The College Try by Garfunkel and Oates
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- čas přidán 19. 11. 2012
- Riki (Garfunkel) Lindhome and Kate (Oates) Micucci sing about a college bisexual experience. LYRICS:
There comes a time in everyone's life
When they choose stasis or they choose to grow
To be open new views and experiences
And challenge what they think they know
We don't live a in a black and white world
And sexuality exists in the gray
You can't define those roles so rigidly
By saying someone's totally straight or totally gay
Cause people are just people
And love today is omnisexual
God, I love this new side of me
As a modern heteroflexible
So with the help of a lot of booze
I find a girl and we make out
And it feels the same as kissing a guy
So I don't see what the fuss is about
We keep hooking up and it feels so good
And with my new broad outlook firmly in place
I've come so far, it feels so right
There's a vagina in my face and I'm all
Ewwwwwwww...
Holy shit I didn't expect that, didn't know I'd react that way
I was repelled like negatively charged ions in a magnetic field or like I got pricked by a thorn
I'm Cinderella and it's midnight and my coach turned into a woman
I haven't been that close to a vagina since I was born
I thought I understood what was up down there
But it's just so human when you see it up close
It's a messy visible secreting organ
Real woman genitals are kinda gross
I thought it'd be smooth and non-threatening
Or nonexistent like Barbie's
Instead it looks like a half eaten Beef and Cheddar
In the garbage can at Arby's
It's wrinkly and flappy and uneven and messy
And kind of pink but also kind of brown
With a super aggressive tongue-like hole
And a hoody triangle protruding skin mound
It's like a weather beaten deflated football
Or a decomposing, bloody pear
Or a toothless mouth with gum rot and yeast
That's salivating and covered in hair
I knew it smelled weird but this is extreme
Like old French dressing at a salad bar
Or expired banana Activia
Or a dead, rotting turtle you left in your car
It reminds me of the smell of my grandma's house
Or a guinea pig with bacterial disease
Wafting from a jar of formaldahyde
Or fresh Spaghetti-O's and warm blue cheese
I'm sorry I can't believe I said that
That was insensitive and immature
I swear I'm not homophobic or anti-woman
Just caught of guard for sure
The female anatomy's divine and perfect
And should be eternally celebrated
And revered for it's role as beautiful vessel
Wherein all life is created
And when I think about it I'm like
Ewwwwwwww...
Sorry for the confusion ma'am
I guess I'm not that evolved
And my illusions of bisexuality
Just instantly dissolved
I mourn the cool new life I'd envisioned
Where love renders gender preference obsolete
Cause when I looked a vagina in the eye
I made a hasty, ungraceful retreat
So my sad but definite conclusion is
That my mouth is for food and penises only
But I'm happy so many people like it down there
Otherwise I'd be really lonely
And I can't believe I have one of those - Hudba
That's like a whole new meaning of scared straight..
Hahahaha! Good one! 😆
That comment where the two of them said (in stereo) my mouth is for food and penises only, I spit up diet coke all over my computer monitor.
I'm a lesbian and i was literally howling with laughter, this is defs a song for my straight best friend
"So my sad but definite conclusion is
That my mouth is for food and penises only
But I'm happy so many people like it down there
Otherwise I'd be really lonely"
genius
This is the longest "no homo" I've ever heard
and it sounds better than some prick going "UHUHUHUHUH NOHOMO HUHUHUHUHUHUH" as if it's actually funny.
"And I can't believe I have one of those...EW"
Best ending to any song I can think of.
Half of me was laughing my ass off, while the other half of me was wondering how the hell you both keep in sync! Simply awesome!
Multiple takes
Practise lots of practise
As a lady lover, I'm trying to find a way to be offended about this, but I honestly just can't. It's too hilarious and what I imagine most truly straight women would feel if in such a situation. Please never stop!
Trying to find a way to be offended?
@@migueldecarvalho8012 the irony of you being offended by her not being successfully offended ...
Context matters. I think you know it’s satire and that their hearts are good. It’s funny and not nasty or homophobic (although nasty homophobes may relish it in that way 😢). I’m a straight guy with gay friends but I find the idea of me having gay sex off putting to say the least. Doesn’t make me a phobe though. Perhaps my gay friends find the idea of straight sex off putting. I expect it depends on the person.
@@migueldecarvalho8012 she was clearly making a joke. I hope.
@@chrisziersch5552 horseshite. Funny is funny, wether it’s nasty, or not, if it’s funny it’s funny. It’s all in how you take it, not in how they mean it. As a child of the 80s growing up right outside Boston, we used to tell each other the most horrific, racist, homophobic, whatever-ist jokes you could imagine. Nasty wouldn’t begin to describe it, things that would get us lynched now a days, and the races we were joking about were 100% present, but there was not vitriol behind it. It was just for a laugh, and that’s how everyone took it. Cancel Culture and The Church if Wokeism have tried their best to kill comedy, and they’ve def wounded it badly, but hopefully it will never die.
“A half eaten beef and cheddar in the garbage can at Arby’s”
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Look at the human body: a waste management site near an amusement park. ~ R.I.P. Robin Williams
Who was paraphrasing Rabalais.
or the sewers are the amusement park
if you find it either offensive or disgusting you've missed the point entirely.
Or are able to have two interpretations of a song at once. Yes, it's about straight people deluding themselves. But it still plays into sexist stereotypes about what the average female vagina looks like.
I think a lot of people are missing the point, this is supposed to be *satire* about college experimentation.
People lo-ove missing the point. :-)
Well, at least now they know
oh THAT college try. I thought it was about half-assing it.
Missing this point it's just stupid
I don't know what if funnier, these hilarious videos, or the rants of people who over-analyze and take it seriously. The comedy of Garfunkel and Oates is fresh and raw, akin to that of Matt Stone and Trey Parker. Hey, it's a joke! Do any of you really believe that Kate Micucci feels that way about vaginas? Seriously, were that true she would have changed her name a long time ago! Keep it up ladies, you make the world a more enjoyable place. I play guitar in a Christian rock band at Church, but "the Loophole" video brings me to laughing-tears every time I watch it. Keep it coming, Riki and Kate!
Someone give this man a cigar!
🚬, that'll do.
yep. that is exactly how it went
I'm ashamed how much this made me laugh. Dang you for reducing my years of maturity to nothing more than a 13 year old gigglefit.
I wanted to upvote this but it's at 69.
I watched the comments and now I regret that.
depenthene This is pretty much me every time I read CZcams comments. I mean, Internet comment threads in general are just shit and should be avoided at all costs, but CZcams comments are a different beast altogether. The level of depravity, derptitude, and general human shitiness in CZcams comments is simply unmatched anywhere else on the Internet.
The song isn't about vaginas being gross. It's about trendy people thinking they can just choose what/whom to like sexually, and discovering rather emphatically that they can't. It would not have worked for two guys, because our culture is still so insanely skewed against male on male love, it would not even be a plausible scenario.
Lesbian Until Graduation is a running joke in college-- so I guess some women manage not to be grossed out.
To THEM. You're not very good at this, are you?
I'm sure the butt-hurt brigade should excel, in that case.
Bullshit...the song is just as it apears to be: About how pussies look and smell!
Some are gross, and some are not, just like many (or I should say most) hard dicks are.
BUT, if you were lucky in your life as a male you got to encounter some of the pussies that were the pretty, young, (without much hair - or even none), smooth pouting vertical slots that said to you: “I was made for getting you hard and I am the perfect place to put that hungry aroused thing of yours in”. For me anyway, when I did get one of those beauties...well.. they were without doubt the very BEST experiences of my long life.*
*68 years, which is, (relatively speaking of course), old to most everyone at this place.
bsw101 so your interpretation of the song is: bad luck, she got a bad pussy. She just needs to keep trying. Sounds TOTALLY legit.
I have listened to this a million times and it never stops being hilarious. "I'm Cinderella, it's midnight, and my carriage just turned into a woman."
...after this song i seriously considered not having sex anymore... EVER
Always thought Brit-star Victoria Wood was the 'wunderkind' of this type of clever female comment to music..these girls are several floors above her. Raging musical,syntactical and grammatical talent!
that descrition is exacly what i see as a gay man.
Matan Popko not all look that bad, but as a straight man I’ve seen a few of those myself... the older a woman gets, the worse and more abused her vaj looks (generally, not all vaginas are equal, just like certain women are still attractive when they’re sixty and some women stop being attractive before they hit thirty).
@@Rick_Sanchez_C137_I was thinking the same today, lol. How a 46y/o woman I dated weeks ago looks more ‘new’ down there, than the 34 I am dating now.
Edit: lol just realized I replied to a 5y/o comment
they should totally make this into a karaoke video, Would anyone be capable of singing this? so many lyrics!!! respect to you two for not tripping over your own words!!
They have quite a number of songs that are sung in "RapidFire" vocals!! These are two TALENTED women!! love, kisses and wrap them in a warm blanket!!💋💋❤❤
It's funny, cause as a person who LIKES vaginas, I fucking love this song.
As usual, G & o are hilarious, while accurate. I'm thankful that I'm a lover of vulva, and, since puberty, have spent as much time as possible up close to one. Mmm mmm good!
Everyone's entitled to their own opinions, but I think they're nasty as hell.
As a bisexaul I wanna say I'm dead- bdsjhfds This was so funny and I don't see why people are overreacting lmao I can only assume they aren't lgbtq because most of the comments I've seen saying it's funny are from lgbtq people or people who understand what the video is about- Keep it up !
I'm bi and same.
what can I say ? I'm a heterosexual guy and I have similar reactions to these girls every time
The really funny thing is to watch it twice, once only watching Garfunkel then once again for Oates. Their expressions are perfect
MY exact thoughts on vagina put into a song. I always thought the folds made it look like the mouth of a sea monster but no one ever listens. Love this song X3
"Sea monster" haha this comment wins! That could have been used in the song!
@@MeAuntieNora So could a gutted salmon
@@generationless6942 Oh, you didn't!
Thats the thing, the vagina is the inner part that things go in, the rest is comprised of various bits and pieces which can be bizzarre, or they can be kinda neat looking..............lotta variety and its not all vagina.
all the comments are about defending this song against the haters who don't understand it,
only problem is i don't even see one person hating or misunderstanding the song in the comments,
your solving a problem that doesn't exist
There are, you just have to scroll a bit longer and look into smaller comment secrion
I'm five minutes into scrolling and havent found a hate comment either... I suppose people just like bandwagons
Riki Lindhome is such an amazing performer.
HOKEY SPOKES!!! This is sooooo over the top, clever, wildly satirical on many levels, and just plain hilarious that I thought I was gonna die laughing.
You are true originals.
Haha!!! The instant right before they began that first long description, I had my hands over my mouth in shock...I knew it was coming, XD! Even though I'm a woman, I'm wholly bemused by this!
One of their funnier videos...
I've watched it several times over the last few months and am still chuckling over watching it today.
I really shouldn't have laughed at the freakout, but you two freaked out so well.
I knew a girl in college who basically told me the same story.
In the cadence of our battalion commander in ROTC, "smells like fish but tastes like chicken, close your eyes and keep on licking"
I think these two women are hilarious. I hope they have a cd out there so I can listen to this more. loving all of this!!
How the hell did I miss this one?!? You two are freakin' geniuses!
Kate Micucci is currently on Big Bang Theory she plays a girl with social anxiety, which is a hard thing to pretend to have, and she actually does a really good job and making it believable.
Honestly this song is validating for actual bisexual people because I can be like “oh wow yeah I definitely didn’t react like that”
I've watched a LOT of your videos of late (maybe too many, but that's the subject of another post) and this one is BY FAR the funniest one yet! And totally authentic. Great job! Amazing repertoire! I hope to see you two o as far in your career as possible! You deserve every success!
My God this is absolutely brilliant. Thank You Garfunkel and Oates - this is priceless!!!
this is ART!
"Half-eaten beef and cheddar at Arby's"
Wow.. They totally nailed it
It's the kindest thing anyone has said about Arby's in a long time.
Wonderful piece! You guys are awesome!
Ladies, you have made me laugh harder than I've laughed in years. Wonderfulness!
Bravo!!!! Standing Ovation from me. I'm a big fan of G&O, as well as each of your individual endeavors. This video is next-level shit, y'all. Gorgeous, perfect comedy song, insanely wonderful physical reactions, even down to the perfectly timed breaths. Outstanding job, you two.
So very funny, very insightful as well, but lots of laughs about all else.
I have NEVER laughed so loudly aloud...only Stewart and Colbert normally make me laugh this loudly.
Great as always.
THIS IS PERFECT
I didn't see the description of the video before*
Wonderful, awesome, funny AF, and absolutely magical. Thank you.
you guys have gained a HUGE fan so hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!
literally laughing out loud. Love how you guys just say it out loud, no matter what the topic! And those who are offended, get over yourselves- it's COMEDY!!
Not sure if the message is 'I'm so sick of people experimenting everything and then sometimes regretting it because they have absolutely no vision' or 'gay people are born gay'. Either way, I agree.
I think they're kind of poking fun at people (straight people) who get so engrossed in defending the rights of gay people that they begin to feel guilty that they aren't at least bisexual. So, they give a shot, and...nope!
I think it is both.
genuinely got a laugh inspite of ludicrous amounts of sleep deprivation.
you're great thanks so much
Brilliant content and talk about delivery. Subbed !!!
absolutely hilarious, my wife and I love these two ladies. very funny.
This is a really funny song. it's one of my favorites by GaO. as a male who absolutely *loves* vaginas, i have some straight female, and gay male friends who feel this way about them, and this song is very funny!
just heard about this at a party the other night. glad I looked you up! awesome!
You guys are great. Keep up the good work.
This song is literally exactly how I feel about vaginas. I could not have explained it more perfectly. I love you guys.
Can you imagine how long it took to film this in terms of takes? An impressive piece of writing and performing!
I'm new to your videos, I don't know where I've been, but... I have seen one or two of them, Very funny, Thank you!
I laughed so hard watching you both in this vid, It's very funny, Well timed and Fantastic reactions. Thank you again for the good laugh and I will be watching any others that I find!
Damn! Very descriptive. I love y'all. Seriously.
A friend, who went to one of the great women's colleges back East, referred to her four-year dalliance with young ladies as "visiting the zoo." It's not for everybody, and you really have to be honest with yourself about what you like ... and what you don't like.
lmmfao, they are truly awesmoe
I have missed you two. Saw Riki in Wednesday. Very well done and have marked two movies featuring Kate. But I really love what you do as a Garfunkel & Oates.
You guys are awesome!
Holy shit as a bi female I laughed out loud so many times during this.
hi. just another bi girl popping up to say I laughed my vagina off. you're awesome😂
Beauty truly is in both the eyes and nose of the beholder. To each their own. These two woman are fabulously funny.
While I don’t agree with the “findings”, this is my favorite song; your “reactions” are priceless.
I was introducing these 2 to my mother one day. About 5 vids in, she asked if they were lesbians. I didnt say a word and just hit play on this song.
She laughed so hard her hernia popped out.
Well I hope women appreciate what we do after that beautiful song. Lol Thank you.
Funniest thing I have seen and heard in ages. Top job.
Oh. Good. Lord.
You guys are great!
That was freaking hilarious! But how do you guys talk that fast in unison? As always, I'm in awe...
bon je suis français et ce commentaire vas surement passer inaperçu mais j'aime beaucoup votre duo, vous me faites bien rire et c'est vraiment rafraîchissant.
aller bonne continuation un fan français
LMFAO!!!!!!!! holy shit how did i just NOW seee this! You two always crack me up so hard!!!!!
You two are awesome.
This was hilarious. I laughed my ass off.
Riki and Kate are really funny.
God, the first time I watched it I was in pain from laughing so hard. Still hasn’t let up. My chest hurts lol
This is the funniest thing I have seen in a very long time.
I like the part where it almost sounds like they aren't even singing anymore lol
I can't help wondering how synchronized they are:) like two person in one body. Miley Cyrus would have 4 knots and her tounge and be dead of choking after two garfunkel and oates sentences
ehm... shouldn't be "one person in two bodies"? hahah
Go easy on him Javi-his name is stoner for Christ's sake
They sing really fast sometimes
I'm so glad it took the turn it did. Thank you, that was really funny.
You two are amazing. XD
Everyone in the comment section is mad on every video. Even just ones of cute puppies. It makes me sad.
It's funny how many people are completely missing (or more likely just ignoring) the point of the video. This video is for all the straight young women who go through a phase of pretending to be bisexual, especially in front of men, either out of idealism or for attention only find out that when it comes down to it they're straight. It's also poking fun at how young women often know so little about their own bodies. It really isn't any more of a political statement than that.
I like their music but I have to admit that after seeing their new show on IFC I've gotten in the habit of scrolling down to the comments sections just to see how ridiculous they can be on utterly innocuous songs. This particular video takes the cake.
You ladies are very talented and humorous.
I don't want anything to do with anyone else's lady bits, but I quite like my own.
Bahahahahahaha! That is hilarious! And so true for those of us who thought we might be bisexual... but turned out to be straight :\
This is simply a masterpiece of a funny song. Amazing stuff.
That was Awesome!!!
imo this song is just about how strangely people treat/react to genitalia in general. and yeah, especially vaginas. like i don't think vaginas are inherently "dirty" or whatever but they're also not magical or "beautiful" either. it's just a body part, and guess what ? sometimes nasty stuff happens in that area lol. the same is true for penises or whatever! snot comes out of my nose! we try to impart certain ideas and feelings about our private parts.. whether good or bad, but it usually has some air of mystery or strangeness when we talk about it. it doesn't really matter. they exist and sometimes they're gross but that's ok! so i like that the song just talks about it in a frank way. That's just my take on it anyway :P
SelphieFairy They are both dirty in their own way, half way literally. Pee comes out of one, blood from the other.
You just need to talk to them when that isn't happening.
+CrysResan wait... bloods not supposed to come out of my penis?...ohoh
are they beautiful or gross? YES, it's always both. Just keep it clean and trimmed.
Ok I'm just getting in the shower
"And I can't believe I have one of those."
I wish I had one of those. I'd never leave home. I'd be an internet sensation.
No. Just no.
This is brilliant.
Will probably haunt me forever tho, glad you have such nice voices haha.
Sow tRUE. Songs for the "Strickly prickly". Good seeing you doing your thing; last time was on the "maid to order" set. In that jet scene. U guys have a great skit; funny xhit. Keep it up you're a great MENtal muse-ick-call team.