Funny Amazon Reviews IV - Hell’s Pantry
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- čas přidán 8. 09. 2024
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Epic.
Simon pls read my comment
i heard sugar free gummy bears were laxatives
I #lovesquarespace
For blocking magic spoon.
Eta, just do it
@@ruanolwagen3411 Simon don’t read his comment. 😁
I read reviews for Albanese sugar free gummy bears years ago, which had the same general "demon bears" description. Being a man of science and a glutton for punishment, I had to see for myself (and gave some to my nephew so that I could be that much more sure that it was the bears that were wreaking havoc). I ended up crop dusting a busy chuck-e-cheeses with the worst gas of my life. My nephew spent half the time in the bathroom, and later sneezed and shat his pants. 5/5 would recommend.
aww treats to gift your enemies
Albanese are *chef's kiss*
😚🤌
I'll just stick to my one glass of milk a day😂
Sorry capsicum is face down in the soil with its back in the air with electric wire or was it a plastic bottle cover situation? You decide 😭😂
It's the sugar alcohols used as sweetener in them that causes gastro distress and even to point of I jury, damage and hospitalization
During the sugar free gummy bears reviews i was laughing so hard an ad came on that i had to let play so i could gain some composer. Just gold
like Bach
Ba dum Bump
I bought the sugar free gummy bears a few years ago after reading the hilarious reviews and ate myself right into trouble. 😂
People always freak out when they find out I use sugar free hard candies and xylitol in general...I have to explain to them I'm not gonna have diarrhea... I've been using sugar free items since I was 13...my body knows its limits...and also... I read the warnings so I knew not to eat an entire bag of something sugar free. But my reason for sugar free items is about dry mouth issues. People are just dumb and don't read labels, I don't feel bad for them.
Look up "LA Beast Sugar free gummybear" that poor guy 😂😂😂
Danny's Master Plan:
Strategically make the scripts longer over a period of months
Simon will spend more time on videos and make the same money
He will eventually go bankrupt due to loss of revenue
Simon will be forced to release Danny
Sell the last script of Business Blaze "Danny's Life Story" for a billion dollars and retire to a nicer basement in a mansion
Eat jellied eels to the end of time
It gives Danny, & Sam more time through he wall. That's the infidels digging that Simon references.
>eats sugar free gummy bears to get a free trip out of the basement to the hospital
Not allegedly. Possibly.
Edit: from,
Possibly.
To,
Probably
@@IlIlIlllIIlIllI Possibly an alleged legend.
but probably not.
When I lived in a shared flat one of the people I lived with used to randomly eat my stuff not so much a problem but very annoying, so one day I left a full bag of Haribo Sugar Free Gummy Bears on the side they spent 3 hours shitting I honestly thought they would crap out their organs somehow, they never touched my food again.
This story breathed life into this cold-infested near corpse body. Thank you.
Smart move.
That gave me a good laugh that I needed. That's certainly one way to stop a food thief.
I love that the introductions to these videos has become just Danny doing lore building for this world.
It's secretly a scavenger hunt, and we find out that Sam is actually Carmen San Diego. If you play the BB advertisements backwards skipping every third one, they give you GPS coordinates relative to Danny's discreet basement location.
It's the Blazing ARG. (alternate reality game, for the less initiated).
That yummy yum
We need a channel of just 20 min Danny intros, no content just intros.
It's how he keeps his sanity in the basement.
After nearly a year now watching this channel i just wanted to write a sincere thank you to all the people involved with Business Blaze.
The amount of laughs, interesting trivia, memes and inside jokes is just incredible. Everytime when a new video is uploaded, i will reserve a spot in the late evening just dedicated to watch the newest Business Blaze. Just the amount of banter between Simon, Danny and Sam (sometimes Peter the Plant and nearly a year ago ETA too) is a lot of fun to behold.
I hope that you continue to find interesting topics that are sometimes related to business, Danny continues to find neat ways to make those topics interesting and Sam to add some memes.
One final thank you to the boi with the blaze, the bloke with the typewriter and the man with the memes. Thank you all for making these weird times a bit more bearable. :-)
AMEN!
Simon is getting goofier with these extra channels. And it’s kinda nice to see 😛
Id like to see a visual podcast with Danny Sam and that other guy discussing these like Simon used to have... 😁😜. Those couple he posted long ago were so entertaining to me. Guess they didn't get many clicks.
I only started watching a month or so ago, and now I’m working my way through the backlog. This comment is still 100% accurate today
@@bayoubilly5176 I've never seen those, wasn't even aware they existed. Are they on the Brain Blaze channel? 🤔
Simon: Complains about script length.
Also Simon: Rants for 10 minutes about script length before starting.
And that's what we're here for.
#getDannyhotcoffee
you are now responsible for reduced watch time because someone clicked on the hashtag xd
What if we gave Simon those sugar free gummy bears just before he starts, so he has a sense of urgency to finish recording before his intestines run free
get danny dem gummy bears
I noticed in order to speak brittish yuu need to stretch every wor out compared to speakin American
A note for around 31:00: do NOT let dogs eat sugar-free candy - it can be *FATAL* to them, so keep them in the same regard as raisins and chocolate near dogs.
And onions
I agree with this. But know my dog is incredibly special.
Specifically xylitol, keep an eye out for that before giving anything to dogs, it’s found in some sugar free peanut butter too
Simon, I’m impressed that you know what a parsec is outside of the context of Star Wars.
I'd be impressed if he did know it from Star Wars
@@Alikaoz tho sadly he does not
Star wars doesn't know what a parsec is since it is a distance, not a time.
@@bartfoster1311 the reference is he did it by scooting too close to black holes which allowed him to shave distance off the run not time. Though time did get saved as well. Though this is a retcon I believe to make the dumb quote correct.
He only knows what a parsec is outside of star wars...
For April fools I would love to see Danny read a script written by Sam and edited by Simon. Bonus points if he reads it all while chained to a radiator
Not that you really wanted to know this, but badgers do smell. They are in the mustelidae group, which includes weasels and skunks, all of which are known for their odor. You're welcome. I'm sure this tidbit will be infinitely useful for you.
BONUS FACT!
The only badgers I have been that close to were dead and definitely had a smell!
Stinky badgers!
As for skunks, its possible to shoot them and not have them release the stench of hell on death but it is an extraordinarily hard shot to make. Basically you have to hit the brain spine connection joint perfectly, I have managed a few times but Im a damn great shot and still make sure Im up wind before the attempt.
The idea of “Not wanting to know something” is a foreign concept on this channel
I ate sugar free candy once, and all I could think was "now I am become death, the destroyer of worlds".
I ended up sitting on the toilet for two days, they make that stuff with sugar alcohols.
There's a reason you don't ever want to buy the _large_ bag of Russell Stover Sugar Free Chocolates. Keep it at the 3 oz size, and space them out over a few hours.
And yeah, stay off the sugar free gummies.
While I never had problems with sugar alcohols. It's like Taco Bell, IMO. The internet is just full of people that have severe digestive problems but think it's all normal.
Or toilets
Once I was sick and discovered how many sugarfree cough drops count as “excessive” in the context of “excessive consumption may have a laxative effect”
Danny could transcribe a 1986 phonebook for east London, and I would watch every minute of the 4 hour video it would result in.
I think you're gonna need more than 4 hours.
Danny could write a limerick and it would take Simon 4 hours to read it...
4 hours or 4 days?
Add in time for Simon's tangents and you might be looking at double that.
@@onemoreguyonline7878 4 days is more realistic.
5:10 - Chapter 1 - Tuscan milk
7:55 - Chapter 2 - Cheese
10:20 - Chapter 3 - Pizza pouch
13:40 - Mid roll ads
17:10 - Chapter 4 - Death cigarettes
19:45 - Chapter 5 - Death wish coffee
22:30 - Chapter 6 - Coffee cups
23:40 - Chapter 7 - Unicorn meat
26:10 - Chapter 8 - Harribo sugar free bears
32:00 - Chapter 9 - Yodelling pickle
It doesn't matter how funny other Amazon reviews are, Sugar Free Gummy Bears always have the best ones. Per usual, I laughed SO HARD!
Try reading the Nair or Nivia (I forget which) hair removal reviews.
Oh… The swat team review got me! I scream laughed so hard I had convulsions.
Omg - The gummy bears ones are hilarious! Sounds like prepping for a colonoscopy.
I love how the basement joke has taken on a life of its own, and is now part of Business Blaze canon
Did you model your look on Simon or did he copy you? 😂
@@DrT0705 well I have had this look for over 10 years now, so....🤷
@@1986krazy I reckon Simon was born looking like that, glasses and all, and he's in his 30s now, so....
@@DrT0705 I'm actually older than Simon, but I get your point haha
So… It*is*a joke. Good!
Simon: "I'm just disappointed in your life choices."
Me: Join the club buddy. 😂😂😂
For any aspiring youtubers, keep in mind, if you decide to keep your script writer chained to the heater in the basement, they're going to torture you with long scripts
You know despite his imprisonment, I think Danny's the one who holds all the power here.
Simon is helpless without his glorious scripts.
I love how adhd people are assumed to be on cocaine, it’s the best thing and i see so many adhd people like me who always have some running joke where they are “allegedly” on cocaine.
I'm happy to see this cuz I was just thinking "he seems so ADHD, I wonder if the cocaine thing is a joke or if it's both or what". cuz it's totally my business right (but I do wonder)
Agree especially without caffeine
And then we cancel the effects with amphetamines
Guys guys- he used the milk on his roof because it was "Hole" Milk.
Now youve spoiled the joke.i would have advised to steer away, but oh well. Still kinda amusing.im half n half laughing.....god these jokes curdle the blood. Even just skimming the tops rough....ok, ill stop before someone gets steamed.
@@blackc1479 sounds like somebody is crying over spilt milk. ;)
@@Orionthefree i dont have the ability to cry or be sad, guess i just lactose.
Don't mind me I'm just here to skim the comments. 👌
Genius
I missed like a week of the blaze and now there's an infidel meme?
I love this channel
The infidel thing is from quite some time ago when they were doing construction next door.
@@fatalgravity ah. I remember when they were trying to tunnel into the basement and release Danny, but don't remember infidels being a big thing. Maybe I just have a bad memory 🤷♀️
about silence infidels
Blaze got an upgrade.
Simon screaming "silence infidels" at the people doing construction next door was the start of an ep. from way back
Deathwish Coffee is actually really nostalgic to me. My aunt actually ran a cafe for a while that was the only place in our 2600 person town where you could buy it, and not only that, but she also sold homemade chocolate with the coffee mixed in. I ate a piece once, had a panic attack, and never touched it again. It was delicious, though. She also legitimately sold merch-- like, you could get Deathwish T-shirts and stuff from her.
I remember getting Death cigarettes in college at a local tobacco shop. Used to pair it with Black Death vodka, because I was too cool for school.
Black Death Filters. They tasted like Camel without the aftertaste.
They were a black pack with silver trim and a skull in a top hat, smoking.
I still have the box they came in, no more cigarettes but still have the pack
@@almitrahopkins1873 yep. I was so chuffed when they started carrying em locally. 👍
That's just toooo dope
I haven't thought about Death cigarettes in a very long time...the only place I could get them were at the tobacco shop in Harvard Square (Cambridge) Massachusetts. I remember them being $2 more than national brand smokes.
"Trip-sitter"
- A line only thrown out by someone that's needed one
Simon. If you hosted an online improv class series and group, i would totally buy in and join Danny, Sam, ETA, and the other one in the basement. Mushrooms are healthy vegetables and the iron from our rusted chains can be used to supplement our dietary needs while reducing costs for you.
Same!!! Then we can all plan our escape. Unfortunately ETA may end up as collateral damage, we might need to use all of its parts the facilitate our Breakout. I believe he would understand though it'll be for the greater good. And considering Simon doesn't watch TV he's never seen prison break so we can take clues from that show.
I misread the rust from your chains as rust from your chairs. I suppose the rusty chair would be healthier.
@@onemoreguyonline7878 then you can make a delicious stew with the wood from the seat.
@@LizRealGirlBeauty wood? I've heard of this natural plastic before. Normally Danny sends me recipes for paint chip nachos with pillow stuffing for the cheese
>Mushrooms are healthy vegetables
Biologists, convulsing on the floor: "Fungi... Seperate kingdom.. Not. Plants.. Chloroplatstssss.."
"Bloddy Hell Danny! You're going to make me be here forever! These videos are getting outrageously long!" And yet, here we are, listening to all 33 minutes of Simon reading Danny's script and Simon's glorious tangents.
"You look homeless."
Yes, that is where my beard is now and I need to trim it up!
My beard is past the point of looking homeless, and has now more or less become my home.
It’s me or the beard, don’t make me chose.
I find my beard to be a great place to find leftover snacks.
My husband started off as Mirror Universe Spock, has gone past Riker and is full on McCoy at the start of Star Trek The Motion Picture. Epic beard needs some epic oil.
I look like I belong somewhere hundred of miles down a dirt road in the middle of a forest up a mountain with the beard i have right now 😂
Ah yes, Sugar Free Gummy's, the "Tacoma Narrows Bridge" episode of Business Blaze has finally come out
Simon "Long videos don't do well. They cost more to write and they make the same amount of money."
Simon proceeds to release a new Business Blaze daily for over a week.
Viewers "Simon's got a lot of cocaine, coffee, Diet Coke and Magic Spoon in his office doesn't he?"
How can it cost more when Danny, & Same is in the basement? Working by the light of an old laptop, & getting the cheapest ramen noodles once a day is pretty cheap.
@@zeusathena26 they only get ramon on Christmas. Otherwise it's the cheapest slice of white bread with nothing on it, and they're grateful!
I can tell he's had a new batch of cinnamon delivered
I love it here
@@spruillcat me too, all my kindred spirits in one place!
One of my favorite sugar free gummy bears reviews involved a trip on a small airplane with a group of coworkers. I believe it didn’t have a full bathroom, more like a toilet hiding underneath one of the seats in the back of the plane.
YIKES 😳🤢🤮
You know things are going to get Blaze-tastic when the intro is starting with Simon laughing at people's pain.
Simon the Kessel run is a reference to Han Solo from Star Wars. Since I know you do not watch Star Wars, I will not bore you with any further details.
Next BB shirt idea: Show a picture of of a square wheel with text that says "Business Blaze, It's still a wheel!"
I would actually wear that
@@SomeHomestuck Then you have "Just a shitty one." on the back 😆
The sugar-free gummy bear reviews are hilarious. This channel is pure gold!
As far as Death Wish is concerned, it was literally the only thing I could taste when locked down with the 'Rona. Good stuff, lol
It tastes and smells of death . Coming out of one's own mouth . I had a pretty nasty case . It was the only smell left , tough smell I guess .
@@texasslingleadsomtingwong8751 you know it.
This whole video made me laugh so hard I was crying. And thanks a lot man, I lost my voice yesterday, so I sounded like a dying unicorn choking on sugar free gummy bears.
"Why doesn't the American government just ban cigarettes?"
- Researches how Prohibition led to bootlegging, which led to an explosion of organized crime that persists to this day and spurred Prohibition's repeal
"Ohhhhhh"
(And the money thing is also true.)
It's also a violation of civil rights I'm pretty sure. Only dictators ban smoking like that
@@jordanhicks5131 Prohibition came about via a constitutional amendment, following multiple states voting to approve referenda in favor of banning alcohol. There are still counties that individually ban alcohol sales, including the county where Jim Beam is made.
States could undoubtedly pass legislation to ban tobacco if there was voter support for it. Obviously, there isn't and likely never will be.
@@jordanhicks5131 history proves it doesnt work.
@@jordanhicks5131 meanwhile its ban to adults until age 21.
Today started with mirth and I was actually crying with laughter at more than one point. You guys fookin rock!
Thank you for not knowing what the Kessel run is, Simon. I'm 67 and feel increasingly disconnected from pop culture. Your disconnection from it makes me feel less lonely. Love the beard oil, by the way. I've gone full Santa Claus during the pandemic, and it really helps.
It's a Star Wars thing. One of the characters, the cocky spaceship captain, was spouting technobabble to impress the farm kid and old space wizard. The space wizard was unimpressed.
To be fair, the Kessel run was originally mentioned in Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope. It came out in 1977, when you were a wee laddie of 23!
If a "lifetime supply" of Death cigarettes isn't just 1, then I'm not mad, just very disappointed.
Simon, the boys still haven't finished off the 17 cases of Heineken you gave Danny for Christmas.
While skimming through the mass of daily Simontube, my eyes gaze upon the comments. I am happy to announce the Blaze is mentioned in some form or another a lot. A LOT. Blaze legends are slowly seeping into your 'more professional' Channels and I Love it.
We ar leigion...Apparently
True! And quite frankly one of the top 10 characters of Red Dwarf. Do an episode on that Factboi!
Everyone: so where do you keep Danny and Sam?
Simon: In the depths of my Tartarus.
That B.O. mixed with pizza scent odor your imagining is EXCACTLY what the kitchen your pizza is made in smells like, trust me 😂
Especially in the summer months!
"But you are eating, boys! You're just chained to a radiator! It's not like I don't turn it on--wait, *do* I turn it on?!"
That look of genuine horror on Simon's face is what frickin' sold it 😂
I’ve watched Simon on like 3 different channels, and I really do like all the content. But really seeing his personality in these videos makes all the other channels better.
Danny if you can just get me the address I'll start having Uber Eats delivered to you and Sam. I'll be sure they hold the beard oil.
I'm starting to think that it's actually Simon locked in the basement and forced to make videos.
What a plot twist this would be 😂
Simon is locked in a basement. He got caught trying to burrow out and said the "new basement" was for his next writer... who happened to be Danny. Now Simon understands why he's not allowed to leave, and he takes it out on Danny
Allegedly.
The audio/video desync is just Sam trying to get out a message that they’re suffering in the basement, and need help.
If you pay close attention, it's Morse code for the address of Simon's basement.
Allegedly.
I'm actually in the comments right now to see if anybody else saw the audio sync mess up or if it was just because I'm really high right now
@@specteractual1 Why not both?
Yay, it is not only me who noticed it! (desync)
The way he never figured out why one would use 'hole' milk to patch the roof.
One of the oldest dad jokes in the book. 😆 gold
To took the panhandling money though didn't you ... you legend!
"...you Have heating...You're chained to radiators."
"Where are you getting beer? I just give you Everclear." Lolol
I love when he reacted to the Erma Guard gummiest review as if that is a real person! As if someone named their kid OMG.
I've read some sugar-free gummy bear reviews in the past, but this still had me crying.
We also need the nair wax men's edition. When Brussels sprouts comes into it.
23:45 - does that say the Unicorn meat is "product of Ireland"? 😂
The Amazon review of the sugar-free gummy bears about the person who was boarding a plane is absolutely hilarious if you haven't seen it.
Danny is doing a great service of catching all new watchers up with the inside jokes! Thank you, Danny!
As a nurse on a busy surgical recovery floor, I often see treats sent in by former patients. One patient brought in a giant bowl of sugar free jelly beans. As this was not a home baked treat and thus subject to immediate disposal, all staff (and surgeons) grabbed handfuls as they passed the bowl. Needless to say, the two staff bathrooms were in full use the remainder of the day. It sounded like a third rate horror movie sound track screaming out of each bathroom.
The sugar free gummi bears would have probably been a better choice for my pre colonoscopy prep than the stuff the pharmacy gave me.
Only if you were to eat the clear ones, because the others got dark dye. Those red gummies could give you a false positive for bleeding and stuff. 🤔
@@zetharerey3761 That's actually true. I did have to stop eating stuff that had red in it for a few days beforehand
That person who tricked their candy-stealing coworkers into eating the sugar free gummy bears; LEGEND!
Simon: “what is the Kessel Run and what is a Parsec” 🤦♀️ So sad
Unfortunately that’s one of the few things that Star Wars (r) was wrong about. Han keeps saying that he did the Kessel run in under 12 parsecs when a) a parsec is distance not time and b)a parsec is based on “au” which is a Sol system based measurement. ie, a parsec is not relevant in that “far away” galaxy. 😬
@@maconp1119 I totally agree that George Lucas made a mistake when writing that, but there is a canonical reason he came up with (in my opinion, afterwards) to explain it.
Basically the Kessel Run is a course that goes around a series of black holes. To go faster on a racetrack, ideally you want to be on the inside of the track of course (so in the case of the Kessel Run, *closer* to the black holes), because you’ll have less ground to cover. So basically Han saying that he ran the Kessel Run in 12 parsecs is him bragging that he got so close to the black holes that for him, the distance he flew was only 12 parsecs.
edit: doesn’t explain the fact that parsecs are irrelevant to them though haha
Oh my God!! I listened to this after work and I have to say this was the most AWESOME business blaze episode EVER!!! I had to wait ten minutes to even be able to get out of my car because I was laughing soooooooo hard!!! PRICELESS!!! Money cannot buy the joy Simon, Danny, and Sam can bring a person after a shit day at work!!!!!!!
Pro tip: listen to these while high as a kite. They are 10 times funnier.
Hold the line Simon! A long beard confers wisdom upon its owner.
And can save tasty snacks for later...piss on the pizza slice thing. I heard zz top sometimes carry a whole rack of ribs on em.
Those gummi bear reviews were Legendary! 😂
We need the way back when machine to record some of them.
I never get tired of hearing of the SF gummy bears.
My favorite is the airport TSA one.
Danny's intros + Simon's rants = business blaze! "AM I RIGHT PETER?!?!"
I had a cup of death wish coffee this morning. We have it in our grocery stores. It's yummy
I have had the sugar free bear review saved on my phone for a few years. It never gets old and is always great for laughing so hard your stomach hurts
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13:16 you seemed genuinely offended and had me in tears lmao
This is what I watch for! Some episodes, I just can't breath for minutes on end from laughing 😂
Damn it he's right I do slam beers...
I'm so glad you are covering this, there are some people that don't understand the sarcasm of the reviews and instead take them seriously. Bad Reviews are some of my favorite type of videos.
And to think Danny didn't even look up the reviews of erotic toys.....
That's part 5
Ooooohhhhh yeahhhhhhh. Bow chicka wow wow
That's for when they get to part 69...I'll see myself out
Excuse me, while I go, read some stuff on Amazon… 😂 🤣
2:03 That Prince of Persia bit gave me the best laugh! 🤣
Simon is the only person I can think of who makes ad reads actually entertaining. Also, he makes me want to buy things I honestly don't need. Right now, I'm feeling guilty for not needing a webpage. (Give it time. Thanks to him, I have a VPN I really didn't need, or think I wanted.)
Simon: "Why don't they just ban it?!" Me: The government banning something people want to consume? Yeah, that'd work well. It's worked great for the drug war" It wouldn't work, there would be yet another Black market for it. Instead, you want to educate. And that's precisely what those pictures do.
Yep! This happened last year in South Africa when cigarettes and vapes were banned for months during lockdown. The black market flourished. My straight laced mother had to meet with dodgy drug dealers to buy cigarettes at 10x the price. Great idea, guys.
They also made alcohol illegal, so everyone bought pineapples and fermented them to make pineapple beer
You just described why prohibition failed. All it did was make Al Capone rich and powerful, and led to NASCAR.
Edit: Spelling.
Yep- there is still a flourishing greyish market that happens here whenever a state hikes up the Sin tax on cigarettes. Basically everyone crosses state lines, buys in bulk at the lower price, and then crosses back over state lines to sell to people they know at a mark up higher than what they paid but lower than the current price in that particular state.
@Zid Bits The government banning alcohol gave us the mafia and NASCAR. Let people legally smoke. I shudder to think of the repercussions of making it illegal.
The best part of my nearly two decades in Amazon Customer Service was the 8 years moderating the Reviews section. A laugh a minute.
Crap! I'm old enough that people at that new Amazon thingy have been there 20 years.
Thank you for your service. When I was deployed we couldn't get much on our craptastic internet so if read Amazon reviews for a laugh because they loaded so quickly lol. Your work was critical to my sanity. Thank you.
@@andiward7068 Amazon was launched in 1994 mate. It's nearly 30 years old.
Ooooh, when Simon got to that part about the gummy bears I just absolutely lost it with each joke flowing into the next I nearly died.
For a few short moments I saw the glorious halls of Valhalla, before regaining my breath & falling back into this hel hole we call humanity.
Yeah, your ad reads may be 5 minutes long, but they're the only ads on CZcams that I DON'T automatically start skipping through!
Same here, they're entertaining me enough that I don't skip and I didn't even realize until I read your comment just now 🤔
Almost had tears running down my leg, laughing at the Gummy Bears segment, it just goes to prove that my sense of humour is still that of a 12 year old, thank you so much!
We never grow up only grow older 😂
“The entire complex smelled like hopes and dreams quote made me laugh so hard I was screaming!
Danny's Sass is Legendary.
But it's not Southern sass, that's a whole different style all it's own well versed in it
The absolute best reviews are the ones for the sugar-free gummy bears! Rock on!
Shitting your inside out is definitely a relationship building experience. Once had a Mexican meal with a applicant for boyfriend status. We both ended up with food poisoning... At the same time we wanted to go to my place for "coffee" let's just say we didn't. We employed the one toilet emergency settings in which one goes on the toilet and the other is laying on the floor in front of the door praying to all gods to hold it together long enough. We thankful lost the sense of smell after an hour. We made it through and stayed together for 3 years
I'm probably going to buy Deathwish Coffee after watching this. Those were fantastic, hilarious reviews! Thank you Simon!
I thought sugar alcohol was called "rum"
Allegedly
Thought I was gonna die laughing at those sugar-free gummy bear reviews
I spent a while reading through those gummy bear reviews back when they first began and could hardly breathe quite often from laughing.
Sugar-free gummy bears. The perfect payback for co-workers who steal your stuff from the communal fridge. "Simon's: do not touch!!"
That's the funniest Blaze I've ever seen! LEGENDARY! We are not worthy!
12:06 it's bad when you stink so bad you can't smell yourself, but it's worse when you've been camping long enough that you start to smell yourself again
I used to blaze on my lunch break, but I can't now that they're longer than 20 minutes.
You need a longer lunch break... Just a thought
Seeing Simon just laugh hysterically at people going thru gastrointestinal hell is the highlight of my day!
Coffee seller, I'm going into business battle, and I require your Strongest Coffee.
Simon: Unicorns are not real!!
Every Scottish Person: Of course they are it's our country's official animal
Good thing he isnt living in the US,
the cellar joke might be difficult to explain to the swat team
;p
The Gummy Bear read was the funniest thing I’ve ever heard 🤣🤣🤣
New business blaze 6 days in a row?? Sign me up. Blaze on simon!
Blaze the fields
@@cornbreadfedkirkpatrick9647 the sun will never set on Simon's fiery empire