6 Must Know Facts About Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)
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- čas přidán 1. 06. 2024
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BPD or Borderline Personality Disorder is an often misunderstood mental health condition in which a person has long-term patterns of reactive emotional responses. But what really is BPD, and what are the facts about BPD or Borderline Personality Disorder that we should know? Let's dive into the types of BPD first, and then into misconceptions and symptoms about BPD, and then how to manage or deal with Borderline Personality Disorder, and then what causes or the cause of BPD or Borderline Personality Disorder, and also diving into the diagnosis of BPD. What has your experience been with BPD? Do you have it? Do you know someone who has it? Share your experience in the comments. Or ask any additional questions you may have!
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Which medications are those with BPD usually prescribed?
I go through all of them
This is boring to me.Highsensiviti persons,biological reson,what we should do?Withaut them there is no humaniti.
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, dr.sporessss I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place.
Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac.
He's constantly talking about killing someone.
He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
Is he on instagram?
Yes he is. dr.sporessss
Thank you! Dx’d in 1987 (yup) with BPD. Mainly what is now called Quiet BPD, with overlaps. I stopped dating decades ago (I’m 71) because it just hurt too much. I’m sure my clingy neediness and mood swings drove them away. I just started EMDR in October and DBT group in January, and I feel like a new person. I’m coming off (very slowly, with medical,supervision) some of my antidepressants, which I’ve been on for 50 (yup) years. It’s never too late, please keep trying, everyone. Life is actually good for me for the first time. Your videos always help me, and I do hope you’re feeling better as well. ❤
What a hope-filled message. Thank you for sharing.
@@wolfferoni You’re welcome, that’s exactly why I posted it. Good luck on your journey.
I quit dating 6 years ago for the same reasons - thank you for the encouragement, and I’m so glad you’re finally feeling better. I hope one day I’ll feel better too.
What antidepressants are you taking? If you don’t mind sharing.
@@Jupiterguurl I don't mind. I'm on desvenlafaxine (Pristiq), Welbutrin. And then Trazodone at bedtime.
The example of 6 is so real. I try never to share those thoughts with anyone because I know it's not rational and they would never understand. Its forever, it's not you, its me.
Hey, I needed to stop here just to say that sharing these types of thoughts with people I trusted (people that continually showed they cared, not necessarily my ‘favourite’ people) has helped me make immense progress! It helps people understand your behaviour and if they can communicate back in the same way, that can help you gain perspective and learn about other possible scenarios why someone might not e.g. text back ‘soon enough’. Ik there could also be a plethora of reasons why what I wrote could be pointless to you … either way, sending you a hug 🤍
Me too...I behave the same way. Behaved...when as a kid. Now, I keep people at a surface level now, I do not ask for help, or ask anything from anyone. And my relationship, intimate is with my dog...my dog won't leave me, won't lie to me, won't tell me things that are not real amd always by my side. And when I have lashed out at people, it further distances me from people, and I accept the loss of friends as an expense I pay- so I have to consider the cost before I do- and this- like the person who has money burning a hole in thier pocket, holding back my thoughts tongue for a person who I feel is not nice, burns a hole in my pocket, the cost is I lose 4 friends over that one...I have given up. When I shared how I felt- for the first time with a girl friend- she left. This hurts my ❤. I deleted most all my contact list on my phone down to just the bills.
It was so spot on that it confirmed my self-diagnosis. I have spiraled hundreds of times, not able to self-regulate for hours. It's scary
@@localppcartistmy heart hurts, I get it.
The first time I heard about BPD was through "Crazy Ex Girlfriend", when Rebecca gets diagnosed with the condition, which helps her deal with her self destructive behaviour and actions. Thanks for clarifying it more, Kati.
Of course!! So glad I could help :) xoxo
One other movie that depicts someone with both Complex PTSD and BPD is "Gia". Angelina Jolie stars in it. It's really good, though a bit hard to watch at times.
@@ladybaabaa3294 Ooh, thank you for sharing that. I recently watched 'Girl, Interrupted' with Angelina Jolie and looked at her acting roles because she was great. Saw 'Gia' but wasn't sure if it was something I'd be interested in. Will add that to the list. 'Girl, Interrupted' also features a main character with BPD (played by Winona Ryder) but the BPD wasn't focused on all that much in my opinion.
@@wolfferoni Yeah, definitely. The BPD in Winona's character was quite subtle. The behaviour in the Gia character is more prominent.
I was hospitalised and diagnosed with Bpd at 19. Im now 39 and was disgnosed with autism last year. I just wonder had i had a diagnosis as a child i wouldnt have gone through all that trauma, and had the support i always needed. I feel i was really let down, by alot of people.
I had a similar experience. People were mean in the 80s and 90s and everyone was on their own. One time, someone said to me, "no one wants to be the parent of the kid with a problem."
@@Nuculer9001 yeah but sometimes the parent is the real problem! My mother was abusive, and I barely made it through school despite being intelligent. I was in a constant state of fight or flight, and then bullied quite a bit at school....
I'm still not sure if it's AuDHD, PTSD or BPD, but it's impossible to feel safe in this world and I just wanna fix it. Me. Whatever.
Hi Kati , I have been wondering about something lately. Is there a connection between BPD and Gender Dysphoria? I’ve a few things here and there. Thanks
I actually had the opposite experience. Got diagbosied with asd at 6 and I was constantly infatasised, treated like id never amount to anything, taken out of class at school, told how im "special " and will always need help from others and never ever will be independent. I was also constantly bullied by my siblings, school kids and my family all treated me like I was this stupid kid who would never get anywhere in life. Autisim became my identity and I thought thats all I was worth, a dumb kid who would always need someone to do everything for them. Not an actual human being with thoughts and feelings. I don't have a sense of self now. I was constantly told from when I started developing bpd that it was just autisim/ADHD and never got treated for it and tbh if my symptoms of bpd were identified, my bpd probably wouldn't of been nearly as bad:(
With that being sad, not knowing you have asd and not being diagnoised is also very tramuatic
@@teaganpesce3642I work in special ed and I can totally relate to what you said. That is a huge failure on the part of many educators. Just because someone has asd doesnt mean they are incapable of learning and having a positive life!
The one thing that annoys me slightly is, it always seems like people are insinuating that you can only be 1/4 or 2/4 of the BPD subcategories- which I strongly disagree with, because I have always been a mix of the 4 my whole life, I have all 9 criteria within the DSM-5. It just depends on what cycle I’m on throughout the day, and I would like more videos specifically on those that are like a Jack-Of-All-Trades when it comes to having all 4 subcategories on a loop throughout the day, with all 9 criteria activated that you’re unable to escape from.
Preach
agree im a mixture of all 4 at different times
This comes from the U.S. DMSV. The ICD XI is used worldwide and doesn’t differentiate
@@phoenixrisin2269 Elaborate what you mean by this?
Same
I'm a quiet bpd mainly but I have impulsive behavior, I'm self destructive and also fast moving emotions but i don't turn them at anyone. Just at myself.
Same here ❤
same here but like can i just be like this and not have bpd like im adhd and i share some traits between the two or is it not normal to direct all emotions in towards myself
Wow. Whole video has me sobbing and the 6th one was specifically corrected down to a T.
The shame is so intense.. I can and often feel like I'm drowning in my own embarrassment of myself.
Thank you for making this video. It's brief but so accurate and meaningful.
Same! It took me at least 30 mins to stop crying (self regulate)
I feel all of these symptoms and I have cptsd so please be careful self-diagnosing. A lot more goes into diagnosing
I know I have BPD for about 8 months now. I noticed in the Netherlands people are scared for BPD. Its stigmatized a lot. Its better not to talk about it. People treat you differently when you say you have bpd. But im still a person and that hurts a lot.
“I can’t control their fear, only my own!” - Scarlett Witch
That's sad 😢 I hope you find someone you can talk to about this stuff 🧡
I live in the Netherlands and I've noticed there is a lot of stigma on mental illness / disorders in general. Also gaslighting seems to be a very strong part in the Dutch pragmatic culture, where people think everything can be fixed with simple things like "Just go for a walk, you'll feel better. I always do" leaving you feeling misunderstood and less willing to open up next time. Good luck on your healing journey!
@@nikkiart5593 so true!
Stop bashing the Netherlands.
BPD, BiPD, ADHD, Depression, Narcissism, PTSD; all these conditions and disorders overlap a lot, how could psychologists and mental health professionals tell them apart?
Yes!!! This!!
They can't, which is why prominent researchers want to have the diagnosis "personally disorder with emphasis..."
BPD would likely be described by " personality disorder with emphasis Emotional disregulation".
@@kingsix2000 That is actually untrue. A simple case of ADHD is no were near BPD.. Imagine the case most people would then be BPD ? It doesn't make sense. Sure there common traits but even at the bachelor level we learn to disguish all of them. Mind you it isn't easy but once you get yhe jist you can see it more and more easily.
@@mst-pierrem5729 correct. But ADHD would not be part of personality disorders either.
Yes, BPD is a personality dissorder, others are not. I do have all of that as dissorders and traits haha.
She said FUCK IT. One of the reasons I love this channel. Real...
That’s a borderline for you. They easily make you believe they’re genuine when they’re everything except genuine
My mother was diagnosed with BPD. She was super abusive and scapegoated me. I can’t imagine her ever being vulnerable enough to admit she needs help. Instead, she became a therapist. She seems to enjoy having people put her on a pedestal. Sometime in my 40s I decided there was nothing I could do to stop the abuse aside from going no contact. The first couple of times I ended up talking to her again after a few months or a couple of years. But this time I have not spoken to her for 11 years and I hope I never see her again. I am slowly learning how to stop my compulsion to please people. Not everything is my fault or my responsibility. I have a great therapist, so I am really thankful for that because they can be hard to find.
Thank you for your videos, I love your content. ❤
I’m so proud of you! You didn’t let that tear you down💕. Happy you have a great therapist now too
I have BPD. I am FIGHTING to better myself bc I want my baby to have a good mom. ❤
@@BeaNeedsADrink I think that one BPD is really problematic is when people refuse to see their part in anything or be willing to admit that they might have a problem. That’s what I was dealing with. I think you’re doing better than my mother already, because you are aware of it and you’re interested in improving yourself and your life. 🙂
Good on you. I cut my BPD abusive mother out in 2015. We spoke again recently & guess what? She's as nasty, bitter & toxic as ever. They never change! I'm never speaking to her again. Life's too short. Stay strong 💟
Sounds narcissistic
@@Earthether, the symptoms overlap at times, as is such with Cluster-Bs. In my experience with PwBPD of various ages of exposing & length of "doing the hard work" of reprogramming their inner-child, the older & longer without appropriate therapy & homework, the more narcissistic defense mechanism.
Thank you Kati, the stigma is so strong that it even professionals treats us with tweezers. I hate when that happens, but I've learned to advocate for myself.
I was in a relationship with someone with severe BPD. It was Hell. I’d get thrown out of his house at 9 pm for just looking at him the wrong way. He was so irrational and impulsive. He was paranoid and so insecure thinking everyone hated him. He goes through relationships quickly. It’s a shame as he was a lot of fun and has potential. He wouldn’t go to counseling and probably never will.
Was he also my ex? Everything you wrote up until the being thrown out part was true for him, too. And the worst thing, he also dragged me down and made me go through very deep circles of mental anguish. I also have tendencies of bpd and his influence on me prove to be detrimental
Yep same🫣
It cracks me up when people with bpd or other cluster bs claim they have 'too much empathy'.LOL no empathetic person would treat a loved one so nicely then do a 180 and be so cruel, and do this regularly (unlike mood disorders episodes). It'd be fine if people with bpd, hpd, npd all dated within the cluster because they'd all understand one another and how awful it feels. But no, they need supply yet expect people to tolerate their cruel actions.
@@thebeach2525 I tell you what. I was never diagnosed but I strongly suspect that I have bpt or at least pretty severe abandonment issues. I do not date. anybody, at all. Because I know it would be hell not only for me but for them too and most people don't deserve to be dragged into something like this.
On the empathy part I think they confuse being empathetic toward another person with being overly anxious over what these others think or feel about THEM. And then use this as an excuse to their unhinged behaviour. So it's all about them after all
And if that’s the true story. You have extreme codependency and childhood wounding you need help for. Screw talking about him. Why not shine the spotlight on yourself as you ain’t going to have a healthy relationship with attracting that
It makes sense to think of personality disorders as adaptions from CPTSD. Taking into consideration their experiences, environments, relationships, and natural temperaments. I wish there were more studies done on siblings and personality disorders highlighting each parental relationship. One having BPD while the other has NPD, for example.
I appreciate your perspective here. I understand a lot about my mom’s upbringing and how it influences her BPD behavior.
My issue though, is that me being a girl (she wanted a boy) and having normal needs while I am growing up should not be considered a threat to her. I didn’t ask to be her child. There is more responsibility for her as a parent to get healthy than for me as a child to understand and be accommodating. She should not threaten suicide if she’s not getting her way on whatever arbitrary hill she chooses to die on (ranch dressing as veggie dip or which pants I prefer). Me, my dad, and my siblings (there are 9 of us) should not have to live in constant hypervigilance. I should not be made responsible for my younger siblings at age 9 (aka abandoned) for hours on end while she “goes to the grocery store” several times per week and endure physical/psychological/spiritual abuse on a daily basis.
Kudos to all people with BPD who are in therapy and work to improve their mental health and reduce the impact of their impulses and behaviors on others. You’re doing hard and worthwhile work. Keep going! ❤ Please don’t be like my mom.
Marsha Linehan is a hero for people suffering BPD ❤
Is she or is her DBT a way of brainwashing Traumatised people.
I found her very dangerous.
Each to their own .
I have never been more convinced that I have BPD than when listening to the thought process example 🤣
Same. I was like.... Ohhhhhh ohhh... There it is.... 😆
13:53 This hit so close to home I started bawling my eyes out, quiet BPD definitely sounds like me. Thank you for the content, Kati!
Thank you! As someone who was recently diagnosed and still unsure. The thought process really confirmed it for me.
Of course!! So glad I could help :) xoxo I have tons of other BPD videos too if you think they could help :) xoxo
This video just made me cry couple times because I felt being heard and seen…
Same here..
Can you make a video about having a ‘favorite person’ as someone with BPD?
It does not matter from where manipulative behavior originated, manipulation is any attempt to control the behavior of others to meet some unmet need.
Just because manipulation in borderline personality disorder is not malignant does not mean it’s not manipulation.
Second, untreated or under treated BPD can and dies result in harm to others. While I’m absolutely in favor of destigmatization, nobody should need to endure the kind of unhealthy relationships that result from BPD. Partners of people with BPD deserve love, respect and stability as much as those with BPD do. However, again, regardless where this instability originated, it’s unfair to expect their partners to maintain a relationship with anyone who is incapable of doing the same.
@@LuluDior4 unfortunately sometimes that’s not going to be enough. We can be compassionate and still do what’s best for ourselves.
Most, if not all, abusive behavior originated from mental illness and trauma. It’s almost always inadvertent and non-malignant.
But regardless of origin and motive we must protect ourselves from toxicity.
I was diagnosed with BPD last year, years after I started having symptoms, despite being in the mental healthcare system all that time. At first I didn't believe my nurse practitioner because all I knew about BPD was mostly stereotypes. Then I learned about quiet BPD and that fit like a glove.
I was diagnosed with BPD 2yrs ago. I felt so heard and also called out with this video, thanks Kati. I don’t want people to know my thought process cause the shame is so great. For me, to lessen the chances of people leaving me I had decided to not have friends and if I do it’s only superficial. I do find friendships to be incredibly overwhelming and suspect I may have autism as well (lots of other reasons as well).
Thank you, Kati, for speaking on BPD in such a way to lessen the stigma. ❤
Hi Kati, thank you so much for your channel and content! I’m about to enter graduate school for marriage and family therapy, and really appreciate you spreading knowledge about mental health through insightful and compassionate means. I wanted to specifically point out something I have noticed and appreciate about your delivery in videos: when describing an ailment, you use words like “we, our, us,” etc. which really struck me as a beautiful way to help the viewer not feel so alone in their pain. It’s so subtle, but really adds so much comfort to a person’s painful experiences. Thanks for sharing your knowledge and inspiring so many!
Outstanding, kind, compassionate video Kati.
Hey Kati,
First and foremost, thank you once again for taking the time to help us better understand a mental health topic. Your videos have helped me (and I am sure, so many others as well!) hold on to hope, which means the world.
I am very shy to reach out here, but maybe someone else could be in a similar situation and feel seen. After 3+ yrs seeing her, I have just been diagnosed (during an appointment, last week) by my psychiatrist with a Personality Disorder. She didn't mention BPD specifically, but the way she interacted with me, and also how my therapist (to whom she interacted) talks to me or brings up certain things during our weekly sessions make me believe that BPD is actually what they both have in mind. Since my appointment, I feel terrible. I don't understand how my psychiatrist could tell me that hard truth saying that she wanted to bring me some hope by doing it. Not to mention the shame I feel considering I might have BPD, I feel like a fraud - I don't recognize myself a lot in the different characteristics of this disorder. This brings me to ask you this: Can someone have BPD even if: A. They don't experience those intense "mood swings"? (I can't remember the last time I felt "good". If my mood changes, it only goes from bad to very bad...) B. Have not even had something traumatic in the past, and have grown up in a loving family? C. Don't feel any anger? (except towards myself, I never experience this emotion)
Thank you once again. I hope you can keep for yourself at least a little of all the light you are spreading around you. You deserve it, too. Take care xx (P.S. I am sorry for my bad English writing. I am not quite great at expressing myself, especially in this second language of mine. I tried my best.)
Kati i was crying throughout the entire video because everything you said is so true and so accurate thank you for making this video. wished my family had watched it....
your example in 6 was so spot on, audible expressions of awe. like how are you in my head.
This video was much needed. Thank you Kati, you are awesome
When diagnosed back in the 90s no one had heard or talked about it. I am thankful there is more information available today.
heaven forbid anyone have compassion for the borderline... thank you for your compassion, you are brave and I appreciate your video
Ive been diagnosed since 2019 and watching this video omg. I felt like you were talking directly to me and about me. Not even in a negative way. Very informative. Much appreciated.
Thank you Kati. Found you last week. Starting therapy next week. Really appreciate you.
I needed this. Thank you
I’ve self-diagnosed so many times as my therapist refuses to give me a diagnoses whatsoever. So I have it all.
Well what you have describing with the four different types a BPD, is the majority of people interacted with within my family and community.
I grew out of it because I learned how to control myself and worked on understanding why I felt this way. Only a couple of my family members did the same thing. Most of the others stayed trapped in these behaviors.
Your explanation really helped he realized that I was not being over dramatic seen this in my family and community. That these are real behaviors and are not normal.
I can relate very much so. Kind of good to know I'm not alone. Thankyou for your content ❤
Boosting for the algorithm 🙌 Love your work, keep it up! 🌻🐝
Aww thank you :) xoxox
The example is so spot on for me.
Wow this blew my mind on how accurate this is for me.
You just explained how i feel in the most perfect words.
Im saving this video. Thankyou so much your amazing ♡
Thank you, Kati. You always explain things in a way that is easy to understand. Thank you for everything you do. Love from NYC
You are so welcome!
Kati I really appreciate you making this video to help spread awareness of bpd, it took a lot of courage to talk about your struggles and vulnerabilities openly on here. Thanks for sharing your experiences
My gf has eupd and complex ptsd amongst a few other things. I love her with all my heart! Question is, would she appreciate me sending her this video? I think what you do and how you explain things makes you one of the best therapists on earth.
Thanks for posting! Many of us can fluctuate between traits of all, but identify more with one type than the other.
I feel like my symptoms overlap with all types in some way. Being diagnosed with borderline was made worse by seeing see how others view it, only because they've met one person with it they think everyone is the same. I've never felt so understood when being diagnosed with BPD though because I've been looking for something that describes my struggle for years
Thank you for all the BPD videos that you make. I have BPD, among other mental conditions. I have quit therapy many times, and I am on pause from therapy. I thought that I could manage my symptoms on my own, but it's becoming more difficult as the days go by.
Thank you for everything you do Kati
This is overall one of the spot on best videos that I have seen on BPD. Factual, informative and compassionate. Thank you so very much. This literally saved my life this morning ❤
Hi Kati 😊 The last example you described is so spot on for me. I have ruined a few friendships because of this. It totally sucks!! But thank God I am seeing a fantastic therapist who is helping me tremendously 😊 Have a great day 🤗💕
I am fairly certain that my former friend had BPD. The sad part about this disorder is they sabotage so badly that maintaining friendships is really hard. The damage got to be so bad that I had to put in some pretty airtight boundaries with her. That resulted in her feeling so rejected that she just kicked us out of her life. It’s one of the more devastating things, to be on the receiving end of that type of response. But I feel even worse for her that she has lost so many good people as a result of being unwilling to address that issue in her life. I hope everybody with BPD is able to find a really good support network and system and get access to therapy that will help them recover and heal. All of you whom live and struggle with this, deserve so much joy and happiness and I’m praying that you find all the tools and resources you need to access the most beautiful parts of yourself and not have to fight so hard to let that out. Please don’t give up. Please keep going ❤❤❤
Excellent video!!!
this is so good. Thank you.
Thanks Kati have BPD, i have found identification with the illness is key to working through, i have impulses to drink but since ive started AVRT its helped alot
I really love how respectfully blunt you put how we feel as patients with BPD while still validating our problems. We still must take responsibility for our actions but you validate the pain that unfortunately, generally leads to these actions. As someone with BPD, it's an artform.
Thank you. This is the man I’ve been w for 3 years. Roller coaster. I didn’t call him back while I was out of town one night. This was 7 weeks ago. He’s still acting stand of fish. Not rejecting me. But aloof. Like he’s mad at me. But won’t tell me.
You know how hard it is for me to attempt to explain BPD. Thank u for this.❤
Super helpful. Thank you
I really appreciate all of the time you spend creating content about BPD.
If you don't mind me asking, I'm curious what fascinates you about this topic so much and why you're able to speak so empathetically about it when stigmatization is so normalized?
Girl I never felt more understood ❤
Diagnosis are so vague and overlapping. Cptsd, bpd, other attachment problems, sometimes adhd..
And Autism, many autistics (particularly women) were misdiagnosed with BPD before they "discovered" that women could have Autism. So, I agree with you. The whole DSM system is frogged. I was raised in a cult (escaped long ago) and there is something very cult-like about the psychologists/psychiatrist/therapist system (and their faith in their "bible" despite continual horrific misdiagnoses year after year). Be careful out there.
I was unaware of BPD. Thanks for the information. I know it now. Everybody should know it so that people behavior can be more generous.
i feel so called out with #6
The book that I found way back in the 80s that clued me in to my partner was called “I hate you don’t leave me”.
I read that book so many times.
Thank you for this
My pleasure!
HOLY CHICKEN MOLY. #6 is SO spot on. This is the exact cycle, I experience. I’ve definitely been practicing, to do better. However, also, I have become quite perceptive and on high-alert, for those who are avoidants - and deciphering their behavior, from my own.
Sup baby 😂
I relate most to types 1 and 4. Difficult as it is, and even though I'm not in treatment, I'm grateful for the BPD aspect of my diagnosis.
So happy to see more up to date videos of bpd can we have eupd too please ❤
I keep those with BPD at arm's length. They’re annoying to deal with, and the way they operate in extremes is maddening to handle.
That's not cool at all, we never asked to have this shit, sit back you never know what can happen to you, SMDH, good way to keep stigmas in place
You hang around heart patients, or do they scare u because they can have heart attacks, I tell ya
@@LuluDior4 Everyone has the right to choose what kind of people they want or do not want in their life. I find it childish to force people into accepting bad behavior and attitudes.
We all go through that stage, and in my case, allowing bad attitudes gave me lots of headaches, which is why I keep such people at arm’s length.
No amount of shaming or criticism will make me change my mind. Stop pushing personal preferences on others, that ain't gonna work on me.
@ChrisPTY507 it's not " bad behavior " it's an illness like anything else! It's in the brain & the brain controls ALL organs, again the stigma thing
You need more education, obviously
#stopthestigma #mentalhealthmatters #openyourminds
@@LuluDior4 Everyone has the right to choose what kind of people you want or not want in your life. I find it childish the act of forcing people into accepting bad behaviour and attitude.
We all go through that stage and in my case of course that allowing bad attitudes gave me lots of headaches, which is why I keep them at arm’s length.
No amount of shaming or critiques will make me change my mind. Stop pushing personal preferences on others.
it can't be easy. I've got the quiet type but have been fortunate enough to work with it enough to find satisfaction with my slice of reality. of course I'm really good at being alone but who said everyone must be normal, what a boring world it would be if it were so. my heart goes out to those who struggle under its weight, it's a lot to work through.
Loved these facts, would you be willing to do a video about how therapists are able to spot and diagnose bpd?
Also, here are the 10 signs of quiet BPD (& more BPD videos): czcams.com/video/4uix8HHzPag/video.html
Thank You 🙏🏼 😭…. I’ve had so much traumas in my past that it effects my current issues with Thé people I love so much! Abandonment & Rejection issues….
It’s a very debilitating problem to have…. I’ve lost so many loved ones cuz of it. It hurts me that I hurt others so very much? And no matter what? They don’t believe me that I have bpd. It gets mistaken for Narcissism often to…. & my Mother has it ten times worse….i grew up in it 😔
I miss the people I pushed away cuz of bpd & depression; add being Trans to, to it…. 🤦🏻♀️
I don't know if I have BPD or if it's just my CPTSD creating similar symptoms I have most of the symptoms except my fear of abandonment is a bit different I don't act anxious or whatever I instead just completely avoid people it's not like I need to do everything I can to stop the abandonment it's like of course you abandoned me that's the logical choice because I'm shit and and you deserve better than having to tolerate my existence I avoid relationships and friendships and anything like that because it's like why would anyone wanna hang out with me I don't even wanna hang out with me but I do have fear how I'm perceived and judged getting any criticism or hate can cause me to spiral doing anything I can to try and fix it even when I know I'm just making it worse my sense of self is so dependent on what other people think of me someone compliments me I think I'm actually kind of OK somebody criticizes me even something normal and I immediately feel like I'm horrific and need to die like splitting but only about myself if that makes any sense
I have quiet BPD and man I swear it sucks!! But knowing the why is SO helpful.
Woah...#6 is literally what I think very often. I am not diagnosed but it just rang true.
This was excellent thank you. Push pull of relationship gets tested everyday. Very complicated if the relationship is with identical twins. One twin diagnosis with BPD other not, which is questionable? Excellent example of situations that you gave.
Wow #6 felt that one to the core
thank you there is alot of stigma about bpd 💐
My counselor loves to work with bpd folks. i don't have it but it came up once. People are so misinformed about bpd. I hope it gets better
I’ve got BPD , along with other mental illnesses & learning difficulties. I don’t think you can get rid of it. Any mental illness or terminal or chronic physical illnesses will never go but for most people things will calm them down wity something they love doing/enjoy etc at times when there not having a severe episode. It’s the most misunderstood illness but yet it’s the hardest to deal with, because your all on your own, just you, your brain, your heart. I got my daughter taken of me without having a chance of been with her alone or with my careers because I’ve got mental illness. Soical workers/other professionals clearly thinks everyone with mental illnesses is dangerous to baby’s & children. That in its self should get childrens services put where they belong, in a cell, LONELY, SCARED & DISTRESSED. They ruins lives & don’t even feel sorry. They ruin parents lives & childrens.
I am both intrigued and concerned I can easily see many of these symptoms in myself and a lot of people i know 🤔
How about this. 15 year old girl with BPD leaves the family and it’s been away for a year.
They put her through the terapies after a nerve break down and she seem to be gone for good. Tonsnof therapies, inpatient care, group home with dialectrical behaviour therpaies and she seems worse to her parents.
She quit the school, doesnt have anyone around her from previous life. She abandoned everyone and got social assistance to live alone. Therapist apperently said she is fine to live alone. Insane!! Now she is 16!!
I was diagnosed BPD in the military. I abandoned treatment before we got too much into it for fear of how it would jeopardize my career. I do lash out and I know I do but I do whatever I can to prevent this the tug of war in my head.
Also, one thing that always bugged me is that despite my diagnosis and really understanding a lot about the disorder and how it aligns with me, I have the opposite than a fear of abandonment. I repel any and all, I have no real friends, I have no social media footprint past 2008. I avoid any work functions I possibly can. I maybe converse with my mother and sister once a month.
Despite being married my wife is well aware of what I am. We do get along very well. But I do catch myself keeping her at arm's length. However, I am also a pain patient with a lower back issue, nerve damage, and tilted/cracked L5. So how much of that is pain vs BPD.
Edit: I wrote this before fact #5. Now finishing the rest, it makes more sense.
I feel ya on this. Still trying to figure out how to stop pushing others away when I am in pain. However less personal connections means less complications, etc.
I’m diagnosed with adhd and autism, but have felt something was very wrong and that they didn’t fit my struggles.
I just now started researching quiet bpd and it explains all the things I’ve struggled and been shamed off for so long
I’m going to talk to a new therapist soon and this time I’ll be 100% honest instead of lying about everything, now that Ik it’s prob not cause I’m a horrible person.
The first therapist who diagnosed me with Bpd didn't tell me my diagnosis for a long time specifically to prevent my getting bad outdated information and becoming discouraged... Turns out this was a good call, as the first thing I did in the pre Google days was go to the library and read how hopeless the situation was and how toxic and unmanageable we were and that therapists should avoid treating Bpd patients as it was a waste of time and even toxic to the therapist... I'm glad by the point I read this I had enough trust in my therapist to talk with her about what the diagnosis really meant and what it didn't. I still fight some of the same battles as I did all those years ago but I usually win now, after taking responsibility for my own learning growing and healing and continuing to get help and resources along the way. If I can lead a largely healthy happy life with BPD CPTSD and the remnants of what was once severe and crippling agoraphobia due to prolonged narcissistic abuse, anyone willing to do the work can. Love to all still feeling like a train wreck, I still feel it sometimes, but big picture I can look back and be proud now how far I've come.
I don't know you but I'm proud of you too
@@beat4224 aww, ty! Made my day 🤗
Nice to meet you.
Doing DBT now. It is helping a lot.
Question, so if a key symptom is fear of abandonment, do you think every adoptee has BPD?
I am adopted at 18 months old. As a young adult one clinic wanted to misdiagnose me with BPD because I'm adopted. I didn't fit all criteria so they eventually couldn't but they were convinced anyway. Both my therapists, with whom I had been for years, did NOT diagnose me with BPD. I do have developmental trauma and depression.
As an adoptee, abandonment is real. Can you imagine a greater loss than losing your mother at such a young age? And then not even getting the chance to mourn your loss!
If your mother dies as a child normally you have pictures and you talk about it, but for adoptees the experience is surreal. The new family is so happy while the child is in mourning and angry, but the feelings usually are not co-regulated for adoptees. We are not supposed to feel this way. Instead our experience is diminished and we're told to be grateful 🙄
Of course, we fear abandonment. It's a natural reaction to our start in life. And it doesn't matter if it's at birth or 1 year or older, the loss is real for every adopted child!
[I don't mean this derogatory in any way regarding BPD. Not at all. I just didn't want a wrong diagnosis and I think (and have the experience from talking to many other adoptees) that adoptees are misdiagnosed a lot.]
I've got family members who fit the BPD. From my personal experience with them, they are liars, manipulaters, backstabbing, and all around difficult to relate with. After 57 years dealing with them, keeping the peace at my own expense, I am done! I can't with them anymore. The harm and damage they cause......I had to focus on my own mental well-being and eliminating them from my life was necessary for my own healing.
I'm sorry you experienced this. Living with people who have no awareness or desire to get better can be so damaging. It seems to be such a cycle, too - one person is abused who abuses another, and then that person abuses a third, and so on. I am glad you got out of there. I wish you continued healing.
@@mason74551 thank you. The abuse is horrid, even as an adult living on my own, minding my business, my half-sister, 3 years younger than me, has gotten our father to verbally and emotionally abuse me still with her lies. She fooled her therapists with her lies. She has been going to psychiatrist and psychologists her entire adult life. She is overly medicated and medicated for the wrong things. She claims that she was diagnosed with Bipolor. Ah, that would be a big fat nope! I know what Bipolor looks like. My daughter was diagnosed with that 12 years ago, and she is near perfect on her medication.
Love the channel BTW. U have a great way of explaining complex things in an accessible way not many can! ❤
The manipulative portion is something that hurts me the most because I have nothing but good intentions. I wish I found a friend like me.
I felt exactly the same 😢
I have recently realized that something is terribly wrong with me. And the impulsive one honestly sounds A LOT like me. I actually really scared now.
I for sure can attest to the fact that I can relate to more than just 1 of the 4 distinct BPD types. I often keep swinging from one type to other or show signs of multiple types at once. Not sure where I stand now
Oh gosh that example at the end sounds just like me 😮
My ex had BPD. She self injured a lot. We broke up for good in 2007. Heard the other day she committed suicide in 2012. So sad.
Oh my goodness that’s terrible. I have an ex that I spent off and on of course, around 10 years with. We reconnected for a short time, not too long ago, but I had to cut the connection. They are so charming and they can play the part for a while, but then the truth always comes out. Luckily, we were just connectingacross the miles this time.
This is so true that it makes me want to cry 😭 it's not like what is portrayed in Hollywood and it is used as such a stigmatizing slam on people which makes the fear of abandonment even worse - the very reason why we do these things in the first place. Trying so hard to break the cycle and trust people. And not all bipolar people are violent though I have seen some. The one caveat is it at least now that we can understand it somewhat, address it and find healthy coping mechanisms. 😊