understand and get clarity to figure our his own identity and who he wanted to be as a man.
I think kids realize on their own
This kind of conversation shouldn’t necessarily be had with the young child because that’s an adult issue handled between the adults FOR THE SAKE of the child... but it’s funny this conversation is had because this season on RHOA Kandi’s daughter Riley is 18 and is in college and she for herself wanted the money from her father for her college funds and he was being a jackass and really owed thousands of dollars years ago and was being petty about it and avoided the real conversation of being held accountable not only for not being there but not even paying child support which is the LEAST u could do... and some men’s and yes women too their ego can get the best of them when they’re out of a relationship that didn’t work with a child involved !
Loni looks great!!
I agree with garcelle and I understand where the mother is coming from my daughters dad and I are divorce and it hasn’t been easy sometime as parent we do get frustrated when we are doing it all and that’s ok we’re human but I try to never speak badly to her about him but she 14 so when ask I am honest with her !!!!!
the convo shouldnt be had with young children but it should be had at some point when they are older. They need to know the truth about that parent when they can handle it. For a long time i didnt know to expect that my father provide for me financially, because he didnt. It got to a point where i felt guilty for receiving anything but especially from him! because in my mind he needed the money to take care of himself and i didn't want to be a burden. He was my only parent and left to live with another family after my mom passed. HE of course was not on child support and was not held accountable by himself nor his relatives. They looked the other way. I didnt ask for ANYTHING. I literally had nothing until i got my own job as a teen. THis is why kids need advocates because their mindset is different.
Loni looks beautiful!
Tell her. Honey, your dad said he doesn't have enough money to come. I love you and I'm sorry honey, but I will try my best to give you everything you need.
Loni is ridiculous.
No one seems to like their job. This is so uncomfortable to watch. I think it has to do with Jeannie Mai and the whole wedding situation
Omg both of my parents bad mouthed each other really bad to me and told me the other one didn’t love me. So fucked up
So AGAIN Adrienne is not letting people speak
FINALLY YALL SAID SOMETHING WITH SENSE GD
Does that make sense? Lol Love A but she gotta stop
Again ladies... WE choose the quality of men we give our time and bodies to. You wasn't complaining laying up in bed with him, keep that same energy sis! It's not all on the men. WE need to be accountable too! 🙄there are too many bitter mothers ruining their child's perception of their father. If they're as bad as you claim, the child will grow to see that.
Whheeewwww Adrienne hit on the nail.
All my conversations are recorded.. lol. Soooo I can always go back and listen 😅
Loni what’s the secret you been looking amazing working from home 👏👏👏👏
Come off the holier than thou bs this is real life and it doesn't work that way. Sometimes if your crappy/shitty enough you need to be talked about and that's probably the least they deserve. There's some rotten. lack of love, care and empathy parents out there. And your not talking bad your telling the truth that happens to be a bad truth And the child already knows it because they are experiencing the neglect, abuse or lack of love from the parent. So so what if you talk about them. Just tell the child you don't be like this you take a different road.
Moms are deadbeats
#Abortion😭😭😭
No they are not
Loni looks amazing. Adrienne beautiful and looking nice as usual
So must be ok for the father to tell stuff about the mother too. Always 2 sides to every story.
Jeannie don't have kids..she just a stepmom trying to be like the jeezy baby momma..
She does now 😊
Loni🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥❤️❤️❤️❤️love the green vibe
Gm edagdwg god bless you all enjoy your life Linda j. Peace
Who else is here after the whole Jeanie mai wedding SAGA?
Honestly, I’ll say this. These 3 ladies should’ve been invited, at least Adrienne, Loni and Tam. She’s been on this show with them for 8 years and she didn’t even have the courtesy of inviting them? Nah, that’s messed up. That’s not been real, that’s being shady. Period!
She even knew them before Jeezy🙄
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Who do yall think has the most money out of the co hosts? Both Individually and with their partners. Random but I’m just curious.
Individually Garcelles net worth is 8million - and then, Adrienne is 4 million per google - so them two.
LOL with their partner, Jeanie for sure. Jeezy has bank.
Loni net worth 3 million, and Israel is net worth is 8 million
Jeezy net worth is 10 million, jeanie is 4 million
@@raayden6125 Oh Wow their net woth is surprising😮 what about Loni??? do you know??
Lately I’m not feeling Adrienne’s unkept, messy, browns style. It’s like she’s living out of a garbage bin or something. Compared to Jeannie’s sheik countenance and Loni’s corporate look, she’s failing
@@Momo-n6e In this particular instance I do mean the transliteration of sheekh, sheik, sheyikh, shaykh, shayk, shekh, shaik and shaikh as Jeanie looks like Middle Eastern royalty here.
@Change ur username it’s just my observation. You are entitled to your own.
It’s the “she’s failing” that’s sending me 😂😂😂
Jeannie badmouthed her ex-husband when all he wanted was to become a father, but Jeannie didn't want to have kids. Obviously, this wasn't gonna work out, but she made him the bad guy by making up cheating stories anyway. Now, she says great things about Jeezy, a man who has a history of beating his own little son 👌