20 THINGS I'VE LEARNED IN 20 YEARS OF MARRIAGE | CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE ADVICE | GODLY WIFE ADVICE
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- čas přidán 3. 08. 2024
- In today's video I'm sharing 20 things I've learned in 20 years of marriage. If you need some Godly wife advice from someone who has made lots of mistakes, this video is for you! What's your best marriage advice?
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Hi! I’m Becky, a stay-at-home-mom/homeschooling mom/work-at-home mom of two girls. I love making videos about mom-life, homeschooling, Disney World, homeschool curriculum and routines, mom-life and more! While you're here, please subscribe to my channel, it's free!: / aplacetonest
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20 THINGS I'VE LEARNED IN 20 YEARS OF MARRIAGE | CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE ADVICE | GODLY WIFE ADVICE
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Love all of these tips! My husband and I have been married 15 years and I agree with all of what you said! Keep Christ first and your spouse second...be quick to apologize and forgive...and grow in your walk with God and in humility and wanting to serve one another in love.
Yes! Thank you!
Congrats on 20 years! My husband and I are in our 15th year. Recently we started only texting twice a day, letting me know when he gets to work and on his way home. I'm guilty of sending photos throughout the day and including him in our day with "look what the kids did!". Now I just let the kids talk to him about their day and he shares his day with us. My parents wer together almost 36 years (my dad passed on) and the best advice my dad gave was to remember that marriage is between the two people-no one else. And that marriage is accepting the other person is not there to be perfect for you. Many great things you learned in your two-decades of marriage, thank you for sharing Becky!
Our 20 year anniversary is in January! My advice is that all the answers are in the Bible.
Bingo! 🙏🏼🙏🏼
Beautiful video 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻if we aren’t praying for our mate then who is?! Great job Becky!! I will have my 35 anniversary this June 🥹🥰🙏🙏
Happy Anniversary! ❤
I have been married for twenty-five years (last November) and I want to say I have it all figured out...not really. Not even close. I believe each point you touched on is true and I agree with your points; however, I want to add some more to them. I was going to grab a piece of paper so I could write full-on notes to your points, but I didn't, so please forgive the random notes.
First, let me explain my stance. Yes, I realize I am in the minority on this. That's fine. I am not expecting to change anyone's point of view, I am simply stating it because it will help to explain some things later on. My husband and I are not in favor of dating. Did we date? Yes. That's part of why we are against it. Two bottom lines for us - 1. It doesn't teach you how to deal with relationships, but rather that if a relationship has lost the spark, you leave. I am not stating that under no circumstance can a relationship break up. There are always exceptions for earthly things; however, in the general sense, when you form casual bonds and throw in passion and carelessness, things that you regret happen. Along with memories that you now carry along with you. More importantly, if we are Christians and we believe God can do anything, why do we insist that dating, forming intimate relationships with members of the opposite sex only to break up when it doesn't go the way we wish, rather than waiting (WAITING?!) for God to bring the person we are meant to be with... we act as if God can do anything...except that. Let's be real, it's our impatience that gets the best of us. Do I expect people to agree with me? Not everyone, no. That's fine. As John Wesley/ George Whitefield came to the conclusion...let's agree to disagree. That's fine.
I think part of the trouble in marriages is we carry the baggage from past relationships into the marriage. Past hurts, thinking of your spouse's other girlfriend(s) all plays into how we act. Watching movies, vlogs, etc of seemingly perfect relationships doesn't help us either. Marriage is hard and messy. we start to compare ourselves and we get into trouble. We need to get our eyes off everyone else and just deal with our own selves.
We can't find happiness and joy in other people. we have to be happy and joyful with our own selves. Not conceitedly, but are you comfortable with who you are as a person, if not, you need to work on yourself before getting married. Do your own thing. Find things that you love to do and don't insist he does it, too. Let him be him and do guy stuff.
Never think that he knows, because while he may know you when you are upset, he may not realize what got you to that point. I had to laugh, because you sound like me and your husband sounds like my husband in areas. The difference between us is we are able to communicate easily about our faith.
Harboring feelings...forgiveness is so good! We need proper expectations for the relationship and a breakdown of communication and of revealing our expectations can lead to very bad anger towards one another. There are a few instances that I have had to work through and understand that the animosity that was felt was because of (gasp) me and not him. I didn't express that I expected things to go a certain way and when they didn't, I held it in and let it stew. Holding onto it (these are some pretty tough items, not things like I expected him to always take out the garbage and I had to type of things) only hurts me.
The whole appearance thing? YOU BET! I feel better when I take the time to get dressed and made up. I don't wear make up, but I always fix my hair etc) This attitude of wearing your jammies all day long is not helping us. I know there are days when you feel terrible, those are not what I'm meaning. Ladies, we have got to not be so lazy that we don't change outta our jammies to go to the store. Remember when we were embarrassed when it was spirit week and it was jammy day and that dread you had hoping that you didn't have the wrong day? What happened to that? Put your clothes on and deal with life. I feel better when I get myself dressed and deal with life head on.
I think as wives we should pray (rather than our husband's feel conviction about ___) we should pray that our husband's hearts be open to God's will...along with our own. I know, in our minds, we are pretty decent, and it's our husbands that need to____...praying that both of us be open to God's will... that deals better with both sides.
When it comes to communication I pray every day, EVERY SINGLE DAY, for Proverbs 15:1 to be my speech pattern. Yes, it helps. Praying the Bible will NEVER steer you wrong.
My opinion is that the kids taking precedence in life is a stage. As women, we just naturally put our all into them. Our husband's job is to provide, ours is to nurture. The issue is, yes, we also have to fight to gain a healthy marriage back. So many marriage have ended at this point (when kids leave) because people aren't in what they call love anymore. They want the empty nest to be like the newlywed stage, but it's not...neither should it be. You should be much more deeply involved with each other than the newlywed stage. I know this is hard. You both have been through the hardest part of your life and now all is relatively quiet. People say, don't make your kids the priority... that's nearly impossible. I think it's possible somehow, but I didn't get that memo. I'm in the my children are about to start leaving mode. My husband and I have started the reconnect phase.
One of the biggest areas that we fail is taking ownership of our actions. Rather than place blame elsewhere, we need to understand that while we can have perfect intentions, our actions can be less than stellar. Grace and mercy are necessary for ourselves, and if we enjoy the receiving of them, we should also enjoy giving them out. One of the best things that has helped me is when I ask God to show me what I am doing wrong. To give me the grace to stop and just listen to Him. We think we know so much, but we don't. Pray that and while you're praying for yourself to be made right, pray that you will be made right for your husband (not him to you.) Pray that you can be a servant. It has been amazing the change in my attitude since I have.
I for sure do not have all the answers. I fail each and every day. I am terrible at communication. If I could write everything it would be great, but my husband hates to read, so it would never work. We have had a bunch of hard things to deal with like we both have autoimmune diseases that hinder us and will only get worse. That's only one struggle. We all have them. Some hardships are really tough to work through, but we must try.
Not married not even engaged but this was so beautiful! Thank you for being so open ❤
You are so welcome! I’m glad you enjoyed it!
Realizing that you don’t have to like everything about each other to be happy in marriage is a huge realization. I love my husband but we are both imperfect and that is ok. We each need to be loving and encouraging and patient through each other’s struggles and growth.
Yes, I completely agree with you!
A lot of good info and good for thought Thankyou for doing this video. I have been married 38 years this year and I am still learning xx
You didn't come across preachy at all Becky, and I found this video to be very helpful. You certainly gave me a lot to think about. Thank you:)
I'm so glad! :) I'm glad you liked the video!
Love the second tip. There’s power in the pause.
For sure!
I needed to hear this today! Love the integrity of all your videos Becky ❤.
Thank you so much!
This is one of my favorite videos of yours and you know I've been watching for a while. I love the honesty. This summer we'll have been married 18 years.
Thank you...that means a lot! Happy Anniversary!
What a truly nice and uplifting video to watch.
I'm so glad you liked it! :)
Great video, really enjoyed it
Glad to hear it! Thanks for watching!
Love the tips! This has nothing to do with marriage but I wanted to Thank You for showing us BJU Press. We got it for 2022-23 for history and science and we love it. This year we are going to try the language arts from them.
That is awesome!
Did you use their science for high school? We’ve used english a few years and have been pleased.
Which company are you referring to?
@@aplacetonest this is weird. I replied on your BJU press short.
@@kedrewashington3203 Yes, that is weird! No, we didn't use BJU Press for high school. We used Apologia some of the time and she also did some dual credit classes for science.
Also, am I the only one struck by how crazy female writers are in the way they depict how men act in a relationship? We read these books (and watch these movies and TV shows) featuring men who magically dote on the woman and always say the perfect thing, and then we go into marriage expecting men will actually be like that! And they could not be more different!
Not all women are meant to be stay-at-home moms sometimes you have to have two incomes especially nowadays but I commend you I don't think I could homeschool my kids the public school works just fine for us
Yes, I completely understand that not all women can, or want, to stay home.
@@aplacetonest I’m one of the ones that wants to stay home, but can’t. I’m from Toronto Canada where the cost of living is astronomical (a basic home here starts at a million). It’s ridiculous.