Recover From MAJOR LIFE Change and Come Back STRONGER By Doing THIS | Dave Hollis on Impact Theory
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- čas přidán 2. 08. 2024
- In one of the worst times in history, people across the entire world simultaneously experienced unexpected change and loss beyond anything ever experienced in recent history. The response to such life altering events has varied drastically from person to person and country to country. Some people found opportunities where none existed before, while others sat in disbelief not sure how to move forward or what to do. Dave Hollis has gone through his own sudden changes over the last couple of years, not related to the pandemic, and they’ve been the kind of changes that challenge your identity and the core of who you say you are and who you think of yourself to be.
On the other side of these unexpected life events, he’s emerged with an experience to share about what standing in fear looked like while turning what was utterly terrifying into an exhilarating experience worth sharing.
Dave shares his journey of losing everything to find everything else he was capable of creating and more once he learned how to construct a new identity, a purpose, and fulfillment through courage. He reminds us in his latest book, Built Through Courage, “the antidote to fear is a plan.” Do you have a plan in place to help you deal with the unexpected changes life is throwing your way?
“It is not until we've lost everything that we can do anything” -Tyler Durden (Fight Club)
Order Dave Hollis new book, Built Through Courage: www.amazon.com/Built-Through-...
SHOW NOTES:
0:00 | Introduction Dave Hollis
1:38 | Unexpected Life Changes
8:18 | Adjusting to New Reality
16:33 | Who You Want To Be
23:34 | Inner Voice Guidance
32:32 | Fulfillment and Purpose
34:56 | Leaving the Known
38:28 | Built Through Courage
45:38 | Stuck in Your Story
50:29 | Toxic Positivity
56:34 | Tested to New Depths
1:02:51 | Becoming Is A Decision
QUOTES:
“There is no control. There's only the way that we respond to the circumstances that life presents” [3:22]
“The place I had to start, to be honest, was really getting intimate with my fear. Because most of why my imagination had been lost was because there was so much fear around trying to figure out something that I'd never contemplated.” [6:50]
“I got to at least build the sail, I gotta put it up so that when the wind starts to come, I'm actually prepared to move forward.” [11:36]
“You think good things are going to come out of this, you will become something because of the post traumatic growth that can come out of the hardest thing that you've ever experienced.” [22:02]
“We're willing to stay inside of suffering that we know, rather than facing the possibility of something new, because the knowns of that existing suffering feel predictable [...] The challenge in pushing away though, is that that safe harbor is surrounded on all sides by fear.” [39:58]
“People get stuck because they let the circumstances of what's happening in real time, cast a probability future, a likely to happen next future, that is clouded by the subjectivity of what they're currently experiencing.” [49:30]
“The way that I feel about my faith is fundamentally different because of having to have my faith tested. I was forced to my knees.” [57:24]
“In the moment, when it feels like life is ending, you forget that there's so many firsts, and so many nexts and so many beautiful moments.” [1:01:17]
Follow Dave Hollis:
Website: mrdavehollis.com/
Instagram: / mrdavehollis
Twitter: / mrdavehollis
LinkedIn: / dave-hollis-b5a48671
Facebook: / mrdavehollis
CZcams: / @davehollis7726
What strategies do you use to re-gain composure?
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By accepting it, making the best out of it, keep on growing, refining strategies, being self reflective 😊
Gym, meditation, journaling
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I run....fresh air , loud music....& I cry unvmcontrollably at times....I don't mind venting....then once I'm calmer....I reset & get back to work
*“You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending...”*
*―C. S. Lewis*
You'll watch an entire Netflix show even when the first episodes are slow and boring just because someone told you "it gets better." *But what if you looked at your goals like that and watched your life get better instead?*
This 👌🏾
*I love this topic.*
My friend's suicide was the turning point in my life. It gave me a new sense of meaning and purpose. It helped me to quit my unfulfilling job, transform my mindset, and move halfway across the world to start a business. Pain can be used as a very powerful tool to carve out a better future.
If you're struggling, know that there are unlimited possibilities of how amazing your future can become. You've got this.
Create yourself and create your own world. Nobody cares how you feel, think, or even if you die, so you might as well be happy. Keep your focus outwards at all times and never inwards. Also, be social and don't take life so seriously. That's the key to success in life :)
That's Amazing. What a way to pivot and honor your friends life, brief as it may have been. Good on you!
Love this!
Here are my 10 extra tips to INCREASE your daily manifestations that I’ve learned over the years..👇🏾
1. Practice gratitude every morning. When you wake up, list everything that you are grateful for and feel that gratitude in your core. Feel free to write things down in a journal so it is easy for you to remember.
2. Replace your negative thoughts with positive ones. Every time you feel a negative thought coming on, make a positive spin on it right away.
3. Take ownership for things that happen in your life. It's easy to blame others however you will feel much better when you realize that most issues stem from us.
4. ALWAYS believe that good things are about to happen. By being open to new possibilities you are inviting abundance into your life.
5. Remember that like attracts like so you get back whatever you put out, whether it is good or bad. So do good AND received good.
6. Meditate for five minutes a day. During this time focus on how you want your life to be; but place your focus on how you feel AND feel that feeling as if you have already accomplished those goals.
7. Step outside of your comfort zone. Stop playing it safe and make that decision to finally go for your dreams.
8. Focus on activities that make you feel truly happy. When you are truly happy you have the best vibrational frequency to manifest your desires.
9. Avoid the naysayers and surround yourself with people who only lift you higher. Downers will be downers, don't let them drag you into their misery.
10. Don't be afraid to dream and know that you are always supported by the universe.
Hope this helps!
- Your Friendly Neighborhood Coach ❤
Thanks for sharing!
Well said!
💯
So true! 🙏
I made a decision over 2 years ago to go sober after I made a terrible mistake involving my wife and my family. I have had to re-learn how to navigate the world through sober eyes, and unfortunately had to do this through a pandemic as well. everything I am hearing from this is really hitting home.
You got this!
This was completely inspiring. I had a similar dissonance with reality when I left a job that consumed my identity. However going through the pain and loss of that opportunity allowed me to recognise that I was the asset and that we bring ourselves to each role we encounter.
*"Everything in life is easier when you don't concern yourself with what other people are doing."*
The chances of you seeing this comment is pretty low, but if you did, *I hope you have an amazing day.* 🖤
Saw it!!! ❤️
Love it!!
You too ...🌞...💞
You too 💟
wowwww, i felt so represented in his history: I'm 48 years old, divorced 11 months ago, struggling financialy because I reinvented my self intio a ConTech entrepreneur so I have been angry with god too sometimes. His story touched me in a very profound way so I thank you both guys for this blessed opportunity.
Incredible person reading this, you have everything there is to succeed in life, whatever that is for you. Go after the life you truly want NOW! ✨
I believe in you! Love - Nat ❤️
I'm sorry but I'm totally useless.
Thank you! You as well!!! I believe in you! ❤️
@@bmessier2 I feel useless sometimes but guess what, we're all worth it 👌🏾. I love you.
@@faithasibi3808 , Thanks bro! That actually made me feel better!
Thank u
I can relate to that opening quote.
I moved back to my country during the lockdown.
For my last three months before moving I was working a 9 to 5 and spending my free time learning to code, trying to carve a new future for myself.
Well, my mother offered me to move in to her house, not needing to work or pay for anything, not even for food. I did so and my motivation went to the ground. I had plenty of free time, and yeah, sometimes I worked for like twelve hours straight, but sometimes I wouldn't work for 2 weeks... I still finished my app and published it, but it took me forever.
Having the certainty that you're fine, that you have someone who will always be there to sustain you economically is terrible for motivation. While when I had to work a job I didn't like in a foreign country I had plenty of motivation to spend all of my free time working on a new project to change my life.
This hits so close to home. Thank you so much for this Tom. The discussion about being angry with God and not understanding in the moment but still knowing that God has my best interest and is sovereign truly fortifies my belief that I am not alone in thinking this way. I also believe that The Lord can easily take my anger and still love me infinitely. I feel this so much.
100%
To the *incredible person* that's seeing this, I wish you all the best in life❤ don't ever blame yourself, accept things and go forward. Your smile is precious and the keys to a happy life is in your hands.
*"It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light." - Aristotle Onassis*
aristotle had one of the most miserable life in existence, especially his latter years
All dreamers out there this is temporary situation it will pass don't lose hope keep going you are on the way to success don't give up 💪 ✊ ✊ 💪 💪
🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏❤️❤️❤️🌿praying
@@rhondapelletier2141 you can receive more from my channel 😊
*"Keep your face always toward the sunshine - and shadows will fall behind you." - Walt Whitman*
Yes! "The obstacle is the way." Losing is great feedback, and contains great freedom in it.
Having come out of a narcissistic relationship, this has been inspirational especially having lost all sense of self while combating the guilt that surrounds it. It is possible is what I hear, and that's hope enough to becoming active and live the life I aspire to live. 💜
The antidote to fear is planning! Facts! 🙏✊
Love how the way Tom recognises his ability to reinvent himself and compliments him on it. As someone who has lost health job home wife and i now live in local counil housing i need to get this book try climb out this mess somehow for the sake of my kids. This does make me judge people like Dave who has the stability, opportunity and flexibility to seek help where appropriate. Suffering is less severe with money to create opportunity
Well said, he had never ever been even close to losing everything. It’s so annoying…hope you find your place 💕
Mr. Dave Hollis had sent me a video while he met my parents at Epic Weekend, and the words he sent me were so powerful. He's an inspirational individual and was so excited to see him on Impact Theory, that I watch as a daily routine.
Thank you Dave for sharing your vulnerable self with all you've been going through since 2020. I've been running along side you with some similar challenges.
This is the most centered and eloquent interview I've seen of him yet. Wish him well.
I'm in a sea of sharks where everyone is pushing each other down to rise above. It's hard not to be that guy as-well. Really just want to focus on my own path and build others through my own success and work.
“What made you turn around?” - I love how Tom immediately recognizes this moment as a turning point and wants to delve deeper into what it takes to break away from limiting behavior towards behavior that actually helps people progress.
Wow so tender we can really get thru the bottom of any situation from the top to humiliating rejection to balanced freedom.. thanks for sharing Dave!!!!
Great episode and very relatable what I had gone through in my journey. I've actually said that I was grateful for the hardships that I went through in my life because it taught me alot about myself and pulled me out the darkness into the light. I love myself today I love life and I love this beautiful world.💚💙💖
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Love seeing Dave Hollis on IT. he is really getting it done right now
I really appreciated seeing Tom in this light, you can tell he’s talking to a friend, he’s just got a different vibe to him, connecting to his intuitive nature in a warmer way… on another note, I have to listen to this again, I’m walking in & out, missing a lot, but a few nuggets really hit for me.
To answer Tom's question about why people get stuck and can't move forward after a divorce.... A divorce is a major life disruption. As Dave said, you are forced to go through an identity change. Often, people are blindsided and didn't see it coming. Time with your kids is taken from you. Sometimes, that's 50% of the time. Sometimes more. The future you planned on is taken from you. This often equates to emotional trauma. That can lead to ongoing depression. Persistent Depressive Disorder is mild, high-functioning depression that prevents you from experiencing joy in life and can go on and on and on. If you aren't self aware enough to seek professional help or can't afford professional help, you never break out of that mode.
Hi Tom thank you for for the opportunity to see life in a different perspective to see life - pushing forward on my new life thank you so much to have this positive conversation.
I broke up with my girlfriend because I became self absorbed in my personal problems I was going through, I wanted to get back with her and since we’ve gotten back together she doesn’t show affection anymore like she used to and I know I’ve lost her, I’ve never felt the pain like this before of being so helpless to save the best thing in my life, it just seems so impossible to be able to get over this pain
If you TRULY LOVE her, let her GO........IF it’s meant to be........IT will.........❤️🙏🌿.........
Forgiveness comes easily yet trust must be rebuilt.💜
Honor the intention of your Creator. Yes yes yes! This guys knocks it out of the park. We are all one-offs, and intentionally designed to BE what and who we are, with unique skills and blessings. Utilization with a passion makes this become instantiated.
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So powerful! Thank you Tom for hitting so many subjects of well being 🙏
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Were done God bless both of you.
Going through this now. Also in IFS therapy. Good to know I'm on the right path.
"If you wait for the ocean and weather and boat and body to be perfect before you set sail, you will never leave the shore."
I JUST found out these were on Spotify. I deliver for a job, definitely listening to these on my runs now!
Arch a powerful episode that I will save and listen again and again 🙏🏻💖🌹
Holy crap. This was made for me rn. Thanks guys.
*OWN IT!* 🙏❤️
Tom - what happened to your legendary introductions? You just jumped right into this interview. You have always done the BEST intros of your guests.
He stopped doing that awhile back :)
@@alfrancis8 I guess I never noticed it because I’ve been rewatching so many of his older interviews and relationship theory. 😃
Thank you Tom for this amazing episode truly enjoyed it lots of wisdom and nuggets of gold we need to do hard things like David goggins says stay hard keep up the amazing work.😁🙌🏼💯👍🏽
Thanks for your assistance
I think that we toxic positivity as the excessive and ineffective overgeneralization of a happy, optimistic state across all situations. The process of toxic positivity results in the denial, minimization, and invalidation of the authentic human emotional experience.
THIS VIDEO WAS RIGHT ON TIME 😥🥲
MAY HAVE JUST CHANGED THE COURSE OF MY LIFE....... GOD IS GOOD !!!! 🙏 THANK YOU TOM
Yes , plan and action is the antidote for me too 🙏🏻💖🌹
I'm watching this on 27th April 2023. I resonate with him so much i thought I'd look him up and find out more about him. I discover he died on 11th Feb this year & 1 day ago his cause of death is declared as 'accidental drug overdose'. How very sad. He was 47! 😭
Giving our emotions, pains, traumas a name/making them a character, and developing a relationship with them is a great technique to regain/develop more self love, control, and peace. Sometimes I write out a play as a feeling or pain as a character. Another great and similar technique is to develop them as puppets or as dance moves/specific rhythms or notes/sounds to explore. Artistic expression from the position of an emotion/pain/traumatized aspect of self can be helpful as well, depending on how you like to relate.
I love E. Gilbert's take on fear, which is that she takes it with her 'for the ride' on her creative endeavors, but does not let it drive.
Whoa! So glad you have Dave on here ✌🖤🖤
So many powerful tidbits!
Thanks man
I came out in 2020 and for that I'm greatful! 🙌
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Can’t believe I just came to this as yesterday Injust got a letter from NYC Eminent Domain …like I neeeded this now with being a Covid long hauler
Dear IT Team! You misspelled the link in the description.😊 loved the Episode
Checking in from the DMV.
God is everything, nice video. Loved it.
💀He who hasn’t seen darker days 👹 will not appreciate the light 💫
Thank you so much Tom , that was so amazing !!
It's good to come out.
Your never in control, at any moment you can lose everything and have no ability to change that. (ie. lose your health, your family, your life, instantly)
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I don't have a fridge, in the criteria of some of the poorest in the UK. Homeless since 2019.
Worst 10 years of my life... My child goes missing, my people dying, being paralysed for 4 years.
Trust me, I'm at that point of ending it all.
Where is the beautiful introduction where he rants about the person's qualifications? I don't know who this guy is I have to Google it! That being said I love you Tom life changing stuff
Why didn’t you ask him why he was charging people for his relationship seminars and gets divorced 3 months later?? His big lose is a divorce?? That’s it ? A divorce seriously?
Thanks 🙏🏼🌸💕
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Intentional design/honoring a creator is a tough one for me. I wonder if anyone has another way to frame it? I do relate to feeling in integrity/coherence with my best unique self. I like the phrase "one of one".
I went to rise Toronto, we took a picture together and I remember thinking his body language is not right. I work in sales and I would say I am pretty good at seeing when someone is not aligned. The biggest thing I am seeing is his facial muscles and hand movements are so much more aligned. Just really happy he went through this, I’m sorry it hurt but he seems more okay. I think Rachel and Dave have taken a new place in pd that’s so much better. As a younger women, I would totally love to understand the healthier parts of divorce when things settle out. It’s an untapped market and healthy divorce is real and scary to a lot of millennials. I know be murky waters with the conservative women, but it would be amazing. I think less we know it but more how to get there would be great.
Your right
28:00 reminds me of Margaret Paul's Inner Bonding
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I meditate in the morning and do about 1 hour of digital art
during the day I go for a 30 min walk around a lake to watch and connect to nature
at night I learn about Crypto, and other investment models and I listen to past wise people speak about philosophy and existence
This was so good! I think I’m going to read the 📖
Sometimes suffering is worth it for good
He's such an amazing speaker
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Nice😊
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Dave - you are a good human ! ❤️
Thank you for introducing me to Dave Hollis. I will for sure buy the book you mentioned, Built through courage.
Tom, you asked the right question, how do you get unstuck. That seems to be where I’m parked. Lol.
This is such in alignment. Grateful for this video🙏🏾❤️
Human beings born like you and me giving us the "blue print" of life 🤭... Like did God tell you this orrrrr did I miss the memo 🙆
wow this was beautiful
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Hello Mrs Jane is legit and her method works like magic I keep on earning every single week with her new strategies
I think I'm blessed because if not I wouldn't have met someone who is as spectacular as expert Mrs Jane.
I think she is the best broker I ever seen
Thanks for introducing me to Mrs Jane.
My first investment with Mrs Jane gave me profit of over $24,000 us dollars and ever since then she has never failed to deliver and I can even say she's the most sincere broker I have known
Mrs Jane has changed my financial status for the best.all thanks to my aunty who introduced her to me
Yes I' m also a living testimony of expert Mrs Jane.
Who's this professional everyone is talking about I always see her post on top comment on every CZcams video I watched
Everything worthwhile in life is won through surmounting the associated negative experience. Any attempt to escape the negative, to avoid it or quash it or silence it, only backfires. The avoidance of suffering is a form of suffering. The avoidance of struggle is a struggle. The denial of failure is a failure. Hiding what is shameful is itself a form of shame.
Mark Manson, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
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Powerful talking. Thx!
I am in awe.
You didn’t fail 👑 ! She failed you!
Just a friendly reminder that wherever you are in life, there is still time to start again and make your dreams a reality.
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Great conversation ❤❤
Awesone discussion 👌🏻
❤
If Dave is so incredible, why is Tom always trying to speak his story for him. Does Tom not have confidence in Dave's ability to articulate? I have watched several of Tom's videos but this one struck me as odd.
I wonder how many people watching this didn't know who Tyler Durdan is lol
“You’re always in control.” What? Um… No. There’s so much that is out of my control. Guess he doesn’t believe in the intention behind the Serenity Prayer… I thought he was in rehab?
I'm a woman, sometimes I don't want to be in control
Wow Tai Lopez got buff!
I'm a single mother....the life I want seems too far away...I'm 30
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Imagine being locked up
Control is an illusion
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In able someone to grow
I struggle with anything the Hollis’ have to say anymore. I think the message is good, but watching them give marriage advice and take make a fortune off of it, right up until they got a divorce left a bad taste in my mouth.
Jesus said repent or return to your maker and the same spirit that raised Jesus from the dead will live in you and you will have an amazing life . Because your dead spirit that lives in darkness,will become life again in the light. The promise is your live forever. It surprises me how most people love the darkness more than the light. Because they don’t want their sin exposed
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