“Emotional burn victims” is a phrase that I’ve come across, which I think aptly captures some of the emotional and relational reality of these young people. It’s interesting that Prof. Fonagy also describes their reality as akin to missing a “psychic skin” and having one’s nerves exposed. I can only imagine how overwhelming their turmoil feels & how difficult it is to develop a psychic skin when they re-experience their traumatic past over and over again.
"....they don't have the protection that thinking about other people in terms of mental states provides." The last sentence. So interesting. So the capacity to understand that other people's thoughts are simply thoughts, borne out of the capacity to understand that one's own thoughts are simply thoughts - that capacity functions as a mental and emotional safety and protection mechanism. This is, perhaps, the best argument for developing compassion I've ever heard. In developing/fostering compassion for others we increase and maintain our own mental health and well-being. Win win. For the narcissist or borderline, thoughts and feelings are conflated and both are conflated with fact. A narcissist I know has a very simplistic, almost child-like approach to care, compassion, attention etc. They say things like, "I paid you attention yesterday, so now it's your turn to pay me attention," like it's some transaction with a toy or a cake. This matter of mentalization is very helpful to my understanding, thank you.
I feel this way all the time and I’m not violent, though I have problems with being angry very often, and sometimes rage. It’s very painful and I would best be characterized as an “emotional burn victim.”
In my experience, Anger covers sadness, but rage comes up if the threat is perceived as life threatening, which can be all sorts of reasons. A psychopathic protector (fire fighter) self can come forward impulsively under rare conditions.
My personal experience is that dysfunctional families seems to constantly work up their feelings to be able to create an ego-destructive context. If people could keep their ego capacity and mentalize they would flee.
“Emotional burn victims” is a phrase that I’ve come across, which I think aptly captures some of the emotional and relational reality of these young people. It’s interesting that Prof. Fonagy also describes their reality as akin to missing a “psychic skin” and having one’s nerves exposed.
I can only imagine how overwhelming their turmoil feels & how difficult it is to develop a psychic skin when they re-experience their traumatic past over and over again.
"....they don't have the protection that thinking about other people in terms of mental states provides." The last sentence. So interesting. So the capacity to understand that other people's thoughts are simply thoughts, borne out of the capacity to understand that one's own thoughts are simply thoughts - that capacity functions as a mental and emotional safety and protection mechanism. This is, perhaps, the best argument for developing compassion I've ever heard. In developing/fostering compassion for others we increase and maintain our own mental health and well-being. Win win.
For the narcissist or borderline, thoughts and feelings are conflated and both are conflated with fact.
A narcissist I know has a very simplistic, almost child-like approach to care, compassion, attention etc. They say things like, "I paid you attention yesterday, so now it's your turn to pay me attention," like it's some transaction with a toy or a cake.
This matter of mentalization is very helpful to my understanding, thank you.
I feel this way all the time and I’m not violent, though I have problems with being angry very often, and sometimes rage. It’s very painful and I would best be characterized as an “emotional burn victim.”
Some people need you to not have that self protection. Parents and a world of vampires.
When a kiss is so cold that it blisters the cheek...
In my experience, Anger covers sadness, but rage comes up if the threat is perceived as life threatening, which can be all sorts of reasons. A psychopathic protector (fire fighter) self can come forward impulsively under rare conditions.
Dr, are you Hungarian?
Your English is excellent.
I did my medical school in PÉCS and graduated in1991 (in POTE).
Nice! I’m also a POTE student, graduating in 2 years. Greetings from lovely Pécs :)
Szoté 🇭🇺
My personal experience is that dysfunctional families seems to constantly work up their feelings to be able to create an ego-destructive context. If people could keep their ego capacity and mentalize they would flee.
11 months later I guess some families do so because there is a need to do so. Real or not real.
Nevermind you have a good childhood or bad infected violence and tears harry trotter
Poor audio.
Garbled.