How To Communicate your Needs
Vložit
- čas přidán 26. 06. 2024
- I'm Kati Morton, a licensed therapist making Mental Health videos!
#katimorton #therapist #therapy
MY BOOKS (in stores now)
Traumatized geni.us/Bfak0j
Are u ok? bit.ly/2s0mULy
ONLINE THERAPY
While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist, please visit: betterhelp.com/kati
Join this channel to get access to perks:
/ @katimorton
PATREON www.katimorton.com/kati-morto...
YOU CAN SUPPORT THE CHANNEL BY SHOPPING WITH OUR AFFILIATE LINKS
Instacart: www.instacart.oloiyb.net/y2j2GB
Amazon: www.amazon.com/shop/katimorton
PARTNERSHIP
Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com
PLEASE READ
If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go immediately to the nearest emergency room.
I had a car accident last year that sent me into a panic attack and it was a bit of a mess because I tend to get non-verbal during attacks and EMTs and police generally don't know how to handle people with PTSD or other mental illness, so I made a key tag for my car keys that says: "I have Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and experience panic attacks under stress. During an attack, speak calmly and don't touch or crowd me. I am sensitive to loud noises and easily overstimulated. If I'm not responsive or am overly agitated, contact my therapist (info on reverse)" and then I have my therapist's name and number on the other side. This way, if I'm in an attack and non-verbal, I can just hand them the card and they know who to call and how to behave around me to keep from making things worse. I also wear a medical ID that says (among other things) that I have PTSD and that I carry a medical id card in my wallet, in case I can't remember medications or other important info under stress. It really helps me breathe a lot easier.
that's a great idea!
Damn.....if only i saw this before getting swamp by untrained/unprofessional police.
Where did you get it from? The tag
If there's anything I've learned from my personal experience with sharing my struggles with people that care about me it's that you need to be prepared for their reaction. Understand that they care about you so they might get emotional, upset, scared, etc.
It's important to try to remember that they are not attacking you. If they get upset it's not at you it's at the situation & is probably because they are scared. If they don't want to believe it or they try to tell you that it's no that bad it's probably because they wish it wasn't happening to you & it's easier to ignore it. Remember everyone reacts to things differently and everyone has their own struggles that might affect how they respond to things.
Hope this helps.
Daphne Melody huh, that helped a whole lot actually. Thanks for sharing tht!
Very true
You are so young but honestly one of the best therapist I know! There are so many therapists out there who passed their exams with As but have aboslutely no idea of disorders and how to communicate and treat their patients. They are just not talented. You are, definitely!
I appreciate Katie's vibe in these videos. When I watch her talk about anything I feel healthier from watching her just cause she's positive , relaxed, respecting, and a bit goofy. She's one of those people that make you feel good just by their vibe. Anyone know what I mean? I think we take in other peoples vibes a lot more than we are often conscious of.
Really great advice. A problem I had implementing this recently was with the doctor. I went to my GP with my bullet points, and he said, "No, I just want to hear things from you in your voice." I was in a severe depressive episode at the time and could barely speak, it was a real struggle, and maybe he was right in some ways to make me speak out loud, but after somehow clawing through all the barriers I'd come up against to even get to the doctor that day - i.e. waking up, getting dressed, leaving house, using transport, waiting an hour to see him - it felt like he'd just put up yet another barrier for me to try and overcome, and by that point I was exhausted. I might tell him all this at our next meeting.
Anyway, thanks for this Kati :)
I got help by a teacher to tell my best friend about my selfharm. By then I had hidden my selfharm for almost four years, nobody knew that I was still doing it and my new friends from school didn't know at all. The teacher had seen that I was not doing well and confronted me about it but I denied everything, but she said that I could always come to her.
So a couple of weeks after that I sent a message to her on our schoolplatform and we decided to meet and talk the next day. But I could'nt tell her so she had to guess for 20 min before she got it right, then she went and got my best friend and she told her, and that was it.
But after that I have managed to tell several other people by myself, and I can also show my arms to a handful of my friends. So telling my teacher was just a start to living a little bit easier, I don't have to hide anymore amongst my friends and I don't have come up with these ridiculous lies why I can't go swimming and so on. I was lucky to have such a great teacher, and if you have someone to help you communicate whatever you have to say I think that's a good first step, can't rely on that person forever but it's a great way to start!
I had a great science teacher who helped me deal with panic attacks, I had them quite a lot during exams season with made me quite depressed but I never told her I self harm and I wish I did. I still am in contact with her but I don’t have the courage to tell her, I know she won’t judge but I’m scared
I plan on giving my parents a letter explaining what's going on with me. I find it hard to explain things clearly to my parents since its so personal plus they aren't the most understanding. I've been planning and writing it for 3 years now. I plan on going to my boyfriends house, and the day I'll be going home I'll tell them to find my letter and read it. So that when I'll arrive home we'd talk to about it. I think a similar plan like mine could be useful for some of you who also have a hard time explaining in words :3
Thank you sooo much for this. The key for me is to plan the time to talk ahead of time. Text that person and say that you want to talk to them and pick a time and date. Then they already know what the conversation will be about and you don't have to just interrupt them or bring it up at a bad time. They'll already be in the mode to listen to you.
Asking people to switch off the TV when their favourite show is on in an already disfunctional family sounds to me like a recipe for disaster.
healingthoughts I hear ya hun.
Sometimes, you just have to shoot your shot and yeet outta there.
(Assuming you've properly considered your options lol)
i tried to open up this way with my sister n law (of 15 years) who i adore her children and it worked one time. I was vulnerable and said that my heart was moving to ask to talk, even if it was on the phone once a week to try to get to know her and then her and my brother (who use to be my best friend since childhood) moved and they had all of their friends involved with helping and she never responded to continue to talk. I feel like she punished me and I can never do right. Then the vicious cycle of anxiety and depression hits and I'm emotionally exhausted that i don't even try to reach out. But i do want to say thanks Kati for being YOU :) i have been a huge fan and i appreciate all your videos of help and wisdom. I'm sending you positivity !!!!!
Even tho this is from almost 5 yrs ago, super applicable, and I can't believe I haven't watched this before, I took so many notes! I definitely need to get to journaling... I had thought about doing bullet points like this for meeting a new therapist, and I kept thinking of it before falling asleep but never remember to actually start doing it. Thanks for another great video, I'm going to hunt around in the archives here for oldies & goodies! You're the best Kati!
oh my gosh, i miss these bloopers at the end, you're too cute Kati!
This video was extremely helpful, it's amazing what you do. You have such a big heart! Xoxo
This is one of your most useful videos! THANK YOU! So useful if I am ever in the situation where I have to tell anyone, anything,I will use this!
This was so helpful, Thank you Kati!
Kati, THANK YOU very much for making these video's. Helping so many teenagers / adults. Thank you for your time and effort.
I simply stop talking to family about my mental disorder that they had a big role in causing. I realized over time that they were my triggers and that they do not care about the mental disorder nor were they ever interested in understanding me. All they cared about was me basically acting "Normal". If you're experiencing this is may be time to distance yourself from them. Sure you can keep contact but I would say either keep it limited or at least set extremely strick boundaries. I will not not stay on the phone with my parents if they start trying to talk down to me or anything. I simply stop the conversation then excuse my self before hanging up. They try to guilt me into to feeling bad which normally works but I never give in. This is our life, not our parents. We do not have to put up with shit that we do not like.
Great video, Kati!- I wish i had a video like this on youtube around when i told my parents about my struggles, i'm so glad you made one for others needing this help! ... i did end up telling my parents but i did it through a letter, i found it much easier & then we sat down and talked about it afterwards! You're Awesome :) xx
Thank you much Katie.
i have been trying to make my family understand that i have been struggling with mental illness for a long long time and that im not making things up so they stop telling me im dramatic, and an actress and that i like playing the victim every time we argue and i want to make my point straight and they dont listen a damn thing, they say "you dont get anything, its hard to talk to you, i dont understand what you are saying"
thanks@ kati, this video helped me realize and internalize and understand what I needed to do!
Katie you have describe the behavior that goes on in the household I live in. Thanks for this video.
Excellent info. Thank you !
Love your insight and input
I think this video is greatly helpful in many ways- fortunately all the people in my life are helpful and good listeners so I'm very blessed. Please ALWAYS reach out to someone if you need help!
Very helpful! Thanks so much.
I haven't talked with my mom about what I've been going through yet. I've asked her about her mental health and I also asked her that if my siblings or I needed a therapist she'd be supportive and she said yes. Honestly I'm surprised she hasn't caught up to what I've been trying to tell her. I really started to think about telling her when I heard one of my childhood friends got diagnosed with depression and was getting the help she needed. I have tried to tell her I want to talk to a therapist but she said it was because I didn't talk to anyone and I just needed to make more friends and be social. After that I was discouraged but recently I've been so close to telling her. But whenever I work up the courage to tell her I second guess. I tell myself I'm probably faking it or that it's probably all the stress from school and it's not that serious. I also think about how my mom has so much to deal with that making her worry even more would just make everything worse. After that I don't tell her and just keep dealing with my problems. I'm the type of person who doesn't like talking to anyone about anything serious. I'm not sure how I'm going to tell her what I'm feeling. My family is getting ready for vacation and I know now is not the right time bug I need to do it soon. I just don't know if I can.
Jacky Star I have been in a pretty similar situation. My mom isn’t very open about much, and it has taken several efforts over three years to be able to just tell her what I’m going through, and that I need help. Eventually I decided to look up therapists in my area, and often there will be at least a couple that have sliding scale cost, which was helpful for me because I did not have much to spend. Sometimes therapists will work with you on pricing because they still want you to get help. I keep my mom updated about my mental health (and I wrote it down every time! Either on paper or in my Notes app) and even when she had “unhelpful” advice (see your friends more, exercise, drink water-all good things but not helpful if you’ve gotten to a bad point), I still kept telling her. Eventually she asked me if I found a therapist that takes my insurance, and it was the first time she really acknowledged that maybe I did need to see someone and it wasn’t a “phase.” That little bit of give made me feel just a tiny bit relieved. My family is not very supportive but sometimes families aren’t helpful because either they genuinely don’t understand, or they’re terrified and they don’t know how to deal with their reaction to you going through something difficult. I don’t know your family, but if your mom said she’d be supportive of a therapist, you have a foot in the door! I know you posted this two months ago, but I hope you were able to find the support you needed, or that you’re on your way to doing so!
This was really helpful, I've tried talking to one of my friends for a long time and when I finally did she did the 'that's probably normal I think you're fine don't worry'. I think now I can talk to her again and tell her everything I need her to know.
I found this video very helpful. I have been keeping a journal for the last 2 months of moments when I feel my OCD and anxiety gets really bad and also for when i feel like doing a few of my compulsions like apologizing for something that i didn't do i find that it helps, but I never thought about doing this method alongside it. My family and friends know about my OCD and they are supportive of it but they know that I have an issue and sometimes get frustrated with me because of it.
Thank you very much for your suggestion!!
I wrote a letter to my mom to convince her to allow me to see a therapist and I took about a full week to write it so I'd properly get my point across. I will be starting therapy in the near future.
Greetings from
Southern California.
I found your channel earlier today, YOU are amazing... I am binge watching your videos.
Wow I’ve been having moments (that turn into hours then days and sometimes weeks) that I didn’t know what to call where I just started crying nonstop with trouble sleeping just very overwhelmed I guess with life and where things are going wrong or all the stress I haven’t let out and on top of that I would burst out in tears just making a doctors appointment. I guess I call that a crisis and preparing for that is awesome. When you said that I thought of making a note to myself and to someone I would vent to. I also heard from someone else that it’d be cool to make a self care box for yourself through those crisis
Love the outtakes!
thank you Kati you are smart i thank you for are research an videos i was a lead adman in a bipolar support group until the other admins made it impossible for us to help the people in need. i personally recommended your site too many people who needed it, again thank you
Sometimes we don’t know what we need in a crisis. Or we need treatment but it’s unavailable because we don’t have insurance and don’t want to go into massive debt. Which the thought of that often adds to our crisis. For example I’ve been struggling with anxiety that has me housebound, suicidal thoughts, and self harm and I want treatment but have no insurance and the thought of having such massive debt especially when I am already a burden on family and unable to provide for myself just adds to the reasons that it would be better for everyone if I would just hurry up and die.
A lot of times I'm too scared to communicate, and in those situations usually something that works is I tell the person I'm talking to basically, the kind of thing I'm dealing with, and then I have them guess what it is. It helped me come out and it also helps me talk about anything I might be scared to talk about and hopefully it help you💕
Your always helpful ❤.
This info is so helpful for when I come out
Hi, Kati! Thank you for making this video. I have difficulties how to tell people how I feel without offending them or sounding mellow dramatic or being judged.
“First you do number 1, then you do number 2, then..... nobody thinks like that.”
I think like that :/
Kati’s channel is amazing! I have a much better understanding of my mental health and what to expect while trying to get through this tough time.
It really Helped me to prepare for my GP appointment by writing everything down first, It also made things go a lot smoother and I was a lot less stressed/anxious. I did not get that confused with words and managed to say everything I wanted to say Honestly. Which has not happened in the past. I tend to leave the room without having explained everything properly. I gave her the A4 note and it seemed to help her understand and I did not have to talk as much, she just asked me questions.
I love this video. I actually tried vlogging for the first time the other day instead of sh yayyyyy!
Thanks, Its okay, the big thing is she knows about it. when I told her, I showed her the "talking to your parents" one & she will even watch your with me when I go over to my parents house. (: My therapist wants to bring both my parents into a session to help both of them get it more. I think its as much as a process for my mom to understand as it is for me to try to recover lol and thank you. Happy to share
My. Barrier is that I am afraid the other person will over react. I am too afraid to tell someone about suicial thoughts, incase they suggest I go into hospital or back to intensive treatment. But I don't feel that I need that, just support and understanding that I now have tools to help myself so I don't act on the thoughts.
I need this sooo much thankyou kati sometime my anxiety is so heavy I can’t speak
INTERESTING !!
I love you Kati🥰😭❤️
I NEED THIS VIDEO
Oh my gosh, the end of the video!!!!! Please do more bloopers Kati, I giggled a lot! :p the whole thing was great, don't get me wrong! Haha, but the end was hilarious! xo
I wish I would have known all this years ago. But anyway my parents weren’t very understanding of mental illness and they were quick to write me off as lazy.
4:41 forward speaks of my therapy experiences.
Kati, by crisis what exactly do you mean? Like what do you classify as a crisis? Just wondering.....
You're bloopers and the after the video videos make me laugh so hard. SUMMON THE MINIONS!!!!!! :) haha I love the minions! That was great.
What do you do when you don't know what you need from them?
\
Great question.
Tell them what you don't need from them.
Tell them what you need. Convey that as best you can.
Tell them what’s wrong and ask them what they think they can do to help
Know this is old but maybe there are other people who might me interested in this - you probably need them to be understanding, not crowding you and you might need their trust that you’ll work on that. My mum used to control me everyday wich made me so embarrassed and anxious so I would need her to give me enough space and trust so I can deal with that on my own and with the help of my therapist because otherwise I’m overwhelmed
Thank you :-)
Well, I wish my parents would hugg me! So you're a lucky girl!! Whenever I don't feel well and my parents (want to) realize that and feel bad about it, it's me who has to motivate them, they never do this with me although it's me who need motivation and huggs at those moments. So glad for you that you got a hugg!!! :-)
I was about to say that!
I had somewhat of a bad experience. I was forced to tell my parents, but I couldn't, so I wrote them a letter. It was simple, the 4 things Kati mentioned were in it. I put it in their room & tried so hard to fall asleep but couldn't. My mom came into my room, not having finished the note, & kept asking why. I told her to finish the note, but she just sat on my bed & hugged me. The worst part though was hearing her reaction as she read the note. Her reaction was not what I played out in my head.
You are a miracle Kati ! I don't know how I found You but I think God had something to do with it.
I almost fell over laughing at the part with the minions :D
Hi Kati, loved this video as I've just posted a video about this exact subject. I actually would love some help on understanding if changing our communication style to suit those I'm interacting with is considered appropriate behaviour or would it really be considered being untrue to myself?
You and Likekristen would be amazing!
Do you have a video about people who shut people out (ignoring messages) Not communicating. I have a near and dear friend who has shut me out for over a year and I’m heartbroken. And it’s not the first time. 💔😢 I’m invisible. 😢
Katie, i've been seeing a guy for about 9 months now and we have a really healthy relationship... is it about time i open up to him about my mental health issues??? love your videos x.
ED got worse and my depression too. I started cutting, confided in a friend who used to struggle with that. She threatened to tell my mom if I didn't, so I left the house, I was scared. I called my friend who was a dietitian and she said I should talk with my parents, I said I was too scared to so she offered to talk to them for me and explain what's been going on. That's how I got help
With that said. I always have been scared to death to tell my mom hard/bad things about myself, my dad is a bit easier thou. But the first time (also the last) I more or less where forced to tell her about my SH I pushed that task in front of me like forever. Until a teacher gave me a tips that solved some of my fears. I was afraid of a Huge reaction, get lots of questions, her starring at me and be the center of attention...
I used to teach college composition, and you sound like at the start of a semester. What's your relationship to the audience? Are you comfortable? Will they try to change the topic? What's your relation to the topic? Are you in crisis? What's the audience's relation to the topic? Do they know about your ED? Do they have stereotypes you need to clear up before you can get to what you need them to know?
Yeah don't sit down your parent(s) & not prepare what to say ahead of time. When I sat my mom down I ended up confusing her & getting asked a million questions because I just said "I have an eating disorder and I've done this that and the other thing, I want to go to therapy" When she asked how she could help I said she couldn't and I didn't want to talk about it anymore.
She still thinks its all about loosing weight and that I'll just be "healed" by eating right. It was a total fail.
@05 minutes: This is why I bring my diary to my therapy appointments.
This is so helpful but I wish you'd done a teacher scenario
I suddenly felt that I'm the one always going to see my friends but they never come and see me or make an effort and it made me feel like they're only going to be my friends if I please them and make it worth their while and do something for them. And I felt like I don't want to see them anymore and my friend asked if I want to meet up next week and I said I don't know what I want because all of the above. I think I could have said it better and probably earlier but it's so hard when you feel dejected and anxious and alone and insecure and so on. It ended up OK but she said it's better to say something sooner and not reach this boiling point but I just don't know how to do that. I can't even think clearly and think what I want to ask of her which is why I didn't say anything until I just couldn't anymore.
KATI I WOULD LOVE TO CALAB PLZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. i know my channels not big and i havent been at it for long, but i have alot of knowledge and have helped alot of people and im even getting the oppertunity to teach my own group at my counseling center
The tip was to tell her when we were alone on our way in the car, her driving somewhere. That made it more or less impossible for her to focus on me, no starring, and to actually grab me she needed to pull of the road. It felt a lot easier sitting there in the car knowing she where focused on something else than just me. And it went fine. :) Perhaps bringing it up when your driving on a "motorway" isn't the best timing but otherwise it could be a good way for some. :D Oh sorry it got so long!
In the last year I had Maybe 5 probably more episodes where I screamed at my partner to please send me away. I did therapy for a little while but left do to my therapist canceling multiple appointments with next to no notice. My partner and roomate both told me i just needed to calm down and think of the kids. Problem was I was thinking of the kids and how meny times I have lashed out on them verbally because I was not dealing with my issues properly.
How do I explain to my kids 7 & 5 that I’m going to go to inpatient? they get very emotional if they know I’m going to the hospital and will break down crying instantly if I tell them I’m leaving. I went to impatient twice over the past 4 years once was for two weeks and my husband refused to bring them to “a place like that” to see me he also said he doesn’t want to be around people like that and so I was alone the entire time. And the second time I was there for less then 24 hours because I had to be rushed to the hospital for a perforated peptic ulcer and was told when I arrived that I was going to die if I didn’t get emergency surgery but a miracle happened and the doctor seen on the MRI after a second look before I was going into surgery that my small intestine flipped up and suctioned onto the hole in my stomach stoping the bleeding... I was then admitted for 10 days at that point. Since then I’ve had to get two surgery’s and was in the hospital for just under a week each time. I know I desperately need serious help but what do I do when I feel like it will cause my children trauma if i Leave? I’ve been very good at keeping it together in front of them and putting on my “happy everything if fine mask” yet m dyeing inside. Also, I don’t know how my husband will pay the mortgage or any bills at all if he can’t work because I’m gone, we have no support system around us, we are each others support system.
Kati Morton My question is why is PBD so closely associated with complex PTSD? Is this explained in the Complex PTSD video? Could you do a video on it individually?
My sister made a Easter dinner this pass Sunday. It's because I'm so scared of being judged by my family because I'm struggling with a drug addiction I just didn't show up at all
My friend actually noticed my ED and depression developing. I didn't believe I had an ED. I asked a dietitian friend and came to realization I needed help.
Hi Kati, I realized that the reason why sometimes healthy communication is so difficult for me is because I don' have much statistics of such language in my mind (in a Psycholinguistic class from my college I learned that humans learn to speak language has a lot to do with the statistics they collect in their brain from their surroundings). How would you recommend us to build up our "statistics of healthy communication/language"?
I haven't finished the video yet, but a lot of times I end up nonverbal or I stutter to the point no one can understand me. What I do is just write them a note beforehand. Just give them your notes!
Yeah! I have a really hard time taking about difficult topics (surprise) and I’ll cut down what I was supposed to say into less than half. so what I’ve done a few times is write a note so I say everything I need to say, then I hand it to them. So at this point I’ve gotten the main points across and we can then have a conversation about it, but I’ve already said everything that I really needed to say
I have panic attacks, manic depression, suicidal thoughts all the time, endless grief. I’m totally fucked. People don’t bother to help me at this point.
My mom says being bisexual and gender fluid is just a trend. I’ve been depressed for a year and never got help, she also says this is just a teen phase and a trend. 😕 Hard to get is across to her.
Maybe stop waiting for her validation. If she can't accept that part of you, keep it from her until she is.
heyitsjay I’m not gender fluid, but I am bisexual. I’m sorry your mom doesn’t support you. The only advice I think I can give you is that you need the opinion of only yourself. You don’t need your mother’s opinion. You need what makes you happy, and that’s all that matters. (As long as what makes you happy doesn’t hurt you, or anyone else!).
I’m so bad at communicating and words. I hope I explained it well enough to get the message across.
Your opinion of yourself >> Anyone else's opinion of you.
#Never4Get
You have to practice not caring what she thinks about your sexuality.... because it doesn't matter. You are not responsible for your mother's thoughts, feelings, perceptions, and/ or opinions of you. I want you to repeat that to yourself whenever you feel depressed or down, or whenever she is trying to project or assert those ideals on to you (This is what helped me). I want you to write it down, understand it, internalize it and fully embrace this concept. Those are HER thoughts and feelings NOT YOURS! You don't need her validation or acceptance in order to be happy. Speak your truth and let her have her reaction and response to it if she can't accept the fact that YOU ARE Bisexual that's her problem NOT yours! Just simply say "you're entitled to your opinion (or feelings)" and leave it at that walk away.
TLDR; Speak your truth, after that there's no need to discuss(Justify, Argue, Defend, Explain) it anymore with her. You just... are and that's that, she has no control over that. PERIOD
If you have not done it yet can you do a video CD mental illness I am worried that I have please do it I need to know!!!!!
Hi kati, what if your prepared and have your notes but don't actually say any of it. I wrote a note for someone at college that I could either say or give to them but I ended up walking out of the room without doing any of that. I'm like this every time I try to talk, or I either start to talk but then I like hit a brick wall. How can I overcome this feeling of hitting a brick wall? I doubt you will see this but it was worth a try, thanks, Molly.
Molly Braid I know I'm way late and I'm not Kati but I understand what you mean. I try and I try but I can't seem to get words out of I'm face to face with the person. I just can't, it definitely does feel like a brick wall. What I find is a lot easier is texting someone. That way I don't have to see their face or immediate reaction and I can edit what I'm trying to say so I don't stutter or derail from my point. It's still hard but it helps me loads. Hope it helps
Yeah, I know that feeling. I know I'm very late but maybe someone still sees this...
For me, I have found three ways to get to tell people. First way, don't say it directly, but rather hint at it and hopefully the other person will figure out what you mean. If they don't, at least you are already talking about that topic, you now have to explain that because you already started the conversation. For example, I once told a friend "I didn't participate in p.e. today, and I do feel a little sick, but mostly I didn't want to run around wearing short sleeves" she understood after a few seconds that I had cut a couple days previously.
The second way is deciding on the very first words you want to say and then repeating that phrase in your head over and over until it becomes more random sounds than something that describes your struggles, and then say that. It works best if the words you choose don't even show what you want to talk about. Like "I just want you to know that..." After that, maybe you don't manage to say the really important words right away, but they are gonna ask what you want them to know, so you have that conversation started. Also it helps if you practice the conversation in your head and look in the mirror while you say the words out loud, or imagine the person you want to tell standing in front of you.
Third way: either tell them via text or if you still want a face to face conversation, write it down and hand them your note, or text them asking if they have time to talk for a minute the next day, so at least you don't have to start the conversation anymore.
Hope this helps someone
I did this with my parents in a very low part of my life. Unfortunately I still don’t have the confidence to talk about things, but they completely understand. I don’t see anything wrong with writing a note as long as it gets your feelings across! Also thank you for the tips previous comment
How do I communicate with my parents who pretend everything is ok with me? I have anxiety and a lot of fears which influence largely my life, my dreams, my ambitions. They simply don't understand or take it as seriously as it is. Although evidence is all around them.
I have major depression disorder and when i speak to my mother about my situation she always suggestion something the opposite when all i would like for her to do is listen. I don't understand why she continue to do that?..
Just the video I was looking for! You have no idea how hard I have looked for a video just like this one.
I tried to kill myself last Monday and I want help. I haven't been to a therapist since I was like 7 and I went the one time only for a bed wetting problem. I absolutely hated it and never wanted to go again, but now that I'm almost 21 I realize that my behavior is scaring me. I have a clue what maybe wrong with me, but at this moment I just want to know that I'm not alone, that I'm not crazy, and that I can get better with help.
I still on a daily basis since last Monday have had suicidal ideation and it comes to me in flashes where I can physically see myself doing the action, but I have been fighting real hard just to breath and let the feeling pass. I don't know why I have gotten bolder in my attempts. I have had suicidal thoughts off and on since I was 8, but I have never physically attempted. It was like I was not me and my body was just ready to die so it grabbed the tool to do it. I really feel I need this help and I would have been on the road to treatment by now, but the same day I decided to kill myself was the same day the apartment staff decided to send my mother a 14 day eviction warning which I knew would piss her off. So I didn't tell her about my problems. It also didn't help that she dismissed me the Friday before when I try to tell her what I was feeling. We aren't close, but she is the one that holds my insurance card and social security card so I would have to tell her in order to get treatment. It also doesn't make me feel any better that when I did tell my grandmother how I was feeling and we are super close that she thought I was just saying those things to insult her. My grandfather also called me ungrateful and seeking attention. Now mind you those three instances happened before I tried to commit suicide. I wish I could talk to my father as he has bipolar disorder and will understand what it is like to have a mental illness, but he ruined our relationship back when I was 10 and I haven't talked to him much since.
Now that I have watched this video and have an understanding for communication, even though I get very nervous talking to people about anything let alone my feelings, I can take what I learned in this video to hopefully get my family to listen to my cries out for help. Thank you so much Kati!
Please collab with Dan Howell he once advised you in a mental health video and I know for sure you'll reach a big audience which is very important. Thanx!
I'm close to my mom and told her I wanted to see a therapist and a psychiatrist. She flipped out on me. I only told her a few things, just the basic information.
Need A Way Out I'm really sorry to hear that :( Has this issue been resolved at all? If you have a family doctor, it might help you to talk to them about your struggles and your needs, and having them communicate with your mom. She's probably worried, and hearing that your child is struggling is a difficult thing(but you have the right to communicate your struggles!!) The reason I suggest a doctor is that they can offer both you and your mom resources and they can rationalise things for your mom more than you can because they're unbiased. If you need to talk, the app Pacifica or thinkpacifica.com is a great resource for support groups! Hope you're okay. Take care x
Mine did that too. She slowly changed her mind, though, and now she fully supports me in my recovery. I'm going on residential treatment and she's telling me we will do whatever will get me well. It's been some years in the making, I'm not gonna lie, but people change their minds.
Hey Kati have you ever listened to Lisa A Romano? I think you should check her out, Both of you are very insightful.
Well.....my experience is I can't open up because if I try to tell even the slightest thing that bothers me or pulls me down I just get something like "nay don't whine you're a boy" or "you just imagining things"
When i try to explain I have a hole in my being when I should feel emotions except for 1 person they say something like "this is stupid"
And these are family and a few of my close surrounding.
Any tips? :'D
I have Autism and ADHD. Sometimes I have these Autistic meltdowns, and I feel awful. I don't know what to do. I feel like I've exhausted all of my resources. I cannot control my situation. I have a therapist but I don't like her.
Now I have a therapist that I think I might like, I hope I will like him continually.
How do I know if I am in Crisis and need to reach out for help
When I told my mum about my self harming she was crying with me only because she knew the pain and self harmed herself... That's even worse for me because I feel like my self harming doesn't matter...😖
Did you read my mind get out of my head lol ps tell me how u summon them it's 4 am and just trying to get to bed ughhhhh so much work
what i'm always worried aout is that at any point, no matter how prepared i am, i'll start crying half-way through
I have a suggestion of someone you could do a video with, where should I message you the details on their info?
I told my friend that I was diagnosed with depression, and he said that I was joking. And till now won't tell everyone about that
I feel like I need help for my mental health, I wanna tell my parents but I don't know how, I think my problem is an anxiety like thing, I just don't know how to start..