Immigration Courts: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO)
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- čas přidán 31. 03. 2018
- America’s dysfunctional immigration court system forces many children to appear in court alone. That’s as ridiculous in real life as it would be on a courtroom television show.
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USA:
Having sex with someone under 16/18: HELL NO!
Drinking alcohol under 21: HELL NO!
Representing yourself in court as a 4 year-old: Sure, why not.
whuzzzup Logic is overrated anyways
whuzzzup dude it's the greatest country in the world don't say that
USA USA USA!
Mac Mcskullface is this real??? do they actually make people under 18 not allowed to watch porn ?????? You thought I'm gonna say guns right nooo it's USA
whuzzzup murricaaaaaa fuck yeahhhh
America : "3 years old can understand immigration law and defend themselves in court."
Also America : "17 years old can't argue about gun laws, it's an adult topic."
But 18 to go to war
And 15 to get married in Utah
and under 10 to get molested by a priest.
And a newborn to get circumcised
And brain dead to comment on youtube.
I'd watch Tot Bench omg
EposVox we need Tot Bench to be a real thing
it's like a show that doesn't need a script but is full of twists and turns regardless
tbh I'd watch any show featuring toddlers in charge.
@@israellai Which basically sums up toddlers in a nutshell. ;D
Especially if Archer is getting canned 😂
I’ve come back to this episode to say, WE FUCKING GOT THEM! My father and grandmother are now COMPLETELY OFFICIAL LEGAL CITIZENS OF THE US! It’s been a long 16 years, going to courts and barely getting to see my dad because of how much he and my grandmother worked for it, but I can now say happily, we’ve done it. My grandfather is probably smiling at us from up above seeing my entire family happy we did it considering we were doing it for him and my grandmother but he passed away before we could even get halfway through the process. Let me tell you all in the comments, this shit was some of the most stressful kinds of stuff I ever had to see and deal with, PLEASE if there’s any kind of law or bill that seems to be on the ballot, PLEASE I beg of you as a fellow American, HELP YOUR FELLOW MAN!
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!🎉🎉🎉🎉
Felicitaciones hermano, tu familia lo logró!!!
!Absolutemente!
I sure will!!
!Felicidades!
If 3-4 year olds understand immigration law, then clearly they should be sent to university rather than to some other country
The Logan nope then the children should be made judges instead of that judge.
That'd be grt if their lives weren't in danger where they originally came from. TF.
Everyone talks about that part, but what impacted me the most is HOW THE F*CK CAN A COURT NOT BE PART OF THE JUDICIARY?????!!! It's a clear violation of the separation of powers. And as far a I know this is not done in any other modern democracy.
"that's the America I know, and I promise ya, you're gonna be confused by it"
No. The US government doesn't want immigrants who can read or write, let alone understand the law.
I remember a segment on Fox News a couple years ago where they were also agreeing that a 3 year old is old enough to represent themselves in court. Which is great because they have also recently held the position that the Parkland students shouldn't be trying to influence gun policy with their opinions because they are just mostly 15 to 17 year olds.
Faux News!
So they're old enough to represent themselves but should never be trusted or taken seriously enough to do anything important like say... represent themselves...? Sigh.
Why you gotta go there
"Kids should stop eating tide pods lmao"
*the kids plan world-wide marches to implement gun control and create awareness*
"Wait no not like that"
its like that joke from family guy how Rush Limbaguh convinced Brian was a liberal by saying there was a 3 year old executed in Texas and when he expresses shock he's like "see your concern for others betrays you"
My man is back!!!!!!!
I would legitimately watch a court show run by toddlers.
I would watch them everyday of my life until the very end! 🤣
Lol same they're too cute & funny
Let’s not even mention that most of these people can’t speak fluent English. Even if they were adults that could inform themselves good luck finding it in a decent translation.
This is so sad to see and that these people have to go through this and be treated as criminals when they’re just trying to be safe.
@jack Maher - And yet it is not illegal to present at an official port of entry for asylum as was the case of the woman whose appeal we heard in this video.
jack Maher then can we create a clearer and easier way of immigrating legally?
but is it sad enough for you to do anything about it? anything at all? at all? anything....? at... all?
The courts actually use good interpreters. The hearing asks four questions. Republican politicians export policies that make those countries into fascist dictatorships, so naturally everyone without a hand in the till seeks to flee.
Simultaneous interpreters are provided at your expense, just like in 1908.
"You've been doing this for 14 years, but you're 4."
"Ugghh yeaaah."
Too perfect. XD
Tacet the Terror every job interview's requirements
Judge Riley should be a national treasure
It reminds me of when a girl around 3 or 4 told me her birthday was soon and when I asked he how old she was turning her answer was "24"
This here is a qualified judge, yessiree.
"You've been doing this for 14 years, but you're 4."
"Ugghh yeaaah."
now we know at which level the donald is operating
*John Oliver:* "Remember, Slenderman already loves you the way you are."
*That **_one_** audience member:* "Aww."
"Mr. peanut domestic violence" is now the third google autofill result for "Mr. peanut" 😂
That was fast.
the second one is now death. because they fucking killed him off in a commercial.
It appeared on the bottom of my auto fill result
grdgrgr
I'm getting flash backs to "Papers Please"...
Glory to ArzTOTzka.
@@fredarok579 Long live the Potato man.
*GLORY TO COBRASTAN*
Glory to USA!
Denied your immigration in this country that was founded by immigrants
DETAINED!!!
We need full season of Tot Bench.
The 1000 Degree Knife vs Immigration Courts Video Is Taking A While Huh?
I would watch it. HA HA
MrGear i would actually watch that
MrGear you would care more about that than the injustice in this country!
You can care about injustice and realize tot court is really funny.
Teach a 3 or 4 year old immigration law? There truly is no hope for us.
If the 70-year-old in the White House doesn't understand it (he thinks people are still coming here for DACA, which is impossible), I doubt that a four-year-old will understand it, either.
I know... If only their parents wouldn't have been irresponsible and put them in that situation. We need to send illegal immigrants back with their kids. I don't want to split up families.
did you even watch the video? this is the responsible thing to bring them here. its dangerous back home and i guess you may not be for splitting up families, but for killing children then.
Brandon Hernandez they don't understand what that family is going through back in their country so it's easy for those guys to say get out and get a visa and so on but I can guarantee you that if thier families where threaten to death by some serious gang members (like in most south American countries) they would look to flee the country, I can almost guarantee you that those people saying get a visa and get out and so on would do the same as those people
So we should allow every person who says "they're going to kill me" stay? great system. Expect the number of people who say they'll be killed if they go back to their home country to go up.
The more absurd reality gets, the more I want to laugh and cry at this channel. Hilarious, and absolutely devastating. How is this real?
Im just imagining a kid who is already old enough to kinda get immigration law (about 14 and up) say the following:
Judge: Would you like to designate a preferred country of removal?
Kid: Yes
J: And which one is that?
Kid: The United States of America
*kid dabs*
Ákos Ragályi I have so many friends who would 100% pull something like this
And then that kid would die because nobody likes a smart ass. XD
that's what we like to call in the legal profession, uno reverse card clause.
@@Ubermensch9240 Not for nothing, but a smart ass of that caliber deserves to stay with us in the US. :)
@@Wysewolf Yeah. Yeah, hypothetically he should.
I think we should be most alarmed that Republican lawyers are saying their skills are on par to a baby's
Lmao
Kalle Noble exactly, if a baby can do your job, why are you here being paid si much
I'm not going to take the time to read this because I loved the first line too much, Republicans literally wanted a pedophile to lead them earlier this year, some of them saying it was better that he was a pedophile. Like it doesn't get much lower and hypocritical than that lol
True, a Republican lawyer would probably only be able to say "I do not recall!"
Because all lawyers are Republican?
*Looks at etch-a-sketch* “Holy shit that’s so good” got me 😂😂😂
Jason Chen "oh we have a sketch artist, I bet she's terrible. Holy shit, that's so good."😂😂
I can't believe how apathetic people are to this kind of thing happening. It's a human rights issue. Just because they are not their own citizens. It is disturbing the kind of psychopathy that the bad judges in this system must have to people's plights.
Then, useless, virtue-signaling, pieces of shit like you do nothing to improve anything.
@@juliangorrido1392 explain your reasoning then
The whole point of the occupation of judge is to judge and punish people. It's not a stretch to think that it'd attract power-hungry psychos and moral grand-standers. Not saying all judges are like that of course, but the nature of the application is going to bias the sample of applicants.
@@juliangorrido1392 Empty buzzwords with no substance to be found. Have you even tried making an attempt at thinking or is that too difficult?
@@the_modfied_car4903 I agree Mr Julian over here has used some strong words but if you watched the video you saw those statistics, 90% deportation rate when most places. Have less than 40%? That says quite a lot about the judge more than the system.
That Johnny Depp one may need an apology with recent revelations.
Yeah, that one did NOT age well!
definitely
top ten non-offensive jokes that aged like milk
Immediately looked for this type of comment, assoonas he said it.
Certainly aged badly
very much so
"Will you please just tell them that I didn't burn down the hospital?"
*You bunned down the hospitaa*
HAHAHAHA perfect.
Honestly, I love when John does pieces like this. It makes you realize just how fucked up our justice system can be, and the fact that a lot of us don't even know about this really says a lot.
You think this is fucked he hasn't even got to the legalized slavery in prisons (Which is against the 13th amendment) Or even Civil Asset forfeiture which is robbery by Cop. He also should address the Blue Shield policy which is an unwritten rule that protects ALL members of Law Enforcement from scrutiny.
unwritten rule is just another word for crack pot conspiracy
if memory serves he did do a piece on that
If you came here illegally then I don't have sympathy for you if you end up in immigration court
So you believe they don't have the right to proper representation in court? Even if they are a child? Someone who had no choice about coming here?
I'm too distracted by the fact the defendant in Totcourt was H.Jon Benjamin, the voice of Archer and Bob from bobs burgers
I thought i recognised Bob's voice!!
speaking as an English Teacher in Taiwan who teaches 3 year olds too, I will be the first to say, that whatever judge says they can teach immigration law to 3 year olds, must think they'll have 5 years to completely teach it to them for 5 hours a day.
Tot court is a good represetation of our entire justice system.
Michael Hammer I mean the tots got a confession and a sentence.
The children's court is better actually. Because it's just as bad but at least it's more fun.
When you look into Cash for Kids, and you realize, that is still happening in other states, all the time you'd see differently.
Wait, so you're saying H Jon Benjamin DID burn down a hospital?
Yeah but real court doesn't have snacks!
15:56 Not gonna lie, the banana joke was fire.
Anti humor from a 3 year old.
"No, it was a banana."
The Fuck, first animation channels, then Science channels, and now this?!?!?!?
STAHP FOLLAHIN' ME!
i didn't understand what kid said in the end? what was his answer?
Shujath Hussain He said the banana is yellow.
I think the judges who sends them back should be held accountable if that person is harmed or killed.
Lord Voldemort lol what?
@@JonSmith-yq1dw you laugh but he has a point if you knew someone was going to be killed by sending them back to a place where they just got away from almost dying and did nothing to change that and sent them right back to that spot and not a different one you would be a accomplice at worst and a murderer at best
Even the Dark Lord has standards, apparently.
@@jamesleduke873 he's a stone cold killer, but he only kills those who deserve it.
i mean, you know, according to his ultra conservative sociopolitical views.
pure bloods and all that jazz. can't muddy the waters with foreign blood!
i want them to be charged with manslaughter but honestly the bar is so fuckin low i’d settle for a pay cut
That Johnny Depp reference did not age well at all
Marxism-Taylorism haha came here to say that
Yeah...I’m sure John didn’t know...
Neither did the Mr. Peanut one
@@kirkjohnson2924 Exactly, he didn't KNOW. He just believed someone who made a claim with no evidence. Something he constantly shits on others for doing.
I'm a fan of John Oliver, but it's perfectly valid to criticize him for this, lol.
@@BrainbusterLeckie The joke might need an apology, (even though its obvious both were abusing the other) but it has no actual bearing on the rest of the segment.
When the girl said pizza she was actually trying to go to Italy to vote for John
Oh yeah, I forgot about that.
As an attorney, this is alarming and heartbreaking. I'm going to try and do my part to help those in need. Not sure how much of a difference I can make but I will try.
You can make a huge difference! Even just going to volunteer for a week at Dilly Detention Center would help these kids out. caraprobono.org/volunteer/
Marie-Yves Nadine Jean-Baptiste, you have my respect.
Diimaa are you a bot?
Marie-Yves Nadine Jean-Baptiste if you do you will be the real mvp
Few more people like you with councious; and the world would be a better place 😊
Proverbs 29:7 The righteous person cares for the legal rights of the poor; the wicked does not understand such knowledge.
YoU DOn'T HaVE tO TakE THe BibLe SO LitEralLy!
is that really in there?
@@flappy7373 Yeah, that quotation is really in the Bible. See here: www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs+29%3A7&version=NIV
The righteous person doesn't bring Bible quotes to a legal battle.
@@andrewharper1609 The Trump administration already lost the legal battle lol, there's no reason to make a legal argument. I simply couldn't think of a better way of trying to get my point across to the sort of people who vote for Trump.
Also, this post is over a year old .
Best LWT celebrity cameo ever. Jon Benjamin + toddlers = pure entertainment
IKR but all I hear it Archer when he talks haha! waiting for him to Scream LANAAAA! 😂😂😂
I've tried to address this many times, including contacting ACLU and other non-profits. Maybe Last Week Tonight can get some results.
I do immigration in southern California. I have many, many people come to me seeking help, but they have no money. None of the attorneys are willing to represent a client who can't pay (including my boss, who won't allow me to anymore). And, unlike the bankruptcy court (where I volunteer) and every other court, there is no self-help legal clinic for the immigration court. so these people have nothing, and no way to get help. Not only that, but the agencies who *do* have the money, and the means to help them, don't. They spend all their time lobbying and advocating, but none of it actually doing good.
The backlogs and clogged courts can't be fixed. that's a symptom of the massive caseload. But the people can be helped through it. I proposed to the ACLU that they find attorneys, like me, who are willing to represent these clients for very little money, and they just cover the costs of their case. My firm charges $2,500 + court fees for, say, an asylum application. But if the ACLU called me and said "we will pay all of their court costs, lets make a fee deal" then I would do every one for significantly less. $500 or so. THAT would be a phenomenally better expense than paying some dude to scream every week on CNN because that $1,400 (court costs + fee) would actually save somebody. It would confer an actual, tangible benefit. If those numbers don't work, then lets talk about number that do. Lets talk about actually helping people, rather than screaming about how the system needs to be fixed.
Of course it needs to be fixed. Of course it's broken. But, until the day it is fixed, there are people suffering. there are people suffering *right now* who need help. They don't care if the system will get fixed. They care about not being sent back to their rapists. They care about not being torn away from their families. There are lawyers out there, like me, who want to help. But we're hamstrung. Hey, John Oliver, ACLU, and all those other non-profits have the power to help. I'm just one attorney in a crappy building in Oxnard. Please help me to help these people. Or don't.
Mostlynotgay join AILA and they will help
did you even watch the goddamn video?
at that point you may as well just close up immigration courts and give citizenships to anyone thats this side of the border. The problem with sound innocent and liberal and "of the suffering of people" is that you need to draw the line somewhere. What is the point of having courts that has a track record of 29% or 90%? either way, you're being biased. Not deporting anyone with the sad story isn't helping, nor is it deserving of praise. My point and absolute mistrust of people like John Oliver and Fox News is what they think is important, To John and to you probably, the problem was Atlanta's 89% rather than the discrepancy of 29% in Cali, too. If Mexico is a crime-ridden place that this many people need sections, I grentee you I could make sime case for over quater of teh qorld population.
😩😩
Can you share you contact information / email?
Finally archer actually is in court, he's got so many things to stand trial for.
kyle magaro you spelled Bob from Bobs Burgers funny
You mean Coach McGuirk from Home Videos?
Can of Vegetable from Wet Hot American Summer
So true. Love Archer. ;d
kyle magaro
Mini-mart employee from Family Guy.
When the defendant in the skit said "Will ANYONE share their snacks with me?" I realised who the voice of Archer is...
- You've been charged with possession of marijuana with intent to distribute, how do you plead ?
- ...Koala.
I would watch that show if it existed.
Will the koala write a letter to the judge?
Trucs en Série ...funny, but life's become so depressing in the US that we joke and find pleasure in the most batshit crazy forms of escapism...
war on weed is just a proxy war by conservatives against liberals... by fixed thinkers against free thinkers...
the founders surely must have dabbed...
🤗😆😊
If a kid has to defend him/herself, then the only fair thing to do is to have the judge a child too.
You want to be deported to pizza ? Done !!
NEW NO-NO
“This court is now in recess!” *everybody runs to the playground*
wasnt that judgeboss a kid?
or perhaps there should be a system in place that protects children from being equally liable as adults for the same actions... oh wait that already exists in pretty much every field of law other than immigration. yay
That Johhny Depp + Domestic Violence joke aged... well it aged lol
How is something like this possible in the United States? People that feel themselves empowered to uphold "the law" - even if the law is obviously insane, isn't this what Hannah Ahrendt wrote about in her great work "the banality of evil". Keep addressing this, mr. Oliver and hopefully some sane group of people can stop this nonsense from happening.
Keep dreaming pal the people who change things won’t and people who would change things can’t
Because America is too big for its own good. Such a "super" power is way too fragile for shit like this, awful gun laws, school shootings, homeless problems, disgusting abortion laws, etc. to happen.
Nobody wants to uproot themselves and move to another country. People want to stay in their own country , grow old and die with friends and family and loved ones. If they flee to another country it means they really are desperate
Why flee so far? Why flee from Honduras to USA, instead of another country in south/central America? Why must :Somalis come to USA, instead of some other country in Africa? And BOTH China AND South Korea are large enough and rich enough to support their own citizens -- so why should any of them EVER leave home?
why did they British colonize half the world? why did white people move to America? why!? :p
Dean Champion youre assuming that that the ua is the only country with people who flee to it. It is not. There are tons of people who do just what you're saying and flee or just immigrate to the uk or canda or South korea etc. Each country has its own immigration laws and some have corrupt sytems for forcing people in need out quickly as well. Japan for example has a rocky relationship with brazillian immigrants similar to the usa and mexico immigrants. South korea has an entire system for helping north korean defectors assimilate to south korean life once thoroughly vetted to be sure they're not spies. Syrian refugees can be found in Turkey, Canada, the US, etc. Immigration, both legal and illegal, isnt just an american thing. Though we seem to want to believe it is.
As for why so far. Sometimes these other countries force them out or dontnlet them in so they find other ways to get out. Many countries have a set number of refugees they will take. And some places are easier to get to depending on who you know or are related to
Daniel Galeano Thats basically irrelevant, he does have a point despite though, Africa will have around 4 billion people by 2070, Africa currently has just over 1 billion and the poverty there is the worst in the world, just what happens when there's 4 billion africans in Africa and when 70% will be starving, the humanitarian crisis will be absolutely immense, so what do people like u propose? "Ummm lets just send all of them to Europe cuz Britain used to colonize and shizzzz" Thats not how it works...
Daniel Galeano
History education can easily answer that.
GB wanted the resources and cheap labor force.
The first white people expected to find lots of gold.
The first white settlers were looking for a better life.
And now the answer to why people from Somalia want to come to the USA:
not because they need protection but because they want a better life in a rich country.
If it were about needing protection they would stay in another nearby African country.
They come for economic reasons!
Sixteen year olds can't comment on gun policy but three year olds can defend themselves in court. Seems legit.
(Also wtf bringing up Slenderman. All this time trying to forget about it)
Works the other way too. We need to figure out if kids are adults or not.
> Some people say 17-year-olds aren't old enough to make legislation
> Some say 17-year-olds aren't old enough to represent themselves in court
As John Oliver said, children shouldn’t have to worry about being murdered. That is horrifying that we have to clear that up, and that people don’t seem to understand that concept and say we are to young to understand and have a voice. They are always thinking about the children until the children think for themselves, then we are on our own.
+Fae it's quite easy to understand where they stand once you realize those people in favor of deporting children to certain death do not see "foreigners" or in some cases "non-whites" as human beings.
Just gotta stop sticking up for other because why your focus on some bullshit we keep getting fucked smh wtf has a protest some for y'all get it right. Not a fucking thing because they will never let there hang fall! Remember they will always be more powerful! Lol setups a bitch ain't no justice for us 🤣🤣🤣🖕🏽🖕🏽 we die everyday quit the shit!! Learn people learn! Smfh.
This.
I'm so glad John Oliver chose to end this segment with "Tot Bench," because I was literally in tears prior to that. #worldsocruel 😭
I would watch the hell out of Tot Bench. Hilariously adorable.
Love the court room toddler skit... Bt my heart definitely goes out to those who simply wanna work and have a good life ,especially in cases where they just wanna live...
it is insane that a judge tried to say that 3 year olds can totally defend themselves in court. I dont think its by mistake. remember all the talk of terror babies. this is on purpose. they can barely handle going to the potty. By the way Tot court was really cute.
Nah. you can blame this on Trump. Immigrants are bad.
Albert Einstein could be at our border with the cure to cancer, but we wouldn't give a damn because MURICA FIRST.
that judge taught my 5 year old theoretical physicsi too, shes on track to finish her doctoral thesis next week..now if only she could learn multiplkashun :)
He also told it takes time. Like 15 years give or take.
Fuck dude. If you take a glass of water in a skinny glass and pour it into a fat glass, then the kid will think there's magically less water.
ColoringKaria I
How are children expected to be able to understand immigration law when grown adults can't?
Clearly a big SPONSORED agenda behind this, that has a lot corruption going on.
Maybe they've noticed that most adults are morons and that there is still some hope for the kids. But yeah it is ludicrous.
What is not understandable on it, though? You get in with valid visa, or you have a problem. That's all. Same as if you don't have a ticket in a train. You can ride without it, but only until someone finds out. Is it problematic for many? Yeah, but that's how the world works. Nobody has enough resources to cater for everyone for free. YET.
Antoine Hanako you do realize the average 4 year old cant even feed or bathe themselves reliably don't you?
Antoine Hanako Obviously you need a valid visa, but in many cases these kids aren't making any decisions to migrate or seek asylum.
If you find a frightened and lost 4 year old alone on the train and they don't have a ticket you don't just kick them out at the next station and wish them good fortune do you? I hope not.
Of course you can teach law to a three-year-old. Provided you wait, oh, I don't know, fifteen years.
Just a btw, Johnny Depp has recordings of his wife talking about abusing him, so hopefully now that the case is pretty much closed, we don’t have to blame the victim anymore.
Doesn't jive with Oliver's agenda to admit that a woman is capable of flaws. Sorry. Check his video some time on the "Wage Gap" if you want to see real quality sexism.
@@far2ez539 The "Wage Gap" does not exist and has been debunkt dozens off times.
Well, if he has those recordings they def didn't work in the English courts.
Incel waiting room here
@@Samer911 , proof?
Constantino Morales case broke my heart. A man of law.....
Fourty Four
Non sequitur.
I'm not speaking Mexican, if you were wondering.
Well that was depressing
Ralphfish4 CHEECH
😂True
If Tot Bench was real, I would watch it every single day
I can't believe they'd sentence Archer to prison for 1 jillion years
Bob Belcher didn't deserve this
Don't do the crime of you can't do the time.
That's H. Jon Benjamin, the voice actor for Sterling Archer, Bob from Bob's Burgers, and Coach McGuirk from Home Movies!
Vaylon Kenadell And the devil in Lucy daughter of the devil :)
You're damn right he is!
THANK YOU! I KNEW he sounded familiar.
I knew it. I freaking knew it
He's also that guy Carl from Family guy who did the impressions of Bob from Bob's Burgers ("Hi. I'm Bob from 'Bob's Burgers'.") and Archer from Archer ("Hi. I'm Archer from that show 'Archer'.").
As a minor I had to appear for curfew violation and the Judge both did not allow my mother, a Legal Assistant, to so much as speak to me nor would he explain any terminology he used or give any context.
I can't fathom how minors are given no support whatsoever to argue their case especially for deportation.
Well, you see, children aren't people yet, so you can't explain things like this to them because it will affect their development I'm pretty sure.
PorQpine 215 Just to be sure... That's sarcasm, right?
How can that even be lega? The US sucks. Not because it is ruled by deplorables, but because deplorables are everywhere who want this.
PorQpine 215 The only time they consider children as humans is when they're still in the womb. After that, they're just lazy bums mooching off the system.
May the Science be with You
It happens in many places:
Because it's a civil court, many of the constitutional guarantees for fair trials are substantially weekend. Then, in the case of the curfew violation, they're trying to decide what's "best" for the minor, so they don't actually need to defend themselves from being "helped".
It happens all the time because of some fucked up paternalism. Basically, stfu, daddy the state know best.
„give me your tired, your poor,
your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
the wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me.
i lift my lamp beside the golden door.“
you should destroy that plaque, your not honoring it anymore.
In law school, when I first learned about "Article II Courts" I was appalled that lawyers were actually calling them "courts". If it's not independent, it's not a court. It's a charade.
Tot Bench looks acutally fun to watch 😂
Right? Especially if Archer keeps playing all of the defendants lol
Or Bob. He'd be great too.
Seven AM hot bench* you spelled it wrong
MaxAmSax
Fuck Bob, McGuirk or Satan even.
Tot Bench is actual situation in US now... but with smarter peoples
4 year olds can learn law but 17 yo can't be taken seriously protesting against guns.
who is "you"..some morons on the internet isnt an entire generation...
Not agreeing with their opinions about gun control is *NOT THE SAME* as not taking them seriously. When people start their debate with, "assault rifles should be banned," it's time to tune out; they're just not informed well enough on the topic to speak on it.
Lockheed - explain how that "banning assault rifles" is a bad idea. I'll wait
Lockheed - your only argument is that you like guns. That's it. Don't give me that bullshit about stopping a unruly government cuz that's a load of shit.
@RSh s - - If you can't tell me why "banning assault rifles" is an idiotic statement, then it tells me how uninformed you are on the subject. Assault rifles are fully automatic guns... Fully automatic guns are already banned.
Tyrannical governments have stripped their people of the right to carry weapons in the past, so ya, there's that. There's also the aspect of self defense, and my right to protect myself. If a bad guy with a gun wants to hurt me and my family, what would you have me protect us with? ... A knife? Also, quick question: have you seen the statistics on lives saved vs. lives taken with guns? It's pretty eye-opening.
Re the end segment: anyone else having Amanda Show flashbacks?
Also omg it's Archer.
"I want to be deported to Pizza". Alright! I want to adopt that girl.
I can't believe there are people who actually think a three year old can understand any form of law. Let alone a poor child who is already under stress from the immigration process and from potential turmoil in their native country
They clearly don't. They just want to get rid of those three year olds. Imagine they grow up and start "stealing" jobs, or god forbid manage to build a better life for themselfes than the deplorables have.
Jesus, this entire episode was so damn depressing. I couldn't even bring myself to laugh at the jokes.
It's crazy how we say we're one of the best countries ever, yet if you aren't a US citizen, we won't show any level of human decency to another person. We demand respect, yet we can't even show the bare minimum.
King Andres, yeah. Except, holy shit dude, a person entering your private personal residence is WORLDS away from someone being allowed to simply live within the US border far away from whatever they came this far for or from. Those are not the same things and should not be compared so recklessly like that
Yeah now you are getting somewhere sir... For someone outside US...
Your country come across as the biggest hypocrite in the world,seriously not even kidding, take a look at the decisions made by your government from the last 5 decades.. Right from the start of Vietnam war which was none of your business to the Iraq war which again was none of your business except you know Oil...
Just endless supply of hypocrisy...
If you truly think that literally every other human on planet earth is out to steal your stuff, you need to see a psychologist. Paranoia is not normal.
King Andres Stop living in your own world of paranoia for a change. Otherwise you're just weak.
+King Andres. Your country spends trillions of dollars on an already over stuffed Military every year and has yet somehow convinved poeple like you that helping thoese in need is the problem.
TOT BENCH !
Haven't laughed that hard in a long time !!
So the Johhny Depp gag has aged like milk
15:56 For anyone doesn't understand the kid here's the subtitle
Kid : What is the different between a banana and a cow.
Man : What is the different between banana and a cow? I don't know. What?
Kid : Banana is yellow
Arif Aiman Wow. Just wow.
He’s not wrong.
damn how long you have being an interpreter?
+Toni Kross, to be honest i rewound and re-played it twice after hearing the elder/man repeat the question and did get what the kid said (that a banana is yaeyooh)
*nonetheless, thanks to Arif bhai for posting it here!*
Archer S9E1: Sterling goes to Tot Bench
I had to scroll far too low for this comment! A thumbsup for you sir!
Is that the real voice actor? I thought his voice sounded familiar haha
I never thought I'd see the day that Sterling Archer gets judged by a 4 year old.
DangerousUrNot yeah that’s H John Benjamin
I thought the voice sounded familiar. Thanks for reminding me.
10:53 lol that didn't age well
I hope other people noticed that Elmo's license plate said "Tickle This"
I'm from Honduras, and I can attest to the fact that 70% of people in our country live situations like the one Elena was. Many of us try to leave legally, but can rarely find any opportunities. When I graduated from High School, I applied to college, and I could only go if I had a lot of money. No I have been 3 years applying to Master's Degrees and jobs, for which I know I qualify, but I need money to go study or my job applications are completely ignored. And I can only think, my dad didn't sacrifice his own living and comfort to pay for the best education I could have here and to pay for me to learn 5 languages so I had more chances to leave, just for me to end up stuck in a country where we can only go from home straight to work then back for the fear of being killed while earning almost minimum wage here.
Debz Baumaus ✊🏽✊🏽
damn man 5 languages.. apply to work as a diplomat in an embassy haha
So fix your country, if enough people get together you can change some shit. Running away from your problems will never work.
Cool story bro. /s
Vinny yeah right get off fucking CZcams and do something. Easy for us to say but the point is valid
I'm 97% sure the arsonist on "Tot Bench" is the voice of Bob in Bob's Burgers and I'm living for it. Also, it's awful that children have to represent themselves in court and even more disgusting that some people genuinely believe that 3-4-year-olds have the capacity to defend themselves in court. Some people are just completely devoid of compassion, and Jack H. Weil is one of those people.
You are correct, that would be H Jon Benjamin. I recognised him from Archer.
That Ken Burns documentary on the vietnam war is actually really good and brings up a lot of things about the vietnam war that people have seemed to forget.
I've already binged it twice.
A 3 year old that's smart enough to understand law sounds like exactly the kind of immigrant you'd want to keep in your country.
Nonsense! I went up against numerous three-year-olds in mock trials during law school, and they are vicious. Don't let little "pizza" girl fool you. She is chief counsel for American Girl.
ElyssaAnderson 😂😂🤣🤣
You made my day
haha well done good form
ElyssaAnderson lmfao
little cheese pizza girl :
Ok, I am currently in law school. If a TWENTY-THREE year old (me) struggles to learn complex legal concepts then certainly a THREE year old would!!! There is a reason you need a bachelors degree and an admissions test to even be considered to enter law school...
Austin Blessing I read your comment before the corresponding part of the video played, so I was very confused.
Then to my amazement that idiot said he has taught immigration law to 3&4 year olds... I can’t... I just, I mean……What?!?!
Baron Von Grijffenbourg it's not that difficult to understand really. The U.S. government hates people like my family and my Abuelita (grandmother) in particular. It's demoralizing but most of us have known it all our lives. 😒😓😢😡
Oh please its not that difficult, you just have to review any case that might have any possible connection to yours, interview everyone involved is said cases (graverobbing is permissable) then have an encyclopedic knowledge of all cases. Then you can get started on trial prep.
plaatsvervangende schaamte? It's "Fremdscham" in German, you know, because of the stereotypical efficiency.
Empathy in a basic sense
When that little girl was ask where she was born, I think she was trying to say "It was Mommy in church." LOL
"what country do you suggest being deported to"
"the united states"
"bro..."
-gaming the system with me limboBilbo
"What's the difference b/w a cow and a banana?"
"A banana's yellow"
Word!
Pramit Chatterjee whats the difference between an orange?
It's orange?
Smart kid!
Took me a jillion years to get it.
Pramit Chatterjee LOLOL
I think anyone who are okay with children representing themselves in court should have all their court cases and minor offenses brought up in Tot Bench.
That parking fine won't be something you shrug at when they deport you to Pizza for it, with no possibility of supper before bedtime.
kebzero Would be better if everyone 4 and under who had to go to court and represent themselves went to tot bench. That way it would be a fair trial. Also hilarious.
I don't know about fair, little kids can be mean too you know...
Dear Sir Oliver, I am writing a Research Paper on Illegal Immigration, and you have saved me by giving me sources to explore. I’m not pushing a religious agenda, but God bless. Sincerely, Diego
I died of cuteness overload with TOT BENCH hahahahaha, I would love too watch more of it, make a sequel XD
TOT BENCH!
thot bench?
ChrisAwake TOT BENCH for life
hell yeah!
i call my lap the thot bench
yes pls
Anyone who says a 2 to 3 year old is ok to represent themselves either is not a parent or is a lawyer...
I'd argue not even a human.
So, yeah, a lawyer.
And some lawyers become judges and so on and so forth.
Just a little boys’ club and the reason our justice system is broken. If you see something wrong, sue it. Fucking babies. 😀👍
They aren’t citizens therefore don’t deserve a lawyer
radio tech genius
Having Archer in a court which is run by children is hilarious
I would unironically watch Tot Bench.
I keep hearing. Americans say "why America should solve the problem of other countries" or "why should we care". If so stop calling your president the leader of the free world. Stop meddling in other countries. Take your stand.also stop starting new wars in the name of democracy.
They only want to 'solve problems' which their military-industrial complex can profit from.
We don’t need to solve random countries’ problems, only ours and our allies. Hint: Middle East is our interest as they literally attacked us... and Kuwait was an ally
Will Juneau at least google things before saying them. Midlle East didn't attack you (if you dont know middle east isn't a country) .it was al-Qaeda. You attacked Iraq to free them from Saddam Hussein (at least that was what your goverment said). Hence giving birth to Isis.and here's a fun fact, when you attack a country for some made up reason and raze it to the ground they tend to bocome hatefulle toward you which is a perfect condition for terrorist organizations to recruit them.
Citing state.gov. In 2016 22% of all terrorists were from Afghanistan, which we invaded to kill bin-Laden and Al Qaeda. There are way too many terrorist attacks from Middle Eastern countries so no I'm not referring to any specific attack.
Lol yes I'm aware that the middle east isn't a country. Saddam Hussein invaded Kuwait, an American ally, thus American interests. And raze it to the ground? The military gave chocolate bars to kids for gods sake, we tried so hard to not get them to hate us, not our fault they are a backwards bunch of mindless jihadists.
Seriously teaching 3 year olds and 4 year olds Immigration laws ?That Immigration Judge thinks the kids could represent themselves in court. Are u kidding??I mean come on...seeing those cute kids speak should have rung bells in his thick head. ...Sad.😣
Lawyer? No. Much worse. He was an Assistant Chief Immigration Judge.
He told "it will take a lot of time, but it is possible". If by "a lot of time" he meant 10-20 years he would be factually correct.
I mean if 3 year olds can do it nobody needs him... Should be replaced by a 3 year old
They should make the kid he, "taught" to represent him in a case. Lol
Spluck It Ya my bad.He indeed was an Asst.Chief Immigration Judge.Thank u for correcting me buddy.
there is not a sane man among us who wouldn't prefer tot bench to literally any other courtroom show
plus they got H. Jon Benjamin on
thank you! And sharing this!
I am the child of an undocumented immigrant, my father, while my mother was here legally. Thanks to my mother, even though I was born in Mexico, I was easily able to get my papers and all my certifications by the age of 3. My father, on the other hand, had to deal with these courts, and the stories that John here spoke of hit so close to home for me because I had uncles and cousins denied asylum here, because they were brought here through illegal means, later back in Mexico we would receive calls from our family saying that they were killed. My father had originally come here in 1985 just before his 10th birthday, he did not understand English and was put through schooling for it. When I was born my father decided it was time for him to get his certifications, so he’ll be able to work freely and be able to support me. The immigration court we had gone to denied his first hearing, so my mother told him to appeal and try again. This time they did hear him out, but we had to wait 15 years before he was able to get anything and in that time he was not able to leave the country or go out of state or else he would have to start over again. My father had scraped up whatever money he could doing odd jobs and working lawns and the fields so he could pay for a lawyer. Thankfully he was able to get one, for him and his mother. If he didn’t he knew that he would’ve been in some serious trouble, if there’s one thing about America that needs to change it has to be this damn system, I understand how difficult it must be to change, but this is just ridiculous, 15 years before any hearing or something to help someone? Americans, I am not trying to bash or outright hate on any of you, but this system is some serious BULLSHIT. Go ahead and call me a “libtard” or whatever the hell you call liberals when they speak their minds, but listen to all these cases and determine for yourselves whether or not this system is in need of some modifications to modernize it.
Omar Carrillo Navarro, go fix your country you fucking coward! It's not America job to wipe your ass
I will never understand how people like you 2 seem unable to have empathy for other people. They deserve everything we do, where we are born shouldn't effect that at all.
Your father is a good man. I am constantly ashamed of the United States.
Never Ends earned it from the backs of immigrants, you mean. Russian bots are the wooooorst! They just repeat the same 4 things.
But do you understand that your father came here illegally? That it is illegal to do this? I feel for you and I hate the Immigration court system but America puts more emphasis on citizens who came here through legal channels or were born here...
Why is it always about whether all or no immigrants should be allowed here or not? I think it's more about making immigration court run better so that the good, hardworking people who deserve a chance, can actually have a chance. I'm not saying we should just let in everyone, but we should at least take it more seriously so that those actually deserving of mercy don't just get murdered. What about the children too? If a 2 year-old is in court because they are an immigrant, should that 2 year-old be treated like an immigrant that we don't want here? It's a toddler for christ's sake.
Basically it's not a matter of "let them all in" or "don't let anyone at all in" that's just two extremes, why don't we try something in the middle, like actually doing immigration court in a smart way.
But now you're just being reasonable!
The problem is that we have to replace ALL of our politicians with capable leaders
Anybody who is mentally ill or corrupt shouldn't be a politician
Donika691 Common sense is dead.
Starset Phantom which is a very sad and unfortunate thing. I mourn you "common sense"
Donika691 indeed. Take all benefits no one since we cant help all which leads to segregation and poverty
The johny Depp reference has not aged well. 😂
Lol That Johnny Depp reference didn't age well.
tot bench was awesome 😄😄😄😄😄
cjbette7 I was dying of laughter😂
I love how "law and order" Republicans seem to have no quarrels with kangaroo courts like this, and don't seem to care how much asylum law is trampled on.
If you talk to these people, you will quickly realize that due process is not an important part of their 'law and order' society.
“Law and order” is a dog whistle for racism, it doesn’t have anything related to law or order.
To a Republican, "law and order" means that a wealthy white person did nothing wrong...everyone else is fucked.
It's because most diehard Republicans don't care about the rule of law, they care about authority. By demanding that the rule of law be followed, you're disrespecting authority and are thus a Bad Person. Once you're a Bad Person, anything can be done to you and it's not a problem to them.
Holy echo chamber in these comments!
First, non-citizens do not have legal representation rights. (Perhaps they should, but that would be taxing to a country they do not belong to)
Second, asylum laws do not open a country to free immigration. If someone fleeing danger has other options, they should explore those before being granted US citizenship. For example, 12:11, she did not consider other cities (or other neighboring countries for that matter).
Please John do this every day!!! We need you! A weekly show is not enough!
As JO would say, this piece hasn’t aged badly in any shape or form.
If I were you I’d say Sorry to Johnny Depp
how is it legal to have a court system that is not under the judicial branch?
There are actually several small courts in the government that are separate from the Judicial system. "Immigration court" just happens to handle the most cases.
"Do you know...... mdhs damja.... diffewence between banana and a cow?"
"What is the difference between a banana and a cow?"
"Banana..... damjaba.... YELLOW!" I'M DYING 😂😂
far out that tot bench sketch at the end gave me a stitch from laughing so hard
Started binging these to have a few chuckles. Venezuela, Prosecutors, Rehab, "and now this"....
Wasn't quite what i had in mind. Yes i am more informed, in a nightmare way, but there haven't been that many laughs. That there were ANY laughs is due to the comedic talents of John n his team.
Thanks heaps for the upload, it's fantastic to have these longer sessions to view.
This is my favourite you tube channel. Genuinely funny, genuinely informative. The research is presented very adeptly and in great detail, but there's no patronizing of rhe viewers. Comic bits are a bonus, but they never detract from the reports.
Thanks again for making it possiblle for a poor, Oliver deprived, Australian to see stories out to the conclusions Much appreciated
Yes the jokes throughout this are funny, but don’t let them distract you from the serious topic at hand. People that aren’t affected by this, love to talk about this subject like they know everything about it. I’m Mexican and a daca recipient. I have never had any type of trouble with the law, finished high school, pay my taxes, pay my car insurance, do everything I’m “suppose“ to be doing, and I’m still viewed as a criminal. That hurts. The ignorant people of the world love to say “just come here legally”, as if things are just that black and white. It’s easy to talk about something you have never had to deal with, and probably will never have to deal with, but the day that Americans have to switch places with us, most of them would fold under the pressure. Do you think people cross the boarder illegally because it’s fun? Because it’s easy? Because we want to come to America to cause problems? No. The majority of us just want the chance to find more opportunities that aren’t available where we come from. We aren’t going to sit until someone decides when and if we are good enough to receive a chance at a better way of life. The trump administration has proved time and time again, this isn’t about who is here illegally, it’s about pushing their brain dead racist bigot ideals. And if you disagree, you are blind to what is going on around you. But fine, hate me because I’m Mexican, hate me because I’m a “illegal immigrant”, kick us out, build your walls, but that won’t stop us. I will represent Mexico to the best of my ability every chance I get. We will forever fight until the very end.
CezaMVO why wouldnt you fight like this for your own country which you were born in and go into the government and go for change ? Why run away and come here and bring problems to America where we cant even help fellows* americans ?
thanks for the comment
Jack Lambert who ya talkin to jack ? Lol me or the original comment
Jester 88 The reason we come here is because we can't do that in mexico. Its either you're born into money or poor and the poor cant change much hints the reason we come to America
It's not fair that orange-headed clown sits in the House and issues executive "orders" while the only thing he's qualified to do is to say "Ugghh yeaah"!