Why Caring What Others Think Breeds Mental Illness
Vložit
- čas přidán 1. 06. 2024
- Access 49+ membership videos (more added each month) ► academyofideas.com/members/
*Join via Paypal or Credit Card or Bitcoin*
===
Get the transcript (and a gallery of the art work) ► academyofideas.com/2021/01/wh...
===
The best way to stay in touch and up to date with our content ► www.academyofideas.com/newsletter/
===
Subscribe on Odysee:
odysee.com/@academyofideas:3
===
Podcast:
Subscribe to us on iTunes: podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast...
Subscribe to us on Spotify: open.spotify.com/show/2dio7KU...
===
Follow us on Instagram:
/ academyofideas
===
Patreon ► / academyofideas
Bitcoin ► 1P6ntukFENP1nvEf4bJNj3tsDEuiSyUFW6
Monero►433AS7XtB9u6awpxwWNqua5TrLzvDZK1iM59Du3pECNiJesFBiMq5U7av8Gc3ozMavcppNU8jXwV1Lpc4ZAVPafh6FsfSBu
Paypal (One-Time Donations) ► www.paypal.me/academyofideas
Access 49+ membership videos (more added each month): academyofideas.com/members/
Thank you for your continued support.
Thank you for your inspiration,
Academy of Ideas!
Hey thank you for this 👏👏👏 ✊✊
Fr
Thanks brother! These videos enrich my life... the implementation process is a struggle but it is GNOSIS however! God bless you!
Hi! Can I buy a monthly membership using bitcoin?
This is why social media is so wack. It breeds the constant need for approval and conformity.
Yes and purposely so.
truth , so glad i finally deleted instagram. I’ve been studying the universe & humanity since. 👍
Gave Facebook the boot, never looked back after the last dopamine hit wore off.
@@tylermohr25 Congrats man.
@@silk3142 instagram is hard for me because my mind is really creative and loves the endless mood board IG can be...but I’m ALMOST there... (at the point of deletion)
"Care About What Other People Think, And You Will Always Be Their Prisoner."
- Lao Tzu
Why should I care what Lao Tzu thinks?
@@blokeabouttown2490 I like that I like that,that was good 😂🤣👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Fake Laozi quote
@@Americanninjaman “Fill your bowl to the brim
and it will spill.
Keep sharpening your knife
and it will blunt.
Chase after money and security
and your heart will never unclench.
Care about people's approval
and you will be their prisoner.
Do your work, then step back.
The only path to serenity.”
-Tao Te Ching, Verse 9
Keep in mind there are many English translations of the text and the wordings vary greatly.
Wanting to not care what people think may be wise but actually not caring what people think is very difficult.
"98% percent of my life was spent is solving problems that never existed" ~Mark Twain
Thank you! That quote hit me in the gut. So true 💯 ❤️
MINE was spent solving problems that really weren't mine.
When you constantly worry about others, You lose yourself.
I've been in that frame for most of my twenties
@@ryanvtec3885 it takes courage and practice to get over it. Prune those maladaptive dendrite connections.
This channel is the father I wish I had.
😆
100%
Sorry, son
That's sad bro
To be honest, you're far from alone. What is a parent? Well no one who reproduces with no useful or caring knowledge to pass along. The gratuitous nature of reproduction has made it so in our artificial society, that even the less deserving may pass along his failings.
Such comment never gets approval in a society full of culprits
“Nothing that goes on in anyone else’s mind can hurt you” - Marcus Aurelius
Unless their mind makes them murder you lol
Thank you, I will remember this
I do wonder if totally genuinely not caring about the opinions of any others at all, is also a sign of mentally illness
@@someonesomeone25 neglecting objective reality certain has its perks.....even if it means just not caring about what others think.
I think the obsession must be cared of.
@@tylermohr25 yea, but they gotta find me first 🤣👌
My motto for many years has been, "What others think of me is none of my business." Let me tell you I have had less drama in my life ever since I adopted that phrase.
HeRd it first in a therapy session hosted by a person who was also very big into Landmark Forum. Werner Erhardt borrowed heavily from Stoic ideas.
😳aww you too?
That is one of my favorite quotes! It isn't my business and I find peace and freedom in that.
Great expression
"Were I not Alexander I would have liked to be Diogenes"
"Man cannot remake himself without suffering for he is both the marble and the sculptor"
- Alexis Carrel
Quite interesting!!!
I dare say it's that we're the marble, the sculptor and the viewer of the finished work.
@Mithilesh M you just don't understand the quote. Stop interpreting it so literally. Its metaphorical.
To remake oneself is the willingness to go through a major process of letting go of a life made from feelings and thoughts garnered from experiences that have created a detriment to the full potential of one's life. So to remold or remake is a huge stretching process in all areas in order to expand into something greater, more connected and a more beautiful human. This is a process of suffering that goes through stages of release. So to be the sculpted and the sculptor of one's life is most profound, as most would prefer to remain a lump of clay (marble). Inert!
"It takes courage to make a fool of yourself."
Charlie Chaplin
This describes the feeling I get, while not dancing when others are.
@ken m easier when intoxicated. Then I’ll dance with strangers.
@@mooredann69 I love dancing, want a dance partner to dance alone somewhere outside away from a club
@@all.the.same.iProductions Funny how we must get rid of our minds to get into flow of life. If there was only a way one could do it consciously without chemical stimuli
"Ridicule is nothing to scared of. "
Adam Ant
When you don’t care what others think of you you’ve reached a higher level of freedom.
There aren't levels to freedom, you either have it or you don't.
@@TheRealJaded it still make sense when you come to think of it deeper.
It is human to care and inhuman to be indifferent. Look at cities...
Sounds like Jean-Paul Sartre
@@mongoose6685 that also shows the stupidity of Sartre. For him, being able to kill oneself, is a way of being free - like saying no to do something by selfishly/cowardly decide when life ends or begins. Many "adults" want to demoralize children in that way, especially online. One can study this in team ego-shooters (lots of KYS comments), youtube comments or VR chat.
Degrees of freedom is a joke.
As Dr. Seuss would say : "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind!"
When you care more what other people think of you than what you think of yourself, you transfer the power to live your life to them.
That explains why social media driven ppl seem lifeless as they chase materialistic goals and they never seem to have any real fun nor do they seek to understand
WORD!
"Your boos mean nothing to me, I see what makes you cheer"
-Rick Sanchez
"Every breath I take without your approval, raises my self-esteem" -Ditto
Ricky gervais said that at the last golden globes
"Why are you booing me? Im right"!
-Hannibal Buress
@@willbournerv2259 and Bill Burr in the Philly rant
I've never wanted CZcams to have a "LOVE" reaction more in my life! Season 5 coming this summer!!! Aw geez....
The older I get,the less I care about what other people think of me.
Same!! 🙂
It is truly liberating. " The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself. " Mark Twain
Nice character development.
Im 15. And i dont care the people around me, observe who i am.
Like, they told me dont mix all the colored clay, it'll turn to black. I just do it anyway, because my knowledge grows through empirical means.
And they replied im stupid
Pt Barnum would say just spell my name right.
It’s sad to see society decline so much so quickly, but it’s liberating and brings peace to separate your mind/beliefs from what the crowd thinks. The less you seek their acceptance and the more comfortable you become with their rejection, the more at peace you can become with yourself.
Ten Years of schooling didn't give me the wisdom and life skills that you did in 10 minutes. Thanks so much
My friend, schooling is indoctrination. Philosophy is freedom. 😉
Formal schooling beats out of a man his ambition.
You might wanna get a refund then
@@alexdetrojan4534 philosophy is freedom? School is indoctrination?... Isn't philosophy taught in schools?
@@georgebell9634 There are philosophies for living on earth that promote individualism and personal growth but sadly most educational institutions focus there curriculum on promoting philosophies that are primarily based on collectivist altruism!
- Dear Diogenes, you should learn to serve the king so you won't need to live on lentils.
-You should learn to live on lentils, so you won't need to serve the king. (Diogenes)
Lentils are awesome.
Excellent!
Gold
YES !!
Amen.
Caring what others think greatly affected my mental health and I'm still trying to get out of that mindset.
own it and you will own them
Same here. Rise
Look someone in the eye and say
"I don't give a shit what you think."
same! Did you manage to change?
@@ryanvtec3885 Hello! It's been 9months since you wrote this, did you manage to get out of this mindset?
“If you are ever tempted to look for outside approval,” Epictetus said, “realize that you have compromised your integrity. If you need a witness, be your own.”
so good thank you
My motto for years has been, "What others think of me is none of my business."
Unfortunately there is no recipe to “cure” lack of confidence. The only way is to put yourself out there and embarrass yourself to the point where you don’t care anymore. The way I used to make it a little bit easier was to think of it as an adventure.
That's not particularly true you can emulate tendencies like shoulders back, head up, standing straight and as you(and the video) said purposefully not conform this is the path to confidence I believe a better way to put it is there is not shortcut so you have to take the suffering upon yourself to achieve it
@@yirawls Do you read/watch Jordan Peterson videos by any chance? He says something similar
@@humbled_pleb I do but it was more something I learned when I wondered why soldiers are taught how to stand it's actually because it makes you breath better so it provides many benefits
An adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered, an inconvenience is an adventure wrongly considered.
@Andrew If you went to a park and asked out 100 random women, how many would say yes to you?
"Do you really want to be admired by Mad Men?," really put things into perspective!
Love that!
Whose quote?
"It is no measure of health to be well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society." --Jiddu Krishnamurti.
Everyone is mad? Thats a bold statement
@@Shadow77999 No more than your use of the word "everyone." That's a bold assumption. Heh.
This is how I live my life. Most people aren't worth knowing , much less trying to impress.
Not caring what other people think doesn't mean not being interested in them
@@aoi2853actually it does mean the same thing
This whole video is my motto in life. My mother was taught to be this way by her father. She refined the practice and passed it to me. I have never been loved much by my peers, but those friends I do make are true friends.
It helps knowing who cares for you for who you are and not what's in your hand.
"Very often, the people who are quickest to judge, and the most excessive with their insults" are also often the most afraid of ridicule, themselves. :) 8:34
For them, ridicule is a death sentence.
true dat
Cancel culture 2021...
Yeh you feel that uneasy vibe, its like a whole lot of their bull shit flying around and they know some is gonna come back to them.
The accuser, mostly has the problem they ridicule, in a defensive attack to shield them from their own shame, donkeys . Consequences escape no one.
My life has become so much easier since I’ve cut off all relations that impeded my growth and stopped caring for what others think.
I did this many years ago only to realize that I didn't need to cut everyone out, I only simply just needed to ignore what I thought their opinions were of me.
@@germanikolaas
I had to cut some people off because they would physically try to hinder me.
Same. Used to have a massive circle a year ago and now I spend most of my time in isolation. It's an adjustment but it needed to happen.
@@toiletfarm Quality over quantity, sadly zombies surround us, so quality is basically unattainable these days.
@@crystaljean522 Its obtainable, but you gotta dig deep as shit these days to find it.
"But I suspect that the only free person, really free, is the one who is not afraid of ridicule"
Luis Fernando Verissimo
so true
But some people are FRAGILE you might say something that repeats over and over again in their head. You don't know someone till you walk a mile in their shoes. So yeh your chemistry at the time maybe chipper balanced and you think your setting an example.... Things don't always get taking the way its coming out of you.
I don't care about Luis look out world here I come ha.ha.
Of course some one is for sure is gonna say I didn't understand that. The energy is the WHOLE game I won't get into it cause its big, but they are what not ready yet o.k. they don't know yet yeh you reading this. I know you don't know year 2021. It's energy 2 people one energy. O.k. now that I'll stop here.
I am right but because they don't understand they tell me I'm wrong. I grow stronger they try to decide looking around to their fellow mates if I'm right or I'm crazy. At that minute I fall and a point goes to them, but wait just found a thought a new found power, now their eyes look in amusement and they are telling me they were on my side all along, just then they all started laughing, oh my word the spirit of doom was on me I was saying all scrambled words didn't make sence, just then my doctor gave me my medication now I feel better.
As someone who has been a nonconformist for 30+ years I've found that seeking to not care about what others think of me brought me peace but not joy. There's no happiness or meaning to be found in being disinterested, however I rediscovered joy in my life through curiosity, curiosity of others lived experiences and their perspectives. I'll be brief, be interested in others opinions of you and others, not because you seek their approval and praise, but because you seek to learn about them and their ways.
People are interesting, be interested in what they think and feel, not because you want something in return other than to learn about them, the enjoyment stems from learning and understanding, as you learn about others you also learn about yourself.
As a side note I also have to mention that being a nonconformist who's interested in others as opposed to a nonconformist who is uninterested in others, has a profoundly different effect on other people around me. I never managed to encourage others around me to be nonconformist until I started being interested in other people, since I made the concious change however, several family members who always sought to make me more like them, to conform, has come around to wanting to be a bit more like me, to not conform.
I think there's a common trap nonconformists fall into of not giving a damn about others, if you do that you give up seeking their approval but you also give up the quest to seek to understand other people, if you do that life not only becomes boring and pointless but you also stunt your own rate of self learning and betterment. I cannot overstate how much I've learned about myself as I started being more interested in people around me again.
edit: this response is not to the information in the video above as it was meant to be understood - the below is only in response to how folks often take these instructions .
I agree. I'm not really a nonconformist, but other people seem to tell me I am..so.. I guess I am. I was raised in a generation that was taught "People need to like you for who you are." It sounds healthy, but its not. It's immature to just say "People need to like me as I am" and it won't work well for that person. We need to bend a little for each other, so that we are not causing each other discomfort. We need to be polite; we can't just walk around rude and cocky and demanding people like us that way, because that is "who I am". Nonsense.
Maturity is realizing you have to offer something for the things you want in return. Some of this involves caring what people think. Some of this involves slight changes - but often those changes are growth.
I can't choose to avoid showers, avoid all hygiene, pick my nose in public, blow my nose on my shirt, and then demand "People like me for who I am" nor can I expect to be very happy from not caring what others think in this manner. Think my example too extreme? Not really, any kind of "ignoring" of what others need/want in a social setting will cause me to suffer. Unless I don't care, or need anything from other humans. In that case, the bets are off.
**
Never let anyone make you feel awful though. Don't care what they think in that framework. Never let anyone make youf eel awful. And never do anything you really don't want to do.
**
But that's a far cry from "Dont care what others think of you." Good instruction, but not very specific or accurate.
Great video though. I really love this channel.
One of the things that helped me the most with my anxiety(which is severe for trauma reasons, not merely social though still is social as well) was to sing in the street in a crowd. Some would laugh, some would come up to me and tell me I had a good voice, it always put smiles on the faces around me. Very few would look upon me with derision.
This on top of other social exercises helped to get me to show myself and find my voice in ways I doubt would have come about without it. I had to work for years to not worry.
@Armando Martinez It took a lot of work for me to be able to talk to people at all. Mostly I wanted to feel okay in my own body and everything else in life came second since nothing could be enjoyed.
Never realized when doing all this at first that I was doing exactly what I should, it was instinctual. My anxiety is extremely severe so still have issues with it but also grieving several close deaths so this is mainly why it is still as bad as it is.
Regardless, now when I feel the anxiety I can tell others and talk to people somewhat and I highly doubt I would be alive now without having worked on myself as much.
There is some truth that a LOT of what we find “embarrassing” about ourselves....most people....don’t give a SHIT about it 😂😂😂
Good for you, bud
I've had similar experiences with overcoming anxiety by playing a musical instrument in front of people on the street. Music is a language we can all understand and appreciate.
@@sahamal_savu Yes, and speaking with all kinds of people gives a sense of security
@SlayThat Pussy I have had anxiety opening mail or looking at my messages so can understand how weird it is. It is also very physical and a lot of people do not know this. It can effect all of our cells and make us feel as if we are losing our minds if bad enough. You can even get schizophrenic like symptoms with panic and anxiety attacks.
You gotta admit that Diogenes was a savage philosopher.
dare I say GOAT of Philosophy
I think he is more specifically called a ‘Cynic’ the first actually
diogenes, socrates, and epicurus, and aristotle the best greek philosophers
@@kevinvictor911 Plato
@@guest0046 yes top 5 right there.
Always amazes me to know that someone in 4 BC already had this notion or this kind of mentality. If this was a necessity 2000 years ago, where the notion of world was so small, imagine today.
I was bullied from a very young age. A social reject since I started school. My parents tried to teach me how to cope with it but considering I’m adopted they had very different childhoods than me. I’ll never understand how to be a normal girl. They’re so optimistic, simple and seem to jump into things without thinking about the bad. Me on the other hand, think too critically about EVERYTHING and while it has been beneficial I hate it.
This is how my brain has been wired and it’ll probably send me to the same fate as my dead father. But I’ll try to make the best of it
You have the ability to change that, but first you have to BELIEVE that you can change. Take one day at a time, but don’t give up! Every day, tell yourself that no one is better than you! And they are not.
I had a very similar time among my school peers. I could never feel accepted by the group. I hear you, bows n ties.
I wish you could be friends with my oldest daughter. She has a good effect on people that know her.
Please try your best to seek out good friends and especially teachers.
We all need a mentor to thrive. Do not isolate yourself.
Too much social media is destructive. Peace.
I wish you the best. You sound like someone I'd be friends with👍.
@Hail Satan everyone has their own process satan.
"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take."
- Wayne Gretzky
- Micheal Scott
- Me
Absolutely
Also everyone who said it
-W.A. Mozart
The Great One....
@CenAZ Walker Snot provoking comment
Jamie Lanister: I dont care what other people think
Tywin: that's just what you want people to think
Imagine not caring what other people think not because you wanna be the guy that people say doesn't care about others' opinions, but because you truly don't give a shit. That's true freedom.
@@NicoAssaf That's the goal 👌
Nice, I just started watching game of thrones lol, it's pretty good
Self-deception is a kind of bad faith.
@@kaimiz You are in for a TREAT!
Excessive isolation can exacerbate mental illness. And people who suffer from mental illness are often rejected by peers and family alike. I enjoy my time alone, but long for intimacy of shared thought and experience with someone without fearing their intentions or motives. I get rejected A LOT-- in subtle ways. It only hurts when you care about the person who is rejecting you.
I really needed this. I’d been developing a nervous persona of late, being paranoid about what people thought of me
If someone is trying to manipulate you look em in the eye and say,
"I don't give a shit what you think !"
I do it at work when needed and people leave me alone. I've been nicknamed" The Commander" so I walk around and act like it.
I went to an acting school in LA. Didn't really care about becoming an actor just wanted to strengthen my character.
People don't know if you're faking it or not. I learned alot.
Don't be cheap. Invest in yourself.
@@cammontreuil7509 thank you for the advice :)
Yes, been there; done that
Social anxiety + low self esteem +zero social skills
.
Living worst nightmare, this video helps me thank you! ❣️
Honestly I recommend developing a spiritual practice. Daily. Also low key God is actually real and you can connect with that
there are millions of us, but collectively we could not organise a piss up in a brothel, our brand is non existent and our PR sucks...but we are not the Herd! :)
yea this video basically said your position is ideal hahah
@@JAMWITCH it's a conundrum alright. We are probably the Meek going to inherit the Earth.
@@kparker2430 Maybe but inherit no, win, perhaps. This video gives solid advise for people in the social economic hierarchy to have a good look at themselves, but us depressed, anxiety filled over thinkers need to do the exact opposite. We need to get into that hierarchy and climb it. That will cure us of our illnesses. Were watching this channel to rescue masculine and return to heroism. We can use our currently position of not caring what others think to our benefit to climb the hierarchy hard and fast but we need to still be in that hierarchy and have responsibility for our own mental health, no way around it. Our social status monitors our dopamine levels. The Earth is unlikely to be given to anxiety depressed individuals. This is a battle ground. Earths highest law is the law of survival. Jung is what we need to inherit (lol) The rest will take care of itself, such as us being the brothers to each other we need, in order to replace the fathers we never had. We'll make it though and in style.
"I learned not to care what anybody thinks about me, that's a superpower"
- Dustin 'The Diamond' Poirier
“We’re not here to participate, we’re here to take over”. Connor.
And then they touched gloves.
It is what it is 🤷♂️
Where did he say that?
Cool to see another MMA gent thats not only into the physical body but also the mind
The feeling of not caring about what other people think is pure lightness. You feel buoyant and unattached. It's the feeling of true freedom! It's an actual feeling and not an intelectual understanding. Once you feel that, you have learned how to remove yourself from others' judgment. So, don't think about it, but feel it. 💚🙃
I’m going to have to rewatch this one until it is engraved into my head.
Your heart is a tablet. Write good things on it.
Since I was a child, I have always felt I didn't "belong here" and as a result, never cared what anyone thought of me. Now, in my mature years, I realize I have never had many "friends", though I have found my best one to be ..myself. My kids call me the world's oldest "hipster", though I admit, I'm not sure if that is a good thing or bad.
I feel you.
Thats a good thing. Stay young at heart. The body grows old, not the spirit. But we can shorten this, growing old, with our thoughts and how we live.
We feel as we dont belong because we are not from here.
A temporary experience in the physical. That could last a lifetime...
Peace
You're probably an INFJ personality, we vibrate at a different frequency to the Norms.
@@tonytrismegistusroberts5124 I looked it up ..and yes, you are correct my friend :)
Let them call you anything they want....but late for dinner.
"If the world hates you, know that it hated me first." - Jesus
Jesus would forgive me even if his followers wouldn't.
@@elinope4745 If you're repentant, of course. There were religious hypocrites in Jesus' day same as ours. The only time Jesus got truly angry in the Bible was at the religious hypocrites.
@@EliseDoomSlayer I know how he felt. A whole lot of religious hypocrites out there.
Religion doesn't have a monopoly on hypocrisy.
@@rdrake316 Of course not, but religious hypocrites do the most amount of damage.
" with time insults and negative judgement by other people will become empty words" After just one month of meditation I am literally experiencing this.
Applying the fine art of indifference is also a great way to deal with narcissists and borderline types who take pleasure in seeing others reactions.
“The eyes of others our prisons; their thoughts our cages.” ― Virginia Woolf
“The eyes of others our mirror; their thoughts our key.” - Another perspective
Hogwash!
"Hell is other people" - Sartre
The title of the play is No exit. Makes you think
People are "invaders of forever." Inescapable self-pepetuaiting errors of nature. Litterally.
@@stupifyingstupedity2112
Inescapable, errors? Really?
Yuri A., Unless there's only Oneness....you are them and they are you. Spiritually anyway.
Camus can do, but Sartre is smartre
Worrying about what others think of me really became a problem when I became a Mother. Then when I moved to a new neighborhood, everyone judged me before they got to know me, first. I wish I knew WHY people tend to gang up on one kid, or one Mother..probably because they'd never do it alone instead of a group effort. Watch out for cliques of women. When you see that and you pass by the little group you hear sly chuckles..right away you feel that theyre talking about you. They are! In fact they're ridiculing you! Lots of them even do it in Church on Sunday!! I think its JEALOUSY and COWARDICE. That's all. It's painful.and it's unnecessary. It takes ENERGY to gang up on people. I've even seen elderly women do this, and you'd think that they should know better, since they're alot older. WHY are people so mean up close? I have no idea. I'm glad I don't know. I am glad to be just the way i am. I'm so glad I'm ME and not THEM.
This man explained in ten minutes, what took me at least 10 acid trips to figure out.
lol
“Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner.” ~Lao Tzu ❤️🙏🏽
The best way to avoid what others say is
Compete with yourself, live for your dreams.
AI will end us all...
It sounds like you have to inoculate yourself against the “disease of the West” by actually inviting criticism towards oneself to build immunity. I have to admit, I have allowed the mean and harsh judgments of others nearly destroy me. I was the one to blame for this as we are the ones responsible for our suffering through attachments to things. I appreciate this video. Thank you. 🙏
That is wisom that comes with age. If you are young and exposed to endless criticisms, it takes longer to reach the point where you no longer care. But by then untold damage has occurred.
Constructive self-criticism is the best builder of all good things!
Bro, I love your channel.
U have shared an extraordinary amount of wisdom with everyone. I’ve learned tons from your channel.
Thanks again for another great vid.
"Do not waste what remains of your life speculating about your neighbors, unless with a view to some mutual benefit. To wonder what so-and-so is doing and why, or what he is saying or thinking or scheming - In a word distracts you from the fidelity to the ruler within you - means a loss of opportunity to some other task." - Marcus Aurelius
Having gone through a recent breakup that ripped my heart out and sent me into deep depression and self doubt, this is very relevant and useful.
I've gone through some breakups that were devastating at the time; now that I am 60 years old, I realize those breakups were the best thing for me. I never would have achieved what I have if I had been tethered to those people. (The best revenge is to go out and succeed beyond their expectations of you)
As painful as the loss of another is, somehow breakup can lead to breakthrough 🌷
My gf said she'll take a "break" with me for about 8 months 3 days ago. I never truly felt terrible about it due to exact reasons in this video, and further with existential philosophy. Seeing this video kind of reinforces my view that I'm 'on the right track of the soul' so to say.
If only she'd see this video
You’ll grow from it bro. Keep your head up brother🙏🏻
Been there, you’ll be alright
I truly appreciated the fact that this began with the statement to clarify that this is not about literally caring NOTHING about what anyone thinks of you but, instead, of not allowing who you are and what you're worth to be dictated by the approval of what society says is important or makes you "valuable." A person who is possessed of bad habits, is ill tempered or rude and excuses it by "Well I don't care what people think about me" isn't a visionary or cool - they're arrogant and generally a bore. Well done and well said, Academy of Ideas.
Very important note!
I've lived with ridicule for a good portion of younger years and I am glad about this because now I couldn't care less what most folks think of me (except God, and my immediate family...hubby, children, grandchildren, in-laws, etc.) Another reason I tend to avoid social media.
Who is the.narrator and owner of this channel? You are one of a kind.
Apparently it's run by two brothers from Canada, one of which is named Michael I believe.
"Academy of Ideas is the creation of two brothers from Canada. All of the content is produced by us. We are not supported by or affiliated with any organization or university. Our goal is to to spread the message of individual liberty and empowerment to the world."
@@sahamal_savu Philosophy makes you think independently, which is unachievable by the most of modern people.
We are already the students of this owner's school
@@deisk2707 who himself is a student of everything he talks about. What i like about these two is that they don't pretend to come up with any great ideas, they just bring together old ones really well for our problems cure
Many sincere thanks for the great videos... And for sharing with everyone. Love and respect for what you do from New Zealand.
I have always been the weirdo, non-conforming misfit and proud of it. It does give a sense of being free that others don't seem to have.
I am regular looking and dressing, conform to what I find beneficial and accept what else I must, and don't go out of my way to act weird or make any personal show of protest against the rest of the world. I have no regular "role" to play and my personal "freedom" is not a concept I am bound to. You would never know it, but in most instances, it is I, and not the obvious "oddball" who has actually "been there and done that". Needing to prove one is free is no sort of liberation, and pride is not our friend, in the end.
I am not saying that eccentricity is a bad trait, or that genuine originality isn't awesome, nor am I making any pointed reference to you, in particular, CheeseUs, it's just that too many awake each day stuck in their volunteer "job" of having to be different, which makes them essentially the same, slaves to an ideal, sensing their own hubris.
@@WinkLinkletter I don't have to be different, I was born this way and no longer make any attempt to fit in. I'm not happy not being me.
Worst insult people can throw at you is that your Normal :)
@@WinkLinkletter Hi Kevin, I'm 65 and don't fit in anywhere, and ok with that, even comfortable with it. As the years go by, I'm more and more accepting of my weirdness, and have no intention of even trying to fit in anywhere. It's ok with me if people don't approve, so what? Just go live your life and don't be concerned with what others think.
'He dressed differently in order to accustom himself "to be ashamed only of what was really shameful"'. Such a profound piece of wisdom which ought to be obvious. The more wrapped up we are in the trivial obsessions and trends of the times, the more we miss when we actually act dishonourably or with a lack of integrity.
"No one can make a fool out of you without your consent"
I forgot who said it but it has stayed with me ever since I first heard it. Also, loved the video as always!
"You couldn't have uploaded a more perfect video at a more perfect time."
- Me
I can’t believe how well these videos are crafted. So much meat in each video, honestly I can’t thank you enough for fortifying the psyche. Never stop!
THE most important lesson I ever learned! I always lived in angst as a child and adolescent worrying about other's opinions of myself. I met a Rasputin-like friend who erred on the side of total lack of concern over this issue. The balance I found has alienated many but being able to "be yourself" and thus losing that anxiety is again THE most important life change I accepted and enacted. Peace...inner peace ✌ 🤔
absolutely the truth. i had a turning point in my life when i just stopped caring about what others thought. my life has been incomparably better since.
My social anxiety feels really special right now
(This took me a lot of courage to comment)
Let it be known, OP has taken the first step in recovering from the shackles of fear.
Fuck fear. You are not alone.. we are all with you.. you are beautiful.. you are adorable.. you are beautiful as you are. :)
This is the battle I'm working on as of late- the question of how to kill my externally-fed ego in order to be true to myself, not to be swayed by what is expected. It brings me such anxiety at first, but being true to myself and honest with others has already brought me such a wealth of small joys in my life.
Fantastic message.
Yep, ego is always the problem.
Probably the one of the best subscriptions on my CZcams....got rid of my iphone 2 yrs ago ill never go back lifes better this way
I was taught my entire life to care what others thought of me. How can you avoid projecting a particular “statement” about yourself to others? This is a fact of life. People will think things about you, and one needs to represent something.
This is true.
But i just cant stop caring.
I'll not care for you, I got your back.
@@tylermohr25 well said. Ditto!
Best channel on CZcams, hands down.
The advice in this video is amazing! It gives me so much hope and freedom to know that I can and WILL overcome my “people approval addiction.”
Thanks for your comment. I had no idea there was such an addiction though I had it. I searched for it and realized there are many people who suffer from what you said. I didn't know it had a name. Now I know its name, it helps me to research it better. Thanks!
What I keep in mind while also being true to myself is that this way of thinking can make you feel lonesome and left out at times. Chances are I won't fit in or be loved by everyone. Living to my true self and not caring what people think may not sit well with other people, and that's also something I live with. The best solution is to get out there and find people who think the way you do and share the same interests. I've met so many cool like-minded people by being myself than if I were to try and fit in with the crowd. I'm grateful I can stay true to myself but also happy for the friends I have that accept me.
I've been living this. Non conformity is met with huge resistance,in the work place and outside of it. Keep pushing onward regardless,lift the weight of the false self and shrug off the opinions they try to shackle to your feet. It becomes easier and the result is a much stronger and true self, freedom. The struggle is worth the result.
So true. I am not the most favorite person in my workplace but at least I am true to myself and that is all that matters to me. But it is annoying how they all want to transform me to them. And now in this time of "cancel culture" is this terrible behaviour especially widespread...
Now imagine living in the country, where everyone cares what everybody thinks about you. Pure suffering, no chill...
Basically Korea
Pretty much everywhere.
It’s called Japan
Black American society, in my opinion. And I know because I grew up with folk like this, my grandmother in particular.
Naaaaaah. Where I live it's waaay worse, believe me. People frightened to say what they think. I can't fully explain it right now tho, but yeah, it's really fukd up here. I bet most of you would believe me, if you live with me. And by the way I live in Kazakhstan. (
It's been my experience that a good reason to care what others think arises from childhood trauma. There's a thing called hyper-vigilance, being on guard all the time waiting for the next attack, even though there is very rarely an attack coming. Caring what others think usually comes from the subconscious, not present moment thinking.
Being willing to laugh with others at yourself is necessary for developing a healthy mindset.
Nothing disarms those seeking to make you feel worse about yourself by pointing out those flaws and laughing at you for them, like laughing at you with them, I have found. Most people wouldn't know how to react when I've done it at least.
A lack of concern for what others think, equipped with recognizing the value of humility, has been the corner stone of my peace of mind, for many moons..
We sacrifice three quarters of ourselves in order to be like other people!
What you describe here is the benefit I gained from having dreadlocks for 17 years of my life. That is also why I say, "It's not about how you form your dreadlocks; it's about how your dreadlocks form you." Great video, as always.
I grown always told by my parents, that I should thinking what other think, what other feel. Then when grown up that make me became a people pleaser with serious overwhelming headache when in the croud, i'm exhausted, my energy is drained always. But now i'm still working to get rid of this shit. I will
Interesting how many have this problem in life but not on the internet.
Great observation.
*validation intensifies
I wonder if there’s a way to think about real life that would be like we all think about the internet? After all, no one on here is nearly as afraid as in real life, yet they’re both real
The internet is fun until you have to put your real name on it. I think people care plenty what others think on the internet though, but it just feels like you can always step away when it's not your real name or people you can't avoid. People who have a lot of job security or a safe home base to go back to can act like this is real life too. People without those things are trapped and can't act like philosopher aristocrats.
this video is nice and all and certainly you'd could gleam some good advice from it, but I see a major flaw. Okay so what what about the people around you who's opinions DO matter. Not just loved ones (important in other ways), but people that in some way have control of your lives. Bosses are obviously one, but even co-workers, as a group can be powerful enough to get you fired or give you hell. I think to an example of a shift manager I have worked with at a restaurant. When I try to do something my way (which i tend to do often), there's always a chance he would try to say "why are you doing it like that?" When i reply "just trying to do it my way" there were times when he would not drop it and insisted I'm doing it wrong. In a situation like this, where you're trying to work, it's a little more difficult to just tell him to fuck off.
That's just a very specific example, nother might be ignoring loved one's opinions and getting so deep into your own shit and becoming depressed (a very possible result when you alienate other people), that actually helpful advice you should've been taking could've gotten you out of it in the first place.
whateva
My greatest achievement in life was dancing on an empty dance floor with ZERO influence from alcohol. I just liked the music and no one wanted to dance so I nervously got up there and learned to enjoy myself. My life changed after that day.
@F Mouse I'm not sure. It was a live DJ mixing up stuff on the spot.
The fact that this was posted on the exact same day I that I realized my biggest problem (the video topic) is pretty mind blowing. God is on my side now that I allow it. Thank you for this. Everything is worded exactly the way I needed to hear it.
I finding this a year after it was posted but glad I did. I’m reminded of this:
“I work at a job I can’t stand
to make money to buy things I don’t need
In order to impress people I don’t like. “
Validation is a delicate balance. Seek it too much and you become insecure. Never seek it and you risk becoming a sociopath
so I want to be a sociopath
Too much of a stretch there, with the second statement.
@@hoomanot yeah I agree.
Uhmmm...what if the people you seek validation from WANT you to be a sociopath??????? Suck it 🤣👌
Sociapathy isn't defined by the sovereignty from external validation. Extreme antisocial behaviour is. You can be polite and a team player, without caring about others opinions. There, within itself is a certain level of conformity,which I'd say isn't extremely antisocial. You could be resisting other expectations of how others want you to act simultaneously. Reliance on confirming to others perspectives of what they believe you should be, is like raising a white flag and giving up on your true self because you're afraid of what others may say. Spineless when you dig down to the core of it, not sociapathic.
These seem to come at just the right moment.
I absolutely love them.
Brilliant work 👍
caring what others think was the main principle in the household i grew up in. it was such a imperative that it didnt matter what the people inside the household thought of each other, as long as the image of the household towards the outside was still intact. to grew up in this setting felt like a hostage situation. you get conditioned to put up with everything, and dont tell anyone about it. cause there will be unfun consequences for you, and a lot of ambarassment to the members of the household. if you ended up in a situation that might stain the image, your at fault. no matter the circumstances. if a grumpy fat dude that hates kids, knocks you off your bike while riding to school and he goes to the police cause his arm hurts now, your at fault. you get accused of becoming criminal, the bike gets taken away, and youre grounded.
or at holidays,... dad's driving a rented convertible on a dusty isle. the tire pops, and he gets sand under his contacts. he's flipping, calling me and mom "assholes" for not helping him find the spare tire. i've took all my courage and told him "likewise". this ended up in me being grounded for the rest of the holidays. this was probably also the point where they lost me. i brought this up many times,... not once they even acknowledged that it happened, and insisted to not make a fuzz about it.
I think that this is one of the most incredible, as well as beneficial videos that i have watched and listened to in a long time. Too bad that more people can't abide by this philosophy ...... it would make many people better people.
6:15 damn he packing a lot of heat with these statements
Thank you for making this; it is exactly what I needed. I have been reading Stoicism and find in it a way of thinking that leads out of the prison of others' attitudes.
Very wise words. The older and more my self esteem grew, the less what others thought bothered me.
I feel vindicated cause my family thinks I'm a narcissist when I say this and that I'm wrong.
ikr, I hate those sorts of people who resort to calling us names when we stand up for ourselves and call out their bs
Well..: isn’t the point of this video.. not caring about what others think... so.. maybe you shouldn’t careee? O.o
Sounds like projection. It just shows their character, not yours. Pay no attention to it; you're better than that! YOU got THIS!! 👊
@@UberGastronomer you fucking get what i'm saying, love you man
Bro... Your channel is a must for every person in society, especially young ones 🖤
This video turned very helpful for me as I was suffering from a heartbreak recently and was in sheer melancholy. Thanks for the Therapy 😊
I’ve actually done this intentionally:
At school I used to sometimes put on a jacket or a shirt that looked “strange”, not women’s clothing, but a distinct style of apparel everytime.
I would observe how people would laugh at me, and asked teachers what they thought of how I looked. They would obviously lie and say “you.. look great today!” with a fake smile.
I sometimes wish I had done that more often as I now find myself caring what others think too often. The philosophers long ago had it much easier as there were no modern technologies, no modern civil infrastructure, and no modernity.
The modern world now is a cesspool, and I have to live in it and tailor my appearance and verbiage as such to whom ever I happen to speak to. Sad, dark times we live in today.
This is important for everyone, but especially if you are young. Don't wait to grasp the meaning of this video like myself.✌️
I love that when i first studied about diogenes in my philosophy class my teacher said alexander the great had a huge crush on him and once diogenes was laying in the grass appreciating the sun when alexander came and asked him to go live with him in his palace and he replied "excuse me but you're standing in front of my sun"
I know! I fucking LOVE Diogenes! What an inspiration!
Hahaha.
@ken m there's just as much worth in any of these stories about hypothetical figures as there is in sesame street.
I actually realized this after I ingested mushrooms in the early 2000’s. At first, I thought everyone was talking about me. After that, I realized it was my own issue last manifesting. Finally, I was able to hear the “subtext” of what they were saying. Some guy talking to a group with his foot on a rock (like Captain Morgan) was declaring his coolness and status. We always try to figure out what others are thinking, especially about us, but we never really know. Better just to be and let them figure out what they think about you.
Top caliber videos for coping in this time. I enjoy your analysis and need it to keep writing my satirical book and not let the "what will people think" fear inhibit my process. Thank you for building our self awareness and strength. No totalitarian tip-toe, no fear, no tyranny!