Bill Burr - Why I Never Perform On A Cruise Ship!
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- čas přidán 3. 07. 2023
- Bill Burr talks about his experience of performing on a cruise ship one time and how the crowd was 100 years old.
Podcast Name - Farley Bros Radio Podcast.
#BillBurr #CruiseShip #BillBurrUniversity - Komedie
I remember when Bill first came up with the idea to sink cruise liners as a way to control the population
BILL GATES CAME UP WITH DOING THAT BY ''VACCINATIONS''. ITS GOING PRETTY GOOD SO FAR.
Given the migrant situation here and in Europe, turns out he was a raging optimist.
Reminds me of George comparing his life's tragic stories to the Andrea Doria's survivor's story.
Significant shrinkage!!!
"Nobody has the balls to say it, 85% of you have to go."
- Bill Burr
Except they're old so it won't work.
I was a cruise ship musician for several years. Some of the best times I had were hanging with the comedians. Glad to hear Bill was down with it. 😂
I was a shoppie and an auctioneer most those times :)
How was the gig? Good money? How many gigs a day? I was thinking about trying to get one of those gigs…
@@MrLuridan yeah, I've also been wondering about what those are like
Being a Cruise Ship Musician is nothing to brag about. Or even mention for that matter lol.
why is that James? I met some super talented people working on ships and if oyu are talented enough to get paid for playing music and traveling the world you should be happy. Maybe not good enough for your high bar of living your best life, but hey if you can dwell on the corners of the internet making people feel a bit shit about themselves your work is done. @@JamesHeinrich-vk7vz
"If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands... and they did it! And they did it!" 🤣
I found this guy by accident, and now he's my favorite comic,
Have you found all the stuff he’s been in over the years that you thought was hilarious but never put a name to the face? That’s what happened when I “discovered” Bill Burr. The guy is hilarious and he doesn’t give a fuck which just makes him funnier.
Bill can tell a story like no one else i know.
His recovery on the Titanic joke was hilarious😂 "Alright how many of you were ON the Titanic?" ...😂
Lmfao
Must have been a Princess Cruise. Same shit happened to comedian on that voyage. He was 50ish. I was one of 3 people laughing in the audience. Guy later thanked me in the casino for giving him some luv as the rest of the audience was 75+.
Princess cruises are actually nice to work on BECAUSE the guests are old af, but they dont book many comedians. On those cheap, ghetto cruises shit get can get out of control pretty fast with alcohol, so they're not that good to work for. Though they do have some good comedians on Carnival ships even though they're human barns.
@brassholio
Yeah, I hear that. But this wasn't the case. It was a 2 week cruise, full transit thru the Panama Canal. Wheelchair city and the polar opposite of 2 weeks thru the Caribbean. I asked the crew, why such a difference? They said, fun cruises are generally 10 day max, because most people have to go back to work. Made a lot of sense, since I was technically working for my retired patient.....of 82🤣
Bill Burr's sense of humor is incredible ! I remember when I found Bill by roaming CZcams and he was taking cab rides all over the place.... my first time seeing him he was taking a cab in Manhattan . It was like a Tour routine throughout what ever city he was preforming at ....he even gave a tour past the building where he started out in college as a D.J. . He really is a favorite of mine ....I am glad that he is a settled family man now. His Netflix Specials are hilarious
I was in the Navy. I never want to go on a cruise. I hope to never be on the open sea again. My wife is on my ass about going on a cruise. I can not explain why but I equate being on a cruise to being locked in a mall. I know it doesn't make sense.
Exactly my thought.
Locked in a mall on Black Friday.
I've been on larger day cruise, casino 🎰 type ships but no big vessels. My cousin & his wife went on Virgin cruise line. He really liked it ⛴️. It was 18 & up only. Good food. I found even larger ships can sway & rock a lot. I'm not sure about a super huge ship.
Nah that makes sense to me. I could enjoy a cruise for maybe 3 days, tops. After that I'm jumping in the water.
Honestly that makes a lot of sense
"Dude! Look at my arm in this tank top" - Bill Burr (Walk Your Way Out)
Bill, asking a ship full of willing hostages "if they saw the Titanic?" WOW!!😮
I was on a cruise where they showed The Titanic in the theater!
@@stevemack7110 Titanic may be dramatic and all, but it's nevertheless not all too relatable, it was over 100 years ago, it hadn't enough safeboats etc. They must show that film with Kurt Russel about how the modern cruise ship fuckin turned upside down, what was it... "Poseidon" (2006)
I adore Bill's view on things, he always has good reasons.
I saw a comedian on a cruise ship and thought he was hilarious. Not only did he not freshen up his act on the ship, he was telling the exact same jokes for years when I found his videos on CZcams.
Sounds like Ron White.
David Brenner -
"So my mother and father one year decide to go on a cruise, and my mother gets sick while on the boat; so, they bring her down to the clinic, put her in one of the beds, where she dies. Okay, so a year later, around the anniversary of her death, I ask my dad if he wants to get out of town, figuring it would be too painful for him to stick around the house.
'Yeah,' he tells me, 'I want to go on the same cruise your mother and I went on.'
'You sure?' I ask.
'Yeah, we had a wonderful time, wonderful memories. It's where I want to go.'
So, we go and, hand to God, he gets sick and they bring him down to the clinic and put him in the same bed where my mother died. I am sitting, along with the doctor, at the foot of the bed, when my dad looks up, looks over our heads, and says, 'Great view.'
The doctor and I turn and see a row of bedpans stacked on a shelf. When we turn back, my father's gone. Imagine, same bed, same boat, same cruise, almost to the day."
"And he went out on a joke."
@@howard5992That's heartbreaking.
Reno Collier?
@@joeaarsen0 Yes. I believe that's who I saw.
Unz, listen for ze muzic, ya!
u know I allways sing along with the outro song.
Oh ow ow ow ow Oh ow ow ow ow ow ow
@@KimboKG14#metoo
I'd like to steal...er, I mean...receive a license to remix the outro song into a banger breakbeat track.
Dead ass subscribed immediately as soon as I heard TROIBOI in your intro.. lit 🔥
I did sound for Ellen in Marysville Ca. In 1992. It was two shows for meals on wheels, telemarketed to the locals. The late show was the young crowd, the first was the early bird special, average age about 70. She totally bombed on the early show, but I couldn’t stop laughing my ass off at the absurdity of it. Ellen caught on, and started to make jokes about how the sound guy was soo stoned ( i was ), and got the crowd to laugh at me which was fine. We didn’t pal around afterward, ‘tho.
I would like stand up comedians be funny without cussing, that is a dying art.
You're a great comedian if you can be funny without defaulting to drugs, sex, or swearing.
Just another typical Bill Burr hilarious story. The man brings the funny.
Bill please do a cruise circuit. I’d def go on that one
I had an ocean room like this and loved it. On the story of hey can't go here because of bad weather. So great. Hey this is your captain hey the hurricane just left. And lastly need a desk to write about this comedian.
Reminds me of sitcoms, where the audience is told they should laugh because that part was funny.
Fanboys can do serious damage.
they do the same shit with laugh tracks. The writing is so bad the audience needs to be queued to know when something is supposed to be funny.
Tangentially related, I'm told there's some pretty good music cruises now. My ex goes on these 'americana' cruises, and it is a great mix of new and established bands along with solo performers. One of the things she really likes is that there are 5 or 6 venue's and the bands will play at different times at the various venue's so if it's inconvenient to see someone it's likely you'll be able to see them at another time/day and stage.
She's told me that if you tried to see that much music and see your favourites several times, it would cost you a fortune at city venues.
Now i know why Bill would randomly wanna sink cruise ships 😂😂
I love the drawings!
You sir, Mr BBB, are a CZcams treasure. Love your content.
My first cruise EVER! this was the first thing I learned: How do you know someone you walk by is drunk? He/she is the one walking in a straight!
Lmao
Went on a week-long Carnival cruise once, but holy crap there's nothing to do if you're not into gambling, getting drunk at overpriced minibars, or sitting in a room with $30 per day of wifi. 😮💨
Wtf did you expect? Mountaineering & skiing? 😂
I work with a lot of Vegas entertainers. Sometimes people are in their way out the door. They scramble to put together a new reel and it's like you can hear the panic in their voice before they get sucked down like a hamster being fed to a giant African toad called the cruise ship industry. I've never seen anyone come back.
This is Carnival for sure 😂
Thank God for this man.
Moby Dick was one of the first novels I ever read. It was a paperback copy. I remember that there were little parts of it I would think about for years. It's been so long though I don't remember the context.
I had a puppet comic on my cruise. I made the mistake of heckling the pre-show power point where he had photos with every actually famous comic he’d. met.
Upon seeing the thumbnail for this video, I immediately thought of LRon Hubbard .
Probably just the captain's hat 😅
Lmao I KNOW it sucked when he realized he wasn’t gonna be able to do his regular set. However, I would almost guarantee the older people would have LOVED it. People always treat older people like that like they’re small children, so I’m sure they woulda loved it
It's called infantilization and I hate it! people do it to feel better about their own powerless life
To be fair, they were happy and they knew and clapped their hands
Thanks for the laughs Bill😅
Bill reads classic literature. Took me a minute to let that sink in.
Bill performed on the back of a bus before, and prolly won’t do cruises because the cellar crowd (early 2000s)made fun of him endlessly for the bus gig
Straight up got Room Zero Leisure Suit Larry style.
“How many of you saw the movie Titanic?
Let me rephrase that. How many of you were on the Titanic?”
😂😂😂
💜
The propeller story...Was he on the cruise I was working on? LOL
Went on a cruise after I got divorced, got off at first stop and flew home, not for me.
One of my favorite movies when I was a kid and didn't know any better was "Assault on a Queen" in which Frank Sinatra and his found and remitted a German U-Boat for the express purpose of holding up the Queen Mary cruise ship out at Sea.
The obligatory Kraut in the movie flashes back and tries to torpedo the Queen Mary.
Well, it doesn't work of course.
Frank ends up banging Verna Lisi, the obligatory love interest.
They should show that movie on cruise ships.
Along with "Abandon Ship" where Tyrone Power is faced with pitching some passengers overboard from a life boat because it's too crowded.
Ha ha ha , you rock Bill!
Nice!😂
I went on one cruise. It's actually true that the crowd was fairly YOUNG, contrary to Bill's experience, I saw almost no elderly at all. However, the people going on cruise are why I won't ever cruise again. Just wow. Black-out drunk, rude, exhibitionist to a point that was pathetic in many cases, just childish. The crew staff were very nice and very helpful. But my wife and I... never again. It was just drunk people behaving very badly, puking in the hallway, screaming at 3 am in the halls, being rude, getting in fights, flashing each other. Couple women flashing I low-key appreciated, but that's about it. Even then, it's still... like really honey, is that what you want to be about?
That is interesting. My wife loves cruising, I can take it or leave it, just as long as there is time on shore to converse with the local community. My wife is one of those people that turns into a child and looses her mind. She realized it but had no explanation for loosing her mind. People loose it on boats and planes, it is as if they are not responsible for their behavior on a large vessel. Long distance travel on land, in the air, on the sea 45% of people can’t keep it together!
Wow that sounds horrible... now what cruise was this?? For research purposes...
@@jera9876 Spring break time, Long Beach Harbor to Cabo San Lucas to Ensenada to Long Beach Harbor. Not gonna lie if I was 24, I would have checked my schedule for "when is the next one", but I was WILD in my young adult days.
Avoid cruises that have young people on it.
Was it carnival, or a small/old ship on a short itinerary? The crowd varies GREATLY deeply on the ship and itinerary
15 years on cruise ships o think it’s time for a pod cast :)
"Guy Smiley"? Sesame Street references!
Anyone know the intro song?
Sounds like the music from Samorost but I'm stuck. Heard it somewhere, would appreciate a hint other than Sand Storm!
I'd pay $50 to watch that set with that audience.
I heard somebody once say that taking a cruise nowadays is just a floating Walmart.
So Bill Burr’s experience on a cruise ship was like Fyre Festival where he was transported to an island in the Caribbean and he was shown to a tent with a soaking wet mattress and given a cheese sandwich, and no way to get home for the next several weeks.
The Carnival Legend collision did not result in any deaths. However, three years earlier a passenger did jump to his death from the Carnival Legend.
no more midnight buffet 😂
I love the idea of boat and cruises but nobody I know does.
Up to our eyeballs in crusty jugglers!
i will never go on a cruise ship. like being trapped in a hotel where people vomit off the balconies. you cant leave.
Meanwhile, I get an ad for Royal Caribbean
I use to work on oil tankers. I’ve cruised enough.
Bill is 100% right - average age on cruises is at least 75. One of Virgin's 'funship' cruises pulled in to port here in Oz recently and I was shocked - people in their 50s and early 60s seemed to have been lured by the 'no kids' marketing. Young whippersnappers ;)
The only cruise I would be willing to go on would be a river cruise. That way, if something goes wrong, I'm close to land.
"Cyanide pill just to relax..."
Yikes. Ol' Billy-Blue-Gills skipped the Dramamine, and going right to Cyanide.
I will NEVER go on a cruise ANYWHERE. I cannot stand to be around almost anyone in current society...let alone be trapped with them for a full week.😮
Sometimes I think Bill Burr could read the menu from a restaurant and be funny.
Whenever I think of or see a cruise ship I always yearn for Captain Nemo after I've convinced him not to sink warships, sink these things, they're way worse.
Inwent on a cruise once, by force, via my employer.
A client was so pleased with our project results that they "gave" the project team the reward of a Miami to Bahamas cruise.
Sounds great! Nope.
1. The cruise value was added to our W-2 and we had to pay taxes on it.
2. Our employer made us still do our full time work while on the cruise. Pathetic.
Urk, hope you've since jumped that shitty slave ship yet..
On that note after Carnival had that extended malfunction w/backed up crappers, etc I said NO way, ever. One of my aunt & uncle's loved 'em for gambling. Another thing that ain't for me but to each there own.
That’s SO fucked up man smh
There are always some pretty old people on most cruise ships. They're usually worth talking to, because they might live on the ship. An elderly care facility will cost $12,000 a month at a minimum. A cheaper cruise ship is like $5,000 a month. They just go from cruise to cruise.
And comedy on a cruise ship usually sucks because the audience doesn't know how to behave in a standup setting. They all think they're supposed to shout stuff out and become part of the show. Last cruise I went on, the comedian said at the end, "Good night. You are the worst audience I've ever had." The audience laughed. He was not joking. I talked to him later. I asked, "At least tell me the pay is worth it."
"Not tonight," he said.
22:30 theres a head figure in that angle... kinda scary
Bill did a show on a Greyhound or tour bus once, Opie and A made fun of him for it.
Does anyone actually watch the visuals in these videos?
I shouldn't have but did:(
Good joke material but geez, so many actual artists that need work/exposure.
Unless it's an Alaskan cruise with a balcony why would I find myself on a floating Holiday Inn Express catching the Norwalk virus and comparing colostomy bags with a bunch of old farts? I can do that down the street at the Legion. That same money would get you a luxury private room on a train through the Rockies or a week at the San Diego zoo with a room at Paradise Point.
😆🍀😎✌️
I loved the sea, but at some point, I developed thalassophobia. Now the sea sucks.
Take a "TOM cruise" ! Buahahaha
I answered and said, "If I have found favor in thy sight, O Lord, show this also to thy servant: whether after death, as soon as every one of us yields up his soul, we shall be kept in rest until those times come when thou wilt renew the creation, or whether we shall be tormented at once?" 76 He answered me and said, "I will show you that also, but do not be associated with those who have shown scorn, nor number yourself among those who are tormented. 77 For you have a treasure of works laid up with the Most High; but it will not be shown to you until the last times.
78 Now, concerning death, the teaching is: When the decisive decree has gone forth from the Most High that a man shall die, as the spirit leaves the body to return again to him who gave it, first of all it adores the glory of the Most High. 79 And if it is one of those who have shown scorn and have not kept the way of the Most High, and who have despised his law, and who have hated those who fear the Most High -- 80 such spirits shall not enter into habitations, but shall immediately wander about in torments, ever grieving and sad, in seven ways.
81 The first way, because they have scorned the law of the Most High. 82 The second way, because they cannot now make a good repentance that they may live. 83 The third way, they shall see the reward laid up for those who have trusted the covenants of the Most High. 84 The fourth way, they shall consider the torment laid up for themselves in the last days. 85 The fifth way, they shall see how the habitations of the others are guarded by angels in profound quiet. 86 The sixth way, they shall see how some of them will pass over into torments. 87 The seventh way, which is worse than all the ways that have been mentioned, because they shall utterly waste away in confusion and be consumed with shame, and shall wither with fear at seeing the glory of the Most High before whom they sinned while they were alive, and before whom they are to be judged in the last times.
88 "Now this is the order of those who have kept the ways of the Most High, when they shall be separated from their mortal body. 89 During the time that they lived in it, they laboriously served the Most High, and withstood danger every hour, that they might keep the law of the Lawgiver perfectly. 90 Therefore this is the teaching concerning them: 91 First of all, they shall see with great joy the glory of him who receives them, for they shall have rest in seven orders.
92 The first order, because they have striven with great effort to overcome the evil thought which was formed with them, that it might not lead them astray from life into death. 93 The second order, because they see the perplexity in which the souls of the unrighteous wander, and the punishment that awaits them. 94 The third order, they see the witness which he who formed them bears concerning them, that while they were alive they kept the law which was given them in trust. 95 The fourth order, they understand the rest which they now enjoy, being gathered into their chambers and guarded by angels in profound quiet, and the glory which awaits them in the last days. 96 The fifth order, they rejoice that they have now escaped what is corruptible, and shall inherit what is to come; and besides they see the straits and toil from which they have been delivered, and the spacious liberty which they are to receive and enjoy in immortality. 97 The sixth order, when it is shown to them how their face is to shine like the sun, and how they are to be made like the light of the stars, being incorruptible from then on. 98 The seventh order, which is greater than all that have been mentioned, because they shall rejoice with boldness, and shall be confident without confusion, and shall be glad without fear, for they hasten to behold the face of him whom they served in life and from whom they are to receive their reward when glorified.
99 This is the order of the souls of the righteous, as henceforth is announced; and the aforesaid are the ways of torment which those who would not give heed shall suffer hereafter." 100 I answered and said, "Will time therefore be given to the souls, after they have been separated from the bodies, to see what you have described to me?" 101 He said to me, "They shall have freedom for seven days, so that during these seven days they may see the things of which you have been told, and afterwards they shall be gathered in their habitations."
102 I answered and said, "If I have found favor in thy sight, show further to me, thy servant, whether on the day of judgment the righteous will be able to intercede for the unrighteous or to entreat the Most High for them, 103 fathers for sons or sons for parents, brothers for brothers, relatives for their kinsmen, or friends for those who are most dear." 104 He answered me and said, "Since you have found favor in my sight, I will show you this also. The day of judgment is decisive and displays to all the seal of truth. Just as now a father does not send his son, or a son his father, or a master his servant, or a friend his dearest friend, to be ill or sleep or eat or be healed in his stead, 105 so no one shall ever pray for another on that day, neither shall any one lay a burden on another; for then every one shall bear his own righteousness and unrighteousness." 2 Esdras 2:31
''''''''''''''''',,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
"....I needed a cyanide pill just to relax........" I'm going to use that line, for sure. Without attribution, of course.
Don't diss circus shit, can you juggle. I can't
He has angered the carneys
Couldn't pay me enough to go on a cruise ship. Giant metal death trap mazes, infested with STDs and food poising.
'That's not racist, it's cultural'
am I too high or is there like a sharingan sound effect in the intro? If anybody knows, please tell - thanks
Cruise ships can end up on the bottom of the ocean, just like any other ship.
After months on a frigate, I have zero interest in cruise ships.
I don't need to listen to know that he's not allowed within 10 nautical miles of a cruise ship
I think he's funny.
My Mom keeps trying to convince me to go on a cruise. It ain't gonna happen.
Poop cruise. I will never go on a cruise after that unfortunate journey hit the media.
It's the last place for old birds to get laid, see a sunset on 8 vodka Collins, get fingered by a philopeno cleaner in a closet, what happens in international waters stay's in international waters! Plus if you strike out there's still an all you can eat buffet, a shite DJ ... maybe a roller coaster n trap shooting, if not some combination of the two! Cruise on ladies n gentlemen!
I have no desire to go on a cruise
It's in the toothpaste, Bill
the shot of the bars and tone at the front is horrifying me. put up a slate or graphic then fade up after 3 frames
...because you'll inevitably piss people off and rather than leaving the vicinity shortly after the show, you'll be trapped together on a small ship?
As a doomsday collapsitarian who believes that the primary cause of global ecological biocide will be the cause of the breaking down of life on earth, cruise ships use the dirtiest diesel
The people interviewing him, especially the girl, could not be more annoying if they tried
I hear this interview & as an author branching out to speaking it gives me shivers!
Cruise ships are like prisons decorated with tinsel, elevator music, and a nice view. But you can't get off when "psycho Mike-Oh" gets drunk, starts streaking around the decks and pukes out his crab salad all over the cheap carpeting. 🙄
But he will do stand up on a bus for Super Bowl tickets
Even if I ever had all the money in the world, there are two things I'd never spend a cent on them: getting into a cruise, and buying a motorcycle. I appreciate the concept, the beauty of it and all, but no. For me, they are two of the lamest, most pretentious-ass things you could get with your money.
That was mildly funny at best
Also when performing on cruise ships, they make all the entertainers go through daily abandon ship-type drills. You have to put vests and helmets on and things like that. F that.
Women and children first?
The Fake Ass Laughing from the others is ANNOYING AS FUCK. Not everything Bill says is dying laughing funny. But there are tons of videos of those cruise ships with waves coming up over 30ft. When I am 3 stories off the sea and waves turn my window a nice watery blue. I AM OUT.
White screen is murder on my eyes
Best racist comic ever