Attract a High Value Man in One SIMPLE Step (it's SO easy!)
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- čas přidán 7. 11. 2019
- Attract a high-value man in one simple step using the process in this video... it will make dating a lot easier for you and cut out a lot of the games men play!
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How do I attract a high-value man? Where do I find good men? How do I get a man to stop playing games? Why do so many men ghost? These are all very common questions I get from clients and students, so here is one super simple technique you can use to show up high value to men on dates so they are attracted to you and want to see you more.
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• Attract a High Value M...
If a woman is confident and knows her self worth, she wouldn't look for validation from a man, it's not his job. Building confidence, self esteem, self worth, is an inside job.
YES you got it my dear!
And likewise, yeah, aren't we women also turned off by unconfident men who are seeking validation from us?
It works both ways... 😉
it absolutely does! men and women fundamentally want the same things just through slightly different lenses :)
It's the same principle as in all human situations.
When you apply for a job, you sooner get the job if you're confident in your value and that you don't necessarily need this particular employer.
Sales people turn off potential buyers if they come across as 'hungry' and desperate to make a sale.
The free-lancer always gets more new contracts when they already have enough and don't need any more at that time.
AMEN sister you are right on the money :)
...and cats. Don't forget about cats! They only approach you when you're calm and relaxed and don't particularly need their attention.
Lovely. This is so easy to understand and yet so, so important. I have made that mistake in the past (seeking validation), which did end up in a co-dependent relationship. I ended it, did the work on myself, and it is so incredibly freeing to know that I do not "need" him anymore ... I can just appreciate him for who he is (from a distance now, but oh well).
YES such an important lesson to learn!! what a blessing that youve had that experience :)
Many hidden gems and treasures in this concise video! Spot on advice to ELEVATE a woman's core essence, focusing solely on the raw and profound connection is essential. Merci beaucoup Mat!
Thanks so much Sheena really appreciate this feedback! Truly beautiful!!
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That makes so much sense. Confidence is alluring.
yesss so true!!!
Thanks Mat ! Awesome to be here
happy to have you!! :)
Thanks for this video. Really got me looking inward
Happy to hear that!
That’s such an important distinction... I’ll be mindful of this in my interactions. Thanks!
beautiful love hearing this
Thank you Matt, I needed to hear this today.
beautiful so glad you enjoyed it!!
Awesome, and to the point! Thank you Matt, I connected with your dating advice 🧡
so glad you liked it my dear! lots more great stuff coming
QUESTION OF THE DAY - What does it look like for you to show up ready for connection on dates?
For me, I'd have to say that to show up ready for connection on dates, means that I am completely open to communicate. That I listen to hear them, to be confident about myself as well as my ability to be open. All while being dressed the part for added measure. Classy yet relatively simple & relaxed look. Oh! And not have any expectations. Just enjoy the night even if the date goes nowhere.
Ahh to show for connection I show up with a big smile, smelling great and ready to listen....
And I mean listen, no cuts off and I ask questions about what he's said not like an interview..
He's less guarded and he feels super comfortable
WOW Darlene yes these are all AMAZING and super magnetic 🧲✨totally ensures you are in the best possible position to create meaningful connection with a man 🤗🤗
You got it Geneva, powerfully holding space is a magnetic game changer for men 🤗🤗❤️
LOVE the way you set this video up, Mat!!! Your energy is calmer and more intimate/connecting, which increases the intensity of your message. The out-of- focus background is brilliant! Can you explain what you mean by "the feminine sets men free"? Free from what? Free for what? Does the masculine set women free?
THANK YOU for this feedback on my new format, TRULY appreciate it!!! That's EXACTLY what I was going for!! :)
to answer your GREAT question ill refer you to another video haha... masculine and feminine energy dynamics are a huge part of the coaching I do! I think I need to rerecord this one and update the format and whatnot, but the content is great! czcams.com/video/khm6td58wVM/video.html
Mat, this is one of my favorite videos. So true and huge huge to connection to men.
YESSSS love it so glad you enjoyed it my dear
Wow, some really great insights, Mat!
thanks Heather appreciate the feedback
Great tip! Love it!
Thanks so much my dear!
Great advice. Thanks for it!! 😚
wonderful so glad you enjoyed it
Wow! Just found your amazing channel, couldn't hit that subscribe button fast enough!
Wonderful! Welcome my dear so happy to have you join the tribe 🤗🤗❤️
Thank you great tips love it
so welcome my dear!
This message is SOOOOOO IMPORTANT !!! Good job !
Thanks so much eva800! 🙏❤️
@@Mat_Shaffer You are welcome :-)
Thank you for this video. All that you have said is true. I have done a great deal of inner work. Even though it has been somewhat painful at times, it is very well worth all the pain. I don't need anyone to complete me, make me whole or make me happy. I already am all of this. It is my responsibility to make me happy, not any man.
amen sister! love it!! you are ENOUGH
@@Mat_Shaffer thank you so very much.
Attorney? That is impressive. This is a good video. I would like to have example scenarios to really see the difference.
Thanks my dear! Yes I will definitely include examples of both in my next video on this subjects 🤗🤗❤️
Thank you for this video. You put the words I was seeking for in front of me haha
amazing so glad you liked it!! :)
This is really great advice! It gave me an ah ha moment! Thank you ♥️
Glad it was helpful!
Thank you for this video Mat!
I used to be that girl! I have deep fears... and was looking for validation.
Almost lost the guy... and decided to let go of my fears, trust him and the universe. Trusting he is trustworthy, I showed some vulnerability and still be confident in who I am.
Walking in this relationship with him with an open mind and trust. I on’t need him, I want to connect with him and that makes a huge difference
YES it makes all teh difference!!
Just wanted to share a little update. He is slipping away, he seems to want more fysical intimacy than what I want at this moment. I am looking for real connection - finding that balance is the hardest part 😅
Trusting myself and life, not looking for validation anymore I just let go. Not being scared to loose him (although I really like him and it stings)
My biggest fear was to be lured into a “sexual” connection and it seems that this is happening, I played the game too, residuals of my old self probably.
I don’t blame myself anymore! I trusted, it happened... it was nice, I don’t regret!
Growing!!!
little voice in my head is still hoping he’ll turn around and be back... but if not, so be it!
Not looking for validation and cling to a man ☺️
Life lesson here
Your awesome!!!
thanks my dear!!
Aha! So true, Mat. I probably did this in my 20s and at vulnerable times in my life, like after the breakup of my marriage. But now, thank God, I am smart enough to seek connection and not waste my time with the wrong dudes. Now I just let those guys go when I see the red flags.
MMHM let them go and find ones who are all GREEN flags! discernment is everything :)
Hello Mat.
Canadian subscriber here.
Great info.
Hi Carly! Fantastic so glad you enjoyed it 🤗🤗
@@Mat_Shaffer 👍
Thanks for the excellent content as usual! Curious to know if there are any dating sites you would reccomend? Or if not, a video on why you don't reccomend them? For us that don't get out much socially.
Deriene Williams great question! I’ve found that Bumble and Hinge are two great newer free options with higher quality prospects... and then OkCupid and Match are great traditional sites with huge memberships and Match has a pay barrier that filters out a lot of the riff raff :)
@@Mat_Shaffer Thanks so much! I'll give them a try!
Great let us know how it goes!
great video Mat, but where do we find them? where do they hang out?
you can literally meet them anywhere - the question to ask is... are you demonstrating that you are open to connection when you go out into the world?
You’re so right! Needing nothing from a person but seeking connection is the key here! I also deeply believe that you should be loved for who you are. BUT I can’t help thinking a little bit further in the „you‘re good as you are“ statement. It shouldn‘t prevent you to look deep into getting a better person every day. There are several human beings out there who would misunderstand the concept of „you‘re worthy and good as you are“ as validation that there is no need to change bad behaviors.
TRUE we absolutely get to walk the line of loving who we are and not settling for WHERE we are... the inner work of becoming our best selves is an ongoing and continual journey
Mat Shaffer Beautifully said ❤️
Hi Mat. I've just discovered your channel and I really do appreciate your content. I agree with so much of what you shared in this video. I totally agree that we must be our own source of validation and this all starts from within. I have a question though as there are a number of other great voices in this wonderful online space who talk about how if you never 'need' a man, he can begin to feel a little redundant in the woman's life. Another coach I have great respect for mentioned that the kind of woman who exudes the vibe of really not needing a man for anything can run the risk of attracting beta-omega type males. Her argument for this was quite compelling. It's very possible that I have misunderstood something somewhere along the line so please understand I'm not making anybody wrong here. I'm just trying to understand as I'm hearing some great perspectives but some of them sometimes seem to contradict each other which has left me feeling quite confused about this.
Maria Rossi Do you need some help?
Thanks for this great question! I agree there are so many perspectives and opinions out there on how to "show up" in dating with men... I think the most important thing to focus on is loving and celebrating who you are and what your value is, and not showing up "needing" a man to fill a void within you. Men want to feel needed and important, but we DONT want to feel solely responsible for our womans happiness or fulfillment - if that pressure gets put on us, a relationship becomes work and loses that freeing "spark" that makes it so intoxicating and magnetic to us. Its the differnce between codependency and interdependency. Have you heard of the dependency paradox?
@@himanshusarda138 Thank you for your kindness.
@@Mat_Shaffer It is indeed true - there are a plethora of perspectives out there and many of them make sense to me on some level. I do appreciate your response to my question and what you had to say certainly does make sense. I haven't heard of the dependency paradox actually? I'm curious about it. To refer back to my earlier question, it feels as if a man might therefore 'go off' a woman if she's a bit more needy at certain points when she's perhaps having a challenging time with a certain aspect of her life. It's a delicate dance I guess.
Hi Matt! need your advice! please do let me know your idea or opinion...What would you say if a man you are seeing or dating asks you "what governs your emotions?' what would you say? I have my own ans but i wana hear your opinion thank you so mucu
Hmm interesting... what’s the context for him saying that? Like why is he asking you that?
@@Mat_Shaffer Hi!!!! omg I cant believe you actually ans me haha! but yeah I have no idea as to why but I kinda feel he is seizing me or what really I have no clue.....but our conversation was all about emotions at that time hence the questions I guess thanks Matt!
@@yasminleyva2120 I've had that 'emotions' talk with a guy before. Turned out he was the emotional one. My impression was someone who acted before he thought and I was right. Made me extremely wary of him and not fully trust him. He turned out exactly as I speculated. I don't know if this helps any.
Let me add that he may have been sizing you up ( in my view that was a foolish question to ask) or he may have been trying to gauge your likely reactions to him in the future. My guess is the latter.
@@adj5767 hi there thank you for sharing your thoughts with me
It’s the daddy issues. If you didn’t receive that healthy love of a man (your father) growing up, you’ll seek that validation.
Thanks for sharing!
Seek connection instead of validation
I appreciate your opinion on this!
💙
How did your legal training crossover to coaching females? Lawyers are not touchy /feely...... Just about padding the invoice and profiting on people's pain
Thanks for sharing!
All of connection and asking deeper God can answer everything because your episode is love the answer is sake the kingdom of God and real .. everlasting love is from God is true Love ❤️..thanks
amen!