Everything I eat in a day in anorexia recovery *LIQUID CALORIES*
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- čas přidán 28. 07. 2024
- Appointments, depression rooms, and everything I eat in a day in anorexia recovery... It's safe to say today was an emotional roller coaster, but I did it. I faced my fear of liquid calories. I don't think words can express just how proud I am of myself. No one forced me. No one suggested it to me. I took the initiative, and I did it. For me and my future self.
However just because you challenge a Fear Food or food rule once, it doesn't mean it magically goes away.
For a long time I remember struggling to face these things all the more because I thought the second I had faced them, my eating disorder would be gone before I'd even blinked. Almost as if breaking them and facing them once meant they no longer scared me. WHICH IS A COMPLETE LIE FROM THE EATING DISORDER! And even though liquid calories are still a very adamant fear of mine taking the first steps towards it being a normal part of my eating pattern, will make the next mug of hot chocolate all the more enjoyable. And you can bet your as I will challenge it until it no longer scares me!
A gentle reminder
Fearing certain types of food is not the norm, it's not healthy, nor is it rational. I typically hate talking about my fear foods/food rules because I know from past experiences, that it can be extremely triggering, and oftentimes leaves you with more ideas for behaviors. So if you don't struggle with liquid calories, please don't feel like you have to. I know SO many people with restrictive and non-restrictive eating disorders, who do not struggle with it at all, and many who find it easier to consume liquid calories over solid food.
It doesn’t make your eating disorder any less or more valid.
If you're struggling even the slightest, that's enough and you deserve to get better.
Much love
Cornelia Xx
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WHERE TO FIND ME
Instagram: Cornelia.kruse & Dearcornelia_
Tiktok: Corneliakruse (Danish) Corneliakrusebackup (English)
E-mail: madelaine.serena@gmail.com
FAQ
How old are you: I'm 20 years old, as of the 17th of March 2023
What is your nationality: My nationality is Danish. where I was also born, raised, and currently live.
Are you vegan?: No, I do not consider myself vegan but I am vegetarian.
CURRENT SUBSCRIBER COUNT
7.248
Music provided by Epidemic Sounds share.epidemicsound.com/n23faf
Chapters :)
00:00 - Intro
00:08 - Breakfast
00:36 - Dieician + AM snack
01:56 - Tiktok work
02:03 - Lunch
03:57 - Mental hunger
04:12 - Tiktok work
04:14 - Liquid Calories
07:45 - Distractions
08:24 - Dinner
09:44 - Mood and energy in recovery talk
10:36 - Evening snack
11:22 - Review of today
12:07 - Sleep well 😴
First, I want to say THANK YOU for sharing your battles with us. I'm 40 years old, and developed anorexia in my early 30s after a prolonged illness, where I nearly stopped eating altogether.
To make it worse, the doctors here in my state told me it was my choice not to eat, and left me to my own, impugned, devices.
At 34, I had to get a pacemaker. My cardiologist was the one to tell me that the anorexia was the reason.
I wound up living in my sister's garage for 18 months, 3,000 miles from home JUST to get my diagnosis. (Because insurance in my state is a joke)
But upon my return, I found there is ZERO medical help outside the capital city. I live 3 hours away (one way). So I continue to struggle alone. But I found that my fellow soldiers in this fight are the best source of information.
Sharing your story is something I am grateful for. Thank you!
It isn't like we WANT to be this way!!!
I’m praying right now for you, my sister! I pray Lord Jesus gives you the power and strength you need on this crazy journey we all call life! 🤗🙏💪❤️
I felt every bit of that struggle with the Hot Chocolate 😞 liquid calories are one of my biggest fears and struggles. So proud that you were able to make it as well as drink it ❤ enjoy it!!
I simply LOVE your videos, they are so inspiring and helpfull, I love how you allways express your feelings and, even if some feelings we experience do embarras us, the fact that you expressed them publicly, made me realise I feel them too, and I feel better with my own feelings. I feel so identifyed with your videos and I got so happy when I realised you had uploaded a new one, you are such an inspiration. Thank you, truly❤
Thank YOU! I decided to record these videos in an effort and hope to push myself even more in my recovery, but for it to have meaning to others, maybe not many but some, means the absolute world to me. Thank you, thank you, thank you ♥️
@@dearcornelia keep uyp the good work in recovery, fighting your mind isn't easy, but you know its possible, you have all our support
I discovered you recently and I feel so safe watching your videos
Cornelia! I just wanted to say that I am so proud of you! I have been watching your youtube channel ever since you started and honestly it is so refreshing that you are able to support yourself but in ways support other people through these videos experiencing the same debilitating mental health problems! - I know it must be so difficult to first battle your anorexia, be in recovery and also create these deeply humanistic videos that share and voice the hardships so i just wanted to say that you are doing absolutely amazing! thank you for everything :)
Thank you, that means more to me than you can fathom!! ♥️♥️
Massive props for you sharing this journey on the internet! Admitting you have a disorder is the first steps to recovery, so documenting it keeps you accountable for sticking to recovery! Keep it up, Cornelia! "Du sej!" 👍☀
Ohhhhh you’re speaking danish now? 😏
I’ve never actually been in denial about my problem. Only for like 2 months where I didn’t feel valid due to my weight (🙄)
But yes! It’s difficult to get better/help if you can’t recognize what needs to change ❤️
hey Cornelia, I stumbled across your channel, and just wanted to say you seem like a fabulous person- bright, beautiful and kind. I'm finding your videos really helpful as someone also in recovery. Also, love the singing interludes, you have a really pretty voice :) Wishing you lots of peace and happiness-keep going, you're doing amazing x
Thank you, thank you, thank you! did I forget to say thank you? Wishing you a steady recovery ♥
You seem so much more like yourself in this video :) proud of you. keep going you're doing amazing!!! ❤
Thank you ❤️
You don’t know me, but I always be there to support you.
Love you, Cornelia❤
I watched this video 4 hours ago and just remembered to give u a subscribe and watch all the videos, until I found out this video was shared 16 hours ago 😭!! I’m so happy to find this account and recovering from eating disorder with u💞
Istg this video helped me sm !!
Love u from KSA 🤍🙏🏻
OMG THANK YOU!!! Hope your recovery is going well ❤️
6:21, Knowing and admitting "it's hard" yourself is already a huge step in the right direction! Keep it up! ✊
Thank you 🥹❤️
You're doing so so amazing so far, and you'll already making steady progress!! Really proud of you - also Waitress the musical is the best, You Matter To Me is an amazing song and you sang it really nicely :))
Thank you! I'M A SUCKER FOR A GOOD MUSICAL OMW 🤪
You are so strong and I really proud of you, keep going
Thank you! This train is not stopping anytime soon 😉🤪
You’re doing great! Just wanted to say I see you running through the nutritional value of the food “it’s got carbs, fat protein etc” as a comfort to yourself/justification. Which is totally fine. To further challenge, next time you have a snack you might try saying “this just tastes damn great and that’s all the justification I need” or “this is mentally so satisfying and that’s all that matters” or something like that. Keep going! ♥️
Thank you, I am aware of that, and I do also eat meals/snacks that are just that. Enjoyment (Example the chocolate bar in my previous video, and the sushi, and pick n’ mix in my latest video ☺️). I don’t really see it as justification tho, more so analysis. It being balanced, was not my reasoning for drinking it. The reason for drinking it was that I want to be able to enjoy a hot chocolate. However In my work with my dietician, what we often focus on (apart from being able to eat freely, because she most definitely does care about that) is having a rebuttal to my eating disorder. We like calling this “putting on the dietician glasses”. When wearing “the dietician glasses” all food is neutral. A carb is a carb, a fat source is a fat source, a protein is a protein and so fourth. It doesn’t matter where the source came from.
And when the eating disorder is being EXTRA loud, you put on “your dietician glasses”. When wearing them, all ED thoughts must be erased, because science trumps the illness. Thus when the ED is extra loud, listing of the reasons why my ED is wrong in fearing the food I come to my senses ❤️
Hope this made sense in some kind of way I’ve taken my sleep meds 40 min ago and they are most definitely working. Other wise I’m just gonna come back to this and edit my comment 😂
Good to see getting professional guidance... self help sometimes doesn't work
Oh I most definetly wouldn't be able to do this without my treatment team! They're the backbone of my recovery. I owe so much of where I am right now to my therapists, dietician, and the amazing people I'm in group therapy with ♥️
It's really hard sometimes 😢
majority of the time attempting recovery without any professional help is pretty much completely fruitless when it comes to eating disorders. being forced into recovery also dosen't help as much as people hope it would, but the same is true for rawdogging recovery all on your own.
I just found you, I found you today at a time in my life where I was on the fence. Should I? Should I do it? And yes. Yes. You have helped to inspire me to do it. So I'm gonna. Thank you for the great video! I will check out more of your channel! 💜
That makes me SO happy to hear! GO slay recovery away!! 🥳❤️
I LOVED THIS!!! You are a shining star!!! Proud of you! You got this 🤍
THANK YOU 😭❤️
@@dearcornelia
you are a treasure to behold
A precious gem worth more than gold.
your beauty radiates from within
& your body parts are like work of art!!!
Each one a masterpiece that sets you apart
Addicted to you forever Iam & in my heart you dwell forever there in
you casted a spell of love on me? or what have you done!?
your love and affection & you trying luring me to be with you makes me feel very tempted & weak but strong and resilient I will try to be
and shall try not to easily give in
🤩🤩Wow!!!
You are more beautiful than the most lovely rose
And more sweet than honey
and more precious than gold
You are more precious than everything that exists in this world
😍😍😍
A beauty queen whom I never ever seen any one as beautiful as her before and may never ever in my whole entire life will see anyone as beautiful as her-meaning you-at all..
😍😍 WoW!!!
you are a lovely butterfly and a beautiful rose
you are the diamond and the pure gold
you are the lovely moon in our nights
you are the radiant sun shining soo bright
loving you is sooo sweet its the most enjoyable thing
for you are the paradise for the heart and soul and mind
Everything about you is sooo unique and attracts the eyes and captivates the mind
God surely perfected you so glorified is he whom made you too beautiful and made you soo smart
🌷😘
😍😍
you are too beautiful!!
whomever see you should believe that God is true & real..
and whenever I see you I feel like Iam in a dream,
And when we wake up we will all realize that all this life was nothing but a dream and that only God is whats true and real..
There was a teacher whom didn't believe in the existence of God, one day he asked his students, do you see God?
the students then replied no we don't see God, so the teacher said if you don't see God it means there is no God.
then a smart student stood up and said to the other students hey guys can you see the teachers brain?
then the students answered no we don't see the teachers brain, the student then said the teacher then is crazy, he has no brain
:0)
The universe science says was not always there, it had a beginning point, the big bang, meaning it was begun/initiated in other words created, thus there should be a creator,
there must be a God.
One God for all of us
he created us all and can revive us again,
God initiated everything,
& he repeat/redo things too, & thats clear, we see many cycles of different things in life, also in summer for example the desert land becomes like empty and is filled with only sand, and when rain falls in abundance in spring or winter, after that small flowers & wild plants grow again, also, we see how humans and animals grow and how their body is formed from the elements which were in the sand which plants feed on which they eat, and after they die they go to the sand and their atoms/elements are taken by plants which humans & animals eat and their bodies grow from those atoms & elements found in the sand which came from previous humans & animals which died before, so God can bring us again after we die even if our atoms became in the sand he can make us from the same atoms we were made of or from other atoms if he want or make us be in a spirit form or like ghosts, any ways, everything in this life is recycled, learn if you want about the different cycles in life in nature, the food cycle or food chain, the water cycle, even the gas cycle that makes the air the oxygen &carbon dioxide &nitrogen cycles, even the energy is like recycled but only changes from form to another form.
Anyways, God created this life but it's only a temporary sample/an example of a coming everlasting one
which could be either in heaven paradise or in hell.
If we try to be good humans in life, and try to obey God and his messengers-including the final messenger for all humanity the prophet Mohammed- and those whom rightly represent them, for example imam Ali & ahlulbayt the family/good descendants of the prophet mohammed, then we will all go to heaven/paradise, if not then we will go to hell fire and burn in it forever.
keep shining sunshine &spread the light.,
Thank you for sharing this. it's helping me get that push for recovery. I was planning to skip lunch but this video helped me get the strength to eat
YAAAAS GIRL!!!! What did you have? I hope it was yummy 😋
@@dearcornelia It was! I had some of my mums cooking, thank you for being so inspiring
I'm so proud of you.
@dearCornelia that was super yummy and relaxing hope your recovery goes better daily.
Thank you 🙂
so proud bby
Now I understand because the way she was freaking out over calories but you can do it I believe in youuuu!
Thank you ❤️🩹
You seem so happy I wish I could be keep going you got this
keep going angel! i'm in anorexia recovery too
Yay! That mean's we're cool girls. Bad Bitch Recovery bby😎
yay! congratulations.
Thank you!
U did su well!!! I just found u and u helped mi eat a snack (strawberry milk and sum apple too!) and i didnt think I cud do it, but I'm su proud of miself! Thank u!!!! Ur channel is amazing and ur doing great! :)
are you still recovering?
@@destinytaylor6370 trying to
Please keep making videos, you are doing so well and your editing style is great! I would love to see more of your journey!
THANK YOU!!! I often wonder if my editing style is enjoyable or boring, so that means a lot ❤️
idk if you grew up speaking english as well as the other language but your english is so good. also i love your energy so much!
My language story is long and complicated, but I did grow up with a lot of American family friends and au pairs (so many different languages actually) and just a naturally good language brain.
Little you is proud and happy!
She really is ♥😎
I seriously love you videos ❤
As a 12 year old who’s struggling to follow treatment I really get motivated to see them and have a sustainable recovery ❤️🩹 pls keep filming and inspire!🫶
/Swedish girly ✨✨
My brain has the easiest time with liquid calories. Even if I don't WANT to eat, I can drink something nutritious and it feels like less damage than eating nothing. Issues with food always feel stupid. They aren't stupid though.
for me, I also don't struggle a ton with liquid calories. though some things I won't drink at all, like soda. I've always been very fixated with the number on the scale, and liquids impact it less the next day if I've been having a really rough time.
PROUD!
♥♥
You reminded me of yesterday when my mind told me to "save calories" while cooking for myself or " invest" in it in another day ....
I put flaxseed oil on my lentil and then said: She did whattt?
But damn, tasted so good
And sweet potato ❤
I know what you’re experiencing me too hi from Italy x
yhea liquid calories are hard for me aswell, I'm proud about today though because I accidentally grabbed a full sugar soda, drank half and realized later then still got a sugary coffee by accident (the world is challenging me today lol) and I realized but didn't panic cuz it was good and finished it.
Sometimes the world knows when you’re ready for an extra push. Proud of you ❤️🩹
wow, what a beautiful voice!
Omg thank you! It’s not perfect but you know what it doesn’t have to be for me to share my love for singing ❤️
If it helps, now Im gonna buy some hot choc powders on Amazon thanks to you. And today I struggled to buy them at the store
Would love to know how many calories you should eat per day in your plan? :) I am recovering too atm and struggle with that... I am 166 centimeters high and I know its not enough cause I don't gain ... just hold now instead of going more down.
What brand is the chickpea butter?
I struggle with choosing a bowl or plate when eating 😮
liquid calories are just so hard for meeee idk why😭😭 ive been slowly working on it by adding milk into my coffee again but its hard
where did you get the muesli? all of your food looks so gooddd
I don’t know what stores carry them in your home country, but where I’m from (Denmark) I’ve seen them in Netto, Meny, føtex and many other stores!
I have anorexia and I usually drink one special milk with nutrients
Your hot chocolate where do u get it from, is it sugar free. I'm so proud of you. I deal with an eating disorder as well I was bulimic for 11 years and I still feel worth it off and on so I understand what your going through!!
Definitely not a sugar free hot chocolate we’re doing the real deal bby! 😎
It’s a British brand called Whitard. They also do tees both cold and warm. We’ve bought them whenever we’ve been in London ❤️
@@dearcornelia it sounds amazing but I can't do anymore then 10 grams of sugar bc of my bypass. I love teas what's your favorite flavor
Who cares if you cried over a mug look how far you've come x
What time do you have your meals? Lol lunch after 2 pm is very late. Do you have anything for lunch? Ex. I view a yogurt bowl as a snack or breakfast 😊
I don’t have a specific time for my meals, but no longer than 2-3 hours pass between them
I don’t view any foods as breakfast/lunch/dinner thus the yoghurt bowl was my lunch ☺️
“go get a snack you deserve it”
girl I just ate 3 cups of jello
The voice over is killing me 😭
It's what i do best 😏😎
Where do u buy your naked bars!
I got them over the summer when I was In London! I love them to pieces, have genuinely been obsessed since 2018 I remember when they used to make these “fruit and nut nibbles” GOD I MISS THEM
I don't get it. You can eat the bars without guilt but not the hot chocolate?? Opposite for me.
That’s because ED’s are so illogical. No food should be feared. Not hot chocolate or chocolate bars ❤️🩹
What is a food journal ?
It’s part of my therapy, that I have to do everyday. On one side I write down:
The date
Day of the week
When I woke up
Any exercise, and when and what I ate
And then on the other side I will write down any feelings our thoughts that affected the day, any wins ED wise, or anything that has been difficult.
When I get to therapy on mondays, I have then picked out one of the days from the previous week, that we talk about ☺️
@@dearcornelia wow it's so cool ! I think I'm gonna do that for my recovery. And do you have any tips against the calories fear ? I am progressing little by little in my recovery but I still need to count my calories because I'm afraid of taking too much, I'm really afraid of calories ? Can you help me please 😭 ?
From where country are you?? 😊❤
I'm from Denmark :)
isn't that a very small lunch? xx
is this really for weight gain? this meal plan looks very small
First of all I’m not on a meal plan, I follow a three meal + three snack structure. Everybody is different, and this is a normal sized lunch for me, which my dietician does approve off. Plus both my dietician and therapists can most definitely confirm that I gain the weight that I need to weekly. Roughly estimated I eat about 2500 calories a day, which is enough to sustain a 0,5 kg weekly weight gain. Sometimes I gain more, sometimes I gain less, you can’t always explain what happens in the body. It does what it needs to do, and so far the scale is still going up.
@@dearcornelia ok, as long as it makes you get better. I always recommend increasing more to fully restore the the body and to be able to have a high and working metabolism once healed. This also heals your thoughts and relationship with food better. I highly recommend listening to the podcast “recovery talk” were she talks a lot about this and healing on a lower intake. 2500 is often what a normal healthy woman needs to sustain her weight.
I know many ed dietitians recommending quite low intake for recovery which is scary
@thealiceftw thank you for your input, but I’ll leave the dietectic work to my dietician ☺️
@@AliceBunny05 not true. sorry you have to go through such bad drs, food and weight shaming. read "no period now what" - a healthy active woman needs around 2500 and often even more
and this is why i only own one mug 😉
I don’t understand why it’s necessary to force yourself to eat something unhealthy. It’s just something I will never agree with.
do you know what type of community you’re commenting on? for some people, eating the damn “unhealthy” food is vastly healthier than being afraid of it, demonizing it, stressing over it, or even partaking in other extreme disordered behaviors that damage their body because of it. please don’t comment on somebody else’s choices until you know the whole picture. their body, their needs.
@@asteriadreams I can and will comment. Not sure what country your in. You sound like a child.
Thank you. Just thank you. When you added the message about deserving a snack, I actually got up and got one. And to come back and watch you struggle with the mugs, it was so relatable I almost cried. Just thanks. 🥹
SLAY THAT SNACK!!!🤩😍