𝗣𝗼𝘃: 𝗬𝗼𝘂’𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗶𝗿𝗲𝗱 | 𝗠𝘂𝗳𝗳𝗹𝗲𝗱 𝘃𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝘆𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁
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- čas přidán 22. 11. 2021
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All credits go to the original owners/creators!
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Wear headphones for the best experience 🎧
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If you need someone to talk to feel free to vent in the comments this is a safe and respectful environment.
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Any video/song recommendations comment down below ↓ - Hudba
Tw some titles may contain trigger words ⚠
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00:00 - 6:19 Silver Soul - Beach House
6:19 - 12:37 Apocalypse - Cigarettes after sex
12:38 - 16:32 As the world caves in - Matt Maltese
16:33 - 20:14 Haunt me (x3) - Teen suicide
20:15 - 24:14 I cant handle change - Roar
24:15 - 29:31 Space song - Beach house
29:32 - 32:34 Je te laisserai des mots - Patrick Watson
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I love your entire account and even these little things you do, like putting the trigger warning for those who need it. Thank you so much.
@@elenaa9157
You know what, I really, really appreciate that you put a trigger warning there. You seem like such a sweet person.
IM SO HAPPY YOU KNOW THE FIRST SING FINALLY-
I only see one trigger word here. What are the others?
i needed this today. my mom gets stressed and then takes her stress out on me. and when i try and confront her she goes on big rants. so i shut down and she yells at me for that too. thank you for this.
damn man, i feel bad for you
I wish you good luck with that 😔❤️
Sorry, I hope it gets better
I'm so sorry you have to deal with that, I hope it gets better. Sending lots of virtual hugs
Hope your mom is alr
it’s great to see people coming together like this, it makes it feel like like an empty world
My dad told me a month ago that if he found me on discord he would sell my phone and iPad and I wouldn’t have anything anymore. That’s because of a gc I’m in, it’s lgbtq+ friendly and all of the friends I have were made there and are there. My dad is extremely homophobic and thinks we’re all mentally insane for thinking liking the same sex or being a different sex from what you were born with is ok you are mental and wrong (his words exactly). Those 5 friends on discord are some of the only people keeping me on this earth. I’ve tried to end my life so many times now and they’re always the ones who save me. A couple minutes ago my dad came in and asked for my iPad and I’m shaking so much. I can’t lose them, they’re literally almost all i have left. Idk what I’m going to do if he sells my stuff. Everything I’ve worked for will be gone. I will be gone with them. I feel nauseous. What did I do to deserve this…
you don't deserve to do this, my parents also disagree with the lgbtq+ community, but that doesn't mean we're gonna give up :D also you should've deleted discord before giving your iPad to your dad, so that he wouldn't know that you have discord. I'm also not allowed to have discord because my parents said that it was "dangerous". Even though my parents blocked my discord, I still used a VPN to bypass their parental controls, and I have been using discord for 6 months without them knowing. And also, please stay strong. We're always here to help you :DD
If you need to vent for a bit, you can add my discord ^^
! avaa#1588
I hope that you'll stay strong
Hey man, I can't say I know what you're going through or what it must be like to have that happen to you. Just know that those people will always be waiting for you! It seems like they really care if they have been able to help you and seeing how much you care about them! Idk how old you are but think about when you don't have to be around how toxic your father is. Think about how great things will be without all that negative energy and let that stir you into doing amazing! Be the best you! Keep living, Keep fighting, keep going on. Keep doing things that make you happy! Screw what your dad has to say! Stay safe man! People love you! Hopefully he didn't do anything harsh or insult you, sell your stuff and everything like that! Idk if your ipad and phone are soft locked with where you can only download certain apps but maybe you can find an app that hides what the app actually is like make discord look like your calendar or an app that no one checks! Keep thriving man! :)) Hope life gets better for you!
i feel you, i used to be in this gc we named gaymersbeg, then my mom found discord and deleted it and i had a whole mental breakdown because it feels like cus of me we all split up.
if i was there would it had happened..? or could i have been able to prevent that?
i feel u
Depending on your age and savings you might want to secretly do a bit of work on the side to save up for a secret backup iPad.
I was in a similar situation a few years ago and that's what I did.
i’m the friend that listens to everyone else’s problems and just nods my head and gives them a person to feel safe with but never tells anyone what’s going on in my head. i want to give up on life. i’m tired, but not the kind of tired a nap will fix. i’m exhausted from life. but i’m scared of who will find me after the fact and how bad it will hurt the people i love so i have to stay :/
I know it's hard, but you should try and help yourself before you help others. It's nice to be able to let others vent, but still. You can talk to me, I can try to help although I'm not too good at comforting but I will still try. I'm glad you'll stay, even if you have to worry about others (not too good but hey, at least you'll live!)
i dont feel safe, i dont feel seen, i dont feel heard, i just feel so fucking alone.
Hey love, times where you want to disappear is just times where you want to be found. You aren’t alone, so many people are rooting for you even if it doesn’t feel like it. There are times where obstacles just seem way too tough to get through but I promise you, you’re strong and you can do this.
Sending virtual hugs and remember that sooner or later, you will be safe, you will be seen, and I hear you.
You're not alone, even if it feels so difficult to see otherwise. Even though you may not feel ok now, it will not stay like this forever. I'm proud of you. I'm proud of you for drudging through this life day in and day out. It's not easy. But it gets better. And I'm proud of you for making it this far, you deserve the wonderful things that are ahead. I know this is an old comment, but I want you to know this. You are loved ♥️♥️♥️
i dont know what i feel anymore, i dont know what i do anymore, im watching my body/self grow older and lonelier from outside my body like a viewer (i cant explain it well)
Depression is like waves of sadness and rn I’m going back to the deepest depression I’ve ever felt and even though my therapist told me not to listen to sad music, I still do it because it helps make me cry and that’s what’s important. If you’re going through that time again im here to help. We can be sad together:)
my dad passed away yesterday unexpectedly, and i feel so numb. so many regrets. this playlist just lets me think and that's really what i need to do right now. please go hug and spend time with your loved ones, i miss him so much and it can happen at any moment. i just want one more hug from him thats all i want... i want my dad back
How many times have you fallen asleep in class? They asked, I answered honestly, Three times in two days.
I have gotten 3 - 5 hours per night, it's always English class, my teacher was really worried and she pulled me aside asking if I was getting enough sleep at home and if I was okay. I said, No, my body is not letting me sleep, no I am not okay, my aunt is dying and I'm really not okay. She ended up just saying a few comforting things, she obviously wanted to give me a hug but didn't know if I was comfortable with that.
An f-ing teacher was more worried about me MORE than my friends! My friends told me to stay at a bridge to meet them there, I stay there for half of lunch, soon realizing they forgot about me. I go and grab my lunch only for me to barely eat an apple slice before throwing it away, in front of all my friends. My friends know I have eating issues where I skip meals randomly for days, sometimes weeks. They know I'm having nightmares and flashbacks of our fighting now because I shared that.
I just had a two-hour nap, the first time in weeks that I slept with no interruptions. Like. . . why can't I get that on a school day? When I have exams next week, all week!
I keep telling myself these things like I'm useless, my friends hate me, it's my fault we were fighting. . . and so much more bs. I keep reading through these arguments, remembering that I was having panic attacks and meltdowns for 3 - 5 days straight, telling myself to end it and I was so close. . . it was Christmas Day and it was cancelled. I kept telling myself no one would care and holy sh*t I'm still in a bad place, a month later.
Now I'm in my room all the time, either cuddling with my cat or watching my comfort streamers. I'm tired and I can't do anything, I just don't want to even look at my exams or study. I just want to sob and scream. But I wont, I'll transfer it into art instead, into writing into anything else. I'll embrace the nightmares and flashbacks of her funeral and hope I don't off myself.
I am so sorry if I wasted your time reading this. I needed a place to vent.. I wish you all well ❤
you should really start caring about yourself and take a break from your friends for a little while until you can get back on track it’s clear there not helping as much and if a teacher can care more about you then that’s a really big sign. But if you need any help or advice you can ask me if your comfortable❤️
I know it’s hard , take care of yourself , I’m so proud of you , has anyone ever told you that? You’ve made it this far , I’m incredibly proud of you bb . It’s hard , I know , but keep going okay? For me? Your valid, your feelings are valid . Your friends don’t deserve you . YOU deserve sm better . I know that maybe you don’t want to be left alone . But you need better , people will come into your life and appreciate you .
I love you okay? Eat . Take care of yourself , you deserve to eat .
Please? I love you so so much
If you ever need anyone bb , don’t hesitate. I’m all ears
I'm proud of you. I know quotes aren't the best thing I could say here. but they've helped me. I don't remember who they're by sadly.
Here's some quotes that kept me going(all of them idk who they came from):
"if you're going through hell, keep going."
"People cry not because they're weak. It's because they've been strong for too long"
"Don't forget you're human. it's okay to have a meltdown. Just don't unpack and live there. Cry it out. Then refocus on where you're headed."
"Don't you dare give up on this life. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not ever."
"I don't think people realize how hard it is to pull yourself mentally out of a dark place. So if you've done that today or any day, I'm proud of you."
"It's okay if the only thing you did today was breathe."
"There's going to be days when you don't wanna be here anymore. You just STAY. You f***ing stay. Somebody out there needs you, needs your voice. I promise. I swear to God (or whoever you believe in if you believe in a God), your laughter is somebody's saving grace. Hold on tight baby. The sun's coming for you."
"It's okay not to be okay."
"Place your hand over your heart. Do you feel that? That's called a purpose. You're alive for a reason so don't ever give up."
Live.
I know that’s not much but it’s everything I needed to say.
I am so tired. I'm tired of being ignored. I'm tired of being told I'm not right. I'm tired of being here. But I can't leave. I can't give up just yet. It is this very unending tiredness that fuels me. I will climb until I can climb no longer. No one will be able to ignore me, no one can make fun of me, because I got there. I'm as important now as I will be then and you will respect me. We all deserve nothing less than the best. Life sucks and we have to live through it. If you end it all you'll never get to see what an amazing person you become. I know it's terribly hard but you can do it!
Vent warning
I was always told that crying wasn’t good or wasn’t pretty for a young woman like me, ever since I was a kid everyone just told me how to act and shaped my mindset to how a “perfect” person should act and look like, now here i am, a person who’s even more lost and does not trust anyone enough to vent to
*bet it would have been easier if I didn’t have any emotions*
fuck being perfect
dude i love you no matter who you are just keep in mind that if you didn't have any flaws we wouldn't be able to apreciate your qualities
and with this society, even perfect is bad the real think that good people will like about you is that you're a human and not a perfect little robot
the real definition of perfect is being human
same
At this point, I dont have feelings anymore except for numb and happy. But no matter what you’ll be perfect either way.
@@hahahahaahah same it literally feels like you can express the feeling but barely even feel it
Trust me you want to feel emotions it makes it way more harder without them, it makes you feel left out because you never know what to say because you barely know what to feel so it makes it all the more worse, and plus remind yourself everyday that your human and people shouldn’t put pressure on a child from what they want to be
TW: some words might be triggering...
I never thought I'd be crying over some stranger's comments... maybe some are too relatable, but I just wanted to say that, every single one of you are valid. Life is getting so much more difficult with every passing day, and I don't know why, but at least we all feel like this. You're not alone, and even making it through the day is a huge accomplishment. I'm proud of you for breathing, thinking and reading these words right now
This might make you mad but I have another comment.
So due to surgeries and accidents I’ve been on the edge of death so much, that if i die one day randomly i wouldnt mind. I’m so hurt inside that i dont care anymore. I’m too afraid to ask for help because I feel no one will do anything about it, so i just keep this knife in my back that will one day maybe go away, until then im stuck like this.
Thank you for taking the time to write this message
you just helped me start on the homework i have been avoiding for a week. thank you. depression and anxiety makes school so much harder.
@Bobabear✌︎ sorry, i hope you feel better soon.
this was great. And I know I put this in another persons line of replies, but I thought putting it here too would be more helpful because this is already a helpful comment
Here's some quotes that kept me going(all of them idk who they came from):
"if you're going through hell, keep going."
"People cry not because they're weak. It's because they've been strong for too long"
"Don't forget you're human. it's okay to have a meltdown. Just don't unpack and live there. Cry it out. Then refocus on where you're headed."
"Don't you dare give up on this life. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not ever."
"I don't think people realize how hard it is to pull yourself mentally out of a dark place. So if you've done that today or any day, I'm proud of you."
"It's okay if the only thing you did today was breathe."
"There's going to be days when you don't wanna be here anymore. You just STAY. You f***ing stay. Somebody out there needs you, needs your voice. I promise. I swear to God (or whoever you believe in if you believe in a God), your laughter is somebody's saving grace. Hold on tight baby. The sun's coming for you."
"It's okay not to be okay."
"Place your hand over your heart. Do you feel that? That's called a purpose. You're alive for a reason so don't ever give up."
My mom takes her stress out on me
She tries to make me be her
She gives me everything she didnt have as a child
And
I cant deal with it anymore
She hates my friends and me
I dont feel at home anywhere
Thanks for this playlist
been through the same thing. You'll get through it, dont let it change who you really are
Same:((
heey~ i know i’m too late,,,, but i want to say that you’re the real sunshine
it’s hard for you now.. but i believe you can handle it
pls don’t give up♡︎
@@eliocwn thank you
Dear person whoever reads this, Hey, you, yes, I am talking right to you. I hope you will see yourself with the eyes I see you one day because I can tell you have some awesome music taste :) You’re such a beautiful human being and worth and enough. I hope you know that you do only need yourself to be happy, I know society builds up the standard that whenever you’re alone you’re not living a happy life. But in fact, that is not true, if you start to realise that you deserve all the good things happening to you, you will treat yourself a lot nicer. I hope you let yourself rest, don’t beat yourself up over past mistakes, over regret, and over everything your mind wants to destroy you. I wish I could remove all those demons inside of your head because you deserve to feel happy. If you ever feel lonely then watch the sky, because you know, someone, at the same time is watching the sky too, maybe feeling the same way...I am glad you exist and I hope you won’t ever remove your spot in this world, maybe you don’t feel like you belong here but, Angel, then build your home here. I don’t want you to leave this world unhappy. I want you to live every little second, I want you to feel alive, I don’t want you to see yourself just existing. You deserve it. Whatever happened, it’s not your fault, the demons in your head recognise that you have a beautiful heart, they want to take it because they have never seen such a beautiful heart as yours, so why let them win over you? You’re not selfish for isolating yourself, but you deserve to talk to someone. If you’re reading this then please never forget to breathe and smile. Don’t live up to other standards! It’s your story and not theirs. Life for those who couldn’t smile for those who forgot what a genuine smile is, love like there’s no other, hug-like it's your last one. I love you and send you hugs. You’re so strong, you’re still here, and I am proud of you. YOU ARE NOT USELESS. READ THAT AGAIN. YOU ARE WORTH IT. READ THAT AGAIN. YOU ARE LOVED. READ THAT AGAIN. I AM GLAD YOU EXIST. READ THAT AGAIN. YOU ARE NOT A PROBLEM. YOU ARE HUMAN AND YOUR FEELINGS ARE VALID. READ THAT AGAIN. YOU ARE NOT BEING DRAMATIC. You’re not a burden to anyone, don’t be afraid to talk, to use your voice. You’re beautiful inside out. Your body is beautiful the way it is. Please don’t starve yourself. Please eat, I know it’s hard but you deserve food. You deserve to eat and drink. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. READ THAT AGAIN. I WISH I COULD HUG YOU RIGHT NOW, SO A VIRTUAL HUG WILL DO. It hurts me to see you’re in pain :( you deserve so much man, don’t let your emotions control you. Don’t let them get the best of you. I love u I love u I love u I love u I love u please don’t go. I am sorry that no one is hearing you, I am sorry no one is noticing that you have lost yourself. I wish I could take your pain away, it hurts me to see the pain in your eyes. I love you through my words and I mean it. I just want you to stay, hold on a little longer okay? Please? For me.?? I hope you have an awesome day/ morning/ evening/ night. If it’s a night for you, go to sleep, I know it’s hard to fall asleep right now but you deserve a good sleep. If you have nightmares, please, don’t let them fight you. If it’s a day for you, don’t start it with such sad music, I know it’s impossible to have a good day with such a mindset but take baby steps, start by drinking two cups of water in the morning, and so on. You will start building little healthy habits. If it’s an evening for you, you’re probably overwhelmed and stressed, I want you to know it’s okay to feel the way you feel. You don’t need to be scared, of course, you’re overwhelmed or stressed, I mean who wouldn’t? But it’s important to know that when you feel that way you should do a little self-care, such as taking a bath for example? You deserve to feel at ease and relaxed. And if you are somewhere in between I hope you know that you’re stronger than you think, I know you will make it :) All I want for you is to stay and feel alive. Now wipe those tears away and smile for me, you don’t know much a smile can brighten someone’s day, do you? I hope one day yours will become a genuine one where you don’t need to fake it anymore because I can’t say this enough, you deserve a good smile and to feel alive. You’re worth more than every fucking cent in this world. I need you here with me :). Remember crying is not weakness, let it out as much as you can but don’t let the emotion control you by giving up. It’s okay, you’re here, you’re safe, you can let it out. Did anyone ask you, how you are feeling today? If not, how are you? I don’t think you’re doing good, but you will feel good at one point. Don’t give yourself up. I am sorry you feel misunderstood. But anyone who gets to be with you doesn’t know how fucking lucky he/ she/ they are :). Enough with beating up yourself for today, okay?! - The stranger that cares about you more than anything. I hope this is enough for you to stay today, tomorrow will be a new day, a new start, let go now. I hope you can stay. This is your sign to stay and treat yourself with love, you deserve it. And in case no one told you today, again, I am so proud of you. I hope you will remember my words :) Until tomorrow, my friend :)
Tysm I’ve been feeling down and my emotions feel so weird it’s like expressing happiness without feeling the actual joy of the thing? But this comment motivated me a little to finally get up for a little bit❤️
Also I hope your alright too your super nice and don’t deserve to be hurt either💕
We need more people in the universe like this. Thank u so much, I didnt even know I needed to see this.❤
Ty for this I really needed this right now so seeing this makes me feel so much better and I hope you’re doing good this was so sweet and am thankful for this comment
Thank you..
It hurt so much that, at that point, even a hug would feel like emptiness as well
If you would like you can talk about it? Its can be here or private if you need
I've cut contact with a friend, he'd hurt me occasionally with words and what he'd do. "Good for me" and "better off" and all. Before ending it all, I knew it was going to be the last time I'd look at him and listen to his voice. To V, you've given me a lot without knowing it. Memories and the happiness that came with friendship, it's one of the reasons I stayed a little longer with you hoping I'd give it back too. I've given what I can. Even as I tried ending it on a good note, you rubbed salt in my wounds again.
I miss you, but not to the point I'll come back. Hopefully, you can get out of the dark place you're in.
i am tired of surviving this reality to a point i just wanna give up
its alright dont give up just remember to take care of urself when things get too hard. VIRTUAL HUGGS!!!
Hang in there. It’s one day at a time. Some days are going to suck, others will suck less. Sometimes it takes a while to get better. Keep your head up. You aren’t alone. Just keep walking. One foot in front of the other. Even if it hurts it will be worth it. Just keep walking. If not for yourself then do it for those around you. If not for them then just keep moving. There doesn’t have to be a reason, just a motion. I’m rooting for you.
Same
i feel you dont worry
Damn reading all these comments are making me really sad that these people have to go through this, like if I had to go through the same things I don’t think I’d make it, I am so privilege to live in a home where I am excepted and love, and I just want to say that I think all of you that are going through anything like the story’s in the comment section you are so brave and strong and I want you to stay like that, and I love you❤️❤️❤️
I'm born tall and skinny, and several times have been teased and made fun of because of my body and my 'lanky, gross fingers'. I found out how bad it got when one person said they liked my body and how it looked so nimble and it made my entire week better. Even today, I still think about it. The people who do care think I'm sad, which I don't think I am, just always tired.
Awh, I'm very sorry to hear that. But same with me, and I think you are a lovely person already, I can't really say anything else bc I'm very bad at this- but you're not alone lol.
Idk about those people but being skinny and tall seems so amazing to me, that’s always been my dream body but for those people if they insult you in a really mean way again just comment about something you don’t like about them, they’ll figure out what it feels like so they can have a chance to open there eyes and understand. I honestly take it as a learning experience for them
@@angelsonlyxx Thank you, honestly, even though I'm tired, I don't want to go to sleep just yet. I won't be giving up just yet. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day.
@@notpox The problem is, the people who insult me are my 'friends', so it can be hard to think of something against them. I have actually been called to my face the least favorite in the friend group. At least they're not talking behind my back.
Please do not change your body, that to happened to me in 6th grade. I was with my ex friends and was wearing leggings, it was at school btw. And they commented about how I looked like a chicken because my legs were so skinny. I laughed it out just like I did, But at the end of the day it actually ended up taking a big hit on me now. And just because of that I started eating unhealthy, junk food, and started being a bit to harsh on myself, even after being full I made sure I kept eatin, and not to mention I always have a small appetite. I ended up being overweght now I realize my mistake and who I actually wanna be. You are beautiful, and do not change yourself just because someone says you are skinny, your family members might even say that to you sometimes. But do not end up regretting everything like I did. And start loving yourself and look for your true self, I love you, and so does God.
I love vent playlists, especially when im tired or fall for the same person for the 100th time, these playlists make it feel like you have someone that can help you
Idk why but my classmates hate me. They go as far as throwing garbage at me and calling me names. All because I said that them kicking stuff at me was aggressive. I don't really know what to do anymore. Pls give me advice cause I'm starting to get tired of this.
Update: they stopped bullying me :D!!!
They are just jealous and tired of things themselves! Don't let what they do to you affect you! It must be tough and I could only imagine how hard it is! I know it's a lot easier said than done! You could try confronting one and just ask "Hey man , what's your deal? Why me?" See what they have to say and if they can't give a good answer, screw them. They aren't worth your time and they just see how great you are. :) I could say go to authorities but I know that it won't help all of the time. Just do your best to keep growing and being a better you! Those people are jerks and obviously something is up with them. Tell them "Hey I hope you have a nice day." It could make a difference or not. Either way man I hope things get better for you! I'm sorry to hear that things are tough on you right now.
@@Yummyie YOUR THE BEST EVER!!! TYSM
@@bigdissapointment7001 Don't be artificially nice to them like saying hope you have a nice day. You'll get targeted even more. It's best to keep your head straight and try to ignore them as much as possible. If confrontation is inevitable make sure to have a few friends by your side so they can help you in case a fight breaks out.
Sometimes it's best to show bullies there place by straight up beating them up. If the bullying is more psychological be openly hatefull towards them and don't hide your toughts. If they tease you tell them outright that they aren't funny and are seeking attention their parents didn't give them. If they threaten to beat you up you have something against them in hand. Immediatly tell a teacher you trust that they threatened you and will probably beat you up. Gather your friends and overwhelm them with numbers. Bullies have a superiority complex and the only way to get them to leave you alone is by sheer influence. They will take any opportunity to strike so the only way to make them stop is to force them to stop by making them afraid of you or your friends. You can't make people like that understand, ok? Don't even try to argue with them and don't treat them with respect because that is exactly what they want. If you are nice to them you are rewarding them for their behaivor and like a dog they will repeat trampling on you.
Be an asshole and fight unfair. Get as many people on your side as possible and if things get REALLY bad you don't wait for them to attack so you can retalliate. No. You go out and ambush them. You activly seek them out. As many times as necessary. (In my experience, once is enough for most people)
And if they tell on teachers, guess what? You already informed the teachers it's them who bullied you, so they won't do anything to stop you. If they are unreasobale teachers then learn where your bullies live (by asking their neutral sided friends) and seek them out there. Beat them up. It's the only language they understand.
Thank you for comming to my ted talk
@@hinamiravenroot7162 Ill be doing this 100% Ill tell u about what happens
tell a trusted adult if they continue give them 3 chances to stop before you do it back to them even worse i suggest finding their weaknesses and holding them against em ,go infront of the whole class if you can and call them all the names they called you it will embarass them and annoy them
I’ve always delt with anxiety and my mom puts all her stress on me if I try and say one word to her she yells at me and I just hold back my tears and ever since my bio dad died I’ve changed even tho I never met him I miss him it’s really hard to focus on things and I just wanna give up on life I’ve cut myself and hide the scars and no one knew that I was but I stopped and I just wanna visit my dad in heaven I really wanna give up but my grandma loves me and I love her it makes me tear up writing this I’ve been in counseling but I was taken out and my life is just a huge mess
keep your heads up. it'll be okay
thank you dipodo.
it wont
Tysm
thank you, but.. yeah
It wont for a year
It’s almost been the anniversary of my death date, one more month, February 4. I still have it marked on my calendar actually.
It haunts me, every day is a constant struggle of relapsing, I made it this far and I’m trying so hard but some days just make me want to give up and end it all entirely.
I’m slowly getting better, slowly.
I’m sorry to hear about that bro :(( but listen here. I may be a stranger, I may be unknown to you, but I’m proud of you. So very proud! Life is difficult and it totally gets the best of us at times, but you’re holding on and that it self takes a lot, so great job, keep up the great work! Know that I’m rooting you on, but even in your dark times, remember me, even though I’m a stranger like I said, just know that even strangers care for you. I wish you all the best to your bright future, and don’t you go saying “but I don’t have one” *shmacks you lightly but respectfully* yes you do, don’t be so hard on yourself for little mistakes too, it’ll be alright! Take baby steps and I know you’ll get there! I’m sending your love/p and care, hoping you’ll be alright! :DDD
Well I think you should extend that date before you die you should try doing something that could help u get better. I want to recommend something I’ve never tried it before but i think it could possibly be a good Idea and it’s try doing something like getting up and move for 1 minute or doing one push-up, just practically doing something 1 time or for 1 minute until your ready to extend it and it could be at anytime of day you want. And another thing is finding a friend who relates and virtually or psychically help each other out by motivating each other to get up and do stuff you guys wouldn’t normal do to make yourself feel better and healthy bc usually when people are like this they isolate themselves and it makes it worse so this would make it a working progress.
Sorry for the long ass comment💀
Please don't do anything on your own you have a busy road, bump into me everything will change I'm sure of this just have hope, too. You're not the only one buddy
We tried on the same day ahah I’m glad we both survived that day I love you
I wish a good night's rest and future happiness for whoever reads this comment. Love you ⚘
recently i find that my sleep issues are getting worse. i find myself not caring and doing things that are dangerous for my body like taking more meds than i should and not drinking enough water or eating enough or too much and i’m just. tired. it’s comforting to see that other people understand how i’m feeling in this comment section though. recently my baby kitten died in my arms, choking on a piece of food. it ripped me apart. i cried for the first time in years, and i couldn’t stop. some days it’s harder to manage the pain than others. love you guys.
I'm pretty tired these days. I feel left out in class. I have friends, but we don't talk much and they have their own group. I feel alone... I know I don't have the sofstest style and stuff but still. I still feel. I'm tired of showing my siblings that I am strong, but I cry at night a lot. I am exhausted of school and I feel like a dissapointment to my family. Sorry for long comment. And thank you for reading. Love you
I have sleep paralysis and ty for letting me sleep it's really calming
i never knew that i would be venting online but here i am. i’m tired. drained. useless. don’t get me wrong, my life is amazing compared to others and i’m grateful for what i’m given but…as the oldest in my family there is so much expectation. i’m scared to fail and feel like i have. i’m scared to go back to the time that i was the most unhappiest and almost kms. but i slowly feel like i’m reaching there. i can smile and fake a good one at that. no one knows what i think or feel bc i try not to show it. my classes make me stressed and i feel like i just suck. i try and try but i feel as though i’m not good enough. another thing that’s been bothering me lately is body dysmorphia, i’ve always had it but it really hit me as hard until now. i cant stop judging myself no matter what anyone says. i wanna crawl in a whole so no one sees me. i just want a break but life never stops.
this just reminds me how I’m no one important to anyone, how I’m always second choice, how I’m the friend you come to when your bored, how I’m the friend who gets left out, how I’m the friend making everyone feel better but they don’t do the same. For once I don’t want to be the second choice, For once I don’t want to be the friend you come to when your bored, For once I don’t want to be the friend who gets left out. I will never be good enough for them, for anyone.
Pov : You tell your friend that you're day is going horibble and they still just make it about themselves
POV: You cant keep up a act anymore. It’s getting hard
It’s been a rough few years won’t lie. I just started antidepressants two weeks ago. I got into drinking a bit before and it’s fucked because I still want to drink. Everything feels so much better when I’m drunk. It’s so stress free. I feel worse after but the during still feels worth it. I haven’t drank because of the antidepressants, but fuck id be lying if I said I didn’t want to. I’m scared that I have a problem but I’m so tired. I just want to numb it all out. It’s all so overwhelming. I’m going to college in the fall and I feel like I’m not ready. I don’t even know if I picked the right thing. I’m so scared of what’s next. I’m so destructive to myself now, how am I going to be when I’m alone? How much worse is it going to get? I can’t trust myself to not be impulsive. I’m so tired. I just want to hide from everything for a while and shut down. The antidepressants just make me more tired but I’m numb. I don’t even know if I’m sad anymore. It’s all just kinda numb. Maybe that’s why I want to drink again, to feel something. Id do anything to numb it all for a bit. I don’t want to be here but I’m to scared to do anything. I’m just coasting now. How long do I walk till I accept the fact that I’m lost? I’ve got so much to lose yet it’s like I’m already expecting the fall. I feel like I’m destined to crash at some point. Maybe I want to crash. All this weight from my past as well is just so overwhelming. All this shit from someone who hurt me. I’ll never get closer. I’ll never be able to tell him how much he damaged me. I’ll never be able to ask him if it was worth it for his own sick fucking thrills. I’ll never get to hurt him how he hurt me. I’ll always be left with this unbearable weight that I’ll never be able to shake. Why am I still afraid of him and everything he did? Why won’t my brain let me forget? Why does it have to hurt so much? Phantom hands are all over me and constantly burn me. I hate it. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate feeling like this. Why do I wallow in my own self pity?
I have a friend that a rlly cared abt and had a fight but then he said that was a loner and have no irl friends so i cried at that time and had enough i blocked him and left the gc that we were in i cried and nedded this playlist so ty for making this. :']
I like this, it’s comforting.
It's almost the day my mom and dad died, I bet it's all my fault they passed away. I just recently lost my 8 year old cat, and my sister. My sister loves one of my rapist, and I recently got sexually assaulted by my uncle and nobody believes me, most my family ignores me and say I am faking it and lying, my grandma says cps will take me and my little cousins away if I talk about my uncle living with us. She says it'll be all my fault..
Plz don't get mad at me..
I am sorry I jammed everything on here
I don't have anyone to talk to and I was tiered of holding my feeling in.. I just need a escape for a little.
Dont be sorry! this is a safe place to let out your thoughts and worries :)) im so very sorry for your losses. Im also sorry to hear the way people treat you. you dont deserve this, i know it is hard but do know we believe what you say and if you ever need to talk you know where to come
Hey❤️ you didn’t do anything wrong. Your family’s own self-caused feelings are there problem and shouldn’t blame that on you, and as some friendly advice if you want to take the chance…you should call get some proof and call CPS you and your younger family shouldn’t stay in that hell hole it has the risk of causing you guys to end up like those other family members. The better route is taking the chance of living with a different family or even in a adoption home. Oh and the part about your mom and dad passing away that isn’t your fault either death cannot be prevented if you never knew it was coming or couldn’t tell. But I wish you well
No one is going to get upset love one here❤️ your going to be fine I promise and I would tell someone because if you don’t the situation is going to get worse it don’t matter if it would be your fault or not because you were doing the right thing trust me tell someone it will be good for you 🥺
TW: Suicide mentioned
So ever since I was little I’ve been unhappy I was picked on for my weight, my teeth, my looks I guess, and I’ve always had a hard time making friends… I can’t really go into detail with how many failed friendships I’ve had but it’s a lot and now I have severe trust issues. Well when I was younger I’ve always been alone and I guess I noticed I didn’t like being alone much so I tried and tried but every time I did I would be made fun of and it got really bad that I started to imagine my death. I’ve thought about it all the time until one day I decided to do it we’ll attempt but I was caught and immediately put into therapy for years until I got to high school I made my family believe I was better because I made really good online freinds and talked a lot about anime’s I’d watch and cosplay, yk ? Ig they didn’t expect it.
I guess the thing is not only just getting hurt by others and being abandoned but the hatred I have for myself. I hate myself so much I wish I was never born I wish I never even existed, and every night I have these horrible scenerios in my head that are super graphics feel like I’m actually sick and mental I feel like I need help I don’t feel normal I feel insane and alone and just disgusted in myself. I hate myself so much I try to find ways to ignore these feelings but I can’t every day every single day I think about ways … of how I should go and sometimes I feel like it’s not long from now I feel like one of these days I could do it. I will do it. I have family who try’s to help but end up hurting me instead of helping they don’t understand me and when I talk back to explain my feelings they say I’m ridiculous and over reacting they tell me it’s not that serious and make me feel-like my feelings aren’t valid . I understand they try to help but a lot of the times it’s like they take advantage of my depression and use it back on me to hurt me. I hate being treated like a mental person, I hate when they don’t treat me like a normal human being, all I want is to be happy. But everyday it seems impossible. So why am I even here if my life is going to be so miserable everyday.
There’s so much I have to say but venting here isn’t enough to even explain the way I’m feeling or the things I’m going through.
If your reading this thank you for listening to my story. Well bits of it and stay safe don’t be like me and just try to give life another chance.
I did and it didn’t work for me but I’m still here lol suffering. Anyways You can do it ♥️:)
I love you and a lot of people too even though you haven’t met them yet :)
from now on ill go off of this quote
"I will never receive as much as I give."
Same no matter how hard I try it just seems like I get punished
POV; your trying but theres always that one person stopping your way out to freedom yet its your 3rd time trying and you get tired then bang
tysm my mum keeps accuse me of stuff i havent done and always yells at me for nothing + i always get yelled at for my siblings actions :(
My mom always keep yelling at me whenever her mood is bad,she call me "headache" and then literally forget about it and ask me "what's wrong?" I'm literally so sick of this shit.life was interesting recently because of him but finding out him/mycrush isn't single days ago make my heart ache and now I'm losing it again. Studies is getting hard and harder to focus,I'm so sick of everything.
my mom recently found out I sh and she didn’t even care never asks me if I’m okay just tried to avoid the topic and makes jokes about it, today I found out if I skip school one more time they’ll exclude me. Everyone is so mad at me for not trying but I have been it’s been so hard but I always tried to stay for them. I just feel like even they don’t care anymore I’ve got no one, not a single person keeping me here so why
if you want some help I can offer if you have discord or Snapchat ❤️
people suck when all you got is your self you gotta take care of the only one who has always been youre number 1 which is yourself and since you have been number treat yourself nicely says nice things and think nice things about yourself truly. The enemy puts people to hurt you in youre path because he doesnt want you to go the destiny where Jesus is taking you.
I care about you deeply please dont comit suicide its a lie when they maybe its better on the other side. my friend commited suicide and my family member heart stopped and it start beating again she was in hell and my friend is there only sufffering 100x worse its all horrible
I don’t really vent much, but it’s all getting too much for me to handle.
TW
I’ve been struggling with family problems. My mom is an alcoholic and my step-dad is either always drunk or high. My biological dad died when I was two and I guess this is where it all stems from? I have 6 other siblings, 3 have moved out and 3 still live at home, so as you can imagine it’s pretty hard for my mom to look after us all (especially since my step-dad is never around and when he is he just sits on his ass doing nothing.)
I love my mom, so much, but when she’s stressed out she takes it out on me and my siblings (me and my older brother are the main ‘targets’) shes said some messed up shit to me, like she’s going to k-word herself and it’ll be my fault, I’m just like my father (not necessarily a bad thing, but it upsets me nonetheless) that im a disappointment, I’m greedy/selfish for being lgbtq+, stuff like that. And tbh, yesterday I was planning to k-word myself just to get away from everything but I ended up not doing it because of my friends. There’s been multiple occasions where she’s been out partying or drinking and hasn’t come home until like 3am which leaves my older brothers to look after me and my younger brother. My best-friends mom was like my second mother, she was a great person, unfortunately, she died early October in a car accident and since then I’ve just felt pretty alone. I don’t even trust my friends at this point because of all the emotional trauma I’ve been through. I just wish this would all stop.
sorry about that, just had to let it out.
I had this friend and I loved her so much. we were best friends and we did everything together. we went to the same school and we still live in the same neighborhood. when we went to new schools, instead of her parents sending her to the school right next to our neighborhood, they sent her to a private school because of covid. I should have realized that when she didn't sign up for classes like everyone else. our friendship was kind of on and off with me not being able to see her. she always had something after school on weekdays, and since my parents are divorced, I would go to my dad's house every other weekend. we would still hang out when we could though.
when winter break came along, neither of us went anywhere. we spent a lot of time together and with our friends. after we went back to school, she ghosted me. I've sent her so many texts and called her so many times but she doesn't answer. I'm constantly wondering when she'll text me back. she's also broken a lot of promises recently. before she ghosted me I had a fall performance for my chorus class. she promised to come but that night I didn't see her. I texted her later and she said that she forgot and she would come next time.
that hurt so much. I couldn't believe that she remembered the day we first met and so many other things but something that was so important to me she forgot about. she used to be such a big part of my life and now she's gone. she was my only friend in our old school.
I saw her once and I told her that I had a crush on this girl. the next time I saw her, we were dating, after that, I asked her to be my girlfriend. she wasn't there while I was figuring out my sexuality even though I really wish she was.
I could really use a friend that wouldn't hurt me, that would take me seriously, that I could be comfortable around, that I could vent to. she was that person but now all my friends won't take me seriously and I don't want to worry my girlfriend.
i just want my best friend back
I'm sorry that she ghosted you and everything, but maybe I could be the friend you can vent to? I'm not too good at comforting, but I will try my best to help you.
a piece i made listening to this playlist:
sometimes i wanted to breakdown because my voice was never heard even when i spoke, but im honestly tierd now so why dont you lay down next to me and we can just talk or just sit there....in silence, where the only voices we hear are our thoughts and the music that would make us cry and rage our heart outs, until i find someone to do this with..ill wait and listen to silence till i hear your voice :))
-thank you...ill go make you a sandwhich now >:))))
I love muffled songs it reminds me of something I can't remember
I don't even feel so sad anymore... I'm just so tired from all the vomiting, diarrheas, drug addiction, alcohol, not taking care of my mental health, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, people don't liking me and always pleasing others... I need a break from everything... I hope that one day I'll stoping being so tired of being so tired and I'll find comfort in simple things but who knows... Also the fact that there is haunt me x3 is here made my day... I'm a die hard teen suicide fan hahahaha... Great playlist !
Heavily relate to this. Alcohol has been my crutch and it’s hard to see the me I was before wash away because I need something to numb it all. It’s like I’m a ghost. It’s just a lot. I stopped Taking care of myself for a bit as well and I faced sexual abuse that still haunts me. Just know you aren’t alone. It’s nice to know there’s someone out there with a similar experience. Thank you for sharing your hardships.
@@lettuceforlife4827 you have a great music taste!
@@matejilakovac4173 same goes for you
Only 20 years... I've been walking upon this earth..... And there are a lot of things I realised pretty quickly. Some I have shallowed and diagested, others... Still trying to understand or cope with... And being an introverted character makes life harder, then there are all of those labels people have put on me, useless, incel, simp, failure, you're a loner which means you are a loser, and all that "good" stuff... They don't know how hard it is to face your own self and fight CONSTANLY to improve your self-image so you can be better out there... Close friends of mine called me strong for having to fight such a war with myself, but there are times I can't feel like I can continue... I've already turned in a lot of pain, suffering, defeats, failures, dissapointments, and heartbreaks and I seem to add more and more... There are times when I am the "beast" among people, with my hard work, but still... It's not enough... Being strong is both a blessing and a curse, for you endure the hardships life throws at you, but the effort you put in being strong can exhaust you... No matter what, I feel left behind whenever I go out there, having to fight myself and society as well, when I'm labeled with all those words... They don't know what I'm going through and although some may understand, it doesn't change anything because it's not their war, but mine..... Since childhood, fighting is what I'm best at, fighting to prove something to me and others, to find a place where I can say I belong to, to discover the people I deserve to have in my life...... I'm... already tired... of this... I hope one day all of this would pay off, peace can be astablished when the war ends, after all.... hehe...... It's been a while since I shed some tears....
Whoever read this, thank you for letting me taking a bit of your time to share my little vicious struggle over here... I pray, you continue your progress in life and shine like a star..... We gonna make it brahs.... heh....
Ok I just want to say thank you I was listening to this and laying down I was anxious and tried at the moment because all of the drama happening in the world after listening I felt better clam and relax so thank you .
This world is so unbelievable crule, I grew up so fast and so not right. I'm a 16 year old whose still afraid of thunderstorms, I hardly look my age, and my mental illnesses inconvenience myself and the people around me catastrophically. I'm Trans so that's great to have with everything else. I got really close to ending my life, I traumatized my dad and sibling, but I know it wasn't as traumatizing as what they've done to me. Flinching when people move to fast near me (sibling), wanting to hide at evey loud noise (dad). I was inseparable from my mom you could say she "babied" me, when she just cared a bunch. She passed near the end of seventh grade I'm in 11th now. It's the hardest thing for me, Dads moved on and we live with my step mom and her sons, my sibling and mom had a complicated relationship so there's no remorse there. My sibling and I were inseparable and only now do I realize how detrimental to my future sticking close to them would be. My whole life revolved aroundthere's, I saw the world from the comfortable place behind them, but now I find myself without them just realizing I've never prospered anything never keept friends, I have no idea what the Frick my personality is. And it DOES NOT HELP that my brain warps any understanding myself. I've been to therapy they treat me like a normal case, I don't get better. I get medicine it initially help but then fades. My life is just one bad situation after another, it's like the world's telling me this isn't my place. I'm not ready to grow up, but it's to late, I'm to late, I'm always to late.
Nothing bad has happend to me but im just tired of living. (But im not giving up tho so dont be concerned
If you feel like theres no reason to live then find yourself one! I dont mean that in a sarcastic way but find a reason in the people you love or pets or just making peoples day. Life has its mountains but once you reach the peak in life it is truly beautiful. Keep going :))
@@sleepyhead7175 thank you for your kind Words!
@@-Kiro-yt No problem my friend :))
@@-Kiro-yt people suck when all you got is your self you gotta take care of the only one who has always been youre number 1 which is yourself and since you have been number treat yourself nicely says nice things and think nice things about yourself truly. The enemy puts people to hurt you in youre path because he doesnt want you to go the destiny where Jesus is taking you.
@@-Kiro-yt also please never commit sucide my friend did it not in a good place bro and its sad because my family member heart stopped she came back and went to hell and he is there now and its not fun, This place is amazing compared to down there, Ive seen it once too im traumatized. Im not trying to scare you in a bad way if you jump out of a plane you jump with a parachute cuz its that fear of death so fear is not your enenmy all the time it can also be youre friend. and i dont know you but you are my brother or sister and i care about you deeply. just know everything will get better i may take long or short but it will work out but in the mean time treat yourself nice and be nice to your self because your only gonna feel worse if you let your situation bother you
i never thought this would happen to me. i cant do it anymore. i saw it when i was young and never thought it would happen. but here we are. i can't even go to school without almost throwing up bc of my anxiety. i can't be diagnosed because im young and my parents won't take me. my school won't do anything bc im not diagnosed. i wish it would end.
I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I get these random episodes of super intense emotion, anger usually. They can be triggered by the stupidest things, for instance my hair felt weird on my head today and I had to go in a room alone and tie it up because I was about to lose it. Why am I like this? Why do I get angry or sad at the stupidest things, yet I’m “ok” when bad things happen? I remember my friends had talked to me about how I had been a pretty damn bad friend, and I cried. But later that day? I was fine. I was actually really happy. But why, please. I just don’t know anymore.
As children we were told life isn't fair, they never said it would be this unfair
I know how you feel sorry about what ever happened
im so scared to just end it all.
I never really grasped what depression was when I was younger. I’m 15 now. I know all about it.
I hear the words my “best friend” calls me.
I hear what my teachers say about me.
I hear when my parents talk about me.
I know what everyone thinks.
Saying anything about it means I’m being paranoid.
Talking about my feelings means I’m spoiled, or to young to understand what I’m saying.
Being happy is being cocky.
Being angry is unfair.
Being scared is weak.
Being me is laughed upon.
So what the hell am I supposed to do?
I just want to sleep forever.
Never to wake up.
I never really grasped what depression was when I was younger. I’m 15 now. I know all about it.
I've been bullied for three years since I was in school
I was always that weird kid who was excluded and hated by everyone.
this at school
at home the story was different,
I woke up with my mother screaming at my grandmother who is very good, I could hear her doing it in every way possible and I was very sorry for her.
That day I had to go to school again, where a classmate stopped me when I was wearing my jacket in the back hanger of the classroom,
I obviously fell for it, and I got annoyed and shot him, telling him to stop with these funny jokes he had.
then he kept teasing me all day, he picked up my phone when I was listening to music and started running with him all over school.
I obviously wanted the phone back and ran after it.
I was shaking to the limit and I couldn't breathe, all I wanted at that moment was to get my phone back.
I had begun to cry at one point during that break.
and even a little in the next hour.
when the next break came, he came from outside and threw a ball at me, doing nothing to us, just sitting on the bench with his headphones on.
then I got very angry and grabbed him and knocked him to the ground, screaming at him and stepping on his feet.
I retreated to the bathroom and punched the wall and hoped to calm down there before re-entering the classroom.
but I had made too much noise, so a maid came over to me in the bathroom and started shooting at me while I was crying and shaking intensely.
At the time, I wrote on a piece of paper how much I hated my life and how long I wanted to die instead of being able to live such a shitty life.
The headmistress had found out the next day about the whole affair with this boy, but from the way I reacted to her, it was abnormal, as if she were telling me that I shouldn't beat him and that I should endure all the mockery he was giving me.
he had threatened to drop my two decks for misconduct.
I mean, what she doesn't know ...
mental brake down
Thanks man, I needed this so badly I have been so stressed lately about things and I just needed something to relax and calm down to, this helped so much thank you
My friend died of accident few days ago. She was so healthy and all so no one knew this will happen. I still can't believe this and the fact that there's nothing I can do. I cried too much that I got migraines now. But I still need to do my homework. So I'm listening to this. I just couldn't help but leave a comment haha..
Honestly, I have been the therapist friend so many times. Specifically to my one friend who never left my side. I get so tired of people sometimes and handling their emotions an turning it into something better for them to keep going. Don’t get me wrong I love helping people, but when you have to do it for quite a while and they never really stop, it just gets tiring. I have to actually put myself into what they might be feeling in order to understand them and make the right words or choices. But I’ve lost trust in so many people. Many stop talking to me or fell distant. A few who betrayed me. And the one friend I needed the most, who was suffering through so much, she had left me. I can’t keep going to her even though she’s gone through more than I have but she let me go. I don’t know how to express my feelings sometimes so I try to write it out. Though I am aware my family will find it so I don’t know how I can anymore. But hey, it’s only another day just to keep going through the pain and hoping it gets better :/
dude helping people is amazing !! you are an amazing friend and person and i know that you are aware that you're a really empatic person too
i'm so proud of you for being such an amazing person
but you're a human too and other's happiness isn't your responsability
caring about other people needs is great but don't put them before yours
i love you and i know that you're struggling and i'm very happy that ou're trying yoyr best to let your emotions out
I’m the therapist friend too, so they’re all used to trauma-dumping me and not asking me if im okay or if I wanna talk about something. I now dont care about myself and will just listen. (I still eat and everything)
It’s alright to have people vent to you sometimes but if they start doing stuff like that then you need to change the subject there feelings are not your problem you are not the cause of there feelings and what happen to them
I'm so tired of thinking how people see me
I hope i can change and be more confident of myself
When I’m with my family they treat me so badly, I’ve done mistakes in the past, they can’t help but think I’m doing it again it’s exhausting being watched 24/7 not having privacy. My sister I’ve done so much for her like so so fking much but she still treats me so badly like really bad as much as I hate to say this she’s a horrible sister I can’t fact it anymore. My friends every time I talk about my feelings they change the topic of turn it into arguments and jokes, one of them blames me for making her mom trust her less when I did literally nothing. People just randomly block me for no reason and I’m staring to think I’m the problem. A had a fight at school once and there’s this girl who kept spreading rumors about me, and literally everyone I had been friends with left me and treated me differently, there’s this girl we were best friends for so long 6 years, when Covid happened we stopped talking because I wasn’t in contact with her, now when I see her in the hallways we don’t even smile at each other. I have so much more to say but this is the ones on my mind.
What it feel like to loving yourself tho. Most of my life I'm struggling with self-loath. I hate what my face looks like, so disgusting to look myself in the mirror. My mom, grandma and my aunt always criticize my appearance when I'm still a little kid. Now, I'm 20 years old still crying because of it. It's break my heart when I'm thinking of it. I'm still remember when my mom found a picture of me when I was 6 years old in a box and the first sentence came out from her mouth is "so ugly" its make me want to cry at that time. My mom always ask me why I don't socialize and going out, little does she know that her words give bad impact to my self-esteem. Right now I just want to find happiness and want to give myself some love that I need. I just need to find myself cause I'm lost right now. ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ
I wish you all the best, keep holding on 💕
oh it's so sad sorry i hole you be more happy good luck and i know the difficulties of this situation but you can do it
Usually your parent calling you their angel would be fine, instead it may bring you pride, a sense of confidence, some sense of belonging knowing that you can help. But not when you had to grow up so early and so quickly.
I have given up my childhood to reach my mum’s standards to not embarrass her. I have torn myself to shreds to keep reaching for a level of perfection that no 3-6 year old should be reaching for. I pulled my tendon but continued on because I didn’t want her to lecture me for getting in trouble. It’s not permanently damaged. Now I am giving up my teenage years, the years that I’ll debatably be the most free, the years where I’m supposed to be the most happy, I have spent the most of them at home. Even if I want to go out I can’t, because I am my sisters’ second mother. Because I need to stay home and look after them. Because I need to stay home and clean the place. Because I need to stay home and make sure she is getting good grades and the other isn’t choking on her toys. Because I am the eldest and her guardian angel, so I have to do the things she doesn’t want to do. Because I know more than her so I sit her exams. I do her homework. I teach her things from her courses because she’s too tired to do anything but instead has plenty energy to yell at me for the windows not being clean.
Now she wants my adulthood too. If I want to stay at home, in the country where I feel safe and comfortable to study, I have to truly take her place. I have to provide for my family, I become their mom, I look after them, I pick them up from school, I look after my dad. Why can’t I live my own life? Why can’t I just be what I want to be? Why do I have to do this? Why do I have to have children for you to love me? Why do you still call me a mistake? I don’t want ti he your guardian angel anymore. I want to be a child. I want to sleep in, I want to have a childhood. I want to live my life. I just want to live my life. Is that so hard?
People in my class all ways say "oh I just wanna cry you don't how it feels to wanna cry every day"and I just wanna tell them that is what I have been doing for the last 3 years but I can't cause I'm to scared to even tell my mum because I think it might cause a problem
and I know it wont but I'm just really scared.
Hey you. I know you might be going through a tough time. But it’s gonna be ok. Just so you know I love you, i might not know who you are but, i love you. You are special, every person is unique. It’s gonna be ok love ❤️
I'll never be like anyone and that sounds so controversial but I can't even describe it in words. No phrase or vocab in this world can describe what I'm feeling. Even though it's always easier to write rather than speak. I don't even know if I'm feeling anything at all, or maybe everything at once? Back to the top though. I can't ever seem to find a group or spot to fit Into. And when i do, there's atleast 1 thing that ruins it all. It could be a person, or what someone said, what someone did. And I can't bare it, I'm literally in the vicious cycle of finding friends then they go, or I go first, which makes me feel horrible, but its always for a reason. I have 2 friends currently. And I'm so scared itll fall apart. Except, it already is, for one of us atleast. Me and the other girl laugh and talk so much that we get told off in lessons. But the other girl is shut out. I try to include her, but it always seems to fade quickly, no matter what I do. And she's the most sweet, caring girl you'd ever know. She's a little TOO cautious though. I'm VERY VERY VERY cautious, to the point where I can barely stand up to give a pile of books to the teacher. But I'm not so much cautious with other casual things. But she is. Even with the most simple things, she finds a way too make it difficult for all 3 of us. And I HATE HATE HATE myself for saying this, but it'd SO UNBELIEVABLY ANNOYING. Again, I'm sorry, but it's so irritating that she makes the SMALLEST things turn to instant fear and confusion. And it breaks me to see the name of our group chat between only the 3 of us. Its called "The perfect trio" but I know we most definitely aren't the perfect trio. More like the perfect duo and the one who sits out because she thinks getting your book out before the teacher says will get you a detention. You may feel sorry for this girl, and think she's going through a lot, and I'd argue for as long as I need to, but i can't change everyone's view. But you can't judge either, you aren't in my spot. Everything is so confusing. I'm CONSTANTLY trying to keep this friendship alive, even though it's not even hanging by a thread anymore, more like hanging on a cobweb. One slightly wrong move or swipe, and it instantly falls apart. Nobody understands that not being able to find a stable spot society, and not being able to find a stable spot with yourself, makes your life a living hell. And after all that frustration, someone will scold you ever so softly, about something small, most likely something your fault. If you don't get what i just meant, then imagine you're carrying around a glass of water. The water represents everything horrible you're feeling. Today, the glass is about to overflow. But so far, you're keeping it together. Then you're parent mentions you should do something a teensy bit productive, or pick some clothes off the floor, do your homework etc. And this absolutely fucking flips over your glass entirely and it smashes onto the floor into millions of pieces. Because after EVERYTHING, you have an expectation. No matter how small, its just so triggering in such a hatred filled way, that not only does your mood drop by a trillion even though you were already suffering, but you also completely snap. You don't mean to snap. You just lose ALL control over your feelings, thoughts and senses. When I get angry, I cry and cry, pick off my skin, I do anything too feel something but anger,to end it in a way, if you will. And it never works. It's stupid and a HORRIBLE way to cope. But as I said, it just happens. I can't think, it just happens. I have so much support in my life so I don't understand why I'm like this, after everything.
Before i begin, some words might be ‘suicidal’ and triggering.
honestly, I know i’m late to these comments, but i’m honestly sick of being called ‘disgusting’ for being a furry.
I’m sick of being stereotyped. I’m sick of being called ‘UwU’ and ‘Quirky’. It’s really getting to me.
Sometimes I feel like just bashing my skull against a wall, or even just letting it out. Honestly, the worst thing a person can do, is try to make you
perfect, and perfect is an ugly word to me. and being told that i’m not beautiful cause i’m a furry actually hurts. since i was nine, I had a dream of becoming a famous
youtuber. but my dreams and hopes were crushed by my parents and friends. They told me stuff like “Furries cant be youtubers! Who would even watch a furry’s content??”
Sorry if i wasted time complaining about my life. I love whoever you are. stay healthy, and safe out there, it’s a cruel and unfair world sometimes!. ❤❤
I'm also a furry and that's the reason I normally dont tell people. I want to do art for my job in the future but my dad is constantly telling me that I can't get any money from it, I know he's doing it to protect me but I don't need protection.
In summary I know what it's like... you're not alone
Finally a good playlist I've been searching for so long now nothing ever matches my feelings but this does! Thanks a lot!
ur amazing everyone whos reading this:)
vent:
my mom treats me so differently than my brother. She doesn't take it seriously that he vapes and does other things but when it comes to me, I have to be perfect. I have to have perfect grades, perfect mental health, popular with lots of friends. I'm none of that. Just today she messaged me saying I should be mad at myself for failing and that she wishes she had her daughter back who loved herself and life. She's traumatized me, done things no parent should do to their kid. She's given me depression and anxiety at such a young age, and it's only worsened. My life has gone so downhill, I was bullied and harassed for 2 years, and all my mom told me was to ignore them. Even when I did all I gotten was threats from them. If I were to tell her about it, she would get mad at ME. Then proceeded to get mad at me from getting in a fight with my bullies and telling me I have to work off my fine, yet my brother has been in 2 and has been suspended so many different times, detention and she doesn't care. She tells me I need to put myself out there, but I was bullied for the longest time in my life, and she wants me to suck it up and be friends with my bullies. All because of her, I've tried ending it so many times, I tried to OD on my depression and anxiety meds one night after I heard her and her bf saying if the guy I was dating had any brains he wouldn't date me. That pushed me to my limit, and I took about 6-7. I was so tired, so tired of her and everyone . If it wasn't for my boyfriend who was on call with me, I'd probably would of taken more, but he told my mom and she ran upstairs. She automatically makes herself the victim and instead of being sympathetic, she tells me that I would hurt so many people. It was back in December, I haven't tried since. I have many stories with her, but I just can't with her anymore. I'm the oldest and only daughter and she wants me to be perfect? Was told for years that any girl over 120 lbs. was considered fat by my own brother(mind I was 126 for years) until about 2 years ago, my weight has been between 119 and 124 for awhile now and she tells me that her and I need to go on a diet and exercise.
Sorry for such a long vent, I just needed to put it down somewhere
! Vent warning !
No matter what I do I find something to hate about myself and nobody tells me they love me anymore.
Even my most beloved friend makes me so sad sometimes, and it’s all my fault. He’s been nothing but wonderful. Even if I didn’t do anything sometimes it feels like my very existence is exhausting for him. But If me disappearing will hurt him, what can I do?
First I love you even if I haven’t met you before
Second go see someone that can help like someone at school or someone at your work
Thirdly fuck the people that make you sad please get out there and make new ones and if they don’t work out don’t talk to them just make new ones and remember you body it perfect and you should never be made to feel like it isn’t you deserve a lot better than what you’ve got right now I hope you the best
@@wybieplaysrdr2836 truly one of the kindest things anyone has ever said to me thank you. sometimes the BPD hits a little too hard lol ( and I have a therapist, so I'm seeing someone as of now! I'm lucky to have one )
@@pawntiff1810 that’s good I’m glad you got help
Just with the start I feel more calmed, thank you
Idk how long I will last. Im this close to do it. Im just tired and I need and deserve a break. So why not? Its not like I have someone to talk to, no one will understand me anyway. And when I vent, people always say:
Its not always abt you...
Its just a phase dont worry...
What abt the others, for example, your family and friends are gonna be sad...
Yeah, ik, its all my fault, Im SORRY that Im feeling this way... *Im really stupid, arent I?*
there is nothing wrong with you, they simply dont understand thats all
they either arent willing to listen and help or dont care
they dont deserve your time if they treat your emotions like that
i wish you all the best and i hope you find people you can really be close with, people who are willing to listen, willing to understand you, be that the good and bad
thank you so much for this im mentally ill and i want to relapse and music is my soft spot i love you :o(. -
life has been hella confusing lately and i don’t know how to deal with it anymore.
my mother is very unhappy in life and she’s told me she’s going to move. not tomorrow or in a week, but maybe in a year or two from now. and my dad asked me for my thoughts on that and i told him honestly that i would like to live somewhere else too. the place we live in carries a lot of bad memories for me, a lot of them traumatising. “so you’d go with her then?” is what he said.
it leaves me confused, because my father doesn’t seem like he is going to go with her. he isn’t bothered by the things that make her unhappy. and my mother said she wants to be financially independent. does this mean they will divorce? i haven’t had the courage to ask.
and i don’t know; would i go with her?
the relationship between my mother and me is weird. we love each other greatly, she cares for me and supports me in every way she can. in that aspect i couldn’t ask for anything better.
but she has done a lot of unforgivable things that hurt me badly.
she has traumatised me.
I understand. I'm going through this every day. It's like hell. They make up, then an arguement happens. Then they do it again, And again, And again. Since I was born. Am I the problem? They ARE supposed to realize im here too. Right?
no matter how much makeup I use ill feel good for a minute and the next ill see my friends and itll all go downhill. then i just try harder and harder and nothing ever works, im still not pretty enough.
Soo, Everyones here right know?
To the person reading, have a great day 😊, dont hate your self, Love your self, even if you feel like they all hates you, ❤ Love your self 😊
Im always always the one THAT COMFORTS PEOPLE, why is it NEVER my turn to be comforted? Its always me me oh youre such a good friend for listening BUT I DONT WANNA LISTEN i want to help you but theres nothing i can really do, i dont want to be your therapist and i dont want you to be mine either but its never fair
I know what it's like. No matter how hard we try it just seems like we get punished
I don’t remember what’s it’s like to not physically be in pain and I hate it I don’t think I’ll be able to get a job when I’m older because I can’t go very long without a new medical issue occurring everything is overlapping and I can’t tell where it ends and off it will I’m tired of 2 years and no pay off just more problems and a longer list of meds that don’t work at all or anymore I feel more like a guinea pig rather than a person I can’t take it much longer and I’m tired of feeling bad over envying my brother for being in a body that never has had problems and then getting yelled at bc I say why can’t he have it instead like I’m not 15 and spending my teen years going to doctors instead of being able to do normal things I want to be pain free for a day just one single day that’s all I ask for but that will never happen bc this body hates me I’m just tired of living completely
thank you for making this
Exhausted. Mentally, physically, and emotionally. Every single day. At this point, I can recognize my negative thoughts. I know I want to get rid of them. I know they make me withdraw from social situations. I know they make me a totally different person than who I really am. I know the negativity attracts negativity to me. I know that the way people treat me by not starting conversations with me or giving me attention is because of my negative thoughts. But, if I know all of this...
Why can’t I control it? Turn down the dial. Switch it off.
I just want it to end. I want to be happy. Float upon the clouds, no worries in the air, and feeling lifted into nature’s fresh breeze. My heart aches for it. But, why can’t I have it? Why must I keep enduring pain? Why must I go through this alone? I feel closed off but I want to open up. I need someone to hear me....
Before....
Boom. Boom. Boom. Hate. Disgust. Anger. Sad. Swirling in my mind until they explode into something more dreadful. Stop. Stop. Stop. Courage. Confidence. Esteemed. Love. But, no matter how hard I try...you just feel exhausted.
At least of my close friends is lying to me about something important and I don‘t know who it is. I don‘t know who I can trust anymore.
I hate that I exist... I just don't understand.... Why am I so bad at everything? My mom even called me annoying... I'm sorry... its my fault I'm like this. I don't know enough about the world yet, but I do know that my GF loves me, and to me, that's all that matters. My world is hers to reign, and we could live there forever... I just want to see her again.
I know what you’re feeling and I’m sorry :(( you don’t deserve to be in pain, you sound like a lovely human! :DD Don’t hate that you exist, you’re here for a reason! Who knows, you could be saving lives and you don’t even know it! You’re not bad at everything, you’re certainly not bad at breathing if you’re still here! There’s small things I bet you’re good at but just don’t know yet, you just need to search around and discover! You’re not annoying, got it? Your mom might be going through something as well and is just letting out her anger on you which sucks :(( but I’m glad you got a GF you can love! I’m... im still trying to get one :,DD so that enough shows you’re good at another thing! You’re good at loving other people! It’s also not your fault for being like this, the way you are now is beautiful! I love you, for being you!/p it’ll be alright, I know I’m a stranger but I wish you the best in the future. Be strong! I know it’s hard, but I know you’ll do your best!
@@blubblub1646 thank you. i needed that ☺
I hate that you think you hate that you exist, you wake up every morning even after going through stuff, you live another day because you have purpose. I mean you even have a love life, and I am bad at everything to, but I ignore the people that say i'm useless and more, I don't like spending time wasting my energy on what others think, so I always try to be a better me at times. Even if you might now love yourself to, your gf does, so don't go away, stay there, not for her only, but for you and the others that are waiting for you in the future.
I care about you deeply please dont comit suicide its a lie when they maybe its better on the other side. my friend commited suicide and my family member heart stopped and it start beating again she was in hell and my friend is there only sufffering 100x worse its all horrible
The need the ROAR since on its own so I can loop that. I love this playlist.
I needed this thank you
My dad has told me countless times that im a disgrace to him and his last name, and ill never be good enough for him or anyone else..not even for myself.
He tells me im nothing but a snowflake and a waste of his time. But then calls me while hes drunk and points out all my flaws all my imperfections, then tell me he loves me. No matter how well i do in school or anything else its not enough it'll never be enough. I dont even know how to respond to him anymore i shut down, i cry, i get angry, i stay quiet, i try and talk to him. Noting is good enough.
Ive even told him that the stuff he says and does hurts me and im at the end of my line and that i dont want to live anymore. And he says im selfish for that "how could i do that to him" after all he "loved me".... My dad is a stupid alcoholic asshole who doesn't know how to be anything more than a drunk.
His words are burned into my brain "your a disgrace to MY last name"
Around 2,3 years ago i had to push my dad off his girlfriend because he had his hands around her neck, i stood there between a drunk man and a woman with her kids who were so scared, and so was i knowing that if i were to aggravate him anymore he could really hurt me.
A few months ago i had a panic attack and i felt so scared it felt like he was yelling at me it felt like he was really there i curled up into a corner and cried while my mom tried to comfort me. But that didn't last long she got stressed and and started yelling at me instead to shut up because he's not even here.
And now im here barely managing but going to therapy and being comforted by a loving boyfriend. But i wouldn't say i would have a happy ending.
My dad is still in my life and as much as
i hate him as much as he hurts me...
He's my dad and i love him..
My mom is a complete monster
Everytime I try to talk to her she seems bored. But when she talks i have to listen or she gets mad. And she's always talking about her. About the fact that she has a horrible life. Horrible childs. And when i ask her to think about me, her child, she tell me that i never listen to her and always talk about me. She's been in a depression for 3 years. And she destroyed me. I can't even be myself around her. Im not myself with my friends, i lie to them telling im fine.
The fact is that im just completely lost. And i hate me more than everything in this cruel world. I wish i could just grow up faster and go far away in my own home and peace.
I want to be happy again. I want to smile and laugh all day, i want to laugh till I run out of breath, until my ribs start to hurt from laughing so much, i don't want to be sad anymore, i want to smile without having to fake it, i want to play with my friends all day and have the time of my life. depression is the worst thing that happened to me, it ruined my life everything about me is ruined and destroyed. i think about killing myself everyday and i can't stop thinking about when i'm gonna take my last breath or even if dying is the case, is it really gonna be as peaceful as i wish it to be? I'm so tired of everything and i just want to be by myself all day. I miss being happy to be at school, i miss everything about my childhood and i would do anything to go back in time and be with myself and just watch the younger me being happy and enjoying life and just being happy to be there and living my best life my child self could even imagine but it was all taken for granted. i hate myself so much and younger self would cringe at me so much. i want to die and i'm honestly disgusted with myself.
This hits a little to close to home but I just can’t find out where all of this started so I can fix it
We just got to try a little bit harder ig
Same..Time flies:(
I just need a hug
i need this...
i have a narcissist for a mother and whenever i try to escape her she just comes back and mentally punches me in the gut, yes she once put her hands on me but most of the abuse is mentally.
i am also struggling with issues I don't want to speak of such as memories of my parental figures fighting i cant go into much details with these because now even arguing seriously triggers me.
my mother ignores me when i ask to see a therapist or try to get support for being trans, but i am dealing with other problems which are hard to explain, kids at my school picked on me for being pansexual and transgender. i am getting these random moments where my ears will start ringing and block out other sounds as well as my arm twitching a lot, randomly going numb or fell pain, not really where any of my nerves are and i dont recall damaging them so I'm almost certain it's not nerve damage, my anxiety levels will rapidly increase depending on the situation and sometimes i have a difficulty figuring out what was my imagination or what actually happened.
Good Playlist ^^✨
Tw: Vent. Ig.
more likely.. I've been stressed a lot. My mom's and my grandma's expectations has risen since I was little and I feel so stressed. I find happiness in gaming and drawing but it seems like it's a choir lately because of what they kept saying. My mom and my grandma always shame me. Like "your so fat" or "your clothes won't fit anymore because your fat" or something like those. I feel quite insecure about my body because of this. I mean they make good company but I don't wanna talk or speak towards them because ye-...they'll judge me. I feel stressed that the family might fall apart because of frequent fighting towards my parents or my father v.s my grandma..more likely family problems that trigger me. I easily get mad or cry even at something small. I don't get why...but I always thought it was just my personality but it wasn't anymore because..I can easily cry if you say something bad towards my family or just raise your voice. I always hear screaming and my ears won't block it out so I'm on always my headphones or earphones.
Oh, please! Don’t change how you look, or your body :((( I love you the way you are! You are the most beautiful, and pretty person ever! Your smile makes people happy, and brightens the room!
Please, Love yourself for who, and how you look.. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ I love you!!
@@Meth_Addict your words are enough to make people smile while sobbing.
I wish you only the sweetest of dreams
You’re all lucky that I’m alive right now, I am so done with all this damn drama. I don’t want to deal with it anymore. I’m so tired. I don’t wanna do my work, I don’t wanna do anything anymore. I’m so depressed I can’t even explain how I feel. He says, “Stop being emotional.” “You’ll be fine” and “If you’re so suicidal than just do it.” But I can’t. I can’t leave the people that care about me. I thought HE cared about me. He never cared about me. He never will. I don’t know why I got so caught up in the idea of a relationship with someone so cruel. He’s just joking… Right? I hope so… He says he doesn’t care, but I think he does. Still, nobody wants me, I’m so alone now. My friends all ignore me most of the time. I’m not wanted, I’ll never be wanted, I don’t understand how I can’t get over this. I thought I was used to it, but it hit me last night. I will never be good enough for anyone, not even myself.
Leave him now block him on everything and ignore him if he tries to talk to you no matter where you guys if he cared for you but made that joke he doesn’t care enough and caring for a person is the bare minimum anyone has to do. Besides that though your current top priority is you not school even tho it’s a big part, *YOU* are the priority that matters in your life right now. So do something or look at something that you know will make you happy or look up some healthy habit schedule to get you back on your track. oh and last but least ditch those friends they will never be worth it and find some new friends.
i wish i had someone there for me they way i'm there for other people. i just want someone to be here with me. i'm pretty sure my best friend has another best friend and considering i can't make friends with new people without thinking they secretly hate me and pushing away from them i'm alone. i thought i'd enjoy being alone but i'm pretty sure it would've hurt less if i had no one to begin with.
I’m not going to say I relate, cause I feel that’ll make it worse. I hope you’re okay out there, just know that there are people that love you. If you feel like crap, try looking at the sky, or the moon. And remember that, there might be someone across the world sharing that moment with you, and watching the moon/stars/sky/clouds with you. ❤
I don’t want to live at home anymore. My only escape is when I’m with my bf. And the sad thing is, I can’t cry to my mom about my bf. Instead, I cry to my bf about my mom. How sad. She doesn’t understand she hurt me in the past & I can’t just let it go. She left my brother, my dad & I when I was 14. Now she’s back thinking she could continue where she left of. Yesterday we had a fight and she basically called me a bad daughter. After everything she put me through, I’m the bad daughter ? No one has broken my heart like she has. Now I’m home sitting on the couch and listening to this trying not to cry so it doesn’t cause another argument
Stay strong, I wish you all the best
I listen to this Everyday :)
I’m back lol
I’m back again !
Back
Whoever needs to read this just know you are Beautiful, smart, and just in General a amazing person I know we don’t know each other But I know that you are trying your and right now the weight of the world we live in might feel a little right now but sometimes if you look at it at a different angle you can see the most beautiful things in it it’s seas the stars sunsets and sunrises. You ain’t perfect and that’s ok because no one in the world is your going to make mistakes your going to mess up and that’s ok because NO one is perfect and if there’s is someone telling you, YOU need to be perfect then Esther try your best to silence that thought I know it’s easier said than done but there is a lot of good you can do in the world there is so much you can do. And if there is someone telling you you need to be perfect then just remember there not perfect either you can’t tell someone to be perfect when there not perfect themselves but like I said NO one is perfect NO one is and there is soooo many people that can agree with this. Just because someone told you “you’re to overweight” or “your to skinny” just remember no one is perfect. You need to be comfortable in your own skin just because the lates fashion is to have wide hips and big boobs and a big but with a small waist don’t make you any less beautiful you are amazing in every way shape and form weather you think it or not becomes a lot of other people think that me and probably many many other people in the world if you want to keep up with the latest trends go for it you can do it but remember you don’t have to in some countries it’s a sight of Beauty and wellness in some countries to be overweight or in Egypt they prefer to be small kinda like a box shape. But it does not matter how much you weight as long as YOU are comfortable in YOUR own skin and you like and enjoy your body just remember there are people that love you and think you are drop dead gorgeous. There are also plenty of people that will and do love you. I am a introvert so I get it it’s hard to make friends I have like 3 or 2 friends right now and that’s more then a lot or peoples and I feel for them I have it good compared them I can’t say I love my body but I’m working on it and I’m getting there and I have a bf at least I think I do lol but really I have it better then MOST people and am very great-full for that but just remember I and many others are here to love and support you through your ups and downs and NO one is perfect and you are good enough idc who told you otherwise because I know that you are in my heart you are trying your best and that’s all you can do just keep doing you and very give up I’m proud of you😁👍
it’s hard to stay alive…
i don’t know what to do anymore
i feel trapped because death scares me but life makes me feel stressed and death is the easy way out.
life sucks
This might be triggering sorry
I have dealt with a drunk mom since I was 5 and a dad that literally abuses me and I don't know what to do now.... I've lost all my friends because they pushed me enough to where I finally snapped and then they played victim about it when they knew what they were doing and I lost everything bc of them. My dad had finally kicked me out bc he was tired of me and my mom just hates me now. Yayyy. So great for me. I've also relapsed and my mom expects me to talk to her but when she figures out she yells at me and lectures me abt it. I just want a hug at this point, just anything to keep me alive..