The Power of Forgiveness | The Science of Happiness
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- čas přidán 28. 10. 2013
- Forgiveness, what does it really mean? If you ask for forgiveness, do you lose the upper hand? This week on Science of Happiness we get selfish for minute, and find out what's in it for you. Watch more: • Calling to Forgive a L...
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What I found interesting was how each person reacted differently looking into the mirror. One was direct and kept eye contact, some looked away maybe because they felt like they were apart of what cause what they were holding onto..
This series definitely needs to continue!
Cardigan Hall You make a very interesting point! Thanks for watching Science of Happiness! :D
this is so so true the series needs to continue,
i did the same thing two days ago and today i came across this vid, we need a lone time with us and verball freely express our thoughts out, you fee
Some people just don't like looking at themselves (me!).
i'm crying. soulpancake is healing my soul
AJonesFitness We are so glad that this video impacted you in a positive way! :D Stay Awesome!
+mrvrabeca there are in other videos =) probably just a coincidence, hm
me too!!!!!❤
I'm in a situation like the guy who is talking about the work colleague
These videos are so addictive.
they are
Forgiveness is never the most logical thing to do--but it is always the thing we must do to overcome our past. When we cling to our past, a previous wrongdoing by someone else, our own mistake... we get lost in the memory, an idea of life and not life itself.
To forgive is to let go, despite the fact that not everyone will be deserving of forgiveness. And worst of all, sometimes that person we need to forgive is ourselves--when we fail to do so we cannot grow beyond our own mistakes and thoughts of who we used to be.
I love to talk about these things because I have a strong love of life, of our humanity. I want to see people grow and overcome themselves so that they may live to the fullest. I am walking down a path that I will never reverse--I will become stronger, smarter, and better with each day. If you find me to be genuine, and may my life be my word, bring me your own thoughts, knowledge, and life experience so that we may both grow. That is all, no more no less.
***** Sometimes Letting go is necessary to find happiness. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. We love making videos that make you discuss topics such as this. Stay Awesome!
I think forgiveness is a way of releasing something's control over you and understanding that 90% of thing that people do, have to do with them, and not you, even if they are done to you. Realising that if someone does something bad it is because they have issues and not because it means you are not a worthy, or valuable, or important person with feelings. It doesn't mean excusing someone, you can forgive someone and never speak to them again. You don't need to suffer internally continuously to be able to understand when someone or something does not serve you anymore.
You summed it up perfectly!
Forgiveness has set me free time and time again. I got so tired of holding myself hostage with all the anger and resentment I struggled to let go of. When I did, my life was slowly transformed. Not only could I learn to forgive others, I learned to forgive myself.
"Forgiveness requires a recognition of another and their humanity. Of course, humanity is fallible, and you can excuse human behavior on this alone, but really it is feeling another person’s condition. Here compassion arises naturally when you recognize the humanity and the reality of another person or a whole nation of people."
From A New Way forward for Humanity, Forgiveness by MV Summers
Thanks ALW
Forgiveness is LOVE
Natalie That is so true!
revenge is sweet
Self love
Forgiveness can be an expression of love, but let’s get specific. Emotional expression is really hard for a lot of ppl and we can all work on it and help each other. For me, forgiveness has been the necessary step to experiencing gratitude. I can not meditate or "practice" gratitude or have a gratitude journal. All of those "methods" give me anxiety. I can say I have experienced real, full-body gratitude when I forgave with all my heart. Forgiveness is a gift to the recipient and to yourself. If you are comfortable, share the impact of forgiveness in your life.
I love this quote:
"True forgiveness is giving up all hope of a better past" -
By acknowledging (which can be scary) my hurts instead of hiding from my feelings I can then think and logically address them and my needs and my hopes of what could have been. Then my loving self has the door opened to let go of the hurts and go forward with the happiness and the new! Forgiveness also is needed many times as the hurt is deeper but just like Shrek's analogy in his first movie, ogres have layers-onions have layers and every time I do this process, it is like peeling away the undesirable problems till I get to the heart of myself which allows me to cry and fill the voids with the love that so naturally comes from God, from myself and from those around me.
As long as I'm trapped inside with a really good book ;)
Wen u love urself u can never hate others - Mirror therapy is simply wonderful :)
Really nice video
+Fishii MeenakshiChandra I find it a little hard actually, which means I probably need to do it.
Seeing the presence of their mirrors turn their letters from venting into confessions was pretty amazing.
I love Soul Pancake! I've listened to almost everything on their channel by now.
"Forgive others not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace". Forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling. It's a cycle you go through until the feelings behind the choice of forgiveness settle in your heart. You might need to forgive a person one thousand times, but once you make the choice to forgive you choose to work on that within yourself and not hold that against that person anymore. It's a lot of self work, that's why it's so "hard" to forgive.... isn't it?
Forgiveness is the release of all hope for a better past.
transformersloverjon your words shot through my heart... I nearly collapsed
Buddy Wakefield's words.
I love the fact that they attached the actual study into the video for us to check out. Not just airy fairy facts
Really wish that SoulPancake could make more of these series like the "Science of Love", "Science of Happiness".
It's truly freeing.
This reminds me of one of my fav quotes -- "Holding onto resentment is like drinking poison hoping the OTHER person dies!" Stay GREATful!
Forgiveness is a good thing, no question, but it is one of the most difficult things to obtain from someone. I hate to sound so negative, but believe me when I say, if you are attempting to obtain forgiveness from someone, GOOD LUCK, because chances are, it is NOT EVER going to happen under ANY circumstances. I don't know what it is, but human nature is hard wired to withhold forgiveness. People by and large, have this "one and done" policy. Meaning you have but ONE time to screw up with them, and you are GONE from their lives forever. Which is STUPID. I could see not forgiving someone after several screw ups, but after just ONE? Especially when the person asking for forgiveness is sincere and has gone out of their way to show just how sincere they are. For the last 5 plus years, I have done everything I know to do to get a former friend of mine to forgive me for ONE screw up years ago that had little to no impact on her life. But, she just won't forgive me. So, I had to come to the conclusion that A) it's never going to happen, she isn't ever going to forgive me under any circumstances and B) she really wasn't the friend I thought she was anyway, if one screw up was enough to end a friendship in her mind. So, I just had to give up on the whole thing. And to be honest, I am happier now that I have quit asking for her forgiveness. I don't want it and I wouldn't take it now, even if she did offer it. It speaks volumes about someone when they will actually hold someone to standards that they KNOW good and well they couldn't begin to live up to themselves. I can't function in a relationship where I am expected to be perfect all of the time, no matter what. That's ridiculous. And that is why I have come to the realization that I had simply been wrong about her. She is NOT a good person, by any means and she doesn't deserve friends if she can't treat them any better than that. People have no room for error with her, but not the other way around? No, honey, it don't work like that. Okay, sorry, I rambled a bit there!
***** To be honest, I don't know what I would do. I would be torn. One part of me would want to embrace her, and the other part of me would want to know why she refused to forgive me and stayed angry for years over something so minor. I can't help but question how much our friendship ever meant to her if she was able to end it so quickly in the first place. Life is too short to stay angry, so I would probably lean more towards forgiving her for not forgiving me for years.
As a severely bullied kid I legit knew I was gonna cry when I clicked this video. It’s so hard to forgive, but it’s not just about forgiving it’s about FORGETTING. Because forgive all you want nothing matters if you still hold on to what they did. I think a lot of people assume forgiveness is accepting that person into your life. You don’t have to let anyone into your life who wronged you but don’t let what that person did get to you emotionally. They’re not worth it, and you’re worth more.
CupcakeCult93 CupcakeCult93 beautifully stated. If I hold a resentment, I have allowed the person who wronged me rent space in my head for free and essentially, they win. I have never been good at holding on to resentments, I don't know if it's because I am too kind or just too damn busy.
I discovered your channel just today.. And since I started watching your videos, I just can't seem to stop.. Awesome! I'm like, I wanna share this to everybody I know.. Will definitely make everybody happy.. Thanks!
Same with me
The power of forgiveness has a big part to all the people wanted it that who commits mistakes on us. This video gives positivity to the person who really needs forgiveness.
To me, forgiveness is something to be EARNED by the transgressor, not something to be given out for nothing. I'll forgive someone when I feel they deserve it, and I'd expect no less from someone else to me.
You have no idea how much this video has effected my feelings about forgiveness. I bald right when the mirror came out- spoke back to you when you said "You don't need to reconcile with someone or even say a word to them. It's not the point of forgetting or excusing what happened- Forgiveness is for yourself."
Thank you soooooooooooooo much
Holding a grudge is EXHAUSTING, and you lose out so much. Thanks Soul Pancake for helping me remember that.
This series has inspired me to make a positive change within myself and possibly give that same benefit of feeling happier to others. I'm currently making a series called the Be Not Afraid Project (BNAP for short) and I'll be using some of the activities used in this series and test them on myself. Thank you so very much, Julian and to the rest of the SoH team for making this series so great! I hope you have a wonderful day! :D
Forgiveness is not an emotion. It's a decision/ great video, will share it with my coaching clients!
A man of forgiveness shows emotional strength because he doesn't have to put others down to make himself feel good.
I can honestly say this is one of the best channels on CZcams.
If any of the people featured in this video happen to lurk by here, I just want to say thank you for your bravery and for sharing with us.
"Learning to forgive,
even when it is not my mistake"
°^° Made me happy tho
This was a beautiful video and I'm going through such a tumultuous time, I gave it a try. Spent a hour writing a letter. Went off-script during the talking part and spent ages forgiving the both of us.
Didn't help, honestly speaking. My heart still hurts with every beat. Maybe it's because I ad-libbed so much, i dunno. but in any case, i wish it had worked. Thanks, anyway.
I think it should be a verified law that each school watches a soul pancake video everyday or every time they come out with a video because it can really help a lot of kids now of days deal with their struggles like it helps me. What soul pancake is doing is revolutionary and simply awesome!
my favourite new channel ever, these people are attempting to make the revolution real
Julian is so right. Forgiveness is not for the other person. Forgiveness is saying, "yes you hurt me, but I will not allow you to cause me to suffer." It essentially taking back control.
Forgiveness
Last week we looked at Jacob and what would become a new beginning for him. He was given the name Jacob because he clutched his brother heel. To clutched the heel means to deceive or to trip up . Genesis 25:21-34
But God had a plan for Jacob just like how he has a plan for all our lives.. But because our faith in God is weak we like Jacob tends to take matters in our own hands and look for a easy way to get what we want even if it belongs to our brother or sister, by means of deception. David could have taken the easy way by killing Saul to get what he wanted..... Strong Faith is just one of the reasons why God loved David.
The guilt of Jacob action would have lain heavy on Jacob’s heart, but God have a way to restoring us to our higher self by means of
forgiveness.
So what is Forgiveness?
Forgiveness has two root meaning:
1. to lift and take away
2. to atone for wrong doing
When we look at Genesis 32:3
We find Jacob making atonement for the wrongs that he has done is Brother Esau, a wrong that could be class as treason and merit death. It was after this atonement that his true blessing was going to be realised for God himself was going to bless him.
Brothers and sisters I say this to you, many of us are living a limited life because we refuse to atone for our transgression. Because it is hard to face the shame of the things we did when we were child like.
Genesis 33:1-16
Forgiveness is unlocking the door to set someone free and realizing you were the prisoner!
Even though Esau was kind and gracious to Jacob there was still an uneasiness that that surrounded Jacob because of his wrong doing he was still carrying the guilt and shame of is action... It is really hard to believed that even though he is enjoying the blessings that God had promised his grandfather he is still ashamed.. But God also had a plan for our guilt and shame
He is going to lift our sin and take away our guilt and shame and put them away as for as the East is from the west
Psalm 103 V1-13
This he has done through the blood of his son Jesus Christ. Who as the Lamb, his blood will wash away our sins, and as a counsellor his words will heal us and bring us closer to God.
But Why has God done such a thing ? because he wants us to be like him giving up something precious to atone for our wrong doing. just saying sorry is not enough sometimes we need to give up our pride.
It's actually ridiculous how amazing SoulPancake videos are...wow
I cried from the moment on they standed in front of the mirror. I kind of talked to myself the things that I would say and I realized that the key to being habppy, the thing I want most in my life, is to forgive. Thank you so much! If it weren't 'bout you... I don't know. I guess I'd be miserable for a lot more time to come.
I'm holding a grudge against one of the closest friends now and it's been nearly 2 months. I see her 4 times a week and it's hard to let it go. Watching this made me feel better - i know what to do now! Thank you!
Maybe im just stubborn. But i feel like in some situations, with some people, i honestly could not forgive them without a genuine apology from them.
Jenna Dekoster same. especially knowing that those people haven't changed at all or don't even see what they did wrong. i can't forgive a person without knowing that they've changed/learned from their mistake/wouldn't do that again.
What if you never get a apology ? Then your holding yourself hostage. Not worth your peace .
This one's gonna need a few days to process. I've been holding a lot more grudges lately than I used to, and now that I think about it I can see the negative effects on my overall happiness. I guess it's time I let go of the past and started moving forward.
I get excited when I see "soul pancake has uploaded a new video" in my subscription. This channel has literally changed my life for the better. Keep making these videos because obvious they are benefitting tons of people. Thank You so much
Julian you definitely never forgave your school bullies
I didn't even know I was helping y self already by doing this a wk or so after my breakup for a yr I was with my ex. I'm definitely doing this again so I can fully cleanse myself, especially if u feel like u have to have 'closure' with them, sometimes u can't and that's the hardest part but to know it will be okay and better yet, don't NEED that person there to feel good and better about urself is such a relief. Things in life happen and u have to forgive...humble urself and move on with that knowledge that u were strong and compassionate enough to forgive that person although they will never know. The battle is within urself.
Thank you for ur videos, they're truly inspiring. :)
We have started using inspirational (or sometimes funny videos) during our team meetings at work every 3 weeks and today we used this one and everyone loved the message. We all felt like we had some pent up frustration towards others and this led to a discussion about how to handle it. Thanks Soul Pancake and the guy who is not a doctor in a lab coat. Life is too short to live it bitter when you can instead find reasons to be happy. :)
i think soulpancake deserves to get more views. their videos are good quality and very inspiring.
Thank you Julien. I know this is true, and it can be so difficult. I needed to do it over and over for years before I could cleanse myself of the bitterness after a betrayal in my family. I hold out hope that it is possible to get past those awful negative feelings and worth the work.
I love The Science of Happiness...I watch every vid when they come out. I feel like, little by little, they're helping me become a better person. This ep in particular hits close to home with me, and it's given me a lot to think about/work on. Keep 'em coming! :-)
Love this! The grudge only hurts you, not anyone else.
thank you so much for all the hard work you guys put in for this videos i really do appreciate everything
Hey SoulPancake! I just wanted to thank you for posting these videos. I subscribed to your channel and love watching your videos. I have learned a lot about life and I feel you have helped me become a better person. I think you are doing a wonderful job. I hope to buy your book soon and I will definitely read it a lot! Thanks again.
Forgiving some people or deep wounds is so hard. I'd love to see more video's on this subject. Thanks Soul Pancake love you all!!!
This is literally my favorite channel. I love every single video put up.
thank you Julian. Forgiveness is a gift to myself from myself. and it can happen without the other person knowing. again, I just love your videos!
Thank you again SP. You continue to create such wonderful content.
Dear Julian and Soul pancake . Your lab of happiness has really helped me a lot over the week since I have discovered you. I hope that one day I get to to be a test subject . Thank you for this , it is beautiful
It's interesting on how simple acts can reach happiness, yet the difficulty of that act
Today, I was planning on blocking this friend out of my life, she was a friend of mine for 3 years. Eventually found out she only used me. Long story short, I ignored her for the most part, but after hearing this, I'm making myself happier forgiving.
Seriously, you guys are awesome. I tried this, and its really like letting all of those negative feelings out. Thank you so much.
Well when you have a grudge against someone, every time you think of them will result in that anxiety or negative stress nearly every time. So you don't have to forgive someone because they deserve your forgiveness but rather because YOU deserve peace. And the way I see it is, that inner emotion does nothing to that person, it only affects YOU. So it is almost like being mad at yourself in a way. So don't ever forget because repeating mistakes are counterproductive, but learn from it and move on.
Well said :o)
All wisdom, no matter how great or small, is the result of mistakes. Wisdom is just the hypocrite with a good heart and sense of empathy. So I am not perfect by any means but thank you c:
These videos always make me feel better. Thank you!
I love this series. Thank you soul pancake. Hehe and Julian and everyone who was a part of this. It truly has taught me so much about happiness.
Thank you.
I have gratitude for these people and the videos.
I've become a better woman because of watching these videos. I've always been able to be a really happy girl, but I feel now more than ever, I'm happy with myself.
Again, thank you.
I'll be trying to forgive the people in my past, one day at a time.
yeah...i think the ability to forgive is a very strong one. people should understand that forgiving somebody doesnt mean that the thing that person did is not as bad. forgiving is sth you do for yourself...it makes you strong!
I've always thought that I have to face that person if I were to forgive them. I never knew that I only needed myself and myself only. I think one of the main reason we are so determined not to forgive someone is because we want to avoid the confrontation. Thanks for the vid, I'm looking at forgiving at a whole new point and I think we all need to do this, cos whether we like it or not, whether we want to admit or not, it sucks to have a deep, black grudge inside.
I think I really needed this, thank you so much SoulPancake. You most certainly make my day every time I watch your videos :D
I loved the slow ending you had on one of the videos! It was all airy singing and it eased it out much better- it fits the video theme more.
This was a huge lesson for me, and I feel humbled after watching this video. It's amazing how hard is to hold a grudge and to let go of all the pain and negativity even though we know is bad for ourselves.
Thanks Soulpancake. Baby steps I guess :)
Really glad I found this series.
my father. it'll take time to final,y forgive the things he's said and done to me, but maybe one day I'll be able to do that. thank you, SoulPancake.♡
Touched me...second video in a row from SoulPancake, Thank you, going to try this out tonight when I get home. Thank you for creating this video.
Thank you Julian, keep them comming
Your mind's determination to remember is the protective mechanism to helping you prevent it happening. Remember the saying "Once bitten, twice shy"? Well this is your friend to help you adapt to protect yourself in future.
Well done! I really like how you focus on the fact that forgiveness benefits the forgiver!
This video is to remind you of your own self worth and you have control not what someone did to you but to understand you can learn from it or hurt from it.
Hello fellows of SoulPancake!
I'm from Brazil and I have to say, your work is awesome! This is the kind of project we need to spread!! Congratulations!
brilliant stuff as always! i'd be really interested to see a video where people ask for forgiveness themselves? something that plays on my mind a lot yo
It is so useful video for me. We need more videos like this one. Thank you Julian
"I've shown you the door, now it's up to you to walk through it"
I guess I should forgive you for that. *leaves*
Great video. That bit at the end about forgiving not being the same as reconciling is an important one. You can forgive someone for hurting you without setting yourself to be hurt again. A lot of people struggle with that. For some reason "I forgive you" is supposed to mean "let's be friends again" to a lot of people.
Thank you. I needed this.
I didn't realize how much I needed this video until after I watched it.
This is some real stuff! Thanks SoulPancake.
It can be hard for some people to forgive, but it's certainly worth it when they manage to.
Wonderful video. Thank you.
The best channel in youtube that every people should subscribe ...every part melts me down....💕💕💕💕
I'm really glad that I had watched this video. Someone in my life had recently made me feel really depressed and I have thought about not forgiving them for it. This video really made me think about somethings.
This is definitely one the best CZcams channels.
Great video, like always. Everyone should know about this and apply it in their lives, the world would be so much more happy. Channels like this really make my day better.
By the way, that redhead was the prettiest girl I've ever seen.
Im dealing with this issue for awhile (most my life). Will start this practice and see how i feel!
This is helping, really. I have a grudge on someone again, i forgive him before without confronting or saying words but then he keeps on repeating it and I was tired forgiving or trusting him that he would change but really, he keeps on doing it like he never UNDERSTAND whats right or wrong and now i'm anxious if he's around the house, thinking that he might do it again without us looking at him.
Choleen Samson I know it's hard. Remember forgiveness comes within ...
Guys, you're doing an amazing work. Well done! Thank you!
I started doing this last year when I first saw this video and IT FRECKIN WORKS . Just try it out for yourself . Thanks soulpancake
+Manan Khandelwal No Problem! Glad that SoulPancake is here to help! :)
This may be hard to understand for some, but I'm actually grateful for some of the most painful experiences I've had in my life because they provided such powerful motivation that it caused me to change my life in so many areas: my health, my relationships, my emotions & more. And I would've never been able to get to this wonderful place of gratitude without first learning how to forgive the people who hurt me and shift my perspective of what my past experiences mean.
It really helps me listening to your videos. Thanks a lot.
Every video just has me goin... "ah man the feels"
This channel is the best thing that has happened to me! I like it a LOT :D
wow. wow, i have to say thank you so much. you have helped me forgive my dad! you are impacting lives! thank you thank you thank youuuuuu !
thanks for this validation.
This is so awesome...i love SoulPancake
Man, I just love this serie of videos. It just makes me more happy :D
Julian! Amazing like always my friend!!
"That’s the best revenge of all: happiness. Nothing drives people crazier than seeing someone have a good fu*king life."
-Chuck Palahniuk
Unfortunately, sometimes forgiveness is seen as acceptance, or permission, and although you may feel better in the short term, the perpetuation of the problem may upset you/anger you more than it did before you 'forgave'. Also, where do you draw the line? A annoying colleague is one thing, but what about an abusive partner or someone who has molested you? Would forgiving them suddenly make what they did okay? If everyone forgave everything, there would never be consequences.
I have some forgiving to do. Thanks for bringing this to my attention.