Adult Friendships | Break-ups, Drama, Making Real Friends w/ Thandi Gama
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- čas přidán 29. 08. 2024
- Hello hunies, Thandi and I talk friendships - DRAMA, FRENEMIES, TOXICITY and finding real and trusting friendships.
Let me know your experience and dealing with friendship situations - shady friends, finding true best friends, real sisterhood, or two-faced 'better than thou' friends. Let me know in the comments❤️
Let's connect on socials:
Thandi's IG: @thandigama.
My Tiktok & IG: @yolzchannel
#Frenemies #FriendshipDrama #RealFriends
Believe it or not , I’m halfway through this video and I have already reached out to my estranged friends. As a married woman with young kids, i realised that I won’t have a sisterhood if I’m not intentional about it.❤
Yes Girl, be authentic all the way 💕💝
Same here
Girl, I lost sisterhood because I was busy in my family building stage and my friends were on the partying every weekend life and was expected to be there while I had small kids. I miss them but I see that I cannot reach out to them now, because I'm still building my family, I honestly do not have the energy to nature our relationships
Tjo, this is so beautiful to hear. I’m so proud of you babe
Thandi is so gentle, love her aura❤
She is so gentle❤️
I love how you’ve described her, yho ♥️
So much ❤️
I love Yolz collaborations honestly. She is the queen of Truth, honesty and colabs ❤
Thank you so much🥺❤️
Thandi is very right, friends will give men chances even after cheating but women will right off their female besties. I have learnt to take myself out of any toxic friendships that do not serve me. I have no regrets about losing those friendships and I do not want to mend them. I am in a place where I am content with myself and I value me as my own best friend first.
This video was nice to watch 😍 actually enjoyed this conversation so much ❤
Aw, I’m glad my babe❤️
I love how you listen to each other as you share. She matters, you matter. You see her, she sees you.
Listening to Thandi speak is so soothing. I was so happy when Thandi spoke about your kindness it’s more like she is giving you your flowers whilst you are still alive, I know she was calling you out, at the same time she was shining light in who you really are. Draw those boundaries babe to protect yourself, I wish you nothing but all the best. Smooches to the both of you😘😘😘😘
🥺🥺Thank you❤️
It’s so funny how you go through a friendship breakup and you don’t expect it to hurt as much as a romantic relationship. Trust me friendship breakups are the pits. It hurts hard. You end up finding yourself dropping tears and it’s weird that you commit without telling yourself that you are actually doing that. So when it starts hurting it takes you by surprise. It’s actually that deep hey! ##forgive, find closure and heal🦋
Absolutely
Wish I could "like" this a thousand times. Friendship breakup is the worst!!!
Yolz sounds like she's hurting from a friendship breakup. I also feel that she needed to have this conversation more than Thandi did, if that makes sense. Thank you both for sharing.
After this conversation I decided to reach out to someone I had a terrible break up with... And I know it was both of us on the wrong. This conversation gives me confidence to approach them. I hope everything goes well.. I hope we both open up to each other and say everything we needed to. Even if we don't get back together but I'm hoping we forgive each other. Thank you for this conversation Yolz and TG. So insightful! ❤️
Aaw babe, all the very best❤️
I wish I had your strength
Inspired to do the same, though I'm so hesitant 🥹😰
Me too, but I’ve reached out to this person about 3 times after our friendship breakup, but she never got back to me. Wonder if I should reach out for the very last time
@@desha08 give her some time, she will definitely come around
At this point in time , I don’t have friends and Im starting to think that maybe its okay and maybe Im selfish but Im realizing that friendships require alot and sometimes your just not able to give that and thats okay
I hear you, I'm currently in that phase of naturing my little family and don't have a capacity to give more at the moment and that is ok
Love this comment and it resonates with me so much. Also in past friendships is used to give all of myself and it rarely got reciprocated.
I couldn't agree more with this point actually....I lost most of my friendships because I wasn't sharing enough of my life with them🤦🏽♀️..
Thank you Yolz and Thandie for this beautiful sit down. I went through something with a friend last year...or so I thought. We just suddenly stopped talking and I also was in my head trying to think of things I might have done to offend her but I didn't have the energy to ask her.
And when she sent me the coldest happy birthday message to me that was confirmation that whatever it is, is my fault but said to myself I'm gonna keep my peace and not ask her.
Literally about 2 weeks back she called me, I watched the phone ring and didn't answer. A few minutes later I sent her a message that I'd call her back. And I did , it's important to communicate because she also thought she had done me wrong and asked what happened. She was shocked when I said I thought you were mad at me for something...turns out it was nothing guys. We talked it out, I'm grateful for her because she was the big person...pride will destroy you guys because we could have sorted things out a long time ago, had I picked up my phone and called her because I thought about her all the time.
I had to break up with a friend early this year, we'd been friends for something like 5 years🥺,
I felt so peaceful doing so,and I came to a realization that not everyone who comes in your pretty life is for a lifetime thing,some people are brought through for a reason or a season ❤️❤️🤗
Absolutely. I’m glad you guys ended it amicably❤
Girl I relate! That girl put me through so much😂😂😂😂😂
Real friendships never feel like oversharing!! Tjo Thandi🙌🏾👌🏾
Amen❤️
In nowadays its Rare to find true friend..in my era I'm so afraid to trust anyone 😔 because of trauma I faced in my first Friendship break up, I'm so Happy you've found one
Thandi I feel like you’ve such a GREAT heart; you wear your heart on your sleeve. Yet life keeps reminding you to GUARD your pure heart!. Trust God to protect you from wolves even as heart breaking as it is. You’ll be okay sis ❤
Agreed Bitso
I find comfort in shared mgowo Shem , knowing that I’m not alone cuz I’m always losing friends but at some point I realised I am also the bad friend . You guys are so soft and kind to each other , nifanelene maan ❤… I relate to the advice Thandi gave you at the end cuz I’m always that person who’s available for everyone but no one is there for me …. I’m trying to set boundaries on that part
Guys you like therapist in this vlog sana.. Im crying at 2:00AM..
Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge and wisdom... Ive learn so much. 🙏
Hahahahahah watching it this late too and am loving this conversation. Mature and highly convicting. Some friendship breakups be so deep that you actually mourn the loss. And even though you know the relationship has run its course, you are grateful for the seasons you got to experience with them.
Aaw🥺
This is me today 😢 crying at 1am
Yolenda's honesty and authenticity is what keeps me coming back to watch.
She's a beautiful person
Same
I said what Thandi said during a friendship break up back in varsity. We are so quick to let go of friendships more than romantic relationships. We talked about our differences last year but obviously a lot has changed.
I had to drop a quick “like” as soon as I saw my faves. I’ll be back to watch after I put a toddler to sleep. Also, when do we stop calling them toddlers? Love you Yolz. Love you Thandi.
Because this friendship was kept so ptivate, people actually think its new and that's understandable... I don't think anything will happen to you guys man cause you both so gentle and don't have the " I am the beyonce" syndrom. I don't really have friends, I lost my 2 friends because whenever I am going through stuff I isolate so I feel like my friends felt some type of way about that❤❤❤ hopefully I can learn how to not isolate when Im going through difficult situations in my life and I ask for assistance
You should just let them know you need space because you are not well and you are not ready to speak about it
I am Thandi Gama and Thandi Gama is me. I'm BIG on communication but I always get friends who don't like communicating and it's so hard because someone either gets offended easily even when you're trying to articulate your feelings respectfully and calmly but they just become defensive. Others don't even want to communicate, let's just put under the carpet and keep it moving and that thing is so painful. I really wish that people can really take time and heal from their childhood traumas because that is where everything stems from honestly.
I love Thandi... something about her energy that's so calming 💜
I really enjoyed this sit down. The maturity really resonated with me. We really have to do better as Thandi said with our friendships. Extend grace to our friends the same way we do in romantic relationships. And I agree Yolz! The apology must be as extravagant!!!
Love the content, I had to make a decision to let go of things and people who take a piece of my peace. It's all work in progress because I take things personally without addressing the elephant in the room. I ghost people instead of confronting the problem. I struggle with being a person who reaches out to people who don't see a reason to reach out to me. I found people I can talk to without the filters of being neglected as a friend. Now I have fewer friends and I protect my peace.
There are friends that don’t deserve closure because you deeply know their character.
Mmmh..
I love this topic ey…. I got cut off last year by a friend …we had been friends for about 16 years ey… I was wrong n I apologized so many times…. And I guess she took the decision to let me go… I asked for a meet up to apologize n explain in person n said Shz buzy… I then decided that it’s okay i cnt force a friendship
Healing process differ with everyone, so if she would want to reach out she will. I hope you find peace irrespective of the outcome.
I enjoy your authenticity Yolz and Thandi. Friendships are hard.
It is painful to lose a friendship but the truth is we are growing & learning soo much ❤❤
Yep it part of growth
She even prays for her 🥹❤️. I love you Yolz
I needed this tbh. I have had a lot of falling offs with a lot of friends that were so dear to me, some I have forgiven and they forgave me too and chiiiillleee we've been kicking it off. Others want nothing to do with me and just last week when I had put the past behind me I was triggered by something that someone who had gotten in the mix said. I was infuriated by the fact that they were told these awful things about me a while ago yet chose not to tell me and here I was sharing so much of myself with them, they were always smiling on my face while they had this perception of what they knew me as based off of the conversation they had of me with my estranged friends. But it's whatever, I'm not going to let it hold me back and take up so much of my energy ⚡ and change something that I have worked so hard to get myself out of. I loved this and I could relate to so much that Sis Thandi said to and about boundaries, that's the one thing I struggle with and also I'm always told I'm too kind and so people take that for weakness and they can always come to me for whatever help they need then drop me like a hot potato when they are done. Healing takes time and I wish that for everyone, love 😍 light ⚡and positive vibes💕, bless 💚 💛 ❤️ y'all.
Sena worry because nyani sometimes nguwe orongo ku Acrinomy, yeap umntu needs to do some introspection sana. Thank you for this Yolz ♥️♥️♥️
This conversation was so good! The Holy Spirit convicted me so much! Thank you for this Yolz & Thandi.
I know some will see it as over spiritualising things, but the devil will bait you to lose people who will leave with a part of you. friendships should be a prayer point the same way we pray for spouses!
I went through so many friendship break ups after giving birth it's a little weird but I'm also glad we're no longer friends. From a distance I'll always love them but I also realized we're better off apart. friendship break ups are really the pits. I love thandi 's aura I don't think one need to know her personally to see she's genuine, just like yolz. I didn't know you guys are friends, so glad. wishing y'all more blessings ❤️🎉
Aaw, I’m glad you have closure on your break-ups❤️
She is truly a gem. Thank you💕
I love how authentic and friendly you are Yolz .. on and off CZcams
Thank you so much🙏🏽❤️
Enjoyed every moment of this collab, my first friendship break-up is probably over 3 years and still hurts as bad as a relationship breakup 😅🤦♀️but I’m sure one day I’ll heal.
I'm here for Thandi Gama🎀💞🤸🏾♂️🔥🧨.
Yolz has always been our pillar.❤️
Aaw, siyabonga❤️
Thandi is mature and i love her❤️❤️❤️❤️
She really is❤️
Yoh this video got me in my feels 😢, it’s been over 10 years since I went through a terrible group friendship breakup and it traumatised me so much I still struggle making friends ( didn’t realise how traumatised I am) 😢
I pray you heal 🙏🏿
Deep conversation about friendship 👌🏻 communication is key
Those friendship Breakups be hurting just as bad as a Relationship breakup.
Okay before this video I didn’t know that you guys are friends. I’m not really active on Instagram. BUT this friendship makes perfect sense! I would’ve actually guessed so- that you guys have been friends for awhile. Not surprised at all. Your aura matches to the T. Much love ❤️
Thank you so much for this sisters, Communication is everything.Thank you
The truth in this!! thank you so much for sharing and the honesty
Man😍😍😍😍y’all just sat on my precise sentiments about relationships in general nje and particularly friendships.❤❤❤loved every bit of it and got challenged more as well.
Than you so much
I’m so glad hunie
You it's so hard to make friends as adults. Thank you for this conversation, I realized recently that I have friendship trauma. But I also want to have meaningful friendships.
TG gang❤❤❤
Thandi and Yolz have soothing voices ❤
Thank you for this Yolz, I had a friendship break up 2 years ago. Two weeks ago I reached out to her because I came back to my senses and I missed her so much. She opened up about how the breakup made her feel and she was hurt, and I feel bad cos I always thought she was okay. We apologized to each other, I wish we could be friends again but it seems like it won't happen 😢. But it's okay 🥺 I'm glad we spoke
Sorry but it's been 2 weeks give it time
Aibo quality of this video??! ✨✨✨Anisebahle😍
Thank you❤️
I enjoy listening to Yolz and I’ve recruited my mom😅to watch her videos as well..she enjoys them. Yolz you’re kind and sweet…so authentic. I remember another video I watched in Siza’s channel ( celebrating a birthday I think) that was beautiful 🙌🏾🙌🏾. With regards to friendships it’s not always about the length of friendship that matters but the positive impact or value it adds, though it won’t always be roses.
Thank you so much ❤️
Yolz you and mpumi have been giving PR answers regarding what happened.why le SA bue nnete . Christians mara le palla ke go bua nnete . both of you recently attended the same event le a bua?
The advice Thandi gave you was exactly what I thought when you asked her the question
I love these ladies so graceful and genuine. I'm soo grateful I had the opportunity to their pedicures for this video ❤❤
I actually thought of this colab this other day when I saw you on her vlog!
Let me relax and get to enjoy!
Enjoy❤️
This chat is everything, Yolz pls learn to set boundaries babes, 😂😂that’s a hard one, I’m on that journey cz people do squeeze every bit out of us 😂, and Thandi is so right hey❤❤❤
Girl it’s a hard pill to swallow indeed. But it has to be done
I am also on that journey and it feels so great but hard
this video hits so deep for me Yolz. Its been 10months since my friendship break up,but it still hurt when i think how it ended
I’m so sorry love. Sending love & hugs❤️
Set boundaries! 👏🏻👏🏻
I recently lost a friend of over 7 years. At first I tried reaching out till I realised that I'm the one always reaching out and a friendship shouldn't be like that. My friend couldn't even be there for me on one of the most important days in my life. The next thing i noticed she deleted my number and I basically decided to love her from a distance and find myself again.
We grow with such conversations, we not only gain wisdom but courage to be confident in our truths.
Love what Thandi said about how we tend to treat friendships Vs romantic relationships...ei
This video made me reach out to my best friend. It made me realize how important sisterhood is
Well done ladies, these topics are so hard to have but very necessary
Amen❤️
"Singabi ku Defining please" 😂😂❤️ enjoyed this
Thandi you are preaching please!!! 👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿
She is!!
Yolz and Thandi I reached out to my friend and told her how I felt and yho weight lifted and feel like strengthened our friendship thank you Yolz and Thandi communication is key
I love and respect Thandi so much 😍❤️😘she's a real one
It’s “you can have all the chocolates for me “🥺🥺❤️
Literally in tears had a friendship broke up to my primary school friend because she said something about my child after giving birth
🤗🤗🤗
In my early twenties, I love this conversations. I'd recommend people my age to watch more of this content.
Thank you ladies ❤❤❤
You’re welcome love
I’ve lost some good friendships and now in my late 20s i am finding it sooo hard to make friends😢.
Take it one day at a time hun. Reflect, heal and be open to new friends❤️
As I go and subscriber to Thandi's channel...I loved this segment more than the marriage one
Thandi is a wise woman. So mature.❤️ Yolz you are a vessel. Keep shinning 💐
Hi yolz you guys seem like such healthy friends i love to see this it's such a struggle navigating friendship in adult life but i absolutely love to see this
I agree in that we need to give our girlfriends as much grace as we extend to the men in our lives. We're quick to forgive them and not our friends. Loved this conversation.
Thandi's voice is soothing, and calm...which makes the topic a joy to listen to❤❤
I share the same values as Thandi. The more she talks the more I’m like yessssss!! Something I’d also say
Thandi!!!!!!!! How are you so eloquent?? I loved this. Thank you Yolz!
Faves😍 What a beautiful, relaxing, insightful video❤️
I knew you were gonna drop them 💣s and I was so scared to listen,I have been ignoring this video for a while because this topic eish🤕, until I had to gather some courage and show up, and all I want to say is thank you so much, it was so refreshing and insightful, I have learned a lot from you two. I appreciate your authenticity 🥰❤
Thandi please bring back the pink gown 🤣🤣🤣🤣 if you know, YOU KNOW 🤣🤣
Beautiful video 😍
Aah Yolz ❤. You and Thandi have grown so much, I remember the first video of you two when you introduced her to us your audience. That influenced by video made me follow her❤
Aaw, time flies neh?
Yoh Thandi, that advise about setting boundaries 😢.
It hit hard neh?
@@YolzChannel I’m still struggling with it.
It was meant for me more than it was for Yolz
the question about having ever stopped talking to a friend lmao, i hv to confess that my mind went axactly where u though it went lmao. love love loved this conversation so much. adult friendships are quite tricky bandla yuuuuuu
Yolz we’ll always be like mmmmmmmmh, mmmmmmmmh😂😂😂😂😂😂
This is true😂
This friendship makes sense
I'm here because of Simz and I'm loving every minute of this video❤😍
Thank you Yolz for this looks like a lot of us needed this u know. The trauma word eish that's deep Thandi dealing with our traumas ,I think I was too judgemental with my friends during our breakup I lost 3 close friends last year it was tough esp with the 2 I'm learning to be less judgemental to everyone in my life and myself,we need friendship lessons for real we are under educated there lol having the space away from my friends has really been good for me though
So deep 😢 friendships are tricky. It’s safe to say I’m happier alone
I respect you guys so much. The maturity in this video
I love Yolz ferminity, the calmness and softness she ozee's. You're my HUN Girlfriend 💕
Simz Right brought me here....I appreciate this conversation🥰
Here for all of it ❤
Aaww! Yay!
This deserves more than just a massive thumbs up 👍 I really enjoyed watching it 👌💯
Lord knew how much i needed to hear this conversation.Thank you
Anisebahle bethuna 😍😍😍
This was so beautiful to watch 😍please we want more 🥰❤️
Thruth elaphaaa thanks for bringing Thandi ❤ 😍
You had good times! True that!
Loved everything about this conversation.Thandi thank you so much for speaking about being good at communicating.Loved it♥️
She went in hey!
@@YolzChannelShe really did.
Love you Yolz♥️😭