When You Can't Let Go - The R Spot Episode 13

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  • čas přidán 31. 10. 2016
  • Iyanla Vanzant's - The R Spot - This is where Iyanla shares messages of stories and ideas to develop healthy relationships, and mend the ones that are broken. If you want to send Iyanla questions or share relationship issues; send correspondence to: www.iyanlas(DOT)fixins@gmail.com
    subscribe to: / iyanlava. .
    When You Can't Let Go

Komentáře • 1,1K

  • @roxannacoca1418
    @roxannacoca1418 Před 7 lety +276

    Good bye Toxic thoughts. I'm tired of making myself suffer. Thank you Iyanla!

    • @moneyvationreg6593
      @moneyvationreg6593 Před 4 lety +3

      Roxanna Coca amen

    • @hanamimi5300
      @hanamimi5300 Před 3 lety +2

      @Pablo me too

    • @hanamimi5300
      @hanamimi5300 Před 3 lety +2

      @Pablo thank you so much for your kind words! I’m glad you are doing better!😊

    • @staymotivated1233
      @staymotivated1233 Před 3 lety

      @Birdman Would you want to know how you can make $100 - $500 dollars a day its a very easy method online business you can do it from your phone or laptop
      All you have to do is call this number 551-299-8199
      After you reply to the message and say yes the system will ask for your name then right after text INFO . I’m here to help you through the process

    • @mars1783
      @mars1783 Před 3 lety +1

      Me too Girl!!!

  • @dwaynewayne7368
    @dwaynewayne7368 Před 7 lety +974

    I'm gonna have to fall asleep with this in my ears for the next few months because I'm currently going through a break up that didn't end bad but I know the person is not qualified to provide the love I deserve. Part of me want to wait around but that other half know I deserve more! Thanks for this message!!!

    • @nishas2745
      @nishas2745 Před 7 lety +21

      Dwayne Wayne Wow im going through the same thing.

    • @dwaynewayne7368
      @dwaynewayne7368 Před 7 lety +24

      Nisha Mcdowell I finally got my answer. Apparently she finally came out and told me last night via text 🙄. "I woke up today and felt weird. My mind has been on an adventure and my heart is closed". So I took it has I was just an "experience" for the moment and her actions matched how I felt deep inside that her heart was closed. So I have to move on and so could you!

    • @melissathomas-brown7495
      @melissathomas-brown7495 Před 7 lety +18

      Dwayne Wayne that's my thoughts on my relationship now. I haven't let go yet but its because I needed validation that I am worthy and I deserve so much more. Watching these episodes are enriching and enlightening. I have been working on loving myself and now I am strong enough to finally let go and let god guide my steps to a fulfilling relationship in time.

    • @melissathomas-brown7495
      @melissathomas-brown7495 Před 7 lety +3

      Dwayne Wayne that's my thoughts on my relationship now. I haven't let go yet but its because I needed validation that I am worthy and I deserve so much more. Watching these episodes are enriching and enlightening. I have been working on loving myself and now I am strong enough to finally let go and let god guide my steps to a fulfilling relationship in time.

    • @melissathomas-brown7495
      @melissathomas-brown7495 Před 7 lety

      Dwayne Wayne that's my thoughts on my relationship now. I haven't let go yet but its because I needed validation that I am worthy and I deserve so much more. Watching these episodes are enriching and enlightening. I have been working on loving myself and now I am strong enough to finally let go and let god guide my steps to a fulfilling relationship in time.

  • @GantryJSmith
    @GantryJSmith Před 6 lety +49

    She said it, "Love is a function of the soul, not a person".....bingo!

  • @monalisasmiles1978
    @monalisasmiles1978 Před 7 lety +350

    This darn woman is so close to perfect it's ridiculous. She's healing my life and she don't even know it.

  • @DiogoF.
    @DiogoF. Před 7 lety +389

    Iyanla you are helping a lot of people around the world; you cannot even imagine. 'You are the Love You Give'. Thank you.

    • @safd4933
      @safd4933 Před 7 lety +2

      DD @@¥+SD#if koi I did if fund if dodu de seidlifkskcjdkodlfd

  • @ParisPR20
    @ParisPR20 Před 4 lety +40

    This needs to be on repeat when dealing with a break up.

  • @maureenantonette
    @maureenantonette Před 4 lety +95

    It's so hard to let go when you are stuck in between waiting and forgetting.😔

    • @latanyakitchenscreations6222
      @latanyakitchenscreations6222 Před 3 lety +13

      Let me tell you something you know that it's over when you feel that the person you want so bad wouldn't give a damn if you walked out of their life or not

    • @oceejay5148
      @oceejay5148 Před 3 lety +4

      @@latanyakitchenscreations6222 so trueeee 😭😭😭😭😭. He blocked me everywhere and I feel like hell. Thank you so much

    • @ladyclarke9903
      @ladyclarke9903 Před 3 lety +2

      @@oceejay5148 Stay encouraged!

    • @santi7470
      @santi7470 Před 5 dny

      Amen. I'm there right now. Been there for a while 😢 and it's really hell

  • @sabrina.natalie
    @sabrina.natalie Před 7 lety +358

    She spoke directly into my soul.

  • @johnnyarellano7653
    @johnnyarellano7653 Před 7 lety +150

    "once your grateful for what you have, you'll get more of that"

  • @belensm6817
    @belensm6817 Před 7 lety +162

    "the truth is, people come into our lives to teach us the depth of our own capacity to love." This line, and the rest of Iyanla's message has caused a huge shift my perception of relationships; a very timely one. Thank you!

    • @sshuteandrew
      @sshuteandrew Před 5 lety +2

      belen sm Yes!! I loved this line too!! 💗💗

    • @ttango2653
      @ttango2653 Před 2 lety

      @@sshuteandrew me too Summer!

  • @Msjuju20131
    @Msjuju20131 Před 4 lety +7

    I have panic attacks daily because I cant let go of my husband of 10 years who left me for a very pretty lady . Its been 3 weeks now.He also sent me pics of them kissing and other pics. That tramatized me and I think about those pics night and day. Im miserable. He was my rock when my Mom passesd and I am so dependent on his love for me when my family all clown me. I an willing to move on . Im 57 and scared of dying alone. But dont know how. Im gonna listen to this message every day til it sinks in my big head. Thanks for this message.

    • @candicehudson1054
      @candicehudson1054 Před 4 lety +1

      🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽 sending you healing vibes

    • @Msjuju20131
      @Msjuju20131 Před 4 lety +2

      @@candicehudson1054 thank you. I can say now rhat it did get better a tad. I still have alot of work to do on myself but ill get there.thanks again. That was nice of you.

    • @KOLAkola
      @KOLAkola Před 4 lety

      JuJuBeans guuurl u Need a long vacation

    • @ST-yc7uj
      @ST-yc7uj Před 4 lety

      57?
      How old is he?
      How old is the younger woman?
      Oh,he's gonna come back soon,I believe.
      Midlife crisis in men, you ever heard about that?
      I know a couple of men and women running away with younger lovers and coming back very soon.
      Satisfying sexual needs is usually never stronger than the bond of a married life.
      The fact that he sent you the pics,well..he wanted to make sure you leave him alone...not understanding how dumb that is.
      If you ask me, you should take a vacation and spoil yourself rotten.

    • @svwhett1
      @svwhett1 Před 3 lety +2

      I would block the photos

  • @meishikiapringle8130
    @meishikiapringle8130 Před 3 lety +2

    This is STRONG, 'As human being we believe that people come in our lives not to give us love, but the truth is, people come in our lived to teach us the depth of our own capacity to love.'

  • @bcvc3365
    @bcvc3365 Před 7 lety +48

    "you are the Love you want, the Love you give, and the Love you seek"...AMEN 💜

  • @skyepalmer5719
    @skyepalmer5719 Před 2 lety +10

    I’m going to listen to this every morning, what a great teaching to start the day.

  • @lakicia30
    @lakicia30 Před 7 lety +53

    powerful as usual. So often we're taught that you're not a complete person unless you're with someone else. "This is my other half", "You complete me", "I'm nothing without you". love songs are a big culprit of this. And that's the reason it's so hard to let go when the relationship ends. because who are you without this person or a replacement in your life? External love is a beautiful thing but it should never be used to replace what we should already be able to provide ourselves. Everything we need is already within us.

    • @xw6475
      @xw6475 Před 4 lety +1

      Beautifully said Lakicia 💚💚 Exactly, we are whole and we have everything we need, Within us❣️

    • @berniceopare9405
      @berniceopare9405 Před 2 lety +2

      Well said!

  • @Shanty2460
    @Shanty2460 Před 6 lety +17

    I was a few seconds away from calling someone, I would have made a fool of myself. I am glad I found you. Thank you!! God bless you.

  • @kiamclean8590
    @kiamclean8590 Před 7 lety +47

    She is an earth angel

  • @marsharowaihy6725
    @marsharowaihy6725 Před 3 lety +3

    I wish they had video’s like this when I was growing up, the stuff my generation didn’t have knowledge of, just left with feelings instead of education that we are getting in this video

    • @MelanatedGoddess09
      @MelanatedGoddess09 Před 3 lety

      If you’re 45 or older, I agree. My Mom is 50 and she didn’t have the proper tools to have healthy relationships. Including with her children. I am 29 and feel like my generation has the tools. We just have to allow our soul and heart to be open. After constant trauma from parents,childhood,teenage years, and as an adult, it gets hard to be vulnerable.

  • @lynlysun
    @lynlysun Před 6 lety +56

    "What you experience as love, is the love that I am".
    He let me go, this is third time. Claims to battle depression but he is only depressed with me and no one else around him. He is rational and together at work, with friends and with family. I gave him unconditional love, he had my full attention, heart and understanding. But he gave up on us. The experience of love I had with him is not the love that I am because I don't deserve false hopes and promises.

    • @sshuteandrew
      @sshuteandrew Před 5 lety +5

      Carol Lynly Sun My ex shut down and broke up with me also- he’s very depressed, hopeless- rarely leaves his house except to go to work or be with his kids. The depression is so hard to deal with and he won’t get help. He’ll now only see me physically- I know I need to let go. He doesn’t mean to hurt me but he feels incapable and unable to trust- I don’t know how to reach him. Hope you’re well 💗

    • @latanyakitchenscreations6222
      @latanyakitchenscreations6222 Před 3 lety +4

      PREACH you don't need to be with someone you can't entrust your heart too

  • @divarose2017
    @divarose2017 Před 4 lety +6

    Omg, when my mind was running with thoughts of him I would yell out "STOP" so I'm glad I was not losing my mind by saying that lol

  • @africanfufu
    @africanfufu Před 5 lety +39

    Easier said than done... but I CAN DO THIS!! My mind has let me down !! My love failed me!! I am moving on 06/25/2019

  • @fayetaylor1998
    @fayetaylor1998 Před 7 lety +41

    If there was ever a message that hit home, this one is it. I don't know how to thank this women for all that her words have given me. I'm so thankful that God is using this exceptional woman as a vessel. Thank you Jesus...

    • @kaymoye
      @kaymoye Před 6 lety +1

      Amen!!

    • @tjr7162
      @tjr7162 Před 2 lety +2

      Amen to this! Hearing it tonight for the first time, but right on time!! I am so thankful to God for using Ms. Iyanla, just when I needed this most!,

  • @walkerj4509
    @walkerj4509 Před 7 lety +36

    This message got to me so heavy bc I'm going through this now.

  • @dovetales3
    @dovetales3 Před 7 lety +96

    I have never felt this good about letting go...Thank you Iyanla - Love you

    • @ysooyaalka6172
      @ysooyaalka6172 Před 6 lety +1

      Vera M

    • @kikinyte6806
      @kikinyte6806 Před 4 lety +1

      @VERA M....LETTING GO HAS BEEN THE BEST THING I HAVE DONE. I WAS HOLDING ON STAYED STUCK FOR 3 YEARS.....3 YEARS
      My rock Bottom Began in October 2016 and lasted 3 years and when i said ENOUGH you will not go into 2020 carrying this broken Energy...LET GO LET GO LET GO . Iyanla drops nothing but total gems....But honestly, CZcams cured my depression and inspired me to start my own channel. It was a risk I was willing to take and I decided why not begin with documenting moving out of my Depression to Self Love stage.....and Boom I just took the leap. I am not fussed about being popular, I think its my message which is important.....but if the channel can flourish and grow then that's a BONUS!!!!.
      I CANNOT WAIT TO GET BACK TO MYSELF AND NORMAL ROUTINES AGAIN BUT IN THE MEANTIME AND WHATS HELPING ME REFICUS AND HEAL IS MY YT CHANNEL.
      I created a CZcams Channel Documenting my Self Love Journey 2020 & Would Love For You All To See and Support My Channel. Check it Out >>>> czcams.com/channels/64VqNHt4-TG7R-To31cFAg.html. I hope You Like It : ) and it inspires you to just TAKE THE LEAP....Do it for Yourself not for anyone else and enjoy the process. Its tough but worth it.....and as we stuck in doors we might as well kill sometime and get creative. Have a blessed Weekend xo

    • @dovetales3
      @dovetales3 Před 4 lety

      KiKi Nyte I am subscribed! All the way up!

  • @lashawnward340
    @lashawnward340 Před 7 lety +48

    Its was the worst, lol.. He still wanted me and them to.. Was Hard to let go and walk away.. Thank you Jesus I did, prayed to break the Bond/need to have him in my life.. Was like the worst craving for Sweet Potato pie ever.. Eating cake now, lol..😊😊😊

  • @drecarcutz8405
    @drecarcutz8405 Před 7 lety +82

    as a man, I would never share my personal issues and problems with a complete stranger, absolutely no trust, however, she gives me a feeling of comfort as if I can trust her. if I were able to sit down with this lady, I would open all the way up and let her pour her wisdom and understanding into my empty cup. I married a woman that has gotten progressively worse over these past 7 years, and I hate marriage now. be sure to take y'alls time and really investigate who you're planning to spend your life with, don't move quick because people can hide their true selves and the next thing you know is you're 4 or 5 years in and you're finding things out about your partner that you totally hate.

    • @debrax4711
      @debrax4711 Před 6 lety +7

      Deandre I applaud you for taking this step to express how you truly feel. Most men have a hard time getting to this point. I am praying for you and your wife and any grace that God can interject into your marriage to heal it.

    • @Shamz2541
      @Shamz2541 Před 5 lety +2

      I agree. I'm dealing with this now. The person I thought they were turned into someone totally different but my love never changed. I have to understand that I do deserve the love I gave and I have to dismiss all actions by this person and take back my life.

    • @cbcbmail1125
      @cbcbmail1125 Před 5 lety

      I also applaud you expressing yourself and I think you should try and talk to someone, consistently, before giving up. People are products of how they were/ werent raised but they have to actually want to better themselves .. I will pray for you and your family.

  • @justme7520
    @justme7520 Před 5 lety +19

    I knew a man for 17 years was with him 10 . This Sept was a 1 year ago he dumped me and moved on with someone else right away which he is still with her .I feel like if I never existed in his life at all he totally forgot all about me and it hurts not once did he try to come back or make contact. I was gone in his mind after so many years together. It has been so very hard for me to move forward. I try everyday to go forward and I have some really good days and then I have bad days . I hate this feeling. Thank you for your video.

    • @jueileeneileen4808
      @jueileeneileen4808 Před 5 lety +9

      OMG I am going through this now..8 years of trying to make it work with a habitual liar and cheater..then when all of the women couldn’t do it for him I found out he turned to drugs..then left me for some woman who knew all about us.. I suppose he had been dealing with her on the side a few years before he decided to leave me..what hurts is I tried EVERYTHING to make it work and nothing I did was enough..when I tried to get him to be honest about his feelings he lied to the very end..and left me for her anyway..no apology no nothing..8 years and not so much as the truth or an apology..hurt isn’t the word to describe this pain..I’m traumatized and currently seeing a therapist..I allowed him to put me through so much mental emotional and even physical abuse..one thing I can say is the situation has made me look at myself really hard and I’m working on my healing..but healing hurts😢 and it doesn’t happen overnight..I feel like I lost myself and I don’t how to find me..I can’t believe I allowed this

    • @sunshynew6854
      @sunshynew6854 Před 4 lety +1

      @@jueileeneileen4808 you're not alone. The exact same thing happened to me. I'm praying you & I both find ourselves & learn to love ourselves before we love anyone else. You matter & don't let nobody tell you anything different.

    • @MsHarmony-qd7mx
      @MsHarmony-qd7mx Před 4 lety +2

      @@sunshynew6854 I am going thru a similar situation and I definitely need to be reminded of learning to love myself first. Very important!

    • @anyarey72
      @anyarey72 Před 4 lety

      Look up narcissistic abuse and new supply

    • @cathymcdonaldfemale820
      @cathymcdonaldfemale820 Před 3 lety

      I was with the narc for 13 years, known him for 10 years bfore that. I feel the same way you do .to get me thru this , i tell myself, someday he will die. He already in his 60s. It helps me .😔😔😔😔

  • @fishygal53
    @fishygal53 Před 5 lety +7

    You are whole and complete within yourself. train your mind to focus on you. Anytime you have the sad feeling, missing, wanting thing comes up.. take a breath and change the thought. Be mindful not to entertain any toxic thoughts..that will lead you down self destruction. Tell yourself no, I'm choosing to let go. Be grateful for the time you had. Shift those memories of what you no longer have into state of gratitude. Don't deny the feelings that you still want that person but have boundaries of what you will and will not do or think. Don't allow it to control you.

  • @multifariousgemini
    @multifariousgemini Před 5 lety +5

    New way to talk to myself when I think of him who is not willing commit but still wants to talk "I know you want that but it's just not good for you"
    Thank you Iyanla

    • @tjr7162
      @tjr7162 Před 2 lety

      I’m almost there, but not quite, and will listen to this every day until I get where I need to be. Thank you Lord, for allowing me to come across this message, just when I need it most. Grateful!!

  • @lealeahazel8093
    @lealeahazel8093 Před 6 lety +18

    Sometimes ladies we think we're in LOVE until that person shows us WHO they R...if they can walk it was never LOVE.. I think wen we come to that conclusion i think it will b even easier to let it GO and forgive that person that did leave u broken hearted...and rejoice in this journey that your heavely father leading u on...SMH trust me easy for me to say cus battling THIS now but the more i dont look bac the more I'm finding self on jus letting GO and getting self prepared for the LOVE that is for me...not sally not baby moma not becky NOT no 1 loves but the 1 of my own wit my name on IT....Yesss

  • @Kiwiwanderer
    @Kiwiwanderer Před 3 lety +1

    This. Woman. Is . Brilliant.

  • @Engji
    @Engji Před 3 lety +14

    This woman is a gift! Thank you for teaching me to change my thought pattern. Thank you for being a self love role model! Thank you for teaching me to put myself first. I have just recently discovered the concept of self love, and I won’t stop until I fully embrace this beautiful gift.

  • @yellowsun.1776
    @yellowsun.1776 Před 7 lety +78

    Ok, I don't care if I sound like a creep. Iyanla I love ya woman👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿

  • @gorjis1
    @gorjis1 Před 7 lety +29

    Got Issues? Call Miss Iyanla! Thanks for your wisdom and insight!

  • @cherryblossom9226
    @cherryblossom9226 Před 7 lety +45

    three months of bliss ended so quickly....thank you...i will let go

    • @trfrierson
      @trfrierson Před 7 lety +2

      Tj Johnson same here. Move up and on!!!

    • @watuw5481
      @watuw5481 Před 7 lety +1

      Tj Johnson same with me too...great 3 months ended and i didnt see it coming

    • @trfrierson
      @trfrierson Před 7 lety +1

      OhItsMarissa2010 you miss the experience. in three months depending on how much time you are spending with a person, you get a good glimpse of who they are. you will get over it but its nonetheless dissappointing.

    • @watuw5481
      @watuw5481 Před 7 lety +1

      I guess its each to their own and how you connect with a person....chemistry/vibe.

    • @trfrierson
      @trfrierson Před 7 lety +4

      You knew you disagreed when you initially posted. So its okay for you to believe what you want. However, it depends on the intentions of each individual involved. If you have two intentional individuals then three months is feasible. However, if one person is not intentional, that is around the time you will notice the change in a person because they cant keep it up. You are focusing on one circumstance that one of the individuals has different intentions and is not genuine. Not considering that it is possible that two individuals that are genuine and intentional about a relationship can determine where the relationship is going by 90 days. .

  • @klee8863
    @klee8863 Před 7 lety +123

    I may need to listen to this daily. Thanks Iyanla

  • @luluhen72
    @luluhen72 Před 5 lety +9

    I love "Dont deny my feelings for the person"...But I Need Boundaries while I heal & Let Go!! Thank u....my angel...❤

  • @QueenJessina
    @QueenJessina Před 7 lety +57

    It's been 3 years...I needed this. Thank you !!!!!!!!

    • @brickhardwood4428
      @brickhardwood4428 Před 6 lety +3

      6 for me

    • @fabio6466
      @fabio6466 Před 5 lety +1

      J. Andrades I feel you

    • @Msjuju20131
      @Msjuju20131 Před 4 lety +2

      My husband just left 3 weeks ago and its just started for me.

    • @MsHarmony-qd7mx
      @MsHarmony-qd7mx Před 4 lety

      4 years for me and it's still a struggle sometimes. I needed this as well.

    • @renukakaul1072
      @renukakaul1072 Před 4 lety +1

      13 months for me can't let go of all the sweet lies that I believed. It hurts alot.

  • @sandrarosales9754
    @sandrarosales9754 Před 4 lety +1

    Saw this video 2 years ago after my first heartbreak and now here I am again .

  • @dennisvega4945
    @dennisvega4945 Před 7 lety +31

    Boy, I wish I could have a sit down 1 on 1 with you...

  • @RacheFdez
    @RacheFdez Před 4 lety +11

    Damn im obsessed with this woman shes so smart since i found her im learning how to love myself! I cant even explain how i feel when i hear her

  • @Engji
    @Engji Před 3 lety +1

    "We think that other people come into our lives to give us love. That is not true. They come into our life to teach us the capacity of our own love. When we're in a relationship we think it's about them, but the reality is that loving somebody is about you and your capacity to be open, vulnerable, available, accessible to your own beloved. The challenge is: we focus on them externally because we do not recognize and realize that love is a function of the soul not a person. To give credit where credit is due: that person, the focus of your yearning awakenes something within you (keyword: within you). The love that you were giving and receiving is the love that you are! It was your love that made you feel fulfilled. You just had somewhere to focus it... for a little while. It was giving your love that was satisfying. It was the opening of your heart that gave you the feeling of joy. The other person was simply the focus of your attention at the time. Remember: a reason or a reason. Why you can't let go of that person is because we were taught to believe that we need someone else to focus on to experience love. Now that's one way. It's a good way. It's a feel good way, but not the only way. Once you understand that the person you are focused on has simply opened your heart to express love you can reclaim your capacity to love and focus it elsewhere, on yourself or someone else. Holding on to a broken, failed or completed relationship is a tool of the negative ego. The negative ego is the aspect of mind that reinforces dominant negative thought patterns things like I'm not good enough, things like I'll never have what I want or nothing ever works out for me and the big one: I need someone to make me special, to make me feel good to make me whole. Lies nothing but lies. You are whole and complete within yourself, you are loved and you can experience love from the inside out."

  • @daysworld1
    @daysworld1 Před 7 lety +3

    I'm crying, I told him I loved him. You are right I have to focus on me. Thank you!!!

  • @Thewayoulike
    @Thewayoulike Před 4 lety +6

    I waited for 8 months of just having hope that one day he will come back . We were sharing our location, but then I thought for a second that why am I hurting my self in this way. I just feel that I haven't moved on not because of him but because I am not giving my self the opportunity to move. Holding on to him for 8 months my old self will be saying crazy things about my behavior.I believe that is time to just live,enjoy & repeat.

  • @ayodejiboyede4594
    @ayodejiboyede4594 Před 7 lety +13

    How she can bring out things in the subconscious mind one never knows exist n it's really effective for healing...just love you Iyanla!!

  • @geraldbrown7385
    @geraldbrown7385 Před 3 lety +1

    OMG....this message is what i asked God for. I got do this.

  • @hugbear27
    @hugbear27 Před 7 lety +41

    11 weeks of break up hell, I was meant to watch this video I feel so relieved already thank you xx

  • @NicoleReloaded
    @NicoleReloaded Před 7 lety +23

    Binge watching ,receiving knowledge into my spirit ,my mind ,heart and soul. God bless u 🙄

    • @melissathomas-brown7495
      @melissathomas-brown7495 Před 7 lety +2

      Nicole Reloaded I am doing the same thing. I need to internalize all of thisk

    • @kaymoye
      @kaymoye Před 6 lety +1

      She has that affect!!

  • @chiefredbottom
    @chiefredbottom Před 4 lety +2

    I started to cry really hard listening to this , because for the last 14 months, I have been feeling this pain inside, and when I try to let go, stupid little things trigger the pain back. I finally have hope that I can get over this. Thank you.

  • @surdogal
    @surdogal Před 4 lety +2

    I got sucked back in to those unhealthy thoughts - Coronavirus lockdown not helping. I listened again and it was even better the second time around. Thank you - my light in this dark time. I am truly grateful 💜

  • @victoriac.8137
    @victoriac.8137 Před 7 lety +20

    Iyanla just said THE TRUTH !!!
    BEAUTIFUL MESSAGE!
    BANG !!!
    THANK YOU MAMMASS😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

  • @leilani3070
    @leilani3070 Před 7 lety +33

    Thank you iyanla, you look beautiful!

  • @marchgirl0719
    @marchgirl0719 Před 2 lety

    Left a on & off 8 year relationship finally realized I needed more than dealing with manipulation , accusing for no reason, controlling. & a narcissist .. learning me again & making sure I’m whole and ready to let go of the missing of being together

  • @africanfufu
    @africanfufu Před 5 lety +2

    Let go of the mind , heart and soul ... whew I’m learning a lot today

  • @carmendelacruz4947
    @carmendelacruz4947 Před 7 lety +40

    Truly feel like she's speaking to me. Thank You 💖

  • @jovictor
    @jovictor Před 3 lety +3

    Thank you so much for this, I am having a struggling relationship with breakup make up patern. And huge issues. I can't stop needing the attention.

  • @CreepyRecordings
    @CreepyRecordings Před 2 lety +1

    I reached a point where not only can I move on, but transform the heartache into empathy and actually friend the people two don't love me back without having to completely end it with them. so I gained self love + friends. it made me happier... because at the end of the day the other person is only a lost human being.. we all are..

  • @1ladyKaryl
    @1ladyKaryl Před 3 lety +1

    As a teenager I found a book written by you that helped me. I'm in my fifties and you're still speaking I to my life. You are truly called to what you do and have done. Please don't stop. I can't imagine those who need your gift that will be cut off if you stopped

  • @LRamey
    @LRamey Před 5 lety +6

    Ms. Iyanla you are helping somebody today!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #POWERFUL!

  • @gracieramos4357
    @gracieramos4357 Před 7 lety +25

    I need to let go of a 5 year relationship to a alcoholic he's a great guy but alcohol takes over him I love him it's hard

    • @danilaroche1156
      @danilaroche1156 Před 2 měsíci

      Dismantle soul tie. Jesus will help you. I was with an alcoholic 5 years. He died young from it.

  • @vicmarshall4524
    @vicmarshall4524 Před 5 lety

    I felt the need to leave this comment. A lot of people are going through hurt and heartbreak💔 I just want to encourage everyone to stay motivated about their life and not resort to violence or hurting another person because they walked away or cheated or whatever the situation is. Take it to God and leave it there🙏

  • @LoveWins73
    @LoveWins73 Před 5 lety

    I simply love this woman. I love her rawness and the fact she isn’t afraid to call a thing a thing. As women we need to take the love we give to a man and give it to ourselves first. I lost my self trying to take care of my ex’s emotional needs. While I was out left drowning in my sorrow and pain. I looked to him to fill my gaps of brokenness, not realizing at the time, he was just as broken as I was. Some men can smell our brokenness miles before we see them coming... some men will prey on that to get what they want. Going to counseling was the best gift I gave myself. Love starts within ourselves, it’s ok to press the reset button to realign our selves to our values and what we are seeking. I realized my brokenness was attracting broken men. To God be the Glory for self awareness. Be blessed and stand in your truth.. if you don’t like your truth, we have the power to change it... one day at a time. Ladies, we have to stick together in love and peace.. we all can learn from each other. Be blessed. ❤️😊

  • @skw713
    @skw713 Před 4 lety +3

    You like the mother I always needed, everytime you speak it penetrates straight to heart & soul! God bless you Iyanla 🙏🏾❤

  • @nathalieduverna6963
    @nathalieduverna6963 Před 5 lety +4

    This was extremely healing and greatly needed. I am finding that I love myself and forgot about me in the last 9 years of trying to be his everything.

  • @jizzywizzy8701
    @jizzywizzy8701 Před 6 měsíci

    Tears Re rolling down my face becasue this spoke to ny soul. 4 years later he's also married and not a day goes by that he isnt on my mind. I need to let gooooo

  • @user-yc7dd6qx8w
    @user-yc7dd6qx8w Před 11 měsíci

    I love this episode sm I think I discovered it about 3 year back. Everytime I tuned in I felt relief. My only issue is that every year throughout the 3 years I never got to heal. I'd listen, listen, listen then forget as I'd get fogged with another situationship. I noticed a cycle. I'm back here again as I am a catchist of feelings with a tender heart that always gets left. This year is it!!! As much as I love listening to this teaching I have to say it's the last time I'm listening to it because I'm choosing me now. Thank you mama Iyanla 💚

  • @2401beautty
    @2401beautty Před 5 lety +3

    Am gonna need to listen to this daily, hourly etc. Omg, she hit the nail on the head.

  • @Greendiamondshe76
    @Greendiamondshe76 Před 6 lety +3

    6:35 so powerful I felt this ...It was my love the whole time...Wow! Thank you

  • @tjr7162
    @tjr7162 Před 2 lety +1

    Ms. Iyanla, It was not by chance that I came across this message tonight, just when I need it most. I am so grateful to know what is within me! If I can care, share, and love so much through hurt, pain, and embarrassment for the one who isn’t good for me - I am suddenly so excited for the abundance of love that I know is within ME to share when it IS right for me!! I thank the Lord for how He is using you. I am across the seas and we will likely never meet in person, but I love the person that you are, and pray that you will continue to let God use you. 🙏🏽❤️

    • @kategray6335
      @kategray6335 Před 2 lety

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    • @kategray6335
      @kategray6335 Před 2 lety

      ✝2348101842226⏯⏯⏯⏯⏯⏯⏯????????????

  • @keithshurey8202
    @keithshurey8202 Před 2 lety

    Brilliant. Clear, concise, compassionate. I get it completely. It’s a map to get out of the swamp, doesn’t mean the journey will always be easy, but if you keep referring to the map, before you know it you’ll be enjoying the sunny slopes and sweet air of the mountain.

  • @NiiRose
    @NiiRose Před 7 lety +4

    this is so deep. I'm in tears

  • @hsa5089
    @hsa5089 Před 7 lety +12

    Thank you Iyanla, I love how you come from a place of healing and reconstructing a broken heart and not a negative place. I believe healing, opening your heart and being vulnerable is always possible after a heart break no matter how hard or impossible it may seem :)

  • @zebrasharq
    @zebrasharq Před 3 lety +1

    Lyanla you are an amazing teacher. I'm still struggling for more than a year to let go of my best friend and lover of 13 years. It was a hard break. I still have good days and bad days. As such, your videos are nothing less than a miracle to me. They teach me how to live a better life. They teach me how to love and respect myself better. They teach me things about healthy relationships. You are obviously a wise and talented woman. Thank you for what you do.

  • @lorihykaway2126
    @lorihykaway2126 Před 4 lety +1

    After suffering for almost 5 months in what has felt like soul shattering pain...I literally felt something within me shift as I listened to this. Thank-you Iyanjla 🙏🙏🙏

  • @elizamasilva502
    @elizamasilva502 Před 4 lety +4

    This was one of the most loving advices I'ver ever seen. It hasn't got a price. Thank you.

  • @meenaksig9971
    @meenaksig9971 Před 7 lety +16

    I don't think it was about that other person. I was able to love someone unconditionally, being vulnerable, opened my heart and i felt high while taking care of him but i am scared now because i know i will never be able to give that much again.

    • @sshuteandrew
      @sshuteandrew Před 5 lety +1

      meenaksi g Yes, you can. We both can and we will!! Hugs

  • @edithkateregga6177
    @edithkateregga6177 Před rokem +1

    Listening to this message is helping me out coz my boyfriend left me without saying anything but since I keep telling myself I can do better

  • @danas3976
    @danas3976 Před 2 lety +1

    I have been searching CZcams videos for the last six months trying to find something that speaks to me and my situation. Somehow I stumbled upon this one and man this resonates. I have watched it several times already and I really appreciate the message. Especially the last part. I have not done well with letting the self-respecting part of me take over. I realize I’m very late to this party but I am so happy that this video is still available to be seen.

    • @kategray6335
      @kategray6335 Před 2 lety

      Hello I recommend you to this man named Dr AKHIMIEN, Am happy I was recommended to him, he actually helped me get my lover back he can help you with that to⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇

    • @kategray6335
      @kategray6335 Před 2 lety

      ✝2348101842226⏯⏯⏯⏯⏯⏯⏯⏯???????

  • @amarte522
    @amarte522 Před 7 lety +37

    I needed to hear this... Thank you!

    • @WonLotto100M
      @WonLotto100M Před 7 lety +12

      amarte522 I needed to hear this 3-4 years ago when I was an emotional wreck at the end of my baby mama-daddy relationship. The best advice she gave was acknowledge/allow that part of you that wants them back but let the rational part dominate. Priceless. I'm forwarding this to all my broken-hearted friends...... lots of them. Thanks Iyanla. You're the best!

    • @louiseottley4566
      @louiseottley4566 Před 7 lety +1

      Lone Wolf when u want them back think of all the hurt lol and that will make u let go faster lol cant provide but alwats want me to compromise for him but dont want to for me keep walking

  • @Shesirie
    @Shesirie Před 7 lety +5

    If you haven't heard it today. Thank you. I needed this

  • @thatgworl2504
    @thatgworl2504 Před 6 lety +2

    I remember when I first watched his video, I broke down but I finally watch this video in its entirety without crying. Thank you Iyanla. 😊

  • @thedreamer6359
    @thedreamer6359 Před 2 lety +1

    I am love and I am experiencing love within me. Thank you 😊

  • @elizabethanderson5421
    @elizabethanderson5421 Před 7 lety +31

    I crack up when people are hyper critical if you don't like the message move on.

  • @mgmgm9458
    @mgmgm9458 Před 7 lety +9

    Literally you saved my life!!!!

  • @makaylabanton1521
    @makaylabanton1521 Před 6 lety +1

    Omg she opened my eyes. I never cry, but she spoke the truth and had me shedding a river.

  • @MICKY19871988
    @MICKY19871988 Před 7 lety +2

    This has been a fighting struggle for me, out of a 13 year relationship ( I'm 29 ) we were middle school love heart. She grew and i grew different from each other. We built a family and all. It I just can't let go until this... I love this lady and her wisdom.. thank you 😍

  • @naturallydope6971
    @naturallydope6971 Před 7 lety +17

    Thank you thank you so much I really needed this message.

  • @MsOba11
    @MsOba11 Před 7 lety +6

    Iyanla never disappoints!! Beautiful message 💛

  • @meethameetha2051
    @meethameetha2051 Před 6 lety +2

    I can't thank you enough for this video I feel amazing and I will tell YOU I'm the weakest and most broken I've ever been and this made a difference. God bless you thank you so much

  • @cbcbmail1125
    @cbcbmail1125 Před 5 lety +1

    " Take a nap!!" Lol
    This woman, I love!!

  • @NeleKirsipuu
    @NeleKirsipuu Před 7 lety +25

    Thank you

  • @kimy7224
    @kimy7224 Před 7 lety +13

    Hi Iyanla.. I've never been better since the breakup, i believe these videos helped me a lot. Cried all throughout the video the first time I watched it. You are a blessing!

    • @kaymoye
      @kaymoye Před 6 lety

      This is Beautiful!! Thats right mama!! #TeamUnbroken

  • @Lily-kh8dc
    @Lily-kh8dc Před 2 měsíci

    Queen Iyanla👸🏽 Thank you for all you do and for coaching me through life over the years❤️ Your legacy will live on forever. Such a gem

  • @BigL88
    @BigL88 Před 3 měsíci

    I come back here often. Thank You.

  • @castielfever
    @castielfever Před 7 lety +43

    I need to be honest with myself. Im stuck since 4 years.. It seems like I cant let go..

    • @islandbeach88rich69
      @islandbeach88rich69 Před 7 lety +12

      I've been stuck longer. It was so unexpected. God is love and He wouldn't want you continuing in anything that brings you pain.

    • @lalamesing
      @lalamesing Před 7 lety +7

      Castiel Black it hurts and it's draining. I'm in that place now and to let go appears to be very scary. we can definitely train our minds. I'm a mental health therapist and what lyanla says it's true. I believe that time and effort are the only things that are going to make it better. so what are we going to do during this time of transition? think of how beautiful we are. think about what type of relationship we're going to be blessed with once we're free of the "stuck" feeling. envision being happy with and by ourselves. we have friends, family and US who love us. we can do it. we have to get rid of the thoughts that cause us to feel the pain and relive the pain. you got this because you're worth it!

    • @lashawnward340
      @lashawnward340 Před 7 lety +3

      +Mary J'Nell You can do it.. Once you let go of Hope that things will get better, along with a lot of prayer or whatever keeps yourself super busy.. Time heals, Be Blessed !

    • @andreahollins3310
      @andreahollins3310 Před 7 lety +1

      what are some tips we can use to train our mind to let go...to move on? how do i process the pain and accept the process?

    • @mangosify
      @mangosify Před 7 lety

      Castiel Black

  • @dianam9722
    @dianam9722 Před 7 lety +6

    Wow, truly inspiring. One of the most profound and powerful videos I've seen from Iyanla!🙏💖

  • @rachiehopeheartsentwined210

    I have held on because i thought i was too expectant,or too demanding.Many times i have been told the kind of relationship i want does not exist in this world.Which made me settle for less,accepted being undermined,illtreatment,and i lost self esteem on the way.I just held on knowing very well this is not how i want to be loved,scared to be lonely!!!

  • @machelyflores5585
    @machelyflores5585 Před 4 lety +1

    "Lies! Nothing but lies!"
    I love you!!!!

  • @mariapapadimitriou2528
    @mariapapadimitriou2528 Před 7 lety +4

    BLESS you Iyanla :-) thank you so much for this and your unique way of offering soothing balm (and empowerment) to the soul. I never comment on youtube, but I had to offer my gratitude to you here... and all the shared humanity in the comments to this....gosh... xxx

  • @madelinehall8944
    @madelinehall8944 Před 7 lety +17

    Why is it the person that left the relationship by cheating, or disrespecting the relationship, the ones that can't move on? They convince themselves that they should be forgiven and given another chance. They continue to contact the person that has asked them to leave them alone.

    • @MelanatedGoddess09
      @MelanatedGoddess09 Před 3 lety

      Guilt,selfishness,toxic co-dependency,regrets,fear, and realized it all when it’s too late. Never miss a good thing until it leaves you. That’s so true!!