Discomfort Is The Price Of Admission To A Meaningful Life
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- čas přidán 10. 09. 2024
- Susan David, Ph.D is an award-winning psychologist on faculty at Harvard Medical School and author of the #1 WSJ bestseller, "Emotional Agility".
This is a conversation about why we must overcome the urge to ignore difficult emotions and develop this skill called emotional agility -- because the tough emotions are the price we pay for a meaningful life.
Susan is amazing. I'm grateful for this dynamic conversation. And my hope is that you will find it as helpful and entertaining as I did.
Enjoy!
✌🏼🌱 - Rich
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Hi I'm Rich Roll. I'm a vegan ultra-endurance athlete, author, podcaster, public speaker & wellness evangelist at large. But mainly I'm a dad of four. If you want to know more, the NY Times wrote some nice things"
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"Tough emotions are part of our contract with life" 🤯
So meaningful and true...
Just delete "contract" please. "Tough emotions are part of life"...simple, direct, true.
I’m a South African living in Iceland and I SO ENJOYED this show. I’m so proud to be South African when I listen to awesome people like Susan. Thanks, Rich!
I'm Australian living in Colombia - I thought "is she south african? yep! Be an expert in your field! Go! We need more podcasts like this
Who else heard her accent and immediatly got excited and proud that she's South African
yes about how emotions are seen as 'disruptive, feminine, irrational, illogical' - -- particularly empathise with the 'feminine' in that. I hate that to be emotionally attuned is to be seen as weak somehow, and a consequence of my femininity, rather than being seen as a skill which can be useful
Sure but your emotions should not end up affecting anyone else negatively.
The KEY VALUES that we ALL have, are what drive our behaviors. So it is important that we become AWARE of these values. Although that simple statement sounds INDETERMINATE and even VAGUE, that is generally how long a comment is ALLOWED by most readers during these days of self-imposed Attention Deficit Disorder. Peace and LOVE everyone. God bless us all.
This makes a lot of sense.
That being said, there comes a point in which negative emotions become counterproductive. The point of being bored or lonely is that you get forced out of your comfort zone and seek what you need, not so much dwell in the misery.
Of course overwhelmig positive emotions can also turn you into a self-centered manic narcissist, which can be equally destructive, but this is much rarer.
One of my favourite RR podcasts. love it.
Buy the book - Emotional Agility, Susan David.
David Goggins should be spliced in to every podcast where someone says willpower is overrated.
He is the man who made willpower gr8 again. even though it's less sustainable than habit
@@TheBlueskyson perfectly well said
Very insightful. Thank you Rich Roll for being so engaged with the subject matter. A great interview.
Too often South Africans talk a lot of smack on apartheid, but they are the first to "peace out homie" when the country gets turned into the "rainbow nation".
I think it is great that the person being interviewed went against the tide and stayed in South Africa to help bolster the new sharing of power there!
I SEE YOU!
The quality of your thoughts determines the quality of your life.
Born with no limbs? Quality of thought fixes that right up! ...STFU.
No : ''a thought is just a thing'' -Rich Roll in this very same video
Rich and Susan, I loved this podcast, you two are wonderful together, beautiful insights, thank you!
Sustainable change happens when there's motivation because something is important to us 🥰❤️
wow,what a lovely woman,.....i watched this episode and i started to write on the computer things which bother me emotionaly as iam going tru shift,....untill i watched this i tought these things are hapening only to me and nobody understands but now i see iam not the only one going tru this and understand that world is full of this stuff and finaly in a long time i could see my self clearly cos iam having a lot of this issues at the moment...,i think iam gonna save this episode so i can rewatch it again in future when another mind attack happens or when iam feeling week emotionaly :-P
Emotions are not good or bad. But they can be 'helpful' or 'unhelpful'
Virtually every minute of this podcast added value to my life. And I agree Susan David is stunning!
All the principles are based on ACT - Acceptance commitment Therapy by Stephen Haynes .
What an absolutely beautiful conversation!!!! Well done! Thank you so much✨❤️
When you need to work out what your values are, at the end of the day ask: What did I do today that was worthwhile? which should hopefully lead to an answer.
Maybe I'll read her book as well, ,but I prefer the Groggins-style motivation. I told my best friend in Melbourne to ring me every day when he went to bed to make sure I was up and running! He's too nice. Meanwhile he's doing Wim Hof ice baths I said ""Yell at me!"
Pro-tip record your friend yelling at you and set it as an alarm. Better yet record yourself yelling at you.
"SEEK DISCOMFORT"
@@Lia-hd7rh Yes, it's handling the negative as a lesson and even a motivator to just carry on. I guess that's what the saying "Embrace the suck" is about.
My relationship with my mother improved once I improved my emotional agility.
S
hmm haven't listened to the show yet will on my road trip tomorrow. This mum desperate to improve my relationship with my daughter. Never would have thought in a million years it would be this weird and painful. Sigh
Absolutely!! Growing up with emotional abuse from a narcissistic mother, I would never have guessed as a child that the healing would be all up to me eventually. I'm such a hero to that little girl now.
An absolutely brilliant, so many moments of clarity and insight, one being changing the 'have to' to what do 'i want to,' values aligned being a sustainable motivation for real change. The way Susan enlists real life examples, for rich to mirror, provide quality nsight. A Helpful and truly engaging interview sharing. Thank you.
Check out David Goggins if you haven’t already
YES, this
Brilliant insight into key aspects of our emotions and thoughts. It is a powerful and challenging blueprint, worth working on, difficult too.
She’s Beautiful
This is an incredibly informative interview! This spoke to me on many levels. Both Susan and Rich have many good points,. Thank you for this.🙏🏾❤️
All great stuff! These conversations are so fundamental.
I really agree
A brilliant conversation...taken notes...and she is lovely
God bless U and thank U for sharing 🙏
Really enriching conversation! Thank you ❤❤
I’m obsessed with this interview. Thank you so much for having her as a guest. I just finished reading Willpower Doesn’t Work by Benjamin P. Hardy. Really reminds of this convo. Thanks Rich.
Beautifully said! ❤
I agree that between stimulus and response we have a choice on what we say and do, but the physiological response and our nervous system response after a stimulus is automatic. The definition of response needs to be clarified here.
Really needed this message today. Thanks so much!
Thank you Dr Davis for your wisdom. I will be getting your book.
Love the discussion about the tyranny of positivity...
on the beauty of journals, and looking our emotions in the face 🍹🍹🍹🍹🍹
We have to suffer at times for true meaning
Really liked this.. Beautiful jems here.. The beauty and fragility of life go hand in hand. Witness your old story in your new situation and know it's not your identity.
Seeking discomfort to me is still a very premature, generalized idea. Most people who are struggling in their lives are already in a state of discomfort. People need a more practical road map towards achievement, and one that doesn't rely on limitations of motivation.
There have to be practical habits and steps to take and some form of faith that things will work out in the end. Blindly walking into "discomfort" just for the sake of it won't yield much because you still don't have a path. It has to be purposeful & intentful discomfort... a stepping stone towards something greater.
Great video ! I've been doing some Shadow work and this talk really compliments the work I've been doing and realizations I've made. Ty Cheers!
Much of this is all from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy - this has all been said before...Emotional Agility is another word for psychological flexibility. We hurt where we care - and values within emotional pain is all pure ACT......and originates from Steve Hayes, Kelly Wilson ---and the books of Russ Harris etc "The Happiness Trap". . Bits of DBT also (radical acceptance|) nothing original, whatsoever - but those ideas are very well expressed here . And I do have her book, yet to read though
Yes!! Yes!! Yes!!!
@@boobymamma1877 So why does she not mention where these ideas originate? What I find irritating is that Susan seems to want to claim all this herself - and not mention or refer to where it all originates. Why not mention Russ Harris, Steven Hayes etc.
A Person I agree...she talks like she is fascinated with her own discovery...I wonder if she cites Hayes etc in the actual book.
@@boobymamma1877 Yes she presents this as if it is all self-generated and insight from self, - but none of it is. Just be honest and mention who collaborated and worked out the 6 core processes of ACT, and also Russ Harris books (The Happiness Trap) , who is one of ACT's brilliant communicators.. Somewhat a little disingenuous perhaps, but as said very well communicated.
You guys sound strangely deaf and self righteous.
She says multiple times that she did research. Stating clearly that you've done research of studies is the opposite of claiming that you came up with all the ideas by yourself.
i completely identify with what she says. i can't wait to read her book
I got a lot out of this conversation. I started journaling again. I need to make sense of my emotions and change my patterns and move forward. It is okay to figure it out and make sense of it all. I need to help myself. Ask myself what I want. or what should I do.
Lori. it's ok 2 b feminine. ty
@@TheBlueskyson What does that have to being feminine? Acknowledging your emotions are for men too or you could just continue to drink and do drugs what ever your addiction.
ty
Thank you for posting
Amazing. Thanks so much for this beautiful gift Rich and Susan.
Get Mr. Money Mustache on the podcast! You two would have a great conversation!
Yes!!!!!!
Qualities of action mmmm yes...............I feel that looking/describing them as experiences helps me understand better rather than calling them stories just saying ...........Thanks Rich Susan...Quality.......
Absolutely life changing, thank you both!
Our values are qualities of action. I like that!
Awesome podcast! Thanks Rich and Susan :)
Another amazing and informative podcast 😊🙏💚
When you ignore bad emotions and pretend to be happy,they actually get stronger....They are doing push ups in the dark LOL at Rich
This is a very western world view. If you give your thoughts meaning then they will generate the emotion based on the thoughts you associate with them. Thoughts are just thoughts....they mean nothing until you decided they do.
@@adamanderson225 That ignores all we know. What you think about is where you end up. Rubbish.
@@jimicunningable no negative emotions can be stored in our unconscious and subconscious. They can manifest in all sorts of psychosomatic diseases and physical symptoms such as migraines, insomnia .and ulcers.
I think what you guys are trying to say is that whether you have a good or bad emotion or what you deem or what you have judged as a good or bad emotion it is an emotion nonetheless and if it is good or bad it doesn't mean that you should not permit it to be in your moment in your space I'm not one to deny good or bad because they definitely is good emotions and bad emotions ultimately it does come down to your own subjective judgment but generally people understand what is good and what is bad this Duality is here so that we can gauge what is actually good and bad but like I said it does not mean that it should not process good is there to be something to attain to bad is something that needs to be augmented or to be transcended from the nature of bad is to transcend into good but it does not mean that you should not identify with acknowledge or accept the bad for without those attributes of acknowledgment and acceptance you will never transcend from the bad to the good
Great conversation! Thank you both.
Very powerful----
Thanks, Rich, for all you are doing!
And, thanks to Susan for bringing this info out!!
Just ordered her book!
Great video content! I really really appreciate the value add content! Social contagion is a real thing where we catch behaviors and emotions from other people.
What a great talk guy's I got so much value from this
Fantastic talk. I've been struggling with the Victor Frankl gap for years. Another good reference is Alice Miller. Thanks!
Great thoughts.
Very charming woman.
Excellent podcast and very helpful THANK YOU!
Happy I came across this today! So helpful.
Emotions are natural yes, however one of the biggest problems of our time is the way emotions are manipulated, synthetically fomented, then channeled into unhealthy and dangerous streams by the ruling class and it's various media outlets. Emotional simulacra that are then picked up by social-influencers who then amplify them, which then create reactionary mental and physical confrontations in society, which are then rewarded by the same malignant system that generated their inception.
I am just having this same (similar) conversation with my son. Super spooky. :-) Thanks for all you do Rich Roll!!!!
Soo much truth talk ❤
Very timely .. lovely work .. . .. many thanks !!!
Rich, any way you can put your podcast on Spotify?
Fantastic Show! I may watch it again! 😂
Take a drink every time she uses the phrase "my work." You'll be too drunk to finish the interview!
Lol
Great interview. You should do Eckhart Tolle too. M gracias.
This is fantastic and so real.
Wow!!!! What a powerful & insightful interview!!!
Love the podcast set up! Looks dope! Talk to your boy JJ and get him on the podcast train!
Very nice listen. The conversation surrounding emotional rigidity reminds me a lot of a concept coming from Dr. Dan Siegel about health being synonymous with the flow of energy and information down a 'river' toward integration of experiences, thoughts and emotions. The detractors of integration lie on either shoreline as rigidity or chaos. Have you ever encountered any of his work? His book Mindsight is my favorite this far. Cheers, Rich.
doing push-ups in the dark!!!!!! perfect!!!!
I tell everyone that bothers listening that I am in emotional pain. It only results in people not messaging me back.
So much easier to understand slowed down to .75 speed. Why do people have to talk so fast?
I've been watching with 1.25 speed lol
Try to watch with uncomofortable speed of 1.25 and when you return to normal speed after 5-10 min it will seem slower than before 🐢
Leda Swan, are you a native English speaker? If you're not, it would be understandable that you find their speech a bit fast. But it would be truly weird if you turn out to be a native speaker.
She's fantastic.
Oh God she's beautiful !
Dr David!!!!
Great guest
the hamstring - where the agony lies most of all ☃️☃️☃️☃️
Great talk !
Wonderful discussion 👍
Thank you.
Fantastic conversation!
Make new comfort zones.
Alan Watts - genius.
totally agree...
Golden ✨
IM 68 AND IM ANGRY ALL THE TIME AND PISSED OFF ABOUT THIS OR THAT ON ANY GIVEN DAY AND WHEN i GET MY YEARLY CHECKUP MY DOC TELLS ME i HAVE THE HEALTH OF A 35/ 40 YR OLD.. KISS MY ASS
thank you!
Great interview, nice conversation, sometimes people being interviewed don't let you speak!
If you give meaning to emotion if you give them association with your thoughts and give them meaning that is when you lose control. Thoughts are just that thoughts. It when you give them meaning you create the emotions healthy or unhealthy.
Like this
Love the shirt Rich #kalepower
💓
the impractical fix is ever so elusive 😇
beautiful woman