Pick up the phone! [Rita Dawson]

I grew up in Cleveland OH, I had great fiends and good neighbors, but I always felt that I could never share what was going on inside. I started struggling with drugs and alcohol in my mid 20's. Age 25 when I know it was a problem. Since a young girl I struggled with low self worth, I never felt good enough and all I wanted was to fit it. Most of the time I had feelings of loneliness and isolation. I never knew how to manage my feelings and emotions. I was told I was the sensitive one. In my younger years I hated drugs and alcohol and always swore I would never touch the stuff.
At age 25, I had emergency surgery. I lost an ovary and tube, at that time I thought my purpose in life was to be a mother (I lost my mother at age 3) for me it never happened. I felt hopeless and helpless. This is when I tried drugs and believed it solved all my problems. I felt alive for the first time. I was social and I could be whatever anyone needed me to be. It worked for a while until it didn't. When the drugs stopped taking all my pain away, I would move on to another drug. Shortly after I was in my first inpatient treatment center at Glenbeigh. I never believed I was as bad as other patients there. I compared myself right out the door. I have been to 4 inpatient treatment centers and 1 detox hospital. I thought the trick to remaining sober was willpower in order to recover. I was in and out of treatment for 13 years.
I went to my last inpatient treatment on 9/14/97. I was broken and shell of myself. I realized I needed to make changes in my life that one else could do it for me but me. I thought about suicide several time but was too afraid to do it. I wanted God to do it for me. I saw a friend on the street and he asked me if he could get me back in treatment would I go? I answered yes I would. Recovery was all that was left me me. It took a couple of weeks to get me in. It gave me time to reflect on what choice I was going to make .I had to be all in or nothing was going to work. In the past I half measured the program. I pick and choose what I was going to do, which never worked out for me. I surrendered the day I walked into Glenbeigh.
My life today is a miracle, I never believed I could or would get sober. Recovery has afforded me more than I could have ever imagined. I had struggles in my early recovery but I never used, I gained insight into whatever I go through it will pass, as long as I continue to do the next right thing. I returned to school and received my Associates, Bachelors and then my Masters in Social Work. I have a great career which allows me to assist others with substance use disorders. Today I get to be the best I can be, which is amazing. I cannot express the Gratitude I have for those who love me until I was able to love myself.

[@jlong0w]

I ABSOLUTELY Love you Rita. You are a power of example everywhere you go. I'm glad you are exactly who you are. ❤

[@OntheRoadofRecovery]

She's the best.