Botshelo Huma escapes a narcissistic marriage
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- čas přidán 19. 12. 2023
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botshelosin... - Zábava
And lona botlhe ba commentileng, support her business okay! She’s doing the lords work with her chipped veggies shame 🙌🏽
Your tone cc, you not asking but commanding
Portia😂😂😂😂😂
Where is the business located?
@@connymontsho 😂
Please also interview people who are thriving in their marriages
Real talk
Thanks for this,...I agree
yep, MY TRIBE...i tried to get a couple of them but most married women are not open to sharing their joys. il try harder in the new year.❤
Not to sound negative but what will be the purpose ?
❤I agree
I honestly think the word "Narcissist" is carelessly used here. Great story btw
Absolutely
The best story tellers are the ones that take accountability for their part and give credit where it due. Botshelo is great ❤
Find the husband and let's hear his side of the story.
She belongs to the street
Statistics aren’t on his side he’s now married 3 times l. It’s him and not the women
I wish that many more woman can listen to this interview before going into a marriage, such an eye opener
I'd suggest you interview both parties. Now the ex-husband already has a bad image because we didn't hear his part of the story.
The conversation was an eye opener thank you ladies. A narcissist will NEVER take accountability!!!
Honestly i don't sense any narcissism here. Incompatibility and miscommunication maybe yeah but the husband sounds like a decent dude. I think counseling and maybe if they also didn't get married too fast than they'd be fine.
I see narcissistic traits creating a group to embarrass someone to her friends. lack of self confidence in this guy. 3 marriages gone down the drain. He is the common denominator.
I have always set this standard for myself: I don't have kids, I am dating no one with kids!
But people who date/marry people with kids are mature🥺
😮
Sis stick by that.I broke my own rule,gave him a chance,now am in separation,and i a son.Am drained,am tired and eish.
@@summertime_magic different strokes for different oaks. But MOSTLY you marry someone with kids already you suffer later. Not now but later.
@@summertime_magic keep calm. God got your back
The word “Narcissist“ has been so misused. It’s concerning that this diagnosis is thrown on people like candy on podcasts - it’s not right!
eish. And it is a Psychological/Psychiatric diagnosis that needs a professional to diagnose... Same way i cant look at a persons physic and say "you are HIV +" is how we must treat this matter too. It needs awareness. In.my view
I honestly felt like it was the word of the year 2023
I understand the lady coz I went through narcissist abuse , you don't need a psychologist to diagnose a narcissist, you will know when you are with a person who always make you feel you are the crazy one, a person who does not take accountability, a person who is loved by everyone but at home he treats you as if you have no value, that is a narcissist.
Im honesty not picking up narcissism from this conversation, incompatibility or non-readiness from the guy,yes..
Same
I thought I was the only one…..been waiting for her to say something narcissistic about the husband but hey
Wait, non-readiness from the guy but the lady is the one calling her ex?
I actually picked up a lot of it 🤷🏽♀️ unless our definitions of narcissism differ.
I don't blame the guy really I mean that's literally cheating...
My guy dodged a bullet here
If a red flag 🚩 was a person, nguye loh
How?
@@gig_economyso you couldn't pick it up ?
Promise conducted this interview so well. Guest is also a good story teller. Overall great interview!
Parents must only date parents. Non parents must only date non parents. Simple.
"I believe a man is supposed to have a plan and vision" i have learned alot from this podcast 🤙
Marriage is probably the greatest challenge you will face in your life. You affect each other profoundly. As he makes you change into something sometimes you don't recognize, TRUST ME, you are doing the exact same thing to him. Marriage is for the selfless. Today's generation is too selfish for marriage to even begin to remotely make sense. I almost always advise strongly against it.
This is is so profound
I couldn't agree more.
Interesting story but my take is that this man was not narcissistic I just think they were incompatible.
I fully agree, ive watched so many narcissism videos and I don't pick it up from this interview,.. just 2 different people that tried toive life together
Exactly! Don’t date a person that drinks if you want to marry a person that doesn’t drinks.
unfortunately 1 hour is not enough for me to share a whole lot
I didn't hear any narc stories, tendencies, behaviors. I heard he was a great father, amazing to her during pregnancy which is far from typical of a narcissist since they tend to be jealous of the unborn child, and he was a non drinker that wanted a non drinker. Please stop wrongfully using the term narcissist. Oh and to top it off she cheated! She felt entitled to forgiveness. Who's the narcissist if one?Wtf!!??
U only heard,what u wanted to hear. This guy was Sick and chances are you will fall for such men n think it's Normal.
@@leratosebetoane8333The guy was sick but she was the one calling her ex?
@@leratosebetoane8333please explain how someone who's a caring father, and even a caring husband when you're pregnant becomes a narcissist because he wants you to value your union, respect your union and focus on your marriage aside having a lot of male friends and even calling your ex when you miss him. Please also tell me your own definition of a narcissist
@@leratosebetoane8333 she cheated, who the hell thinks of calling their exes when they are married? imagine if a man said that, and 90% of these comments support her and blame the man, stopped feeling sorry for you guys, toxic without any accountability
She married a cheater, who was cheating on her with his wife, she is not innocent though in the whole scenario, if calling an ex, is cheating, yes she cheated too! The guy looks like a dude who always has a female in his life all the time, up to now I have counted 5 accounted-for females! He does not give himself a chance to find himself, and heal before jumping into another hot mess! Maybe being a PK also adds to the pressure on his side to get married instantly! Abstinence may be a good anecdote for him....
Your story reminds me so much of my own...i was angry at my wasted time and efforts while following a leader without a vision😢
This really hit home sis! A leader without a vision! Most men! But we also allow ourselves in marriages without asking what the vision is! I need to ask my husband what the vision for our family is 😅. I can foresee a blank face kkk
The most important factor that made it easy for me to get married to my husband was that he had a very clear understanding of his purpose for getting married in the first place! Then why he wanted to marry me in particular and what he expected from me as his life partner. Those expectations were aligned with my understanding of what my role would be in a marriage. As a young girl, my parents used to have conversations with me and my siblings about marriage. So I was confident that I was equipped. I also communicated clearly what I would be bringing to the union as well. His purpose and vision for our marriage was aligned with my own. I thank my parents and inlaws for the wisdom. More importantly I thank God for giving us teachable, humble spirits so that we could listen and learn from our parents.
Very funny
Whoaaaww what a brilliant young woman, I like your level of thinking cthandwa sam.
Guilty parenting happens with a lot of men not realizing that it's to the detriment of the child. It also makes the kids manipulative
Beautiful guest
Am happy for Botshelo that she realized that a Narcissistic person will never change. I was in the same relationship whereby he goes and tells everyone about my flows and I had mentioned. Now people ask exactly what are you doing with such kind of a husband? By the way, they are great providers and shine out there but they cannot give their wives any happiness. it good to let go and allow them to live their lives well.
Wow I wish I'm strong like u n get out of this kind of relationship. My husband is like yours telling people lies about u to cover his dirt. Making outside people happy while home he is a monster hey he is a lot
Err can we please use the term narcissistic by its definition
She was married to a boy nje
I would've had that pizza delivered shem,soze!
Why are women always portrayed as victims even when they're wrong. She mentioned some things that she did in a marriage that are questionable.
* she knowingly went into a relationship with a married man
* she was missing an ex, then called him while being a married woma
* she had lots of male friends
* she admitted that she lied a lot but goes on to blame her ex for the lies that came out of her own mouth.
* she slipped up and told us about an abortion she had (whose baby was that?)
* she drank knowing her husband doesn't want a wife that drinks
* penalizes a man for caring about his children (pizza story)
* she says it's not her role to help her husband by applying for a loan, she wants to be reimbursed
* labels the man a narcissistic without any diagnosis from a psychologist or psychiatrist
Lets go ahead and swap genders. Ladies, what would you think if these things were done by a man to a woman. Wouldn't you say the woman is justified in not trusting him?
I swear women don't listen to comprehend, they listen with their feelings. You can see by the majority of the comments that they completely missed all this.
Ofcourse in these internet streets the man is always the monster and the woman is the victim.
Ladies please invest in therapy.
Most of the ladies are not paying close attention to what is being said.
Spot on 📌
You must be the husband
If you got her mindset don't get married feba fela nje
ontop of that, she saw red flags and ignored them. Surely not a victim
Yho. Can we have an episode dedicated solely to step parenting because WOW!
Yhooo I’d love that step parents go through the most 😢
@@lastjetlastjet4144 alot! So much expectations, so much pressure
True!
The Surname part is maturity. She is just a perceptive person. I love it when people are still respectful and kind after break up❤
N it takes nothing away from you hey.
@@leratosebetoane8333 Nothing! Our parents also understood it. I've never heard of anyone who was forced to drop a Surname because of divorce. If anything you Remain umfazi because of children.
Blended families are hectic imagine your step mum saying you were at your dad's house "alot" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 its sad hey
Please get us that man ! We wanna hear him
That man valued his kids. Every parent ought to put his or her children first, she should have suggested that they send the kids money for pizza. Today that man is still with his kids and not her,meaning parents ought to put their blood first.
Loved this episode. Found it healing. It's great to see a person taking accountability for their part in the marriage failing.
Beautiful voice❤
Am looking for healing.i hope i will get it
This one was just the worst kind of a woman a man should never be close to.
Am also looking for healing😢
“If you don’t have a forgiving spirit, don’t get married” I always say this….hence why I don’t want to regarding the mindset most men have towards marriage.
Eish I feel you
Sis I definitely feel you
I think the forgiving spirit would leave my body the moment I find out my partner cheated 😂
@@_molebogeng6281same😭😭😂😂
Of course I'll forgive you. That doesn't mean I'm still gonna be with you.
Sounds exactly like my ex! What people need to know about narcissists is that they are such victims and are suffocating. They have public and personal personas. Very good liars too might I add.
I was once her hey. I could relate a lot with her story.He was definitely a Narcissist 😢. I pity him
@@leratosebetoane8333 crazy right, for a minute I thought she was talking about my life. Weird how they're all the same person
You call your ex too whilst married?
I think this conversation is centred around Narcissistic behaviour 😊
She was wrong and should be better.
love the studio
very beautiful space indeed.
I enjoyed the podcast lady B was so authentic ….her being accountable was fire🔥
I felt like she was literally narrating what happened in my marriage regarding kids. I left that marriage after a year , I couldn’t keep up with being a stepmother to a man that was guilt parenting. I hated every minute of being in the same house when the child was there .so glad I left without having a child with him
I also filed for a divorce 4 months ago- I couldn't stand being the bad person for the entire 11yrs of marriage, he portrayed me as someone who hates his other kids, so hurtful
Am behind you
There's is nothing wrong with marrying a person with children. Me personally my mother in law plays a big role. I don't have contact with the baby mama, all communication is done through my mother in law. And everybody is at peace and we all respect eachother.
Give flowers when due … loved it
Thank for sharing.... really interesting and Profound ❤
I loved this show. Thanks guys
Oh Botshelo' ex was a boy not a men,who takes back the gifts they bought for their spouse when fighting..what a looser
Nice voice thanks for insights enjoyed the conversation.
Please interview Child Free, men Free women and or Child free men by choice.
Yes please
oh yes, this would be so great.
Heeei sometimes I'm glad I'm single and celibate
I wish you could interview other people who are in positive, happy, and successful marriages. We want to be inspired once, please🙏❣️
I tried to get my fellow wives but most married women do not want to share about their joys because of the backlash and negativity that is on social media...
If you remember i had one conversation and had to pull it down 😅..
i will try again and harder in the new year.❤
I am for THAT through and through
@@zie4453Well said!
We must also not try to force a narrative. If there isn't a genuine happy marriage out there willing to come public then maybe there truly isn't one and keep feeding us what people are free, open and comfortable to talk about. This is not negative power empowering, healing and educational. I learned a lot here regarding how to fix my troubled marriage. I have so much on common with Thumba but I still can fix a lot of things. As Botahelo was speaking about her situation, it as if she was speaking on behalf of my wife. I cut her best friend, went through jer phone, demanded my gifts back and put her down when we fought and embarrassed her in front of her family. Entlik everything that Themba did except the WhatApp group with her friends. I feel like feacal matter right now. I have a lot of work to do. I feel like this was therapy. Of you do fond happy couples it would be refreshing marry oskaba fosta. We are still benefiting here, as sad as it is.
Namaste.
Some podcasts tend to gravitate towards the same topics and set ups lately. It's like watching the same thing over and over but different channels. It's not a bad thing but....
Love the guest, very informative in detailing her story and deeply respect her for also taking the blame in her marriage failing.
This is a woman of high value who fell in love with a ' boy' it's so unfortunate.
What a great singer aswell, love her❤
What is high value about her
@@la-ry1ms her mindset Hun. Stoic practices make a woman very classy
But she is already somebody's left over so her judgement isn't that "classy"
@@la-ry1ms leftover again to you,I doubt your opinion matters.
@@la-ry1ms Imagine as an adult calling a person leftover💀 yoh you should be embarassed
This is the exact same reason why i dont like my step son, thank God that marriage ended cause that child was just a weapon formed against me
Thank you Botshelo for sharing your story and I can so much relate with what you have gone through. Narcissists are very manipulative and they always can't take accountability but will always blame the next person. Let's teach each other ladies and be aware of the signs at a very early stage before it even get out of hand and worse. Thank you so much ladies for this podcast
It's amazing that the man is PK's,raised by Pastors but the parents or so called pastors failed to council their children on this issues of marriage,I am disappointed,man and woman of God😅
Best interview ever with Botshelo. She narrated her story so well. Thanks for sharing ❤
This is one of your best interviews Mommy.keep up the Good work ❤
I love how she narrates her story - shes so classy about it -no blame game no nothing just pure narration
Had he responded you would’ve cheated 😂
Who is this guy? Ai majita a mang? God blesses you with a good wife wa lahla
Feeling so confused. She said 6 months into the marriage, she knew her marriage wasn’t going to work. Now when the husband helped her moved in plastic bags and moved back home, she thought it was all to cool the steam, didn’t want to divorce because that was the love of her life 🤔
There is a missing side if the man have to share his side of the story it's gonna be something different
Ushayelani khona!!❤❤
Very nice interview Mrs Law. Beautiful and bright studio❤️
this is so insightful..Thank you Botshelo and all the best going Forward
Thank you 🙏
Interesting interview, so when you call your ex because you misses him, the husband was supposed to be happy?
Yeah, she was asking about climate change...
The ex was sick of her, only bullies miss their victims 😊
He was supposed to introspect.
It's also concerning that she says she would be flirty with her ex because that's how they used to interact and her husband didn't get that... Was he supposed to get that though?
Great interview indeed, informative 😍
Very insightful. All the best and happiness B
She called her ex? She is a damn cheat! Why she still got her ex number? She is a cheat, period! 😒
@skerrifeelins2604 She is a cheater
Cheater this one
This is a nice interview.
Hi hi Botshelo yooh long tym hle m Happy to see you I remember o le a parlementerian at Church ❤❤❤ and a good singer
This is really amazing! The guest was exceptional, learnt so much. My baby sister was in matric this year, she hasn’t decided what to do so I have recommended au pairing for her. Promise, you are getting so much better this and you are becoming more and more relatable! Love to see it please❤️
She is getting definitely hey🎉🎉🎉 so proud of her & I'm happy I subscribed from the beginning to witness the growth ❤
Very honest interview Botshelo. I think the first sign was that he was still legally married when you dated him. The second sign was him moving in with you. The third was the pizza... We live and we learn
offfcourse the moving into a woman’s home is a total 🚩
She took someone's husband and wanna act innocent. Her and the man both , karma dealt with them.
Interview was flowing beautifully ke sana
Thank you for sharing your story.❤
Thank you for such a beautiful interview, the voice excellent👏👏⚘️🌷🌺🌻💞 ❤
Another great conversation.
Botshelo seems like a really wonderful human. I wish her all the best for her future. May the Lord God bless her with much success and prosperity in every area of her life ❤❤❤
Shoooo that was an interesting story❤
"I missed my Ex and I called my Ex" hehe haaai bafethu...then you expect your man to be ohk.
Otherwise the gent became extreme.
At least she is honest about it.
Partly honest let's agree on that... I feel she has done more ... imagine the other calls where he didn't see... lol ai ne maan.
Nami I heard that and I was like, "ai... And she's only telling us because the ex didn't pick up.. No Judgement, but we do need to be honest about things.. It seems the intention was to cheat.. Even if it was emotionally.
@@KanyaS7 This lady cheated and obviously so she called the guy herself...easy
There's no way you can have a big fight with your partner and forget. She's hiding something
My thoughts exactly she said he would be good husband but not for her something doesn’t add up here!
Funny how she just called her ex 😂
customary marriage is also legal ..
Yes it is legal
Indeed, any other marriage with another partner after customary marriage is null and void unless there is a contract in place to end customary marriage or sthembu.
Yes even God acknowledge customary marriage,once lobola is done....to Him we are married
Great interview 🙌
She had no business calling her ex and expecting her husband to be ok with it
Your enjoyed listening to your story. It was very educational. Thank you for sharing 😊
This man had 2 failed marraiges before...Red Flag.
My babe, there is soo many of those silly men in these streets. I thank God everyday that I am not married, I could have married one of the a couple of years ago!
Wow Botshelo neh,much respect my sister..Modimo a go tshegofatse🙏
Enjoyed the show, I just wish shows like this can have both partners present
We’re not ready for this conversation ne? But she’s also toxic
She loves the streets
She is very toxic and it seems like she was not ready to get married.
Thank you.
And also if she was so free with her ex why did they separate?
Sounds like he was looking for traditional wife (doesn’t drink, cooks, loves kids, has no male friends) but she was not that. But also I think some of her male friendships probably came across as inappropriate for a married woman.
Haibo bo judge Judy!!!
Thank you for sharing your story with us...❤
Welldone friend proud of you❤🎉🎉🎉
I enjoyed the interview ❤
Learnt so much from this, taking accountability. I hope one day I make a decision to put myself first.
Male friends... calling your ex while married... and he is the narcissist😢😮😮
She's a cheater
I like what she says..."I made him my husband"❤👏👏👏most women should take note of that...
Great interview! Promise, I think you are onto something great. These conversations should go on national platforms. People who want to be married will definitely beneficial! Power
My wife used to say I'm narcissist.But I realized didn't treat her well at All.
Trust me, if you were a narcissist, you wouldn't have said what you said.
There’s always 3 sides to a story, your side my side and the truth
It’s amazing how women support each others bs and not correct each other. Guess that’s the definition of “content”
Loving the basketball family! 🤩
I enjoyed this interview. It really resonates with me on so many levels.
Botshelo, I am so sorry about what you went through but its life and also; thank for speaking freely and equally respectful of your ex husband.
I hope he realizes how much you have protected him.
May God find you favorable.
She the narcissist in the marriage, she cheated