This is what social media should be. People seeking out contact. People being honest about their selfves. It takes great courage to say this and you made an perfect example for us all. Cause we all are lonely sometimes and this makes people more connected then an influencer begging for our likes while he is busy pretending to be everything you want. But not who he really is. Authenticity and truth is what all seek and rarly find beneath the pile of gameshow hosts and circus monkeys. Entertainment is ok but expressing our true selves is better. Otherwise we all lose who we are as individuals and as human beings. Thanks very much! Very inspiring.
Very well put -- & I think it is wonderful to read so many kind & understanding comments. I would like to add the suggestion that finding a very enjoyable hobby or goal would likely bring some happiness -- and quite possibly lead to making friends who share this interest. Best wishes to you!
I have a recommendation. This is what my wife and I do every Friday night. Before bed, we have a bottle of wine and cheese and we watch an episode or two of a television show we have on DVD. Preferably a comedy. We talk and laugh. It's very enjoyable and relaxing. Years ago we started to drift apart. We were both in that routine you mentioned. Go to work, come home, don't go anywhere. We are each others best friend. For me, after working for 40 years I'm too tired mentally to have dozens of friends and going out. I'm fine with a lot less. You're not alone my friend.....I enjoy your videos.
You are not the only one who feels like this in Germany. I think the moment we decide to pursue a ‘corporate job’, we narrow down the number of people who could potentially be in our lives because we go a serious path which requires a lot of planning and seriousness, which makes it harder to feel free and spontaneous. We are tied to this planning cycle which defines our life and we miss out opportunities that others don't (like Spanish people > they have fiesta 2h break where everyone goes out for a drink etc.)
This is pretty typical in America also. I'm only 34 and I barely see the friends I've known for 20 years. I never hang out with my co-workers. It can cause problems at work if arguments or drama happens outside of the work place. I'll be your friend dude, sending good vibes from the USA
I'm also 34 years old and I barely see my friends. Some have moved to another city and others have children or a partner and barely have time to dedicate to friendship. I go to dance classes, to the gym but I can't make any new friends, a real friend, not a person with whom to have a dull 10-minute conversation. Where I live people are quite cold and lately it seems that we are generally losing the ability to connect with each other. It doesn't mean that I don't like solitude, I like spending time with myself but other times I need someone's company. And to finish my confession I will add that I am single and it is also difficult to find a partner, especially in real life and not through an app. Greetings from Spain ❤️
learn to flirt. It feels weird at first, but that ‘joking around’ is what guys want to. Go watch ‘ryan long’ he’s the best I’ve ever seen at it. Is always cracking jokes (flirting essentially).
@@marianavase8805 Same with me. Most of my friends are either out of state, married with kids, or unfortunately passed away. The technology boom has made people unable to socialize. Tbh it didn't seem hard finding a partner before the pandemic. But since then, it seems impossible. Dating apps are trash. And no one wants a real relationship now a days. But life can still be enjoyable. I just took a solo trip to Japan in honor of a friend who passed away and it was a great experience. Sometimes you just have to step far outside of your comfort zone to find friends with potential. People you can trust and count on.
This... is remarkable. You are disarmingly frank. You deserve a lot of support here on youtube, for the simple insights you have given to us around the world. Greetings from NZ.
I understand what he's saying. But he's still v lucky to have what he has right now, which he can't enjoy as he sees his demise in an evermore difficult environment. I feel society and norms are collapsing around us and the oncoming conditions will destroy us, am afraid, too. possible friends, socialising in these times are in same situation. Age also plays big at 50 onwards ie withdrawing.
Getting lonely is a normal emotion. I am 43 and live day to day traveling. I have no family anymore. All of my friends are either gone or far away. You have good days and bad days. Some people say they envy my life. But all they know is the traveling and nothing about me feeling lonely and sometimes lost in a world that I don't fit in with. I am more of an old fashion person and this new modern world confuses me. I just do the best that I can.
Thank you for your honesty. I’m 44 years old and have by now learned - and begun to accept and embrace - that life comes with an inbuilt sense of existential loneliness. It is not helped by the fact that the external world is so focused on materialism and success, that we quickly become strangers to ourselves and each other. I used to desperately try to drown that out with socialising, alcohol and dating, when I was single. It is true that companionship and socialising with friends can temporarily remove the focus from this loneliness, but in the end, it is always there. It takes a radical acceptance of this to just relax and be in your own company. In a certain way, the loneliness is because we are separate from a core part of ourselves. That’s why we can often be the most lonely in a crowd (we don’t connect with, or feel at home in). When we radically and fully except that we are alone, and that is a paradox, people will be drawn to your calmness. Of course, there is probably a cultural element to this. In my understanding, Japanese people people don’t want to bother or be a burden on others, and will always maintain a dignified distance out of respect. Maybe that creates a distance, that can be lonely? I know this from other western Europeans visiting Japan, that it can be difficult to socialise. And someways, this is probably the opposite of the Anglo-Saxon bar culture, where conversation, even with strangers, it’s very easy, or like in the south of Europe, were extended groups of people hang out together in cafés or restaurants. I have been to Seoul and South Korea, so I have a certain firsthand experience of the correctness and respectful distance. So when part at least, I think I understand. Anyway, life is not easy, and often it can seem random and arbitrary on the surface. I guess that is universal😊 In reality though, I think we are here to learn, and that loneliness is trying to tell us something about connection inwards with deeper parts of ourselves.
Totally agree with your deepness. Stop worrying about this, you were made for a much greater job and role. you dont know the reason for your existence... and that life continues after death... The real point of life that is related to the eternity of the universe away from the temporary projects of buying a house or raising kids, not mentioning having fun and satisfying lusts. Nothing is exciting about this life other than living it in harmony with its real meaning and in connection to its bigger context, which is before death and after.... Sitting in a closed room would put you in a disabled position to know what's beyond unless a paper was passed to you from under the door. I am not trying to jump into conclusions, but such a paper must include in itself proofs of it being written and authored by a sincere intity trying to guide, not to divert, or manipulate you. Japanese have taught the world how to make cars and electronics, medicine was written in latin, and business is done in english, but spirituality was revealed and known in the middle east, through a series of messages one copying the other in the case of it being corrupted by dishonest human beings. As I had mentioned, this message must include proofs within about its sincerity and credibility... miraculous and preserved. Where a huge marvelous intity living beyond death and birth would never leave us alone, neither disoriented nor lost. Am not asking you to have faith, but telling you about where to look and what to examine. The last of the messages, the only 1 version unaltered book, preserved over centuries, with numerical, scientific, and eloquent miracles impossible to be gotten without a divine beyond super power... *The Quraan*.
I often spend time watching your videos when I am feeling lonely. It's nice to hear your stories and expression of feelings. Thanks for helping make the world feel a little smaller.
I stopped wanting any friends after I turned 50 (now 66). I really enjoy my own time to read, watch CZcams, playing with my hobbies, riding my motorcycle, and occasionally going out to meet friends when I want. I don't enjoy hanging out with friends more than once in a great while, though. And right now, I am not lonely, and feel my life is fulfilling enough.
I'm 41 years old guy from Indonesia. I can somewhat also relate with the loneliness feelings. Even though on the surface from the outside I might look like having a good life, but deep down inside, I often still feel alone & lonely by myself.
Same here... I'm 28 years old and I have no friends. Thanks for sharing your thoughts... It's tragic, but the modern world has caused an epidemic of loneliness, friendship is rare. Greetings from Brazil
@@askjapan9669your more normal than you think brother, would definitely chill with you and eat doritos n watch tv/video games if you lived close and I know I'm not the only one. Your honesty & integrity are refreshing
I feel you. I may not be 50 years old, but I think like that, and it is very hard for me to make friends. I always enjoyed my alone time and there are very few people I like hanging out with.
I am 35 and feel the same way. I hope this is a comfort knowing that you’re not alone because I am someone who has always been easily able to make friends, but I’m still lonely. Especially since the pandemic. I wonder if we are all experiencing a change since the pandemic. Love from America
Thanks for your comment. Pandemic was affecting a lot of people but in Japan before pandemic the loneliness in elderly became one of the biggest social problems in Japan
Hey! Just found your channel and wanted to show some support. I too have been experiencing this, even though I'm in my 20s. Thanks for being candid with your thoughts, it's great to hear other's life experiences and point of views. It's strange, loneliness strikes at all life stages and ages, even if we are lucky enough to have a few people around us. Appreciate your honestly and your videos, can't wait to watch more of your videos
Japanese people tend to age better than us Western folk. Partly due to their diet being better but I think it's mostly just great genetics. This dudes no exception, I would have guessed mid 30s, maybe 40 at most.
@@storzbickel4328 I have seen many westerners (including my only family) in their 40s that would still be passed by as age 30. Many of them come from various different countries though. Such as Germany, Bosnia, and UK.
@@CrewDino Right on dude. Stereotypically stupid CZcams comment argument. Of course some people and some family lines will age better than others. I'm 35yo Danish guy and most people think I'm 25 and I have a Japanese friend that's 40 and looks 10 years older than the guy in this video. This is all irrelevant information. Overall, the Asian race shows the physical effects of aging less drastically than Caucasians. Don't get butthurt, doesn't mean they are superior, just straight up science, anyone that's traveled around Asia knows this, not as an opinion, but a standard basic fact. If you think otherwise, you know little to nothing of the race. Google it baka kemo sabe
Single and living alone for half a decade now, no Friday parties for me. Love to cook good food for myself, clean my apartment, kitchen, dishes. Call my mom and sister every alternate days. I am loving it. Why like this? Loved a woman and lost her back in 2019. Never met anyone special after 2019, tried and gave up. It’s not that bad. And yes, my happiness comes from doing things for others unconditionally.
*I'm 45, have a wife, an almost 2 year old daughter and a son due in about 3 months. I had my time. I partied like a rockstar for 18 years. It's my family's time. I don't need friends. It's all for them. It's legacy building time - until I see my Dad again.*
Dude, I’m 49 years old. I used to go out with co-workers in my 20’s while working in the tech industry. Been there done that. I am happy to stay home with my husband. Then in the weekend we stay in our yard and dig dirt until we are about to pass out of exhaustion, that is what we call a fun weekend. People come by to talk to us in our yard. My recommendation is that you start growing plants. I have started a collection of Japanese Maples and conifers.
I agree! Nothing makes me and my wife happier then when someone compliments are yard. A fun date for us is going to the garden store to look at plants & finding a new place for them.😊
Yeah life is a evolution of changes...a journey where you become more discerning with what you like as you get older. I find I don't waste my time of things of the past anymore but focus on the more profound and meaningful aspects which makes life most enjoyable for me.
I'm from the UK. In my humble opinion - when you get to 50, you can count your best friends on one hand, and probably still have 4 fingers left over! Try not to be too lonely. Inspire others and educate us about Japan - we are very interested!
I am a life long raging alcoholic and addict. I got to a point with my alcoholism and drug abuse where I did not want to drink or use anymore but I was unable to stop because of the addictions. I decided I would quit drinking or I would die trying. I quit everything. I made it, I survived. When I did quit drinking, it was the greatest achievement of my life. I had to isolate myself from all my friends to quit drinking. I lost most of them over time because I was so reclusive. I am now by far in the best financial, legal and mental state of my life. Every year gets better for me. I lost most my friends but that is because in reality most of them really weren't my friends. They were simply drinking and drugging buddies. I didn't know what real friendship was until I became sober. Suprisingly the only friends I have left now are the friends I had BEFORE I started drinking or have made since I quit drinking. I am alone at my PC almost every night not just Friday. I am not sad, I am not lonely. I do it by choice. I like being alone, I am at peace. I will be your friend in Florida. - 12 years sober
@@askjapan9669 I can fully understand that concept in Japan. I now have time to think, analyze situations and focus on what is important. When I drank it was easier for me to socialize but it was because I was drinking. It was all really just a waste of time and money, I see now I didn't really even enjoy it. Now that I am sober I realize I am happy being alone, I don't need constant company. I do go out maybe once a month or so with a friend or two to dinner or something. I could go out more I just don't choose to do it anymore. I really enjoy your videos. 🏆
I'm 23. I'm in a similar boat. All my interests often relate to Japan. I love collecting old vinyl from the 80s, particularly Japanese. I enjoy learning and playing guitar and just overall hanging out on my own. It was something I learnt how to do when I was younger. But, visiting Japan last December gave me an eye opener. I went to Golden Gai and one night, I stumbled upon this bar that played old Japanese vinyl. The songs they were playing? Hey it was my type of music. They played old 80s Japanese idol songs that I knew off, that I had collected on vinyl personally. When I told the owner and some of the folk who were there, (All about your age) they were shocked. How can a white Australian man at age 23 like their music? Sounds impossible right? Well it stopped me feeling lonely, even just for one night. Talked and listen to idol music and just the impact it had. It was such a relief for me. And you know it gave me a positive feeling that even though I dont have anyone now I can relate to in terms of this hobby, there are people out there who I can get along with and have a good night with just talking about music. I've saved the bar for next time I visit Japan. I'm sharing this experience because as a 23 year old living in Australia with interests of the past of a foreign country, its very hard to make friends. But now, I have goals to try and make my life better and to come to Japan after meeting those old folk. Starting hobbies you are interested, learning an instrument, joining clubs, maybe even get into Karaoke! You might meet people who are feeling the same as you. I'm looking forward to coming back and visiting that bar in golden gai, its my new happy place. But until then, I am thinking of ways I can bring my hobby over here and introduce younger folk to it. One day, I'd like to open a record store here in Australia and sell Japanese records in the hopes I can find like minded folk.
I am in a city in North America. I have no friends due to me pushing everyone away like a fool when I was younger. I have had zero friends for 10 plus years. I have only my mother in my life that I visit weekly. Also a twin sister that hates me because I am too different from her. I wish we were close. The city I live in is super anti social. People are shocked at how hard it is to meet new friends or partners. Because you meet people through friendship circles. It has been tough. I really understand but I quit drinking too recently to save money. I am happy I found your videos.
Hi, maybe it’ll help if you write her a letter just frankly saying you want to be closer to her. Sometimes feelings are more easier expressed through writing than through verbal communication. It’s just that your “someday” sounded so sad. It sounds like never :( Take hold of your loved ones, don’t wait. Family is truly all you’ve got in the end and you never know when something can take them away from you. Bad news comes from nowhere, and I’m speaking from personal experience. Take initiative while she’s still alive and well. Wish you the best.
I feel like youtube is a good outlet for this kind of thing. It helps to have a community, even if it is virtual. If you happen to visit London there's a pint (of beer) from me with your name on it!
Im from 'Oranda' and Olived in Japan for a year and what youre doing, speaking about your feelings and emotions is not many japanese are able to do. You are a great example. amazing ❤
I’m a 27-year-old man from Canada who has no friends. I spend most of time after work studying Japanese. I think it’s important to find a hobby to occupy our time. I think CZcams vlogging may fulfil that for you. I have subscribed to your channel and I am looking forward to your future videos!
I agree, also gave him a subscribe. Interesting to see other people from around the world experiencing the same feelings. Also, I'm going to the shop now to buy some Doritos lol
How do you learn Japanese after work? Please share the advice. How many hours a day or weekly do you spend learning? What methods and approaches do you use? What materials? Thank you.
@@QuadDamage-tt7sj Hello, I am not sure what learning methods will work for you but I can tell you my story. I have ADHD so I have a lot of difficulty using textbooks to learn, I cannot concentrate. Thus, I use SRS-based services. I use WaniKani for learning Kanji and vocabulary and BunPro for learning grammar (you can also use it to learn vocabulary but I am not since I'm learning vocabulary through WaniKani). I spend around 2 hours everyday studying Japanese. I have been learning since October of last year and I have learnt 400+ Kanji, 1,000+ words, and 50+ grammar points (but I did not study much in December since I was on vacation). Keep in mind that WaniKani and BunPro are not free. The first thing you should learn is Hiragana and Katakana, there are free apps and CZcams videos you can use to learn them, it should not take longer than 1-2 weeks. Start learning Kanji, vocabulary, and grammar as soon as you learn Hiragana and Katakana.
Hi bro, I understand how you feel... work out what you want from the job... get it and move on and build a life around things that truly matter... no loss from not hanging out with fake co-workers.... such relationships are pointless. Game the matrix... dun give in to it. Stay strong for yourself and your love ones.
life is an inward journey.... no amount of kids, friends etc.. will fill that void.. search for real meaning.. a higher purpose.. that for me is Islam. True submission to the one who made you and brought you into existence. Serving the creator will give you fulfillment. Everything else is trainspotting. Sorry not trying to preach and i really appreciate your videos and your honesty.
My friend, the best way to make friends is to go to a concert or some kind of event that you enjoy. You know why this is great? You have people who enjoyed the same thing as you all around. All you have to do is get out there and try to strike up a conversation. Always pay people compliments and potentially offer to buy them a shot/drink
I really enjoy your honesty and openness in this topic, my friend! There's no shame in having no friends. Better to be alone and content than in the wrong crowd. I feel that, as we age, making friends is harder because of other responsibilities like raising a family, making money, and everything else that gets in the way. The truth is...if one wants friends than there's a lot effort involved and we're all JUST TOO TIRED from living
Being with oneself is not a bad thing. Being with oneself happily is one of great things in life. It does not only brings joy but also peace into a life. ❤
I know how you feel. I dont really drink much anymore, so bars don't help me meet people. I recently found a running club that meets once a week, and I found some friends there. And there are people there of all ages. One runner is in his late 60s.
very nice insight and very true. as i turned 50, i realized i also don't go out as much. I only have a handful of friends at work and would rather spend Friday nights at home, with glass of wine and a nice movie. I'm happy that way.
"The older you become, the less likely you make friends". You're absolutely right about this. I just turned 30. Once we graduate high school, we begin losing touch with friends. Old friends dont reach out, and we might have one or two friends left if we are lucky. Im the type who puts forth effort into friendships but its sad to see others not put the same effort into reaching out asking to hangout. I dont understand why people dont make an effort into maintaining friendships. I often wonder why it was so easy making and maintaining friendships as a kid compared to being an adult. I guess people are too focused on their job, families, and being too tired. You are not alone. I understand what you're going through.
Its good to see there are people who have same thinking and problems ,its the beauty of social media that you can find people with relatable life like you.
I'm about 10 years younger than you, but I am seeing this too. It' definitely true that as you get older, you seem to make friends less. I think part of it is routine. We, as older people, are less likely to take risks like younger people or be adventurous and more likely to stick to what we know. It makes less opportunities for spontaneous friendships to form.
You are a very nice man, very respectful and compassionate for your family and yourself. Stay true to yourself and find hobbies to enjoy and friends will follow. I recommend just putting yourself out there and find places to go, such as a coffee shop and go there regularly and one day you’ll meet friends. ❤
Thanks for sharing something so raw, genuine, and unfiltered. Something to consider. Maybe pick up or spend more time on a hobby that you enjoy (like biking or going outdoors) and you can find friends through that hobby instead of just your coworkers. But I understand that there isn't always time for hobbies and that things might be different in Japan. Greetings from the U.S!
The tradition to hang out with your coworkers after work basically is an underlying punishment when you switch your line of work/ company, because as the new guy it will take a long time to get to the same level as the people that know each other for years. In my humble opinion it makes things more complicated. However, it can be combated if you can make new friends that are not related to your workplace. You will have them regardless if you go from one place to the other. I would suggest to find look outside your company for people.
I’m in my late 50s and married to a Japanese woman. OMG ! The definition of loneliness! I would be interested in hearing your thoughts about Japanese marriages. Thanks.
Im 51. I totally can relate. What you are doing there is normal. All of us in our generation are going through the same thing, reminesing about our younger years in the 90s, how the world and work has changed, how we no longer fit in it or go out with friends and drink at the bars and clubs. And its fine. I dont think its lonelyness but more of missing how things once were and saddened that its gone and having a longing for our youth again.. Still doing the little things we enjoy like we did in our 20s like eating doritos, drinking a soda and playing video games. Happy moments are the simple ones done in peace.
You will spend 90% of the time you will ever spend with your children by the time they become adults. You are blessed with a good job and wonderful family in a safe harmonious country, most men would happily trade places with you.
I don’t know what to tell you my man. Everyone struggles with existential despair at some point. Finding meaning is music, art, weightlifting and developing deep relationships helps me. Being at home alone doing nothing makes my cognition spiral downwards. Best wishes to you and your family and I hope you can find joy in the smaller things in life. You’re not alone!
Finally he opened the doritos. i was waiting 😂 I have msg allergy, somehow the doritos in the thumbnail inviting me here 😂 I love deep talking. I stopped hang out with coworker after hit 29 y.o ..now I am much older and old fashion. I don't like see people smoke or drink alcohol. I hate seeing people littering. I hate see people drink soda 😅😂 I hate see lazy people. Some people call me grandmother and some call me health minister. Full support to have this kind of conversation, you have many friends here also getting money from youtube 😊
Congratulation for your very candid, honest, wonderful videos, you think before speaking in a word who rewards instead who does the exact opposite. Your voice and tempo give us all time to reflect on your words and ourselves. I am from Italy and I have been living in Thailand for the last 45 years. I am 60 years old now and I am exactly as you, I never go out to drink, I am at home with my wonderful wife and share with her happy moments and as you I am not good at all in small talking...Unfortunately it seems that in this age introverts are seen negatively while I believe that us, the quiet, introverted, have a lot to give to this world. If one day I come to Japan I would like to a friend of yours!!
Ultimately we're all alone in this life. But it's nice to go out and have fun sometimes. I'm 70, and have been raising kids for 23 years. Not much social life either, so I'm happy just being with myself. My marriage fell apart but I have my kids. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I can relate. Enjoy your Pepsi and Doritos. Thank God for the internet, it keeps me busy.
I'm 43 and my family are my "friends" as well, but it's really not the same for companionship. I feel like it was once easier to make friends in America than it is now; everyone I come across seems lonely these days. I definitely identify with quietly enjoying your Doritos & Pepsi, however. I always try to find a "treat" for the end of the day when I have time to myself.
I used to hang out with way to many “friends” believe me, you’re better off the way you are. I was once a party animal who now LOVES solitude. Great English by the way. 👍👍
You can always make new friends. Age is just a number. Go to a Gym, or find a group wich has the same interests as you have /hiking, biking, fishing../ You can start a conversation with others, they will *not* rip your head of for it :) Just go outside your confort zone. I do it this way, as n Introvert myself, its fun to play a role of an extrovert for a short time
@@askjapan9669 Hey, i understand...The older we get, the harder we are on ourself cause we seem only to lose stuff in life, stuff, health, friends, family... That's why I enrolled in a Law School last year, and this new experience kicked me out of my comfort zone. Life is about experiencing new stuff because if we don't grow, we else is there? 😁😁😁😁
If you think that's bad I'm 23 years old with no friends, no girlfriend or wife, and my parent's have poor health and will probably die before I turn 30 years old. And I'm struggling to find a good job too after graduating 4 months ago. But on the positive side I do have a plan. I have lots of plans actually. And I recently started putting those plans into action. For example, one of my goals is to become the strongest version of myself, physically. So I designed a 10 year fitness plan that involves everything from weightlifting to calisthenics to boxing to swimming to biking. Another one of my plans is to become rich. So I planned out exactly what kind of career I can get with my degree and how many hours I should be working to achieve this goal. And I've also started researching a ton about stocks and investing. So what is my point anyways? Reflect on your life and find out what you really want. Then come up with a plan. Finally ignore everything else and dedicate yourself to that plan.
Shit I'm on the same boat, turning 23 this month and graduated university 5 months and I'm still unemployed. I also have some plans and have been working out since last year. Good luck bro, let's make it happen.
Stumbled across this video somehow and can really relate. Something happens at 50 and you start questioning everything. It is true that it is much harder to meet people later in life. I have had groups of friends in every decade of my teens, 20s, 30s and 40s. I can say that, for myself, I lost a lot of the zeal for life I used to have. That being written, I have really tried to push outside my comfort zone and do things that make me get out more. I started a martial arts practice years ago which has given me some social interaction, and recently started a strength training workout at a local gym. It has helped and makes me feel better just getting out and doing something hard. I can't say as I have met friends at these places, as there are more younger people doing these activities. At least it gets me out and makes me stronger. Middle age is a challenging time, so I completely understand where you are coming from. Try to enjoy time with your wife and kids....I am divorced with 2 kids, so its a little more challenging for me. Keep at the youtube...its refreshing
I am 30 and I have no kids but I observe that people that would in your younger days be eager to hang out will slowly distance themselves from my friends that have kids as maybe they feel like they cannot relate or that theyve changed cause they had them(which is not the case besides the added responsibility), I think being also an office worker the environment is one of intrigue and a web of relationships that are complicated and change often, I do not try to seek to go out too often with office co-workers cause I just do not feel like I relate to them, I think that the best way to find people like you is to find a hobby that allows you to spend time with people that are like minded and enjoy the same passions as you so you do not feel like you cannot relate, I do not even think that the age difference matters especially for things like gaming and airsoft as there are many hobbies enjoyed by all ages, I enjoy hearing another perspective on these topics thanks for the video
if you see japanese working culture you will realise many of them do not have the energy left over to do any hobbies... Choices are, do less overtime and be socially ostracized and get less chances at promotion... or give up your life for work.
im 23 and Im feeling this too heh. The problem is that it's hard for me to converse with people because I have limited knowledge. I try to talk about the other person's interest but sometimes it can get tiring because it can be hard to keep up or offer any input.
I am an American and I find your channel and life in Japan to be very fascinating, not sure if you drink at all but I would love to buy you a beer and ask you questions about Japan. Edit: oops, I commented too early. You say in the video that you do drink sometimes
I have never enjoyed being tied down to having lots of " friends." And I stopped the rare drinking after work in my early 30s. Home and my spouse and dogs and my many interests and maintaining our home is all I need in my life. I exercize, meditate and have lost my ego on purpose and have been blessed with a major spiritual awakening in my life as well. Life is what you manifest it to be...everything is happening for you-- good or bad...and not to you. Sending you some positivity. .
Thanks for sharing in such an honest way. You sound very grounded in reality to me. You're definitely not full of self pity which is an easy trap to fall into. I've been living in Japan for over 20 years now and my Japanese wife and I have no kids. I often feel lonely myself. Japan can be an isolating country. You are lucky you have kids! I'm 53 (very soon) and I don't like going out to bars like I did when I was young. Most of my old friends are either gone back to their country or heavy drinkers. But I'm lucky to have a wonderful wife :)
There is something very satisfying about all of your videos. I think because i can relate yo how you feel. Youre exposing youself to humility which is very cool to me.
Watching your videos honestly fills me with joy :D Your videos are so real and chill, you seem like an amazing man that gives everything for your family!
I hope you have a nice weekend, thanks for sharing your thoughts. I also like the ending.. it's like damn these Doritos are hitting the spot, better end the video there lol
if i lived in japan i'd totally be your friend. you seem like such a kind nice guy! i wish you all the best my japanese brother; May good fortune come your way x
Meeting new people is a tough thing as we get older, establishing new friends and relationships most certainly become rarer as well. With this said, you my new friend are not alone, know that. I am your new friend here near Seattle WA, I hope we may enjoy a beer together sometime. Best for now, George
Caroline Winkler has a video about how to make friends as an adult. One of the tips is that you have to work on it as if it is your job, meaning if you don't feel like going out, meeting new people and communicating with them, still to do it. And be ready to take rejection and move on until you find the people you feel good hanging out with and who also want to make friends. I don't know if that is realistic in Japan, but since you are a person who thinks outside the box, you can probably find other people who feel like you do with who you can socialize once in a while.
This is what social media should be. People seeking out contact. People being honest about their selfves. It takes great courage to say this and you made an perfect example for us all. Cause we all are lonely sometimes and this makes people more connected then an influencer begging for our likes while he is busy pretending to be everything you want. But not who he really is. Authenticity and truth is what all seek and rarly find beneath the pile of gameshow hosts and circus monkeys. Entertainment is ok but expressing our true selves is better. Otherwise we all lose who we are as individuals and as human beings. Thanks very much! Very inspiring.
Exactly. Instead of pretending to be something you’re not and trying to portray a perfect life to strangers.
you nailed it man.
Exactly my friend! I was thinking the same thing. Thanks for putting it to words.
Beautiful put comment
Very well put -- & I think it is wonderful to read so many kind & understanding comments. I would like to add
the suggestion that finding a very enjoyable hobby or goal would likely bring some happiness --
and quite possibly lead to making friends who share this interest. Best wishes to you!
This is a good Christopher Hitchens quote - "A melancholy lesson of advancing years is the realisation that you can't make old friends."
thansk
RIP Hitchens
@@askjapan9669 easier translation
あなたが将来直面する悲しい現実は、過去のように友達を作ることができないということです
I miss hitch.
You should make longer videos. Your voice is very soothing and your conversations are very relatable
I love how the Japanese language compartmentalizes the English language. It sounds so charming.
I can't agree more:)
ASMR channel by him
I have a recommendation. This is what my wife and I do every Friday night. Before bed, we have a bottle of wine and cheese and we watch an episode or two of a television show we have on DVD. Preferably a comedy. We talk and laugh. It's very enjoyable and relaxing. Years ago we started to drift apart. We were both in that routine you mentioned. Go to work, come home, don't go anywhere. We are each others best friend. For me, after working for 40 years I'm too tired mentally to have dozens of friends and going out. I'm fine with a lot less. You're not alone my friend.....I enjoy your videos.
Man what a great comment, happy for you
I don't have a partner. I guess I will drink the whole bottle and eat all the cheese by myself.
No sex after the wine?? Weird…
@@deschua76 I'm not inclined to satisfy the perverted by giving every last detail.
@@Sound_of_a_Raven yawwwnnn..
i feel like this and i'm only 26. love from germany.
You are not the only one who feels like this in Germany. I think the moment we decide to pursue a ‘corporate job’, we narrow down the number of people who could potentially be in our lives because we go a serious path which requires a lot of planning and seriousness, which makes it harder to feel free and spontaneous. We are tied to this planning cycle which defines our life and we miss out opportunities that others don't (like Spanish people > they have fiesta 2h break where everyone goes out for a drink etc.)
@@betteroffdead223 and same in America. I think it’s a universal feeling
26 as well same boat brother
..are You serious?
i’m 26 too and i think we are similar enough that we all got the same video recommendation lol
This is pretty typical in America also.
I'm only 34 and I barely see the friends I've known for 20 years.
I never hang out with my co-workers.
It can cause problems at work if arguments or drama happens outside of the work place.
I'll be your friend dude, sending good vibes from the USA
"only 34"? i'm 28 and i'd say we're not that young anymore, unfortunately lol
@@LiquidSnakeSSJ4 Age is what you make of it. 34 is still relatively young considering average life expectancy in the US is 76 lol
I'm also 34 years old and I barely see my friends. Some have moved to another city and others have children or a partner and barely have time to dedicate to friendship. I go to dance classes, to the gym but I can't make any new friends, a real friend, not a person with whom to have a dull 10-minute conversation. Where I live people are quite cold and lately it seems that we are generally losing the ability to connect with each other. It doesn't mean that I don't like solitude, I like spending time with myself but other times I need someone's company. And to finish my confession I will add that I am single and it is also difficult to find a partner, especially in real life and not through an app. Greetings from Spain ❤️
learn to flirt. It feels weird at first, but that ‘joking around’ is what guys want to. Go watch ‘ryan long’ he’s the best I’ve ever seen at it. Is always cracking jokes (flirting essentially).
@@marianavase8805 Same with me. Most of my friends are either out of state, married with kids, or unfortunately passed away. The technology boom has made people unable to socialize. Tbh it didn't seem hard finding a partner before the pandemic. But since then, it seems impossible. Dating apps are trash. And no one wants a real relationship now a days. But life can still be enjoyable. I just took a solo trip to Japan in honor of a friend who passed away and it was a great experience. Sometimes you just have to step far outside of your comfort zone to find friends with potential. People you can trust and count on.
This... is remarkable. You are disarmingly frank. You deserve a lot of support here on youtube, for the simple insights you have given to us around the world. Greetings from NZ.
Hey, I am armingly Frank
@@Frankmaui67 You have been very frank with me. I admire and respect that.
@@ThoughtfulAl I have sometimes been called a frank Frank
@@Frankmaui67So, you're so frank, that it causes others to become armed
@@trinidad510 lol armed and dangerous
Sometimes all a man needs is a good bag of chips and beer/soda to feel quite pleased. I agree with this whole-heartedly!
@ushima_ that's why I put soda too! 😁
@ushima_ I like any popcorners or Doritos cool ranch
Getting hammered
@ushima_pringles sour cream and onion 😊
I understand what he's saying. But he's still v lucky to have what he has right now, which he can't enjoy as he sees his demise in an evermore difficult environment. I feel society and norms are collapsing around us and the oncoming conditions will destroy us, am afraid, too. possible friends, socialising in these times are in same situation. Age also plays big at 50 onwards ie withdrawing.
Getting lonely is a normal emotion. I am 43 and live day to day traveling. I have no family anymore. All of my friends are either gone or far away. You have good days and bad days. Some people say they envy my life. But all they know is the traveling and nothing about me feeling lonely and sometimes lost in a world that I don't fit in with. I am more of an old fashion person and this new modern world confuses me. I just do the best that I can.
Valid
How are you today?
Oh believe me, people are really confused. just look at people who post on tiktok everyday
Omg, I feel so the same. Just that I dont travel. Hope you are doing well
@@bddybdz Doing well. Thanks
Your not alone. I'm 63, working full-time, most of my coworkers are much younger than me-its a lonely feeling
You need a hobby that you can share with other people.
what do u do for work
Many people feel like this, bro. All over the world. You're not the only one.
so true ♡
This channel is such a strange mix of self-own and therapy. But keep on going, brother, you are on the path of awakening.
The honesty is a little jarring but so refreshing to see this approach 😂
Is there really any bigger self-own than a Pepe avatar?
@@jonathanmccartney5809 Yeah, caring about silly avatars in the first place.
Thank you for your honesty. I’m 44 years old and have by now learned - and begun to accept and embrace - that life comes with an inbuilt sense of existential loneliness. It is not helped by the fact that the external world is so focused on materialism and success, that we quickly become strangers to ourselves and each other.
I used to desperately try to drown that out with socialising, alcohol and dating, when I was single. It is true that companionship and socialising with friends can temporarily remove the focus from this loneliness, but in the end, it is always there. It takes a radical acceptance of this to just relax and be in your own company. In a certain way, the loneliness is because we are separate from a core part of ourselves. That’s why we can often be the most lonely in a crowd (we don’t connect with, or feel at home in). When we radically and fully except that we are alone, and that is a paradox, people will be drawn to your calmness. Of course, there is probably a cultural element to this. In my understanding, Japanese people people don’t want to bother or be a burden on others, and will always maintain a dignified distance out of respect. Maybe that creates a distance, that can be lonely? I know this from other western Europeans visiting Japan, that it can be difficult to socialise. And someways, this is probably the opposite of the Anglo-Saxon bar culture, where conversation, even with strangers, it’s very easy, or like in the south of Europe, were extended groups of people hang out together in cafés or restaurants. I have been to Seoul and South Korea, so I have a certain firsthand experience of the correctness and respectful distance. So when part at least, I think I understand. Anyway, life is not easy, and often it can seem random and arbitrary on the surface. I guess that is universal😊 In reality though, I think we are here to learn, and that loneliness is trying to tell us something about connection inwards with deeper parts of ourselves.
Totally agree with your deepness. Stop worrying about this, you were made for a much greater job and role. you dont know the reason for your existence... and that life continues after death... The real point of life that is related to the eternity of the universe away from the temporary projects of buying a house or raising kids, not mentioning having fun and satisfying lusts.
Nothing is exciting about this life other than living it in harmony with its real meaning and in connection to its bigger context, which is before death and after....
Sitting in a closed room would put you in a disabled position to know what's beyond unless a paper was passed to you from under the door.
I am not trying to jump into conclusions, but such a paper must include in itself proofs of it being written and authored by a sincere intity trying to guide, not to divert, or manipulate you.
Japanese have taught the world how to make cars and electronics, medicine was written in latin, and business is done in english, but spirituality was revealed and known in the middle east, through a series of messages one copying the other in the case of it being corrupted by dishonest human beings.
As I had mentioned, this message must include proofs within about its sincerity and credibility... miraculous and preserved. Where a huge marvelous intity living beyond death and birth would never leave us alone, neither disoriented nor lost.
Am not asking you to have faith, but telling you about where to look and what to examine.
The last of the messages, the only 1 version unaltered book, preserved over centuries, with numerical, scientific, and eloquent miracles impossible to be gotten without a divine beyond super power... *The Quraan*.
ty, great comment
You have a two healthy kids and a wife. I would focus on that friend... At the end of the day your family is all that matters.
I feel ya brother. No friends, or family herre and about your age. It's hard to meet people at our age.
Thanks for your comment. Indeed, older we become harder make new friends
Bonjour dear ask 🐭❤
Go join a chess club or a hobby like that. It's the easiest way to find friends.
@@askjapan9669 dont worry, if you ever feel lonely, we all can be alone together. sending you and your family tons of hugs and loves
Watching you made me feel like I am listening to an older friend 🙂
I often spend time watching your videos when I am feeling lonely. It's nice to hear your stories and expression of feelings. Thanks for helping make the world feel a little smaller.
This man is extra bougie. Drinking pepsi out of a Boston wine glass! Doritos and pepsi needs to sponsor him ❤😊
That's too funny.
Love your comment 😂
Report of the Week needs to do a crossover video with this fine gentleman.
It's the antici...pation of him eating that first Dortito!🤣🤣
@@nickpavia9021 I never would have connected these dots but I’m so glad that you did.
I stopped wanting any friends after I turned 50 (now 66). I really enjoy my own time to read, watch CZcams, playing with my hobbies, riding my motorcycle, and occasionally going out to meet friends when I want. I don't enjoy hanging out with friends more than once in a great while, though. And right now, I am not lonely, and feel my life is fulfilling enough.
I'm 63 and I'm with you man!
YES.
im 20 and have this mindset - things are more peaceful
I feel the same way in my mid 40s as a woman. I love my peace, pampering myself, and enjoying my own interests with noone else's drama involved lol.
48 here. Still missing my friends. The good old days
I'm 41 years old guy from Indonesia. I can somewhat also relate with the loneliness feelings. Even though on the surface from the outside I might look like having a good life, but deep down inside, I often still feel alone & lonely by myself.
thanks for your comment.
Same here... I'm 28 years old and I have no friends. Thanks for sharing your thoughts... It's tragic, but the modern world has caused an epidemic of loneliness, friendship is rare. Greetings from Brazil
You're a really good speaker. You did this whole video in one take and I understood everything you said.
Wow, thanks for your comment.
@@askjapan9669your more normal than you think brother, would definitely chill with you and eat doritos n watch tv/video games if you lived close and I know I'm not the only one.
Your honesty & integrity are refreshing
I feel you. I may not be 50 years old, but I think like that, and it is very hard for me to make friends. I always enjoyed my alone time and there are very few people I like hanging out with.
At least you have family, many ppl are single😢
I am so glad to be single without brats
@@yeahtbh.161 who hurt you
@@anonymousanonym450 Nobody, that's why i'm content with my stress free life lol i was 100% freedom and it feels amazing.
@@anonymousanonym450 Nobody, I just hate kids :)
who hurt you is the better question.
@@yeahtbh.161 might be hard for you to accept this but your life would be immeasurably improved if you had children.
I am 35 and feel the same way. I hope this is a comfort knowing that you’re not alone because I am someone who has always been easily able to make friends, but I’m still lonely. Especially since the pandemic. I wonder if we are all experiencing a change since the pandemic. Love from America
Thanks for your comment. Pandemic was affecting a lot of people but in Japan before pandemic the loneliness in elderly became one of the biggest social problems in Japan
33 here and fell the same!
I love your videos, you’re very honest - which in a society like today’s is rare! Best wishes from Windsor UK 🇬🇧
Hey! Just found your channel and wanted to show some support. I too have been experiencing this, even though I'm in my 20s. Thanks for being candid with your thoughts, it's great to hear other's life experiences and point of views. It's strange, loneliness strikes at all life stages and ages, even if we are lucky enough to have a few people around us. Appreciate your honestly and your videos, can't wait to watch more of your videos
I am 48 and can relate to this a lot. I also have two young kids & feel the same way you talk about. Regards from Australia!
Thanks
this guy eating Doritos and drinking Pepsi, yet still looks like he's in his late 30's/early 40's is insane.
Wow, thanks.
I mean smoking and alcohol is what really physically changes someone. Foods like this not really lol.
Japanese people tend to age better than us Western folk. Partly due to their diet being better but I think it's mostly just great genetics. This dudes no exception, I would have guessed mid 30s, maybe 40 at most.
@@storzbickel4328 I have seen many westerners (including my only family) in their 40s that would still be passed by as age 30. Many of them come from various different countries though. Such as Germany, Bosnia, and UK.
@@CrewDino Right on dude. Stereotypically stupid CZcams comment argument. Of course some people and some family lines will age better than others. I'm 35yo Danish guy and most people think I'm 25 and I have a Japanese friend that's 40 and looks 10 years older than the guy in this video. This is all irrelevant information. Overall, the Asian race shows the physical effects of aging less drastically than Caucasians. Don't get butthurt, doesn't mean they are superior, just straight up science, anyone that's traveled around Asia knows this, not as an opinion, but a standard basic fact. If you think otherwise, you know little to nothing of the race. Google it baka kemo sabe
Single and living alone for half a decade now, no Friday parties for me. Love to cook good food for myself, clean my apartment, kitchen, dishes. Call my mom and sister every alternate days. I am loving it.
Why like this? Loved a woman and lost her back in 2019. Never met anyone special after 2019, tried and gave up. It’s not that bad. And yes, my happiness comes from doing things for others unconditionally.
You seem to have lovely daily life. Only I want is one or two male close friends in same age as me
A Friday party for 1 😊🎉
It’s Friday night and this 50 year old family man is spending the night with enjoying your videos. Thanks.
*I'm 45, have a wife, an almost 2 year old daughter and a son due in about 3 months. I had my time. I partied like a rockstar for 18 years. It's my family's time. I don't need friends. It's all for them. It's legacy building time - until I see my Dad again.*
Nah bro, you can still make time for yourself and your own passions and take care of your fam.
You can have friends AND take care of your family lol thinking otherwise is really sad tbh
Dude, I’m 49 years old. I used to go out with co-workers in my 20’s while working in the tech industry. Been there done that. I am happy to stay home with my husband. Then in the weekend we stay in our yard and dig dirt until we are about to pass out of exhaustion, that is what we call a fun weekend. People come by to talk to us in our yard. My recommendation is that you start growing plants. I have started a collection of Japanese Maples and conifers.
It’s a nice idea but in Japan unfortunately there are no gardens. Gardens are incredibly rare.
@@user-xf3ft6yd7v Bonsai!
I agree! Nothing makes me and my wife happier then when someone compliments are yard. A fun date for us is going to the garden store to look at plants & finding a new place for them.😊
At least you have your husband
Yeah life is a evolution of changes...a journey where you become more discerning with what you like as you get older.
I find I don't waste my time of things of the past anymore but focus on the more profound and meaningful aspects which makes life most enjoyable for me.
I'm from the UK. In my humble opinion - when you get to 50, you can count your best friends on one hand, and probably still have 4 fingers left over!
Try not to be too lonely. Inspire others and educate us about Japan - we are very interested!
Thanks for your comment. Japanese people is very unique in terms of living in the doomed country
Lol😂😂😂 four fingers left
I am a life long raging alcoholic and addict. I got to a point with my alcoholism and drug abuse where I did not want to drink or use anymore but I was unable to stop because of the addictions. I decided I would quit drinking or I would die trying. I quit everything. I made it, I survived.
When I did quit drinking, it was the greatest achievement of my life. I had to isolate myself from all my friends to quit drinking. I lost most of them over time because I was so reclusive. I am now by far in the best financial, legal and mental state of my life. Every year gets better for me.
I lost most my friends but that is because in reality most of them really weren't my friends. They were simply drinking and drugging buddies. I didn't know what real friendship was until I became sober. Suprisingly the only friends I have left now are the friends I had BEFORE I started drinking or have made since I quit drinking. I am alone at my PC almost every night not just Friday. I am not sad, I am not lonely. I do it by choice. I like being alone, I am at peace. I will be your friend in Florida. - 12 years sober
Thanks for your comment. Many Japanese middle aged people don’t have any close friends but they are happy because they choose so
@@askjapan9669 I can fully understand that concept in Japan. I now have time to think, analyze situations and focus on what is important. When I drank it was easier for me to socialize but it was because I was drinking. It was all really just a waste of time and money, I see now I didn't really even enjoy it. Now that I am sober I realize I am happy being alone, I don't need constant company. I do go out maybe once a month or so with a friend or two to dinner or something. I could go out more I just don't choose to do it anymore. I really enjoy your videos. 🏆
Congratulations! keep going!!! I choose not to drink anymore too,im a dancer and thats not helps me at all.
@@dulcedeinvierno1 👍😀
That's great!
I'm 23. I'm in a similar boat.
All my interests often relate to Japan. I love collecting old vinyl from the 80s, particularly Japanese. I enjoy learning and playing guitar and just overall hanging out on my own. It was something I learnt how to do when I was younger.
But, visiting Japan last December gave me an eye opener. I went to Golden Gai and one night, I stumbled upon this bar that played old Japanese vinyl. The songs they were playing? Hey it was my type of music. They played old 80s Japanese idol songs that I knew off, that I had collected on vinyl personally.
When I told the owner and some of the folk who were there, (All about your age) they were shocked. How can a white Australian man at age 23 like their music? Sounds impossible right? Well it stopped me feeling lonely, even just for one night. Talked and listen to idol music and just the impact it had. It was such a relief for me. And you know it gave me a positive feeling that even though I dont have anyone now I can relate to in terms of this hobby, there are people out there who I can get along with and have a good night with just talking about music. I've saved the bar for next time I visit Japan.
I'm sharing this experience because as a 23 year old living in Australia with interests of the past of a foreign country, its very hard to make friends. But now, I have goals to try and make my life better and to come to Japan after meeting those old folk.
Starting hobbies you are interested, learning an instrument, joining clubs, maybe even get into Karaoke! You might meet people who are feeling the same as you. I'm looking forward to coming back and visiting that bar in golden gai, its my new happy place. But until then, I am thinking of ways I can bring my hobby over here and introduce younger folk to it. One day, I'd like to open a record store here in Australia and sell Japanese records in the hopes I can find like minded folk.
I am in a city in North America. I have no friends due to me pushing everyone away like a fool when I was younger. I have had zero friends for 10 plus years. I have only my mother in my life that I visit weekly. Also a twin sister that hates me because I am too different from her. I wish we were close. The city I live in is super anti social. People are shocked at how hard it is to meet new friends or partners. Because you meet people through friendship circles. It has been tough. I really understand but I quit drinking too recently to save money. I am happy I found your videos.
you’re a twin? so cool
@@davesmith5939 Yea it's cool. Just want to be closer to her someday. Thanks man.
Hi, maybe it’ll help if you write her a letter just frankly saying you want to be closer to her. Sometimes feelings are more easier expressed through writing than through verbal communication. It’s just that your “someday” sounded so sad. It sounds like never :( Take hold of your loved ones, don’t wait. Family is truly all you’ve got in the end and you never know when something can take them away from you. Bad news comes from nowhere, and I’m speaking from personal experience. Take initiative while she’s still alive and well. Wish you the best.
Seattle?
I feel like youtube is a good outlet for this kind of thing. It helps to have a community, even if it is virtual. If you happen to visit London there's a pint (of beer) from me with your name on it!
Thanks for your comment.
Im from 'Oranda' and Olived in Japan for a year and what youre doing, speaking about your feelings and emotions is not many japanese are able to do. You are a great example. amazing ❤
appreciate your honesty.. greetings from Muscoy, California 👋
Wow, thanks.
hello sir from Canada. I am 29 years old in Canada and can relate also to this. A lot of coworkers are like 40-50s year old.
Its like for anything , the older you get , the more accurate your expectations are
I don’t know why this is cracking me up.. laughter in a good way. Your candid thoughts are very relatable! And relaxing, no pretentiousness. 😂🤣🙏🏼
Thanks for your comment. I’m so lonely and very sad indeed
I’m a 27-year-old man from Canada who has no friends. I spend most of time after work studying Japanese. I think it’s important to find a hobby to occupy our time. I think CZcams vlogging may fulfil that for you. I have subscribed to your channel and I am looking forward to your future videos!
I agree, also gave him a subscribe. Interesting to see other people from around the world experiencing the same feelings. Also, I'm going to the shop now to buy some Doritos lol
Dude hobbies cannot replace social interaction. Go out and meet people.
@@funkymonk5344 I have social anxiety so it is difficult to befriend others.
How do you learn Japanese after work? Please share the advice. How many hours a day or weekly do you spend learning? What methods and approaches do you use? What materials? Thank you.
@@QuadDamage-tt7sj Hello, I am not sure what learning methods will work for you but I can tell you my story. I have ADHD so I have a lot of difficulty using textbooks to learn, I cannot concentrate. Thus, I use SRS-based services. I use WaniKani for learning Kanji and vocabulary and BunPro for learning grammar (you can also use it to learn vocabulary but I am not since I'm learning vocabulary through WaniKani). I spend around 2 hours everyday studying Japanese. I have been learning since October of last year and I have learnt 400+ Kanji, 1,000+ words, and 50+ grammar points (but I did not study much in December since I was on vacation). Keep in mind that WaniKani and BunPro are not free. The first thing you should learn is Hiragana and Katakana, there are free apps and CZcams videos you can use to learn them, it should not take longer than 1-2 weeks. Start learning Kanji, vocabulary, and grammar as soon as you learn Hiragana and Katakana.
I can imagine having a family alleviates a bit of the loneliness
Thanks for your comment. They are only people that I have
Yeah, I feel like my plate would be more than full with both a job and a family.
I have no family, nothing. It sucks but what can you do
@@askjapan9669 they are the only ones you need bro you need to spend more time with them and work as little as possible in order to reduce stress
Hi bro, I understand how you feel... work out what you want from the job... get it and move on and build a life around things that truly matter... no loss from not hanging out with fake co-workers.... such relationships are pointless.
Game the matrix... dun give in to it.
Stay strong for yourself and your love ones.
life is an inward journey.... no amount of kids, friends etc.. will fill that void.. search for real meaning.. a higher purpose.. that for me is Islam. True submission to the one who made you and brought you into existence. Serving the creator will give you fulfillment. Everything else is trainspotting. Sorry not trying to preach and i really appreciate your videos and your honesty.
My friend, the best way to make friends is to go to a concert or some kind of event that you enjoy. You know why this is great? You have people who enjoyed the same thing as you all around. All you have to do is get out there and try to strike up a conversation. Always pay people compliments and potentially offer to buy them a shot/drink
I really enjoy your honesty and openness in this topic, my friend! There's no shame in having no friends. Better to be alone and content than in the wrong crowd. I feel that, as we age, making friends is harder because of other responsibilities like raising a family, making money, and everything else that gets in the way. The truth is...if one wants friends than there's a lot effort involved and we're all JUST TOO TIRED from living
Being with oneself is not a bad thing. Being with oneself happily is one of great things in life. It does not only brings joy but also peace into a life. ❤
Thanks for your comment. I often question myself what is happiness for myself
I know how you feel. I dont really drink much anymore, so bars don't help me meet people.
I recently found a running club that meets once a week, and I found some friends there. And there are people there of all ages. One runner is in his late 60s.
Thanks for your comment. I sometimes lose my identity what it the goal of my life
very nice insight and very true. as i turned 50, i realized i also don't go out as much. I only have a handful of friends at work and would rather spend Friday nights at home, with glass of wine and a nice movie. I'm happy that way.
"The older you become, the less likely you make friends". You're absolutely right about this. I just turned 30. Once we graduate high school, we begin losing touch with friends. Old friends dont reach out, and we might have one or two friends left if we are lucky. Im the type who puts forth effort into friendships but its sad to see others not put the same effort into reaching out asking to hangout. I dont understand why people dont make an effort into maintaining friendships. I often wonder why it was so easy making and maintaining friendships as a kid compared to being an adult. I guess people are too focused on their job, families, and being too tired. You are not alone. I understand what you're going through.
I agree I’ve tried reconnecting and I have no car so it’s even harder.
Playing videogames is the best friend activity
Its good to see there are people who have same thinking and problems ,its the beauty of social media that you can find people with relatable life like you.
"....and that's why I drink Pepsi." Truer words have never been spoken.
I'm about 10 years younger than you, but I am seeing this too. It' definitely true that as you get older, you seem to make friends less. I think part of it is routine. We, as older people, are less likely to take risks like younger people or be adventurous and more likely to stick to what we know. It makes less opportunities for spontaneous friendships to form.
You are a very nice man, very respectful and compassionate for your family and yourself. Stay true to yourself and find hobbies to enjoy and friends will follow. I recommend just putting yourself out there and find places to go, such as a coffee shop and go there regularly and one day you’ll meet friends. ❤
Thanks for sharing something so raw, genuine, and unfiltered. Something to consider. Maybe pick up or spend more time on a hobby that you enjoy (like biking or going outdoors) and you can find friends through that hobby instead of just your coworkers. But I understand that there isn't always time for hobbies and that things might be different in Japan. Greetings from the U.S!
The tradition to hang out with your coworkers after work basically is an underlying punishment when you switch your line of work/ company, because as the new guy it will take a long time to get to the same level as the people that know each other for years.
In my humble opinion it makes things more complicated.
However, it can be combated if you can make new friends that are not related to your workplace. You will have them regardless if you go from one place to the other. I would suggest to find look outside your company for people.
Wow, thanks.
I’m in my late 50s and married to a Japanese woman. OMG ! The definition of loneliness! I would be interested in hearing your thoughts about Japanese marriages. Thanks.
yes can be interesting to know more about it
Is she cold? Makes you feel alone ?
Im 51. I totally can relate. What you are doing there is normal. All of us in our generation are going through the same thing, reminesing about our younger years in the 90s, how the world and work has changed, how we no longer fit in it or go out with friends and drink at the bars and clubs. And its fine. I dont think its lonelyness but more of missing how things once were and saddened that its gone and having a longing for our youth again..
Still doing the little things we enjoy like we did in our 20s like eating doritos, drinking a soda and playing video games. Happy moments are the simple ones done in peace.
Thanks, I am glad to hear the same ages’ voices
Man, thanks for sharing. You're not alone. We're here. You are a good guy. I'm very glad to see a japanese sharing his feelings. Keep going!
idk if this weird dude but your voice is super soothing and helps me sleep
Thanks for your comment
You will spend 90% of the time you will ever spend with your children by the time they become adults. You are blessed with a good job and wonderful family in a safe harmonious country, most men would happily trade places with you.
It's the classic thinking of what he hasn't, rather than what he has.
I don’t know what to tell you my man. Everyone struggles with existential despair at some point. Finding meaning is music, art, weightlifting and developing deep relationships helps me. Being at home alone doing nothing makes my cognition spiral downwards. Best wishes to you and your family and I hope you can find joy in the smaller things in life. You’re not alone!
Finally he opened the doritos. i was waiting 😂
I have msg allergy, somehow the doritos in the thumbnail inviting me here 😂
I love deep talking. I stopped hang out with coworker after hit 29 y.o ..now I am much older and old fashion. I don't like see people smoke or drink alcohol. I hate seeing people littering. I hate see people drink soda 😅😂 I hate see lazy people. Some people call me grandmother and some call me health minister.
Full support to have this kind of conversation, you have many friends here also getting money from youtube 😊
It t definitely gets harder as we get older. If it weren’t for my hobby of climbing I would have zero new friends as an adult.
Japan also has some of the best climbing gyms in the world if you’re ever interested in trying something new.
Thanks for your comment. We have more entertainments than we need
Congratulation for your very candid, honest, wonderful videos, you think before speaking in a word who rewards instead who does the exact opposite. Your voice and tempo give us all time to reflect on your words and ourselves. I am from Italy and I have been living in Thailand for the last 45 years. I am 60 years old now and I am exactly as you, I never go out to drink, I am at home with my wonderful wife and share with her happy moments and as you I am not good at all in small talking...Unfortunately it seems that in this age introverts are seen negatively while I believe that us, the quiet, introverted, have a lot to give to this world. If one day I come to Japan I would like to a friend of yours!!
thanks for your comment. コメントありがとうございます。
Ultimately we're all alone in this life. But it's nice to go out and have fun sometimes. I'm 70, and have been raising kids for 23 years. Not much social life either, so I'm happy just being with myself. My marriage fell apart but I have my kids. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I can relate. Enjoy your Pepsi and Doritos. Thank God for the internet, it keeps me busy.
6:28 that crunch says it all
🤣🤣
I'm 43 and my family are my "friends" as well, but it's really not the same for companionship. I feel like it was once easier to make friends in America than it is now; everyone I come across seems lonely these days. I definitely identify with quietly enjoying your Doritos & Pepsi, however. I always try to find a "treat" for the end of the day when I have time to myself.
Thanks for your comment. Drinking Beer market has been shrinking here in
I used to hang out with way to many “friends” believe me, you’re better off the way you are. I was once a party animal who now LOVES solitude. Great English by the way. 👍👍
I really appreciate that you are speaking honestly and freely about your life. It is a rare thing. Cheers man.
You can always make new friends. Age is just a number.
Go to a Gym, or find a group wich has the same interests as you have /hiking, biking, fishing../
You can start a conversation with others, they will *not* rip your head of for it :)
Just go outside your confort zone.
I do it this way, as n Introvert myself, its fun to play a role of an extrovert for a short time
Thanks for your comment. I understand what I should do but I can’t
@@askjapan9669 Hey, i understand...The older we get, the harder we are on ourself cause we seem only to lose stuff in life, stuff, health, friends, family...
That's why I enrolled in a Law School last year, and this new experience kicked me out of my comfort zone.
Life is about experiencing new stuff because if we don't grow, we else is there? 😁😁😁😁
Thank you for sharing.
thanks
I am so happy i found you!
I’m 26 years this autumn and i enjoy when I am alone.
If you think that's bad I'm 23 years old with no friends, no girlfriend or wife, and my parent's have poor health and will probably die before I turn 30 years old. And I'm struggling to find a good job too after graduating 4 months ago. But on the positive side I do have a plan. I have lots of plans actually. And I recently started putting those plans into action. For example, one of my goals is to become the strongest version of myself, physically. So I designed a 10 year fitness plan that involves everything from weightlifting to calisthenics to boxing to swimming to biking. Another one of my plans is to become rich. So I planned out exactly what kind of career I can get with my degree and how many hours I should be working to achieve this goal. And I've also started researching a ton about stocks and investing. So what is my point anyways? Reflect on your life and find out what you really want. Then come up with a plan. Finally ignore everything else and dedicate yourself to that plan.
Shit I'm on the same boat, turning 23 this month and graduated university 5 months and I'm still unemployed. I also have some plans and have been working out since last year. Good luck bro, let's make it happen.
You need to join the Yakuza buddy.
Stumbled across this video somehow and can really relate. Something happens at 50 and you start questioning everything. It is true that it is much harder to meet people later in life. I have had groups of friends in every decade of my teens, 20s, 30s and 40s. I can say that, for myself, I lost a lot of the zeal for life I used to have. That being written, I have really tried to push outside my comfort zone and do things that make me get out more. I started a martial arts practice years ago which has given me some social interaction, and recently started a strength training workout at a local gym. It has helped and makes me feel better just getting out and doing something hard. I can't say as I have met friends at these places, as there are more younger people doing these activities. At least it gets me out and makes me stronger. Middle age is a challenging time, so I completely understand where you are coming from. Try to enjoy time with your wife and kids....I am divorced with 2 kids, so its a little more challenging for me. Keep at the youtube...its refreshing
I am 30 and I have no kids but I observe that people that would in your younger days be eager to hang out will slowly distance themselves from my friends that have kids as maybe they feel like they cannot relate or that theyve changed cause they had them(which is not the case besides the added responsibility), I think being also an office worker the environment is one of intrigue and a web of relationships that are complicated and change often, I do not try to seek to go out too often with office co-workers cause I just do not feel like I relate to them, I think that the best way to find people like you is to find a hobby that allows you to spend time with people that are like minded and enjoy the same passions as you so you do not feel like you cannot relate, I do not even think that the age difference matters especially for things like gaming and airsoft as there are many hobbies enjoyed by all ages,
I enjoy hearing another perspective on these topics thanks for the video
if you see japanese working culture you will realise many of them do not have the energy left over to do any hobbies... Choices are, do less overtime and be socially ostracized and get less chances at promotion... or give up your life for work.
You need some kind of shared vision or journey with others to get the type of happiness you seek.
The older you get the smaller the circle gets.
Thanks for your comment. I agree
But why though?
Not all the young people have friends,why its so normal have friends?? it can be a choice been alone to.
Bro I am 27 and feel lonely many times, I am happy that I have my family. My family made me realise that I am actually not alone as I think I was.
True, my family my precious
im 23 and Im feeling this too heh. The problem is that it's hard for me to converse with people because I have limited knowledge. I try to talk about the other person's interest but sometimes it can get tiring because it can be hard to keep up or offer any input.
I am an American and I find your channel and life in Japan to be very fascinating, not sure if you drink at all but I would love to buy you a beer and ask you questions about Japan.
Edit: oops, I commented too early. You say in the video that you do drink sometimes
Thanks for your comment. Just give me your questions or requests
sending love from Canada
Thanks
I simply love your channel. Hugs!!!
I have never enjoyed being tied down to having lots of " friends." And I stopped the rare drinking after work in my early 30s. Home and my spouse and dogs and my many interests and maintaining our home is all I need in my life. I exercize, meditate and have lost my ego on purpose and have been blessed with a major spiritual awakening in my life as well. Life is what you manifest it to be...everything is happening for you-- good or bad...and not to you. Sending you some positivity. .
I feel same at 29 year old
Wow, thanks for your comment.
In America, we call this "Lonely Friday Nights"!
Thanks for your comment. Very interesting
Thanks for sharing in such an honest way. You sound very grounded in reality to me. You're definitely not full of self pity which is an easy trap to fall into. I've been living in Japan for over 20 years now and my Japanese wife and I have no kids. I often feel lonely myself. Japan can be an isolating country. You are lucky you have kids! I'm 53 (very soon) and I don't like going out to bars like I did when I was young. Most of my old friends are either gone back to their country or heavy drinkers. But I'm lucky to have a wonderful wife :)
your english is really good, すごい !
Thanks for your comment. I will do my best
Very relaxing. True 90s kid.
Thanks
There is something very satisfying about all of your videos. I think because i can relate yo how you feel. Youre exposing youself to humility which is very cool to me.
😂😂😂 That cold pepsi and doritos combo is a good one.
Watching your videos honestly fills me with joy :D
Your videos are so real and chill, you seem like an amazing man that gives everything for your family!
I hope you have a nice weekend, thanks for sharing your thoughts. I also like the ending.. it's like damn these Doritos are hitting the spot, better end the video there lol
Thanks a lot. I will buy another Doritos.
I think that's the way the world is now, spending our times alone with not many friends , I feel covid changed alot of us 😊
I wish I could have a best friend to be together.
@@askjapan9669 may I ask where ur wife is
if i lived in japan i'd totally be your friend. you seem like such a kind nice guy! i wish you all the best my japanese brother; May good fortune come your way x
You feel alone and we are here on the other side of the world in Brazil and we want to show solidarity with you, a good person.
Meeting new people is a tough thing as we get older, establishing new friends and relationships most certainly become rarer as well. With this said, you my new friend are not alone, know that. I am your new friend here near Seattle WA, I hope we may enjoy a beer together sometime. Best for now, George
Caroline Winkler has a video about how to make friends as an adult. One of the tips is that you have to work on it as if it is your job, meaning if you don't feel like going out, meeting new people and communicating with them, still to do it. And be ready to take rejection and move on until you find the people you feel good hanging out with and who also want to make friends. I don't know if that is realistic in Japan, but since you are a person who thinks outside the box, you can probably find other people who feel like you do with who you can socialize once in a while.