Living Abroad Problems Sainthavi's Perspective
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- čas přidán 27. 08. 2024
- Americala என்ன டா வாழ்க்கை இது! | Sainthavi's Perspective on Living Abroad | Can you relate? Join me in exploring the multifaceted experiences of living abroad and discover if you can relate to the joys and challenges shared in this enlightening vlog. From cultural immersion to homesickness, I offer a candid perspective on the expat journey, inviting viewers to reflect on their own experiences and connect with fellow global citizens. Whether you're an expatriate, a traveler, or simply curious about life abroad, this vlog serves as a platform for empathy, understanding, and shared experiences.
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Sainthavi's Perspective on Living Abroad | Can you relate? Let me know..
100% true same feeling here in UK
ஆனாலும் யாரும் திரும்பி வர விரும்பறதில்ல 😊
Honestly if someone comes here @21-22 for Master’s and starts adapting to this lifestyle, life in US is much better in terms of infrastructure, work culture, quality of life etc. I am unable to adapt to Indian lifestyle for more than 2 weeks during any of my trips in these last 15 years.
Exactly, when they are single. Coming with responsibility of taking care of others humans we created is hard to balance in the longer run.
Thank you for watching my videos
True. That’s why even 1 kid is a luxury these days. I won’t be surprised if we see times when the next gen avoid child making completely.
Best is for both the spouses to earn a decent fortune before 40, pay off the home mortgage and do some light work just for covering bills and insurance until 60.
dont mean to be rude here!! but i feel everybody needs to experience life here to know if they like it or not. Many have advised me against american life but no body came back to india they have only proceeded to become citizens. They keep telling relatives and friends not to dream of american life. But never make a choice to choose back to india. you said you have not experienced indian work life. i have experienced that as well i feel everyday life in India is hectic as well. Long hours at work, commute to office every aspect is equally challenging. Helpers are available but believe me you do a lot of work in india than here.
Aunty 's house can't be your mother's home., never ever.. In spite of dirt, pollution, politics, noice, bad infrastructure etc. etc.
அம்மா வீடு அம்மா வீடுதான். சொர்கம் இதுதான். When you are young you may love the freedom there. Why they are not coming back is they get stuck there புதை குழிக்குள் விழுந்து விடுவது தான். I know some parents are so desperate to come back to Bharatham with their children (who are brought up in aunty 's land.) Drug addiction மாதிரிதான். நல்லது இல்லைதான். ஆனா திரும்பி வரமுடியாது. அதுதான் best இன்னு சொல்லிக்க வேண்டியதுதான்.
வேப்ப மரமும் மருதாணி செடியும் இந்த மண்ணில்தான் செழிப்பாக இருக்க முடியும். ஆலிவும் (olive ) செரியும் இங்க தேவையும் இல்லை. We can go for holidays and come back to our royal life here. இந்த பாரத மண்ணில் பிறக்க. இருக்க மற்றும் இறக்க கொடுப்பினை இருந்தால் மட்டுமே நடக்கும்.இங்கு பிறந்தும் வாழ முடியவில்லை என்றால் கைக்கு எட்டியது வாய்க்கு எட்டவில்லை. I feel sorry for them.
I came to US, 3 years before getting married I got settled and then my husband came to US. It was crazy 3 years, coming here with your partner is the best. I love my work and my family, my husband had to quit his job for a while to take care of the kids. He learnt to cook, clean and slowly changed from Mom’s little prince to best Dad and husband. I think it depends on your partner, I feel I’m lucky and have a happy life when compared to sisters in India. I have worked in both India and here, working here is easy for women here than in India. My son does dishes now and my daughter does laundry and help with cooking. It’s a team work even if one player is down it’s hard for the team to survive and be happy here.
Thank you 😊 for watching
😅 Sema comedy
Thanks for sharing your view! This is the reality here nobody says this when we came here ( many of us can relate ) Most of the women here were career oriented women when they are in India before marriage but we left job came here took time to adjust this harsh reality, then baby , care giving- when we think about what we are doing here it’s been almost 5 / 6 years gone !😅 now we have more career break looking to get back to field once our kid join Kindergarten. But it’s really difficult here as you said ! If you come without prepared you are done 😮
Thank you 😊
Nothing is easy in life - we have to work for our choices…some call it sacrifice, passion, routine, torture, normal - it’s all perspective 😊
Thanks for sharing
நல்ல அனுபவப் பகிர்வு. தமிழில் பேசுகிறேன் அப்பதான் என் உணர்வுகளை உண்மையா வெளிப்படுத்தமுடியும்னு சொன்னீங்க. ஆனால் 90% ஆங்கிலத்தில்தான் பேசினீர்கள். ஆயின் உண்மையான அனுபவப் பகிர்வு. நன்றி.
Thanks
Namaskaaram... Just started watching your video... would like to share few points here... disclaimer: I am no expert in relationships or life decisions...only sharing my point through...
Our basic Sanathana Dharmam values (for all Bhaarathiyaas) is to be born, learn that we are born to fulfill our karma(bad and good) and attain salvation... that is the main purpose of each and every jeevaathmaa... but with so many changes all over the world, we are struggling to deal with reality and so called reality... trying to fit in -in this world and find our place... when it is not our teaching at all... we are lost in worldly things and we are not sure what we want in life at all...
that is what we need to teach our children.. to know their Self...to grow as a person...find inner self and attain salvation/moksham and never be born again... :)
Thank you for sharing
Same blood Sainthavi! I am a working mom of two boys (11 and 6) ,cooks three meals a day and have no outside help. My husband shares half of our work and he is my pillar of support. .. east coast snow la 10 years irunthu ipothan TX vandhurukom. I have been working in US alone for 10 years adding to my India experience for 4 years.. I have been working in US since my elder one was 1.5 years old. Managed to finish my MBA in UIUC part time. Life has been hard and sometimes brutal and I have already started graying… day care pickups, kid sickness , parents health issues, work stress, been there done that..
My moment of ‘ennada life idhu’ was when I was coming back from work from a train station in east coast (4 months pregnant then). The snow had fallen between morning and evening and my car was fully covered and hardened in snow. I was cleaning all the snow on the car in the parking lot in less than 0 degrees outside in the dark so that I can drive back home. That time I thought what life is this. However, I have crossed so many challenges in US life and made myself a strong woman. I also have so many frustrations just like you. We have to vent out our frustrations but I know you will be working even more harder than the previous day. I felt I was seeing a mirror image of me in your videos. I am a fan of your college videos and they are very useful.
Probably someone could take a movie of all our life experiences.😂
Thank you so much for sharing and I’m glad you enjoyed 😀 Thanks for the ❤️
Thanks@@SainthavisKitchen for your response . Really appreciate your insightful videos all the time! keep going!
desp[ite all these frstrations you will never come back to india..why? $$$$ simple..thats all matters
Totally relatable! Lived with lots of help most of my life in India and boy! what a shock everything over here was... Missed home and mourned deeply, was dizzy, got headaches and super-terrified of everything especially the high speed roads here, with no practical skills!!! Faith kept me from collapsing and an understanding, loving family patiently supported me!! Somehow learned to drive, cook, clean (just the survival basics, I guess!!) and work flexibly online part-time... I keep ferrying kids around for school and countless activities! Thoroughly love the fun interaction, beautiful nature and quality family time and travel here, doing things together, also enjoy volunteering at our church pre-school... Yes, life here is a roller-coaster! Lovely discussion. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you for sharing and I’m glad 😀
ரொம்பவும் யதார்த்தமான பதிவு. I recently started my channel just few days old actually as I felt I had to share my journey as Sahm expat mom for past 17 years . This space of homemakers has lot left to be explored , our journey and experiences to be shared , for the world to take note of the countless sacrifices we made without any expectation in reality . When you said I signed up for it , I so much could relate to it … hats off to you for making this video , it has motivated me to publish the raw and real intro video without makeup face soon 🙏🏼
Perfect pls do so thanks for sharing
Nice listening to you. Am in India.....
My brother went to US 25 years ago to study PG. After that he started to work ....Did not marry for long time.... got married to a person in US at the age of 46. Comes to India rarely. A family lost their Son / brother. It's painful.
Thanks for sharing
How will a family lose his son or brother just because he married his choice ?
My in laws will come but won’t take care my kids. Just play.. mil want to take care my husband food. She won’t eat what I cook..
My sis in law is also in usa. She will come to visit our home. She says you r not taking care my parents and your husband.
They are not considering taking care of kids, cleaning the home, dish washing, and laundry.
My parents force me to go work. Over comes completed 10 years 😢..
Sometimes mental and physical pressure
I totally understand and hang in there. You are strong and you’ll be able to conquer everything soon
It's been 22 years for me after getting married and settled here as a stay at home mom.I Iwas saying this for so many years to my family and friends..but I don't think they understand until they experience on their own! But they get used to it..just like how we r surviving with our husbands support and love.Hopefully it's all worth it for their personal growth ❤
Thank you for the encouraging words
Not only in overseas, for any working women, Same situation in India too now a days! Chose to work from home, during pandemic! Ended up with multiple health issues.
I understand thanks 🙏🏽
You said it right. 100 percent true.You hit the nail on the head for those parents who are ambitious in sending their children abroad.
Thank you 😊
Then don't hit that nail on your children.
Thanks for the detailed video. I’d have to agree with you on couple of points but not sure if I’d agree with you on everything. I’ve been living here for more than a decade and before moving to the US, have lived in other countries and that was before marriage. India has all the help but you’d spend 3 hours on commute in cities like Bangalore and Pune. I’m a working mom and I straddle between both worlds. If you a working women in India, I’d say it’s equally hard if not harder to manage home and work and of course you end up sacrificing. The difference I see is - house help/ maid take undue advantage and this is the feedback from friends who moved back to India and couldn’t manage with all the luxury (well, I’d even question if it’s a boon or bane) and ended up in the US within an year or two. I feel it’s much better in the US as you get needed house help to clean up the house once a month, you get cook for $15 an hour to cook up food for 2 days and you have a good work-life balance.
Most importantly, I spend good quality time with my kids in the evenings and over the weekend. So it’s different but not bad is my take
Thank you for sharing your experience
Can you imaging how you might have evolved all these years, if you were in a village? To an entirety different person....
All the pain you have explained is worth alot, to became mature, productive and a broad minded person.
Staying in comfort zone is a curse. It kills who you are.
So, encourage people to come out of the comfort zone and explore the full potential.
I strongly suggest today's youngsters to go abroad or nearby city and start life from scratch. They will love their family and hometown alot.
And being productive is so addictive.... I hope someone can relate to what I said.
Your rephrased my point in your words. Thank you for watching my video
This is great. Finally somebody talk about it. Watched it entirely and very valid analysis. Always the grass is greener on other side. Totally relate with my lifestyle of working mom of two kids.
Thank you 😊
Hi akka, I am living in Canada, I can relate you in some situations. But the same time I came from a lower middle class even my mom and dad are doing agriculture till to date, before mrg um nangatha ella velayum pathom , after mrg we were in India with our in laws, actually it was soo exhausted always in kitchen feeling not worthy everyday. Ethukume na sari kidayathunu ninachen.Ithula vera suthi irukravangala inum kulanthai ilayanu torture, The minute my hus said he has a dream of going to Canada, we were prepared our mindset, India la en hus vela senja my in laws ku pudikathu, but here when i go home , he will make tea and food for me. Also engayo oru moolela pathiram kaluvitu iruntha enna oru gov job la iruka vachrukanga, i can help my parents by my own, India la irunthruntha ithukula 2 kulantha irukum , but my mental health would be same like I am zero nu. I am not saying , having baby is wrong but elathayum vida nama confident ah irukanum atha oru job tha kudukum especially from a lower middle class girl. So its depends on from where they are coming.
At the end of the day" grass is greener on the other side"
Thank you for sharing 😊
@@SainthavisKitchen❤
You can get made furniture that doesn't require assembling. Of course it costs more.
There are several different aspects of life abroad that are much better than India
The only difference is the problems are different in each country. It not good to compare.
Ok!
If you come to the US, you have to start over, adapt. I lived here for 33 years. Arranged marriage didn't work out. Went thru divorce here. Became a working woman not by choice but for survival and to raise my son. No time for self pitty. My son was born and raised here. I am the sandwitch generation caught between mom, dad and mother-in-law old school and her son and my millennial opinionated son. You just have to go with the flow. Like narnal, grass.
Thanks for sharing
I am going to work because of societal pressure not that I want to. In my family one of my close family member compares me with their grown up children in NJ and says she is able to go to work and their kids are now doing well and says if I don't go to work in America ( both husband and wife) we will not be able to afford my kids education and consider me to be useless. I felt hurt and joined work and struggling to handle everything. Also when I go to temples, other social gatherings the first question they ask is are you working? If so what kind of job? How do I come out of this pressure, I too want to be a housewife and take care of my household.
I will address this and make a video. Don’t worry about what the world will say or do. Avangalukku vera velai illa.
Do what makes you happy.
Thank you ji, you talked about what I am going through, great video
@@SainthavisKitchenyes ji many women go thru this and it will be helpful many women
Suggestions may come to us.. but choise should be ours.. it's our life
Kids should learn reality.
My son learnt his lesson after going to college
He is my first child and now my second one is well prepared to start his college life!
But as a parent we learn along with them.
Thanks 😊
If you come to hospital for emergency visit we have acuity level to take you in
If you have chest pain ,stroke like symptoms,respiratory issues,you will be seen within second ..your acuity level is 1
If you are coming for fever ,and there is 4 chest pain patient .chest pain patient will be seen first and fever patient will be pushed back
Based on acuity level you will be seen by doctor
Not based on Time you reach the hospital
Thanks for sharing
Rightly said, I have taken my husband for anxiety issue last month. He was the last token for the day where we were suppose to wait for more than 5 hrs. As we told he had symptom of heavy heart beat, he was given priority and attended.
Sis you forgot to tell one more thing bill. We got a bill of around $600 in which our premium package insurance cover almost $500 and we still have to pay100
No country can afford India’s medical facility
If u have posted this 1 year back ,it would have been a blessful to me..
After coming here at the age of 40 , we r struggling with two teenagers at home in US
I’m sorry you have to go through this 😔 don’t worry it will get better as you will get used to it
Looks very genuine conversation . I am also having same situation in Netherlands. But we always have a choice to go back to India and live a peaceful life. It's us who chose to live outside India , so we have to focus on life goals as it's different for each family. Was working in India as well as here and have pros and cons everywhere.
All the best
Love marriage also doesn’t mean you know the person in and out. Only when you start living under the same roof, you would know the cons! Also people evolve or change for good or bad!
All marriages have risks - infact the % also depends on the 2 people involved rather than arranged or love
Agreed
Somewhat I agree . There is lot of sacrifice we do and acclimate to this life style. I came in 2000 with my 3 yr old daughter. I raised and my daughter is in CA. I 32:30 work too. But onething I became very confident and groomed myself well and realized how much potential I have. Would not got been how I'm today in india. Adapting to US life style made me a strong woman.
Good for you
Hi sis, completely agree with you on all 35 minutes. First Thanks for opening up this topic. Second, you look good on this dress n smile. Wish someone could have told me nine years back. I graduated Masters in Network Engineering with 77% in 2013 and after 5 months I got married and within 10 days I n husband came to US Ohio. ( Virunthu sapadu kooda Sariya sapidala )After 4 months of USA life, I wrote a letter to my mother that I will sucide don’t worry about me n so on. No one to talk, inside 4 walls. Husband goes to office. Arrange marriage only. Days moved. I have underwent all depressions A-Z, even I thought to get divorce , because of my loneliness. I have two kids one boy 8 year old n girl 5 year old. especially my second girl baby Pregnancy n delivery. She is 5 year old now. I didn’t get any help. I raised my kids in very tough situation. My husband cooks some time. every work will stand in the queue ( one after another) For everything and anything I have to be dependent on him, which I hate . In India, I go to market, I do my own shopping, I go to ration shop. I do all work by myself. But here total dependent. My mom worried that I didn’t make money and my life is same as hers. I am the only person in my family n in my husband’s family who is not working. But the point is I don’t regret a single time that I am a home maker. You have once said in a video , that you will see my knowledge in my kids development. That’s true sis. Even it is a working women or not, whether she has degrees or not, a mother’s knowledge is transferred into kids . They do carry their wisdom. As we know seasons will change. Once started to be busy in taking care of kids, my loneliness went away, started reading about parenting, watching programs from doctors. In My opinion Life in America is a roller coaster. Thank you once again sis for all your valuable talks.
Thanks for sharing!! ❤️ 🤗
More power to you and my love and blessings to your family
I am in Gulf country ..here also I felt like this only ..now I am strong ..concentrate In ourself self and taking care of our kids are the only way to come out of all depression and loneliness...👍
💯
those who got big masters degree or whatever as you said too use restrooms , if you use something , there is nothing wrong in cleaning it ...and there is no ilakkaram attached to it ...
Ok
This is totally relatable. I strongly feel new immigrants need to be well prepared to face all challenges before moving to North America rather than repenting later. Thanks for putting up this awareness video. You did a brilliant job explaining the reality of life in the Western world ❤️👍
Thank you Manju for catching the essence & purpose of this video.
Thanks for the ❤️ love and motivation
@@SainthavisKitchen always ❤️✌️
I agree india gives everything. It gives wonderful education and guidance but if they provide the appropriate salary in India no one will come out of the country. As you say we can buy many things with swiggy and many other. But where is the money to buy that all? If they provide adequate salary why should we come from there. No one prefers to leave their home country. It is not for fantasy people migrate. It is need and necessity
Very true, thanks for the reply
Responsibility has to be both wherever they are . Doesn’t matter whether you are in India or USA , don’t depend on others for day to day life . There is nothing wrong in cleaning bathroom even if u are CEO of the company . You are the one using bathroom no one is doing that for you . Teach kids time management , not to depend on others
Thank you 🙏🏽
Well said !!
Well said ! Nothing wrong in doin our own work ! And nothing is that hard as mentioned here ...
You have given the ground reality of living transcontinental. Tnx for spreading awareness.
Actually it is a trade off of inconveniences and comforts either side. It is a package (like Thali in Indian restaurants or combos over there) and one has to choose by his/her preferences of what you don’t mind suffering from.
There are a couple of related themes you might want to address later.
1) Parents perspective. Why they want to send their kids abroad - keeping up with the Joneses? Better financial conditions? Kids insistence to go abroad? Better choice of careers etc
2) Some parents and kids who have not seen videos like yours tend to think that their friends and relatives are exaggerating the troubles with an ulterior motive since they are jealous that these desis might become competitors and comparisons! and their suspicions are not entirely imagined. (Human mind works in devious ways!)
A neutral person’s perspective like yours will help in making more objective decisions based upon what one wants from life that are non-negotiable.
Fantastic points thanks for sharing I shall include these next time. Thank you for the kind words
Life is all about compromise among partners. Life is not about lovey-dovey. I agree it is very hard to excel both in career and family life equally. Its all about balance. Kids have their own choices, but if both partners want to work we cannot give kids choices. I cook one Food and all has to eat. If that balance has to happen, as kids grow we have to sit as family and talk about family goals and it's all about team work. If I hire a person to do mowing , I will be paying $300 every 2 weeks, to clean pool is $500 every two weeks etc.. it's all about choices.. it is not necessary to have such things.. I know there are times I have payed $700/ month 15 yrs back for daycare. Then only you can imagine now. Honestly both spouses and kids have to work together for happy and successful marriage no matter where we live.
Thanks you Ducy for bringing this discussion in your channel.
Thank you Divya, I admire your dedication towards your profession and your family
She is the 1st woman to tell the truth whats really happening in the foreign counties .....Before coming to canada my midset was so happy oh i am going to canada....But after coming here only the country is beautiful if you come inside the hosue you have to do all work...cleaning, dish washing,that minus degree Celsius oh my god really really very very embarrassing.......
Thank you for sharing
As much as your video makes sense, the truth is when you accept your life and actually settle abroad. Once you accept and live life like other Americans and not NRI's life becomes a little easy. The problem is when people compare life to something back home. I have been in Canada for 23+ years. Seen it all. But the moment we stop comparing prices, health care, facilities to back home life is more enjoyable. First thing, men have to pitch in. They have to become house members and not participants. At the same time, SAHM is a difficult choice. I respect your choice but I would never recommend it to anyone. Kids growing up in N.America will soon move on and find their life after they turn 18. When we look back we will have an empty nest. It's not worth sacrificing everything we have to feel empty. Life is so unpredictable as well. It's best to try to do it all even in small bits. A good part-time job, free lancing.. and the most important thing is to start to live like the people around us and stop comparing with people back home. It's all doable. It's ok to send kids to daycare. It's ok to not do it all. It's okay for kids to eat whatever and make their own meals. This will help the woman of the house also ease up. Why strive for perfection? It's not needed. I cannot imagine any white woman wanting to be a SAHM because of so and so.. She will live her life coz like everyone else she only lives it once.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts
Totally agree with you
After having all frustrations...y ppl are staying there and trying for green card?what stops them to come back to india?if possible make a vedio on this topic also?
Sure thanks
Because most parents in India is become more comparative with other people and directly saying see how they earn you too went to same education what the use . Think if this is repetive on daily basis then how you will have affection on daily basis.
I like india but I wish to stay abroad because my parents compare with my brother who live in US. I live in Sweden unfortunately I can't find a job so single earning life style is simple but my bro family two earning in dollar so they have high lifestyle. My parents didn't understanding the difference we are going on and insulting in many ways then how you wish to go to India.
All indian like india it's the people around them make them to feel to settle in abroad in some ways.where you are is not the matter, with whom you are is the most important to live peace.
Well said💥@@kaviyaayyappan9109
As always such a great video Sainthavi 🥰🥰 each and every word is true and we all can completely relate ! 24 years here in US for me and I came here 2 weeks after my wedding! Not easy at all to handle all the work here and your video was like a therapy to me 💜
Thank you for making my day! I needed this validation. Appreciate it 💗
Hi Sainthavi. This is wonderful topic. I'm living in Dubai. I'm not working women. But it's not easy both roles balance even as a home maker. Compare to Dubai its very difficult in Europe and US. Here available everything near by home and office everywhere. Really very tough life in US. Really appreciate you all working womens.🎉❤
Thanks for sharing and thanks for ❤️ 😊
Exactly you have relate my issues. Hats off dear. We are in malaysia. Last five years back we came. No maid, no helper. Struggling lot. OmG .. no words to express our struggles. But good news is... Iwe are leaving to INDIA very soon. I will start my career with happiness, joy and fun..everything.
I’m happy for you, thank you for watching ❤️ 😊
I wish someone would have made this video 20yrs ago.we would not have sent our daughter to US who found it impossible to adjust and came back with whole lot of health issues mental and physical.All parents trying to marry off their daughter to a "settled abroad" groom please see this now.Sainthavi kudos to you.👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
Thank you 🙏🏽 for your encouragement. I truly felt the same after I had Veewin 😢 thankfully Amma and appa came here often to give me some comfort. Appreciate you sharing this with me.
Hello!! In my opinion I think it is important for a woman to be financially independent. At the same time man has to be involved in domestic chores as well and it is important to find the balance.
I agree ☝️ thank you 😊
It’s ok for a husband to sacrifice somethings or his time to make hot breakfast for his wife,we have to normalise that,our Indian men MUST change their mindset,and the wives should change their mindset too that husbands can serve their homemaker wives.
Family will be nowhere without housewives !
And our children can do the same for us,teach them to cook and help you around the house,make a timetable.
You don’t have to do all Sis,hugs ❤
🥰 ❤️ thank you 😊
Seemed to be listening to a person next door.. Very casual talk.. nice one
Thank you 🙏🏽
This video would have been apt maybe 15 years ago. Now every family has one person abroad and they know exactly what is in store before they land in a foreign land. My own siblings have been abroad for over 3 decades....All youngsters already are aware of what you are telling
Thanks for for watching the video
99% may already know like you said. I’m not saying anything new here but may be that 1% needs to hear this. Pls share with friends & family. Thanks
@@SainthavisKitchen Agreed. Will do 😊
i think most of our moms never expressed their pain , nor their husbands helped them in any way
True
Perfect topic, 100% reality . You read my mind . Please give tips to overcome pre- menopause symptoms if you know . Will be useful for lot of ladies .
I will do that thank you Deepa 😊
I live in UK. Apart from healthcare, life is almost same in UK as in USA. In UK, If you are not well, you are expected to take Paracetamol (called Tylenol in US) and stay at home to take rest until you get well. If you are so sick that you cannot stay in office any longer, you are expected to fill out an online form explaining your health problems, a nurse will call you within 24 hours to book an appointment with a doctor for you the same day. If a child is very sick, there is a UK national helpline number which you have to call. A nurse will pick up the call and take you through the process of getting the child admitted in a hospital. She will give you a reference number which you have to quote when admitting your child in hospital. You can call an ambulance only if it is a matter of life and death. If you break your arm or leg or if you have a major accident (someone else will call the ambulance if they are next to you). Healthcare in Eastern Europe is much faster than in UK or France or Germany. Doctors will even come to your home if you or your child is very sick. This system in Eastern Europe goes back to the old communist era they had until 1989. When compared to Europe, American healthcare system is almost at the bottom of the ranking list despite very advanced medical equipment. There is a lot of anti-communist propaganda in US media. But the reality is that healthcare and school education is far more better in communist and former communist countries than USA. University education is free for all citizens in most European countries, particularly in Eastern Europe where Govt provides free healthcare, free dental care, free eye test, free school and free university education for citizens. Funding comes from reasonable taxation. The reason is that these countries don't spend much in defense unlike the USA. Just sharing my views with Indians living in USA.
Beautiful written thank you for sharing and I’ll be sure to share with this with all in a video
@@SainthavisKitchen ...Thank You. I will watch your other videos and share my views as well.
my brother is a doctor in the UK. He is surprised we get same day appointments in the US. in Uk , as he says rich have private medical insurance for this purpose. Depending on your type of insurance u cab get same day appointments . There is always emergency free services as well.
regarding low cost colleges, the job opportunities, strong economy , mainly the freedom to create any company you want with lots of resources and support to do so in the US is not comparable to anyother countries I've had the blessing of living.
@@KK-sl1nk....The best and worst of capitalism can be seen and felt only in USA. University education is free for citizens in almost all European countries (with UK being an exception). USA is no match for Europe in that area. I can honestly say that undergraduate education is far better in Europe than in USA. But R&D is the area where USA beats the rest of the world due to greater financial resources. Europe as a whole is almost on par with USA in intellectual capital. It is the immense financial capital in USA that makes that country's economy strong. From Europe's point of view, USA is in a situation it has never been before. In the past Republicans and Democrats were united against communism and later against terrorism (after 2001 9/11 attack). Now the division between the two on issues like national security, border control and international military and economic aid is widening and might cause cracks in national unity. With the exception of UK and France, almost all Nato members in Europe depend on countries like South Korea that mass produces conventional weapons. The defense manufacturing capability does not exist in many European Nato members. One of the many truths that has not been told to Americans by the media is that South Korea cannot defend itself against North Korea without US help. In short, US military is baby sitting foreign allies that cannot defend themselves.
Ur perspective are On point ❤, u spoke my heart . People should come to a clarity before getting into marriage . In recent generation the level of sacrifice is coming down , so it’s hard for them to cope up in a marriage life . Well said saindhavi. 😍🤩
Thank you 😊 ❤️
How much time you spend every day watching TV/mobile ?
Zero hours
@@SainthavisKitchen 👍 Good Night !
Hello dear ….100 percent true …you are a wonderful women ,and I was also working as a volunteer for eight years here ,I have service mind like you too,my son is in middle school now ,life is going with lot of responsibilities and frustration,and we don’t have green card yet ,struggling to settle here ,sometimes “what is this life “….couldn’t go to India due to visa issues ,and parents also not in condition of coming here ….oh my god ,I am seeing myself in you always …since I was brought by good father I am able to manage everything…thank you so much ….if I have a chance wanted to meet you one day but I am in new Jersey ….will see in future ….lots of thank you to your service ….
Hi dears… me too in NJ for almost 12 years being a housewife. Not sure what I’m doing is right or wrong and whenever I just think of working people scenario, the fear of responsibilities makes me feel pessimistic and so I didn’t try for that. But sometimes, all our friends were once, homemaker but working now, I feel very lonely and low. Worst part is the weather which makes me even more down. Hopefully I’ll find a solution to these or at least try to get used to this😂
Thank you Shanthi for the love and for sharing your thoughts
Thank you Vedha, hang in there. You’ll find the purpose soon and I’m sure you are wonderful mom. Good job
Shanthi Hope to meet you someday 😀
@@SainthavisKitchenThank you. It means a lot. Definitely I’ll try to meet you when possible and I must say this, almost addicted to your channel especially after watching your education series as there’s no one to help with, being a parent of high schooler😊
Same blood akka. You words was my reflection I say the same to my relatives and friends in India. I had been in India , Belgium n USA the most luxury life is in India. Here in USA I preferred to be SAHM as you, this work itself is full time work. I always feel my choice was right as I cook food 3 times a day n know what’s happening with my kids. I forwarded ur video in all WA group. I have been watching ur videos for last 2 years I see so many comments for this video semma ponga I think u were mind voice of all women in USA. Kudos akka keep ur good work. U made my day 😊
Thank you so much for the validation ma, I needed this
When my mom came to US when I delivered my son in 2004 she was shocked to see me driving to Walgreens to buy medicine.which no women would do in india right after delivery.my husband was handling the cry baby. 35:05
😀😀😀
My son says he wont do arrange marriage. He says he will marry only after dating and finding the right women
Good for him
சொந்த நாட்டில் இருப்பதே சுகம் என் தம்பி லண்டனில் இருக்கிறான் சொந்த வீடு இருக்கிறது ஆனால் சந்தோஷமா இருக்க இருக்கிறானா என்றால் தெரியாது இந்தியாவில் எல்லாம் அன்று பறித்த காய்கறிகள் கறிவேப்பிலையிலிருந்து கீரை வரை அனைத்தும் பிரஷ் சொந்த மனைவி அருமையான குழந்தைகள் நல்ல குடும்பம் கோவில் கடைகள் திருவிழாக்கள் பண்டிகைகள் சண்டைகள் வாழ்க்கை திருப்தியானது அதுவும் இந்தியா நான் என் நாட்டை மிக மிக மிக மிக மிக நேசிக்கிறேன் ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤நிச்சயம் எத்தனை கோடி கொடுத்தாலும் நான் வெளிநாடுகளுக்கு வரமாட்டேன் மாட்டேன் மாட்டேன்
Loved the way you spoke! You were brutally honest speaking about 'women's choices' in life
I agree!
100% True words ... You spoke my mind Sainthaiv Akka.....More relatable to every women's life.... Awesome words.....
Thank you so much 🙂
Very true! U read my mind! Shocked to see this video ! How can two different person think the same way!
Haha thanks for supporting
All these prbm happens wben we start comparing others and have a thought process that certain jobs are to be done by certain gender or someone else. Its simple...every individual has to take care of their basic stuff and not dependent on others and no job is gender specific. Asian famimies living in abroad face this issue because they have preceived opinion of certain houseold things done by certain gender...thats not how life is. Man or women both needs to learn survival skills - food shelter and finance...it doesnt matter if you are a husband or wife you need to know it. Once we get into that mentality family life is manageable...also raise the kids in that way once they are into their teens. Teach then to take ownership and responsibilty not to expect things to ve done for them by others be it parents or their partners...all these social media and stuff wants us to be lazy and long for things which are never needed. Before looking outside the window clean the house inside and start sharing things inside...married life...family is a journey...it has ups and downs...it has sacirfices love and understanding...both partners needs do it...as wheels of a vehicle..you can go for some distance when one is not shaeing the load properly but it will fail and can only go long when both take the load. Good luck.
Thank you for sharing
I don't about others I'm also not from US I just came to chennai from my hometown kinda semi rural area (Kumbakonam) staying in a PG(like hostel) to attend classes before that i attended in online mode in home due pandemic and other personal things. every damn word u said in this video is true akka.I have classes between 10am to 6:30pm sometimes it will drag to 7pm also i have to come back after that to my room clean my utensils, laundry the clothes if there is any,take care of my health too .i have to fresh myselfs then sit for my studies(my study hrs are so less like 1or 2hrs nowadays🤧 coz my course is like that)coz i have to sleep little early like around 12 or 12 : 30 to wake up little early in the morning or else the restroom will be housefull then i will be late to class.sometimes i was like neenga sonna mathri tha "just enna thoonga vidunga".since i came to chennai everyday I'm planning what are the things to be done today which i doesn't done in my home.i have to be self dependent and plan daily or else everything will mess up.i was able to relate to ur words ka.this is my POV tho.for some this seems like a rant for others may be relates.i do comments very rarely in any video but this one relates me a lot akka
TO THOSE WHO CHASING THEIR GOALS AND AMBITIONS PLEASE NEVER GIVE UP GUYS
STAY POSITIVE ,STAY HYDRATED❤
Super ma, thank you for sharing and I’m sure you’ll be very successful in life
@@SainthavisKitchen thanks for the kind words ka
Whatever you say people will still come. I think it is a great experience. We can handle more ourselves. No need for a family help. All humans have potential to raise their offsprings. I am glad I left India for many reasons. I am still very much Indian. I wouldn't have been able to face so many challenges if not for my upbringing and values from my parents.
Ok
100% true. I agree with each and everything you said even sometimes I wonder why we came here better we will go back to India.
Thank you 😊 happy you enjoyed
Sainthavi your video is very useful to me. Because my daughter get love marriage so she refused my close Realation boy to get married. He is very good job in us good salary good education gold medalist good back round and rich. I was feel sad not select this partner. I don't know this decision good or bad. Now your video clear thank God for my daughter happy life. Thank you for your video message.
All the best
Good conversation. Thanks for sharing 👍🏻
I could understand ur lifestyle.. I am working mother in Chennai, born and brought up in Coimbatore.. husband ku tirunelveli la oru village dhaan native.. traveling, meeting friends, relatives, people, sometimes just nature helps us to relax a bit from this hectic schedule.. in some of our travels, have felt the love parents here whose kids are in abroad.. andha love va epdi courier pandradhu nu theriyama irukuraanga.. how much ever technology improves, idha panna mudiyaadhula.. stay happy and loved ❤
Thank you 😊
Mam, we can't make a format or justify and be sure of any format.... even after living for many years, we don't get to know each other because a human keeps evolving and reactive with the outside pressure. Any format has pros and cons. Life is a chance. Goodnight movie snoring is a problem that only his wife needs to adjust if she wants to have her life and family with him.. I wonder why you are asking this question like why his wife has to adjust... Life is full of adjustments. We speak too much about adjusting to another family with whom we want to have family... we adjust to every relationship we have in our lives. Please, many youngsters take every bit of what you spoke to their total advantage and don't respect any relationship. People talk about all this too much that both extremes are common now
1. Tolerate too much and suffer and face some fatal experiences.
2. Do not adjust at all and make some silly stupid excuses to tear apart, a family into pieces and ruin their own and others life miserably...
Thank you for sharing your thoughts
Nice video, more than feeling bad I was literally lol. I came here like 20 years back , my dream about US was like Karan Johars movie but the dream collapsed as soon as I landed On a winter snowy weather, the snow looks great in movie and Reels , but reality 🥶. In 20 yrs so many experiences. Lived life in a suitcase for 3 yrs , consulting job required us to move almost 12 different states in 3yrs, then child birth in a new city with in a week we moved, and begged for help from neighbors whom we met 3 days before my labor pain, as my first kid was born in India, no idea what a contraction means and when is the right time be in hospital and reached just 15 minutes before my son was born, no parents or close friends in new city and my husbands new job demanded him in office in 3 days. Husband was like a mother who use to take care of me, a toddler and a new born along with new job, I got in to postpartum depression for 2 yrs and we did not know I was going through that , but all was good like any other parents we also were on our busy schedules with kids classes and our jobs, when I look back now last 20 yrs it feels like a blink of eyes. Now I am 42 , my 20 yrs old son is in Caltech almost 5 hrs flight journey away, my younger one will leave for college in fall. My greatest fear is next what, we have so much time now house does not get messy, don’t have to cook so many times in a day, no more need to drive kids around and due to COVID now we WFH LOL……Best thing about this county is it made me strong physically and mentally compared to my cousins my age in India. Self love , I matter , my health matters and my happiness matters this is my matra, which I see still missing in most of mothers and wife’s in India . This is not a frustration comment, just this is how I motivate my self every day❤❤
I totally understand and I hope I’ll be able to gain strength and Share the strength with others virtually. Thanks for sharing
Your video will be an eye opener for all .. this will be helpful to the young generation
... nobody has said the reality.. I'am in India nobody is there for help because we can't afford housing loan going on parents died after i gave birth to my daughter before her I have a son 2 years elder than her... husband's parents settled with her daughter as she is working so no help from any side. So I choose the path of home maker like you said I have a very supporting husband (love marriage)and children but when I do household works I use to think what am I doing why did I study. But as you said preparation is must this would be the solution both for men and women..
Thank you for understanding the essence
I can feel you ,Saindavi , I am working in healthcare. It's a lot , especially in your early 40s. It's like too much on you... and the back home people think that we all are living a luxurious life here, at the cost of losing ourselves sometimes... thanks for bringing up this topic..and last but not least , my husband is also a very helpful guy, but he can not cook, which will be the most wanted help from your husband..
So true thank you for sharing your thoughts and I’m glad we are able to relate with each other. 😊 ❤️
Great points Sainthavi. You should also do a video about the H1/H4 and Green card struggle. It has becoming like bonded labor now. When we tell the reality to folks back home how people caught in the limbo are stuck here w/o getting to go back home even to visit, they discount it or totally disregard it saying that we are jealous of them coming here!
Thank you for resonating with me, ❤️ 🤗
100 percent true neenga sonnathu ellame can't skip even a min of your video actually bore eh adikala avlo relate Panika mudiyudhu..its so frustrating living abroad..I have a toddler at home.. nimathiya ukkanthu sapda Kuda mudiyala Vela Vela nu odikite iruka vendirku...watching this from Germany...
Thank you Lakshmi for sharing your thoughts. 😀
Am a single mom n came recently...... Had family support, maid as well as cook in india....Rest u know 😅..... Naan dhaan edho thappu panrenu neneche.... Glad to hear this from u.... Am very normal.. Not an alien 😂😂
Haha your comment made me chuckle 😂
Agree to one extent .. but in India as well , it’s not easy to work and handle home simultaneously. Imagine getting struck in traffic for 2 hours morning and evening . Working in shifts . Family time would be zero.
Oh ok
Now no close relation we are not sharing. I hear your feelings like your sister no worries take care enjoy the present moment
Yes, thank you
I FEEL SO NICE AND MOTIVATED AFTER WATCHING THIS VIDEO.. AS I FEEL SOMEONE IS TALKING MY HEART !!!!
Thank you Uma
Hi Sain, Very true whatever you spoke. Same blood. You both are awesome couple. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you 😊
During Corona and Post Corona, we stopped all the help that we got from Maids. Till today we do not have any maids and we do everything on our own. Yes, both has to take responsibilities at home and split the work to ensure we do not worn ourselves out. But I think it is workable, especially when we see our moms working 24x7 with 9To5 teaching job in school. I really think it is possible, if one is sincere towards life and do not slack around! Live a very intense life. Of course weekends once or even twice we ensure two go out and enjoy one or two good meal or dinner! Very remotely a super star cinema and that's it - mostly netflix and prime like fillers here and there! I really really think its workable - if the couple loves each other so very much than their individual ego and success.
Thanks for sharing
Almost similar mindset like urs. Livinh in india now. Literally no help from either side parents..no maid . Anyway our choice.. but namma life ipdi irundha that's our choices thats all . We accept it. Kids are smart and they will handle things their own style. Ee need not worry so much and take so much stress now itself. Be cool ma 😎
Thanks 🙏🏽
So much is relatable, Saindhavi. Staying in the US for 15 years has taught me so many life lessons and sacrifices. Working and taking care of family are completely two domains with their own challenges. Even though I'm a stay-at-home mom, raising kids alone in the US is more challenging than in India. There are good days and bad days. Looking at our kids and their bright future, mom needs to adjust and sacrifice things. You completely make sense.
Thank you for the validation and support 😊
Very good conversation Sainthavi!! 200% relatable 😊😊
Thanks Vidya
Loved your video.. this is the first time i am watching your video.. i agree on your points.. we are living in Germany for 12 years. Going through exactly waht you saying. It is a never end story as you said😅😅😅. Ipo dhanda en masula irukara barame koranchudhu moment😂😂
Thanks and 🤗
She spoke my heart out .. people think we are living in heaven here 😂😂 you can not explain them
I am having same mentality like you
I don’t like to live here but living here after more than 10 years
We are on the Same boat 😊
Yes , we spoke about returning in 5 yrs during our wedding .. that 5 yrs has become 22 yrs now .. but still could not return .. my daughter is now 18 and I tell her not to think about marriege as mandatory ..
This conversation has deep meaning.. much more relatable.. in India also we women go thru this.. ayo vitrunga da saamy engaiyaachum odi poyidrean.. or en da kalyanam panoam kind of a thing.. as Vinod said what is there as a lifestyle is luxury here.. for tat luxury only we run run run n get drained here with lot of sweat. I am relocating to the US next month.. This video is an eye opener for me to get prepared.. Because it's too late to decide to stay in India only. But I will get prepared.
This hairstyle suits u well Sain than the usual one u put.. pls maintain this.. meaning the side partition one is good on u.
Thank you Baroo I’m
Happy for you: welcome to US 😀
@@SainthavisKitchen Hahaha
Homemakers also can get social security in the US. It will get paid out of the spouse’s contributions
Thanks
அருமையான பதிவு யூடியூப் வீடியோக்களை இது ஒரு அருமையான பதிவு நான் ஐரோப்பா வந்து கடமையாக என் உணவு உடல் ஆரோக்கியம் எனது நலன் அனைத்தையும் இழந்து விட்டேன் நான் இந்தியாவிலேயே நன்றாக வாழ்ந்தேன் நன்றாக சம்பாதிப்பேன் இங்கே வந்தால் மேம்பட்ட வாழ்க்கை கிடைக்கும் என்று நம்பி அனைத்தையும் இழந்து ஏமாந்து இன்று வாடிக் கொண்டிருக்கிறேன் இனி வருவோருக்கு இப்படி ஒரு நிலைமை வரக்கூடாது அதற்கான அருமையான பதிவான வீடியோ இது ஒன்று எதுவுமே இல்லாமல் எந்த ஒரு கல்வித் தகுதியும் எதுவுமே இல்லாதவர்கள் மாதம் பத்தாயிரம் பதினைந்தாயிரம் இந்தியாவில் சம்பாதிக்க வேண்டும் என்றால் இங்கே வந்து சம்பாதிக்கலாம் மற்றபடி அங்கே ஒரு 40 ஆயிரத்திலிருந்து ஒன்றரை லட்சம் 1 லட்சம் சம்பாதிப்பது ஒரு இந்தியாவையே சொர்க்கம்
I love you sainthavi. Every women have this problem, some of them saying in front most of them are not showing our emotions. What we have to do hope everything going to normal one day we gave to move on. Have a wonderful day guys. Thank you so much for sharing this topic. This is my first comment
Thank you so much 🙂for the comment and for sharing your thoughts. Love ❤️
Last 5 min i laughed forgetting all my sorrows 😊
I’m glad 😀
Good conversation Saindhavi ❤
I am sure people will have an awareness seeing your video.
I feel the same being in this country for 25yrs 😊
Thank you 😊 so much I’m very happy to see that you are able to resonate with me
100% correct, I'm in Houston, Texas, past 12 years.
Thank you 😊
Hi… what ever you spoke is real.. I’m in the same phase of thinking…
Glad you are able to relate
I learnt driving ,cooking, leaning and to communicate well with my leaders what not. Everything. Which I would have missed in india. Again it's how we see the life.
Good for you
Hey hi first tym I uv come across ur Chanel..honestly u nailed right on the head...u hv given the best advice...it's not rosy at all...my own kid well finished ug undergoing pg but in Europe...I hv seen nd thought y at all did I make her sign up for it😢
She’ll get a good life experience now and she is young to make different choices
Thank yo for the compliment
@@SainthavisKitchen tysm appreciate ur response 💓
Very frank and true.. Final note is lovely.. It was like a stand up show injected the reality in a nice manner. Your Narrative made to wait and watch till end.....
Glad you liked it! Thank you 😊
Stay at homme is the best !!! Why this is now adays so much underrated... !!! i mean ... if you have already a sophisticated life through your parents and spouse.. ladies can happily stay at home watch some news , take care of kids, their education, support husband emotionally, make life funfilled... BUT very pity nowadays to see couples who already must have got crores.. still leave their kids and home and go for their business tiring morning to night jobs and not even spending time together... this really create hovac iniially in family later to society ... Am very lucky in a way i got wfh throughout my career.. as i cannot compromise my career as we did not had a backup... Else i also LOVE to stay at home and take care KIDS , not only that lead a happy peaceful funfilled LIFE !!!! This should be passed on to guys too.. who should never underrate non-working wives !!!
Thank you Uma for validating that. I think many will be able to seek comfort for your statement
Hi, I appreciate your videos but this time I have a different opinion. I have young children and was a stay at home mom for the past 6 years. I started working recently and now I do get up much earlier, have more chores but my mental health has been so much better. I go in to the office few days a week , so that outlet of meeting people outside of the house, being able to contribute financially and having something to look forward to in my career has been refreshing. My husband is great, we share our work and kids responsibilities. Your perspective might apply to affluent families in India but I know so many friends where both parents are working and managing the household, it’s not feasible to stay at home and get bored when the kids are at school full time. And there is nothing wrong in cleaning the house & doing the chores , if anything it teaches more responsibility and being independent.
Thank you for sharing 😀 your thoughts
Same feeling, Sainthavi 😪. For
the past 6 years ,I'm experiencing same. Some days, it seems frustrating. Taking care of everything by ourselves, mudiyala kanna kattudhu.
Thank you Archana for sharing your thoughts
Can u please talk about the struggles of h4 kids as they don’t get the option to work while studying and are there any option for scholarships for their college
This is just what I needed to hear at the right time. In our case we are totally confused about where to live.. omg I can relate to you on so many points..it’s an excellent message and you are doing good by sharing this with new comers to US but kids these days know what they want they are able to decide unlike 90’s kids . It’s better they are prepared for the outcome life is not a bed of roses anywhere but in a foreign land life is super crazy. India has everything these days and the weather is awesome unlike here the cold weather doesn’t agree with me. We get domestic help chauffeur and ya we can go to the Doc off in a jiffy of course money is the attraction here but then will that give you happiness we have to decide. It’s not like people are not having a good life back home they save money and go on vacations and enjoy. Above all they are happy. Having lived in Chennai I cannot fit myself in any other place in India it’s the best place for me.
We lad the same thoughts and it’s too late for us to make the decision now for us. Do what’s best for your family. thank you for encouraging words