Hysterics cannot be the brand sis 😩😭 | Conflict resolution with bae | Episode 56

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  • čas přidán 9. 08. 2022
  • Ooo conflict resolution?!😭 Pull up a seat honey, we are learning!
    Conflict is normal but there are practices that can make it healthy or unhealthy. Do you shout, insult, dismiss, walk away..👀 Or are you calm, intently listening and empathetic? 🥰 We can all have a moment but making some bad habits a practice in conflict resolution can harbour long term resentment. What are your tips on healthy conflict resolution? Let’s chat in the comments.
    Enjoy the listen and follow us for more content!
    CZcams: TMI Podcast KE - / @tmipodcastke
    Instagram:
    TMI Podcast KE - tmipodcastke?ut...
    Lydia KM - _lydiakm?...
    Murugi Munyi - murugi.munyi?ut...

Komentáře • 160

  • @FayKay348
    @FayKay348 Před rokem +229

    My man taught me something that has absolutely revolutionised our conflict resolution. The 5 part apology
    1. Apologise
    2. Take responsibility
    3. Acknowledge impact
    4. Offer resolution
    5. Ask for forgiveness
    Example: Oh babe, I am sorry that I came home past our agreed time. I understand that not communicating when I was coming home was irresponsible and made you anxious. Next time I will make sure to communicate and keep you updated about any changes in my schedule. Will you forgive me?
    Very simple, but it works like a charm. By the time you ask for forgiveness you have already covered everything and there is nothing to fight about any more lol.
    Also, the compliment sandwich works magic when bringing up issues.
    1. Positive feedback
    2. Constructive criticism
    3. Positive feedback

  • @kateouko1909
    @kateouko1909 Před rokem +167

    MURUGI THANK YOU FOR YOUR OPENNESS. You have poured yourself on this episode. It might be a few examples but it's appreciated.

  • @estreliakaris1540
    @estreliakaris1540 Před rokem +35

    If you are not listening to TMI podcast ...I don't know what you doing....ever since I started listening watching and following these two phenomenal women...I can attest that I'm slowly becoming a better version of myself...I'm so glad these two ladies came in my life just in time! Apart from the talks..."Its definitely TMI" is my favorite part😍😍...I love you guys...keep up the good work...lots of love😍

  • @mollykabuteh7144
    @mollykabuteh7144 Před rokem +23

    So, my man is the expressive type. "Babe I felt bad when...", "Babe I don't think i like it when..." Even taking time to discuss things out. The compliments and praises as well. So where I come from, that was hella new...like hello, what is this😂😂
    But I'm adjusted now and conflict resolution between us is as easy as it can be. Voices are not raised, still learning how to listen to understand his pov. Infact we can have a full argument with guests around and no one would be none the wiser.
    I wouldn't have it any other way. Positive conflict resolution is like adjusting to a new lifestyle because the negative ways are the easier ones.

  • @doctordeeM
    @doctordeeM Před rokem +42

    I almost DIED when Lydia said " I really have some admirable qualities" after realising how hysterical you were in an argument 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂it's me I am her. You quickly have to affirm yourself that you're not a terrible human being 🤣

  • @doctordeeM
    @doctordeeM Před rokem +30

    I've watched ALL the episodes of TMI and at this point I'm convinced that Murugi and I are the same person. The ways she says she handled things and how she does now, how she handles finances, so many things. And to be honest (I hope she can confirm this), the moment you realize that you're actually reacting differently now as opposed to how you would previously is a PROUD MOMENT.

  • @stellasituma
    @stellasituma Před rokem +44

    When my husband cursed at the sink during our disagreement, I nearly fell to the ground 😅 Hysterical Queen here's my crown 👑 It became all about me and how his respect for me is receding. 😂🤣😂 It took me a few days to get my balance because I threw it out the window 🪟 with my bare hands 🤣😂🤣 let me just say, I have a graceful man. I should give him random treats jamani, he's a gem 😂😂😂😂

  • @winniewangui9661
    @winniewangui9661 Před rokem +27

    I'm learning to tame my words I usually say things when I'm mad but later on I feel guilty, it makes feel really bad about myself.

  • @cpamaureenchela
    @cpamaureenchela Před rokem +84

    I love how Murugi can be so raw🥰🥰

  • @beloncekamz2821
    @beloncekamz2821 Před rokem +21

    Wueh! Ni vile mumejitolea💖 to bless us with consistent content. Needed this 😍💉to shift focus from TV election results🤦🏿‍♀️. Nawapenda bure😘🤗

  • @paulinewachira8563
    @paulinewachira8563 Před rokem +18

    TMI always makes me feel that I made the best decision by leaving that marriage. How I stayed in there for years, I don't know. The night outs and even sleeping out,no calls or nothing....waaah...guys,am shaking. Also,there are so many lessons for when I'm ready for the next relationship (ain't giving up on love),to be better and to know what I want and what I will stand for. I am also here for your facial expressions 😆😆😆

  • @missmuroti
    @missmuroti Před rokem +9

    For us who overthink things ..I can't go to sleep without solving..the sleep wount come..I'll just be thinking and mad the whole time🤦🤦

  • @whisperywind8768
    @whisperywind8768 Před rokem +5

    Are you gonna have baked beans?... or BBBBRRREEEEAAADDDD?" 48:22
    😂😂😂😂Lmaooo. that sent me!

  • @zaneledlamini6018
    @zaneledlamini6018 Před rokem +5

    Wow! we need such authentic podcast. A topic can be very interesting but when you share personal experiences that can resonate with your audience, trust you me; you have won the hearts of your audience. Love.. love.. you ladies keep the chemistry alive always. You are building homes, We are learning and growing in between your genuine conversations.

  • @ggll5240
    @ggll5240 Před rokem +9

    My toxic self would see it as a competition, this weekend was him but next weekend it's me, phone off, 2am, nowhere to be seen

  • @annexismuriu
    @annexismuriu Před rokem +19

    1 thing I have learnt from these podcasts is that men are wired so differently from women but as we men we tend to expect them to behave like us. Big conflict

  • @joyb5353
    @joyb5353 Před rokem +9

    Hey Lyd ... I agree with you.. if you are a naturally passionate person.. it also comes out in conflict.. the passion and intensity can be too much🤣🤣🤣 ... I try to think through my thoughts before I am extreme passionate and regret the harshness hehe..

  • @roziebaybe1626
    @roziebaybe1626 Před rokem +11

    56 Episoder here🙌 love such topics and especially appreciate Joan's point of view for us married with kids...urg! love you girls❤❤

  • @erisajohnson3768
    @erisajohnson3768 Před rokem +12

    I loved this episode! A very open, vulnerable, and tremendously helpful conversation. I took away so many helpful tips. My man will thank you! 😂

  • @idafavoured9686
    @idafavoured9686 Před rokem +4

    Like you said most men don't know how to express there feelings so for me I like to ask mostly every week "hey have I done anything that has apset you of late" and with that you find him opening up so much and the relationship becomes very smooth and he also learns that you are a safe space and sometimes you don't even get to ask he just says it. Coz most men don't express because they don't know how you will react

  • @wendyayungo4633
    @wendyayungo4633 Před rokem +16

    Lol currently having some conflict 😅 this came at the perfect time.. and honestly ladies you've helped me 😅

  • @CuguKiama
    @CuguKiama Před rokem +3

    Another healthy conflict resolution tip would be instead of assuming that your partner didn’t care about you and now telling them that “it clearly shows that you don’t care about me” you instead ask them a question. “Did you consider me when doing 123?” Because now you’re not attacking them and they’re able to come to the realization that they could have done better without all the guilt being placed on them. But like you’ve said somethings are easier said than done. Reaaaaaaaally enjoyed this episode

  • @vanessajorgembanze8089
    @vanessajorgembanze8089 Před rokem +7

    i can't not love TMI. You guys are doing such an amazing job at raising consciousness at so many different topics that all black African woman deal with. love love love from your Mozambican babe ❤❤❤❤❤❤

  • @thoughtsofgertrude8163
    @thoughtsofgertrude8163 Před rokem +4

    I love the way Lydia and Murungi are always open with sharing their experiences with us.
    Conflict resolution( mostly with my partner) has not been one of my strengths as most of them have always ended in a break up.
    I now can tell why from what you guys have shared and look forward to working on it.

  • @Essykiarieh
    @Essykiarieh Před rokem +35

    Balancing between the election updates and the new episode! Love this!

    • @sheechege4084
      @sheechege4084 Před rokem +1

      It's not easy but we still find the balance 😂😂

  • @wanjiku805
    @wanjiku805 Před rokem

    Another great topic. Fighting fair and having a language when you know you are about to say something that will hurt the other person. That takes a lot of practice and self awareness.

  • @lizlilly3246
    @lizlilly3246 Před rokem +10

    The pressure was getting worseeeeer 😂😂😂😭 and then TMI 😍😍😍😅

  • @ruwabs
    @ruwabs Před rokem +11

    Joan Murugi , you're so dramatic 😂😂😂....I can't stop laughing at your arguments 😂😂

  • @sherryeve5328
    @sherryeve5328 Před rokem +15

    Lemme now go deal with this man 😂😂😂 I'm equippppped 😌😌.

  • @agnesndelindakalako1513
    @agnesndelindakalako1513 Před rokem +4

    M from Windhoek Namibia and i love you guys soo much. this is soo insightful. Very very relatable and educative... Also it had me in stiches 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 .. Thank you... this on its own is therapy...

  • @MwendwaMukuru
    @MwendwaMukuru Před rokem +5

    I sometimes ask for time to just calm down. I really don't know how to communicate while angry. Also, I agree with setting rules, we did this cause weeeuh, conflicts are there.

  • @sheerdesire7341
    @sheerdesire7341 Před rokem +5

    I am murugi. Murugi is me I love ❤️ how open you were on this episode keep it up love you girl 🥰

  • @brendahnjoki1370
    @brendahnjoki1370 Před rokem +1

    This really came at the perfect time when I'm having a conflict😢.I love the openness that you guys have because it makes us relate more.
    But otherwise the episode was just pure comedy😂😂😂.I was laughing 95% of the time and it has actually made me feel better and ready to resolve my conflict in a more mature way this evening.Thankyou TMI❤

  • @wendiemary9976
    @wendiemary9976 Před rokem +4

    I can't imagine someone cracking a joke when I'm raging😂😂... Heads will roll! 😂

  • @sharonmbari8677
    @sharonmbari8677 Před rokem +5

    I love the honesty in your conversations. This was very insightful and helpful in conflict resolution in relationships. Thank you Lydia and Murugi 💕

  • @gladysmwangi1837
    @gladysmwangi1837 Před rokem +9

    Wooooooow... I'm at that point where I'm thinking 🤔 did I get my dad as a partner??

  • @furahathestar
    @furahathestar Před rokem +3

    Loved this❤️❤️❤️Murugi your examples THANKS ALOOOOT and Lydia on how you breakdown stuff🔥🔥🔥

  • @hallejudy
    @hallejudy Před rokem +1

    This takes me back to your response on that brand PR issue. Girl you're mature. Love you both

  • @annwambui3077
    @annwambui3077 Před rokem +3

    This is so powerful I just hope it's always easier done especially for us who have almost all the bad habits of conflict resolution🤦

  • @imungukalevera8671
    @imungukalevera8671 Před rokem +12

    Wueh, Murugi if my partner told me I am the worst decision they ever made and they hate me I would be out the next day. I know you know, but maybe chill out on such hurtful statements. Especially men swallow their pain and don't speak up till the last day. I appreciate your honesty admitting this on the podcast.

  • @karenanyango4496
    @karenanyango4496 Před rokem +7

    Wednesday my favorite Day 💞 n time to listen to u guy's..be blessed

  • @hildawambui4213
    @hildawambui4213 Před rokem +1

    Wow finally am here 🖐️❤️let's learn from our crazy sisters 😍😍

  • @lilianngugi4102
    @lilianngugi4102 Před rokem +2

    Wehhhh this is hitting deep aki .... This is such a helpful episode thanks so so much

  • @Flourish_today
    @Flourish_today Před rokem +4

    I think people who insult oyhers while quarreling lack maturity. That insult of physical appearance is the worst.

  • @beatricesloan7063
    @beatricesloan7063 Před rokem +2

    I love this conversation,I am learning alot about conflict resolution In a mature way

  • @missmuroti
    @missmuroti Před rokem +9

    Is Lydia wearing mike's denim jacket??? 👀😂😂...so we are many!!

  • @judywaithira7127
    @judywaithira7127 Před rokem +3

    This come exactly when I needed it the most
    Thank you girls

  • @lilo254
    @lilo254 Před rokem +1

    Thank you for this episode ❤️❤️❤️

  • @sarahngetha3352
    @sarahngetha3352 Před rokem

    It's the messy inbtween....I 've learnt a lot #we 're grow thanks you TMI🤗

  • @buyisilembatha3854
    @buyisilembatha3854 Před rokem +3

    Watching all the way from South Africa. I love your content, keep up the good work.😍😍

  • @hakayi9130
    @hakayi9130 Před rokem +2

    I thoroughly enjoyed and learnt alot from this episode. ❤️

  • @angelachange9382
    @angelachange9382 Před rokem +8

    After i ended up as a single mum like my mum i realised i got a baby with a man who is just like my dad : a drunkard, a cheat but am glad am doing well raising my baby girl I hope when i will be ready to date I choose different

  • @mawiah2749
    @mawiah2749 Před rokem +2

    Tell me why Jo's openness is relatable and comforting😍😍

  • @nairobikenya_
    @nairobikenya_ Před rokem +5

    🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
    Guys please you are killing me. Please do more weekly uploads the gworls need it!

  • @iamrobby
    @iamrobby Před rokem

    Its 12 tuned here always looking forward every wensday ❤❤

  • @Withfaith172
    @Withfaith172 Před rokem +12

    I somehow cant understand how your episodes are 1hr+ and I still feel they are too short🙂

  • @MwendeSchwinn
    @MwendeSchwinn Před rokem +6

    There's something like the 5 languages of apology...just like 5languages of love. You guys have touched on them even without labelling them as 5 languages of apology.👏👏👏👏🥰

  • @blackadmiral_
    @blackadmiral_ Před rokem +2

    I am learning ❤️❤️ thank you TMI❤️🥂

  • @jayneakinyi1992
    @jayneakinyi1992 Před rokem +1

    You guys are gloooowing😊😊

  • @tfa4782
    @tfa4782 Před rokem +2

    Not m being hysterical this vry week nd boom TMI wt a conflict resolution episode,,,, sooo in sync

  • @dianaachieng5374
    @dianaachieng5374 Před rokem

    😂😂😂 love love this,iv learnt afew things for sure..

  • @thegodlyprincess_kenya
    @thegodlyprincess_kenya Před rokem +5

    Murugi I love you 🥂 you give pure TMI. Relatable.

  • @charitykathure2528
    @charitykathure2528 Před rokem +4

    I have been at that point where I felt like I had told him something bad and I was being toxic towards him. After an intense conversation on WhatsApp, he called after an hour and I apologize. But he is the one who called

  • @mwendenyaga91
    @mwendenyaga91 Před rokem +1

    ❤️❤️ happy to be here

  • @waeniskitchen
    @waeniskitchen Před rokem +2

    enjoyed watching this

  • @fortunatemars262
    @fortunatemars262 Před rokem +5

    My man says "I love you baby" during fights. When it gets heated and am still firing my shots and maybe he has apologized but am still trying to put my point across, he says he loves me and then I just melt 🫠. It's adorable and it helps keep me in check.

  • @immaculategem
    @immaculategem Před rokem +1

    This is a fantastic episode... 🤗

  • @salliegeoffrey5120
    @salliegeoffrey5120 Před rokem

    This was so raw, thanks ladies

  • @racquellek
    @racquellek Před rokem

    the best episode so far because the way i have related to you guys waaah i have a lot to work on and here i thought nimejijua vizuri, back to the drawing boards

  • @joykwendo8381
    @joykwendo8381 Před rokem +8

    The audio is quite low on this video :(

  • @PeninahKihuti
    @PeninahKihuti Před rokem

    I felt attacked. But still learning a lot.... Thanks ladies for being vulnerable in this show. Its felt very real as usual.

  • @peninahsigana8478
    @peninahsigana8478 Před rokem

    Thank you so much Murugi and Lydia for sharing parts of your life with is in this episode, it's inspiring. I hate that word, 'Relax.' When my husband says it, that's it, I flip. We are arguing and it's something important to me na ninaambiwa nirelax😒
    I think, we should at times stop using triggering words. If it's something important to each of us, take time and really listen and internalise cause that's how small things become big.

  • @annienyambura2547
    @annienyambura2547 Před rokem +1

    Loved this episode 💕

  • @bellamish472
    @bellamish472 Před rokem +9

    Your points are priceless on this but wait until you're trying them with a narcissistic partner and this is recipe for you to run mad🤣😁

    • @wanjikumwangi7192
      @wanjikumwangi7192 Před rokem +5

      From experience, you can never have healthy conflict resolution with a person with narcissistic tendencies. At the core of it, narcissism is shame-based, so you bringing up something that hurt you means you have unearthed a part of them and no longer putting them on a pedestal. Hence the stonewalling/silent treatment, gaslighting or trivializing and then turning tables so you end up apologizing. MENTAL GYMNASTICS!

  • @ivonna7916
    @ivonna7916 Před rokem +3

    I don't think I was ready for this episode 😂
    I always thought I have healthy habits in solving a conflict but weh that kapart of listening to understand not to respond 😭💔

  • @gloriamikara6634
    @gloriamikara6634 Před rokem +1

    Lydia that was ezee n natalie on the taking care of the priority first about the rain 😊

  • @boldisbeautiful2684
    @boldisbeautiful2684 Před rokem +1

    Lyd talking about the cursing bit was really funny 😂😂 my biggest control is avoiding words that I can't take back

  • @irenerichards5399
    @irenerichards5399 Před rokem +4

    We don't mind 1hr+, ata 2hrs we are here for it!!!

  • @saracynthia8273
    @saracynthia8273 Před rokem

    i love both of you, especially Lydia she is my mentor

  • @marcellaokenyuri3774
    @marcellaokenyuri3774 Před rokem +22

    Aki I was not ready for this conversation. There is something always stuck to my throat during such moments I almost always end up crying however hard I try not to. I will avoid to try cool down, I will be calculated with my words but somehow...the tears come wueh...

    • @roziebaybe1626
      @roziebaybe1626 Před rokem +7

      I validate your emotions ❤

    • @terryray3147
      @terryray3147 Před rokem +1

      U have things in your life that u have not cried about. So when any trigger happens the tears flow. Hooe u have a person who appreciates that u ate an emotional person. Its not a weakness.

  • @wambuigorgeous
    @wambuigorgeous Před rokem +7

    I feel like women are expected to perform all the emotional labor in relationships and that's why we end up feeling so frustrated.

  • @queensleyeghianruwa811
    @queensleyeghianruwa811 Před rokem +1

    I love these women honestly 😂!!!!!! I really learnt loads

  • @HeyPhonsi
    @HeyPhonsi Před rokem +5

    I am different, crack a joke. If it's funny, I will instantly calm down for a bit but after that, I will be like "let's resume".

  • @mercynjiru1401
    @mercynjiru1401 Před rokem +2

    Even breathing is not allowed in a conflict, Murugi😅🤣🤣🤣

  • @missblessedbellablessed
    @missblessedbellablessed Před rokem +8

    😂😂😂😂Lydia is always a vibe

  • @danielkabata7984
    @danielkabata7984 Před rokem +5

    As a man I tend to listen to her coz I learnt I can't compete with my woman during arguments.....

  • @catherinemwinuka9734
    @catherinemwinuka9734 Před rokem +12

    Joan if you think about it that conflict concerning your ovulation, it was a blessing disguise. Cause it wouldn’t have been Tana if it happened that day😁

  • @angelat3614
    @angelat3614 Před rokem +3

    By the way Lydia as a TCK myself I feel ya!

  • @lindasylvia2635
    @lindasylvia2635 Před rokem

    I love you girls!🥰😍

  • @faithawino
    @faithawino Před rokem

    .."Ati are your feet the only ones that matter..?" 😅😅
    Nice episode..great lessons..only hope I can remember to put in practice 🤷‍♀️

  • @lifeofsheila4041
    @lifeofsheila4041 Před rokem +5

    Love you guys 😍😍😍I usually come here to get a dose of reality

  • @natashambaziira
    @natashambaziira Před rokem

    The one about making jokes during an argument really hit home😂 weh! Now is when you want to crack a joke or compliment me, no thank you. Back to the matter at hand please sirrrr!!
    Also we really need a video with some guys on set for their perspective about conflicts and resolution.

  • @edithoketch2235
    @edithoketch2235 Před rokem

    Salamz from Mexico City. Let's do this.....❤️

  • @missme4862
    @missme4862 Před rokem +1

    I love this episode 🤣🤣🤣

  • @ebakerscreations
    @ebakerscreations Před rokem

    I love this Duo....for free ❤️

  • @miriamatuadi8076
    @miriamatuadi8076 Před rokem +5

    Love you guys so much...I was laughing at so many points in this video because I could totally relate...we are definitely learning

  • @hannahkahiti5839
    @hannahkahiti5839 Před rokem +3

    I always write the points down to discuss later with man's... #tmipodcastke

  • @ireneogengo8349
    @ireneogengo8349 Před rokem +1

    Take home it's not me v you it's me and you in this thnks murugi 🥰🥰

  • @kq_kakenya6184
    @kq_kakenya6184 Před rokem

    Always waiting for that notification

  • @musinare
    @musinare Před rokem +2

    Me seateed here knowing I have been here more than 56 times 🤣