Just want to let you know that this series of videos talking about topics that are important to you is a great series. I hope you continue to make these kinds of videos, if you wish. Thanks, Daniel.
You just perfectly verbalized Alexithymia. This and ADHD are VERY common traits of neurodivergent people and especially comedians who live their whole lives observing and connecting details and patterns in the external realm in a very logical and unbiased but somewhat detached sense so they are out of touch with their own emotions to the point they don't understand themselves, what they want or who they are and feel disconnected from other people.
Thanks for this... as a fellow adhder, I've spent so much of my life in that 'bird's eye' position of being able to see all sides of everything, and I think it's because most neurodivergent people are just better at seeing connections and patterns, which makes us more empathetic or at least more in tune with the bigger picture. But it also makes it harder to understand how we really feel about stuff, and what we really want, and I think this becomes compounded by the fact that we're so driven to and by distractions, that we bury ourselves in external input without ever stopping to consider how this affects our internal self. I've been struggling with this for such a long time, and this is the first time I've heard someone else verbalize the thought, and actually tell me what to do about it. Thanks for the honesty, Daniel -- your humor has never failed to entertain me, but this really hit home for me in a way I didn't know I needed.
What you're talking about is not necessarily honesty. That's a part of it. But what you're describing is called Authenticity. Being true to yourself. Being authentic. It's something that a lot of people simply don't know how to do. I'm glad you've been able to figure it out!
I had the privilege of learning this same concept at the age of 21. I moved from San Antonio Texas (a very large city) to a tiny town of less than 10k people in Wisconsin. I've been living here for almost 2 years, and it almost forced me to learn this lesson. I had a lot of late nights that turned into mornings, thinking about my life. I was very very lost when I moved up here, no job, no friends, no idea what to do, and no drivers license to top it all off. I was stuck at home, and at the time I didn't mind it because I had already spent a lot of my time online. One of the biggest reasons I was able to find this out was a passion I have for the brain. I spent a lot of time thinking about how I felt about things. and then I quickly got addicted to that feeling. Its a cathartic, cleansing feeling when you figure how who you are. I have gotten to the point of wanting to journal, which was the result of your previous video on isolation. Journaling has created such a new view of introspection and a great way to almost rinse my brain at the end of the day (I journal right before bed). Honesty has almost become a point of pride for myself, because I found out that if you can be honest with your peers, and more importantly yourself, a lot of things fall into place. You feel happier, more in tune with yourself, and more at peace. I also got a book called 59 Seconds by Richard Wiseman that I would highly recommend for all. Its page after page of psychological research on several important pieces of life, such as happiness, persuasion, and motivation. I got a little sidetracked, but my point stands with yours. I can name a dozen things I've stopped doing for the better once I took the time to learn myself.
This was unironically very nice to watch. I sympathise a lot, not just because I also have ADHD, but because I've ignored a lot of important things in my life. I've already started on the path to doing what makes me happy, but this video is both confirmation and gives me a bit of a fresher perspective on it. Thank you for making this video, Daniel!
This was a great video for a lot of reasons but the biggest takeaway for me is that I need to finally get myself an ADHD diagnosis because my god you formulate and verbalize thoughts exactly the same way I do
pretty sure i have adhd. people that seem creative, entertaining and fun to me.... or people i get along with quickly... usually have adhd. (i didn't think there was any way he couldn't be, not with the flight of ideas, and the creativity and stuff. you almost need that kind of brain to fuel this high level. and having a staff? helpful to fill in the gaps, dropped balls, and just get the ship sailing smooth.)
Still watching, but I do appreciate the importance of standing by how you feel with confidence. Recently I've taken to being more firm in my views (not resistant to new info, but confident in what I care and am passionate about) and I've found it to help me feel more grounded in reality. There are still some things I need to decide and reflect on, but thank you for being genuine and having this direct conversation. Even though you spoke to a camera, I hope those who watch through the camera's lens can draw value from what you've shared.
Dude i could listen to you talk for hours about real, life things like this. Thank you for taking this little "side path" i guess on youtube for this channel, i know some people might not like it, so too bad for them. but others like myself, will enjoy and respect these videos sooo much. and i also love your other videos, too ofc ;)
Just recently broke up with my partner for exactly this, to be able to find myself and knowing that I would change because of it. Seeing this vid right now really gave me a good feeling about my decision, as well as knowing that I'm not alone in finding myself, which helps a lot too. So, thank you for this honesty Daniel.
"for those of you who have been serially monogamous" is a sentence that makes me so happy because, to me, it says that you are aware of and not judging other types of relationship dynamics. Thanks ❤
3 pages is a lot Daniel, and somehow writing a page of a script can often feel as laborious as writing a page of a novel! Or it can go by in a breeze. Keep making art, Daniel!
I'm thankful for these types of videos from Daniel. It's pretty rare that you hear someone's internal monologue like this; parents, books, that's pretty much it. Frankly, being able to hear the perspective of someone who lives a completely different life than me brings a tear to my eye. It reminds me we're human and that we can all grow and change no matter who we are. Sorry for the deep comment, but thank you Daniel for continuing to post these types of videos.
I genuinely found this super insightful and helpful. I've been going through a tough time this year so I made the decision to move halfway across the country early next year and get a fresh start all by myself. This video really helped solidify things. I know it's going to be the right decision no matter what happens because I need to be able to work on myself separately from anyone else. I truly could listen to Daniel talk about this for hours, I find it so interesting
KNOWLEDGE AND APPLICATION! I completely understand. I KNOW I overshare constantly. I KNOW I don’t want that part of my personality solidifying as I go through my 20s. But the application of what I know I want to change is so very difficult 😑
yep exactly. Especially since with adhd, you're basically fighting a child, and wrestling to take control of the wheel, but the child somehow pretty much always wins. That's how it is for me anyways. It's so easy to say to someone "oh well just take 20 mins of your day to clean up" or to sleep early, eat less, eat more, play less, drink more water, stop doomscrolling, etc. Yet it's so much harder to actually apply that to yourself, because you virtually have zero control over the things that other people may have control over. and being told to do and improve on those things you already know of is even a bigger deterrent to actually do what you need to do because you feel like that decision was made for you and not by you, and it's no longer a choice, but a demand and by following up on what they said is giving up your own control over your situation. And when told to do something that you're already doing or to do something differently also creates the same "well now I don't want to do it anymore, caus you ruined it" feeling. (oh btw, I'm not assuming you also have adhd, just that oversharing is a pretty common symptom and by talking about my own experiences is how I relate to people haha)
I just started realizing I do have feelings about things and can try to act on them 3 years ago! I really appreciate you talking about how new it can feel. I sometimes feel embarrassed or angry that no one showed me how to do this earlier in my life. But I feel in good company that a lot of us are figuring this out now. Kinda huge.
I am also a 30 year old man who's doing pretty well for himself and is struggling to be honest with/of himself... I don't know what I'm going to do about it yet but thanks for sharing.
As a fellow creative person, I'm really loving your takes on these topics. It's cool to hear your personal experiences with these issues as an ADHD creative person because I can relate with you a ton, and it's very inspiring. Keep up the great work dude!
I just want you to know that I needed to hear this. Been having a rough year and been going through a lot. Being in the state that you were talking about is hard for me to comprehend sometimes. Hearing someone else going through the process I have been trying to do, hearing someone else going through struggles, it makes me feel like I can get through it when it is hard. Thank you for your wise words and your funny videos.
I am in a similar situation right now and had similar thoughts in the last months. I never learned how to be myself, when it's just me, no other person in this world involved. Where do I wanna go? What is important to ME? What do I support, what do I fight for? Being opinionated in a relationship means to argue about stuff, and I tried to minimize that. Now I realize what I deprived myself of. It takes courage to be yourself, but really getting to know yourself is awesome.
I’ve been loving this whole series. I’ve been thinking about similar things recently, and not only do you verbalize some general thoughts I’ve been having, but I also get a slight feeling of connection BECAUSE you’re out there verbalizing the thoughts I’ve been having (if that makes sense?). It feels really nice to take a minute to reflect along WITH someone, rather than just on my own all the time (even though of course some self-reflection time is good).
Daniel, this video hits so close to home. Being real with myself and discovering what I want and why I want it and then trying to portray what I want in the world through myself is exactly what I've been focusing on in life right now. I love that you made this video and was so real to us. It helps me a lot to see another person going through the exact same thought process as me right now. I love all your content and am really happy you could share this with us!!! ❤❤❤
Dude... it was 5 years ago when I was 36 when I sat down and "figured it out" (btw, there's never a single moment that everything perfectly crystalizes, it's a continuing endeavor); but every day forward from then is so much better *and easier* since I can have that honest discussion with myself on what I need and how I want to approach addressing it. Kudos to you for starting on that path!
the way that every now and then there's this like interesting thoughtful video like I was just watching a compilation of you trying to pronounce the name of a lake for like 30 seconds what is this duality
I found this out myself just now(im 19) and im so glad that someone is in the same situation. Ive been feeling very disconnected or disassociated with myself. I couldn’t even name 10 things i like and dont like. I loved that you are opening up and it is very validating to me. Thank you daniel❤
i related so much about the bird in the sky thing!! i was proud of seeing both sides of arguments, "everyone's action makes perfect sense" and there's no opinion that feels... grounding. and i was proud of the detachment - it felt mature, but in that state i just can't be motivated by anything because they don't feel objectively interesting enough.
Dude, this is very helpful and so accurate. I'm a psych major and one of my counseling classes has been focusing on the idea that you can never take your client farther than you've gone, so getting to know myself has been a journey I've been on for the past couple of months. On this journey, I was completely shocked at how little I actually knew about myself. I'm learning to be honest and be okay with liking certain things and disliking others. The journey is very worth it! Thank you for being open and honest!
I wish I could like this video twice!! This is exactly what I've been learning lately, as well. It's so hard when you've grown up as a people-pleaser, especially, to know what you like and don't like and to know that it's OKAY and GOOD to have opinions or to have a different perspective than those around you. Thank you for sharing this, it's exactly what I wish I heard earlier in life; hopefully it helps a lot of people
Daniel, I can not tell you how much I needed these exact words. I had a similar “simple” epiphany last week as well, but this particular practice is just what I need. I’m now mere weeks away from getting my degree in fashion design and applying for jobs presently, and I’ve found myself falling into the mindset that “I’ll take what I can get” career wise, when I should be on the opposite end! I’ve always been an opinionated person, and that’s what’s driven me to creative greatness. My professor and peers were talking about The Artist’s Way just a few weeks ago, but you’ve implemented it in a way that I know I’ll find immensely helpful. Thank you.
I very much relate to this. Learning these two things. Challenging yourself. your beliefs, & opinions. Choosing a side and knowing why you chose it. Being willing to have been wrong. Listening to yourself & your body. Noticing the signals your body sends before they become extreme. Notice how you feel. Then using that information to make decisions. Love the group therapy. The kitty definitely gave some great points.
This brings together so many things I've been noticing and reading about authenticity recently. Thank you for joining a lot of the dots for me, this is a great video on the topic.
I think it's really cool to see someone, in the social media spotlight, doing something important for the viewers and themselves. To get real about it and share things that could very well help people is thoughtful and shows care for your fellow humans. Much love and respect man.
okay so daniel….thank you man. Like seriously…you are SO right. I always loved your videos because they connected to me in a strange way idek and now hearing you talk about EXACTLY how i feel is like an eye opener to me. You showed me that i cannot keep living this way. And i know that as well but i just cant seem to act upon it. Its like a trap i cant get out of. I know its not right , i know im ruining my future as well as my health because of how monotonous my life has become. Im always like “oh well okay lets just go with that”. never had my own opinion. always let my stupid thoughts and wants guide me. i want to change i really want to. im 17 years old and 2 years of my school life were RUINED by covid. it reallyyy f’ed me up. I literally started ignoring my responsibilities and just started killing time. I still have that mentality that i have all the time in the world and im in school i just need to complete my syllabus and pass , next class , study , next class and now im in the last year of school. Im just so lost idk what to do with myself. I cant focus on one thing, always getting distracted by the devices. See these smart phones and gadgets are a curse as much they are a blessing. Sometimes i just wish these didn’t exist and my life would be much better and sometimes im just so grateful for these. Ive realised that the fault is within me. I need to fix myself. I want to get back on track and realise im not a kid anymore. Hell , ill be an adult next year. So i just want to say , thank you. This was like a push i knew i needed but didnt know how. I really hope i can ignore my selfish wants and focus on my future. It seems difficult as most of the time has run out but I’ll try.
Yeah man! Tell it! I've been taking time off to figure out what I like to do and then developing it as a habit and bringing it into my day. Journaling has been helpful to me by separating the static from good data that I can build on. It's really cool to hear what you're doing, and how your reflective processes took you to Germany. Thanks for this video!
I've always been afraid of actually figuring out how I work, what I like, and what makes me tick, I don't even know how to start. I needed this as a little kick in the pants tho, thanks man
I appreciate your vulnerability and genuine authenticity communicating with your audience. We are all on a journey and it's great to hear how others are traveling.
You're describing what some therapists call "living in alignment with your values"! Something that sounds so simple but can be quite difficult to do because of so many factors such as societal expectations, social conditioning, personal history... and often times simply lack of knowledge of oneself - ie not knowing the "compass" exists or what it says. Really cool that you figured this out while traveling! Thanks for the vid is a good reminder for myself as well!
One of those videos where you see the right thing at the right time. The honesty of yourself was really useful to hear, because lately I've been good at the honesty with myself but not the follow-through. Thanks for sharing something so vulnerable!
After crying through my entire therapy session today, this video is actually quite timely. I came to a very similar conclusion. I also totally agree not knowing where to steer the ship is incredibly anxiety inducing!
Last month during spring break, I had a mental breakdown. I started EMT school and realized it wasn't the right path for me. But I didn't know what I'd do. All the while, I was writing pages upon pages of notes for the books I want to create. I felt so stupid for not realizing this beforehand. I CANNOT imagine my life without ever writing again. It's just the hand I was dealt. It's part of who I am on the inside, and a way I can externalize myself/share with others. I'm not the greatest communicator so I always find myself writing letters in the middle of arguments or panick attacks to whoever I'm speaking to. And then after all is said(or written) and done, I use these instances to write stories, songs, and poems. Sometimes I feel like there's something wrong with me, that I shouldn't be thinking about fiction in the middle of reality. But really, it's what helps me understand the world.
Whitey was just being honest of himself there, meowing his heart out, lol! He was listening to your advice. You may have just realised that being honest to and of yourself is very important, but I want you to know that from what you share (both your comedy, and your more personal content) I can say you're one of the most true-to-self creators I know. You're definitely on the right track! I hope you never stop making videos like these❤
thanks, this actually helped a bit. For awhile ive felt as if ive been stuck in a never ending loop and i have no idea what i want to do with myself and my life. (im young and i have to make VERY Important decisions soon) Its stressful and exhausting to think about and honestly i avoid thinking about it, but life keeps going, im not making any progress and i tell myself everything is ok just to stay calm and continue the loop. Its ok to to stop moving for a second and think "hey, is this making me happy? do i wanna keep doing this?" I love videos like this, they help a lot. :)
Thank you for sharing your experience. As a person with ADHD, I have such a hard time following through with what I know will make my life functional and happier. This is such a good reminder that putting in that effort is to take care of me, not hide some "dysfunction"
Appreciate this. Writing has been very fulfilling for me each morning, or the mornings that I do it (most days) even if it's just gratitude, priorities, notes, to-do, ideas etc.
This was honestly really helpful; introspection doesn't come easily to me, no longer because i dont want to look and analyze myself, but because I'm not good at it. This was a great reminder that it doesnt have to be overwhelming, that it kust takes looking at one thing at a time.
ive been struggling so much lately which i need to j accept and come to terms that people wanna support me and yk daniel i j wanna thank you for this. im glad u figured this out for yourself and that uve shared it.
I've been slowly moving towards the whole, leaning how to be honest of myself over the past year. Great to hear that I'm heading in the right direction, thanks for the talk :)
This was enlightening. The funny thing about realizations like this is that they seem very obvious when you come to them, but it takes a lot of thought to put those simple words together. So thank you for sharing your thoughts here so eloquently and simply.
Glad you had a good time in Germany and that you kept on it with the artist's way (I never finished doing the book). This was a nice video to listen to and was advice I needed to hear.
I hear ya. The more our choices and actions are out of alignment with our authentic self, the more hollow and unfulfilled we feel. And a key part of being able to live authentically, is setting boundaries with anything or anybody in our life that makes us betray ourselves too often.
I learned a lot of new things based on this video! It helped shift a new understanding of honesty and I'm super glad I clicked on this video. Thank you for taking the time to talk about your thoughts! :D
These are some good thoughts. In particular, you hit on the idea that we simultaneously discover who we are and we also test out that version of ourself with the world. Often, who we think we are feels amorphous because we simply lack the social context in which to evaluate that version of ourselves. The feedback we get from the internet about ourselves is so heavily skewed towards the edges: "you're amazing" and "you're the worst". I do think that people used to do self-discovery more in the context of their social relationships, and being honest about that fact will help people to see why these journeys of self-discovery seem so difficult now. People used to define their identities and opinions as they saw how they fit into the group. They knew what they thought because they knew what the group thought and where they fit into that. In essence, people thought less about "who am I" because they saw that as the job of the group, not a personal quest. Sometimes trying to 'find yourself' without the context of social relationships is like trying to decide which spot in the ocean you like best. It's always moving and there aren't any landmarks to stake yourself to. But that isn't to say that we must find our whole identity in other people. It's that by having a stable social group, we are better able to understand ourselves, our opinions, and find purpose in our lives. It bears remembering, when we speak of 'finding ourselves', what we usually mean is 'where do I fit into all of this', which really is about identifying our self+others, not some abstract identity that I somehow possess outside of the rest of the world. If we lack meaningful social connections, if we lack a 'clan' so to speak, many aspects of life feel uncertain. We can run around diagnosing each feeling of directionlessness, but it's unlikely to treat the root issue if social connection is what we lack. In our modern world, we have many new ways to connect, but we still must consider what the quality and nature of those connections is to know whether it is really meeting our needs to belong to others.
tbh im just kinda stoked there's another channel. DT has those vibes of someone you just wanna hang out with and talk to. plus, deep introspection AND humor abilities? top 10 gold tier. (thanks for sharing, man.)
I think a lot of times we harm our young men by teaching them to deny any emotional state other than anger. Seeing you giving yourself this space to explore your inner emotional world (and share it with others) is wonderful. Edited to add- and by emotional space I'm referring to self identification. Which is an aspect of emotional maturity.
Thank you thank you thank you Daniel. I know you said it kinda sounded dumb and obvious but for me that was a game changer. I’m on the verge of tears writing down everything you said ab how to be honest of yourself. I’ve struggled with ADD and for some reason this has helped me more than anything anyone else has said
hahaha, I've been planning a trip to Germany to do the same thing. Your revelation makes so much sense, I feel like you've saved me a bunch of time, and given me a good starting off point when I go on my own trip.
I believe you can do this in a relationship but that relationship needs open honest communication in its entirety. Setting aside the proper amount of time to re-evaluate real wants and needs and allowing those to change (yes that is okay) and having an agreement and baseline with your partner will get you to similar revelations. After which - you need to work with them to establish your needs outside of the relationship. I am glad you have found your perspective and are reinvigorated!
I love how Daniel is just a metronome ticking between silly sketches and serious "we have to talk" vibe talks.
I love how Daniel is just a ticking metronome
@@moonylizard Daniel never fails to tick
ikr
@@Cloeagatinha yeah true fair point
You mean ADHD?😂
Just want to let you know that this series of videos talking about topics that are important to you is a great series. I hope you continue to make these kinds of videos, if you wish. Thanks, Daniel.
seeing you youngsters figure adult things out as you all hit your 30s is really heartwarming :)
Its mind blowing. Happy for them.
We fly the next at 20 obviously we’re gonna figure shit out at 30.. having kids at 40 would be a better idea than most modern parents think.
sweet comment, thank you
I was just in Japan for a week. I recommend it.
Sounds like a good idea
maybe if i was poor
nice
Was there any particular thing that you found to be more memorable during your time in Japan?
I agree! Japan is one of my favourite places to go in all the world! its so relaxing too
You just perfectly verbalized Alexithymia. This and ADHD are VERY common traits of neurodivergent people and especially comedians who live their whole lives observing and connecting details and patterns in the external realm in a very logical and unbiased but somewhat detached sense so they are out of touch with their own emotions to the point they don't understand themselves, what they want or who they are and feel disconnected from other people.
Thanks for this... as a fellow adhder, I've spent so much of my life in that 'bird's eye' position of being able to see all sides of everything, and I think it's because most neurodivergent people are just better at seeing connections and patterns, which makes us more empathetic or at least more in tune with the bigger picture. But it also makes it harder to understand how we really feel about stuff, and what we really want, and I think this becomes compounded by the fact that we're so driven to and by distractions, that we bury ourselves in external input without ever stopping to consider how this affects our internal self. I've been struggling with this for such a long time, and this is the first time I've heard someone else verbalize the thought, and actually tell me what to do about it.
Thanks for the honesty, Daniel -- your humor has never failed to entertain me, but this really hit home for me in a way I didn't know I needed.
Fantastic insights from you Soylilly. I’m a recently diagnosed ADHDer and what you say really resonates!
@@katharineshade9550 thank you, and congrats on the diagnosis! 💛
This is spot on!
What you're talking about is not necessarily honesty. That's a part of it. But what you're describing is called Authenticity. Being true to yourself. Being authentic. It's something that a lot of people simply don't know how to do. I'm glad you've been able to figure it out!
Most honest person I’ve ever seen
Daniel should start a podcast.
can we get 5 more hours of you talking into a mic about anything and everything?
All of the time?
@@ethannorton564 a little bit of everything? All of the time?
@@AJThePotato Apathy's a tragedy and boredom and a crime.
@@ethannorton564 anything and everything... All of the time.
@@demzionmain not very long ago, just before your time.
I had the privilege of learning this same concept at the age of 21. I moved from San Antonio Texas (a very large city) to a tiny town of less than 10k people in Wisconsin. I've been living here for almost 2 years, and it almost forced me to learn this lesson. I had a lot of late nights that turned into mornings, thinking about my life. I was very very lost when I moved up here, no job, no friends, no idea what to do, and no drivers license to top it all off. I was stuck at home, and at the time I didn't mind it because I had already spent a lot of my time online. One of the biggest reasons I was able to find this out was a passion I have for the brain. I spent a lot of time thinking about how I felt about things. and then I quickly got addicted to that feeling. Its a cathartic, cleansing feeling when you figure how who you are. I have gotten to the point of wanting to journal, which was the result of your previous video on isolation. Journaling has created such a new view of introspection and a great way to almost rinse my brain at the end of the day (I journal right before bed). Honesty has almost become a point of pride for myself, because I found out that if you can be honest with your peers, and more importantly yourself, a lot of things fall into place. You feel happier, more in tune with yourself, and more at peace. I also got a book called 59 Seconds by Richard Wiseman that I would highly recommend for all. Its page after page of psychological research on several important pieces of life, such as happiness, persuasion, and motivation. I got a little sidetracked, but my point stands with yours. I can name a dozen things I've stopped doing for the better once I took the time to learn myself.
oh no! Its an adult! Run!
I love how daniels content is between pure silliness and entertaining talks-
This was unironically very nice to watch. I sympathise a lot, not just because I also have ADHD, but because I've ignored a lot of important things in my life. I've already started on the path to doing what makes me happy, but this video is both confirmation and gives me a bit of a fresher perspective on it. Thank you for making this video, Daniel!
This was a great video for a lot of reasons but the biggest takeaway for me is that I need to finally get myself an ADHD diagnosis because my god you formulate and verbalize thoughts exactly the same way I do
My ADHD radar went off immediately for him lol
Also, yes, get diagnosed. Medicine has changed my life.
pretty sure i have adhd. people that seem creative, entertaining and fun to me.... or people i get along with quickly... usually have adhd. (i didn't think there was any way he couldn't be, not with the flight of ideas, and the creativity and stuff. you almost need that kind of brain to fuel this high level. and having a staff? helpful to fill in the gaps, dropped balls, and just get the ship sailing smooth.)
Still watching, but I do appreciate the importance of standing by how you feel with confidence. Recently I've taken to being more firm in my views (not resistant to new info, but confident in what I care and am passionate about) and I've found it to help me feel more grounded in reality.
There are still some things I need to decide and reflect on, but thank you for being genuine and having this direct conversation. Even though you spoke to a camera, I hope those who watch through the camera's lens can draw value from what you've shared.
Dude i could listen to you talk for hours about real, life things like this. Thank you for taking this little "side path" i guess on youtube for this channel, i know some people might not like it, so too bad for them. but others like myself, will enjoy and respect these videos sooo much. and i also love your other videos, too ofc ;)
Just recently broke up with my partner for exactly this, to be able to find myself and knowing that I would change because of it. Seeing this vid right now really gave me a good feeling about my decision, as well as knowing that I'm not alone in finding myself, which helps a lot too. So, thank you for this honesty Daniel.
"for those of you who have been serially monogamous" is a sentence that makes me so happy because, to me, it says that you are aware of and not judging other types of relationship dynamics. Thanks ❤
3 pages is a lot Daniel, and somehow writing a page of a script can often feel as laborious as writing a page of a novel! Or it can go by in a breeze. Keep making art, Daniel!
Thank you so much, Daniel. I've lived in Germany my entire life and yet i needed to hear this.
Whitey being the cat he is and making himself involved in this video and unbeknownst to him triggering his dad's ADHD😹😹😹
Daniel, you're a cool dude! Woogalooga bro
I'm thankful for these types of videos from Daniel. It's pretty rare that you hear someone's internal monologue like this; parents, books, that's pretty much it. Frankly, being able to hear the perspective of someone who lives a completely different life than me brings a tear to my eye. It reminds me we're human and that we can all grow and change no matter who we are. Sorry for the deep comment, but thank you Daniel for continuing to post these types of videos.
I genuinely found this super insightful and helpful. I've been going through a tough time this year so I made the decision to move halfway across the country early next year and get a fresh start all by myself. This video really helped solidify things. I know it's going to be the right decision no matter what happens because I need to be able to work on myself separately from anyone else. I truly could listen to Daniel talk about this for hours, I find it so interesting
I love how he says for us to guess then answers like 2 seconds later 😂❤
KNOWLEDGE AND APPLICATION! I completely understand. I KNOW I overshare constantly. I KNOW I don’t want that part of my personality solidifying as I go through my 20s. But the application of what I know I want to change is so very difficult 😑
yep exactly. Especially since with adhd, you're basically fighting a child, and wrestling to take control of the wheel, but the child somehow pretty much always wins. That's how it is for me anyways. It's so easy to say to someone "oh well just take 20 mins of your day to clean up" or to sleep early, eat less, eat more, play less, drink more water, stop doomscrolling, etc. Yet it's so much harder to actually apply that to yourself, because you virtually have zero control over the things that other people may have control over. and being told to do and improve on those things you already know of is even a bigger deterrent to actually do what you need to do because you feel like that decision was made for you and not by you, and it's no longer a choice, but a demand and by following up on what they said is giving up your own control over your situation. And when told to do something that you're already doing or to do something differently also creates the same "well now I don't want to do it anymore, caus you ruined it" feeling. (oh btw, I'm not assuming you also have adhd, just that oversharing is a pretty common symptom and by talking about my own experiences is how I relate to people haha)
I just started realizing I do have feelings about things and can try to act on them 3 years ago! I really appreciate you talking about how new it can feel. I sometimes feel embarrassed or angry that no one showed me how to do this earlier in my life. But I feel in good company that a lot of us are figuring this out now. Kinda huge.
I am also a 30 year old man who's doing pretty well for himself and is struggling to be honest with/of himself... I don't know what I'm going to do about it yet but thanks for sharing.
Same tbh, every word
As a fellow creative person, I'm really loving your takes on these topics. It's cool to hear your personal experiences with these issues as an ADHD creative person because I can relate with you a ton, and it's very inspiring. Keep up the great work dude!
I just want you to know that I needed to hear this. Been having a rough year and been going through a lot. Being in the state that you were talking about is hard for me to comprehend sometimes. Hearing someone else going through the process I have been trying to do, hearing someone else going through struggles, it makes me feel like I can get through it when it is hard. Thank you for your wise words and your funny videos.
"We've been drowning in noise for a long while"
That's well put!!!!!
This was super helpful. Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts and learnings with us, Daniel!
I am in a similar situation right now and had similar thoughts in the last months. I never learned how to be myself, when it's just me, no other person in this world involved. Where do I wanna go? What is important to ME? What do I support, what do I fight for? Being opinionated in a relationship means to argue about stuff, and I tried to minimize that. Now I realize what I deprived myself of. It takes courage to be yourself, but really getting to know yourself is awesome.
I’ve been loving this whole series. I’ve been thinking about similar things recently, and not only do you verbalize some general thoughts I’ve been having, but I also get a slight feeling of connection BECAUSE you’re out there verbalizing the thoughts I’ve been having (if that makes sense?). It feels really nice to take a minute to reflect along WITH someone, rather than just on my own all the time (even though of course some self-reflection time is good).
Daniel, this video hits so close to home. Being real with myself and discovering what I want and why I want it and then trying to portray what I want in the world through myself is exactly what I've been focusing on in life right now. I love that you made this video and was so real to us. It helps me a lot to see another person going through the exact same thought process as me right now. I love all your content and am really happy you could share this with us!!! ❤❤❤
Polish the compass and then use the compass - beautifully put!!
Dude... it was 5 years ago when I was 36 when I sat down and "figured it out" (btw, there's never a single moment that everything perfectly crystalizes, it's a continuing endeavor); but every day forward from then is so much better *and easier* since I can have that honest discussion with myself on what I need and how I want to approach addressing it. Kudos to you for starting on that path!
the way that every now and then there's this like interesting thoughtful video like I was just watching a compilation of you trying to pronounce the name of a lake for like 30 seconds what is this duality
I found this out myself just now(im 19) and im so glad that someone is in the same situation. Ive been feeling very disconnected or disassociated with myself. I couldn’t even name 10 things i like and dont like. I loved that you are opening up and it is very validating to me. Thank you daniel❤
i related so much about the bird in the sky thing!! i was proud of seeing both sides of arguments, "everyone's action makes perfect sense" and there's no opinion that feels... grounding. and i was proud of the detachment - it felt mature, but in that state i just can't be motivated by anything because they don't feel objectively interesting enough.
very interisting that he is not like other celebrities and seeing how a "normal human" lives
Dude, this is very helpful and so accurate. I'm a psych major and one of my counseling classes has been focusing on the idea that you can never take your client farther than you've gone, so getting to know myself has been a journey I've been on for the past couple of months. On this journey, I was completely shocked at how little I actually knew about myself. I'm learning to be honest and be okay with liking certain things and disliking others. The journey is very worth it! Thank you for being open and honest!
I wish I could like this video twice!! This is exactly what I've been learning lately, as well. It's so hard when you've grown up as a people-pleaser, especially, to know what you like and don't like and to know that it's OKAY and GOOD to have opinions or to have a different perspective than those around you. Thank you for sharing this, it's exactly what I wish I heard earlier in life; hopefully it helps a lot of people
I applaud your honesty. It is honestly so amazing that someone can be honest one CZcams.
Daniel, I can not tell you how much I needed these exact words. I had a similar “simple” epiphany last week as well, but this particular practice is just what I need. I’m now mere weeks away from getting my degree in fashion design and applying for jobs presently, and I’ve found myself falling into the mindset that “I’ll take what I can get” career wise, when I should be on the opposite end! I’ve always been an opinionated person, and that’s what’s driven me to creative greatness. My professor and peers were talking about The Artist’s Way just a few weeks ago, but you’ve implemented it in a way that I know I’ll find immensely helpful. Thank you.
I very much relate to this. Learning these two things.
Challenging yourself. your beliefs, & opinions. Choosing a side and knowing why you chose it. Being willing to have been wrong.
Listening to yourself & your body. Noticing the signals your body sends before they become extreme. Notice how you feel. Then using that information to make decisions.
Love the group therapy. The kitty definitely gave some great points.
This brings together so many things I've been noticing and reading about authenticity recently. Thank you for joining a lot of the dots for me, this is a great video on the topic.
"This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man"
I feel like I really needed to hear this, especially today of all days.
Thank you, Daniel. ❤
I love these talking to us/keeping it real videos! Keep them coming please and thank you!! ☺
I think it's really cool to see someone, in the social media spotlight, doing something important for the viewers and themselves. To get real about it and share things that could very well help people is thoughtful and shows care for your fellow humans. Much love and respect man.
okay so daniel….thank you man. Like seriously…you are SO right. I always loved your videos because they connected to me in a strange way idek and now hearing you talk about EXACTLY how i feel is like an eye opener to me. You showed me that i cannot keep living this way. And i know that as well but i just cant seem to act upon it. Its like a trap i cant get out of. I know its not right , i know im ruining my future as well as my health because of how monotonous my life has become. Im always like “oh well okay lets just go with that”. never had my own opinion. always let my stupid thoughts and wants guide me. i want to change i really want to. im 17 years old and 2 years of my school life were RUINED by covid. it reallyyy f’ed me up. I literally started ignoring my responsibilities and just started killing time. I still have that mentality that i have all the time in the world and im in school i just need to complete my syllabus and pass , next class , study , next class and now im in the last year of school. Im just so lost idk what to do with myself. I cant focus on one thing, always getting distracted by the devices. See these smart phones and gadgets are a curse as much they are a blessing. Sometimes i just wish these didn’t exist and my life would be much better and sometimes im just so grateful for these. Ive realised that the fault is within me. I need to fix myself. I want to get back on track and realise im not a kid anymore. Hell , ill be an adult next year. So i just want to say , thank you. This was like a push i knew i needed but didnt know how. I really hope i can ignore my selfish wants and focus on my future. It seems difficult as most of the time has run out but I’ll try.
Yeah man! Tell it! I've been taking time off to figure out what I like to do and then developing it as a habit and bringing it into my day. Journaling has been helpful to me by separating the static from good data that I can build on. It's really cool to hear what you're doing, and how your reflective processes took you to Germany. Thanks for this video!
This is so important. Thank you for sharing and being vulnerable with us.
We love you, Daniel ❤❤❤
Love from Australia
Daniel.
Please do podcasts I could listen to them all day, the way you put things make life so much easier
I've always been afraid of actually figuring out how I work, what I like, and what makes me tick, I don't even know how to start. I needed this as a little kick in the pants tho, thanks man
I appreciate your vulnerability and genuine authenticity communicating with your audience. We are all on a journey and it's great to hear how others are traveling.
I just want to say... thank you , in the bad times watching you really helped me a lot and... just thank you for.. everything
You're describing what some therapists call "living in alignment with your values"! Something that sounds so simple but can be quite difficult to do because of so many factors such as societal expectations, social conditioning, personal history... and often times simply lack of knowledge of oneself - ie not knowing the "compass" exists or what it says. Really cool that you figured this out while traveling!
Thanks for the vid is a good reminder for myself as well!
One of those videos where you see the right thing at the right time. The honesty of yourself was really useful to hear, because lately I've been good at the honesty with myself but not the follow-through. Thanks for sharing something so vulnerable!
After crying through my entire therapy session today, this video is actually quite timely. I came to a very similar conclusion. I also totally agree not knowing where to steer the ship is incredibly anxiety inducing!
It's crazy how much I relate to everything you said. Thanks for making this, seriously.
Last month during spring break, I had a mental breakdown. I started EMT school and realized it wasn't the right path for me. But I didn't know what I'd do.
All the while, I was writing pages upon pages of notes for the books I want to create. I felt so stupid for not realizing this beforehand. I CANNOT imagine my life without ever writing again. It's just the hand I was dealt. It's part of who I am on the inside, and a way I can externalize myself/share with others.
I'm not the greatest communicator so I always find myself writing letters in the middle of arguments or panick attacks to whoever I'm speaking to. And then after all is said(or written) and done, I use these instances to write stories, songs, and poems. Sometimes I feel like there's something wrong with me, that I shouldn't be thinking about fiction in the middle of reality. But really, it's what helps me understand the world.
Whitey was just being honest of himself there, meowing his heart out, lol! He was listening to your advice.
You may have just realised that being honest to and of yourself is very important, but I want you to know that from what you share (both your comedy, and your more personal content) I can say you're one of the most true-to-self creators I know. You're definitely on the right track!
I hope you never stop making videos like these❤
thanks, this actually helped a bit. For awhile ive felt as if ive been stuck in a never ending loop and i have no idea what i want to do with myself and my life. (im young and i have to make VERY Important decisions soon) Its stressful and exhausting to think about and honestly i avoid thinking about it, but life keeps going, im not making any progress and i tell myself everything is ok just to stay calm and continue the loop.
Its ok to to stop moving for a second and think "hey, is this making me happy? do i wanna keep doing this?"
I love videos like this, they help a lot. :)
Thank you for sharing your experience. As a person with ADHD, I have such a hard time following through with what I know will make my life functional and happier. This is such a good reminder that putting in that effort is to take care of me, not hide some "dysfunction"
the Artist's Way is a lifechanger. I'm planning on doing it once a year. Don't apologize for your ADHD, we appreciate the authenticity!
Appreciate this. Writing has been very fulfilling for me each morning, or the mornings that I do it (most days) even if it's just gratitude, priorities, notes, to-do, ideas etc.
I love this so much! Took me so long to learn all of this, it's great to see someone going through this and overcoming it!
This was honestly really helpful; introspection doesn't come easily to me, no longer because i dont want to look and analyze myself, but because I'm not good at it. This was a great reminder that it doesnt have to be overwhelming, that it kust takes looking at one thing at a time.
ive been struggling so much lately which i need to j accept and come to terms that people wanna support me and yk daniel i j wanna thank you for this. im glad u figured this out for yourself and that uve shared it.
I've been slowly moving towards the whole, leaning how to be honest of myself over the past year. Great to hear that I'm heading in the right direction, thanks for the talk :)
This was enlightening. The funny thing about realizations like this is that they seem very obvious when you come to them, but it takes a lot of thought to put those simple words together. So thank you for sharing your thoughts here so eloquently and simply.
Glad you had a good time in Germany and that you kept on it with the artist's way (I never finished doing the book). This was a nice video to listen to and was advice I needed to hear.
Good on you man, honesty is one of the most important things a person needs to live a good life
This was literally perfect for me. I never know what I want I have to try to do this more thank you. You are awesome
I love this series Daniel. It's very relatable and your honesty in each video (no pun intended) really shows through.
I hear ya. The more our choices and actions are out of alignment with our authentic self, the more hollow and unfulfilled we feel. And a key part of being able to live authentically, is setting boundaries with anything or anybody in our life that makes us betray ourselves too often.
Sending love from Cologne, glad you liked our city!
Thanks, man. I really think I needed this reminder more than I thought. Thanks for sharing, Daniel!
I learned a lot of new things based on this video! It helped shift a new understanding of honesty and I'm super glad I clicked on this video. Thank you for taking the time to talk about your thoughts! :D
Thank you for these.
These are some good thoughts. In particular, you hit on the idea that we simultaneously discover who we are and we also test out that version of ourself with the world. Often, who we think we are feels amorphous because we simply lack the social context in which to evaluate that version of ourselves. The feedback we get from the internet about ourselves is so heavily skewed towards the edges: "you're amazing" and "you're the worst".
I do think that people used to do self-discovery more in the context of their social relationships, and being honest about that fact will help people to see why these journeys of self-discovery seem so difficult now. People used to define their identities and opinions as they saw how they fit into the group. They knew what they thought because they knew what the group thought and where they fit into that. In essence, people thought less about "who am I" because they saw that as the job of the group, not a personal quest. Sometimes trying to 'find yourself' without the context of social relationships is like trying to decide which spot in the ocean you like best. It's always moving and there aren't any landmarks to stake yourself to. But that isn't to say that we must find our whole identity in other people. It's that by having a stable social group, we are better able to understand ourselves, our opinions, and find purpose in our lives.
It bears remembering, when we speak of 'finding ourselves', what we usually mean is 'where do I fit into all of this', which really is about identifying our self+others, not some abstract identity that I somehow possess outside of the rest of the world. If we lack meaningful social connections, if we lack a 'clan' so to speak, many aspects of life feel uncertain. We can run around diagnosing each feeling of directionlessness, but it's unlikely to treat the root issue if social connection is what we lack. In our modern world, we have many new ways to connect, but we still must consider what the quality and nature of those connections is to know whether it is really meeting our needs to belong to others.
love this format, super interesting and nice change of pace
tbh im just kinda stoked there's another channel. DT has those vibes of someone you just wanna hang out with and talk to. plus, deep introspection AND humor abilities? top 10 gold tier. (thanks for sharing, man.)
I think a lot of times we harm our young men by teaching them to deny any emotional state other than anger. Seeing you giving yourself this space to explore your inner emotional world (and share it with others) is wonderful.
Edited to add- and by emotional space I'm referring to self identification. Which is an aspect of emotional maturity.
Interesting! I'll note this down. Going through some introspection is always great. Glad you had this useful experience Daniel!
Thank you thank you thank you Daniel. I know you said it kinda sounded dumb and obvious but for me that was a game changer. I’m on the verge of tears writing down everything you said ab how to be honest of yourself. I’ve struggled with ADD and for some reason this has helped me more than anything anyone else has said
I absolutely love these videos. It's almost therapeutic and a journey discovering humanity
Thanks, Daniel! That was awesome!
I ate my dinner to this video, thank you for the company and the lesson!
I love these 'let's talk about' contents. Love to see you serious.
I just realised I need this. Thank you Daniel ❤
I feel like it's always important to portray the work you show to people in a way that portrays you
Thanks for sharing! The Artist's Way is a great book.
hahaha, I've been planning a trip to Germany to do the same thing.
Your revelation makes so much sense, I feel like you've saved me a bunch of time, and given me a good starting off point when I go on my own trip.
So relatable Daniel. On all levels. Thank you.
..wow- thank you, genuinely. this is really important.
I believe you can do this in a relationship but that relationship needs open honest communication in its entirety. Setting aside the proper amount of time to re-evaluate real wants and needs and allowing those to change (yes that is okay) and having an agreement and baseline with your partner will get you to similar revelations. After which - you need to work with them to establish your needs outside of the relationship. I am glad you have found your perspective and are reinvigorated!
Daniel is speedrunning his way to becoming my favorite content creator with these videos and I am very grateful of it.