My Mum Says The Most OUTRAGEOUS Things... | Lubricant
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- čas přidán 10. 08. 2023
- From my 2021 Netflix special, I talk about how my mum said the craziest things to me as a kid, and the difference between mums and dads...
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When you announce "I'm gonna do a joke you're not gonna like.." right after a bunny murder joke, you know it's time to buckle up.
3:00 timestamp
😂😂
More of an anecdote really. But eww...
Wait, this was NOT the joke I was supposed to be appalled by.
You literally just commented the same thing he said. Yawn.
“Suicide walrus” 😂😂😂
It reminds me of the “do you want to see a magic trick?“ scene in the dark nights where the Joker 🃏 kills a man by slamming his head on the table with a pencil going straight through his eye
Oh my days, that bit about the rabbit...we came back from holiday once to find "Pasta", our beautiful little lop ear, flopping about all over his cage. We thought he'd had a stroke. So, Mum and Dad said, "I'm sorry, love, but we have to put him down." I was distraught. Crying my eyes out on the way to the vets. I didn't want to see him go so I waited in the car. 30 minutes later, Mum is walking out with this crate...turns out, he just had an ear infection so he'd lost his sense of balance. Nothing a few ear drops for a week couldn't fix. I was elated. We drove home and my Dad was out the front, looking very sombre, then very, very confused as he saw me bounce out the car looking so happy. He must have thought I was a psychopath. Turns out, whilst we'd been at the vets, he had DUG a GRAVE for Pasta and was preparing to do a little funeral for him! We had a good laugh about that. We then nicknamed him Lazarus. Dad never bothered filling in the hole, so we tucked him in there after another 4 happy rabbit years. Bless him. It was sad when he went, but I also couldn't stop a giggle, remembering the situation we had 4 years before. RIP Pasta (aka the Lazarus legend).
Awwwww. 🤍
Thank you. I'm not sure why but I loved reading this.
That made me laugh, as I could easily see this happening in my own family.
omg thank goodness they did the sensible thing and checked with a vet first! Was that mum's decision? ;)
My dad didn't kill a rabbit in front of me, but one of the babies got stuck behind something and was squashed to death (they had full run of the garden). My dad put the pancaked rabbit in the bin, right at the top, so it was the first thing I saw when I went to take the rubbish out. Thanks, Dad...
Your dad is amazing!
“I blame Gwenyth Paltrow” is my new mantra.
😂😂😂😂😂😂
Same energy as “Thanks Obama.”
My mom. “Don’t use the escalator. A boy got stuck and dismembered on one of those. It ripped his leg off”.
PLOT TWIST : it was the middle leg.
Oddly, I was told the same thing.
This guy is hilarious can’t not watch him at least once a day.
I've watched both his stand ups on Netflix countless times. Whenever I need a pick me up he's always there
I absolutely LOVE Russell, and also FLUFFY!😂❤
They are seriusly the cure of depression!😂 (Short term cure😅)
I agree pal. One of the best comedians to walk this earth. I'd love to see him one day. The way he is with his mum has me in stitches every time, even the way he talks about her and his impressions of her, has me rolling on the floor crying with laughter every time without fail 🤣🤣🤣🤣
❤❤❤
He is addictive. His humour is smart AND deprived of meanness and vulgarity even when he's saucy or swears. He has character.
I'm a Kiwi and Russell is dead right about Jacinda Ardern, she mothered New Zealand through COVID and we had a record low number of deaths. it was illegal to leave your house for anything other than essentials and exercise. And if your business was in trouble because of lockdown, you just went online, filled in a short form and the government put thousands of dollars into your bank account the next day, a gift not a loan. My wife is self employed and she did it twice. AND our taxes are about the same as the USA.
THAT'S what a shot of Socialism looks like, Americans should try it one day!
Yes, and we only had 50 people dying while other countries with 5000000 had 5000. Terrible she did this
@@magdahoekstra1694 "Terrible she did this"???
@@magdahoekstra1694what?
sarcasm @@warren52nz
@@Peter-lv5sl Oh, of course. Duh... 🤗
My 20yr old daughter said she'll never be able to look at olives the same way again 😅
Political satirist, celebrity shamer and activist all in one, what a legend!
Also a full on leftist.
@@pedroRodriguesMDHe's actually not, he makes fun of the right and the left cuz he thinks they're both insane. Russell is just a decent human being.
@@pedroRodriguesMD He's not, but even if he was, what of it? Do you really want to be like the people that criticize comedians for who they make fun of when it's their entire role to make fun of people?
@@kaiser_suzi_He literally interviewed Bernie Sanders and had a serious, positive, leftist political discussion with him on TV. He is absolutely left-leaning to an extent, and I personally don't mind it at all. I also haven't seen any examples of him ragging as hard on the left as he does to the right. Which, to be fair, may be due to the fact that the left just hasn't done anything as entertaining as when the right got angry at the girl M&M no longer wearing high heals, or accusing Spongebob of pushing "climate change propaganda." There's just way more comedic value in it.
He always makes me laugh out loud. Thanks Russell.😂😂😂
I was not expecting to hear about a rabbit being bludgeoned to death right before "Two reasons: his best mate is a monkey, and he's got a theme park in the back garden!"
I can’t stop laughing, with headphones on. My family thinks I’m nuts
"initially you're licking timidly, like a deer by a river" 😂
When he said "taste buds evolve" I swear I though yeah that's true, I didn't like olives when I was wee 😂😂😂
I just love him so much. I wish I could see him in person.
I read that as prison! Think I need the optician!
@@barryrathbone A few days ago I happened upon the word 'Indigenous people' twice in a few hours, and both times read 'Ingenious people'. I was relieved to learn that I am not as subconsciously racist as I feared!
u gotta it’s even funnier
If you can't see, then your spelling is bloody impressive Robin. Well done you!
Mom's, stop giving the kids ideas lmao 🤣
Adults in many Southern US states: "Now, kids, do NOT have sex. Do NOT do these things that feel good, it's only for married couples. Do NOT enjoy yourselves, do NOT experience the most pleasure you'll ever have. And for God's Great Sake, whatever you do, do NOT ejaculate and get release from the pent-up sexual urges you're feeling!"
Students in those states: "Mom, Dad... I'm pregnant."
"It's broke..." HAHAHAHA
Trust me, we get over 30 degrees in the UK and we literally go stark raving mad. I love it!!
Still beats here in Florida, tomorrow is about to be 46°. (Yes, I had to convert it from Fahrenheit)
@@MajorHenryLFrom what I hear, if you're from Florida 46° temperatures are the least of your concerns.
@@MajorHenryL Damn! I’d literally be a chocolate puddle in that heat! 🥴 I hate it when it gets over 33 over here. The UK is not built for heat. Nobody has air conditioning as standard.
Our homes are built to retain as much heat as possible.
@@SussexSandrame too
@@SussexSandra That's the biggest issue, it often ends up being 5c warmer inside than outside
And here is my 1-year old, happily munching on olives since the first time she got them 😂.
u are funny as f*ck, even on shit days, u can cheer people up with your humor
So very true, he is great for mental health!
Okay, but like, 3 hours ago I did have to tell my kid to take a pencil out of his nose.
I really hope that Russell will come visit and do a gig in Sunderland, NE England, he's literally one of the very few people who can make me cry with laughter and laugh so much my cheeks and stomach muscles ache. He's just the best in the biz. xxx ❤🤗❤
Best upload in months. Funny guy. Thanks for sharing some of your material Russell 👍🏽
As I gynecologist, I approve your vagina PSA. 😂❤
Saw him recently in Aberdeen and his material is still as fresh. One of the best 👍🏻
My mother use to say "You are so cute, I am going to cut you up and sell you for kindling wood." Honestly to this day I suspected she was a serial killer.
The man IS a treasure
To be fair it is pretty damn hot here in Florida and our people do have to be warned not to shoot at hurricanes....... Maybe warning the women here not to do the ice+V thing would be a good idea
😂👏
As with the warning label not to use your hair dryer under water: the warning exists because _somebody tried it._
I grew up in Florida, back when it was purple, and they needed a dose of Russell's mum telling them all the things not to do, even then. Florida Man is wilder now than he was in my day. 😳😱🐊
one might also need to specify "neither kind of ice, ladies, neither kind" in Florida
@@MelissaThompson432🤔🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
RH is always a good time. And those surprises!!!! 🇨🇦
Russell is nuts.... (My sides hurt)...lol.
As always just great, Loved your show in Ottawa, still love seeing your stuff on internet.
Thanks for all to do and talk about in such a great way
Ottawa ???? For crying out loud, if you come back Russell, TELL ME !
He was great!
Probably the best thing to come out of Bath City
I enjoyed every moment of that. Well done, sir.
You're so funny I laugh hard every time I watch you! Please come PHX AZ USA
"I hope its peachy" 😂😂😂 I'm done 😅😅
" I'm gonna a tell a joke that you're not gonna a like ", "The exit is to the left... and you may feel some descending " 😂😂😂
I've not seen this before, much appreciated and thoroughly enjoyed! 🍻
"Don't listen to your dad"
A laugh a day, keeps the sucide walrus away
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I dunno about that "acquired taste" thing. I must have acquired the taste in record time, because I don't remember not liking it.
As a german, after 16 years of Angela Merkel, i cannot stress enough the "female leaders excell" theory is disputable.
That wouldn't have been my house growing up. My mom cared, but she believed in learning by doing. My dad was big on forbidding things. He forbade me from listening to KISS (yes, I'm that old) because "they are Satanic music" even though he didn't believe in God.
oh wow
You've made me realise how lucky I am. My parents are religion, Roman Catholics. I was into punk & metal growing up, including black & death metal. They've never once told me off for listening to it. My Mum even likes some of the music I enjoy too, such as Marilyn Manson & Cradle of Filth. lol
@@angelaburrow8114 Thankfully dad didn't really know what I did, so it wasn't all that bad. The TV said KISS was bad, so he told me not to listen to them, but I could have listened to KISS within earshot of him and he wouldn't have known it was them. I liked a lot harder music and he never had an issue with it.
I keep on thinking of your mum and dad staying over! That was so funny and I still laugh now from when I heard it in Liverpool!
I’m hoping he new show comes to Netflix soon
I completely lost it at: game of suicide walrus
Lava lamp 🪔😅😅 I'm dying 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Drinking a glass of juice while listening to Russell is a mistake.
Can’t stop watching so funny so clever oh my Lord amazing talent
Literally crying with laughter! Thank you Russell xx
He's one of the reasons I rewatch Mock The Week...
3:24 my mum would have said the same thing word for word
I dunno what 💩 olives you've been fed as a child, I've always liked them! 👏😂
AMAZING mate 😂 keep going! Love lol xx
Brilliant!!! 🤣👊
He's very polite about Jacinda!
If he only knew the truth…..
@@prabhakarrao4922 Wait, what's the truth? Everything I've seen seems to have been fairly positive. But then, I've heard passing comments from people that live or lived NZ that it's getting real bad. Usually from workmates so we don't have time for me to stop and ask them how.
Brought me yo tears this time. Well done Russell.
I love Russell! And I want more grapes!!
Love your content 🎉🎉🎉🎉❤❤❤❤
Clever, hilarious... and hot!
We were just about to play Suicide Walrus 😂
You are hilarious, Russell.
Great stuff Mr. Howard. Was feeling kinda' low this morning. Now my cheeks hurt.
I would love it if you came to Edmonton Canada because you would have a packed place
I fucking love you russ
Bravo Russ.
went to one of your shows in manchester and never laughed more even if it was sweating hot in the venue
everything gets old after enough time. perfectly natural
In your gob before Billy Jean🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
LV Russell 😂😂😂😂
Russel, you are brilliant. Intelligent comedy. It’s great.
This was a while back
But its definitely some of his best work !
Bahahahahahahahaha brilliant as per usual.
Russell always makes me laugh 😂
That is a tough crowd Russell
This is hilarious!!!
What made that funnier was the ad below it for Hello Fresh 😂
His promo picture is great
Too good😂🤣
Not sure how much of this has been you, and how much was your branders, but it was worth a laugh.
you are fabulous
Brilliant
Bonkers 🤣🤣
Saying 31 degrees is hot is hilarious considering here in the Australian suburbs "hot" is about 40-45 degrees 😂
Russell Howard is as funny as a dose of the clap.
The one that gets me is 31 degree is a hot summer 😂. That's tap water temperature where I live. We considered that cool
The south east gets alot hotter.
Class
haha.... Russell Howard's sooo funny :)
You are not right! 😁 HA-larious!
Considering my family uses peachy as a profanity… that joke was even funnier…
Guess Russ has never heard of the Darwin Awards!
More Grapes!
More Grapes!
I've smelt naturally peachy ones. Just a hint of peach, it's lovely.
lol 31 degrees! thats a mild aussie summers day
Heat wave 31 degrees 😂
How it is oossible I never seen this chad before?
The dad's may have allowed it if it was their son, but Dad's are often very protective over their daughters. Vice-versa for the mothers and their son.
Fathers think they're supposed to toughen up their sons and mothers are pretty sure their sons aren't smart enough to survive. Mothers know how tough women need to be and fathers know how delicate women can be.
Oh my god 😂😂❤
I was drinking during the panini part and i saw a bright light and some dead relatives.
I'm like half his age and he looks younger than me 😂
Peach would be nice