After Being Raped, How Did You Overcome The Emotional Trauma? - Charly Emery

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  • čas přidán 1. 08. 2010
  • Charly Emery shares how she was able to transcend the emotional trauma that enveloped her after being raped. For More Information Visit www.empowher.com/wellness
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Komentáře • 87

  • @hilaryjones3227
    @hilaryjones3227 Před rokem +23

    Thank you, this has really helped me, I am 70 next month and I was raped twice on two separate occasions by the same man when I was 18 yrs. old. At the time when I told my friends they never believed me, I felt so worthless and ashamed I never went to the Police. It's been there inside the anger, the upset and more , all these years.

  • @XXXTattooSue
    @XXXTattooSue Před 8 lety +102

    I'm sick of feeling like this. I don't know how to feel like myself anymore. I know time heals best, but I'm also scared I'll never trust a man ever EVER again. my skin crawls just being around my guy friends. I hate this feeling this way & miss my life before it happened

    • @hccat3336
      @hccat3336 Před 8 lety +8

      I can only hope that one day you recover. Much love.

    • @XXXTattooSue
      @XXXTattooSue Před 8 lety +6

      +Hannie Flare thank you so much, God bless. 💙

    • @Whatsyournarrative
      @Whatsyournarrative Před 7 lety +4

      I understand what you're going through

    • @nathalievanderzwaag3956
      @nathalievanderzwaag3956 Před 7 lety +4

      Christian Vigilante i feel the same way. I feel like I cannot breathe :/

    • @julieh9355
      @julieh9355 Před 7 lety +1

      This made me cry. Thats exactly how I feel. May I ask you if youre better now?

  • @LilShriga
    @LilShriga Před 10 měsíci +17

    as a fresh 21 year old male I’ve repressed and cowered from those emotions since it happened to me. It was 15 years ago and I had yet realized the amount of control, but I wouldn’t even say control. It consumed me and completely changed me as a kid/young teen growing up. the person completely stripped my manhood from me so i’ve always wondered what it meant and what its like to be a man since. I honestly just want to smile again and genuinely mean it i’m so tired of this constant pain and agony that follows me. So, as a male viewer/victim thank you for this video it really helped.

  • @earrings4divasearrings4div22

    How do I heal from being kidnapped and raped 33 years ago? I hurt so bad inside...the pain has never went away....it hide in so many areas of my life...It has controlled my life...I live in constant fear...and menopause have made it impossible to keep stuffing this pain in these little pockets of my life. I needed to tell someone how I feel...thank u for this space. I apologize for the overload

    • @matthewromero4761
      @matthewromero4761 Před 5 lety +2

      EARRINGS4DIVAS EARRINGS4DIVAS do you need to talk to anyone

    • @siiiriously3226
      @siiiriously3226 Před 3 lety +7

      journaling about my pain helps me. medititation. you can try finding therapy if you can afford it, but be careful to find someone who isn't racist, sexist etc... I had therapist who made it worse. Best I found taking to other survivors. so maybe you can find or start a support group for women! bless you!

    • @AbianahBarbie
      @AbianahBarbie Před rokem +4

      You are a queen! A princess you’re not your trauma you are strong. You help me feel like I can get through my trauma.

    • @batana-nl
      @batana-nl Před 10 měsíci +6

      It's never an overload. You matter queen! Your story matter. Your words matter. Your presence matter. Stay strong.. you are more then your trauma's ❤

    • @gretchenburton7184
      @gretchenburton7184 Před 2 měsíci

      Bless you!!! It took 24 years to talk about it! It has impacted my entire adult life. ❤

  • @AnnaLiliyaB
    @AnnaLiliyaB Před rokem +25

    I’ve been suffering with the aftermath for four and a half years now…..as soon as I think I’m getting better, I fall back into the despair, self blame, shame, grief, and denial. I don’t think I’ve come to accept what happened yet. The perp did it twice the same day😔
    On top of that, I’ve also been SA’d multiple other times as a child. It feels like I’ve been hiding behind a wall and im heading towards an emotional break down if I don’t get proper help. Please pray for me.

    • @Michele-ro3gz
      @Michele-ro3gz Před rokem +4

      Ana I'm so sorry for this you are a beautiful soul don't let anyone take that from you I too am new to dealing with this you are in my thoughts and prayers 🙏🙏🙏

    • @batana-nl
      @batana-nl Před 10 měsíci +3

      I'll pray for you! You matter ❤

  • @YourFavMemory
    @YourFavMemory Před 7 lety +31

    Man bless her soul. Too many people get raped too fast. Don't know what anybody has to just be in that position. I nearly been raped a few times myself, but thank God I'm still pushing through without that.

    • @itaelopez8561
      @itaelopez8561 Před 7 lety +6

      Tiara Paradise I just been in that situation aswell few days ago and am so traumatized everything happens so fast , can't stop crying and panics stacks

    • @YourFavMemory
      @YourFavMemory Před 7 lety +4

      ita Evuna lopez No body should be put in a situation like that. I pray for a healing recovery. Because that is one way go catch posttraumatic disorder. Burnout is horrible too, but in your situation it's pstd. Check out my video I make today. It will be on sometime later on.

  • @Julieglam3
    @Julieglam3 Před 12 dny

    I did the opposite. I surpressed my rape and sexual assaults for decades and didn't allow it to stop me from marrying or having my kids. But it most DEFINITELY had an impact, not only on my marriage and my kids but most importantly on ME. The shame she speaks of here is so real for survivors. And all of my adult life (I am 66 years old) swam in shame until at the urging of my husband and grown kids I went into therapy. It was only through doing that hard work that I was able to release it and tell my story. I was able to finally create boundaries that I never did before which brought me back to myself. Now that I am 5 months away from fully retiring, my intention is to form my own support group for survivors. Now that I have reached a place of peace in my healing journey, I so want to be a comfort and help to others who are struggling. I want them to know that they can find their way to the other side of it...✨

  • @heather2205
    @heather2205 Před 6 lety +12

    You are brave. Thank you for being YOU!

  • @resyahusaini6641
    @resyahusaini6641 Před 9 měsíci +3

    Thank you, this is the word that I need to hear right now. It's been several years and nobody knows, but last night I tell my mother why I'm become so depressed and she try to hurt herself.

  • @KingRevvi
    @KingRevvi Před 9 měsíci +2

    I just understand why people think “it must’ve been my fault” now.

  • @jasontran250
    @jasontran250 Před rokem +2

    The question is the right attention and spirit and care makes a huge difference according to my studies.

  • @aleenanicole9192
    @aleenanicole9192 Před 9 lety +32

    Oh my god. I went through the same thing!!! Pretended it never happened and ate a whole bunch. Was in denial for three years. Gained weight. How do you live with it now though??

    • @HisForeverJesse423
      @HisForeverJesse423 Před 9 lety +4

      How do u live with it...am wondering if it will ever fade from my mind

    • @NomadicOverlander
      @NomadicOverlander Před 6 lety +10

      i'm going through the same thing. after the first time i was raped i was in denial and i also gained a lot of weight hoping that if i was fat then maybe i wouldn't get raped. i was raped again earlier this year. but this time i'm not going to let it defeat me. my therapist says that you have to reclaim your body and find ways to cope with the flashbacks. but i like what this woman says about not letting the trauma own you. take control of it.

    • @user-yl3xg9wb5v
      @user-yl3xg9wb5v Před 11 měsíci +2

      I did the same thing I've been in denial until today. I kept telling myself I was making it up to make myself feel bad. But instead of gaining weight I stopped eating for a while. I became underweight. I was raped at 7 years old. I'm now 14 and I still think about it constantly I blocked it out for a year because I became an alcoholic bc I was stealing my parents booze at 8 years old. I can't stop thinking about it especially the pain it hurt so bad and I still feel it it never goes away. My ovaries hurt my private area hurts every day. The only men I can still feel comfortable around are my dad my brother and my uncle. I can't express the pain it brought me I was bleeding and left so hurt. I can't even remember who it was. The only thing I remember is the pain and how he was a 49 year old janitor. All I can think about is hurting him. If I ever see him again I don't think I'll be able to stop myself from killing him. He hurt me more than words can explain and all I want to do is kill him. I finally stopped cutting though. I started hurting myself immediately after it happened just to take the focus off of the main pain. And I can't tell my parents because I can't imagine how much it would hurt them, knowing there sweet, innocent, little girl had her virtue taken. I didn't get the choice to give my virginity to someone I loved. it was forcefully taken from me by someone I hate. That's probably the biggest reason I'm now gay. Sorry for the long post but the only thing helping rn is talking about it.

    • @user-yl3xg9wb5v
      @user-yl3xg9wb5v Před 11 měsíci

      ​@@NomadicOverlanderyou've got this we both can get through this don't let that monster take your happiness I believe in you

    • @user-yl3xg9wb5v
      @user-yl3xg9wb5v Před 11 měsíci

      ​@@HisForeverJesse423it probably will fade over time all we can do is work on healing

  • @KaijuEdits875
    @KaijuEdits875 Před rokem +6

    I had a so-called "friend" who did this and I was only 11, and god damn when I told my parents they got so mad at that person's parents, im almost 13 I only told them a bit ago
    Im not sure what to do and feel about myself, I cant be myself anymore with this trauma

    • @motherofaffection9687
      @motherofaffection9687 Před rokem +1

      I’m deeply sorry to hear that you have went through this evil and difficult experience, You are so young, and so brave for expressing what you have went through. They are not a friend and what they did, their action of choosing to violate you is disgusting and evil. You will overcome this, with self care and hopefully the supprt and comfort of even one kindhearted person. It may take a while to feel yourself again, however remember you are a young beautiful human who deserves to feel, and though pain will be felt, so will joy. And strength and resilience will come. I wish you the best little one x

    • @KaijuEdits875
      @KaijuEdits875 Před rokem +3

      @@motherofaffection9687 Thanks so so so much, that is the kindest support i have gotten over this incident, thank you so much 😊

    • @motherofaffection9687
      @motherofaffection9687 Před rokem +2

      You are very welcome, I wish you healing and good in your life. Keep doing the hobbies you love and stay around kind and caring friends even if they are not so cool. Be kind to yourself always and firstly, you deserve it. Wish you the best, Take care 🌷🌷

    • @nanciee2844
      @nanciee2844 Před rokem

      Me two, I know exactly what ur feeling

    • @KaijuEdits875
      @KaijuEdits875 Před rokem +3

      @@motherofaffection9687 thank you so much! I cant describe how I feel

  • @Nisaadam57
    @Nisaadam57 Před 6 měsíci +1

    You are a surviver amazing young lady who took her power back I’m proud of you

  • @cmebans35
    @cmebans35 Před 5 lety +8

    Thank you for sharing your story and the advice you gave is priceless.

    • @cmebans35
      @cmebans35 Před měsícem

      2024 Jesus is faithful
      My children are blessed
      May 9, 2024

  • @LegendaryMel
    @LegendaryMel Před rokem +4

    Thank you 🙏🏼 I needed to hear this!

  • @xy-sz7jl
    @xy-sz7jl Před 7 lety +8

    That was perfect. Thank you, helped me alot. ❤

  • @AngieMcQuillinCoaching
    @AngieMcQuillinCoaching Před 9 měsíci +1

    Resonate with alllllllll much of this ! What a wonderful articulate amazing woman!!!!
    So honest. So on point

  • @lesiapersimmon7547
    @lesiapersimmon7547 Před 5 lety +4

    How do you live with it...and how do you not live in fear when the animal is living freely near you. Move to a new state? How can I be free???!!

  • @Whatsyournarrative
    @Whatsyournarrative Před 7 lety +12

    How do you live with it?

  • @Heart_Health_and_Soul_by_Anika

    Thank you so much for sharing This ❤️!

  • @joannethorpe7313
    @joannethorpe7313 Před 8 lety +4

    Thank you for this.

  • @gbgb2794
    @gbgb2794 Před 19 dny

    Its been really difficult since 2014 November. The man who was supposed to be my boyfriend assaulted me and coming from a highly conservative country as Nepal, I cannot even talk about this to anyone. I thought I would die that day, it didn't happen but I still feel every minutes of that day. I am never 100% on anything I do. Wish I could go away from this earth as soon as possible.

    • @narrowroadtraveler4167
      @narrowroadtraveler4167 Před 14 dny

      Hang in there and never Give up you are not your body your spirit is the real You you're likes and dislikes your moral standard your dignity your pride and your entire outlook and the way you perceive things are beautiful strengths that comes from your soul the real you not your body , Never let guilt or shame have place in your spirit because of the actions of A scumbag ❤❤❤❤❤

  • @melvayaredaguilar
    @melvayaredaguilar Před rokem

    I never liked the constant harassment and fake friend requests

  • @sarahhassan1645
    @sarahhassan1645 Před 10 měsíci +2

    How to cope with the trauma of your own father sexually,mentally, and emotionally abused you ? I’m currently living with my parents due to physical and mental illness, I have epilepsy and rheumatoid arthritis. I also have a severe psychotic episode. My mother is a workaholic and a negligent mother.

    • @sarahhassan1645
      @sarahhassan1645 Před 10 měsíci

      I just wanna kill myself but I don’t want others to suffer the way I am suffering.

  • @laquiviahand7625
    @laquiviahand7625 Před 8 lety +5

    I seem to be healing from a similar situation very slowly. What are some ways of coping from it?

  • @bloodhoof66
    @bloodhoof66 Před 6 lety +2

    ive been affected by things .. mentally is just as bad as physically.. im looking for ways to heal ..

  • @parisicy2936
    @parisicy2936 Před rokem +2

    I looked this video bc I was rape a month ago. I’m the same age as her. And I want to know how to heal for it

  • @annier.mcclain1723
    @annier.mcclain1723 Před 7 měsíci +1

    Powerful!!!!

  • @FreshStart2023
    @FreshStart2023 Před 11 měsíci +1

    So how do you reheal if you already healed from 2 then it happen again twice in the last two years I think they all hit at one time

  • @julieh9355
    @julieh9355 Před 7 lety

    thank you.

  • @PoojaKharpatil-sb9hr
    @PoojaKharpatil-sb9hr Před 6 měsíci

    How can I contact you? I need help

  • @JJJennings007
    @JJJennings007 Před 3 lety +1

    Sorry for your tragic experience , dated in college a girl who was raped and unfortunately it is a non reversible damaging event! Had to break up.

    • @shivangisharma354
      @shivangisharma354 Před rokem +3

      Why break up?

    • @sim_1017
      @sim_1017 Před rokem +2

      Cz sometimes, the trauma would impact the way you embrace relationships

  • @PB-rj6eb
    @PB-rj6eb Před rokem

    How can someone feel trauma 7 yrs after??

    • @user-yl3xg9wb5v
      @user-yl3xg9wb5v Před 11 měsíci +1

      It's been 7 years for me and trust me the pain never goes away. You wake up hurting in the private area and can't stop thinking about it. I even started cutting to dull the pain of getting raped. I'm not cutting anymore and I'm starting to heal but it still hurts so bad. I have nightmares every night of that and I don't think the pain will ever go away

  • @rosaguardado5067
    @rosaguardado5067 Před 9 lety

    Thank you :-))) you help loot..

  • @KATERINAMARGETI
    @KATERINAMARGETI Před 2 lety +2

    Halle Barry

  • @kelleyshahykur3896
    @kelleyshahykur3896 Před 8 lety

    {.Sahaeyym thing here = Stephanie Williams My Kuzan been thru this same thing meiey and HUER and Miy Sistuer Mitchell are the Viktims735IKea.}

  • @melvayaredaguilar
    @melvayaredaguilar Před rokem

    it happened to me with african american black & cookie cutter white

  • @kelleyshahykur3896
    @kelleyshahykur3896 Před 8 lety

    {.Williams-Browns-Garlands-Shakurs-Thomas-Williamsons are miy Fahamley735IKEa.}

  • @ms.wealthyy
    @ms.wealthyy Před 4 měsíci

    What’s her ig