Omg. This might seem like a weird thing to take away from this video but it made me feel so validated when you said that you couldn't meditate until you worked on your childhood trauma first. For so many years I have been told to manage my mental illness by practicing mindfulness and meditating and deep breathing... Yes all of those things are very beneficial... But I strongly feel that they are useless if you haven't addressed your trauma directly first. It takes time to even get to a place where you can practice mindfulness and meditation (at least for me this is true).
When I first tried to Meditate in my 20s, all my eradic thinking interfered with following my breath. I finally thought it was useless. 30 years later I tried meditation again. Everything changed. Thoughts did not flood my mind. An idea to meditate for 5 minutes. Back in the day, no one suggested to break meditation into very small bites. Meditation has many benefits that come with practice. Stay with 5 minutes, daily, until your thoughts stop racing through your head. There is no rush, just stay with it 5 minutes a day, then slowly try 10 minutes daily. Stay with 10 minutes as long as you want to. Give it a try...
Check out Trauma Sensitive Mindfulness. Turns out, 15% of meditation practitioners are harmed doing Mindfulness practices because of underlying trauma. This book & podcast talks about it in depth. Super validating as one of those people. Goodluck
Omg YES!!! If the childhood trauma isnt resolved and/or worked through, youre just a ticking time bomb... You might be able to manage it well for a period of time, maybe even for years, but it WILL always resurface and show its ugly head. You have to know what to do and how to handle it and get past it... If not, you will fall back in the spiral. Validation is so critical in healing. When your entire life has been 1 big gaslight, validation is NECESSARY!
@@DawnDreams tbh I think a lot of that harm stems from the way mindfulness has been co-opted from deep spiritual and religious traditions to being something touted to "increase productivity", even being taught in corporate seminars or similar spaces. Meditation actually isn't meant to be relaxing first and foremost, it is actually frequently confronting and a lot of harm simply comes from people being unprepared for this. It is sometimes referred to as "the dark night". This is actually what led to me seeking treatment for my trauma as I hadn't realised how much it was affecting me until I started practicing zazen meditation again as an adult. I was filled with an overwhelming sense of dread and terror at first, and began having more frequent panic attacks and dissociative episodes. While some would see this as harm, because I knew meditation could uncover difficult parts of the self, I embraced this as evidence of healing. It's not for everyone, of course! So I would never tell anyone they "should" do it. But I just want people to be mindful (lol) of the way mindfulness has become distorted in a Western (coughcapitalistcough) lens.
Bc of your channel I joined a 6 month long, weekly women’s group therapy that targeted codependence and inner child work. It ends in two weeks. I’ve read all of Pia Mellody’s work, a lot of John Bradshaw’s work, and have started working the 12 steps. I am going on a weekend retreat to continue this work in May for gestalt therapy, continued experientials/chair work, and meditation. The changes in my life, the relationship I’m developing with myself, the progress I’ve made in my depression and anxiety is NIGHT AND DAY! I know I still have work a head of me, but I’ve been in talk therapy for 10+ years and this channel just slung-shot me through another 5 years of work in 9 months. I cannot thank you enough. Really and truly. You’re doing great work here, I am so much happier, and I can’t wait to see how much more fulfilling my life becomes as I continue to reduce shame, increase mindfulness, develops spiritually, and impose healthier boundaries. I was so in the thick of it this past summer that at 34yo, I was convinced I couldn’t feel shame! Turns out, I had it almost perpetually, and I couldn’t “feel” half my feelings!! My anger is reduced significantly, and my inner adult is in the drivers chair a lot more. THANK YOU!
I love hearing about other people working through their childhood trauma because it keeps me motivated! I will get through it all someday and have healthy relationships! Yay!
@@Corina410 there are two, ALANON / ACA and CODA. They have similar step work but ACA is focused on people who grew up with a parent who was an alcoholic / addict. CODA is more for people who grew up with a parent who was not an addict but was personality disordered. Both teach about not being codependent. Both teach about learning how to be ok being alone. Both teach about boundaries etc.
Thankyou for using the language 'good enough' I know I can be a black and white thinker as well as a perfectionist so this is helpful to hear that it can be good enough and still be helpful.
I've been working in corporate for 7 years already. I hate performance reviews. I just hate it. I am always nervous, my stomach aches. I cannot handle criticism well. The most traumatic review was something called 360 review, meaning that as a manager I was reviewed and assesses by co-workes below me, above me and having the same position as me. Then I had to go through results and analyze them. It was the most traumatic thing ever. I cried when I was about to open the results. I am always convinced that poeople do not like me :(
Yes^^ they are so reductionist. Like seriously, a company doesn't improve by perfecting each worker like they are some machine/robot. We are humans with emotions, hard wired needs, and animals at our base nature. Improving business means addressing problems with the needs of all in mind. These reviews are just a tool that fuels worker divide and refocuses system dissatisfaction into threatening coworkers to produce more "or else".
I just wanted to say how much I appreciate this channel. I’ve never seen a therapist more genuinely interested in improving the mental health of people who really need it. There’s nothing wrong with sticking specifically to your private practice, but I don’t have access to therapy, so I just really appreciate all the helpful videos and tips that have a real-world impact
I found a writing from 20 years ago before I knew my Mother was going to DIE in 10 months from cancer. In the end I say, "who knows what will happen"! Here I sit TODAY, BURNING massive collections of photos, I am "burning my pain body"! I am STUCK and have been for a LONG TIME in a past I cannot change and I feel it still rules every waking HOUR of my LIFE!
Initially I couldn't see how my parents expected perfection with no help but then I remembered being expected to get myself up and ready for school since 1st grade.. my mom would be so upset if we missed the bus. Another thing I related to was thinking I'm much more flawed than others so I didn't see their flaws.. like my past boss's passive aggressiveness and extreme caretaker codependency went way over my head (even though he told me he can't say "no). I expected that he was perfect but looking back he was definitely triggered a lot.
About the performance review section: I had a performance review when I was an insurance coordinator for a dental office. The manager and dentist gave me an unnecessarily critical review, then asked me to do my own review and respond to theirs. I gave myself higher marks than they gave me and said certain things I lacked on were due to poor training and that I'd be more aggressive in seeking better training. The dentist took exception to the word "aggressive". Well, when I ended up quitting soon after , the manager asked me to train my replacement. I was confused since according to her and the dentist I sucked so badly, so I asked what she wanted me to teach the replacement. She responded, "I want you to train them to do EXACTLY what you do!" Because I got claims paid that no insurance coordinator before me could get paid and some other things. Like ?? The whole performance review was a gaslighting exercise so I didn't know how much I was worth.
It just goes to show how pervasive abuse is in our society when places of Healthcare are entrenched in manipulation tactics. I'm so sorry you went through this. It's not right what they did. It's entirely backwards that leaders think unfair criticism will somehow improve business outcomes (like um no...that's just hedge fund owners). Normal or even exceptional people are trashed because they threaten fragile, arbitrary power holds based on exploitation. I hope you are able to find healthy community 💗🌱
Awful situation, but may I say how awesome you were? You didn’t give yourself a lower grade because of their review, and you defended yourself. And then you quit. And you were sassy when they asked you to train a replacement. That sounds very assertive. You are a complete stranger, but I’m genuinely proud of you 😁
I am 58 years old and a trauma survivor with CPTSD. I have had many therapists over the years and you totally get me like no one else has. I was wondering if you have a list of therapists that practice the same way that you do? I just went to a psychologist today for a first session and when I told her something I did that was a trauma response, she made a comment that caused me to feel ashamed. I did EMDR for 18 months which helped me get rid of some traumatic memories, but things as coming back to the surface after I stopped caffeine 31 days ago. I live in DFW area in Texas, if you have any referrals. Thanks.
This is so timely and validating. Thank you so much Patrick, you are doing incredible work to help untold numbers of us to heal and grow after a lifetime of thinking the entire family dysfunction is our fault because we are the "identified patient / scapegoat."
This is why I love this channel (among other reasons). Remembering childhood trauma can become a bit of a black hole, but it helps so much to have concrete exercises (journaling, inner child meditation, getting a stuffed animal, somatic work suggestions). Also I love the recap videos. I watch them through, every one. They really give me a chance to think deeply about the specific element at hand.
Thankyou Patrick you are doing wonders for others Please look after yourself as you have now included Ukraine's hearts 💕 Performance reviews are a way of ensuring subordinates to compete against each other for exceptance, Or a way to reject differences in a working Culture. This is a tragically cold hard way to get rid of an individual legally by signing a paper. Again thanks for your honesty and good advice. Please look after yourself. XXX
Yes sir well spoken !!!!!!! Cptsd , trauma and anxiety have almost ruined my life because of these symptoms I ended up in the shelter without even realizing it at all!!! I shouldn't be living in the shelter at all I deserve better place than that because I know my worth and value etc....
Thanks, Patrick! I was picking up the backyard a couple days ago, and reflected on how crappy my childhood was, the trauma and all that, and I realized via “shifting” the “blame and shame” feeling, to “well, at least it was me and not my younger sibling”. And I just bawled my eyes out, loud breathing like saved from drowning. Just- weeping. And it felt so good to see it from another pov. I’m in therapy, I’m okay, I made it. Knowing how I’ve suffered quietly daily for 30 years… I wouldn’t want anyone to feel this. And this morning, I did a speaking to the inner child exercise and wept again. My mind said: “with these cards you’ve been dealt, how will you help others?” I dunno! We shall see.
I can’t thank you enough for your channel. My mother is so invalidating and recently I had a very triggering conversation with her. Having these videos helps me unpack and process my feeling. Thank you!
Hey Patrick! I truly do appreciate finding your channel online and all of the expert and compassionate content you share with us in here. It is definitely triggering to try and watch every video. But I have a special feeling about this one and will watch it when I find the quiet time and record the journal prompts to work with them. Thank you so much! 😊🙏✨
I’m reading the comments without sound. I never forgot the events. Well, except one. It haunted me in my dreams. I often turn to this channel- with sound off. Fear. I guess. I remember the event Horrible. Incest.
Patrick, I always ALWAYS know I want to watch your videos because I always learn something about myself, but I usually need to give myself some time to build up to them because I know I need to be in the right headspace. I hope it’s not negatively affecting your analytics. Thank you for the work you do and for using this platform to educate us.
I feel the same way. I try to start a video because it sounds very helpful and interesting but my mind keeps drifting away. I catch myself five minutes in and I have no idea what's been said. So I try again but the same thing happens that's when I know I need to try again later when I'll be more prepared to focus.
Great prompts. Great idea and to match up with the links, very very helpful for a difficult task. I believe I’m too old now but can see how amazing to have had these resources when younger.
If someone has questions during the live webinar, do they have to speak them or can they type them? Some people still live with their abusive families and it will be best not to be overheard.
Patrick, your content is the most helpful in my healing. Thank you × infinity × a zillion!!! I am definitely going to watch the whole way through and then go back and work on the prompts. Thank you, again.
Dear Patrick, I really resonate, how you adress that sometimes also people other than therapists can be immensely supportive and that it's the empathy and awareness around trauma, that is key. I wanted to ask You, if you could do something around the other supportive aspects of healing from CPTSD other than therapeutic sessions. For example I found it so elemental to take certain phytotherapy and supplements/medication, thar gives me a ground of serotonin and dopamin to even have the energy and confidence to work on myself. Also creating everyday habits by habit tracking is so key. A minimal lifestyle helps me to not be overwhelmed. I think, that CPTSD is so profoundly wired into our bodies and nervous systems and brain chemistry, thar I felt to rewire that, to lay put the foundation for capacity to work on triggers and relationships aso was key. I'd love to hear, how others experience that abd what methods and aspects you see beyond therapy.
Have you covered the malignant narcecssistic parent, the ones who are aggressive and abusive on a mental, emotional and phyisical and who seem to enjoy causing the pain they inflict, a mother for instance?
Smiles I still Struggle "Wanting" to Do Journaling LoL Though Without a Doubt It Does Help in so Many Ways (Like Working out and Eating Well) Going back Noticing Patterns, Where You think is a good Place to Focus improving on Next, and Dumping out those Pestersome Ruminations.
I am so grateful for this channel beyond belief. I've only had luck so far with getting assigned to a clinical social worker to start my recovery it seems all over again. After cutting the last of my family off in November of last year I've been trying to see what kind of mental health I can get. My goal now has been to really tackle my childhood trauma and my possible ADHD so my future will be much easier and forgiving. My coverage hasn't really given me what I would love which would be a therapist that specializes in CBT therapy and childhood trauma but this channel has helped me immensely in the mean time. Thank you so much.
If you haven't saw it already "How to ADHD" CZcams channel has a lot of helpful tips for living with ADHD and the host is female. (might be more helpful to relate since it displays itself different in the sexes usually)
Every time i journal writing to my inner child i like to read it out loud but i have to make a million pauses cause i just start crying 😢 i am so sorry someone decided to hurt an innocent child that didnt deserve it
As with many of your videos, I wonder how in the heck you found the book of my life. SOOO many things resonate with me on such a deep level. The performance review one is hitting especially hard right now because I have one coming up. They pretty much want you to give a dissertation on why you deserve a raise. It gives me panic attacks to think about, and I'm really considering calling a therapist about it, even though I feel ridiculous getting so worked up over it. All growing up I was constantly attacked for having basic needs, and the phrases "What makes you think you deserve X thing?" and "Tell me why you think you deserve X thing" were always used. Thing was, I was never told what I had to do TO deserve X! This is only my second review at this job, and I almost quit from the first one I was so stressed over it. It's comforting in an odd way to hear my feelings and fears about it validated.
You are doing such amazing work. Thank you once again for putting these resources out here on CZcams..it’s such an accessible way for me to continue my healing work, even when I can’t get to therapy regularly.
I want to say thank you I subscribed right away after watching another video before this one I wrote down everything and started journaling and just like that I felt like I was 11 years old again. I really just wanted to hug myself thank you for taking the time To make these videos.
What can you do while you’re still in the toxic family system to start healing ? I am disabled can’t live on my own I am unfortunately stuck here in this hell and I’m slowly but surely dying from all the pain that I am enduring while being here. But I don’t want to. I am also finding myself more than often lashing out as well doing reactional abuse. That’s not who I want to be. Also what should I do in emergency situations? How can I protect my inner self ? My adoptee mother is codependent enabler to my malignant narc / golden child adopted brother and I’m the scapegoat dumping pit highly sensitive highly empathic
This sounds like a tough situation, to say the least. I was scapegoated by my family, too, yet it was nothing like what you describe. I'm so sorry. The only thing I can think of is for you to learn to meditate; this would give you your private (head) space and it could lead to better inner calmness. If your thoughts race by, cut the meditation down from 15 minutes to 10 or 5 until you can stay with it daily. There are many meditation instructional videos available on CZcams. Meditation helped calm me down in a troubling marriage situation; anger is often justified, but it helps to not feel easily triggered. Best Wishes to you...I really hope you give it a go.
❤ I recommend finding an AA group online or preferably in person. Some women's shelters can help if you are a woman. This is worst case scenario and I feel for you.
@@kirstinstrand6292 it really is.. and I don’t want to become like them .. thank you 💕 I wish to have a family one day but I am so damaged I’m easy prey for narcs and psychopaths so I stay celibate. People always think adoption is such a help and good thing but they never think of toxic family systems like the one I am in. Wouldn’t wish that on my biggest enemy
@@DawnDreams unfortunately where I live places like these don’t exist. We only have women shelters but I’d need someone to drive me there and they only keep you for a week and if you’re disabled and need more help they usually deny access since they’re already overwhelmed. I’ve tried finding help but I’m in a cage. I’ve been retraumatized over and over again by psychologist and I feel so alone with everything. My mom conditioned me to believe for 25 years that I am the problem until I did find out and educate myself on narcissism scapegoats golden child etc. it took me a while to understand I wasn’t born as a bad baby but they failed me. Being rejected as baby by my birthmother is one of her favorite arguments, but she has no problem ignoring my brothers 3 rd attempted murder. Thank you for your comment 💕
Great video and discussion....as an educator - I urge you to provide the prompts in a list for visual learners. It can be great to listen to both while having the written questions to attend to while pausing the video or after...thanks for considering my suggestion.....
YES! Thank you for what you said about performance reviews! One place I worked required me to select a handful of coworkers and a handful of people connected to the organization to send these questionnaires. A coworker put down that I answered the phone too quickly - because she actually had no complaints, but felt compelled to put something in the where to improve section. So my boss and the personnel committe saw this, and my boss talked to me about it and made me go talk to the coworker to get specifics on how to improve, and I had to write some bs goal of answering on the third ring instead of the second. What a degrading waste of everyone's time! And if there IS a concern, there should be compassionate and cooperative action taken at that time, not some annual review that may or may not happen on time.
How would you deal with a situation where there are no extended relatives for advocacy and the mom (trauma specialist are quite sure she has bad NPD) and with the scapegoat and golden child where the GC is bragging about being a sadist and thinks the abuse is great and has no remorse and laughs about it and is allowed to, he gets advocacy for getting to abuse. You can't have a therapeutic environment with a Cluster B type they will only learn to take advantage worse, you can't show them you are vulnerable and they even kill pets for a laugh. It's not safe.
Thank you Patrick. You explain things so well. Your voice is comforting. Im so happy i found your channel. I am wondering if you can offer more questions for me to ask my inner child as i start journaling? Thank you for what your'e doing. 3 hours today with you has been far more beneficial than counseling, so far at least. ❤
Yes with the microwave beep vol!! You get my low threshold for noise, I could go on and on, a person's car engine going with out moving for a long time, or worse, a semi. Then there is smell. When I was little, my mom would open the fridge to start dinner, and I had to hold my nose, not to throw up. Smells like cold food, opening a can of soup would gag me, or cold meatloaf. My mom tortured me with eating it on sandwiches and the smacking noise her mouth made, or her gulping coffee on the phone, or smacking gum. She is asbergers I think, because she doesn't, didn't used to before I cut her off, have awareness of boundaries nor want any. I was to like and dislike as she wanted me to including agree with her about anything, bash my dad with her, then send me force me to go stay a week with him. I feel like she used me as her doll to play with and ignored I was a full autonomous being even still. I stood up to her once, and she screamed at me that I talk too much. Last words I ever heard and she's 85.
That's interesting about the noise part.. my mom had this burping problem and she would just like randomly belch all the time multiple times in a row and I literally could not stand to hear it I would plug my ears when I would see/hear her getting ready to burp. But yet it didn't seem to bother any of my brothers...
I love what you said about management and performance reviews 👍👍👍👍 I agree! Anyways, the whole video is just amazing, your views, explanations and tips are great.
Hello Patrick I'm so appreciative and grateful to hear your thoughts and truths about how difficult it is to find a practioner. I have struggled immensely through life not being able to really connect to a therapist who could really begin to seem to understand that my trauma, addiction brain created deficits in my human development that have shown up in having slow processing of Auditory inputs and my father never could speak and behave with any shred of kindness in modeling any of the life skills that are expected to function in a healthy manner. I'm praying for getting myself started and committed to greatly reducing such a destructive force.
I'm having a hard time identifying the prompts -- are the prompts when you ask a question? I'm more than. Halfway through the video and I've only caught two prompts so far.
I finally exposed my mother and toxic family dynamics. I think maybe my siblings do get it now but still they're like it's not that bad, just move on. Of course that's all l can do, what's done is done, my toxic parent isn't going to change
writing about my parents meeting my needs made me tear up… 😢 my dad meets my emotional needs because we talk every day and he’s always so nice to me, on the phone and when we meet in person.. my mom has done so much for me in my life she’s an amazing mother she provided for us she worked two jobs as a single mom, she even donated her kidney to me but she’s so mean and angry most of the time. She verbally abuses everyone and it hurts me, my brother is just like her (mean and vulgar) I know she loves me and I can’t compare her to my father because she’s done so much as a caretaker and he did was he could from afar, I don’t blame her for her anger issues or resentment.. I’m working on not taking it personal and just enjoying her when she’s happy ❤
My spouse checks all the cov narc boxes. I try to be at home as much as possible for my young daughters. I figured all this out about 6 months ago and it has been rough since then. My question is why is she either overbearing or she won’t help at all and expect perfection from them. One day she won’t let one of them shower by themselves. The next day she will give one of them directions to do something. The directions will be awful and hard to understand. Especially for a child. Then their mother will gripe from across the house that they don’t follow directions etc. it’s like she sets them up for failure then complains when they fail. Thanks.
Ask her to go to couples counselling. If she is unwilling to work on your relationship and your ability to raise the children in a consistent manor than divorce may be your only option
I saw a strange image in my head of a woman who looked evil. I don’t know why cuz I have never seen her before. My old therapist told me that my dad was fine and that I was the crazy one. I was in a small town where the therapists were really judgmental. Then they’d compare me to a criminal during a session. I could be a therapist. He had a large painting of him and his wife on the wall of his therapy room. It was strange.
Patrick, I work in mental health (I’m a psychiatrist) and I’d love to get more educated about trauma patients. Are there any lines of psychotherapy and books that you would recommend? Where I live psychoanalysis and CBT are the most popular, but I think they fall short when it comes to these patients (at least second wave CBT, third wave seems better). I’d love to refer my clients to your channel, unfortunately most of them don’t speak English..
I found Acceptance therapy helpful for me. But somethings are hard to accept so learning to lower my expectations of others and myself. I really am learning from Patrick about childhood trauma. How history can repeat itself in family dynamics unless we decide to get help with being stigmatised by people in and around our circle. It’s not weak to have been broken as a child and I should not let shame and guilt of abuse to keep me weak forever. It takes courage to seek help and face perpetrators of those that exploited your vulnerabilities.
He has some resources on his website! IFS, EMDR are very popular on cptsd forums. Also the jungian concepts of inner child / inner adult, psycho dynamics in combination with DBT / CBT pretty common as well. Seems alot of trauma therapists used a mix of modalities depending on their clients and what’s working vs what’s not
Can someone explain to me what the term "Journaling prompts" mean? My English is good but it's not my first language. Does it just mean ideas to write and explore in a journal?
I have a question. I have recieved a lot of helpt thanks to your channel. But i was wondering how one can start changing a negative or toxic mindset and therefor so behaviour. the behaviour is what that person knows. It realy feels like not understanding how to think it in an other way. Wanting to be better then this learned and adapted survival skills i would like to know. Losing people and life chances because of own toxic behaviour is also very painfull. I get this happens but what to do to change and also make others realise this through my own behaviour. have had therapists but they can't answer they say because it is all acceptance and realising they answer. Plus budget for therapy is oke but not never ending. My own parents say i'm to difficult to live with so they say it is better for me not to try live like that normal couple style and let alone live with someone.
As someone who is healing from toxicity myself, I say it’s about increasing your self awareness, listing your toxic traits, and discovering ways to get rid of them to adapt to healthy traits.
Look up some DBT work books. There’s also opposite action therapy which is where you do the opposite of your natural reaction. So If you get upset because someone doesn’t answer back fast enough and usually blow up on them do the opposite and don’t respond. It will take a lot of self discipline and practice but it’s very possible just difficult. Also checkout dr fox he is another channel who talks alot about this stuff on CZcams
Hi Patrick I've been so busy and so sick physically... Therapy didn't seem realistic. Your videos are such a blessing. Thank you for all that you do so freely.
#4 performance reviews You have returned to work and been honest in advising your manager that you have been having some issues and advised them you are on medication for anxiety and depression as an honest explanation as to why your mood could seem flat at times: - at your next performance review your manager decides this months ice breaker is an ink blot test… but it has nothing to do with your mental health issues. You later find out that you were the only staff member that received the ink blot test ice breaker. I reported this the my managers manager and apparently I am just being to sensitive to have such a small thing effect me and I might need to lighten up, also did you think that maybe your medication could be having an effect on your sense of humour. The bullying I suffered in the workplace was horrible, the positive outcome of this though was that getting help for it also meant that I would realise and get help for my childhood trauma. It is amazing the amount of things we can hide from ourselves as a form of self preservation.
My therapist works with trauma but uses CBT and brain spotting. They've been pretty helpful. With the brain spotting though I notice my brain will get mental blocks as soon as I start to get somewhere. Any tips on getting past that? I'm pretty comfortable with my therapist so I don't think that's the problem.
I don't get the point of #2, 7:04 to 9:53. There are no prompt(s)? You seem to just list a few examples of what blindspots may be. The section is titled _3 Relationship Blindspots_ and as far as I can tell the prompt is either _not seeing that others are triggered too_ or _what the blindspot looks like._ How do I write about something I can't see? Why not title these as what the prompt is?
Omg. This might seem like a weird thing to take away from this video but it made me feel so validated when you said that you couldn't meditate until you worked on your childhood trauma first. For so many years I have been told to manage my mental illness by practicing mindfulness and meditating and deep breathing... Yes all of those things are very beneficial... But I strongly feel that they are useless if you haven't addressed your trauma directly first. It takes time to even get to a place where you can practice mindfulness and meditation (at least for me this is true).
When I first tried to Meditate in my 20s, all my eradic thinking interfered with following my breath. I finally thought it was useless. 30 years later I tried meditation again. Everything changed. Thoughts did not flood my mind. An idea to meditate for 5 minutes. Back in the day, no one suggested to break meditation into very small bites. Meditation has many benefits that come with practice. Stay with 5 minutes, daily, until your thoughts stop racing through your head. There is no rush, just stay with it 5 minutes a day, then slowly try 10 minutes daily. Stay with 10 minutes as long as you want to. Give it a try...
Definitely relate to this
Check out Trauma Sensitive Mindfulness. Turns out, 15% of meditation practitioners are harmed doing Mindfulness practices because of underlying trauma. This book & podcast talks about it in depth. Super validating as one of those people. Goodluck
Omg YES!!! If the childhood trauma isnt resolved and/or worked through, youre just a ticking time bomb... You might be able to manage it well for a period of time, maybe even for years, but it WILL always resurface and show its ugly head. You have to know what to do and how to handle it and get past it... If not, you will fall back in the spiral. Validation is so critical in healing. When your entire life has been 1 big gaslight, validation is NECESSARY!
@@DawnDreams tbh I think a lot of that harm stems from the way mindfulness has been co-opted from deep spiritual and religious traditions to being something touted to "increase productivity", even being taught in corporate seminars or similar spaces.
Meditation actually isn't meant to be relaxing first and foremost, it is actually frequently confronting and a lot of harm simply comes from people being unprepared for this. It is sometimes referred to as "the dark night".
This is actually what led to me seeking treatment for my trauma as I hadn't realised how much it was affecting me until I started practicing zazen meditation again as an adult. I was filled with an overwhelming sense of dread and terror at first, and began having more frequent panic attacks and dissociative episodes. While some would see this as harm, because I knew meditation could uncover difficult parts of the self, I embraced this as evidence of healing.
It's not for everyone, of course! So I would never tell anyone they "should" do it. But I just want people to be mindful (lol) of the way mindfulness has become distorted in a Western (coughcapitalistcough) lens.
Bc of your channel I joined a 6 month long, weekly women’s group therapy that targeted codependence and inner child work. It ends in two weeks. I’ve read all of Pia Mellody’s work, a lot of John Bradshaw’s work, and have started working the 12 steps. I am going on a weekend retreat to continue this work in May for gestalt therapy, continued experientials/chair work, and meditation.
The changes in my life, the relationship I’m developing with myself, the progress I’ve made in my depression and anxiety is NIGHT AND DAY! I know I still have work a head of me, but I’ve been in talk therapy for 10+ years and this channel just slung-shot me through another 5 years of work in 9 months. I cannot thank you enough. Really and truly. You’re doing great work here, I am so much happier, and I can’t wait to see how much more fulfilling my life becomes as I continue to reduce shame, increase mindfulness, develops spiritually, and impose healthier boundaries.
I was so in the thick of it this past summer that at 34yo, I was convinced I couldn’t feel shame! Turns out, I had it almost perpetually, and I couldn’t “feel” half my feelings!! My anger is reduced significantly, and my inner adult is in the drivers chair a lot more.
THANK YOU!
Thank you for sharing. You are turning your life around.
Good on you 🤗 Keep going!
That’s amazing!! Can you share more info on this retreat?
I love hearing about other people working through their childhood trauma because it keeps me motivated! I will get through it all someday and have healthy relationships! Yay!
theres a 12 steps for this ?
@@Corina410 there are two, ALANON / ACA and CODA. They have similar step work but ACA is focused on people who grew up with a parent who was an alcoholic / addict. CODA is more for people who grew up with a parent who was not an addict but was personality disordered. Both teach about not being codependent. Both teach about learning how to be ok being alone. Both teach about boundaries etc.
Thankyou for using the language 'good enough' I know I can be a black and white thinker as well as a perfectionist so this is helpful to hear that it can be good enough and still be helpful.
I've been working in corporate for 7 years already. I hate performance reviews. I just hate it. I am always nervous, my stomach aches. I cannot handle criticism well.
The most traumatic review was something called 360 review, meaning that as a manager I was reviewed and assesses by co-workes below me, above me and having the same position as me. Then I had to go through results and analyze them.
It was the most traumatic thing ever. I cried when I was about to open the results. I am always convinced that poeople do not like me :(
Performance reviews are the worst invention ever.
Yes^^ they are so reductionist. Like seriously, a company doesn't improve by perfecting each worker like they are some machine/robot. We are humans with emotions, hard wired needs, and animals at our base nature. Improving business means addressing problems with the needs of all in mind. These reviews are just a tool that fuels worker divide and refocuses system dissatisfaction into threatening coworkers to produce more "or else".
I just wanted to say how much I appreciate this channel. I’ve never seen a therapist more genuinely interested in improving the mental health of people who really need it. There’s nothing wrong with sticking specifically to your private practice, but I don’t have access to therapy, so I just really appreciate all the helpful videos and tips that have a real-world impact
I found a writing from 20 years ago before I knew my Mother was going to DIE in 10 months from cancer. In the end I say, "who knows what will happen"! Here I sit TODAY, BURNING massive collections of photos, I am "burning my pain body"! I am STUCK and have been for a LONG TIME in a past I cannot change and I feel it still rules every waking HOUR of my LIFE!
THIS.
This guy is an absolute Angel
Initially I couldn't see how my parents expected perfection with no help but then I remembered being expected to get myself up and ready for school since 1st grade.. my mom would be so upset if we missed the bus. Another thing I related to was thinking I'm much more flawed than others so I didn't see their flaws.. like my past boss's passive aggressiveness and extreme caretaker codependency went way over my head (even though he told me he can't say "no). I expected that he was perfect but looking back he was definitely triggered a lot.
My boss told me they don't do performance reviews. I was confused by that, but after watching this video, I get why they dont. And im glad!!
About the performance review section:
I had a performance review when I was an insurance coordinator for a dental office. The manager and dentist gave me an unnecessarily critical review, then asked me to do my own review and respond to theirs. I gave myself higher marks than they gave me and said certain things I lacked on were due to poor training and that I'd be more aggressive in seeking better training. The dentist took exception to the word "aggressive". Well, when I ended up quitting soon after , the manager asked me to train my replacement. I was confused since according to her and the dentist I sucked so badly, so I asked what she wanted me to teach the replacement. She responded, "I want you to train them to do EXACTLY what you do!" Because I got claims paid that no insurance coordinator before me could get paid and some other things. Like ?? The whole performance review was a gaslighting exercise so I didn't know how much I was worth.
It just goes to show how pervasive abuse is in our society when places of Healthcare are entrenched in manipulation tactics. I'm so sorry you went through this. It's not right what they did. It's entirely backwards that leaders think unfair criticism will somehow improve business outcomes (like um no...that's just hedge fund owners). Normal or even exceptional people are trashed because they threaten fragile, arbitrary power holds based on exploitation.
I hope you are able to find healthy community 💗🌱
Awful situation, but may I say how awesome you were? You didn’t give yourself a lower grade because of their review, and you defended yourself. And then you quit. And you were sassy when they asked you to train a replacement. That sounds very assertive. You are a complete stranger, but I’m genuinely proud of you 😁
Gross!!!
I am 58 years old and a trauma survivor with CPTSD. I have had many therapists over the years and you totally get me like no one else has. I was wondering if you have a list of therapists that practice the same way that you do? I just went to a psychologist today for a first session and when I told her something I did that was a trauma response, she made a comment that caused me to feel ashamed. I did EMDR for 18 months which helped me get rid of some traumatic memories, but things as coming back to the surface after I stopped caffeine 31 days ago. I live in DFW area in Texas, if you have any referrals. Thanks.
This is so timely and validating. Thank you so much Patrick, you are doing incredible work to help untold numbers of us to heal and grow after a lifetime of thinking the entire family dysfunction is our fault because we are the "identified patient / scapegoat."
Yes!
Being human is all I ask 🧡
This is why I love this channel (among other reasons). Remembering childhood trauma can become a bit of a black hole, but it helps so much to have concrete exercises (journaling, inner child meditation, getting a stuffed animal, somatic work suggestions).
Also I love the recap videos. I watch them through, every one. They really give me a chance to think deeply about the specific element at hand.
Thank you for this. I just recently became unable to afford my therapist and stopped working on myself and I needed this.
Powerful gaslighting statement. Thank you.
Thankyou Patrick you are doing wonders for others
Please look after yourself as you have now included Ukraine's hearts 💕
Performance reviews are a way of ensuring subordinates to compete against each other for exceptance,
Or a way to reject differences in a working Culture.
This is a tragically cold hard way to get rid of an individual legally by signing a paper.
Again thanks for your honesty and good advice.
Please look after yourself. XXX
Yes sir well spoken !!!!!!! Cptsd , trauma and anxiety have almost ruined my life because of these symptoms I ended up in the shelter without even realizing it at all!!! I shouldn't be living in the shelter at all I deserve better place than that because I know my worth and value etc....
Thanks, Patrick!
I was picking up the backyard a couple days ago, and reflected on how crappy my childhood was, the trauma and all that, and I realized via “shifting” the “blame and shame” feeling, to “well, at least it was me and not my younger sibling”. And I just bawled my eyes out, loud breathing like saved from drowning. Just- weeping. And it felt so good to see it from another pov. I’m in therapy, I’m okay, I made it. Knowing how I’ve suffered quietly daily for 30 years… I wouldn’t want anyone to feel this. And this morning, I did a speaking to the inner child exercise and wept again. My mind said: “with these cards you’ve been dealt, how will you help others?” I dunno! We shall see.
These should be a good supplement to the Accelerated Resolution Therapy I’ve been doing. Thank you for sharing your work so generously.
I've been doing ART in therapy, and I really like it. It seems more image based than EMDR, which for me helps it feel a little less daunting.
I can’t thank you enough for your channel. My mother is so invalidating and recently I had a very triggering conversation with her. Having these videos helps me unpack and process my feeling. Thank you!
The performance review at work always get me 😭
The bit about performance reviews? 👌 If I have to have one, I'd want it to be Patrick.
Hey Patrick! I truly do appreciate finding your channel online and all of the expert and compassionate content you share with us in here. It is definitely triggering to try and watch every video. But I have a special feeling about this one and will watch it when I find the quiet time and record the journal prompts to work with them. Thank you so much! 😊🙏✨
I’m reading the comments without sound. I never forgot the events. Well, except one. It haunted me in my dreams. I often turn to this channel- with sound off. Fear. I guess. I remember the event Horrible. Incest.
Thank you for being so thorough 👍
The frustration I've felt from those performance reviews by my former employer was overwhelming. Being compared and judged triggered me
Thank you Patrick! This is so helpful!
Patrick, I always ALWAYS know I want to watch your videos because I always learn something about myself, but I usually need to give myself some time to build up to them because I know I need to be in the right headspace. I hope it’s not negatively affecting your analytics. Thank you for the work you do and for using this platform to educate us.
I feel the same way. I try to start a video because it sounds very helpful and interesting but my mind keeps drifting away. I catch myself five minutes in and I have no idea what's been said. So I try again but the same thing happens that's when I know I need to try again later when I'll be more prepared to focus.
Great prompts. Great idea and to match up with the links, very very helpful for a difficult task. I believe I’m too old now but can see how amazing to have had these resources when younger.
If someone has questions during the live webinar, do they have to speak them or can they type them? Some people still live with their abusive families and it will be best not to be overheard.
💯
^^^^^^^!
Thank you for the video. It helps me so much to be aware of my tantrums and unhappy life
Patrick, your content is the most helpful in my healing. Thank you × infinity × a zillion!!! I am definitely going to watch the whole way through and then go back and work on the prompts. Thank you, again.
This is very very thoughtful and USEFUL! Thank you so much
Dear Patrick, I really resonate, how you adress that sometimes also people other than therapists can be immensely supportive and that it's the empathy and awareness around trauma, that is key.
I wanted to ask You, if you could do something around the other supportive aspects of healing from CPTSD other than therapeutic sessions. For example I found it so elemental to take certain phytotherapy and supplements/medication, thar gives me a ground of serotonin and dopamin to even have the energy and confidence to work on myself. Also creating everyday habits by habit tracking is so key. A minimal lifestyle helps me to not be overwhelmed. I think, that CPTSD is so profoundly wired into our bodies and nervous systems and brain chemistry, thar I felt to rewire that, to lay put the foundation for capacity to work on triggers and relationships aso was key. I'd love to hear, how others experience that abd what methods and aspects you see beyond therapy.
Have you covered the malignant narcecssistic parent, the ones who are aggressive and abusive on a mental, emotional and phyisical and who seem to enjoy causing the pain they inflict, a mother for instance?
I love journaling. It helps so much. :)
Smiles I still Struggle "Wanting" to Do Journaling LoL
Though Without a Doubt It Does Help in so Many Ways (Like Working out and Eating Well)
Going back Noticing Patterns, Where You think is a good Place to Focus improving on Next, and Dumping out those Pestersome Ruminations.
You give me so much hope. I'm thinking of taking anger management classes or counseling.
Awesome!
Thank You for the Lovely Flowers 💐
Gratefulness
I am so grateful for this channel beyond belief. I've only had luck so far with getting assigned to a clinical social worker to start my recovery it seems all over again. After cutting the last of my family off in November of last year I've been trying to see what kind of mental health I can get. My goal now has been to really tackle my childhood trauma and my possible ADHD so my future will be much easier and forgiving. My coverage hasn't really given me what I would love which would be a therapist that specializes in CBT therapy and childhood trauma but this channel has helped me immensely in the mean time. Thank you so much.
If you haven't saw it already "How to ADHD" CZcams channel has a lot of helpful tips for living with ADHD and the host is female. (might be more helpful to relate since it displays itself different in the sexes usually)
Every time i journal writing to my inner child i like to read it out loud but i have to make a million pauses cause i just start crying 😢 i am so sorry someone decided to hurt an innocent child that didnt deserve it
As with many of your videos, I wonder how in the heck you found the book of my life. SOOO many things resonate with me on such a deep level. The performance review one is hitting especially hard right now because I have one coming up. They pretty much want you to give a dissertation on why you deserve a raise. It gives me panic attacks to think about, and I'm really considering calling a therapist about it, even though I feel ridiculous getting so worked up over it. All growing up I was constantly attacked for having basic needs, and the phrases "What makes you think you deserve X thing?" and "Tell me why you think you deserve X thing" were always used. Thing was, I was never told what I had to do TO deserve X! This is only my second review at this job, and I almost quit from the first one I was so stressed over it. It's comforting in an odd way to hear my feelings and fears about it validated.
Thank you for these prompts! I’ve been looking for something to help me in my journaling with my inner child. 😀
I was nine and I asked my dad for help with my science project. He looked at me, walked by me and said no! I was so hurt by my diabolical father.😅❤
Thank you so much for all your videos!
You are a great entertainer! :)
I feel like a huge water balloon that wants to pop, but you slowly allow the water out one video at a time. Thank you, Patrick!
Namaste🦋🌈🙏🎉
🌙 🧚♀️ 🌞
You are doing such amazing work. Thank you once again for putting these resources out here on CZcams..it’s such an accessible way for me to continue my healing work, even when I can’t get to therapy regularly.
I want to say thank you I subscribed right away after watching another video before this one I wrote down everything and started journaling and just like that I felt like I was 11 years old again. I really just wanted to hug myself thank you for taking the time To make these videos.
What can you do while you’re still in the toxic family system to start healing ? I am disabled can’t live on my own I am unfortunately stuck here in this hell and I’m slowly but surely dying from all the pain that I am enduring while being here. But I don’t want to. I am also finding myself more than often lashing out as well doing reactional abuse. That’s not who I want to be. Also what should I do in emergency situations? How can I protect my inner self ? My adoptee mother is codependent enabler to my malignant narc / golden child adopted brother and I’m the scapegoat dumping pit highly sensitive highly empathic
THIS.
This sounds like a tough situation, to say the least. I was scapegoated by my family, too, yet it was nothing like what you describe. I'm so sorry. The only thing I can think of is for you to learn to meditate; this would give you your private (head) space and it could lead to better inner calmness. If your thoughts race by, cut the meditation down from 15 minutes to 10 or 5 until you can stay with it daily. There are many meditation instructional videos available on CZcams. Meditation helped calm me down in a troubling marriage situation; anger is often justified, but it helps to not feel easily triggered. Best Wishes to you...I really hope you give it a go.
❤ I recommend finding an AA group online or preferably in person. Some women's shelters can help if you are a woman. This is worst case scenario and I feel for you.
@@kirstinstrand6292 it really is.. and I don’t want to become like them .. thank you 💕 I wish to have a family one day but I am so damaged I’m easy prey for narcs and psychopaths so I stay celibate. People always think adoption is such a help and good thing but they never think of toxic family systems like the one I am in. Wouldn’t wish that on my biggest enemy
@@DawnDreams unfortunately where I live places like these don’t exist. We only have women shelters but I’d need someone to drive me there and they only keep you for a week and if you’re disabled and need more help they usually deny access since they’re already overwhelmed. I’ve tried finding help but I’m in a cage. I’ve been retraumatized over and over again by psychologist and I feel so alone with everything. My mom conditioned me to believe for 25 years that I am the problem until I did find out and educate myself on narcissism scapegoats golden child etc. it took me a while to understand I wasn’t born as a bad baby but they failed me. Being rejected as baby by my birthmother is one of her favorite arguments, but she has no problem ignoring my brothers 3 rd attempted murder.
Thank you for your comment 💕
Always great and tangible content! Looking forward to April 9th, already purchased :) Best wishes.
really enjoy all the content and the genuine challenge and value i get. much appreciated
Great video and discussion....as an educator - I urge you to provide the prompts in a list for visual learners. It can be great to listen to both while having the written questions to attend to while pausing the video or after...thanks for considering my suggestion.....
So glad to find this!
thank u so so so much
YES! Thank you for what you said about performance reviews! One place I worked required me to select a handful of coworkers and a handful of people connected to the organization to send these questionnaires. A coworker put down that I answered the phone too quickly - because she actually had no complaints, but felt compelled to put something in the where to improve section. So my boss and the personnel committe saw this, and my boss talked to me about it and made me go talk to the coworker to get specifics on how to improve, and I had to write some bs goal of answering on the third ring instead of the second. What a degrading waste of everyone's time! And if there IS a concern, there should be compassionate and cooperative action taken at that time, not some annual review that may or may not happen on time.
How would you deal with a situation where there are no extended relatives for advocacy and the mom (trauma specialist are quite sure she has bad NPD) and with the scapegoat and golden child where the GC is bragging about being a sadist and thinks the abuse is great and has no remorse and laughs about it and is allowed to, he gets advocacy for getting to abuse. You can't have a therapeutic environment with a Cluster B type they will only learn to take advantage worse, you can't show them you are vulnerable and they even kill pets for a laugh. It's not safe.
Thank you 🙏
I’m doing EMDR Therapy for C-PTSD and Adult Sexual Assaults and Intimately Betrayal Trauma and Financial Betrayal
Thank you Patrick. You explain things so well. Your voice is comforting. Im so happy i found your channel. I am wondering if you can offer more questions for me to ask my inner child as i start journaling? Thank you for what your'e doing. 3 hours today with you has been far more beneficial than counseling, so far at least. ❤
was waiting for this. Much love
Thank you, thank you. Always enlightening ✌️❤️
Thanking you, will watch later 🤗
Yes with the microwave beep vol!!
You get my low threshold for noise, I could go on and on, a person's car engine going with out moving for a long time, or worse, a semi. Then there is smell. When I was little, my mom would open the fridge to start dinner, and I had to hold my nose, not to throw up. Smells like cold food, opening a can of soup would gag me, or cold meatloaf. My mom tortured me with eating it on sandwiches and the smacking noise her mouth made, or her gulping coffee on the phone, or smacking gum. She is asbergers I think, because she doesn't, didn't used to before I cut her off, have awareness of boundaries nor want any. I was to like and dislike as she wanted me to including agree with her about anything, bash my dad with her, then send me force me to go stay a week with him. I feel like she used me as her doll to play with and ignored I was a full autonomous being even still. I stood up to her once, and she screamed at me that I talk too much. Last words I ever heard and she's 85.
That's interesting about the noise part.. my mom had this burping problem and she would just like randomly belch all the time multiple times in a row and I literally could not stand to hear it I would plug my ears when I would see/hear her getting ready to burp. But yet it didn't seem to bother any of my brothers...
I love what you said about management and performance reviews 👍👍👍👍 I agree!
Anyways, the whole video is just amazing, your views, explanations and tips are great.
Hello Patrick I'm so appreciative and grateful to hear your thoughts and truths about how difficult it is to find a practioner. I have struggled immensely through life not being able to really connect to a therapist who could really begin to seem to understand that my trauma, addiction brain created deficits in my human development that have shown up in having slow processing of Auditory inputs and my father never could speak and behave with any shred of kindness in modeling any of the life skills that are expected to function in a healthy manner. I'm praying for getting myself started and committed to greatly reducing such a destructive force.
I hope you may be at ease too 💗😊
I'm having a hard time identifying the prompts -- are the prompts when you ask a question? I'm more than. Halfway through the video and I've only caught two prompts so far.
All the questions I'm saying are the prompts.
💯 💯💯💯
I finally exposed my mother and toxic family dynamics. I think maybe my siblings do get it now but still they're like it's not that bad, just move on. Of course that's all l can do, what's done is done, my toxic parent isn't going to change
Could you talk about how attachment disorders carry over from childhood into adulthood and what it looks like?
search through my videos
writing about my parents meeting my needs made me tear up… 😢 my dad meets my emotional needs because we talk every day and he’s always so nice to me, on the phone and when we meet in person.. my mom has done so much for me in my life she’s an amazing mother she provided for us she worked two jobs as a single mom, she even donated her kidney to me but she’s so mean and angry most of the time. She verbally abuses everyone and it hurts me, my brother is just like her (mean and vulgar) I know she loves me and I can’t compare her to my father because she’s done so much as a caretaker and he did was he could from afar, I don’t blame her for her anger issues or resentment.. I’m working on not taking it personal and just enjoying her when she’s happy ❤
My spouse checks all the cov narc boxes. I try to be at home as much as possible for my young daughters. I figured all this out about 6 months ago and it has been rough since then. My question is why is she either overbearing or she won’t help at all and expect perfection from them.
One day she won’t let one of them shower by themselves. The next day she will give one of them directions to do something. The directions will be awful and hard to understand. Especially for a child. Then their mother will gripe from across the house that they don’t follow directions etc. it’s like she sets them up for failure then complains when they fail.
Thanks.
Ask her to go to couples counselling. If she is unwilling to work on your relationship and your ability to raise the children in a consistent manor than divorce may be your only option
Where are the journaling prompts?
I saw a strange image in my head of a woman who looked evil. I don’t know why cuz I have never seen her before. My old therapist told me that my dad was fine and that I was the crazy one. I was in a small town where the therapists were really judgmental. Then they’d compare me to a criminal during a session. I could be a therapist. He had a large painting of him and his wife on the wall of his therapy room. It was strange.
Patrick, I work in mental health (I’m a psychiatrist) and I’d love to get more educated about trauma patients. Are there any lines of psychotherapy and books that you would recommend? Where I live psychoanalysis and CBT are the most popular, but I think they fall short when it comes to these patients (at least second wave CBT, third wave seems better). I’d love to refer my clients to your channel, unfortunately most of them don’t speak English..
@Amy Ritchie thank you! I’m already checking that up
I found Acceptance therapy helpful for me. But somethings are hard to accept so learning to lower my expectations of others and myself. I really am learning from Patrick about childhood trauma. How history can repeat itself in family dynamics unless we decide to get help with being stigmatised by people in and around our circle. It’s not weak to have been broken as a child and I should not let shame and guilt of abuse to keep me weak forever. It takes courage to seek help and face perpetrators of those that exploited your vulnerabilities.
He has some resources on his website! IFS, EMDR are very popular on cptsd forums. Also the jungian concepts of inner child / inner adult, psycho dynamics in combination with DBT / CBT pretty common as well. Seems alot of trauma therapists used a mix of modalities depending on their clients and what’s working vs what’s not
Can someone explain to me what the term "Journaling prompts" mean? My English is good but it's not my first language. Does it just mean ideas to write and explore in a journal?
I have a question. I have recieved a lot of helpt thanks to your channel. But i was wondering how one can start changing a negative or toxic mindset and therefor so behaviour. the behaviour is what that person knows. It realy feels like not understanding how to think it in an other way. Wanting to be better then this learned and adapted survival skills i would like to know. Losing people and life chances because of own toxic behaviour is also very painfull. I get this happens but what to do to change and also make others realise this through my own behaviour. have had therapists but they can't answer they say because it is all acceptance and realising they answer. Plus budget for therapy is oke but not never ending. My own parents say i'm to difficult to live with so they say it is better for me not to try live like that normal couple style and let alone live with someone.
As someone who is healing from toxicity myself, I say it’s about increasing your self awareness, listing your toxic traits, and discovering ways to get rid of them to adapt to healthy traits.
@@empirelyricschannel thank you for your answer.
Look up some DBT work books. There’s also opposite action therapy which is where you do the opposite of your natural reaction. So If you get upset because someone doesn’t answer back fast enough and usually blow up on them do the opposite and don’t respond. It will take a lot of self discipline and practice but it’s very possible just difficult. Also checkout dr fox he is another channel who talks alot about this stuff on CZcams
✨💕
Could you also talk about family trauma/abuse when being on the spectrum
what would you recommend for those who are averse to journaling because of trauma of privacy being violated surrounding diaries being read
What about voice memos on your phone ?
Hi Patrick
I've been so busy and so sick physically... Therapy didn't seem realistic. Your videos are such a blessing. Thank you for all that you do so freely.
#4 performance reviews
You have returned to work and been honest in advising your manager that you have been having some issues and advised them you are on medication for anxiety and depression as an honest explanation as to why your mood could seem flat at times:
- at your next performance review your manager decides this months ice breaker is an ink blot test… but it has nothing to do with your mental health issues.
You later find out that you were the only staff member that received the ink blot test ice breaker.
I reported this the my managers manager and apparently I am just being to sensitive to have such a small thing effect me and I might need to lighten up, also did you think that maybe your medication could be having an effect on your sense of humour.
The bullying I suffered in the workplace was horrible, the positive outcome of this though was that getting help for it also meant that I would realise and get help for my childhood trauma. It is amazing the amount of things we can hide from ourselves as a form of self preservation.
10:40
My therapist works with trauma but uses CBT and brain spotting. They've been pretty helpful. With the brain spotting though I notice my brain will get mental blocks as soon as I start to get somewhere. Any tips on getting past that? I'm pretty comfortable with my therapist so I don't think that's the problem.
Can I work with you?
With the webinar will I have the ability to play it back ?
I second this.
In practice, what should I write ? These are just prompt I know, but I'm watching this blank page in front of me and I don't know where to start ^^"
I don't get the point of #2, 7:04 to 9:53. There are no prompt(s)? You seem to just list a few examples of what blindspots may be. The section is titled _3 Relationship Blindspots_ and as far as I can tell the prompt is either _not seeing that others are triggered too_ or _what the blindspot looks like._ How do I write about something I can't see? Why not title these as what the prompt is?
Hsp???? Don’t know what this stands for.
Highly sensitive person