First Time Hearing Coming Down by Five Finger Death Punch | Suicide Survivor Reacts

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  • čas přidán 25. 08. 2024
  • If you, like most of us, never had Happiness 101 in school, let me be your teacher! Learn the EXACT steps I took in overcoming clinical depression, addiction, self harm and going from ready to end it all to happier than I thought possible. amandawebsterh...
    I have a special project in the works that will change the mental health world. Patreon pledges will be going toward that (and ongoing projects.) Patreons get priority song reactions, twice a month live streams, personalized pictures, exclusive reactions and a peek at upcoming reactions. EVERY SINGLE DIME GOES TOWARD MY MENTAL HEALTH OUTREACH!!!!!
    / amandawebsterhealth
    This is my reaction to my first time hearing Coming Down by Five Finger Death Punch from the American Capitalist album. There is SO much to unravel here from suicide to bullying to body dysmorphia and eating disorders to self-harm. I needed to see and hear this and it is a great addition for the channel.
    Follow me on IG: @mentalamanda
    amanda@amandawebsterhealth.com
    - Suicide Hotlines by Country: tinyurl.com/ft...
    Recommended Playlist (VLOG: My Mental Health Journey)
    tinyurl.com/Me...
    Recommended Video (First Time Hearing Maybe It's Time by SIXX AM | Recovered Addict Reacts)
    tinyurl.com/yu...

Komentáře • 448

  • @MentalAmanda
    @MentalAmanda  Před 2 lety +66

    💖Keep the mental health conversation going by sharing your story here in the comments. No matter where you are in your journey, you have a safe place here to share your struggles and accomplishments without judgment. This is how we shatter the mental health stigma.💖
    And if you need some direction and would like me to be your Happiness teacher, you can sign up for my Happiness Boost course here:
    amandawebsterhealth.com/happiness-boost/

    • @scottlally8374
      @scottlally8374 Před 2 lety

      Next song by citizen soldier called stronger than my strom can you react to that music video please and hello from Ireland 🇮🇪🇮🇪🇮🇪🇮🇪🇮🇪🇮🇪🇮🇪🇮🇪🇮🇪🇮🇪🇮🇪🇮🇪

    • @ski2k2000
      @ski2k2000 Před 2 lety

      Nearly didn't make it through last weekend. Called my (adult) daughter and asked her to take me to the hospital, or I might not make it to Monday.
      Spent 3 1/2 days in the ER. Feeling better now.
      If possible, please react to "How Will I Laugh Tomorrow (When I Can't Even Smile Today)? By Suicidal Tendencies. The long version please. The official video loses a verse that I feel is important.
      Thanks, Amanda. Keep up your great work!

    • @danbest8669
      @danbest8669 Před 2 lety +1

      Thank you for making this video.

    • @MentalAmanda
      @MentalAmanda  Před 2 lety +4

      @@ski2k2000 I am so proud of you for doing what you needed to do to keep yourself safe. I'm happy you're still here. It's on my general list.

    • @jamessteinhoff7711
      @jamessteinhoff7711 Před 2 lety +3

      It's called the tragic truth it's about his demons and alcoholism

  • @static2430
    @static2430 Před 2 lety +43

    I'm glad you got to this one. The look of relief on your face when they made it out alive hit me just as much as this video does every single time.

  • @poesenpai6475
    @poesenpai6475 Před 2 lety +65

    Thank you so much for reacting to this song. This song has saved my life many times and is extremely personal to me. Right now I'm going through a lot in my personal life with my mental health and really struggling. This reaction really did a lot for me. So again I want to say thank you for making this video.

    • @MentalAmanda
      @MentalAmanda  Před 2 lety +8

      Don't try to struggle alone. Reach out to myself or someone here in the comments. We've got your back.

    • @poesenpai6475
      @poesenpai6475 Před 2 lety +2

      @@MentalAmanda thank you so much that really means a lot. Luckily for me I have a great support system.

    • @darkblightballas7445
      @darkblightballas7445 Před 2 lety +3

      @@MentalAmanda when it comes to addiction or depression I deal with it the best way and most responsible way possible go God of War on their ass 😈 show them that I am not afraid of them anymore

    • @skullyradford9746
      @skullyradford9746 Před 2 lety +2

      Yes i agree this song say everything right how i feel in life

    • @darkblightballas7445
      @darkblightballas7445 Před 2 lety +1

      @@janedoex1398 probably a good idea to clarify that that method that I shared is not for everyone that's just me though I do apologize if they accept you

  • @dvon9392
    @dvon9392 Před 2 lety +106

    I survived 3 attempted suicides. I was lucky each time. This video is probably the most accurate depiction of suicide in terms of methods and how it feels when you're about to do it and I like how it emphasizes just how important a person's support system is in how they can survive it.

    • @MentalAmanda
      @MentalAmanda  Před 2 lety +21

      I'm VERY happy you're still here. Keep fighting!

    • @janedoex1398
      @janedoex1398 Před 2 lety +7

      I am glad you are still here, even though I don't know you and you don't know me, but every single one who doesn't give in is a total WIN in this crazy, ongoing struggle.
      🧡

    • @unluckydiablo9502
      @unluckydiablo9502 Před 2 lety +2

      Same here. Been fighting mental health since I was a kid. Now I try to help others, because I know what they're going through. Please do the same, we have a unique perspective and we can help people with it.

    • @johnmutz9919
      @johnmutz9919 Před 2 lety

      💪 be strong, troubles will come and they will pass

    • @azraelselvmord3650
      @azraelselvmord3650 Před rokem

      4 for me. I have accepted that I'll continue to exist. Until I won't.

  • @jasonwilliams5925
    @jasonwilliams5925 Před 2 lety +31

    While I was growing up I never felt I was good enough for anything or anyone, then, I found music and music saved my life. It allowed me to deal and defeat all those demons that plagued me. I still have days that are rough but, my new mantra is “ I woke up today, so today is a good day!” Keep doing what you are doing Amanda!! You are showing a lot of people old and young that there is hope and that life is so worth it! It’s a gift!! I’m great full for my bad days because they remind how amazing the good days are!!!

  • @roguemerlin1969
    @roguemerlin1969 Před 2 lety +21

    I am writing this only 31 seconds into your video. I know this group and this song very well. While I'm 70, my struggle began in my teens, and I still struggle daily with depression and thoughts of suicide. As I said, I know this song and was worried about how it would affect you. I hope it wasn't too hard to watch, remember, you aren't alone.

    • @MentalAmanda
      @MentalAmanda  Před 2 lety +2

      You aren't either. Reach out any time!

    • @janedoex1398
      @janedoex1398 Před 2 lety +1

      I don't know what to say ....
      Maybe that you must be a very strong person, who knows that you don't want to die, but doesn't know how to life easily with all the sh!t that comes with mental and or physical illness(es).
      ( I assume, I DON'T PRETEND I KNOW YOUR REASONS !)
      ( I have "only" almost 3 decades on my calender so far....)
      You have my respect and I hope I can learn better coping mechanisms , because atm I'm not in a good place.
      I hope I didn't offend or trigger you in any way , I was just trying to show my respect for fighting this fight for so long.
      I guess I have a lot to learn, still and foremost I HAVE TO TRY HARDER.
      THANK YOU.

    • @roguemerlin1969
      @roguemerlin1969 Před 2 lety +2

      @@janedoex1398 I know it is hard, just remember that you are not alone. Take it one day at a time, try not to dwell on the past which can't be changed, and set short term goals that are within your reach and celebrate when you accomplish them. It doesn't have to be anything big, clean the house, buy groceries, do the laundry, I have to consciously do these things or I might not for weeks. I'm not doing good, but I'm doing better. Even when it is at it's darkest, there is always a little light if you look for it. I don't know if any of this will help you, but just know that you are not alone.

    • @janedoex1398
      @janedoex1398 Před 2 lety +1

      @@roguemerlin1969 Omg , thank you! That's what I struggle most with .....the past. I can't let it go , because if I get a real trigger, my BPD will take over and I'll either go on a verbal rampage on who ever hurt me in the past , or - more likely - on myself, physically in every way I can and mentally of course. Or if ( the first one which is more likely the more someone pressures me ) explode on someone I care deeply, the harder I go down on myself, like trying dance moves while a train comes in . ( and DUH....nobody ever cared) so I try even harder.....It's just so .....effed up.

  • @roguemerlin1969
    @roguemerlin1969 Před 2 lety +21

    My interpretation as young suicide survivor is that the solid ground was or should have been their family life. Both felt that they could never be or live up to what their parents wanted them to be. The girl didn't hate her body image, she knew she was beautiful, but she did blame her good looks for the problems she was having. "Cutters" generally do it because the pain lets them know they are alive or as a cry for attention. The boy was probably a geek with few social skills, so he felt he didn't fit in and was bullied because he was different. There were two animation sequences, the girl saw the monsters as coming out of her computer and ripping her heart out, the boy saw the monsters as entering his body and eating him from the inside out. Method of choice for women is often drugs, and with men guns or hanging.

    • @therayven3147
      @therayven3147 Před 2 lety +3

      You know, it's funny... I was just thinking almost that exact same thing before I read this...
      You know, the method is also a type of communication as well... Cutters such as myself, get so numb they feel they can't feel anything anymore... Sometimes, the pain is our only companion... Eventually, we get so lonely, we just cut so deep we bleed out and die... The gun... Also drug overdose, is usually a result of bullying or abuse... You have been hurt so bad, you go one of two ways, either violently, with the gun, or you just want the pain to go away so bad, and go away forever, you use drugs... Hanging and jumping is a sign of worthlessness... You feel so worthless you don't care anymore... Sorta like a disrespect to one's self... And death by car/truck/train, or suicide by cop etc, is more of a vengeful type of suicide... You are so angry with life, you end it at the cost of altering people around you... So you jump a n front of that car/truck/train etc, or force a cop to shoot you and kill you, knowing it will forever alter that other person's life...
      I too am a suicide survivor, and I took to studying psychology, and that's how I came up with these theories...

  • @Belky83
    @Belky83 Před 22 dny

    I can’t praise you enough for helping to spread positivity and support those of us who hide behind our smiles. 🥰

  • @Asylum3D
    @Asylum3D Před 5 měsíci +1

    One stranger can save a life. Thank you Erin. Your random hug and you just looking into my eyes saying "it just looked like you could use a friendly hug" made me want to survive. Without you I would have never made it through high school. Hug somebody. It does save lives.

  • @dragonstar7688
    @dragonstar7688 Před 2 lety +6

    This video makes people have such a visceral reaction when they first watch it. When I first saw it I didn’t even know I was crying until I felt on my shirt then I spent 5 minutes just balling my eyes out this song needs to be heard. I suffer from depression several times in my life but it’s not too severe but I’ve had some really awful days but my worst was short because my mom was there and pulled me out of my own head I love her even more for that. Reach out there is someone who will listen.

  • @liftedleprechaun5442
    @liftedleprechaun5442 Před 2 lety +4

    Never fails, such a genuine reaction! I love your content. Keep it up!

  • @slap_A_flamingo
    @slap_A_flamingo Před 2 lety +13

    This song is awesome so are Five Finger Death Punch. Never Enough is another great 5FDP song.
    A lot of their songs hold a lot of value for people. For me I tried to long to be what everyone wanted me to be. Happy-go-lucky kind of think. Ended up going on a three month long drug and alcohol binge. Now I'm happy-ish with who I am. Never be completely happy though, as a lot of people can be.

    • @MentalAmanda
      @MentalAmanda  Před 2 lety +1

      Nobody is happy all the time! You're doing great!

    • @slap_A_flamingo
      @slap_A_flamingo Před 2 lety

      @@MentalAmanda Thank you. Love your channel. Keep up the good work.

  • @monolit73
    @monolit73 Před 2 lety +8

    She is called the queen of goosebumps, a unique voice - contralto with polyphonic overtones. "Together with her tessitura, it identifies her potential voice type as dramatic contralto, the deepest, darkest, and most powerful contralto voice." (Wikipedia about Diana)
    Full vocal range - 4 octaves.
    The most famous hit of the king of rock 'n' roll in an unrivaled gorgeous, phenomenal performance by Diana Ankudinova ( 18 y.o.)
    Can’t Help Falling in Love (Elvis Presley / DARK VERSION cover)
    Please react to Diana Ankudinova !
    Last year, the number of reactions to Diana exceeded the number of 10 thousand reactions (in my playlist section there are two playlists of 5 thousand reactions each). This year, 1,500 more reactions have been added to them.

    • @monolit73
      @monolit73 Před 2 lety +3

      Can’t Help Falling in Love
      Extended version re-released on Diana's official channel
      czcams.com/video/M-znD6QKbrg/video.html

    • @vdubrovskiy9092
      @vdubrovskiy9092 Před 2 lety +3

      Diana Ankudinova is an amazing singer,her voice fascinates!

  • @bm03431
    @bm03431 Před 2 lety +4

    May your light only grow stronger. Godspeed young lady.

  • @columbiariverdetailing1943

    I was bullied as a kid, by the time I hit middle school I was the biggest toughest kid on the block. Kids who were say different, or were outcast the got bullied always came to me. I became a sheepdog. I started kicking ass, standing for those who couldn't stand. Bullying ended quickly. Then after I graduated I joined the US Army. And continued my journey

    • @johnbubba1143
      @johnbubba1143 Před 2 lety

      Sheepdog forever bro. Wolf hunters til the end.

    • @therayven3147
      @therayven3147 Před 2 lety +1

      That should be your military callsign... "Sheepdog"... I like it...

  • @robertryder3319
    @robertryder3319 Před 3 měsíci

    I am experiencing sever depression due to my wife's recent surprise death, and this song encapsulates a lot of my daily thoughts...Thanks for your Kind words...

  • @jeremymiller7932
    @jeremymiller7932 Před 2 lety +1

    This video hits me hard. Last year my 17 year old nephew took his own life. We never saw the warning signs until afterward. Please continue your advocacy for those battling depression and suicide. It is so important!

  • @lucasahlberg4340
    @lucasahlberg4340 Před 2 lety +1

    thank you I realy needed this just to cry it all out, this song keept me from doing it and it is really close to my heart. Thank you for everything you do you are a hero

  • @user-sw2xp8tl9b
    @user-sw2xp8tl9b Před 2 měsíci

    Amanda i have watched everything you have done have told my story i had to pause and i can't watch this one but i am saving when i am in a much better headspace. We have to prioritize our mental health. Love everything you stand for and i am in one way or another in the same boat as you. My attempts are still hard but i push myself to help others as a way to in turn help myself and acts as a way of forgiving myself.

  • @GreathSentina
    @GreathSentina Před 2 lety +1

    I've been bullied at home and school, and I took a gun to school. Shot myself in the head, and woke up thinking 'How the Hell am I still Alive? Why won't this life just f*cken end?' I was tired and sick of it all. I was hurting deep within my soul. It was like no one understood me. I was constantly getting yelled out by my parent, until I just snapped. It wasn't until like 5 years later that I really started to appreciate that I survived the bullet to the head. Ever since then I've always tried to help people if I could, and not let them make the mistake I did. While I'm still alive; I've lost my speech, my right arm is useless, and I get easily distracted. I tried to kill myself on January 24, 2007. That date will forever be etched into my memory. I support your work 100% Amanda. But just wished there would've been someone there for me to help me see that suicide is NOT the solution. Keep up the good work.

    • @MentalAmanda
      @MentalAmanda  Před 2 lety +1

      What a powerful story! While I'm very sorry for all you lost and they pain you felt that led you there, I am SO happy that you're still here and can now speak out.

    • @GreathSentina
      @GreathSentina Před 2 lety

      @@MentalAmanda so am I. I had to relearn to eat, still having trouble with drinking liquids. But everything is good with me as far as suicidal thoughts.

  • @larrycorbett4164
    @larrycorbett4164 Před 2 lety +5

    After several years of abuse when I was younger, leading into belittling from terrible drunk Ex. I learned that kindness goes along way. And this world doesn't have enough at this present time...
    Great video, reaction. If you want another perspective. Check out..
    Badflower "Ghost". Either official video or acoustic 🙏

  • @codyniskanen8809
    @codyniskanen8809 Před 9 měsíci

    4 years ago, I was sexually assaulted by someone who i considered a brother. I survived numerous attempts. 2 years ago, I enlisted in the Marines, I thought that by leaving my old life behind, and trying to start new would make the demons go away. They went away for a while, but they came back, and they came back with a vengeance. I thankfully survived my last attempt, i was stationed on Camp Lejuene, and the situation i was in only made everything worse. I'm so thankful that my attempt failed, because I lived, I'm now married to my best friend, and we're expecting a child in May!
    For anyone who's struggling, keep fighting, don't give in.

  • @chrismadden132
    @chrismadden132 Před 2 lety

    I've been writing my memoirs like I told you. I have been watching your mental health videos and you are a ray of sunshine punching through the darkness in my life. Again I thank you so much.

  • @liquidkrylon4763
    @liquidkrylon4763 Před 2 lety +1

    Thank you for reacting to this
    I mentioned it in the last video

  • @davidwilliamsblogs7993
    @davidwilliamsblogs7993 Před 2 lety +3

    I love this song. One my favourite song. Thank you for reaching to this song. I love this song. 🙏🔥💪🤘

  • @robertojackson2397
    @robertojackson2397 Před 2 lety

    I don't like bullies, if I saw someone bullied I would step in and break it up, hardly ever used violence, sometimes used humor. But I have a feeling like I have to save everyone.

  • @2strokinit527
    @2strokinit527 Před rokem +1

    You have done a lot to help a lot people, we all need to help each other.

  • @tazyou11
    @tazyou11 Před 4 měsíci

    Amanda, I appreciate you reacting to this song. It brings back unfortunate memories of bullies I had throughout school. Unfortunately, i wasn't able to speak up to anyone. I realized later that i am Autistic and probably had a lot to do with me not speaking up. I can see where i was different, and they fed off of that and made fun of me. I didn't know how to defend myself and i guess i dealt with all of this by locking myself in my room after school and crying for however long and sometimes played music to drown out my crying and sometimes i didn't maybe hoping one of my parents would hear me and ask if anything was wrong, but that never happened and later in years when i asked my mom about it, she thought i wanted to be left alone. Really, for hours each weekday until dinner time? This was throughout 7th to 10th grade. I have tried therapy and medication for depression. Finally using TMS treatment has helped lower my anxiety and recently did this for depression. Lets see how it goes. TMS is Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation. Using magnetic fields on the brain in certain areas. At least no more drugs and Protracted Withdrawal Syndrome that i suffered with. That is where certain psychotropic drugs affected you, even if they are out of your system and causes bad side effects like heightened anxiety. It messes up your nervous system. I would recommend you listen to another song by a group called Amity Affliction and the song is All Fu**ed Up. Tgat video is extremely graphic and powerful. All about mental health and suicide as the one singer suffers with depression. Another song of theirs is Like Love. Actually, so many of their songs are good. Another song is Don't Lean on Me. You wont regret listening to them. Thanks again for sharing this. ❤

    • @MentalAmanda
      @MentalAmanda  Před 4 měsíci

      Thank you so much for sharing your story! I'm so happy that you have found a treatment that helps and people to listen 💖

  • @rocketwelch
    @rocketwelch Před rokem

    You are such a beautiful soul. Seeing how much you care about people and how much you want to help people has warmed my heart. Because of you i found the strength to keep fighting. I struggle everyday with all the pain ive endured in my life. About 3 years ago I saw my pregnant fiance get her throat cut in front of me, she bled to death in my arms. The regret of not being able to save her or my child everyday haunts me. Thank you for saving me.

    • @MentalAmanda
      @MentalAmanda  Před rokem +1

      What a horrific thing to witness and a heavy burden to bear. Just know that your response to this trauma is normal! Your brain is doing exactly what it is meant to do! I would highly suggest looking into a professional who specializes in trauma or modalities that specifically target trauma like EMDR. We're here for you.

    • @rocketwelch
      @rocketwelch Před rokem

      @MentalAmanda Thank you. I'm doing much better. I got my meds situated and see a therapist at least once a month.

  • @Bahamut-ie3tk
    @Bahamut-ie3tk Před 2 lety

    I have been suffering from major depression since I was 5. When I was 25 I was so tired of the suffering I was going through and I started having suicidal thoughts. Every time I tried to kill myself I'd end thinking about my friends and no matter how much I hated myself and the suffering I was going through I couldn't kill myself knowing what it would do to them. I am 35 now and things are finally looking hopeful and for the first time I am grateful I didn't take my own life.

    • @MentalAmanda
      @MentalAmanda  Před 2 lety

      I am so happy for you! You're a survivor!

  • @seabeeswebuildwefight9723

    I was in Fallujah in 2004, came home May 13th 2005. I was done with war but war certainly wasn't done with me. It was to the point I even considered reenlisting because even though I was home it never felt like home. Then I got the call that one of my brothers from my platoon had killed himself I hit my knees & I had just felt that I let him, myself & everyone around me down. Started blaming myself for everything swooped low, below rock bottom low & woke up hungover with a loaded pistol on my chest having zero memory of the night before. My mom finally convinced me to start opening up about my experiences after three years I had the guts & courage to tell her about what I was dealing with & I couldn't even look her in the eyes. She was so pale, the whole time I kept telling myself "don't fold, don't fold, don't fold" she became my reason, her & my whole family, the reason to stand & fight. Now my daughters are my lightbringers they're the good in my life. I still have some occasions where I wake up in the middle night smelling gunpowder & diesel but good thing my Mira knows something is wrong when she hears me. Sits on the couch with me for hours❤

    • @MentalAmanda
      @MentalAmanda  Před 2 lety

      First of all, thank you for your sacrifice. Second, I am SO happy that you are still here and finding healing.

  • @alexchris971
    @alexchris971 Před 2 lety

    I always come back to your channel because while I try not to withhold my emotions in general. These videos always cause me to let out emotions I didn't even know I was keeping in

  • @matthewmartin630
    @matthewmartin630 Před 2 lety +3

    April 11th 2022 will mark 2 years sense I survived my suicide attempt I was on life support for 10 hours I took 3 bottles of activate charcoal Witch saved my life after we knew I was going to live the doctor told me if they would have done not what they did I would have died I'm so grateful I lived watching Michigan's football beat Ohio State for the first time in 10 years last year them winning the big ten conference championship last year for the first time in 17 years and I found you Amanda and I'm so grateful I clicked on your Christmas truce reaction video your a true blessing I want you to know that the way I cope with mental illness is I make custom hoodies I just finished my mental health awareness honey. If you would like the photos of it, let me know how I can contact you and send them to you. Thank you so much for caring but people like me be given all of us a voice. You are a true honest blessing and I'm so happy there's people like you in this world who truly care. Like I said, you do save lives. You do give people like me a reason to continue so live You are beautiful. I love you ❤️

    • @MentalAmanda
      @MentalAmanda  Před 2 lety

      Absolutely send me a pic, my email is in the video description. I have mental health merch too! I'm So proud of you and VERY happy you're still here!

  • @lilwoowoowoozie9242
    @lilwoowoowoozie9242 Před 2 lety +4

    I also recently requested this in the comments of one of your recent vids. This shows how both physical bullying and cyberbullying (along with probs at home, etc.) can both result in the same tragic ending. This vid actually gets a lot of like the warning signs p accurate, like giving away personal things like the console and the games and stuff in the box he gave the friend. You could even tell his friend felt weird about taking it but he said it was okay. Also, they got the method p accurate too. Statistically, women attempt more, but men actually commit more suicide. That's bc men will usually choose more lethal methods than women (e.g. a bullet, gas poisoning, etc. v. something like OD'ing)

  • @DKSuddeth
    @DKSuddeth Před 2 lety +1

    Amanda dear, I remember when you reacted to wrong side of heaven and this video was discussed. I worried whether you would be able to handle this video........kudos to you for being able to.

  • @UltraViolent21
    @UltraViolent21 Před 2 lety

    I’ve been here. Thanks for all your work! I’m much better! There is always a way to find happiness 🤘

  • @landonbeyette2361
    @landonbeyette2361 Před 2 lety

    This channel needs more views please share she's a life saver

  • @jamesandrewski891
    @jamesandrewski891 Před 2 lety +1

    Hi Amanda. I don’t know how long i would be here if it weren’t for this. I am a veteran did some horrible things in combat just to survive, when I got back lost my son due to my stupidity, so yes I do consider where I’m at to be borrowed time. It’s a constant fight just to get up every day, but I keep going. I do want to drink again just to numb the memories I have about what I have done. Thank you for just speaking about things that no one else has.

    • @MentalAmanda
      @MentalAmanda  Před 2 lety

      When we know better, we do better. We've all done unspeakable things, whether in action or in words. You're still worthy of love. I appreciate your sacrifice and I forgive you for not being perfect. Please forgive yourself.

    • @therayven3147
      @therayven3147 Před 2 lety

      You are a soldier, a worrier... You did what you had to to survive, we all have... That don't don't define who you are... You are a man, you are human... We all fuck up... That's what makes us so great... We may not like our decisions, but we have to put them behind us and move on...
      You may not man's soldier anymore, but you're God's soldier now, and we got work to do... So strap up your boots and keep pushing forward... And remember, as us "knuckleheads would say, "I got your six"... I salute you brother, stay up, stay strong, and may may God bless you...

  • @jacobcraft123
    @jacobcraft123 Před 2 lety

    I've been here more then i want to admit.......being teased , picked on , bullied & loosing a girl who i loved to death due to a stupid choice n it nearly drove be over the edge , i almost made the most selfish decision i could of made , please please please if you have any feelings of hurting yourself or suicide contact the suicide hotline or reach out to someone and let it all out , cry , yell , scream but please do not hurt yourself or end your life

  • @devild60
    @devild60 Před 2 lety

    ty for being here much love to you, you help me a lot ty

  • @UltraViolent21
    @UltraViolent21 Před rokem

    Being bullied saved my life. I stood up and said no and it made me a stronger person.

  • @Nate-cd2rw
    @Nate-cd2rw Před měsícem

    To anyone who needs to see this the world is NOT a better place without you in it despite how you may feel in the moment you are LOVED so please keep pushing forward and don't hesitate to reach out to me or anyone in this comment section we will listen.

    • @MentalAmanda
      @MentalAmanda  Před měsícem

      Thank you so much for being a beacon of light for those struggling!

  • @andrewkearley6900
    @andrewkearley6900 Před 2 lety +2

    Thank you so much for doing this song, like I said on a previous comment, this video is so Intense and poignant.
    Edit: I've been that friend..

  • @user-pr5ob1bm1i
    @user-pr5ob1bm1i Před 7 měsíci

    I love your expression and energy when you put on the music

  • @justsomeawesomeperson6396

    Thank you for the great video. All parts of this video speak to me a lot. But one thing i have never spoken about is that I struggle with body image. I find it difficult to speak about, like it’s not something men can struggle with. But it’s always there, even at the times when i’m having a rough time. I just always see myself as the small, malnourished kid i was in the last. I’m so ashamed of how i looked in the past, that i still see myself exactly the same when i look in the mirror. Even though I packed on a lot of lean mass… just felt like sharing this. It’s one of the things i never talked about. But somehow this community here makes me feel less scared to talk about things.

  • @bio-phobia3895
    @bio-phobia3895 Před 2 lety +1

    This song got me through a lot of my shit and Most 5FDP songs helped so much, Their music is beautiful

  • @isaiahwelch8066
    @isaiahwelch8066 Před 2 lety +2

    First time I heard this song, I bawled my eyes out...because I know the pain of not only being bullied, but also how it feels like you're alone in the dark.
    If you're struggling, I tell you this:
    You're not alone. You never were. You never have been. If you need help, ask for it. As my grandma (RIP) told me when I was growing up, "A closed mouth doesn't get fed." Most importantly, keep fighting. A permanent solution for a temporary problem is not the way.
    "When you can't run, you walk. When you can't walk, you crawl. When you can't crawl...when you can't do that, you find someone to carry you." ~ Firefly ep. 11, "The Message"
    "You got 13 reasons for you to go away? Here's 3 more, for why you gotta stay." ~ Raoul Kerr, Bloodywood, Jee Veerey
    If you're struggling, I know your pain. Every day you wake up, is another battle won. When you find yourself drowning in the darkened, blackened rising, hold on to your humanity and fight -- because you, dear reader, are a human being. You are worth your life -- of which we only get one, to see this world and how beautiful and amazing it is, and how beautiful and amazing it can be. So live your best life, despite the naysayers -- because they aren't living your life, _you_ are. People who are trying to bring you down? They are miserable and unhappy -- and misery loves company. Realize, lastly, you always have a choice -- whether it's what you choose to believe, who your friends are, and even if negative people affect you. You have that power -- so use it, and make your own life worth living.
    You've got this -- but don't give up. Least of all, on yourself. You're stronger than you look.
    And know that there are those of us who understands, who have gone through what you are. You just have to find us.
    Stay safe, and be well.
    If you're struggling...even if we never meet in person...know that I love you.

    • @therayven3147
      @therayven3147 Před 2 lety

      This...
      This is probably the BEST long comment I ever read...
      So true...

    • @isaiahwelch8066
      @isaiahwelch8066 Před 2 lety

      @@therayven3147 : If what I have said here has made a difference in your life, and helped you, then I have accomplished what I set out to do: Convincing others that ending their lives is not the way to feel better, to end the pain.
      Pain is a motivator -- you just have to find a way to turn how badly you hurt, into an energy and strength that no one can overcome. Use your hurt, your pain, to fuel your purpose. To push you. To remind you.
      And when the time comes, to make your victory all the sweeter. To make the exhilaration you feel so strong, that it ripples out into the world, and others can feel it.
      Because I promise you: If you succeed, those who feel your vibrational energy will come. After all, you came. You read what I wrote.
      Now, _use it,_ and be better tomorrow than you are today. Because if you wish to travel a thousand miles from where you are now, it all begins with but a single step. But you still have to move your feet, and move forward. I can only show you the door; you have to be the one to walk through it.
      So make that first step -- and realize that your story is only begun, and that you are the author. You determine the ending. You have the power. So write a book about your life, that nobody can put down. Because all it takes, is will.
      Good luck!

    • @therayven3147
      @therayven3147 Před 2 lety

      @@isaiahwelch8066 man, what you say is so true bro... I want to write... To write songs, poems, spoken word... I just don't know where to start... It's hard... I just don't know, and I'm horrible with words...

    • @isaiahwelch8066
      @isaiahwelch8066 Před 2 lety

      @@therayven3147 : You know what Eminem would read constantly, before he got big?
      Dictionaries and thesauruses. So he would know the meanings of words.
      As for not knowing where to start, just...start.
      Maybe even for inspiration, watch The Dead Poet's Society.

    • @therayven3147
      @therayven3147 Před 2 lety

      @@isaiahwelch8066 yeah, I may have to do that...

  • @jayyounger3928
    @jayyounger3928 Před 2 lety +3

    Just a question for the people in the comments. How did you take the first that first step to getting mental health help? I try to but then a start thinking that my problems aren't as bad as other people's so I just coward away from getting help and end up in this cycle of needing help but not knowing how to commit to the first step in getting it.

    • @MentalAmanda
      @MentalAmanda  Před 2 lety

      I actually have a free 5 day challenge you can take that helps with those first steps: www.happinessboost.life I come into your inbox every day for five days and offer very attainable reflections and action steps!

  • @tylercoley8353
    @tylercoley8353 Před 2 lety +2

    If it wasn't for ffdps music I don't think I'd still be here especially after the loss of my brother

  • @djjd8520
    @djjd8520 Před 2 lety +1

    My scars remind me where I have been they don't have to dictate where I'm going, I'm still here.

  • @gabeerspamer3979
    @gabeerspamer3979 Před rokem

    Music is one of the most powerful forms of expressing major difficulties in life. Even though I haven’t struggled with suicidal thoughts this song really floods you with the emotion of realism.

  • @stevecoronado1103
    @stevecoronado1103 Před rokem

    I've been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and anxiety so as it seems you are very aware, some days,hours,minutes are better than others. I had a thought yesterday about bullying. When I was younger I was bullied because I'm a redhead. Easy "target" (pun intended) and it occurred to me that bullies nowadays are weaker and more cowardly than back then. As a kid if you were a bully you had to physically be there and accept the fact that you could possibly have the tables turned on you! (A more respectable way of being a bully) Today bullies hide behind a screen name, usually not their real name, and a lack of consequences. I'm not condoning bullying just making an observation. I'm 53 years old and thankfully my kids stand up to bullies no matter what they choose as they're means of bullying. Btw, my avatar pic is pretty accurate as to my real life looks and this is my real name! Keep Moving Forward is my favorite saying to help myself or someone else. Thank you for what you do

  • @ryanjackson846
    @ryanjackson846 Před 2 lety

    Thank you for you being you, like I commented before I'm a purple heart disabled veteran that struggled for years, there song Never Enough was the first part of my healing and positive outlook. Keep up your amazing work. Namaste my friend.

  • @neeleym00481977
    @neeleym00481977 Před 2 lety

    Amanda, I'm going through a major depression right now. This song really hits home... I was and am pick on because I'm half blind. I've almost killed myself a few times because it got so bad... all I want is to be normal... to be liked and loved for being me...

    • @MentalAmanda
      @MentalAmanda  Před 2 lety

      Being normal is being average. Average is like being a C student. I'm not normal and realized I never want to be. You are worthy and amazing and I'd be happy to talk to you if you need a friend.

    • @neeleym00481977
      @neeleym00481977 Před 2 lety

      @@MentalAmanda actually that would be nice. I don't have very many friends... My name is Michael, nice to meet you...

    • @MentalAmanda
      @MentalAmanda  Před 2 lety

      @@neeleym00481977 nice to meet you!

  • @NoGoodDirtyRicer
    @NoGoodDirtyRicer Před 2 lety +3

    Another really good song that touches on this same topic that you should consider giving a listen is Make It Stop by Rise Against.
    Both have offered me a great deal aid in dealing with my mental health issues.

  • @sykospoo1156
    @sykospoo1156 Před 9 měsíci

    i wasn't bullied as a kid but i had anger issues never diagnosed with anything after a fiance left me i went into depression after a few gfs left me i put a gun to my head and only heard a click at that point something clicked and i decided to work hard at my job been doing the same work for 15 years now at the same business for 10 at the end of january had a major relapse in depression but had been talking to a old high school friend who really talked me through it

  • @shawnsford7071
    @shawnsford7071 Před rokem

    Thank you very much for what you are doing. My youngest nephew committed suicide 3yrs ago. He was 27. I wish I knew he was suffering and could have helped him but i hadn't seen him in 8yrs. His first girlfriend was an older woman when he was 19 and he moved away with her. And his name was Jaime. I love him and miss him very much.

    • @MentalAmanda
      @MentalAmanda  Před rokem

      Jaime actually means "I love" in French! As someone who has been there, please know that he knew how much you cared beneath his darkness. I hope that Jaime finds peace and that you find strength.

    • @shawnsford7071
      @shawnsford7071 Před rokem

      @Mental Amanda Thank you very much. I didn't mention this but nephew Jaime's sister, my oldest niece, her name is Amanda also. And she's actually a social worker with her own practice. Don't tell me your middle name is Lynn!!...You're doing something very good on here!!

    • @MentalAmanda
      @MentalAmanda  Před rokem

      @@shawnsford7071 No it's not, that would be crazy!

  • @alexmeek6478
    @alexmeek6478 Před rokem

    I struggle with adhd and the mental health problems associated with it. I will be starting school this fall to become a psychiatrist specializing in adhd but will also work with veterans. I'm a firm believer that if we build children up and build their self esteem and self worth early to help keep them mentally strong when bullies try to verbally and emotionally abuse them as well as teaching them to physically defend themselves so that they can fight back if a bully tries to beat them up. It wont stop bullying or mental health issues for that matter but I believe it can go a long way in possibly reducing suicides by giving children and teens a means to deflect the abuse from bullies.

  • @russellrichter3473
    @russellrichter3473 Před 6 měsíci

    I'm Russell and I'm dying of cancer. Thank you for what you do. Its happy for me.as dumb as it sound but thank you.

    • @MentalAmanda
      @MentalAmanda  Před 6 měsíci

      It means the world that I can bring some comfort to your cancer journey. Live every day to the fullest that you can. We're embracing you in light and love. 💖

  • @jessehartman6925
    @jessehartman6925 Před rokem

    I've survived multiple suicide attempts and rn im homeless but have a job but I'm also on parole and everyday I feel like things won't work out n I'm always in my head and feel like there's no one truly there for me. Thanks for the video so glad u enjoy 5FDP ur videos are helpful

    • @MentalAmanda
      @MentalAmanda  Před rokem +1

      Now that you're here, you'll never be alone. We've got your back. While your situation isn't ideal, it sounds like you have things going your way and are moving in the right direction. Build on that!

    • @jessehartman6925
      @jessehartman6925 Před rokem +1

      @@MentalAmanda thank you so much

  • @Runnygraph20
    @Runnygraph20 Před 2 lety

    First thing Bulling should not be tolerated by anyone.Bulling is ALOT of the problems in alot of people's life. I took up for every person in my school and I couldn't stand anyone putting someone down for no reason. FFDP... LETS GO BEST BAND EVER....

  • @ghostofsilence2697
    @ghostofsilence2697 Před rokem

    By all accounts I shouldn't even be here. I attempted 5 times. The only explanation for how I survived was sheer luck. I was either in the right place at the right time for someone or something to intervene, or I was lucky enough to fail.
    That was 3 years ago...
    I'm in a much better place now, with friends and people who show they care. After coming back from that edge and losing some of those closest to me to suicide as well, I'm never taking life for granted again. I know all it takes is to get unlucky once and it's over.
    All I want to do now is make as many good memories as I can with however much time I have left in this world. That's the only thing that matters to me now

  • @pyrosious6349
    @pyrosious6349 Před 2 lety

    Bullying is a weird thing for me. I know many people one of which is me. If I/we didn't get bullied, we'd never be the better version of our self. With me, it was my ego. When I got bullied it helped me bridge a gap otherwise un unobtainable at that time

  • @ApolloTheDerg
    @ApolloTheDerg Před 2 lety

    I lost a friend to suicide just under a year ago, last time I saw him was March 23rd 2021. We didn’t see it coming, and it’s hard not to blame one’s self for just, not reaching out a little more, but I was a friend, and I was there, and at this point, I can live with knowing I was able to make him smile. Make someone smile, be a friend, and check in on your friends a little more often.

    • @MentalAmanda
      @MentalAmanda  Před 2 lety +1

      When someone is in that place, they become really good at hiding it. Beneath the pain, he knew you cared. I hope he rests in peace and I'm glad you're healing.

  • @benjohnson5505
    @benjohnson5505 Před 2 lety

    Back in 2004 i was in the grip of alcoholism,Depresion Self harm and suicidal thoughts and several attempts, In the October of that year I shot myself in the head,I was very drunk and on tranqualizers.When I came too I went to the hospital and 2 hours after discharged myself as I was out of control and angry. the next day I went back to hospital and got the round removed,The day later I discharged myself again to get more drink and I couldn't stop drinking fast forward to today I'm 12 and a half years sober , we can get through it

    • @MentalAmanda
      @MentalAmanda  Před 2 lety +1

      I am so happy that you are still with us and am SO proud of you for 12 years!!!!!

  • @joshuamock980
    @joshuamock980 Před 2 lety +1

    I believe I've already recommended "Make it stop" by Rise Against but this group does a lot for those struggling with things from bullying to abuse. This song is just a great encapsulation of this entire conversation.

  • @deltasniper1023
    @deltasniper1023 Před měsícem

    Its true that 1 friend can save a life. I had a barrel in my mouth many years ago when one of my best friends called me out of the blue. He didn't know till a couple of years later that his phone call kept me from pulling the trigger... Haven't touched that gun since because of what I almost did with it.

    • @MentalAmanda
      @MentalAmanda  Před měsícem

      I'm so glad you got that call and are still here with us. Message me on IG @mentalamanda if you ever need to talk.

  • @Poemiserable
    @Poemiserable Před 2 lety

    Bullying is actually quite a useful tool of society in terms of regulating behaviour. I think one of the reasons society has become much less cohesive and more people are struggling with mental health is because of a reduction in bullying.

    • @MentalAmanda
      @MentalAmanda  Před 2 lety

      Just because something makes a person compliant doesn't make it effective in the long term and it certainly doesn't make it ethical.

  • @blakew703
    @blakew703 Před 2 lety

    I was bullied during highschool. To the point I had lost any sort of self confidence I had about any and everything. 2 suicide attempts and a strong drug addiction later I’ve made it to over 2&1/2 years clean of drugs and almost 3 clean of self harm. Now I’ve kinda turned into a bully of bullies. May not be the best thing to be but it helps me by helping the victims of bullies

    • @MentalAmanda
      @MentalAmanda  Před 2 lety

      I was bullied as well, even by my closest friend. I am SO happy that you survived and are here. While I support the Dexter of the bully world mentality, know that those people are hurting too and that's why they bully in the first place. Bullying them only perpetuates the cycle of pain. I did an interview with Sean Kanan (from Karate Kid and Cobra Kai) about bullying. You might be interested:
      czcams.com/video/BS1WIlbH5Uo/video.html

  • @pi1872
    @pi1872 Před 10 měsíci

    Very good reaction. I also reacted to this video and it said this video suggests my video the most so i decided to check it out i cant even think about the video coming down without my eyes watering.I was bullied at every school i went to i even changed schools to try and stop but i guess it was me becouse it never did then id go home and my brother and step dad would take over I almost ended my life at 17 but moved out on my 18th birthday and life has gotten better since then thank you for your reaction to this.

    • @MentalAmanda
      @MentalAmanda  Před 10 měsíci +1

      So happy you are still here!

    • @pi1872
      @pi1872 Před 10 měsíci

      @@MentalAmanda thank you

  • @carrybeckwith5397
    @carrybeckwith5397 Před rokem

    Yup just be you, I wish people would be nice to one another and we all could just live in peace. I've lived ed threw the bullying to, it's so sad that people act like this.

  • @josephbishop3590
    @josephbishop3590 Před 2 lety

    I haven't cried so hard in years, the relief of that 'ONE' human touch...

  • @dallasrobertson677
    @dallasrobertson677 Před 3 měsíci

    The hardest thing for Me after surviving two attempts is the fact I was told to quit being dramatic I've tried talking to family. They sweep it under the rug like it's nothing. So I've built up till I've become numb and Ik one day I'll lose the fight.

    • @MentalAmanda
      @MentalAmanda  Před 3 měsíci +1

      Remember that family isn't just blood. Sometimes, we have to create our own family. I know you're not being dramatic. I see your pain. And I accept you into our family here with open arms! If you ever need to talk, my IG and email are in the video descriptions 💖

  • @christophervalentino6692
    @christophervalentino6692 Před 2 lety +1

    I love your reaction to such a powerful song.

  • @markmorrison3092
    @markmorrison3092 Před 2 lety +1

    Thanks for being out there for people. Me included. 😢

  • @AliS-pu8rz
    @AliS-pu8rz Před rokem

    Thank you for speaking out about mental health

  • @NamiMakimono
    @NamiMakimono Před 2 lety

    I get thrown back to middle school and high school. Everything was so tough to live through every day being picked on. It threw me into a really dark place. The only thing that’s stopped me from getting past the thinking stage was; I don’t want to put my family through that kind of pain. It’s still hard 20 or so years later. I’m 34 but I still have so much trouble getting my head out of that mindset. 🎶 I’m never not going to cry to this song. 🎶 Thank you for what you’re doing and this channel. 🦋💕

    • @MentalAmanda
      @MentalAmanda  Před 2 lety +1

      It is HARD to rewire our brains and those tapes that get stuck in there, but it is doable. I believe in you and I'm happy you've kept fighting.

  • @Dannzt
    @Dannzt Před 2 lety

    Glad you're still here ☺️

  • @katekotsis7965
    @katekotsis7965 Před rokem

    I was at their concert this summer and they played this song... I cried soo much this song always hits home.

  • @jamessmith7959
    @jamessmith7959 Před 2 lety

    I hurt bullies because I was a nerd that benched 325lbs so I felt I had to be a protector

  • @xXxGR33NDR3AMSxXx
    @xXxGR33NDR3AMSxXx Před 2 lety +1

    This song and video still makes me tear up. It really captured my mental health struggles and showed several scenes that I personally went through. Another great song I recommend is Jenny by Nothing More. You’ll most likely love it

  • @ca9968
    @ca9968 Před rokem

    This video always hits me like a tonne of bricks dropped from a mile above me...
    I was in a relationship with a Cluster B Personality Disordered woman for 5 years, I was always a strong willed and mentally healthy man, after 5 years with her I was financially, mentally and emotionally broken...
    I sat alone one night, after yet another argument caused by nothing but her creating drama where there was none, with my every day carry handgun on the coffee table in front of me...I selected one round from the magazine, a 9mm hollow point, loaded it into the chamber, took off the safety, put the muzzle in my mouth and slowly started to squeeze the trigger...I was DONE. had enough, I had nothing left to give and nothing mre that could be taken...I don`t know what it was that stopped me at that exact point...I was RIGHT there...
    I took it out my mouth, unloaded it, put it down and wiped away my tears...somehow I fell asleep on the couch and managed to wake up before she did...I packed my bags, headed for a friends house, he took me in and a week later I booked a ticket and flew out to the UK ( I was in South Africa)...
    That was 7 years ago now, much time and much therapy later i`m still on the mend but getting there a little more each day...
    Whoever you are, whatever your circumstances,, the trauma you`ve suffered through, know this :
    There is a life, a good life. out there for you and if you choose to fight then you WILL find it...there is also someone that will help you and will miss you so much it will sting them like a burn for the rest of their lives if you check out and don`t reach out...
    You ARE good enough and you DO matter!
    Love, peace and happy trails to you all.
    Big Love!!!

    • @MentalAmanda
      @MentalAmanda  Před rokem +1

      I was on the brink of suicide too, fanned by an unhealthy marriage. My son unknowingly snapped me back to reality and I told my husband that I wanted a divorce the very next day. You are absolutely right. There's a beautiful life out there for everyone 💖

  • @Godless-Being
    @Godless-Being Před 23 dny

    While I never had an attempted suicide(but have had thoughts of it every now and then) I can understand the pain

  • @kerrychaconmesen1987
    @kerrychaconmesen1987 Před 3 měsíci

    This song/video saved my life

  • @DJSoulzy
    @DJSoulzy Před rokem

    Been many years ive struggled feeling alone until i met some friends in the furry fandom. I still get bullied even with all the trauma i deal with from my past. I still seem to feel safe with the type of hatred when i find the community i feel like i have a family in. Sexual abuse in school and nobody cared to ever help or investigate. I felt worthless and still do to this day flashback to it. I hide my emotions as most see me as a beacon of hope and happiness trying to make peoples lives better. I fear them seeing me breaking. Only option i can ever see in my mind is to bottle it up and let it go by taking it out on myself. I cant even tell my own family as they even judge me. I want to be with my 2 poly partners yet i get trapped here by my own family and they try to pull me back like they can dictate my life and act like its nothing to them but just getting there way. I have what i want to fight for yet cant seem to find that way to get it. I hid my attempt recently scared and lost. I try therapy but its hard when i have this inbuilt mechanism of resorting to fear of finding a way to fight without others seeing me hurting

  • @ctrimbath828
    @ctrimbath828 Před 2 lety +3

    This reaction saved me today. I have so much I could say as to why, but the knowledge that someone I never met cares made me rethink my own thoughts.

    • @MentalAmanda
      @MentalAmanda  Před 2 lety +2

      I very much care and am here any time you need to reach out.

    • @ctrimbath828
      @ctrimbath828 Před 2 lety

      I am a veteran that isn't seeking attention, some days are hard and some are fine. Keep being you and I know I have a channel that will make me motivated to keep trying to move forward.

    • @MentalAmanda
      @MentalAmanda  Před 2 lety +1

      @@ctrimbath828 And a person behind that channel that appreciates your sacrifice and believes in you!

  • @williamulmer1010
    @williamulmer1010 Před 2 lety

    As someone who was bullied, I defend against them now. I crack people up. I don't even know where it comes from. I also light people up. When I get the same in return, that's a beautiful thing. That's what I go for. No matter what, I will be remembered.

  • @walterradtke2421
    @walterradtke2421 Před 2 lety

    Hi Amanda 👋 This will be my first time hearing this song too. Exciting!❤

  • @denisprufer5193
    @denisprufer5193 Před 2 lety

    I love your reactions. It helps me too with my mental health. Best wishes from Germany! 🥰

  • @M.Karlsson
    @M.Karlsson Před 2 lety

    I have that friend that just showed up in time. So this song hits home and I have always loved it

  • @MrEtherian
    @MrEtherian Před 2 lety

    Being a former cocaine addict, very suicidal person - thanks for spreading this song and video, it helped me - it might help someone else!

    • @MentalAmanda
      @MentalAmanda  Před 2 lety

      Proud of you for your recovery! That was my drug of choice as well.

  • @isaiahwelch8066
    @isaiahwelch8066 Před 2 lety +2

    @Amanda Webster: I've got a reaction request for you:
    "Endurant" by Bloodywood.
    I've looked through your video list, and I didn't see it -- which is why I'm requesting it. It is Bloodywood's expression of how to deal with and overcome bullying -- and given this video, I figure that I would make my request here.
    Thanks for all you do, in reaching out, having your channel, and helping people deal with depression and suicidal thoughts. You truly do, and are, making a difference.
    Be well, and be blessed, Amanda, and I'll catch you on your next reaction.

  • @justingrandpre7919
    @justingrandpre7919 Před 2 lety

    I have had my attempts at suicide, first time at the age of 12, now going on 48 I can say that I still battle the demon that has seemingly set a deep hook into my mental psyche. Even in the best of times in my life, I have that demon telling me that everyone would be better off without me. Having PTSD from serving in the military in the Gulf War, I feel as though that demon invited friends to join in the torture, so each and every day is like fighting an army to survive. Even being happily married with two kids, the struggle is still an unending fight. I want to say that anyone who needs to talk can reach out, I am always willing to listen and do what I can.

    • @MentalAmanda
      @MentalAmanda  Před 2 lety

      Thank you for your sacrifice. There are a lot of other soldiers on here that will have your back. Do you need resources or information for PTSD support and help? We're here for you as well.

    • @justingrandpre7919
      @justingrandpre7919 Před 2 lety

      @@MentalAmanda I am always open to learning new information concerning mental health and PTSD, the VA psychiatrist that I have been assigned to, is a guy who has never had issues like most of us, so he is hard to talk to because he doesn’t seem to understand

    • @MentalAmanda
      @MentalAmanda  Před 2 lety

      @@justingrandpre7919 That is the problem I had with professionals. They are book smart, not street smart. If you want more info on my framework for improving mental health, you can take my free 5 day challenge:
      www.happinessboost.life

  • @jasonhutcherson6224
    @jasonhutcherson6224 Před 2 lety

    You're a great person Amanda! I stumbled on your channel.... And I'm glad I did! To all Amanda's Subscribers have a blessed beautiful life. Live your lives your way be good to yourselves and each other. Anyone negative Screw them! Don't let their issues affect you. And I've been there for a multitude of reasons but I know I'd destroy the people I love so I push through. Know you matter even if you don't think so. Everyone have a awesome blessed life.

  • @DesRaven
    @DesRaven Před 2 lety

    There comes a time when the idea of dying no longer has a fear of death but only the prospect of a end to pain.
    Those who fight this demon know that it is a every day fight.
    For men who struggle with this, they soon learn that society as a whole does not care about them.
    For me it became the idea i won't let the bastards win. Every day is a victory because they didn't get me today.
    I also believe to my core that suicide is a mortal sin.
    Some times being broken isn't as bad as being "Ok"

    • @MentalAmanda
      @MentalAmanda  Před 2 lety

      You never have to pretend to be ok here 💖

  • @tw1398
    @tw1398 Před 2 lety +6

    I have been listening to this song for years, but never saw the music video until now. Wow, what a poignant and true narrative. I am amazed at how they were able to say so much with brief images and scenes. One example that stands out is how they depicted the "romanticization" stage of suicidal ideation, simply by showing him polishing the pistol and holding it lovingly against his cheek. But what really got me (and surprised me) was the turn-around ending. The beginning of the video was what could have been, and almost was the ending. But because of a small gesture from a friend or parent, disaster was averted. And they probably never even knew what they had intercepted and prevented (though I suspect the friend who returned the gaming console had put two and two together). That moved me to tears.

  • @lilwoowoowoozie9242
    @lilwoowoowoozie9242 Před 2 lety +1

    you should check out 'Jeremy' by Pearl Jam. It's about Jeremy Wade Delle, a 15yo soph in high school who unfortunately shot himself in his English class in '91

  • @andercrash3602
    @andercrash3602 Před 2 lety

    I saved someone from suicide from another state by making a phone call. Under the right circumstances, a phone call is all you need to intervene.

  • @danseigars1983
    @danseigars1983 Před 2 lety

    Bullying sucks when growing up but in most cases of development if controlled it can be useful. The bullied are presented with an overwhelming obstacle to overcome. In many cases the victim eventually fights back and the bully becomes humbled and the victim learns that nothing is impossible. I faced the most ruthless forms of bullying from all my peers all while being abused at home. I learned how to fight in a dojo and not only defended myself but also those who were too weak to fight back. I never recovered but when i defended others it seemed to give me a piece of my soul that i never had. Over time I learned that being loved and respected by my community was a pipe dream because when people no longer needed a protector they just discarded me. After politics blew up and further divided society i lost my remaining friends after the rest were dead and gone. I just excepted solitude and silence and stopped trying to be a part of society and it brought me more peace than trying to fit in where I don’t belong

    • @MentalAmanda
      @MentalAmanda  Před 2 lety +1

      Very interesting perspective!

    • @danseigars1983
      @danseigars1983 Před 2 lety

      @@MentalAmanda dealing with it in my youth and young adulthood with almost no support was difficult and didn’t end up with a happy ending for me. I have hyper vigilance and self awareness so i know i have carried a lot of bad side effects with me. For the most part i found when i allow myself to be comfortable i get too comfortable and bad things ends up happening. It’s a harsh never ending cycle. Plus many people like myself would consider seeking help if mental health wasn’t weaponized in politics and society. Most of us are more afraid of what we have left being taken from us just by something as simple as a diagnosis

    • @MentalAmanda
      @MentalAmanda  Před 2 lety

      @@danseigars1983 Have you considered a life coach as opposed to a traditional therapist? They aren't intertwined with the government and Big Pharma. They don't diagnose or prescribe.

    • @danseigars1983
      @danseigars1983 Před 2 lety

      @@MentalAmanda it would be impossible to find any that don’t have a political agenda. For the most part i self sustain without issue, i just keep my deepest thoughts and memories to myself. If society wasn’t pushed to become so disposable trust would be more likely for most of us. I think for the most part society is so deeply demoralized that the most abused of all of us don’t see any option for help if we need it, we just endure. My pain has kept my wits on high alert and it has kept me alive for almost 40 years. I don’t believe that getting rid of the pain will help, I believe that if i become comfortable that will put me at more risk. People have become outwardly psychotic with graphic death threats to the point of including doxxing online. Most days it seems like I’m watching how the nazis and the soviets also demoralized and controlled a population to desensitize their morals enough to allow their government to do the most evil things imaginable.
      I don’t believe the world is ending, I believe the world how we have known it to be is ending and becoming something darker than we are all willing to see. We already have seen families disown each other over politics to the extent they disinvited them to holiday meals. Now that almost everyone comes from a broken home and raised by the government I don’t see anything but bad things to come in the future. Either war or a government lead genocide disguised as something as simple as a ‘pandemic’.
      This is why i fly under the radar and just watch everyone around me.
      If it were as simple as talking to a person who is deemed a professional it would be nice but the easiest path usually costs more than the help is worth

    • @MentalAmanda
      @MentalAmanda  Před 2 lety

      @@danseigars1983 I know few life coaches with political agendas, myself included. Most of us genuinely want to fill in the gap left by the mainstream.

  • @davidbourhenne8540
    @davidbourhenne8540 Před 2 lety

    This time of the year is so difficult for me. February 26th, my mom would have been 85 years old this year. She died 4 years ago, my best friend. What hurts the most is she died 5 days after her birthday, so March 3rd is the day I lost her. I was so depressed my body reacted badly. I ended up with an intestinal blockage that ruptured. Emergency surgery saved my life, but then weeks later I developed a massive internal infection. Another surgery saved me but I had to spend 5 weeks in a hospital bed before I was allowed to get up to allow the wound to heal. I had to learn to walk again since my legs atrophied. I was in the hospital nearly a full year recovering. I didn't get to mourn the loss of my mom before I had to fight to survive. Now every year I have to remember her dying in my arms at home since she was on hospice. Then the pain I endured the year I was sick. My body is healthy but my spirit is not. I have scars on my belly that are horrible and I'm embarrassed to have anyone see them. I have no friends or family I can talk to about my pain. So every year I get depressed and lonely. But I fight, I fight every damn day to stay here. I only hope that time will lessen the pain, but so far it has not.

    • @MentalAmanda
      @MentalAmanda  Před 2 lety

      Anniversaries can be SO difficult. I hope that you felt her love that day. I spend the anniversaries of my parents deaths now writing in my memory journal about them and doing humanitarian work in their memories. You're a fighter. Keep fighting!