🤣 BEST JOKE OF THE DAY! - [Discretion Advised] One day, Bob decided to go to the zoo... | Jokes
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- čas přidán 6. 05. 2024
- BEST JOKE OF THE DAY! - One day, Bob decided to go to the zoo... | Funny Jokes
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👇 THE JOKE 👇
One day, Bob decided to go to the zoo...
When he got to the ape cage, he found himself looking at a big male ape, who was staring right back at him.
When he scratched his head, so did the ape...
Noticing this, Bob decided to have some fun.
So, he started to scratch under his arms and jump around saying "Ooooh, oooh, oooh"...
And so did the ape.
Stopping to think about what to do next, Bob scratched his chin, as he was thinking...
Before he could even react, the ape pulled the bars of his cage apart, jumped the moat, and that was the last thing Bob could remember.
A few weeks later, Bob comes to in a hospital room, and finds himself in full traction...
When they realized that he was finally awake, the staff brought a man into his room, and left the two of them alone.
"Mr. Smith, my name is Albert. I am the zookeeper and I want to see if we can figure out what happened before you were attacked."
"I don't know," replied Bob, "I was watching the ape, and noticed he was mimicking my movements."
"Please tell me exactly what you did," said the zookeeper.
"Well, when I first noticed it, I was scratching my head. Then I noticed he was scratching his head too... "
"So, I started to play around, and I started to scratch my underarm and make "Oooh, oooh" sounds."
"Then what happened?" asked the zookeeper.
"Well, I was trying to think of something else to do, and I think I scratched my chin, which is the last thing I can remember."
"You scratched your chin?! Oh, that explains everything! exclaimed the zookeeper... "
"You see, in ape language, that means 'Screw you'!"
"Thank goodness, because if the attack was unprovoked, we'd have to put him down."
Bob spent another six months in traction...
If you've ever been in a cast, you can only imagine the misery of six months of not being able to move, or even get to that one itch, without someone else's help.
Bob spent the whole time coming up with a plan to get his revenge on that darned ape...
When he's finally released from the hospital, he goes to the local butcher, where he buys a giant polish sausage, and a pair of butcher knives.
He then goes straight to the zoo, and marches up to the ape cage, where he is soon standing face to face with his attacker...
"Remember me?" he asked as he got the ape's attention.
The ape was once again mimicking him...
Bob just smiled, reached into his bag, and tossed a butcher knife into the ape's cage.
When the ape picked it up, Bob got his attention, by holding his own knife high, while he reached into his pants, and pulled the polish sausage out through the fly...
Just as he expected, the ape mimicked him, holding his knife high, holding his privates in his other hand.
Seeing this, Bob sliced down with his big butcher knife, cutting the polish sausage in half...
Bob looked up smugly to see the ape's reaction.
The ape was staring right back at him...
Scratching his chin.
#Jokes #DadJokes #Humor #Funny #LOLJokes #Comedy #Standup #FunnyVideo #CleanJokes - Komedie
An Amish man and his son were in the big city for the first time. They went into a skyscraper. They stood in front of an elevator and saw the big steel doors. The son asked, "Father, what is that?" The father said, "Son, I have no idea." Just then a big, fat woman in a wheelchair rolls up to the elevator. She pushes the buttons, the elevator door open. She rolls into the elevator. The father and son watch the doors close. They see the numbers on the elevator light up in order as it travels up. The elevator stops, and starts to come down. The father and son watch as the numbers light up, in reverse order, as the elevator comes down. When the elevator stops, and the doors open, a beautiful blonde woman walks out of the elevator. The Amish father looks at his son and says, "Quick son, go get your momma!"
I think I have heard THAT one B4!!!! on you tube too!! STILL, ROF LMAO tho ( tho it was a hillbilly father and HIS son)!!
That's an old one.... Probably been done.
Oh man....
That was a good one!!!!!
Thanks David! 😀
That was funny. I might need to use that ape language around someone. They will think my chin itches, but if they really knew. Great voices😅🦧
Thanks Kimberly! 😀
The way I heard it, the gesture that set off the ape was a wink. Doesn't matter, of course.
I stopped when he sliced the polish sausage i don't want to know what happened i have been an avoider of tv shows that show nasty dumb stuff as a kid . Bye bye ❤🙊🙉🙈🍀💚🌟💚🍀
Spoiler alert: The ape just scratched his chin... 😂