How To Identify & Deal With A Narcissist, Financially And Otherwise With
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- čas přidán 23. 01. 2022
- In this episode, filmed in Los Angeles in summer 2021, Chelsea sits down with Dr. Ramani to talk about narcissism, financial abuse, and how to identify toxicity in your own relationships.
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Thank you for having me on your show! It was a pleasure!
This video was fantastic and brilliant. Thank you for sharing your insight with us.
Thank you for spreading these insights!😃
Such an important topic, this was brilliant. My psychologist suggested I look at your channel when I was trying to reflect and move on from a past relationship and I can't say enough how helpful your videos were in moving on
♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼
Your amazing! Thank you for all your work🙏🙏🙏
"Nobody should ever NOT have their own sources of finances or income. Ever." Amen. It bears repeating. And do have a side-eye for ANYONE who tried to lure you into this with the promise that it is good for you. It isn't. Ever. If it works out, you were lucky, but it's a gamble with your life.
I had my own sorce of income before getting married. And it was shit. I pay all the bills and the buisness license and all the accounts are in my name. I don't check with him about any spending. I wish I had my own income but tbh... I am so much more happy maintaing a household and providing our meals then going to work everyday and making my employer more money and stressing me out all day... with no benefits whatsoever. I've completed accepted as women in society we do not make the kind of money a man can. Hard truth. I used to have really bad acne then when I stopped working my face cleared up fast. I do hold a lot of dental assistant certs and licenses but the field, which is female dominated, is extremely under paid. There is no way I could ever make the money my husband does. If things get bad, I can transfer a great amount of cash to my personal bank account I've had since college. If my husband thinks he can kick me to the curb he's got a whole binder worth of paperwork that's all in my phone calendar to keep up on and BE MY GUEST. and do your own dishes and laundry see how far he gets!
And I did get a pre nump saying inheritance is hands off for him... but I'll still take half of whatever we have together 😂🤪😬 I'm bad but... my dad married a narc... twice... and the last one ran him down into the ground during a divorce and the whole marriage. She was extremely financially abusive and she didn't work. I took notes 😬 women got to have their own back.
Agreed and we especially need to assure women are trained for this and more open to jobs where the salary is same male/female.
My mom stopped working to take care of me and my sister, didn’t have her own income since then until we moved out to go to university. She still thinks of her years with us as the best years of her life. Did she get lucky? Maybe. My dad is a great guy. I also work part time (making much much less compared to full time) and take care of the household while my husband makes pretty much all of our money. I am very happy and not worried at all. My husband is a great guy. But if that changes one day, half of everything we owe, including savings and retirement, our house is mine. And I know I will be able to find a source of income if need be. So this whole never ever do this or that is really not a good advice. I am not going to plan my life based on fears and what ifs. Decide for yourself what works for you.
If your married to a narcissist it doesn't matter if you have your own income. They are entitled to yours.
Regarding social media: "Now these fools can sit home and seek out admiration 24/7. "
I burst out laughing at that line, but Dr. Ramani is dropping FACTS! 👀🤣
I would love to see an episode on ADHD and money. I have a hard time sticking to or even remembering the financial plans I make for myself.
I second this. In the meantime, I think HowtoADHD has similar videos?
What about HowtoADHD and Financial Diet together in one episode?!?!
@@juliegumerman8224 that would be 🔥🔥🔥
Yes!!
@@juliegumerman8224 yess, TFC with HowToADHD when???
I love Dr Ramani. She was my college professor 💖
Lucky
lucky
Omg that's so cool!!! I can't imagine all of the genuine and priceless value from being in that class 😍👌
I am so jealous omg
I’m sorry. that woman should not have a medical license
My mother was diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder. She was horribly abusive, violent, manipulative, and cruel. I kind of hate how popular it is becoming to call everyone we don't like a "narcissist" these days. I understand that so many mental disorders go undiagnosed/ are hard to diagnose, but it's almost painful to hear it used as a social media term to replace the word "a**hole".
I absolutely agree with you.
Yup. Having to deal with truly deep narcissist is seriously difficult.
I had a narcissistic mother, so to my surprise I had very little boundaries with a boyfriend back in college. I ended up moving in with him so we can survive the summer by pooling our finances together. We both had maybe $600 pooled in for 3 months. We were essentially living on rice and beans. I had worked on getting a job that was going to start in the second month. In the end, he somehow convinced me to hand over my savings so that we could properly manage the money together and that's when the entire relationship shifted.
I was no longer "allowed" to go to the library to study... He was upset I was getting better grades than him in the summer class we were taking. I wasn't "allowed" to wear certain clothes. I wasn't "allowed" to have a key to our place. I also wasn't allowed to have a lock on my phone because he said he had a right to read everything I do. And if I protested, he would leave the apartment for hours knowing that if I left, I'd essentially be locked out in a city that wasn't very friendly for women. I would go hours and hours without food, so eventually I learned to play nice until my first paycheck came in. I secretly looked for other accommodations so I could escape. I would have never been able to do this if I hadn't had a job.
When I escaped, he began harassing me through the phone that I had stolen money from him, which I did not. He told everyone that I had stolen his money. He was unable to make the rent without my pending income, so apparently it was all my fault. He actually felt entitled to my money in his way of thinking. It was like once he had my money in the beginning, he felt he owned my entire personhood and my future earnings. He found where I lived and stalked me for months on end.
I am so glad you managed to escape from that.
💗💗💗
My God, that sounds like a nightmare. Also glad you escaped! No one deserves to live with someone like that
Dear God so sorry to hear this. I really you sought therapy. As Dr Ramani always says the best revenge is to be the best person you can be and happy.b
I'm a year late haha, but I love both of these channels! I have to say, my narcissistic mom traded love and affection for her money. Trips, gifts, help with bills... All "because I love you so much, I just love to give you blessings!" Then BOOM, the rage comes and you get "After all I've done for you??? You're so ungrateful!" They took money left to me for college by my grandparent too. And I didn't really want their money, I didn't want to be bought. But if you turned it down you're "tearing the family apart." So you lost both ways.
Jaw drop. This is the collab I thought I’d never see. It is amazing to see Dr. Raman i here. Thank you, TFD.
Same! I follow both of them, never expected to see this amazing collab 🔥🙌
Two of my absolute favorite people on CZcams. What valuable collaboration. Thanks for sharing!
yes! it's surreal, like two parallel universes merged
Mine also!!! Thanks so much for this collaboration @DoctorRamani and @TFD ! 🙏
I've gone to a live q and a with the doc. She is just as awesome irl as her videos!
35:45 I rewatched this part 4 times. I remember being 5 or 6 thinking there was something wrong with my dad but never had anyone who would listen to me. It wasn't until my parents divorce when I was 12 that I finally could share all my observations and opinions with my mom. She was then surprised I had recognized all the ways he controlled her and demeaned her, to a large extent better than she was ever willing to acknowledge. I was the truth teller and my dad perceived me to be "out to get him." He tried his best to convince others I was deranged to discredit my trenchant observations of him my whole life. My parents' divorce was the most liberating and validating experience I had my whole life.
I was a truth teller too! I had one narcissistic parent and another addicted one who probably had BPD. Everyone enabled the narcissist and denied my reality. I was the only one in the family who could see it. It's hard cos you grow up to second guess your own judgement constantly cos everyone else did.
The “itemized bill for raising you” thing happened to a friend of mine once he started setting boundaries around his parents. It was very sad.
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My brother did the same to me when I asked him to pay back the $23,000 that I loaned to him. He tries to justify him not paying me back. 😠
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I dated a narcissist who wanted, desperately, to move in with me. I made much more money than he and he pressured me continuously to live together...in my house (he worked minimally). I broke it off and never heard from him again... He didn't get what he wanted and is probably on to the next victim.
when people talk about narcissism it's always "it's somebody else; they're awful" and never "yep, that's me."
Most are unaware
I've always been afraid I'm a narcissist, to the point where I believe I'm a terrible person because of it
We all have traits… I think about mine- and if it were relative… are mine 10 per cent, 30, 60?
Are His only 10 and I don’t get it, 50, 90?
What if I am covert? What if it is my low energy levels or autism that makes me codependent and look narcissistic? Mind you, those closest to him- even daughter, say he probably would have a formal diagnosis- and no one but He has said this about me.
Even if you wonder if you have these traits , (and people say if you wonder, you’re not), there is still a possibility that you do- and everyone does-- or at least learned some behaviorally from those you were surrounded by.
Having a mental illness doesn’t make you a terrible person. It’s not smth you can control and its something you can get help with, and that’ll make your life better.
Because they like to think the cause of their problems is somewhere else.
Preach. I am married to a wonderful person who makes about 4 times what I make when I work full time. I work part time now (I have a full-time volunteer position) but I’ll never give up working entirely… I want to have work experience and a source of income for myself even though it’s not the main way we pay for our bills.
I was in a psychologically abusive relationship with a narcissist for quite some time, and he was very weird and controlling over money. For a period of time I was just starting out, was looking for a job and broke, and he would bully me into buying him things on my credit card and would berate me if he perceived I was being "cheap." If we went out he would keep track down to mere cents who was spending more money than the other, and at restaurants would rack up the bill with drinks then pressure me into splitting halfway. If he lost a bill he'd accuse me of stealing it, he called me "irresponsible with money" for leaving some spare change and bills on the table of the apartment, once I dropped a bill worth about $8 (different currency) on the way to the grocery store and when he found out he flipped his shit. He would also try to screw small vendors and businesses out of very small amounts of money (owed a laundromat about $3 that we didn't have on hand when we picked up the clothes, he berated me for making the effort to return it to him). I was in my early 20s when those red flags were swinging over my head, so at the very least I AM smarter now. Don't let the same thing happen to you!
My dad and a lot of my ex’s were narcissistic. Power dynamics with them are beyond exhausting. If you’re in a situation where you have to rely on a narcissistic person (financially or otherwise) be ready to be completely emotionally drained. They even use physical force sometimes depending on the person and if they also have anti social personality disorder
Mine are the nicest kind, but I worry that I’m one, and get confused about whether my ADD and High functioning autism and now low energy and burnouts as well as bipolar 2 (I’m not sure, but disagnosed), are the reason I perceive them this way- or they experience me as exasperating and lazy, but I understand why they would and even wonder about my invisible differences in order to give them a benefit of doubt and always keep a healthy amount of not knowing.
But I am a confused mess of an adult that needs to be separated from all people and reality as I know it in order to try to get in touch w some core of myself…
It’s weird existing as a nebula, or essence - and I still don’t know if it’s them because one of them seems very nice… there are cultural and generational issues complicating the matter
And so I’m living an existence, subsisting on others’ help and from day to day.
I hope there is a way out, but have given up pursuing it the last couple years because my own thriving- has eluded me all my life-
OH MY GOD. This is the collab that’s like when you run into both of your exes in a bar looking like a smoke show, too perfect to be true!!! Dr Ramani and Chelsea, the dream collab
I felt the same way when Chelsea collaborated with Caitlin from Ask a Mortician 😁
@@lizd.8655 oh that’s was really good too! I love this channel 🥰🌸
ahh i love this analogy
Loving this episode. To a narcissist, a casual conversation is an opportunity to extract whatever kind of information they can from someone.
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Yesssss, I recently got out of a living situation with a narcissist landlady - at first she seemed really chill and nice. But red flags started appearing quickly, and she overshared and would honestly ask very personal questions for the amount of time we'd known each other.
Before I even labelled her as a narcissist, my gut was like "I don't feel comfortable sharing certain things with you, because you're going to use that against me at some point."
You continue to collab with the coolest people! I've watched you on and off for ages (I think almost since you've started tfd) and you continue to be a creator that I value highly. You've made me interested in finance stuff for the first time, and you give me confidence that I'm going to be able to manage on my own after uni. Just wanted to tell you you're doing amazingly and you can definitely feel proud of the platform you've built!
Ookoo
Oooliooooo
I 32 years old. My mum passed away in 2010, and I am ONLY JUST NOW going through therapy to work through all the abuse I copped from my borderline Mother. My heart goes out to anyone who has dealt with or currently dealing with the same, but Doc is right. When it's over - whether you leave, they leave or they die - you will feel that burden lift immediately. It's instant liberation.
Sorry, Mum. I love you, but unfortunately....
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Do you ever know if it’s also you or just them? Or your perception of them?
Or their culture?
I’m so confused I just want a baseline for myself, my neurodivergence, my traits and what happened and how to fix it so I have health and something inside that helps me go for things again.
It doesn’t help that ADd and autism rattle my mind and plannjng as well as understanding certain dynamics.
If you are married to a narcissist it doesn't matter if "you have your own income"... they will find a way to separate you from it. Even if they dont work.
So happy that my (and probably several others) suggestion in bringing together TFD and Dr. Armani became a reality! Thank you so much for this TFD! Such a great and valuable collaboration about narcissism and finances, a toxic mix that many have had to deal with in life or still deals with now.
OMG dream collaboration. I have never clicked so fast in my life. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
Same 😮
Me too 😂
Never call someone a narcissist is amazingly good legal advice. (Said as a divorce/employment lawyer). Because it's also a really common accusation made by what we call difficult people. (We don't try and diagnose. I don't need labels. I need examples of specific actions.)
Well said. Same with HR. We need timelines too.
Thanks so much for this. I have a narcissistic in law and, having never dealt with a narcissistic person before, Dr. Ramani’s tips were invaluable!
Coming from a Chinese family but being born/raised in the west - yesssss our relationships with our fam definitely is very transactional in certain contexts. The traditional cultural expectation is that you look after your parents in old age (it's seen as uncaring to put your parents in a home) - and I'm definitely feeling that pressure/anxiety now that I'm approaching my 30s as the eldest AND being gay (less likely to have my own family to spend my money on)... Even subconsciously I'm not doing things I would probably want to (moving abroad etc. ) for fear of having to drop my life for my parents
This is so true also. I feel like my parents are mind blind and invalidating, sometimes I wonder about Narcissism because there was very little room to understand us and allow us to be us if we didn’t fit their mold. Little care for relationships and emotional life. Seemingly conditional love.
But yet they also gave us so much- their time, their money, their help- (probably in the ways they were raised to give)….
It’s confusing because you can take on characteristics and struggles of one who was raised by narcs, if you grow up in this country, from such families, and cannot live up to their hopes- or your own- especially because of ADD, High functioning autism and or other mental issues that are sort of denied as being real in such cultures and generations. Then you deal with guilt and questioning yourself…
Psychiatrists think you were raised by narcs, you wonder if you are one, or if it was cultural or both… then you wonder if it was your misunderstood neurodivergence or mood disorder, or you were spoiled by being first child- though somehow you know you were rarely spoiled or validated when it didn’t serve them…
Very confusing- I feel like I need carious barometers of my being in touch with reality, other people and making decisions now.
What is my ADD? What is learned helplessness? What is familial sabotage? Am I malingering? Am I trying to be an advocate for self and others like me and figure out how to understand my limits and capabilities and live in a healthy manner?
It’s so confusing and I wish I could be put to sleep and reset because I don’t even know what to do anymore… and I’m also suffering from super low energy, depression again, and now inability to exercise- which had been my savior all these years.
Is there a hope?
The narcissistic person in my life is obsessed with videos about narcissism (because she sees it in her own mother's behavior, not because she sees herself in the description).
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Yikes... sorry to hear that, people who lack self-awareness are the most difficult to deal with...
@@lalakuma9 ...ha, ha, ha, haaa... The _entire WORLD_ lacks self-awareness (under the right circumstances.) Does anyone remember what the articles of impeachment against Trump were? Isn't it amazing that even people who hated him forgot those?
It's illegal for people to use their public office for personal gain. Everyone pretended that they didn't hear that - for *two straight years!!* Okay, well technically more, because you're all doing it still.
My narc mom is OBSESSED with my money!!!
My parents were extremely financially abusive to me growing up. I was made to feel huge guilt over expenses I had no control over even though they had ample means.
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If you were spending your parents' money and not your own money that you actually worked for, then that is not financial abuse. Some people feel entitled to their parents' money. When you are spending someone else's money, they have every right to question you.
@@Unebellecreoleit sounds like they are talking about being a child and money their parents spent for typical living expenses to pay for that child. Children don’t usually have free access to parents’ money but many parents make children feel guilty because it costs money to feed, clothe, and house them.
Dr. Raman's advice is incredibly legally sound. I'm a lawyer and this is all music to my professional ears.
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I am married to a covert narcissist. I am bedridden, and for all practical purposes, I cannot leave. Luckily for me, it's my house, money and car etc. I just ignore him most of the time. He now admits he's a narc...but I know he will never change. I retired at 26, well before we met. I'm so glad I'm financially independent. I cannot ever imagine giving up my "independence"
Super helpful! I am dealing with a narcissistic elderly woman in my HOA. She is verbally abusive when she does not get her way, or you don't praise and admire everything she does, or if (as the president) I point out to her where she has violated HOA bylaws.
She also uses money to try to control the rest of us in the HOA (we are self managed) as well as the people she has work for her. She throws around how she can control her handyman and housekeeper bc she is the one paying them. Making comments on how her housekeeper went from being a college professor in Poland to cleaning her toilets in the USA. It's gross language to hear.
She has also thrown around money and talked about how she will just "pay for things herself" related to the HOA if we do not all agree with her. Despite needing full agreement to move forward with anything, as stated in the bylaws. Or she will just say she is paying as a way to have full control, even when the rest of us are in agreement and plan to have the HOA pay for an upgrade. She will talk about how none of us care about the building like her, so she will use her money and do it herself.
Needless to say, I stopped paying her any mind. And told her if she wants to pay for upgrades herself she can but she will still have to pay her HOA dues. Setting strong boundaries is hard, but has definitely helped. that and planning to leave ASAP.
What is HOA?
@@mrs95shenny HOA = homeowners association
I actually gasped!!! I love Dr Ramani! I Found her at a time when I really needed it! eye opening is an understatement, it was honestly a miracle I found her videos, and yours!!! you BOTH have helped me so much. THANK YOU! makes me so happy yous have made this video together.
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Thank you so much for this talk! As a daughter of a narcissistic mother who constantly demands to know my salary, how much I have saved and all other personal financial things, this has helped so much! Thank you! 🙏🏻
Yupm don't tell them. Even if your parents aren't narcissistic, say they are well meaning and loving 70% of the time, but they may be transphobic or on the fence about your gender transition, even if not outright hateful, I'm always reluctant to disclose how much I actually have because I worry that parents who disagree with the kind of future you want for yourself, will always figure out "something better" for you to spend your hard earned cash on, instead of your deepest desires. They might try to passive agressively derail you, with a "well intentioned" alternative. Same thing goes for stuff like what schools you want to go to, or what town you want to move away to. Any choice you decide FOR your OWN benefit, that doesn't involve them somehow, guard like Cerberus guards the sorcerer's stone. 😅
I kept my finances in my mothers waaaay too long. She convinced me because she was a teacher and could get a me a credit union account. (which is hard to get) neglected to tell me, that I didn't have to have her on the account. She would call me yelling about dog food purchases etc.
It is awful 😞 dealing with controlling people. I hope 🙏❤️you can find your way out from this situation. Never settle for less just to comfort someone selfishness.
Fortunately,I have been able to “cut the cord “ few months after I graduated from high school. But, as Dr. Ramani said “ the guilt trip “is going to haunt you for years, because in your heart you feel like you have to do something to change your mother. It’s emotionally exhausting every time speaking to these mothers, even if you are living thousands of miles away from them. But there’s nothing you can do, just to let them talk and talk, release their negativity from your mind. Lead your life on, believing in yourself and people who are supportive to you.
“There’s not a single narcissist in the world who would honour boundaries around money”
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My narcissistic sisters and brother decided to keep my part of the inheritance and acted as if nothing happened 14 months after my father's death. They decided that I'm already rich; therefore, only the three of them deserve to get the money. It's not about the money, it's the hurt that I felt because
they took what MY father left for ME. Actions are louder than words and their actions told me that I'm not worthy in their eyes. Their "secret" (found out that they mentioned, "don't tell Pam.") lasted 14 months as I was financially supporting my brother by the way. I could never, ever do that to them and I hope the money they took was worth losing me as a sister. I no longer support my brother financially, I've forgiven them, but I also told them what I found out and walked out on all of them. The weight on my shoulders have been lifted and I have never been so peaceful and happy in my life. Seven months later, I watched this vlog and I can tell you, it is true that the best thing to do when dealing with narcissists is to walk away and never look back. 🙂
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Sounds like you're well shot of them. I'm so, so sorry that happened, it sounds awful. My heart goes out to you.
So sorry your kindness to your siblings was repaid with such deceit and betrayal
I had a narcisisstic father, we stopped talking years ago. His relationship with my mother was financially abusive, but she could still divorce him (only after the squandered all of her family's savings), BUT what's worse, is that even if he left our house when I was 7, allthrought my teens and early twenties I acted like him to my mother. I would criticise how she spent her money, how she managed the household, eventhough I was financally depended on her. I never criticised him for not giving anything more than the bare minum. It was hard realising that I was recreating an abusive relationship whith my mother, who I love very much. Still, after understanding that our relationsip improved greatly, because I check myself twice when I feel the need to criticise to understand where those feeling come from.
I so hope you have sat down and apologised to your Mom AND built up a communication where she can tell you about how it affected her. Getting her real experience WILL help you with not judging others.
Great interview. My narc-trait parent withheld their EFC number so I could not complete my FAFSA and dropped out of college, which I wrote about on my personal blog. They can control finances indirectly it turns out, too.
As a parent, my heart bleeds for you. You should not have to deal with this. This isn't fair and you don't deserve this. That being said, it doesn't matter when or where you start college, how many times it takes you to start, really how much time it takes you to get through, only where you finish, what your degree is in and what your final grades were. When you are over 18, you can declare a sort of financial independence and go on with financial aid and grants from there. Your narc-trait parent wants you to believe that you cannot survive without them. This is not true. The farther away from that person you get, the healthier you will be and the more they will be diminished in your life. They know this, which is why they will fight you tooth and nail to keep you under their control for as long as possible. They know that there is a window for you to escape and they will do what they can to close that window. I expect that you know that they will use your other parent, your partner, children, siblings, nibling or other relatives and friends as a way to maintain control as well. Never give them that opportunity. I imagine that you know about building your own family of choice to find emotional support. You have a right to your own boundaries as well. Boundaries are kind. Boundaries are honest. Boundaries tell people who you are and what you will and will not accept. Your parents are your beginning. They are not your end or your destiny. This mom sends you lots of love. I have faith in you and I'm proud of you, sweetie!
@@tessat338 Thank you for your kind words. I really appreciate that. I'm considered independent by FAFSA now and will be going back to school on full grants this fall, so there is a happy ending. What you said about the farther away you get, the healthier you become is so true.
SAME!!! When I went off to college they refused to provide me with that info as well. I never thought about it that way before I just assumed they didn't want me to do well for myself. Prolly both.
The Narc mentality: "what's yours is mine and what's mine is mine!" :D
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Lol my parents my entire childhood
My ex husband used to say this as a "joke"
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If you have a narcissist at your place of work leave. From an employer point of view someone who is pushy, entitled, and willing to get as dirty as possible is an asset to their company. A narcissist boss is actually very easy to manipulate once you know how they work... and they are ALL the same.
My 2 favorite YT content creators!! Heart be still! and it did NOT disappoint!!! Fantastic episode Chelsea. Thank you Dr. Ramani for your forever valuable knowledge.
My guidance counselor in HS (who I very much loved) was going through a difficult divorce where her husband was going to end up with the majority of the saved finances/assets. I still remember her telling me, as a senior, that's it's very important for couples to have their own finances. She also told me that nobody would be able to take away the education I received, which still resonates with me.
Dr. Ramani is THE ultimate psychology storyteller, I could listen to her speak all day. Chelsea, I am so glad you're interviewing her. Thank you!
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There really are structures that keep narcissism dominant for men in financial situations. My mother always had her money separated from my father’s, and yet when she tried to sell stock a couple times the man on the phone would ask to speak to her husband. THEIR ACCOUNTS WERE SEPARATE.
This is very important. Sometimes for reasons that cannot be prevented (taking care of sick family members), partners may have to give up their own source of income and stay home. I'd like to see a video on how they can still try to be more or less independent (like having their own bank account, saving some money) . Please, a video on that'd be great.
Oh yes, my father used to threaten me with an itemized bill for raising me all the time when I was younger, until I told him that I didn’t ask to be born and therefore he can’t charge me for services I didn’t request and I can sue him for false billing if he tries to enforce it. He was aware of the legal requirements to provide for my basic necessities when he chose to raise me. He called me ungrateful, but never mentioned it again 🤷♀️
So evil and scary. I feel sorry for these people in a weird way, because they are terrified monsters….
But I feel worse for their victims, which are literally the children that Saturn ate (reference Goya painting)
How sick
Sending this to many of my chats and taking some info for a domestic violence & income inequality event I have coming up. Thank you, Dr. Ramani! And Chelsea, as usual, you ask the BEST questions!
This is EXTREMELY powerful and important information. I dealt with all of these issues in my 20's and I wish I had this advice. Excellent episode thank you!!!!
This was an amazing episode collaboration!! I love Dr Ramani! 💜Thank you for having her on. This is such an important topic!
Love Dr. Ramani, great video!
I remember when I was just 14 I started to do homeworks to have money, my father wanted to control absolutely everything. I remember finding 10 pesos, and expending at school on snacks, I got a memorable beating
How great TFD understands the emotional abuse connection to finance. This was such an educational snack. Thank you 😊!
I simply love Dr. Ramani. I could listen to her wisdom for days on end!
Love your hair, your outfit and your studio backdrop. And of course always love your show content.
omg thank you so much for this! especially the tips to handle an abusive person.
My two favoraite CZcamsrs getting together on this video! What a treat! Love Doctor Ramani, bought her book. She helped me ended a 7 year long abusive relationship.
OMG! So amazing to have you two here! Im so excited!!
Dr. Ramani should be the most popular psychologist on the planet. I think numbers should be checked. Dr. Ramani needs more credit.
Wow!! I never thought my two faves would collaborate 😻🙌🏽 I was in a relationship with a narcissist who controlled me in so many ways and money was at the top of the list!
I am so excited. 2 of my fav youtube channels together. So happy.
2 of my favorite people on CZcams!!! Best collab EVER! 🤩❤️🙏
Thank you SO much for this collab! My ex-husband (left around a year ago) was financially abusive. Thank goodness I did a prenup. SO much better off now away from him.
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This was incredibly interesting and valuable. Thank you !
I've been watching both TFD and Dr. Ramani on CZcams, and I love this crossover!
I am so excited to watch this after class! Dr. Ramani is absolutely amazing!
Kudos on the collab. Two of my faves creators!
Wow thank you Chelsea & Dr. Ramani this was such an insightful & important subject!
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I’m OBSESSED with the purple dress omg
The whole time she was talking about narcissists, and listing every possible bad characteristic, I kept thinking about The Former Guy, and how he went the extra mile to always provide fresh examples of Narcissistic behaviour.
My mum has PTSD, depression, anxiety and has just been recognised as autistic. I spent my whole childhood being told by my dad that “she means well” but quickly learnt that actually she doesn’t. She’s unstable, self absorbed and has poor social skills/no empathy but can’t see it. She has never been able to maintain friendships or keep a job, but is super intelligent. Iv accepted that she won’t change and iv put in boundaries, which she hates and tries to use rage or guilt to get her own way, so I now have cut her almost completely from my life and only interact with her on a superficial level. The world doesn’t understand why iv had to keep my mum away from me, lots of people think iv an ungrateful spoilt child, but my difficult and neglectful childhood has made me super independent, which ironically helped me form my boundaries and stand my ground against her and what others think. I am aware that I can be selfish tho, despite my efforts to be self aware and not turn into my mum… iv chosen so far not to have kids (I’m mid 30s) because I don’t want to do a bad job at it and regret having a child like my Mum did…
Thank you so much Dr. Ramani, Love your angle on Facebook, social media, and more. Absolutely.
I feel this so hard. I had a narc mom and Narc ex boyfriend. I am so grateful I got out at a low price tag. I am no contact with any of the previous narcs. I don’t miss them or their toxicity. Thank you for this content!
Now this is a collab I'm really excited to see. I'm a hug fan of Dr Ramani and this channel so win-win. Can't wait to hear to hear Dr Ramani's take on how narcissism affects society at large, people in the workplace, different cultures and different family settings.
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Thank you for this wonderful episode, Chelsea. It has been an absolute pleasure listening to you two -- a match made in heaven.
I had to drop a comment that Chelsea looks amazing in this purple, semi-structured but also flowy dress. 😍
Thanks for the great interview. Really loved it
CZcams titans! Love both of you!
Thank you so much for having Dr. Ramani on your show! I watch her CZcams videos regularly, I love her.
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Thank you for the video very informative. Also I love how your hair looks stunning. ✨
Gah my narc ex tried soo laughably hard to make me feel like a gold-digger -- even when I was paid more money and he was on my health insurance! What a loser. I feel like I'm remembering 30Rock's Liz Lemon dating Pager Guy whenever I remember dating him.
I got so excited when I saw this video! I follow you both individually! So excited to see collaborate!!
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So excited! Dr. Ramani’s channel changed my life
She helped me understand my childhood. I adore her!
This one is amazing! Shared on social media and followed Dr Ramani. Also, bookmarked.
Thanks for this conversation
Loved this interview! Helped put so many things in perspective in my life, and I hope to see another episode like this! I never noticed how much psychology can play into money on a personal level.
When I think about financial narcissism I think about Fyre Fest. When he spoke with investors, the creator insisted that he had everything covered and there was zero risk. I don't know a lot about hosting a music festival but I know that if someone says "nothing can go wrong" they either don't know what they're talking about or they are lying. It's shocking how many people bought into the blatant narcissism.
That movie is so fascinating as the child of a narcissist. So bizarre yet also familiar!
And it wasn't just rich people who bought into it. Sure, rich people were scammed - but there were also middle-class and lower-class people who bought or won tickets to it and they got seriously screwed over as well. As did the workers. In other words, folks who could not bounce back as easily as the rich people could. And this happens whenever narcissists scam each other - they scam other narcissists, and then they catch vulnerable people of all stripes in their net as well. Which is the sort of impact you get from the sorts of people who treat the world as dog-eat-dog (as all narcissists do), and never stop to think that no, dogs do NOT actually eat other dogs, nor should they. And that even if they did it wouldn't justify humans doing that to each other.
My mom gave me an itemized bill once 😂😂😂 I can’t believe I took her seriously. Wow thank you to her! She said that and I can’t believe that’s a thing!
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This is the collab CZcams didn’t know it needed! I love both of your channels! Dr. Ramani is a gem 💎. Ty!
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Hi, this is a great topic! My mother was a counsellor and majority of the people she counsel at church are marital issues stemming from money problems, these are well off people too! And I agree that narcissism is there.
Great collaboration! Thank you
I love Doctor Ramani! Her videos helped me leave a narcissistic relationship myself. So glad to see her on your channel. I’ve been truly enjoying your collaborations. It’s nice to see people I’m familiar with and the people I’m not familiar with, I’m always so glad I got to be introduced to them through your channel! Great video! 🙌🏾
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I can’t believe this was only an hour long. I feel like I’ve learned so much.
This was fantastic, thank you!
So glad to see Dr. Ramani on this channel☺️
Also, Chelsea’s outfit is bomb!😍
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The quality of these interviews 🔥🔥🔥
She’s saved me from a horrible relationship years ago. I think I owe her more than she can guess.
Dr Ramani is amazing! So great to see her on other channels, especially ones like yours, Chelsea. Thank you for this.
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I love Dr Ramani so much! Thank you both for this episode!
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Ooo, so glad I found this. Huge fan of Dr R.
I would love it if you had Shelbi (shelbizleee) on The Financial Confessions to talk about how sustainability relates to finances. I know she watches your show.
Amazing insights. Thank you so much!