Need Help Honoring And Obeying Your Parents?
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- čas přidán 5. 02. 2023
- In Ephesians 6:1, children are commanded to obey their parents. Does this command persist into adulthood? What is the right way for adult children to honor their parents? Todd discusses this relevant issue in today's clip.
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Wretched TV and Radio are hosted by Todd Friel. On the show, you will see and hear live witnessing encounters, discussions of tough theological issues, and Christian commentary on current events. We might even make you laugh.
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If you have high narcissistic parents that are set out to destroy you, God can give you the opening to walk away without hate or anger. He did that for me. I realize now that my relationship with God and my marriage is much more important. I can still show respect to my mother without staying around to be abused.
Good on your for realizing that my friend 👍
That's exactly what happened to me. I tried everything, and simply said, "I must now depart from you for righteousness' sake."
How did you do this? Please do tell.
this parent sounds very normal, not toxic at all...I would really appreciate one about parents who were actually abusive or negligent
That skit made me laugh so hard. He should praise God that he doesn’t know what it’s like, cause clearly he doesn’t. He should be talking to the parents & tell them not to abuse their kids
I agree. I won't say who for privacy reasons, but I personally know a woman who was raped by her own father. I wonder, exactly, how does one honor THAT?
@@triplejmom7826 Well, the other part of that Scripture that he neglected to share is "provoke not your children to wrath" but then we don't really have instructions on what happens when they do or when they think they are your God and they are soverign like God without them ever submitting themselves to God.
No. Absolutely just no. I get that you are giving generic parent-child advice but this is not a toxic relationship you’ve demonstrated. Emotional abuse is toxic. And there is NO scripture that says to stick it out with a non believer (or even professing) who constantly seeks to hurt you. I also believe that this scripture is quite literally applying to CHILDREN. As an adult there is no capacity logically where obeying your parent is called for. Respect/honor is good but if you are in a domestic abuse situation you absolutely should cut ties, do NOT seek to go back if it isn’t safe to do so.
Good grief, this kind of generic advice could really hurt someone. And how about if a married (with their own children) couple is temporarily rooming with a parent?
Should they totally obey that parent, allowing that parent to be the headship of their family? An emotionally abusive, drug addicted pseudo-believing parent?
HARD NO. I realize YES this is a situation one should get out of ASAP (working on it!) but if you’re trapped for the time being… if escaping is delayed or impossible…
Just no. I wish there was a stronger word for NO in English.
This is not biblical - to submit your family to torture.
Live at peace as much as it depends on you, realize where your true loyalties lie, and pick up the pieces of you there are left and escape.
@@DonicaTibbetts agree 💯 Jesus never defended those who abused. He called them out. That’s one reason why the Pharisees hated Him so much. He also spoke yo Zacheus (forget spelling) & afterwards he stopped financially abusing people & worked hard on undoing the damage he’d done. Jesus also protected the Woman from stoning. There are number outs examples of this. I hate that Todd’s making it the abused child’s responsibility to fix the relationship; when it should be the parents job. They’re the ones who need to be spoken to & told to stop. Abusers should never be protected or defended & the abused should never be made to suffer
My mother just passed at 97. I know this, we don’t honor our parents until they die, we honor them until we die.
Whoa... never thought about it like that! I like that.
Excellent!
“Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.”
Colossians 3:21
hey what happened to your channel?!
@@Vitamortis. Hey, brother. Long story short, it became too consuming and was taking much of my time away from my family and also local church groups that I teach. After much prayer and with the support of my wife, I decided to step away from the FoMM channel. I hope to be able to contribute Biblically themed videos via this channel, Fisher Priceless Homestead, when I am able. Hope you are doing well, my friend!
@@FisherPriceless I respect that. Keep the important things first. Your videos were a blessing to me. I'll try to make sure I check up on this channel fairly often. God bless you!
This is an extremely important verse!!!!! Every parent who ever recites "honor your father and mother" as a trump card needs to have this verse said to them twice over for every time they feel haughty.
As a parent you are a protector, not a god.
Likewise, every husband who says a wife must submit to him must read Ephesians 5:25 twice over for himself as well. Men are supposed to love their wives "as Christ loved his church, GIVING HIS LIFE for it."
Every privilege given to us in Christianity comes with 20x more responsibility. "The merciful will be shown mercy."
Yes parents should abide by this verse, but this video isn't for parents it's for children. We each give an account of our own actions. Telling God you didn't honor your parents because they provoked you isn't going to work. You would be held to account for not honoring them. They would be held to account for provoking you. Stop this line of thinking where you only do what you should if others do what they should.
My mother passed away last year at the age of 99. I always tried to honor her. I asked if she loved Jesus and she said yes. We prayed together and later she said “ you have been a good son” What else could anyone ask for in life?
I swear the worst ones live 30 years longer than normies
I've been waiting for a teaching on this. How to honor a mother who was narcissistic, very abusive, always setting me up to fail. I have wondered how to honor her without covering up the truth of the damage that she did. And, Jesus healed my heart in older age. I
There is a youtuber called “the royal we” he talks about this very thing with narcissistic parents & honoring them. I hope you find his channel enlightening. 🙏🏼❤️🩹
So sorry for your suffering my friend... I have an abusive father as well. It's actually fairly simple. You cannot lie about what they've done to you or how horrible they make you feel, but you help them out if they are in need and wish the best for them.
Kids should respect their parents, but respect is also earned. We ought to love everyone, but not submit ourselves helplessly to them lest we be made to suffer unnecessarily.
This is not it. He is not representing any sort of toxic relationship here. I have a narcissistic parent, sister and brother in law. Actively trying to destroy my family. There is no things in this video that apply to that situation. Also how can you prove from this text that an adult child should still OBEY their parent? Absurd.
@@DonicaTibbetts Yeah, I hadn't watched the vid yet before making my comment. I don't think someone who has not experienced a narcissistic parent can really understand the damage that these people do. I'm sorry you're going through it.
hello my friend the thing the Lord calls us to do is good actions of Goodwill towards those who would be counted as our enemies or those who would do damage to us we're not called to try and become their best buddies but to feed them if they were needing that per Romans 12 it says in Colossians, Fathers, do not aggravate your children, or they will become discouraged. God is not okay with disrespect offensive presuppositions insults insulting assumptions and the outright bad treatment many people will do without batting an eye.
I honor my parents and grandparents, even though they are all long gone. It is not hard because they were all honorable. For this I am eternally grateful.
man, I had an argument with my mom this morning and this popped up. greatly needed
Todd... You need to follow up on this, in honoring toxic parents (or not)
TOTALLY AGREE!!!
Or what exactly that means. Also counting in the greatest two commandments. Not everything is only about Profiting the Patents, we have to Take Gods full Word.
So thankful to have been blessed with a Godly mother and Godly in-laws. It is even more motivation to make sure that I am the kind of parent with whom the Lord Jesus will be pleased.
My Jehovah's witness parents shunned me when I left the religion around 6 years ago. All 3 adult siblings too. They won't speak to me and even told me I'm not their daughter anymore. I love and forgive them but I can't just call them up. It's not possible because they refuse to have anything to do with me. I'm honoring them now by respecting their wishes to cut ties and that's all I can really do. I will never stop praying for them though. I wish family relationships were as easy as taking car advice from my Dad.
I usually agree with Todd Friel on quite a bit but I do disagree with this video. We are told in the Bible to cleave to our spouse. Also parents are not to provoke their children anger. To say that someone, even into adulthood, has to keep in contact with someone that is toxic and possibly abusive merely because they gave birth to them is wrong. You can honor the Lord and even your biological parents and still cut off contact especially when that relationship can hurt your new family which is the most important one once you are married. Parents have a responsibility to not make their adult children miserable and suffer under manipulation and again possible abuse. I do not see anywhere in Scripture where you are told that once you have a family of your own that you are still required to have contact with family that is harmful in your life.
Totally agree with you!
@@alisaborden7816 Thank you! I appreciate it :).
Completely agree as well. I feel like you wrote what were my thoughts! Toxic mom, here.
@@christophersparkman Thank you!
Agreed with you a hundred percent. Going through this with my mom.
"No, I'm not the wizard of Oz."
Thanks Todd. We've all been wondering. :)
My relationship with my parents is complicated. It is has been a source of tremendous pain for many years and I pray constantly for the Lord to work to restore it, as my efforts have not helped.
I love and honor them for who they are, pray blessings over them, harbor no animosity towards them, and would be there right away if they fell ill and needed help, but right now it's not healthy for me to have regular contact with them, especially my father.
As a Christian parent, I appreciate the much needed emphasis on obeying and respecting parents. We live in a culture where parents are routinely treated w scorn and abuse by teens and young adults. Two of my adult children have moved across country and have not even supplied me with phone numbers or addresses. I have a grandchild I haven’t seen in years.
spoke
As the daughter of an abusive father who spent years in a mental hospital, I can also appreciate your advise. I made every effort to honor my father. I cared for him in my home when he was ill. I answered his phone calls even tho they were inconvenient. I never spoke disparagingly
Thank you Todd for this video. I will rewatch it and try to absorb His wisdom. That said, and I mean this politely, one size does not fit all. For those of us who lived through an awful childhood with an abusive parent, I’ve long pondered what the Father desires me to do. The fix is not that easy. God bless you Sir and please keep the videos coming.
Hi David, that is certainly true! One approach may not fit all families, but hopefully this video lays out some principles that will be a good place to start. Thanks for watching!
- Ethan from Wretched
Let’s remember the Principles and get out of the weeds…. God’s principles make for sound advice.
So can one honor their mother and father but not have a relationship with them?
I think a relationships goes two ways - you can't Talk to somebody If they don't Talk to you for example. But honoring is not bound to what the other one does, but can be a struggle (or virtually Impossible by the flesh, See Pauls struggle with the flesh) Like a Lot of Things we are commanded to do. In my opinion, honoring means valueing the Things you were given (even when they may they be the tinyest in comparison to what maybe was withhold to you or done to you in Bad ways) and trying your best to do deeds of Love to them, even If they did Not Show These deeds to you. As with all our Christian Life, we wont do it perfect, but should still aim to let the Holy Spirit Change us.
But it also depends on situations. If an abusive parent now is abusing their grandchildren, the child of Said parent, as responsible for the children, Has to consider that. It does Not mean going the easiest Route though (Children can Not cope with harmful behaviour as easy as adults)
Yes. You can keep your distance & be respectful. Especially if you have kids. Your job is to protect them.
You can. This liar just won't admit it.
@@queenterraofarchrist344 liar is strong. By the skit it’s clear he’s clueless & ignorant on this topic. A sad truth among most Christians 😢
First!!! 💔 A piece for you too!
Love you Mr Mr Todd.
Jesus is Alive!!!
⛪️💕🏃♂️💨🌍
You didn’t answer you’re own question . What do you do if you’re mom or dad’s a narcissist ? How do you handle toxic parents ?
Culturally and unfortunately adult kids are cutting off “toxic parents”, when the parents are kind, loving and Christian parents. Toxic is now being defined as things like “my parents are overprotective and controlling” when the parents are simply trying to give helpful life advice occasionally. It really is sad for parents who no longer see their children that they put their heart into raising and may never see their grandchildren. It’s a serious problem.
I moved back home several times when I was in my 20's. I *so* wish I could go back and do things differently in a way that was utterly and totally honoring. I was loving, and was not a total pain to them, but there are things I would definitely do different.
This is encouraging for me. I got married young and struggled with honoring my parents. (Again not wrong, but when you get married there are boundaries that should be present) I listened to everything they did and in turn almost lost my relationship with them and my husband. After learning in scripture that it’s ok to leave your parents and cleave to your spouse, I have a better relationship and learned to say no respectfully. Still nerve racking for me to say no to my parents sometimes, but even they encourage me that I am still respectful for a no answer.
Did I miss the part about a toxic parent?
Same man. That sounds like a pretty great dad to me. Loved the video for clarity on the difference in obeying and honoring, but missed the mark on toxicity.
@@ashleyshannon253 so did Todd. Clearly he knows nothing on the topic 😢
This is something I've struggled with for a very long time. My mother is severely mentally ill and has no understanding that her physical abuse to me growing up and neglect was not okay. She acts as if she doesn't remember and is highly unstable. I mean that with all seriousness. It's to the point I no longer feel any affection for her whatsoever. I have, however deeply love my mother in law. She is severally mentally disabled with age (nearly 60) and has early Louie body dementia. She can be difficult to be around in the evenings, but is otherwise very kind, gentle and loving. A deeply kind and self sacrificing woman. My question is, how do I honor a woman who I fear will abuse my children physically (slapping, throwing to the ground etc.) I have kept my distance to protect my kids. She also is very unrepentant and unsaved.
That's a very tough situation. I pray for God to help you to apply his word in this situation properly. May God bless you with wisdom and guidance.
Sounds like we are in the same boat. My sister has two children and though she brings them around our mother so they can know their grandmother, she will never leave them alone with our mother. Our mother was physically abusive to all her children (including a disabled child), yet justifies her actions with bible verses and insists we all deserved everything. Now that we are all adults, she is verbally abusive and completely unrepentant (to the point of yelling at the pastor).
I don't neccessarily think honoring has to mean keeping in Touch when it Harms Others you have responsibility for. But If it was that she Came to need something, Like health Services, food etc., I think that is where we are still called to Honor by providing them.
You are under no biblical obligation to give her access to your children. Unburden yourself of any notion you must allow your children into harm to properly honor your mother. I think what you have been doing so far is in keeping with honoring your mother while prioritizing your children's safety. Keep in contact with her, but out of range from her abuse.
So sorry for all your struggling my friend...
Honestly, it would be best to keep your kids away from them. Honoring someone does not mean letting them do whatever they want to you unecessarily. If they are literally hurting your kids, you should not let them see them, at least when they are acting badly.
But as the good Christian should, it is good to help them if they need it and to wish the best for them. You can help people and care about them without compromising your own health and safety. It honestly sounds like both those relatives need focused medical aid.
What of they left when you were 15 and thought two phone calls a month and five 3 day visits were good enough for 20 years?
I currently live with my dad and it is ROUGH living with him. He calls himself a believer but his actions are far from it. I try to talk to him about the Bible, trying to "re-teach" him in a sense, but I've been threatened to be kicked out on several occasions. So I don't really talk to him like that like I use to. I do my best to honor him, but it's hard when you have a parent who has a problem with just about everything you do, especially now that I follow God's word. 😕😩
So sorry for you my friend... That doesn't make any sense on his part. Why call himself Christian if he isn't going to follow any of their teachings lol? A lack of humility and submission to God there.
As I've learned with my harsh father who also claims to be Christian but acts the opposite, help him when he needs help and wish the best for him, but do not let him hurt you unnecessarily. Honoring someone does not mean letting them walk all over you. It is okay to walk away from someone who is hurting you and not making sense. The good leader accepts and invites criticism in order to become better. As kids are called to honor their parents, parents are also commanded to not discourage their children in Colossians 3:22. Family is a two-way street! (Same goes for husbands and wives in Ephesians 5:25.)
Same with my mom. I ended up moving out. She still calls herself a believer but is definitely not one by her actions and character. However I do continously share the gospel and talk about obedience in following Christ. Moving out is what was necessary for me. It helped me honor her more since I wasn't at home witnessing her behavior, I was able to take a step back and also take a break. Our relationship is much better now.
@@InDirectDiana God bless my friend. My bf and I plan to get married later on this year and we plan on moving out and getting a place together. Unfortunately he's dealing with the same thing too 😕. All I can do is love my folks from afar at this point. 🤷🏽♀️ It is what it is.
@@sandstorm7768 It's not as uncommon as you think. There are currently millions of ppl who refuse to do what the Bible requires of them, even though they pay a lot of lip service about them being a Christian and how much they supposedly believe in the authority of scripture. The fact that Catholicism and Protestantism look absolutely nothing like the 1st century church proves it.
Nope, sorry, this one I disagree. I have boundaries up for my safety. He abused his children and wife for 19 years. The church that we attended would shame my mom into staying. "Oh y'all, just need counseling." My mom would be the one in counseling while he refused to go. She finally, after her last near death experience, decided to go against what the church said and left. The verbal and mental abuse would continue even after I was married and 6hrs away from him. I have boundaries with him. He gets what I'm comfortable giving in the moment. Because I know his narcissistic ways and nothing, he says, is without a manipulation.
Edit to add: Your example of a toxic parent is a joke to those of us who have really suffered by the hands of parents. This thinking is what kept my mom in the abuse for so long.
Yes 100%!!!
Agree 100.
I'm so sorry you and your mother had to endure that. You are correct about everything you stated. I think you are handling your situation correctly and biblically.
@charlibrown7745 Thank you. I wish that was the issue. I walked into my dad on top of my mom and 🔪 to her throat. Or the time he punched our glass dining table, shattering it. Or the time he was so pissed he literally ripped our brand new Easter outfits my grandma just bought us. Oddly enough, the following Sundays, he was worshipping God like he hadn't been terrorizing his whole family the whole week. So I wish it was just a respect and consider his opinion on a vehicle.
@@m30wn3ss I’m sorry you experienced that. He sounds like a narcissist. Prayers to you
My dad's father beat him like a man at 5 years old and my uncle said from that day on my dad was never the same. Everyone knew he was broken and they left me with him. He started abusing me at a very young age too. Where the Spirit of the Lord is there is freedom. There is no freedom in silence when this is allowed to grow and yes, they all professed to be Chirsitans.
This video doesn’t actually address how to deal with *toxic* parents. As someone with a mom who tried to sow division between me and my wife, who manipulated people, turned a pastor against me without cause, and many other things, when you’re dealing with a genuinely toxic parent, sometimes the loving and honoring thing to do is not enable their sin and to get out of that relationship.
Sorry Todd
I made the mistake of taking my parents advice far too often (they were pushy as heck too). When my fiancée got cancer my was adamant my fiancée was faking to speed things up.
6 months later she was dead and the days before my mom held firm my now dead ex was faking.
There’s limits …I went to the extreme following honor and obey my whole life frankly.
People don't cut off family members for the level of toxicity displayed here, unless they are toxic themselves. Sadly, this video isn't going to help very many people. The word toxic has become a buzzword but for the most part, when people are describing toxic family members, it's way more extreme than this. It's literal abuse. The type of abuse does not matter. It all has extremely damaging effects on the person receiving it. Especially if it starts in early childhood. And we, the church, are doing the survivors of abuse a great disservice by speaking of it so lightly
Yes I completely agree.
TOTALLY AGREE!!! I believe the key reason the church falls so short ministering to those who grew up in abusive homes is because people from non-abusive homes can't begin to fathom what some people have endured . . . and still endure when they remain in contact.
@@jeanag3279 Yes 100% and not all abuse is visible from the outside. Videos like this can be so damaging because someone might be worried that now they are dishonoring God and might go back into a very unhealthy or dangerous situation. The Church needs to not make laws that God didn't make.
@@MM-wf8tc TOTALLY AGREE!!!
Well said
When I was 17, just out of high school, I asked my dad about education advice after he went with me on a tour of the facility I was considering. He told he wasn't going to give me his opinion. If I succeeded it was on me, and if I failed it was on me. He was not going to have me potentially blame him if things didn't work out because he gave me advice on the matter.
smh....I get what you feel.
Wow. Sorry.
@@triplejmom7826In retrospect I'm glad he did that. I was an adult and needed to stand on my own.
@@2anonymous are you? Him giving you advice has nothing to do with you succeeding or not whether or not you took it. There could have been a discussion. My sister went back to college & we talked about what classes she wanted to take. I strongly advices her to not take a certain class. She took it anyway & later said I was right & she wished she hadn’t for all the reasons I had given her. That didn’t make her a failure nor did I brag. I felt bad about what she went through & helped her endure it. We actually bonded because of it. I think it’s sad that you missed out on that bonding experience with him, of learning more with him & etc. you asked for advice. Nothing more & nothing less. That said I’m glad everything worked out for you
Mark 7: 9-13 Has more to say about honoring your parents than the fifth commandment says. How did Jesus put it? He made it clear it was wrong for the Pharisees to teach abandonment of the parents by encouraging people to give them money and call it Corban and not help their older parents. There are two truths here I believe, greed and honor.
After I became saved I realized how important it was to try to reach my parents for the gospel. Father was an unrepentant wife batterer but I knew enough to try to honor him with speaking God’s word to him if he’d listen. I forgave him and it changed my hatred to pity. They’re salvation was always in God’s hands and I rest in His Sovereignty.
Scripture says to love your neighbor, if they aren’t lovable and are “TOXIC” it also says love your enemy and pray for them (God gave no escape). We don’t have to hang out with them and lie but honoring goes deeper than that I think. God said if we don’t forgive neither will he, that’s something worth serious consideration. Peace🙏
The wisdom shared here is profound... Used Japanese cars are the only way to go!!!
Hahah thank, Wretched!
It works both ways.
Colossians 3:21 HCSB
Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so they won’t become discouraged.
And what does "exasperate" mean?
To irritate and frustrate (someone) intensely
God help these people in Jesus name
Hi Todd, I enjoy watching wretched videos and learning more about bible and God.
Question: How to deal with parents whom were abusive (physically & verbally) growing up and one of the two parents is no longer physically abusive but verbally abusively every time they call on the phone to talk to you?
Thank you Todd for this wonderful teaching! Really on point!
Honoring Toxic Parents as an adult is the title that showed up when I thought to share this video. This video is titled Need help honoring and obeying your parents? Why does it show a different title when I went to repost? I will NOT repost those with a title that says “toxic parents”; what gives with the title swap?
Thanks, Wretched, for always putting out wisdom and truth.
However, obedience (Ephesians 6:1) becomes significantly harder when parents are domineering / want you to be something that you can't see yourself becoming. What they want for your life might not necessarily be sinful, but it could still be very painful to pursue. The easiest example I can think of is, what if they want to force upon you a particular career path?
I know it seems blasé, but one thing I try to remember when stuff like this comes up is, this life and all it has to offer are an insignificant speck of dust compared to the vastness of eternity to come. Far more important than seeing our own goals realized is ensuring that we conduct ourselves according to the standards of our Father in Heaven. Who indeed knows whether you shall far pursue any career, before the coming of the Son of Man?
It seems, then, wise to learn those skills they wish you to learn with the fullness of your might, use them to build yourself a foundation, and then when you are able to move on and "leave [your] father and mother", then you will be free to do what you want. Apostle Peter's admonition is applicable to all under authority: "Be subject to your masters with all [fear/reverence], not only the good and gentle, but also the [froward/unreasonable/unrighteous]. For this is thankworthy, if a man for the sake of conscience toward God endures grief, suffering wrongfully." (1 Peter 2:18-19)
You must obey Jesus above all. This is why missionaries praise people who choose Jesus over their family. God must come first. If you feel God has called you for something you must go & he will honor it. He comes first, not our parents.
On a practical level, it is foolish parenting to force a kid into a job when they don't have the talent for it. My dad is a farmer, but unfortunately I have much greater skill and passion for literature, psychology, theology, etc. It hurts us both, but as I once heard it, I can't lay in a grave that was dug for somebody else.
Those kinds of parents (and abusive parents in general) do not see their kids as other thinking, feeling people. They see their kids as extensions of themselves to do whatever they want with. This is not how we coexist with other people. We respect their talents and find a way to help them make use of those talents. :)
This is why I wanted to move out of my parental home. I wanted to start my own life and make some rules for myself^^
Yeah but does not the bible say that the reason a man shall leave his parents is to cleave to his wife? Should we not interpret that as that the kids stay home until they get married? Perhaps if we did not send out 18year old children away from home things might be a little different.
@@tele-scope Exactly, we are too seek God first. Why send kids away? What is wrong with local colleges? It is not how much one pays for education but what one does with it.
Mi husbands parents gave him a “good education” by sending him to public school (in the UK that’s a private school). His dad was a civil engineer and never once gave him any guidance or advice figuring the the school would do that. He really would have valued his dad’s input. He never got it and his parents were well meaning providing him with the best education money could buy and left him to get on with it. They were a churchgoing family and my husband got saved at a Christian camp. He was always respectful toward themes.
I hope this doesn't come across negative, however I do feel I need to address something. I do want to note, before i make this comment, this video might not apply to my wife and I 100%. See the skit implies a healthy parent relationship into adulthood. If that were the case for my wife and I's families, that would be great. However, my in laws, and even family on my side, have tried to take charge of us as though we are still children somehow. We have fought them back on issues like this. I don't feel this video covers what would happen with extreme narcissistic parents and how to go about honouring them.
It doesn't. Not at all. This video saying that this is what toxic parents are like, actually infuriates me. It makes it look like abuse survivors are over reacting and self entitled
@@tele-scope what do you mean by that? If asking me, I can explain how I later went about this.
Great topic. In my opinion we need to consider the commandments of God before our parents'. In that example Todd gave us, yes we can make our own decisions In a respectful way but that doesn't mean its right in God's eyes. Before making that decision, we need to ask God: Is this how you intend us on how to spend the money? In this particular case I would say no. At the end of the day it's God who we need to honor more than anyone else in this world. Please correct me if I'm wrong.
Todd, while I understand and appreciate your video, it doesn't always go well, as the Bible says it should. When you have a parent who claims to be a Christian, but mentally and emotionally abuses the whole family.... sometimes you honour them by refusing to participate in all that. Some people are truly abused and need to protect themselves from that. I've repented to my mother and she continues to blame me while not repenting herself. I can't have a relationship with someone who treats my dad like garbage and loves to fight and argue with everyone in our family.
I understand. My Mom was the same, and the more loving I behaved towards her, the uglier she responded and I finally realized that we would never have a "normal" mother/daughter relationship, but I could change my own expectations and there was some freedom in that. But, she always wanted me to be the adversary and I just wouldn't engage. I'm sure the abuse was generational because she used to tell stories of the things her Dad did to her (which she was doing to us with total unself-awareness) but this generational abuse ended with my brothers and sister, which is a miracle right there, and none of our children carry those scars.
@@crowznest438 the best way you can love some people is by not putting up with mistreatment.
4:32 as a car enthusiest, i approve of this 😂 less expensive and way less frequent as well lol
A commandment that heavily promotes strong family. God character revealed.
What if, as an adult make living on your own and trying to start your own family, your parent insists you do what they say, without giving much thoughts to your own opinions. And then when you still decide to go ahead with what you want to do, they try to make you feel bad.
Will it be dishonoring to them to make a choice contrary to what they want you to do at that point?
I am so blessed to have had amazing parents. However, I know someone who's toxic mother is the one who severed ties with some of her adult kids. How should the kids handle that?
Be grateful. Sad but true.
The problem with most teachings on this is how everyone treats verse 1 of Ephesians 6 like all that exists. How about verse 4? You can't build a relationship between people by putting the burden on just one party. If there's abuse, you're basically saying apologize and tolerate it. How would this help save the parent's soul as they'd not be living up to Ephesians 6:4. Effort should be made to always address both ends of the relationship.
Wow
“No, i’m not the wizard of Oz”
-Theory disproven, dangit!-
Ephesians 6:4 tells the continuation. No need to explain. But if i had to, it says that Fathers are still responsible
I have a friend who is 25 and lives at home. Her parents are generally not toxic, so she has no trouble honouring and obeying.
My friend’s problem comes when she wants to date. Her mother is very disapproving of anyone at the church because they don’t make enough money and has said she would prefer my friend to date an unbeliever who has more money and status than to date a Christian from the church, and the mother is also terrified of her daughter leaving her to be alone so she does her best to sabotage any potential relationship by telling my friend that she’s not allowed to go out and she must obey. But there is no biblical reason for her not to date. My friend is getting older and wants to have a Christian husband and family of her own, but if she obeyed her mother she would never be able to do that.
Sometimes these situations can be very nuanced and difficult and require more than just blind obedience to a fallible parent who may be steering their child in the wrong direction.
This is not ok. The Bible strictly forbids such a thing. I’ve seen what happens in mixed religious marriages. It’s never good, especially for the kids.
Your description of your friend's mother is absolutely toxic. She is manipulating, self seeking, controlling... she's a poster child for toxic mothering
Proverbs 23:22 - Listen to your father who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old.
If you're going to pontificate, at least don't use a counterfeit bible.
sorry guys i switched the number in the reference. it's 23:22, not 22:32.
That was me at one point then I gave up all my resentment and forgave thanks to the LORD
Are your parents alive?
@@fireballxl-5748 yes and we are in great relationship now .. they are not believers but one battle at a time .. alot of rough history between us .. the fallen world sure can do a number on you ... GOD bless
I am thinking about Genesis 31 where Jacob, Rachel, and Leah fled from Laban. They shouldn’t have left without him knowing and Rachel shouldn’t have taken his gods, but God led them away and allowed them to separate from Laban’s abuse. Thoughts?
When are some of these parents going to repent to their children about how they mental or physical abusive them?
Deuteronomy 21:18-21.
what if you've had to move back home to take care of them? haha, just as I'm asking this you provided the answer. my dad thinks that just because he is my father he has the right to try and control me and order me around.
Be careful. It’s not ok to let someone abuse you, even if they’re your parent. Look into “the royal we” youtuber. Good luck
It is noble and good to help our parents if they truly need it, but respect is also earned and maintained through selflessness. A parent has no right to bully their kid or use them for their own gain. Colossians 3:22. A parent should be a protector, which in turn makes the kids love them and want to help them in their older age.
@@triplejmom7826 oh I'm not abused by my father, and I don't do luck as that is a firm of witch craft. I take a stand against my father and I have told him he has no authority to tell me what to do. but I do honor him by taking care of him because I want to glorify the LORD. he can't take care of himself because he was never taught how. not by his mother nor by his wife(my mom)
@@sandstorm7768 I agree. I have two brothers and a sister but they are busy with their own lives so since I don't work and I'm the oldest that responsibility has fallen on me. I believe God allowed things to happen in my life to make me available to be there for them. I took care of my mom for two years before she died last year. I know my dad would not be able to take care of himself if I wasn't here and the reason I asked that was because I responded before I listened to the whole thing.
@@elizabethgrimes1840 luck? Where did I mention that? & I’m glad your dad doesn’t abuse you.
How to forgive a dad, (step) who mistreated his wife , my mom after she got dementia, which she died from, and went against everything she asked him not to do.? He said he wouldnt go against her wishes but he did and thats just the tio of the ice burg , id u will, so how do I forgive him? How to honor him? He no longer lives in the same state has he did while married to my mom, if 42 yrs, which is not a problem that he moved but his mistreatment was bad! Do I honor him? Its been an issue with me for that past 2 yrs, the amount of time my mom has been gone, which I miss , so what do I do in this situation, Im in my 50s I dont know if age as anything to do with it but maybe it does and no plz dont get me wrong im not wanting an out bcuz i mentioned my age. I really dint know if honoring him is what I continue to do??
If it's your step dad then he's not your real dad. This passage applies to parents...not to the people your parents happen to have married.
You need to forgive him though, even if you dont have a relationship with him.
Why don't teachers in the faith address abusive parents - EVER? I think I honor my mother by NOT knocking her out for what she's done to me!
3:01 this is nearly memeworthy
But if you’re a parent of a teenager and you’re still micromanaging them instead of giving them more and more responsibility letting them go (with some exceptions) you’re doing it wrong. The strict years should be the little years to make them more and more ready to be on their own- to be an impact for a kingdom.
Prosperity hack!!!🙀😂
He's just so tall. Its not normal.
you can't get over this 😂
Freakishly tall, as he says. :)
Vitamortis sorry, but its the 8th wonder of the world.
@@pkendlers I wish he would dedicate a video to it, and explain how this happened. There has to be some sort of formula or diet he followed. Or maybe there is a nuclear plant nearby.
Should I apologize (i.e. saying "I'm sorry") for something that was the right thing to do? Wouldn't that be lying?
of course. the question is, was it the right thing to do. logically speaking.
@@Vitamortis. What do you mean of course? Why of course?
One should apologize for refusing to do a sinful act? Do you base this on the bible or on your deceitful heart?
@@petros-estin-petra- no i mean of course you shouldn't apologize for something that is right
@@Vitamortis. I see, thanks.
Maybe just humbling yourself and laying it aside as its more important to honor and forgiving and loving the other than any fact that your right and their not.
Mister Todd you look like Edward Van Halen
6:16 😂
Production: please don't do close up's of inside speakers mouth. Thanks in advance.
😉 🤣
What if your parent is a violent alcoholic ?
Almost everyone in the comments needs a lesson on forgiveness. How many times do you forgive? What would Jesus do?
This is about as one sided boomer Bible interpretation as anyone can get on this subject. The Bible clearly states that when a man leaves his parents and cleaves to his wife. There's nothing saying the parents are the kids responsibility. That's only if the kids decide they want to.
Yup, you hit the nail on the head. This guy is a lordship salvationist false prophet who loves to twist scripture.
Have you believed the gospel? The gospel is that Jesus died on the cross for your sins was buried and rose again the third day
To my fellow wretches in the comments, please go back and listen to the video one more time. Todd is speaking in generic terms. He is using the mean or average. I would like for him to do a video on how to honor an abusive or controlling parent. But I think you already know what you should do, because the Word of God directs your lives.
While this video deals with an average to Christian parent, honor does not stop if you were abused or they were/are controlling. Even though you may not seek out their counsel, visit regularly, or keep a great distance between them and you, you do not hate them. You acknowledge they gave you life and forgive them for the evil committed against you. As God molds a new heart within you, you will begin to see them in a new light. Not a monster that took advantage of you, but a sinner who will burn in hell for eternity if they do not repent. Because they are your parents, that should carry more weight to the fact you should witness to them, not cut them off. Sure, you may have to shake the dust off your feet if they are continually unwilling, but that never allows you to hate them, or think of them in any other way than of someone made in the image of God who will suffer his wrath. This then is the love and honor for a “toxic” parent/s.
smells a bit of Bill Gothard ... PBPGINFWMY
a bmw is not a japanese made car ...its german
That's what he said is that a Japanese car would be a much better choice economically speaking
I see a lot of comments about a child's relationship with an abusive and/or toxic parent(s) ranging from asking how to deal with it to flat out denying any responsibility as a child to the parent. To those people I would say, first, two wrongs don't make a right. We can't simply cancel our obligations and responsibilities just because the other party failed in theirs. Parents can and will fail, commonly in some of the most spectacular ways. That doesn't give us the excuse to also fail as their children. Second, love does not seek it's own. This means it isn't real love if we love our parents because they loved us first or returned our love. We love them even if they don't love us. Now this is an impossible task for us...but not for God. We should not be relying on our own strength to love parents who are seemingly impossible to love. We should be praying to our Heavenly Father to give us the love for our parents that He has for us. There is no experation date on the respect and honor we should be showing our parents. As adults living in our own homes, there is also no duty on our part to just allow them to micromanage our lives and abuse us. We can show them respect and honor despite what they are doing to us. In addition to that, there are disciplinary systems in place to handle issues like these. If your parents are abusive you can talk to your pastor or church elders and let them talk to your parents. If your parents are not saved or church members and they are actually breaking the law you can talk to the local authorities. One of the reasons the governement has been established by God is for this purpose. You can also take comfort in the knowledge that God sees you and your pain. He has a plan and will use this for good. You don't know what God may bring about because of your faithfulness in adversity. Do this work for God with joy.
*1 Peter 3:* 13 "And who is he who will harm you if you become followers of what is good? 14 *But even if you should suffer for righteousness’ sake, you are blessed.* “And do not be afraid of their threats, nor be troubled.” 15 But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts, and always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you, with meekness and fear; 16 having a good conscience, that when they defame you as evildoers, those who revile your good conduct in Christ may be ashamed. 17 *For it is better, if it is the will of God, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil."*
Sadly when it comes to abused people we learn the hard way to stay away from Christians, church, pastor, & Christian councilors because all of them encourage us to stay with the abuser & never hold the abuser accountable. It’s always the abused victim that has to make it work or forgive, etc. never the abuser 😢 as a Christian it hurts that so many hurting people are further hurt by I’ll informed Christians. Jesus protected the victims never the abusers. We should do the same
Your comment as it pertains to people in actual abusive relationships is completely misguided. You dont ever direct people in abusive relationships to go back into that relationship, that's absurd and is not required in the Bible.
@@charlibrown7745 No, my comment is borne of experience guided by biblical teaching. You've decided to interpret what I said regarding loving and honoring parents as an instruction to place your head on a chopping block. I said no such thing. Assuming the role of a punching bag is not what is meant by honoring your parents. Like it or not, we don't choose our parents. It is not a relationship you can opt in to or out of. My comment is a few thoughts about how to view and handle a difficult situation in a way that glorifies God in a biblical manner. God does tell us what he expects of us as children. If we want to follow Jesus and obey we must be willing to do so even in the worst of situations, not just when it's nice and easy.
I love your comment. Yes, we are to follow Christ no matter what that God may be glorified.
When Floyd asks for it, maybe. Otherwise, may he rot in Hell.
Oh yes, honor your parents who are allowed to mentally and physically abuse you but don't you dare disobey your parents because the bible says if kids don't listen then take them out into the public streets and have them stoned to death. 😂 ahhh, that book needs to be banned from the world and anyone caught talking about it needs to be jailed.
@FUnit123