One simple trick to reclaim your power | Kasia Urbaniak | TEDxRosario

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  • čas přidán 28. 04. 2020
  • Throughout centuries, women have been trained to give up their power. With a simple communicational hack, they can reclaim their power when facing gender inequality, no matter the stakes. But the question is, why do women freeze in the first place? In this provocative and insightful talk, Kasia Urbaniak explores the effects of cultural conditioning and the difference between power and gender dynamics, while teaching us to change the way we have conversations as a society, so both women and men can reach their full potential as human beings.
    Kasia Urbaniak spent 17 years studying to become a Taoist nun. To foot the bill for her studies, she worked as a high-paid (and extremely successful) dominatrix in dungeons around New York City. What she learned in these two wildly different settings has turned into her life’s work, teaching women about power dynamics and influence to become better leaders. Her mission: to redefine what it means to be a good girl.
    This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

Komentáře • 131

  • @priagrace724
    @priagrace724 Před 2 lety +72

    This might be the best thing I've ever seen on the internet.

  • @jimwinter-card.114
    @jimwinter-card.114 Před 3 lety +64

    My wife discovered Kasia, I have become obsessed. She is so brilliant and exactly on point! I am a HUGE fan and learning from her so much!!

  • @sudheshkumaran6608
    @sudheshkumaran6608 Před 3 lety +54

    What an amazing message. This must be one of the most powerful message that must be delivered to our kids in school so that our community evolves overtime.

  • @robinreinach8457
    @robinreinach8457 Před 4 lety +51

    Kasia Urbaniak explains why women sometimes feel tongue tied at the exact moment when we most want to speak. And Kasia offers a practical solution that is immediately usable by women in the real world. Kasia's delivery is exemplary and her attitude is generous, tender, and brilliant.

  • @FYPNLP
    @FYPNLP Před 3 lety +38

    I've taken Kasia's verbal course which is the ted talk in minute granular detail and I can attest it really does work. Just as you have to exercise to get the body you want for your physical health you have to be consistent in learning how to turn the spotlight. This coupled with NLP linguistics will allow you to break the freeze and own a conversation and not let the power dynamic 'own you'.

    • @roxannerodriguez7075
      @roxannerodriguez7075 Před rokem +2

      Thank you. I'll be looking into both! 😊

    • @FYPNLP
      @FYPNLP Před rokem

      @@roxannerodriguez7075 The course is called the verbal dojo

  • @metabolicmarybeth
    @metabolicmarybeth Před 4 lety +49

    Brilliant. Impactful. Actionable.
    Thank you Kasia for being a bright light in the dark for many women.

  • @raebarto3424
    @raebarto3424 Před 2 lety +17

    This concept has been a game changer for me. I’ve started practicing “questioning back” and the power I feel within myself is amazing. I’m about to read Kasia’s book because I want more.

  • @kaiawang9593
    @kaiawang9593 Před 2 lety +15

    One of the most powerful TED Talks I've ever watched! So true and empowering for women.

    • @tahnyaiva4494
      @tahnyaiva4494 Před rokem +2

      Agreed!!!

    • @theresad7072
      @theresad7072 Před rokem +2

      Also empowering for men by illustrating how what we call toxic masculinity can be very self-destructive, counterproductive & impotent.
      Business author Jim Collins suggested the most effective business leaders ("Level 5" leaders) have a high questions - to - statements ratios in their communications.

  • @jarodandbrandiokano2348
    @jarodandbrandiokano2348 Před rokem +4

    I took your advice about asking a question with a question and it totally worked. Not only did it stop the person but I also got an apology for them asking the question. It did make me feel so inpowered.

    • @theresad7072
      @theresad7072 Před rokem +1

      Answering a question with another question is something Jesus did often and it forever changed the 🌎 world.

    • @roxannerodriguez7075
      @roxannerodriguez7075 Před rokem

      ​@@theresad7072 very true!

  • @LizLaManche1
    @LizLaManche1 Před 4 lety +31

    A simple yet revolutionary concept of the dynamics at work in communication and personal power. Inspiring, with a real-world practice you can use right away.

  • @ShootTheMoonStudio
    @ShootTheMoonStudio Před 4 lety +38

    This is pure, piercing, unadulterated genius. Ya just know it when you hear it. So rare.

    • @user-yg5cd6kp8n
      @user-yg5cd6kp8n Před 3 lety

      ق!@$!!!××××-°°°``•☆○▪°`°•`○~```` قذفبثقبثثثتلقائيبسسسءسسس٢٢٣بيضوذشقبثثثفف٤ق٣لقشق٣

  • @stephaniebryant8616
    @stephaniebryant8616 Před 4 lety +16

    I am deeply moved by this woman and her work. This simple tool is a profound strategy to interrupt learned behavior in a way that brings us closer to what we want from ourselves and each other. So very powerful!

  • @Mahrukh1997
    @Mahrukh1997 Před 3 lety +11

    This is wonderful. It got me thinking about experiences in my own personal life. I can definitely relate to the freeze as a woman. It's time we realized dominance and gender dynamics are two completely different things!

  • @fitfizz
    @fitfizz Před 4 lety +14

    Yes! Yes! Yes! Pure empowerment! So much admiration for Kasia.

  • @frusia123
    @frusia123 Před 3 lety +26

    She's the goddess we have been waiting for 🙂💙

  • @sydneymav
    @sydneymav Před rokem +2

    hate how we treat women as less. when they just might be better than men. maybe neither is better but both deserve RESPECT

  • @pdxbk
    @pdxbk Před 3 lety +19

    Bravo! I've just watched a master share. Thank you. Came here from Russell Brand's teaser clip of their podcast.

    • @hassanarour
      @hassanarour Před 3 lety

      االقلبشصثبببقبىررررررىئرضيصبشبسبةىىىةىةبضفالتتتت٤٧٧شسكتععتللللث٥٥٤٤ققبث٤٥فففففهع٦غاا

    • @gulnuraltmsdort8994
      @gulnuraltmsdort8994 Před 3 lety

      @@hassanarour ğ8ü

  • @FreyaGem
    @FreyaGem Před 3 lety +11

    Wow. This was exceptional...had to watch it two times in a row!

  • @MonifaHarris
    @MonifaHarris Před 4 měsíci

    I've read her book many times and I still am floored by the simple brilliance of her work. I'm still working on the not easy part

  • @roopa123451
    @roopa123451 Před 3 lety +7

    Fascinating.....you can see the truth of what she says if you watch yourself

  • @mixedupbd9435
    @mixedupbd9435 Před 3 lety +9

    Wow impressive , actionable, motivated

  • @grantlindsley2189
    @grantlindsley2189 Před 4 lety +16

    Love attention as the focal point. This is great.

    • @nfjejcfjfhejd4142
      @nfjejcfjfhejd4142 Před 3 lety

      ننننةتوززز
      زننكج
      ج
      ج
      ج
      ن
      ح
      ج
      نتززن

    • @nfjejcfjfhejd4142
      @nfjejcfjfhejd4142 Před 3 lety

      زنن
      ح
      جخ
      جخ
      ح
      مد
      م
      نظ
      ن
      ننننن
      هنههه
      ههههههك
      هههح
      هك
      طم
      نن

  • @anachocolate1262
    @anachocolate1262 Před 2 lety +7

    I wished I knew about this talk before ! 😪💜

  • @mhuuudhaarrarhhhmmmez4829

    This gives me hope.. that there are *1stly* (finding that more) -'PEOPLE' (but who are content to reason!).. but more (last but not least)..
    There is a real woman that can speak so strongly on the objectives and relevant condition in intelligence on upper degree to relate rightly (as!)

  • @giselamoda
    @giselamoda Před 4 lety +44

    I want you to think about the dominant and submissive states of attention like your right hand and your left hand. You need both of them, you need to know how to use them and use them well. Up until now we’ve been asking men to cut off one hand and women to cut off the other and the result in terms of human communication has been catastrophic. Kasia Urbaniak

  • @rubymaubert3605
    @rubymaubert3605 Před 3 lety +4

    Wow!!!! Simply wow. Easy, straight forward, truly genius. Brillaint

  • @tahnyaiva4494
    @tahnyaiva4494 Před rokem +1

    This should have millions of views

  • @karenwest4925
    @karenwest4925 Před 2 lety +3

    Absolutely needed to watch this. Brilliant thank you!

  • @gigimoss
    @gigimoss Před 3 lety +3

    I just got Kasia's book and I'm so excited!!!

  • @pnartugaykaraca5862
    @pnartugaykaraca5862 Před 3 lety +5

    This truly nails it! Thank you for the fantastic analysis of the state of things as they are and ways to handle them differently. I am absolutely going to try this for myself and share it.

  • @markobrkovic6651
    @markobrkovic6651 Před 2 lety +2

    I Put her as Superior being and I am her servant and I am proud my and most important her life is now Heaven

  • @loufur4502
    @loufur4502 Před rokem +1

    That's great for some situations and in some situations when you are out of the room you might get punished later for being in control in a blindsided and ambushed way so having a sense of discernment.

  • @marcelaparedes8364
    @marcelaparedes8364 Před 3 lety +9

    Finally, spanish subtitles done. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

  • @Singirl22
    @Singirl22 Před 4 lety +8

    Absolutely brilliant!!! So clearly explained. Thank you. 🙏🏾

  • @ijeomarichards6402
    @ijeomarichards6402 Před 4 lety +6

    Amazingly simplified truth.

  • @shiram88
    @shiram88 Před 2 lety +3

    Wow, this is VERY helpful!!! ❤❤❤

  • @beatriceroosmark9796
    @beatriceroosmark9796 Před měsícem

    Bought the book!! Loving this ❤️

  • @marcelaparedes8364
    @marcelaparedes8364 Před 3 lety +5

    GREAT TALK! I'd love to share that the spanish version will be available soon! I enjoyed so much translating this talk!

  • @gazelson4545
    @gazelson4545 Před 3 lety +4

    Very powerful.

  • @RoyceMunday56
    @RoyceMunday56 Před 3 lety +3

    Marvellous talk from an individual perspective... over-generalised to 'all boys' and 'all girls' - I accept that we must see things from our own experience. Thank you.

  • @ClaudiaBVogas
    @ClaudiaBVogas Před 2 lety +1

    Sandler Sales calls this reversing! It does not have to be men to put the pressure on women. It happened to me often by women who crossed a boundary.

  • @Camila-do8ot
    @Camila-do8ot Před rokem

    So eloquent, this topic is really important

  • @wiolettaaleksandra9097
    @wiolettaaleksandra9097 Před 3 lety +2

    💕💕💕 Kasia, pozdrawiam 🇵🇱 🇵🇱 🇵🇱

  • @dapsolita
    @dapsolita Před 3 lety +7

    ".....a fluid switching between dominant and submissive states." That's what I look for at the dog park.
    All healthy mammals are basically the same.

  • @robertatterton3102
    @robertatterton3102 Před 4 lety +4

    I am impressed, good work!!!

    • @Jeshuaben_joseph
      @Jeshuaben_joseph Před 3 lety +1

      Robert Atterton, this is NOT about YOU being impressed. Wow. Here is the problem in plain view.

  • @eemonexali
    @eemonexali Před 2 lety

    This is exactly.. what I needed. Thank you so much ❤️

  • @SarahGK333
    @SarahGK333 Před rokem

    How is it that there are 355K views, yet only 110 Comments on this piece of mastery?

  • @estudiom142
    @estudiom142 Před 4 lety +3

    Bestial! Amazing!!!

  • @MsMerkley
    @MsMerkley Před 4 lety +21

    Woooo! More of this hotness, less freezing women!

  • @md.raselal-farabi5796
    @md.raselal-farabi5796 Před 3 lety +2

    Energetic

  • @natieleskate
    @natieleskate Před rokem +1

    eu amei isso, i loved it

  • @solfh
    @solfh Před 13 dny

    I noticed this when I am dating, I realized men would avoid answering without me reclaiming an answer back and I just talk about my own conclusions and never get their real opinion. While I would answer all their questions automatically even if they are uncomfortable🙄

  • @tahnyaiva4494
    @tahnyaiva4494 Před rokem

    Absolutely incredible!!!

  • @goltanprav6389
    @goltanprav6389 Před 4 lety +1

    really nice speech!!

  • @amazingyear9042
    @amazingyear9042 Před 3 lety +9

    what men DO vs how woman ARE... societal training.

  • @yomarcelojeje
    @yomarcelojeje Před 3 lety

    Great one.

  • @niomiphi5295
    @niomiphi5295 Před 3 lety +1

    thanks for this

  • @ReclaimByBeingYou
    @ReclaimByBeingYou Před 6 měsíci

    love this

  • @johnsnow4065
    @johnsnow4065 Před 3 lety +2

    nice speech

  • @martinhalsey843
    @martinhalsey843 Před 4 lety +2

    thumbs up!!!

  • @JC-ce8uw
    @JC-ce8uw Před 3 lety

    Amazing 💞💞💞

  • @elisetaylor9228
    @elisetaylor9228 Před 4 lety +1

    Fantastic

  • @abuhakur193
    @abuhakur193 Před 3 lety +1

    Awesome

  • @beronicad.2580
    @beronicad.2580 Před rokem

    👏 spot on!

  • @tdr_paraadvisor3996
    @tdr_paraadvisor3996 Před 2 lety

    2022....thank you for this...do you do any narcissism videos (like surviving narcissistic abuse) ?

  • @UmerFarooq-vx6ht
    @UmerFarooq-vx6ht Před 3 lety

    Amazing

  • @BeingPeace922
    @BeingPeace922 Před 9 měsíci

    Excellent

  • @haripadadas7442
    @haripadadas7442 Před 6 měsíci

    Best

  • @beatriceroosmark9796
    @beatriceroosmark9796 Před měsícem

    ALWAYS APPROPRIATE TO ASK WHY SOMEONE IS ASKING A QUESTION!!! ❤️

  • @EverydaylifewithGael
    @EverydaylifewithGael Před rokem

    Big factssssss

  • @ShalomSarahJoy
    @ShalomSarahJoy Před 5 měsíci +2

    KASIA FOR PRESIDENT 2024

  • @timbongterence1400
    @timbongterence1400 Před rokem

    I thank my father power Amen

  • @angelaangela7168
    @angelaangela7168 Před 5 měsíci

    GENIALNE! BRAWO!!!!

  • @mantos1611
    @mantos1611 Před 3 lety

  • @SundayCookingRemix
    @SundayCookingRemix Před 9 měsíci

    Amen

  • @zapkaalia5006
    @zapkaalia5006 Před 3 lety

    👍👍

  • @mehmetcoban1593
    @mehmetcoban1593 Před 3 lety

    Tamam

  • @AlwaysHereAndNow
    @AlwaysHereAndNow Před 3 lety +1

    That was amazing! But what's up with the fake crowd?

  • @fiat2496
    @fiat2496 Před rokem +2

    Is there a Tedtalk about women reclaiming their hearts?

  • @annusnoob1970
    @annusnoob1970 Před 3 lety

    👍

  • @seriousgaming6969
    @seriousgaming6969 Před 3 lety

    Good

  • @evadebruijn
    @evadebruijn Před 11 měsíci

    🙏❣️
    ✌️

  • @jenniferstclair8615
    @jenniferstclair8615 Před 3 lety +5

    I loved what you are saying but I get in trouble when I speak at times. I speak as I see it calls a spoon a spoon call a fork a fork. I have a relationship with a Muslim guy who in my opinion have a problem expressing himself to me. I am very independent assertive sometimes bold and hold a senior position in my job. So I try not to say much around him

  • @claudetesiqueira310
    @claudetesiqueira310 Před 3 lety

    Traduzir em português

  • @TOPTRENDING10M
    @TOPTRENDING10M Před 4 lety +3

    Stay home, stay safe everyone. Time doesn't stop, so hard times will pass too.

  • @sebo641
    @sebo641 Před 2 lety

    Intro is a bit run on but it's worth staying

  • @Angrymobs62
    @Angrymobs62 Před rokem

    I like that outfit though

  • @UmerFarooq-vx6ht
    @UmerFarooq-vx6ht Před 3 lety

    :)

  • @rafaelsontaya2835
    @rafaelsontaya2835 Před 2 lety +1

    Trauma response at work!

  • @michaelapril2463
    @michaelapril2463 Před rokem

    Kolejny jakże pusty ale nowoczesny baniak - K. Urbaniak.

  • @hasancltk1635
    @hasancltk1635 Před 3 lety

    Z

  • @Facts-First
    @Facts-First Před 3 lety

    What a pretty

  • @utsavpathak7185
    @utsavpathak7185 Před rokem

    What about start with cleaning dishes.

  • @sgordon8123
    @sgordon8123 Před 3 lety +3

    The shoes ruin it for me. They are so crazy! Surely men make you want to wear such ridiculous shoes? Be bolder. Be comfortable. Be healthy. Women don't need to wear power dress stuff. You are enough without them.

    • @katietheriault6387
      @katietheriault6387 Před 2 lety +11

      Your attention on her looks rather than her work/message speaks exactly to her point.

    • @daniellek7233
      @daniellek7233 Před 4 měsíci

      ​@@katietheriault6387 the irony 😂😂

  • @jameshendershott2170
    @jameshendershott2170 Před rokem

    men don't need the instructions. We aren't necessarily agreeable. Personally I think it's a big mistake for a woman to man up on men by asking them questions. This technique is just a band-aid, and the root problem will continue to resurface until basic insecurity is taken care of.

  • @eve4468
    @eve4468 Před 4 lety +2

    Good message, shame you had to make it political. Lost me there, as a woman, your example doesn't speak to me and frankly diverted your focus and goal.

    • @urbanet1939
      @urbanet1939 Před 3 lety +7

      It’s still true if you look at her example objectively. Her paradigm goes beyond politics. It’s universal.

    • @GinaHatzisTooMuchWoman
      @GinaHatzisTooMuchWoman Před rokem

      Her political example is poignant and relevant

  • @Katu3572
    @Katu3572 Před 2 lety

    Creepy

  • @beenishtariq2850
    @beenishtariq2850 Před 3 lety

    Awesome

  • @huzaifalia504
    @huzaifalia504 Před 3 lety

    Best

  • @otisdesigns4434
    @otisdesigns4434 Před 3 lety

    👍