Hysterics cannot be the brand sis 😩😭 | Conflict resolution with bae | Episode 56
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- čas přidán 9. 08. 2022
- Ooo conflict resolution?!😭 Pull up a seat honey, we are learning!
Conflict is normal but there are practices that can make it healthy or unhealthy. Do you shout, insult, dismiss, walk away..👀 Or are you calm, intently listening and empathetic? 🥰 We can all have a moment but making some bad habits a practice in conflict resolution can harbour long term resentment. What are your tips on healthy conflict resolution? Let’s chat in the comments.
Enjoy the listen and follow us for more content!
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TMI Podcast KE - tmipodcastke?ut...
Lydia KM - _lydiakm?...
Murugi Munyi - murugi.munyi?ut...
My man taught me something that has absolutely revolutionised our conflict resolution. The 5 part apology
1. Apologise
2. Take responsibility
3. Acknowledge impact
4. Offer resolution
5. Ask for forgiveness
Example: Oh babe, I am sorry that I came home past our agreed time. I understand that not communicating when I was coming home was irresponsible and made you anxious. Next time I will make sure to communicate and keep you updated about any changes in my schedule. Will you forgive me?
Very simple, but it works like a charm. By the time you ask for forgiveness you have already covered everything and there is nothing to fight about any more lol.
Also, the compliment sandwich works magic when bringing up issues.
1. Positive feedback
2. Constructive criticism
3. Positive feedback
Absolutely love this. I'm going to try use this
Waohhhhhh. I will definitely try this
Love this💕
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MURUGI THANK YOU FOR YOUR OPENNESS. You have poured yourself on this episode. It might be a few examples but it's appreciated.
If you are not listening to TMI podcast ...I don't know what you doing....ever since I started listening watching and following these two phenomenal women...I can attest that I'm slowly becoming a better version of myself...I'm so glad these two ladies came in my life just in time! Apart from the talks..."Its definitely TMI" is my favorite part😍😍...I love you guys...keep up the good work...lots of love😍
So, my man is the expressive type. "Babe I felt bad when...", "Babe I don't think i like it when..." Even taking time to discuss things out. The compliments and praises as well. So where I come from, that was hella new...like hello, what is this😂😂
But I'm adjusted now and conflict resolution between us is as easy as it can be. Voices are not raised, still learning how to listen to understand his pov. Infact we can have a full argument with guests around and no one would be none the wiser.
I wouldn't have it any other way. Positive conflict resolution is like adjusting to a new lifestyle because the negative ways are the easier ones.
I almost DIED when Lydia said " I really have some admirable qualities" after realising how hysterical you were in an argument 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂it's me I am her. You quickly have to affirm yourself that you're not a terrible human being 🤣
I've watched ALL the episodes of TMI and at this point I'm convinced that Murugi and I are the same person. The ways she says she handled things and how she does now, how she handles finances, so many things. And to be honest (I hope she can confirm this), the moment you realize that you're actually reacting differently now as opposed to how you would previously is a PROUD MOMENT.
When my husband cursed at the sink during our disagreement, I nearly fell to the ground 😅 Hysterical Queen here's my crown 👑 It became all about me and how his respect for me is receding. 😂🤣😂 It took me a few days to get my balance because I threw it out the window 🪟 with my bare hands 🤣😂🤣 let me just say, I have a graceful man. I should give him random treats jamani, he's a gem 😂😂😂😂
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I'm learning to tame my words I usually say things when I'm mad but later on I feel guilty, it makes feel really bad about myself.
I love how Murugi can be so raw🥰🥰
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Wueh! Ni vile mumejitolea💖 to bless us with consistent content. Needed this 😍💉to shift focus from TV election results🤦🏿♀️. Nawapenda bure😘🤗
TMI always makes me feel that I made the best decision by leaving that marriage. How I stayed in there for years, I don't know. The night outs and even sleeping out,no calls or nothing....waaah...guys,am shaking. Also,there are so many lessons for when I'm ready for the next relationship (ain't giving up on love),to be better and to know what I want and what I will stand for. I am also here for your facial expressions 😆😆😆
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For us who overthink things ..I can't go to sleep without solving..the sleep wount come..I'll just be thinking and mad the whole time🤦🤦
Are you gonna have baked beans?... or BBBBRRREEEEAAADDDD?" 48:22
😂😂😂😂Lmaooo. that sent me!
Wow! we need such authentic podcast. A topic can be very interesting but when you share personal experiences that can resonate with your audience, trust you me; you have won the hearts of your audience. Love.. love.. you ladies keep the chemistry alive always. You are building homes, We are learning and growing in between your genuine conversations.
My toxic self would see it as a competition, this weekend was him but next weekend it's me, phone off, 2am, nowhere to be seen
1 thing I have learnt from these podcasts is that men are wired so differently from women but as we men we tend to expect them to behave like us. Big conflict
Hey Lyd ... I agree with you.. if you are a naturally passionate person.. it also comes out in conflict.. the passion and intensity can be too much🤣🤣🤣 ... I try to think through my thoughts before I am extreme passionate and regret the harshness hehe..
56 Episoder here🙌 love such topics and especially appreciate Joan's point of view for us married with kids...urg! love you girls❤❤
I loved this episode! A very open, vulnerable, and tremendously helpful conversation. I took away so many helpful tips. My man will thank you! 😂
Like you said most men don't know how to express there feelings so for me I like to ask mostly every week "hey have I done anything that has apset you of late" and with that you find him opening up so much and the relationship becomes very smooth and he also learns that you are a safe space and sometimes you don't even get to ask he just says it. Coz most men don't express because they don't know how you will react
Lol currently having some conflict 😅 this came at the perfect time.. and honestly ladies you've helped me 😅
Another healthy conflict resolution tip would be instead of assuming that your partner didn’t care about you and now telling them that “it clearly shows that you don’t care about me” you instead ask them a question. “Did you consider me when doing 123?” Because now you’re not attacking them and they’re able to come to the realization that they could have done better without all the guilt being placed on them. But like you’ve said somethings are easier said than done. Reaaaaaaaally enjoyed this episode
i can't not love TMI. You guys are doing such an amazing job at raising consciousness at so many different topics that all black African woman deal with. love love love from your Mozambican babe ❤❤❤❤❤❤
I love the way Lydia and Murungi are always open with sharing their experiences with us.
Conflict resolution( mostly with my partner) has not been one of my strengths as most of them have always ended in a break up.
I now can tell why from what you guys have shared and look forward to working on it.
Balancing between the election updates and the new episode! Love this!
It's not easy but we still find the balance 😂😂
Another great topic. Fighting fair and having a language when you know you are about to say something that will hurt the other person. That takes a lot of practice and self awareness.
The pressure was getting worseeeeer 😂😂😂😭 and then TMI 😍😍😍😅
Joan Murugi , you're so dramatic 😂😂😂....I can't stop laughing at your arguments 😂😂
Lemme now go deal with this man 😂😂😂 I'm equippppped 😌😌.
😂😂😂All the best.
We attack 😎
M from Windhoek Namibia and i love you guys soo much. this is soo insightful. Very very relatable and educative... Also it had me in stiches 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 .. Thank you... this on its own is therapy...
I sometimes ask for time to just calm down. I really don't know how to communicate while angry. Also, I agree with setting rules, we did this cause weeeuh, conflicts are there.
I am murugi. Murugi is me I love ❤️ how open you were on this episode keep it up love you girl 🥰
This really came at the perfect time when I'm having a conflict😢.I love the openness that you guys have because it makes us relate more.
But otherwise the episode was just pure comedy😂😂😂.I was laughing 95% of the time and it has actually made me feel better and ready to resolve my conflict in a more mature way this evening.Thankyou TMI❤
I can't imagine someone cracking a joke when I'm raging😂😂... Heads will roll! 😂
I love the honesty in your conversations. This was very insightful and helpful in conflict resolution in relationships. Thank you Lydia and Murugi 💕
Wooooooow... I'm at that point where I'm thinking 🤔 did I get my dad as a partner??
Loved this❤️❤️❤️Murugi your examples THANKS ALOOOOT and Lydia on how you breakdown stuff🔥🔥🔥
This takes me back to your response on that brand PR issue. Girl you're mature. Love you both
This is so powerful I just hope it's always easier done especially for us who have almost all the bad habits of conflict resolution🤦
Wueh, Murugi if my partner told me I am the worst decision they ever made and they hate me I would be out the next day. I know you know, but maybe chill out on such hurtful statements. Especially men swallow their pain and don't speak up till the last day. I appreciate your honesty admitting this on the podcast.
Wednesday my favorite Day 💞 n time to listen to u guy's..be blessed
Wow finally am here 🖐️❤️let's learn from our crazy sisters 😍😍
Wehhhh this is hitting deep aki .... This is such a helpful episode thanks so so much
I think people who insult oyhers while quarreling lack maturity. That insult of physical appearance is the worst.
I love this conversation,I am learning alot about conflict resolution In a mature way
Is Lydia wearing mike's denim jacket??? 👀😂😂...so we are many!!
This come exactly when I needed it the most
Thank you girls
Thank you for this episode ❤️❤️❤️
It's the messy inbtween....I 've learnt a lot #we 're grow thanks you TMI🤗
Watching all the way from South Africa. I love your content, keep up the good work.😍😍
I thoroughly enjoyed and learnt alot from this episode. ❤️
After i ended up as a single mum like my mum i realised i got a baby with a man who is just like my dad : a drunkard, a cheat but am glad am doing well raising my baby girl I hope when i will be ready to date I choose different
Tell me why Jo's openness is relatable and comforting😍😍
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Guys please you are killing me. Please do more weekly uploads the gworls need it!
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Its 12 tuned here always looking forward every wensday ❤❤
I somehow cant understand how your episodes are 1hr+ and I still feel they are too short🙂
There's something like the 5 languages of apology...just like 5languages of love. You guys have touched on them even without labelling them as 5 languages of apology.👏👏👏👏🥰
I am learning ❤️❤️ thank you TMI❤️🥂
You guys are gloooowing😊😊
Not m being hysterical this vry week nd boom TMI wt a conflict resolution episode,,,, sooo in sync
😂😂😂 love love this,iv learnt afew things for sure..
Murugi I love you 🥂 you give pure TMI. Relatable.
I have been at that point where I felt like I had told him something bad and I was being toxic towards him. After an intense conversation on WhatsApp, he called after an hour and I apologize. But he is the one who called
❤️❤️ happy to be here
enjoyed watching this
My man says "I love you baby" during fights. When it gets heated and am still firing my shots and maybe he has apologized but am still trying to put my point across, he says he loves me and then I just melt 🫠. It's adorable and it helps keep me in check.
This is a fantastic episode... 🤗
This was so raw, thanks ladies
the best episode so far because the way i have related to you guys waaah i have a lot to work on and here i thought nimejijua vizuri, back to the drawing boards
The audio is quite low on this video :(
I felt attacked. But still learning a lot.... Thanks ladies for being vulnerable in this show. Its felt very real as usual.
Thank you so much Murugi and Lydia for sharing parts of your life with is in this episode, it's inspiring. I hate that word, 'Relax.' When my husband says it, that's it, I flip. We are arguing and it's something important to me na ninaambiwa nirelax😒
I think, we should at times stop using triggering words. If it's something important to each of us, take time and really listen and internalise cause that's how small things become big.
Loved this episode 💕
Your points are priceless on this but wait until you're trying them with a narcissistic partner and this is recipe for you to run mad🤣😁
From experience, you can never have healthy conflict resolution with a person with narcissistic tendencies. At the core of it, narcissism is shame-based, so you bringing up something that hurt you means you have unearthed a part of them and no longer putting them on a pedestal. Hence the stonewalling/silent treatment, gaslighting or trivializing and then turning tables so you end up apologizing. MENTAL GYMNASTICS!
I don't think I was ready for this episode 😂
I always thought I have healthy habits in solving a conflict but weh that kapart of listening to understand not to respond 😭💔
Lydia that was ezee n natalie on the taking care of the priority first about the rain 😊
Lyd talking about the cursing bit was really funny 😂😂 my biggest control is avoiding words that I can't take back
We don't mind 1hr+, ata 2hrs we are here for it!!!
i love both of you, especially Lydia she is my mentor
Aki I was not ready for this conversation. There is something always stuck to my throat during such moments I almost always end up crying however hard I try not to. I will avoid to try cool down, I will be calculated with my words but somehow...the tears come wueh...
I validate your emotions ❤
U have things in your life that u have not cried about. So when any trigger happens the tears flow. Hooe u have a person who appreciates that u ate an emotional person. Its not a weakness.
I feel like women are expected to perform all the emotional labor in relationships and that's why we end up feeling so frustrated.
I love these women honestly 😂!!!!!! I really learnt loads
I am different, crack a joke. If it's funny, I will instantly calm down for a bit but after that, I will be like "let's resume".
Even breathing is not allowed in a conflict, Murugi😅🤣🤣🤣
😂😂😂😂Lydia is always a vibe
As a man I tend to listen to her coz I learnt I can't compete with my woman during arguments.....
Joan if you think about it that conflict concerning your ovulation, it was a blessing disguise. Cause it wouldn’t have been Tana if it happened that day😁
By the way Lydia as a TCK myself I feel ya!
I love you girls!🥰😍
.."Ati are your feet the only ones that matter..?" 😅😅
Nice episode..great lessons..only hope I can remember to put in practice 🤷♀️
Love you guys 😍😍😍I usually come here to get a dose of reality
The one about making jokes during an argument really hit home😂 weh! Now is when you want to crack a joke or compliment me, no thank you. Back to the matter at hand please sirrrr!!
Also we really need a video with some guys on set for their perspective about conflicts and resolution.
Salamz from Mexico City. Let's do this.....❤️
I love this episode 🤣🤣🤣
I love this Duo....for free ❤️
Love you guys so much...I was laughing at so many points in this video because I could totally relate...we are definitely learning
I always write the points down to discuss later with man's... #tmipodcastke
Take home it's not me v you it's me and you in this thnks murugi 🥰🥰
Always waiting for that notification
Me seateed here knowing I have been here more than 56 times 🤣