I Read Onision's Entire Book

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  • čas přidán 13. 11. 2018
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Komentáře • 22K

  • @meoueo
    @meoueo Před 4 lety +7340

    "every character is Greg in a different wig" I died imagining that

    • @faiths5338
      @faiths5338 Před 4 lety +122

      Gaia Semiglia , that’s basically his videos so that’s basically his book 😂

    • @awoogaoogabooga3590
      @awoogaoogabooga3590 Před 4 lety +6

      Yep

    • @florence5400
      @florence5400 Před 4 lety +30

      I’m contemplating suing Æons for the years of therapy this will cpst me

    • @HiiImTrash
      @HiiImTrash Před 4 lety +8

      That's how I pictured what she's describing. I picture him in different wigs just like his videos 🤦😭😂

    • @versaarchi
      @versaarchi Před 4 lety +4

      When I heard that it reminded me of friendlyjordies

  • @fleshymeatsac9371
    @fleshymeatsac9371 Před 4 lety +5240

    "Now we have arrived at the school shooting scene"
    Wait what?
    "He took his roller blades off"
    Wait double what?

    • @Only_Yours_
      @Only_Yours_ Před 4 lety +17

      FleshyMeatSac This may or may not relate to this but Lola is that you?

    • @fleshymeatsac9371
      @fleshymeatsac9371 Před 4 lety +8

      @@Only_Yours_ lola?

    • @oddeyes9413
      @oddeyes9413 Před 4 lety +48

      Be kind to my mind and please rewind... to the point that Onision doesn't exist.

    • @yourlocaltheatrekid900
      @yourlocaltheatrekid900 Před 4 lety +6

      Odd Eyes94 onion boy*

    • @realanimegirl777
      @realanimegirl777 Před 4 lety +30

      my man skates to a school bang bang shooty literally

  • @skepticmoderate5790
    @skepticmoderate5790 Před 3 lety +2597

    "I read Onision's entire book."
    You shouldn't be encouraging self-harm.

    • @mysteriousarcanum2769
      @mysteriousarcanum2769 Před 2 lety +7

      @@katatonikbliss bruh wtf😟

    • @Star-vu8xo
      @Star-vu8xo Před 2 lety +43

      @@katatonikbliss sir this is a McDonald's

    • @yowieyahoo
      @yowieyahoo Před 2 lety +23

      @@katatonikbliss omg greg????

    • @abfs5470
      @abfs5470 Před 2 lety +7

      @@Canned-Tomato-Basil-Soup the joke is Greg

    • @Meleedroit
      @Meleedroit Před rokem +7

      @@yowieyahoo tf did they say??

  • @summer_the_rae
    @summer_the_rae Před 2 lety +1362

    “I’m not convinced American public schools are this badly run.”
    One time a speaker came to my high school to talk about “overcoming his Tourette’s” (?). A bunch of students Googled him and found out he's a sex cult recruiter so they told the principal, and he had to apologize over the PA system for not doing any background checks.

    • @atoucangirl
      @atoucangirl Před rokem +131

      did... did no teacher bother to like... do ANY research about this guy that they were inviting to speak at their school like... not even google his name for half a second?

    • @froglegstastebestsalted
      @froglegstastebestsalted Před rokem +19

      At least he apologized

    • @summer_the_rae
      @summer_the_rae Před rokem +110

      @@froglegstastebestsalted yeah i guess, but the fact that he did ZERO background check before letting someone into the school speaks volumes to me

    • @ShinyPrimarina
      @ShinyPrimarina Před rokem +20

      I'm like very curious now who this dude was??? Did this news blow up locally??

    • @bris.6258
      @bris.6258 Před rokem +13

      Was this someone local or associated with nxivm or esp? I’ve heard of former members shilling their own versions of the curriculum so just curious.

  • @wintervaughan1565
    @wintervaughan1565 Před 4 lety +8901

    When I clicked on this video I was NOT expecting heterosexual traumacore Obama fanfic

    • @AB-qt2kh
      @AB-qt2kh Před 3 lety +588

      This comment was a 1-hit K.O.

    • @vrilnau5396
      @vrilnau5396 Před 3 lety +75

      @@AB-qt2kh Agreed

    • @smileymctrashbag
      @smileymctrashbag Před 3 lety +252

      The straights are not sending us their best Onion boys.

    • @Nitrolord
      @Nitrolord Před 3 lety +389

      @@smileymctrashbag The Onion man was merely a quality control error. Rest assured, we take great pride in the products we make here at StraightCo

    • @AUGGHAHAHA
      @AUGGHAHAHA Před 3 lety +14

      Same here ;-;

  • @user-xh6cg7zf9h
    @user-xh6cg7zf9h Před 4 lety +4493

    My favorite poem of all time:
    "I saw some blood,
    And my classmates are dead,
    But most importantly, there's a girl in my bed."

    • @theos9793
      @theos9793 Před 4 lety +65

      r/BootTooBig

    • @expresionless953
      @expresionless953 Před 4 lety +45

      It's a crippled haiku (i think that's how it's spelled?)

    • @alexv3357
      @alexv3357 Před 4 lety +38

      @@barrywhiteofnewyork5949 It's probably naïve to think that he would give head

    • @mooncrumble9036
      @mooncrumble9036 Před 4 lety +99

      @@alexv3357 So no head?
      **Slams phone, stomps skateboard**

    • @KoishiVibin
      @KoishiVibin Před 4 lety +4

      lel

  • @zanman3552
    @zanman3552 Před 3 lety +3246

    I love how casually she says shit like “Rape” and “School shooting” just because this book is so damn over dramatic to the point that these tragedies have no meaning in this world he created.

    • @arizonagreenbee
      @arizonagreenbee Před 2 lety +483

      It really drives home how little he actually cares about the problems he talks about

    • @completely_normal111
      @completely_normal111 Před rokem +33

      @@arizonagreenbee this

    • @WillieManga
      @WillieManga Před rokem +69

      Two terms for this would include "Shock Fatigue" and "Diminishing Return." It's why Agony failed as a horror game because there was no calm in it. It also failed as a game in itself because the gameplay was so boring, but that's another story. This fails to shock because Don Onion is proven to be insane already.

    • @TheGallantDrake
      @TheGallantDrake Před rokem +19

      @@WillieMangashock fatigue, that was the term. Thanks!

  • @UnicornLove5596
    @UnicornLove5596 Před 3 lety +3252

    So who's gonna tell him that trauma isn't a personality trait?

    • @sexyapples5003
      @sexyapples5003 Před 3 lety +54

      I’m not gonna tell him bro

    • @tristanhartup4936
      @tristanhartup4936 Před 2 lety +132

      You can tell him, but he's not gonna listen.

    • @s0livagant_
      @s0livagant_ Před 2 lety +45

      I mean it would be a waste of time cause yk his skull is too thick for him to comprehend he isn’t perfect

    • @RozehKakes
      @RozehKakes Před 2 lety +36

      @@s0livagant_ or that he has to make a severe amount of progress to be an actual functioning adult instead of an incredibly stunted teenager with trauma that definitely does require outside help
      including years maybe decades of healing
      but yea that wont process thru his alpha chad mind

    • @ms.aelanwyr.ilaicos
      @ms.aelanwyr.ilaicos Před rokem +15

      This is an attack on D&D rogues everywhere

  • @kitcatkitcat
    @kitcatkitcat Před 4 lety +13187

    the first pages or whatever can be summarized into “i’m weird. i’m a weirdo. i don’t fit in and i don’t want to fit in. i am too intelligent for society to comprehend. i am surrounded by idiots. my name is light yagami, welcome to my ted talk.”

    • @frenchy9870
      @frenchy9870 Před 4 lety +519

      this comment gives me life

    • @nightflairr2186
      @nightflairr2186 Před 4 lety +898

      “*you ever wonder why i wear this stupid hat all the time??*”

    • @miachabaud
      @miachabaud Před 4 lety +233

      r/iamverysmart ahaha

    • @nightflairr2186
      @nightflairr2186 Před 4 lety +142

      Mia Chabaud lmao i give it 2 hours till we end up on that subreddit

    • @kitcatkitcat
      @kitcatkitcat Před 4 lety +231

      Mia Chabaud onision is that whole subreddit personified

  • @Ampher03
    @Ampher03 Před 4 lety +4647

    “This girl’s life is just trauma bingo.” Best quote in the whole goddamn video

    • @calh8209
      @calh8209 Před 4 lety +215

      2326_543337 idk broski “he just rollerskates into a school shooting” is a banger too lmao

    • @thebaIding
      @thebaIding Před 4 lety +163

      "Every character is greg in a wig." is iconic

    • @strawberrymagpie
      @strawberrymagpie Před 4 lety +147

      *_HELLO SON. COME HAVE SOME LENTILS FOR DINNER_*

    • @overthinker5805
      @overthinker5805 Před 4 lety +53

      Honestly every sentence in this video is extremely quoteable

    • @alice-8566
      @alice-8566 Před 4 lety +25

      2326_543337 I feel like that’s my life lmaooo “trauma bingo” absolutely. My trauma list quote. “Don’t be shy, add some more”.

  • @julzbehr6696
    @julzbehr6696 Před 3 lety +3990

    Imagine this book but it’s written from Abby‘s perspective. She suffers domestic abuse from her father and also gets raped. Then we see her psychological trauma. She tries to find comfort from the school counselor, but when she finds out she’s pregnant and gets an abortion, the counselor turns on her. She doesn’t know how to find support, so she rushes into an relationship with jock 1. she writes him that she wants everyone to disappear. The relationship is very abusive, and she just wants out. She sees Greg as her savior and rushes into an unhealthy relationship with him where she sees him as infallible. Then the shooting happens and we she blames herself because of that note. Her dad gets arrested for drunken driving or something, so she moves in with Greg because his mum allows it. She confines in the mum who suggests she gets therapy and then sets her up with a therapist. She begins to heal and notices the unhealthy relationship between her and Greg.

    • @classichorrorenthusiast
      @classichorrorenthusiast Před 2 lety +609

      that... actually sounds like a really good plot-

    • @zinkheroofyoutube8004
      @zinkheroofyoutube8004 Před 2 lety +253

      I'd read that

    • @kelbyjane2654
      @kelbyjane2654 Před 2 lety +173

      i would probably read that

    • @thequeenofcringe1585
      @thequeenofcringe1585 Před 2 lety +108

      I would definitely read that

    • @quailure5173
      @quailure5173 Před 2 lety +478

      a decent plot, but from a writing standpoint, its way too much trauma for one story.
      in writing, when those types of experiences are one after another after another, it loses its impact and gets tiring. after a certain point it starts to feel like a torture porn.

  • @finalfroggitapproaches6418
    @finalfroggitapproaches6418 Před 3 lety +1841

    “I am convinced American schools aren’t run this bad. This has to be illegal.”
    In seventh grade, my bully of two years pulled a knife on me, pushed me against the lockers with the knife to my side and told me if I told on her again, she’d hunt me down and kill me. The security camera in the hallway caught it all. The vice principal told me and my mom that there was nothing he could do because “everyone is entitled to an education.” and maybe I should consider not going to the bathroom during class in case she was out in the hallway. Mom pressed charges against my bully and won.
    Also, my sister was also almost in a school shooting. (I had graduated from this high school three years earlier) The guy who had been beating up her and her friends sent a snapchat holding a rifle and the caption was a bunch of names and the date for the next Monday. My sister went to school early that day and cried with her friends, because she was sure that she was going to die once he showed up. I guess someone ratted him out because the police were there waiting for him once he got off the bus. He did indeed have a hunting rifle and a bowie(?) knife in his big gym bag.
    On a less “the school is at fault” note, my sister saw a kid die in outdoor education while snowboarding. He hit a bump wrong, broke his neck on impact, and died. At first, kids were laughing like “oh, haha Zach ate sh*t!” and when Zach didn’t get up, she said “there was this wave of ‘oh f*ck..’ that hit everyone all at once.” A lot of kids had to talk to the school councilor after that, my sister included.

    • @halinaqi2194
      @halinaqi2194 Před 2 lety +246

      Rest in peace zach

    • @echomikoart
      @echomikoart Před 2 lety +263

      What the actual fuck, that sounds like a living nightmare

    • @paradoxequinox4104
      @paradoxequinox4104 Před 2 lety +94

      @@echomikoart
      It's cause it is.

    • @snesguy9176
      @snesguy9176 Před rokem +145

      Yeah sounds about right. I got stabbed through my hand in 5th grade, during fucking class. I got a bunch of stitches, shit head stabber got a one day suspension.
      If I though about it long enough I could probably write out 20 similar ghetto school stories.

    • @thisstatementisfalsenothin5312
      @thisstatementisfalsenothin5312 Před rokem +70

      The most that happened at my school is that a kid tried to stab another kid with a pair of scissors
      And nothing happened to him
      Teachers sucked though

  • @kairea2152
    @kairea2152 Před 4 lety +5562

    "Your bones are not shaking, Gregory." Is the most underrated quote in all of lesbian history.

  • @Spyno41
    @Spyno41 Před 4 lety +14560

    This book is seriously the "I'm 14 and this is deep" meme unironically.

    • @BuddyHollyndaise
      @BuddyHollyndaise Před 4 lety +66

      Uncle Jimbo LMAOO

    • @HowardSalinger
      @HowardSalinger Před 4 lety +69

      Uncle Jimbo okay but it also feels like that “just another day in the life of Jemmy Nutrun 👂👁👄👁👂” video unironically

    • @DaDewd2112
      @DaDewd2112 Před 4 lety +28

      Yeah, the pretension level is off the spectrum

    • @magiconic
      @magiconic Před 4 lety +46

      @Zᴀᴛᴛᴇ Cᴏʀɪᴇ I'm 34 but act like I'm 14 and this is deep

    • @ellav8064
      @ellav8064 Před 4 lety +79

      @@magiconic I'm 34 and I'm attracted to 14 yr olds and this is deep

  • @LaLunaDeSangre
    @LaLunaDeSangre Před 3 lety +693

    Are we completely sure that this book isn't just an extremely exaggerated "Obama was there" meme?

    • @arizonagreenbee
      @arizonagreenbee Před 2 lety +56

      Consider: This book, but with the weird prophetic Obama from Tumblr dreams randomly

    • @inthegrass11
      @inthegrass11 Před 3 měsíci

      then perish

    • @Ryu1ify
      @Ryu1ify Před 16 dny

      ​@@arizonagreenbee You mean those dreams where he just shows up with a cigarette, says some poignant stuff, and wanders off?

  • @shadowdroid776
    @shadowdroid776 Před 3 lety +885

    I just realized this:
    This is a story about a marysue who's more powerful and traumatized than everyone else, who's dating a person that has issues with their past love, overly dramatic onomatopoeias, someone other than the main character doing shit while they just stand there watching, abusive parents and rape, and the main character is clearly a goth with a "nice and cheery" friend.
    This is My Immortal. This is what My Immortal looks like published.

    • @blueshell292
      @blueshell292 Před 2 lety +73

      Self-published, just so that we're clear

    • @coffeewolfproductions9113
      @coffeewolfproductions9113 Před rokem +169

      Honestly thats giving Onision too much credit, at least My Immortal was somewhat entertaining and was probably written by a 14 year old writing fanfiction in their free time and not a man in his 30s who thinks his books are hot shit.

    • @lils426
      @lils426 Před rokem +89

      @@coffeewolfproductions9113 yeah, my immortal was endearingly bad. Onion’s book is just bad

    • @kimgkomg
      @kimgkomg Před rokem +5

      @@coffeewolfproductions9113 is he actually in his 30s?

    • @gokuxsephiroth4505
      @gokuxsephiroth4505 Před rokem +20

      To be fair, it is pretty much the same level of "Published" as my immortal is - no publishing company ever laid a finger on this

  • @throckmorton1507
    @throckmorton1507 Před 5 lety +2616

    I love all the "then everyone clapped" moments lol

  • @stardustsunset4776
    @stardustsunset4776 Před 4 lety +2194

    "Am I going to read any of his other books?"
    "N O"
    recommended for you: the next two books

  • @alextricoverload
    @alextricoverload Před rokem +220

    Going back to this after watching the review of the 4th book and knowing that Abby is based on an actual girl who rejected Greg and that's why he wrote a fucking fanfiction about her makes this whole thing infinitely creepier.

    • @s0livagant_
      @s0livagant_ Před 10 měsíci +1

      OH MY GOD. 😨 greg is a fucking weirdo

    • @KanishQQuotes
      @KanishQQuotes Před 9 měsíci

      This is more pathetic than creepy considering she had the brain cells to see the obvious

    • @Quackervoltz
      @Quackervoltz Před 7 dny

      WHAT

  • @blossomnessstudios4446
    @blossomnessstudios4446 Před 3 lety +178

    I want you to know that my entire family qoutes "Hello, son. Come have some l e n t i l s for DINNER" EVERY DAY

  • @natsuki4021
    @natsuki4021 Před 4 lety +4366

    Her: The grammar is wrong, the plot isn't that great, the characters are poorly written, and some of the things don't make a lot of sense
    Greg: So you're literally making fun of my friend who died, apologise to me right now

    • @shosty575
      @shosty575 Před 4 lety +45

      🤣🤣🤣

    • @capeck1993
      @capeck1993 Před 4 lety +76

      Someguy827: She doesn't owe you shit, you waterhead asshole.

    • @vienowo
      @vienowo Před 4 lety +111

      Heʼs pulling a straw man

    • @williambenton6254
      @williambenton6254 Před 4 lety +156

      I don’t think he’s ever had a friend

    • @thedietcokeofevil1100
      @thedietcokeofevil1100 Před 4 lety +132

      I have never seen anyone gaslight and emotionally manipulate as much as he fucking does...

  • @assume5486
    @assume5486 Před 5 lety +5575

    I love how Greg responded to this video by insulting her appearance instead of taking advice and acknowledging her opinion. Classy.

    • @Xehanort10
      @Xehanort10 Před 5 lety +479

      From what I've heard of him he seems like the type of manchild whose only comeback to criticism is "Yeah? Well you're ugly."

    • @literallygaston2489
      @literallygaston2489 Před 5 lety +545

      Such a women-respecting feminist eh?

    • @literallygaston2489
      @literallygaston2489 Před 5 lety +195

      amazing grill It doesn’t really matter tho. Insulting someone’s appearance isn’t ok(unless they started it first I guess), especially as retaliation to constructive criticism. It makes you look both weak and like an asshole.

    • @whumpem
      @whumpem Před 5 lety +185

      @@literallygaston2489 you're completely right and I agree, greg has no point.

    • @Ray-hk1zm
      @Ray-hk1zm Před 5 lety +116

      @YourCommonLoser Ok I don't watch his videos so maybe I'm misinterpreting but did he actually make a freaking video rating the beauty of women on a scale of 1-10.

  • @Lincoln_Bio
    @Lincoln_Bio Před 3 lety +857

    I didn't know who Onision was going into this, so the most shocking part was about half way through when it was revealed that this was written by a 30 year old man.

    • @blueshell292
      @blueshell292 Před 3 lety +49

      I recommend the three videos going in-depth on Onision by The Right Opinion, of you wanna torture yourself.

    • @Lincoln_Bio
      @Lincoln_Bio Před 3 lety +61

      @@blueshell292 That is the very rabbit hole this video sent me on! Love TRO. These 'books' get ever more disturbing the more you know about Greg IRL, huh?

    • @natmorse-noland9133
      @natmorse-noland9133 Před rokem +16

      If I were drinking coffee I would've spit it all over my phone at that revelation.

    • @anti-usernamesaltaccount3623
      @anti-usernamesaltaccount3623 Před rokem +23

      HE’S A WHAT

    • @unhackerthelaziestbastardo6083
      @unhackerthelaziestbastardo6083 Před rokem +6

      @@Lincoln_Bio Like how he is talking about women and children, when he is a father. With a daughter

  • @ash-ez9yh
    @ash-ez9yh Před 3 lety +965

    Davis: I LOVE I WISH YOU WERE MY BOYFRIEND
    greg: ah yes my best buddy friend he was just friendly JOKING

    • @julesh9274
      @julesh9274 Před 3 lety +98

      Sapho and her *friend* vibes

    • @Life-uu5yo
      @Life-uu5yo Před 2 lety +78

      Look at us, kissing like F R I E N D S

    • @nathaliaelefsdrop7982
      @nathaliaelefsdrop7982 Před 2 lety +43

      Historians will say they were just friends

    • @loturzelrestaurant
      @loturzelrestaurant Před 2 lety +8

      @@Life-uu5yo Do you know 'Empress Theresa', the only book in existence
      that can RIVAL Onision?!?
      ?

    • @juliacaster6547
      @juliacaster6547 Před 2 lety +3

      "Little friendship kiss there"

  • @cicada.and.pomegranate
    @cicada.and.pomegranate Před 4 lety +2441

    The moral of this story is:
    Even if you are in an abusive relationship, and depressed and getting sexually assaulted, it can still get worse if your boyfriend is Onision

    • @florpleborp2275
      @florpleborp2275 Před 4 lety +96

      Hünré It’s time to leave before your boyfriend *turns into Onision.*

    • @godhatesme4055
      @godhatesme4055 Před 4 lety +71

      It’s time to leave before *you become onision*

    • @ishanisasdev3000
      @ishanisasdev3000 Před 4 lety +8

      Omg 😂😂😂 i lost it at this

    • @Anino_Makata
      @Anino_Makata Před 4 lety +37

      If Onion ever becomes my boyfriend (which is never in any of the 46,000,000,724 alternate timelines of this univserse), I would gladly plant ten shotgun slugs into his skull before he even thinks about asking me what my name is.

    • @prisoner9993
      @prisoner9993 Před 4 lety +3

      @@Anino_Makata sounds like you like king onion

  • @007crazyduck
    @007crazyduck Před 5 lety +3227

    This is the incel fantasy right here

    • @eineperson666
      @eineperson666 Před 5 lety +23

      I wouldn't say he's an incel. Rather a whiteknight ,,type 2":A niceguy under a shiny white armor.I mean, he's not a virgin...

    • @BumboLooks
      @BumboLooks Před rokem +5

      You clearly don't know what incel means haha.

    • @alexmuniz9286
      @alexmuniz9286 Před rokem +2

      @@BumboLooks haha.

  • @suetraptor2703
    @suetraptor2703 Před 2 lety +224

    the fact that the npcs have to be nice to greg because the writer deems it necessary reminds me of the ProZD skit "when you're an NPC whose script forces you to compliment the shitty player"

  • @Sub-Atomic
    @Sub-Atomic Před 2 lety +413

    Stones to Abigail, the revised version.
    "I'm not some broken item for you to fix Greg, my pain is not something for you to fall in love with."
    Greg suddenly looks very sheepish, now that it had actually been said he realized just how much of an absolute tool he was being. "You're right, I'm sorry, I shouldn't treat you like some object that I want to fix. You're a person, and I should treat you as one."
    And then they become friends, and Greg doesn't try and jump in her pants.
    This of course could only happen if Greg wasn't an absolute scumbag.

    • @damienearl8302
      @damienearl8302 Před rokem +29

      It is kinda hilarious though how he fully wrote out that first part, thought it over for at least the few seconds he would've needed to write a response, and that response was...
      Greg: but baaaabe, you're troma is hawt!
      Abby: yeah, I guess it kinda is when you put it like that!

    • @witherrose1566
      @witherrose1566 Před 7 měsíci

      The manchild of 40 admitted in another book Aeons covered, that "Abby" was a real person, and that person essentially did everything to avoid him after he wrote the stupid note.
      Which means this fucking asshat has been obsessing over the traumatized woman like it's a fetish, for the last 20+ years, to the point he wrote a sexual fantasy about a REAL person who wants nothing to do with him.

  • @TheBriBoat
    @TheBriBoat Před 4 lety +6239

    All the dislikes are onision in different wigs

  • @pillsevans2947
    @pillsevans2947 Před 5 lety +5075

    ~Normal angsty book plot~
    "Now we have arrived at the school shooting scene"
    THE *WHAT*

    • @cottage-core_
      @cottage-core_ Před 4 lety +36

      +

    • @confusedaf1112
      @confusedaf1112 Před 4 lety +109

      Sounds like something Onision would write.

    • @dixxiesk
      @dixxiesk Před 4 lety +58

      @@confusedaf1112 he's the exact type of edgelord to do that

    • @dizz4386
      @dizz4386 Před 4 lety +60

      You know a book is angsty when the school shooting scene isn’t even halfway over

    • @courtneycronin5074
      @courtneycronin5074 Před 4 lety +19

      Did u mean thirteen reasons why

  • @xFoxOne
    @xFoxOne Před rokem +238

    If I remember correctly. Onison wanted schools to use his literature for study. I will gladly do that by having my students rip his work to shreds. “Okay class. How do we fix this sentence?” “Is this how two characters would naturally react?” “And this kids, is what not to do when writing anything ever.”

    • @thefoxandthehound81
      @thefoxandthehound81 Před rokem +27

      i imagined a room full of random kids just like. ripping it. pages all over the desk and everything. that’d be a lot more effective than a school counselor

    • @xFoxOne
      @xFoxOne Před rokem +9

      @@thefoxandthehound81 now THAT! my good person. Is a wonderful idea! 😁

    • @noranizaazmi6523
      @noranizaazmi6523 Před rokem +12

      “Now children, this is what NOT to do when writing a book”

    • @noranizaazmi6523
      @noranizaazmi6523 Před rokem +8

      Woukd be a good book for moral studies

  • @ppapas6457
    @ppapas6457 Před 3 lety +328

    "Vaguely woman shaped cardboard cut out of a person" is The best sentence I've ever heard

  • @ianwood5715
    @ianwood5715 Před 3 lety +5371

    The real question is who was the poor gay child that had a crush on Greg when he was in high school who got written into this book

  • @finch4309
    @finch4309 Před 4 lety +3234

    this sounds like the fanfics that me and my friends write as a joke by passing the phone around and each writing one sentence so it ends up really dramatic and rambling and with the most confusing plot ever

    • @morganhurlock8506
      @morganhurlock8506 Před 4 lety +209

      This sounds like an epic party game omg

    • @finch4309
      @finch4309 Před 4 lety +171

      Morgan Hurlock it is lol. it’s fun at sleepovers at like 4 am once people are winding down a bit but still not asleep. you can do anywhere from one word each to like a paragraph each.

    • @arealperson9673
      @arealperson9673 Před 4 lety +75

      That sounds like it would write better than this book

    • @finch4309
      @finch4309 Před 4 lety +69

      Tankzilla1 Games, Guitar, and Random Shit
      yeah they end up pretty funny. we generally use our names for the characters. the first one we wrote was pretty much my immortals level though. it’s pretty bad. we put it on wattpad under the acct @oh_no_stop lol. we wrote it last year to pass time after we finished sback testing but before the day was over when we were just sitting in the gym bored.

    • @allisonelizabeth6596
      @allisonelizabeth6596 Před 4 lety +22

      @@finch4309 found it. Is it the one with surprised Pikachu as the profile pic?

  • @UraniumEater59
    @UraniumEater59 Před 3 lety +204

    as someone named Abigail, seeing that he spelled it like "Abbigale", makes me want to forcefully tear out my brain

    • @cloudysensation8406
      @cloudysensation8406 Před 3 lety +5

      I would be happy it's not the same as mine lol

    • @quinn.0
      @quinn.0 Před 3 lety +14

      if onision named a "love" intrest in one of his books anything similar to my name im changing it

    • @UraniumEater59
      @UraniumEater59 Před 3 lety +2

      @@quinn.0 yeah

    • @abidizzne892
      @abidizzne892 Před 2 lety +3

      As a fellow Abigail I vibe with this

    • @UraniumEater59
      @UraniumEater59 Před 2 lety +1

      @@abidizzne892 heck yeah

  • @pokemonparty101
    @pokemonparty101 Před 2 lety +564

    Very late but about the American school system:
    -At one point we had to write on the back of already graded papers bc the school didn’t have any
    -My friend’s ovary ruptured at school and was literally dying and the nurse told her she couldn’t send people home when they have their periods
    -The health teacher locked a girl in a closet for a class period and wasn’t even suspended for a semester
    Yeah, they’re pretty batshit

    • @daisymay156
      @daisymay156 Před 2 lety +18

      late to your late comment - but omg all of that sounds awful and I hope your friend was okay!

    • @JHyde-tv3if
      @JHyde-tv3if Před rokem +33

      Bruh I went to the nurse with severe ovary pain and an extremely heavy period (later revealed to be cysts) and she shrugged and gave me the thinnest pad. I had to go back to class, bleeding all over the place, and beg my mom to come get me.

    • @alecmullaney7957
      @alecmullaney7957 Před rokem +5

      Here's hoping you can leave the south and move to a part of the USA that isn't a part of the 3rd world

    • @kittencorp.3295
      @kittencorp.3295 Před rokem

      What area of the US?

    • @alecmullaney7957
      @alecmullaney7957 Před rokem +2

      @@kittencorp.3295 the south, clearly

  • @DrShaym
    @DrShaym Před 4 lety +9096

    He doesn't even format dialogue correctly. When a different character talks, you start a new paragraph.

    • @apoof4528
      @apoof4528 Před 4 lety +795

      Yes!
      No matter what, you have to change the dialogue when a character speaks.
      Another error, he has super cold writing. He needs to use some descriptive phrases.
      Jesus.

    • @carrotsaredumb7777
      @carrotsaredumb7777 Před 4 lety +64

      Hey I'm subscribed to you

    • @purpleemerald5299
      @purpleemerald5299 Před 4 lety +126

      Dr Shaym You’re my hero. Not for any of the right reasons, but you’re my hero nonetheless.

    • @Max_Unknown498
      @Max_Unknown498 Před 4 lety +28

      Yo what up I had no idea possums were literary masters. Jk luv your vids

    • @remiliascarletmybeloved
      @remiliascarletmybeloved Před 4 lety +11

      Oh hey it’s possum boy

  • @sungshineev8732
    @sungshineev8732 Před 5 lety +2049

    This is literally a fanfiction about himself in an Alternate universe I CAN’T WITH THIS GUY
    (edit: so many likes lmao im glad people agree)

    • @chuugummy975
      @chuugummy975 Před 5 lety +6

      Adam Hanson Greg has muscles? Lol

    • @SF-op5ix
      @SF-op5ix Před 5 lety

      Honestly me tho

    • @heathenpotato
      @heathenpotato Před 5 lety +16

      On one hand I agree, on the other, that’s just cruel to fanfiction tbh. Like, most fanfic writers have way higher standards than this garbage, unless we’re talking about like typical 12 year old wattpad content, in which case, yeah, that sounds pretty accurate

  • @TheWilderCat
    @TheWilderCat Před 2 lety +174

    I like how the President reveres Greg for doing nothing while Jock actually tackled the shooter. Like, there is a student who attempted to fight the guy and save himself and his classmates but it is not Greg, Mr. President.

  • @Magikal10
    @Magikal10 Před 3 lety +443

    "Im not convinced American schools are this badly run"
    >DEEP BREATH<
    an old friend had people pay them at lunch to run into/hit kids at recess
    I had a teacher send me to the principal for "reading too much"
    Another threated to send me to the principal for reading "too fast"
    Before graduating, I didnt know where Russia, China, Finland, Scotland, and more were on a map,
    Multiple people tried to start cults during recess's
    Monthly school sho*ter drills
    This one 2nd grade teacher said she had cancer for April fools,
    I was in school lunch debt for years
    Bus driver got fired for selling coc*ine
    And more....

    • @thequeenofcringe1585
      @thequeenofcringe1585 Před 2 lety +54

      My school went into lockdown for over an hour because of a bomb threat when I was in 11th grade.
      One kid was getting harassed by another kid and it took months for the school to do something about it.
      Students would brag about fucking in the janitor’s closets.
      Also when my brother was in 9th or 10th grade there were 3 separate bomb threats in 3 separate bathrooms. The 3rd one was in a staff bathroom, and all the bathrooms were closed for the rest of the year.

    • @xXAcidBathXx
      @xXAcidBathXx Před rokem +15

      The local highschool had to cancel everything and stand outside of the school because of a threat made towards a student

    • @dimitripapadopoulos3196
      @dimitripapadopoulos3196 Před rokem +22

      And that’s just last week!

    • @completely_normal111
      @completely_normal111 Před rokem +19

      A bus drove into our school once and everyone laughed about it even though people were in the hospital

    • @thedarklrd6714
      @thedarklrd6714 Před rokem +23

      @@thequeenofcringe1585 "three separate bomb threats in three separate bathrooms" is inexplicably hilarious to me

  • @duxwontobey4887
    @duxwontobey4887 Před 5 lety +2748

    Abby be like "I was born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning I break my legs, and every afternoon I break my arms. At night, I lie awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep."

    • @scribliez
      @scribliez Před 5 lety +175

      Amy thechubbylittlesatan i love that episode o f Spongebob im crying. It’s true tbh.

    • @xpeachpuffx
      @xpeachpuffx Před 5 lety +111

      I'm a writer... and Greg's formatting is appalling. EVERY CHARACTER IN A PARAGRAPH GETS THEIR OWN LINE OF DIALOGUE EACH TIME THEY SPEAK. UUUUGGGGHHHH

    • @ainastorm9056
      @ainastorm9056 Před 5 lety +197

      Greg be like: My friend actually was born with glass bones and paper skin, so you making fun of it equals to you making fun of my suffering friend. Think about that

    • @shannonbriggs100
      @shannonbriggs100 Před 5 lety +50

      5 words in and I instantly knew this was a spongebob reference.

    • @michiganman215
      @michiganman215 Před 5 lety +14

      Bob Sponge

  • @chaotikailuro2878
    @chaotikailuro2878 Před 4 lety +2581

    "I would not trust this woman with a god damn gerbil, never mind children's futures, and I have known her for two paragraphs." I love this sentence... so much.

    • @thelolitasystem6403
      @thelolitasystem6403 Před 3 lety +21

      Aparently this was about my teachers

    • @theFrench1111
      @theFrench1111 Před 3 lety +2

      I would like this comment, but I don't want to ruin the 666 likes-

    • @keczuppomidorek
      @keczuppomidorek Před 3 lety +15

      My gerbils aren't going anywhere near this onion boy in a wig

    • @theparrot6516
      @theparrot6516 Před 3 lety +6

      @@keczuppomidorek I read gerbils as genitals and I'm traumatized

    • @theparrot6516
      @theparrot6516 Před 3 lety +2

      @@keczuppomidorek I thought it was genitals because it's an onision video what can I expect.

  • @meganvincent5381
    @meganvincent5381 Před 3 lety +257

    "I read this whole book with the exception of the sex scenes" honestly, no one asked you to or wanted you to. No one should ever have to endure that kind of pain

  • @TheHorrorDevotee
    @TheHorrorDevotee Před 2 lety +183

    "I saw some blood and my classmates are dead, but most importantly, there's a girl in my bed."
    Fuck man, Dr. Seuss, you feeling okay bruh?

    • @thewhitesnake100
      @thewhitesnake100 Před rokem +5

      Of all the times I've seen this video I did NOT catch up to that rhyme.
      My fucking sides are In orbit

    • @illinoisgirldreaming9085
      @illinoisgirldreaming9085 Před rokem +13

      All of his books can be summed up with that one Dr Seuss meme that’s like “one bitch, two bitch, dead bitch, new bitch-“

    • @thewhitesnake100
      @thewhitesnake100 Před rokem +4

      @@illinoisgirldreaming9085 oh I hate how this made me laugh lol

  • @katierose8238
    @katierose8238 Před 4 lety +1990

    “The most sociopathic attempt at empathy I have ever read.” That should be on the back of the book 😂😂

    • @jetnagle8610
      @jetnagle8610 Před 3 lety +67

      Hello yes I am a person and I feel emotions and can relate to others because they, too, have feelings just like me

    • @Jrez
      @Jrez Před 3 lety +49

      Some of my picks for quotes:
      #deep
      "clearly supposed to be _romantic,_ but I would use the word _terrifying"_

    • @Sophia-vk5bq
      @Sophia-vk5bq Před 3 lety +9

      It is, right under the copyright.
      Copyrighted material.
      *The most sociopathic attempt at empathy I have ever read.*

    • @nnnnmhughuuhhjiijj9457
      @nnnnmhughuuhhjiijj9457 Před 3 lety +1

      Come on, Aeon, come on, do you even need to read this book, in order to know that part.

    • @gamehero6816
      @gamehero6816 Před 2 lety +3

      To be clear, people with ASPD are capable of empathy. There are multiple forms of empathy, if I'm correct most "sociopaths" (not even the right term) use cognitive empathy.

  • @my_name_is_toast95
    @my_name_is_toast95 Před 5 lety +4222

    "And then Obama told me i was a hero and the most amazing rollerblader alive"

    • @MrSuperbeast92
      @MrSuperbeast92 Před 5 lety +337

      "And everyone stood up and clapped. I was then given the keys to the planet."

    • @itsbunnz5295
      @itsbunnz5295 Před 5 lety +147

      “And everyone clapped”

    • @glitchinthesystem9949
      @glitchinthesystem9949 Před 5 lety +104

      AND EVERYONE CLAPPED

    • @Jogjosmowwdkfs
      @Jogjosmowwdkfs Před 5 lety +109

      @@glitchinthesystem9949 and then, while everyone clapped, (get this) everyone who was dead came back to life so they could clap too!1!!!

    • @hanthonyc
      @hanthonyc Před 5 lety +37

      i saw this comment like 3 minutes into the video, and was *still* floored when the story evolved to this point

  • @agraham9099
    @agraham9099 Před 11 měsíci +43

    “skin is just skin” is the most serial killer line i could imagine

  • @brokenXskullXbeyond
    @brokenXskullXbeyond Před 3 lety +160

    "Arousing Arms" is the new name for my mid-2000s style emo band.

  • @m1nate
    @m1nate Před 5 lety +500

    "I saw some blood and a bunch of my classmates are dead,
    But most importantly, there's a girl in my bed."
    Poetry.

    • @MagentaDystopia
      @MagentaDystopia Před 5 lety +27

      Milada Schekoldin onion boy is the best mary sue, featuring such events as the president came to my school and appreciates me and raised the schools funding and everuone clapped

  • @yusufkadar
    @yusufkadar Před 5 lety +11990

    Me: CZcams's reccomendation system is broken
    CZcams: Wanna see a lesbian yell at an onion for 30+ minutes
    Me: *NEVERMIND*

    • @karmatoses3326
      @karmatoses3326 Před 5 lety +80

      Yusuf Kadar 👏👏👏

    • @sam-sx8fg
      @sam-sx8fg Před 5 lety +780

      breaking news; local lesbian yells at onion

    • @clickytipsy7483
      @clickytipsy7483 Před 4 lety +96

      This is my new favorite comment.

    • @oliviafrank7463
      @oliviafrank7463 Před 4 lety +255

      This video started it all for me. The obsession, the questioning of my sexuality, the desire to run away to Toronto. All of it.

    • @spacean4832
      @spacean4832 Před 4 lety +59

      This is maybe the most relatable yt comment I've ever read

  • @jamie6506
    @jamie6506 Před 3 lety +130

    No no, the teacher shaming the kid for peeing under the desk part is accurate. Back in first grade (coincidentally also in art class), one of my classmates asked to go to the bathroom maybe 5 minutes into class. The teacher said no, she should have gone before, and she told her our core teacher didn't let her go either (which was true). The art teacher still refused, so she didn't go.
    Fast forward to the end of class, we're lining up to be escorted back to our homeroom, and someone asks why there's water on the floor. The classmate that asked to use the bathroom began crying and said "I really had to go..." and the art teacher just started yelling at her and asking her if she's a toddler, all that jazz.
    That isn't the only example of high key child abuse I dealt with or witnessed in school, but it's among the most ridiculous. Not letting a 6 or 7 year old go to the bathroom and then screaming at her in front of everyone when she has an accident? Classy as fuck, Mrs. Y.

  • @oscar-wp4sw
    @oscar-wp4sw Před 4 měsíci +17

    this book becomes way worse when you think about his latest book and you learn that he didn't actually get together with the girl he based this book on. he wrote her a weird letter, she got mad at him, and they never spoke again.
    she has no personality because greg literally didn't know anything about her. he saw one girl who brutally rejected him and decided to write a self insert fanfic in his 30s about a girl he knew of in grade school.

  • @mckenziedavis6888
    @mckenziedavis6888 Před 5 lety +5536

    Someone give this woman an award for actually reading this self insert nightmare

    • @WannabeSkywalker
      @WannabeSkywalker Před 5 lety +80

      Preach
      Also you notice that the narrator is a stalker and narcissist

    • @Luke-zv6bb
      @Luke-zv6bb Před 5 lety +24

      this video took so much effort

    • @rollfizzlebeef5384
      @rollfizzlebeef5384 Před 5 lety +68

      She’s the hero we need, but not the one we deserve.

    • @SoilderKrizer
      @SoilderKrizer Před 5 lety +11

      It sounds painful

    • @MrSuperbeast92
      @MrSuperbeast92 Před 5 lety +11

      @@SoilderKrizer You think That's bad? Poor Jaclyn Glen pity dated the emo onion...
      >_>

  • @artsycj9314
    @artsycj9314 Před 4 lety +2790

    *This book is just Greg trying to compliment himself through different characters.*

    • @thequeenofcringe1585
      @thequeenofcringe1585 Před 3 lety +52

      Aren’t all of his books, though?

    • @giasharie274
      @giasharie274 Před 3 lety +23

      @@thequeenofcringe1585 I haven’t read them but I wouldn’t doubt it.

    • @daniboy4153
      @daniboy4153 Před 3 lety +36

      In a nutshell
      These books are just a way for Onision to stroke his own fragile ego

    • @maddymantanona4348
      @maddymantanona4348 Před 3 lety +3

      his real name is james so definitely

    • @joshuarieder2865
      @joshuarieder2865 Před 3 lety +14

      This is the literary equivalent of liking and agreeing with yourself with sock puppet accounts. Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if he has done that already.

  • @throneisbed7833
    @throneisbed7833 Před 2 lety +81

    "Your bones were not shaken, *Gregory,"*
    A quote I never knew I needed, nor did I know I wanted it, and yet, somehow, it completes me.

  • @maryhall1671
    @maryhall1671 Před 3 lety +282

    "I'm not convinced American schools are this badly run."
    One student at my old school tore down a poster hung up on the window outside the drama instructor's office that stated her classroom is "a safe space for LGBTQ+ youth" and threatened to bring his pastor to her office if she put it back up. She cried bc she was a relatively young teacher who didnt know how to deal with the assholery of Southern Pentecostal children who got their political ideologies from their braindead parents and then got fired for being unprofessional. A different student had a bigass confederate flag mounted to the tailgate of his truck and was never told to take it down. Recently a fight broke out at my old high school bc a visiting basketball team was comprised of mostly black students and some of our students called them the n word a bunch of times. My old school is also not IEP compliant.

    • @alecmullaney7957
      @alecmullaney7957 Před rokem +11

      Sorry you had to live in the deep south. However, please don't use the south as an example of the US. Most of the US isn't as bad as the south is (despite Republicans hard work trying to drag the rest of the country down)

    • @guytrashgurtdog
      @guytrashgurtdog Před rokem +7

      Sounds like my old high school, except it was in southern NJ 😐 shits the same everywhere sadly

    • @guytrashgurtdog
      @guytrashgurtdog Před rokem +23

      @@alecmullaney7957 and even then there’s a lot of good to the south, racist white people do NOT represent all of the south. Southern culture can be beautiful and was created mainly by poc, especially black people.
      And also the rest of America that isn’t the south can be just as racist, homophobic, transphobic, sexist, ableist, etc. Coming from someone who’s always lived in the north and traveled in both the north and south. Being a very visibly trans gay disabled person who’s very flamboyant I kinda get treated like trash everywhere. Yeah maybe parts of the south are definitely worse, but I feel like a lot of people in the rest of the country love to just point to the south to deflect from the fact that they’re extremely bigoted and unsafe as well. It’s really the whole country. Our country isn’t built for anyone that’s not a cishet, able bodied, neurotypical white man.

    • @guytrashgurtdog
      @guytrashgurtdog Před rokem +6

      @@johannsebastianbach5223 d word

    • @blizzard_the_seal9863
      @blizzard_the_seal9863 Před rokem

      @@johannsebastianbach5223 go rot in a hole, no one thinks you’re funny

  • @thefloweringinferno1170
    @thefloweringinferno1170 Před 4 lety +3818

    There’s like four characters in this book, Greg, not Greg, teacher, and Jock. Everyone is just a copy of one of those.

  • @petermatchim1200
    @petermatchim1200 Před 5 lety +4131

    Abby or abbi sounds like she could get adopted by one direction in a Wattpad fan fiction

    • @masonbrushwood4242
      @masonbrushwood4242 Před 5 lety +80

      Peter Matchim PFFFFTT I- 🗿

    • @anarchomando7707
      @anarchomando7707 Před 5 lety +228

      @@masonbrushwood4242 I think that's an insult to one Direction Wattpad FanFictions.

    • @CountKatula
      @CountKatula Před 5 lety +325

      Definitely! She also sounds like a “aw, man, dad sold me into slavery again!” Character lol

    • @isiabet8049
      @isiabet8049 Před 5 lety +48

      N O O N E I S S A F E

    • @vicg.3829
      @vicg.3829 Před 4 lety +61

      Why do I know exactly what you're talking about this is insulting-

  • @vincentsinclair7749
    @vincentsinclair7749 Před 2 lety +210

    This is the only time where "onions have layers" is a lie.
    It's all just shallow, uncomfortable edgy/"deep" monologuing all the way down

    • @Zero-ds9ws
      @Zero-ds9ws Před 2 lety +13

      Well, the onion does have layers in this case.
      Problem is, the onion is rotten.

    • @illinoisgirldreaming9085
      @illinoisgirldreaming9085 Před rokem +7

      It’s onion soup in a shallow, parking lot puddle. No layers, no nuance, just the fact that if you trip on it your feet will smell like onions and you’ll eat shit because no only is this a slippery surface, it’s a slippery surface that hates you and everyone else who is not Greg-

    • @SingingSealRiana
      @SingingSealRiana Před 10 měsíci +1

      There are layers, it just gets worse and worse and worse

  • @doctorclydesdale2805
    @doctorclydesdale2805 Před 3 lety +160

    I'm late to the party but I once had a teacher fail me for an entire school year by "losing" my papers and then losing literal folders of that quarters redone work.
    He was quitting due to heart problems so my school counselor told me to quit complaining.
    The American education system is BEYOND poorly run

  • @petitelitas
    @petitelitas Před 5 lety +10379

    Coming from a 14 year old, this sounds like something I would expect one of my close friends to write on wattpad

    • @leeleestone3672
      @leeleestone3672 Před 5 lety +297

      @Thy Countess Haha. Fool! still on ff.net? Weak! Wait till you make it to A 0 3. It's not ready

    • @buzzybeez204
      @buzzybeez204 Před 5 lety +32

      Honestly yeah

    • @rebecca-kz8yo
      @rebecca-kz8yo Před 5 lety +60

      All of my friends did that when we were in middle school

    • @madampawsy1903
      @madampawsy1903 Před 5 lety +31

      There was no need to tell us ur age but I mean :^> you're right lmao

    • @hizkias2679
      @hizkias2679 Před 5 lety +66

      @@leeleestone3672 nahhhh ao3 is for good fics only

  • @samnelius
    @samnelius Před 5 lety +1789

    brb changing my tinder bio to "i have a sad life and arousing arms"

  • @amityislandchum
    @amityislandchum Před 3 lety +79

    I actually thought you were referencing some meme when you said, "Greg roller skates into the school shooting," but HOLY SHIT HE ACTUALLY WROTE THAT.

  • @basil_is_unstable6613
    @basil_is_unstable6613 Před rokem +69

    "american high schools can't be this bad"
    my school had two bomb threats, a shooting threat, a crumbling building, numerous drug scandals with dogs being brought to the building, three hospitalizations, a teacher hit a kid and taped another's mouth shut but still being brought back, and three teachers put on leave for racism all within the span of a year and a half.

    • @danielgonzalez5787
      @danielgonzalez5787 Před rokem

      did you call in the threats? 😆

    • @NextWeeek
      @NextWeeek Před rokem

      My school had 5 deaths, a bomb threat, a murder suicide and more. I fucking hate this country

  • @Failed.stealth.check.
    @Failed.stealth.check. Před 4 lety +15309

    I want a movie adaptation of this book where everyone's played by onision in different wigs with a budget of 5$ and a rubber band

    • @daniboy4153
      @daniboy4153 Před 4 lety +1172

      It would be a box office bomb, but have a cult following because people would make fun of it a lot

    • @PosthumanHeresy
      @PosthumanHeresy Před 4 lety +688

      Everyone played by Tommy Wiseau playing Greg doing it. It'll be far better made.

    • @caisis4929
      @caisis4929 Před 4 lety +403

      You mean his channel?

    • @Failed.stealth.check.
      @Failed.stealth.check. Před 4 lety +308

      @@caisis4929 yeah but with crappy special effects

    • @StardustLegend
      @StardustLegend Před 4 lety +381

      everyone being played by onision implies hiring onision and paying onision to film as an actor. Instead we should just hire tommy wiseau like PosthumanHeresy suggested

  • @callmebecauseIvehitagreatdepre

    ‘And then there’s the school shooting scene’
    T H E W H A T

    • @ameliagrady
      @ameliagrady Před 4 lety +61

      "he took off his rollerblades"
      fuckin *_P A R D O N_*

    • @shanegrele
      @shanegrele Před 4 lety +30

      I feel like there should be a trope called "And then there was a school shooting."

    • @lunarmy1336
      @lunarmy1336 Před 4 lety +3

      I had the EXACT same reaction

    • @ihatetwinks99
      @ihatetwinks99 Před 4 lety +9

      call me 1929 because I’ve hit a great depression
      I’m sorry, your username is great-

  • @xenon8927
    @xenon8927 Před 3 lety +76

    the sentence "your bones were not shaken, gregory" has a powerful energy. I don't know what it is, but it's powerful.

  • @smell-of-rain-and-coffee4041

    One thing I noticed as an older adult: No matter how batshit off the rails crazy a story from a teenage perspective is, they do have a good, hard grasp on their teachers. A lot of these people are questionable, and the kids know. It's their reality, and they have to move around in it, and just have to accept stuff that would be outrageous in the workplace.

  • @twitch4220
    @twitch4220 Před 4 lety +6096

    Can we talk about the fact that abbigale is his daughters name? *projectile vomits*

    • @emperoroftheomniverse
      @emperoroftheomniverse Před 4 lety +643

      come again nigga?

    • @xenon8927
      @xenon8927 Před 4 lety +930

      HE HAS A DAUGHTER? WHO AGREED TO BE WITH HIM?

    • @twitch4220
      @twitch4220 Před 4 lety +527

      @@xenon8927 he has 2 kids with Kai 😞

    • @twitch4220
      @twitch4220 Před 4 lety +495

      @@emperoroftheomniverse I wish I was joking.. Dude is a total creep.

    • @xenon8927
      @xenon8927 Před 4 lety +101

      @@twitch4220 Who is Kai?

  • @kellimoore6967
    @kellimoore6967 Před 5 lety +3590

    this entire video sounded like a friend telling you about a fever dream they had. absolutely love it

    • @ethansics9400
      @ethansics9400 Před 5 lety +153

      That’s because it *is* a narcissist’s wet dream

    • @mellomocha1251
      @mellomocha1251 Před 5 lety +104

      POV: your weird lesbian friend who you love talks about her dream for half an hour

    • @Kokiicat
      @Kokiicat Před 5 lety +6

      omg ikr it sounds like one of the fever dreams i would have

    • @whatthefridge1o1
      @whatthefridge1o1 Před 5 lety +4

      Same

    • @whatthefridge1o1
      @whatthefridge1o1 Před 5 lety +8

      This makes it ten times funnier

  • @mariana-cross5403
    @mariana-cross5403 Před 3 lety +148

    This reminded me of Diary of a Wimpy Kid (sociopathic unaware self-insert lead, cinnamon roll best friend, pretty love interest main character is obsessed with). At least in Diary of A Wimpy kid they acknowledged Greg’s shitty actions, even if there weren’t any consequences for them, and gave the side characters a personality outside of Greg.

  • @FandomRoyalty
    @FandomRoyalty Před rokem +40

    Every scene in this book feels like it needs "and then everyone clapped" at the end.

  • @iris5478
    @iris5478 Před 3 lety +6373

    the real hero here was the bus driver who saw a chance to save us from Greg and he took it

    • @wandanemer2630
      @wandanemer2630 Před 3 lety +91

      Agree.

    • @oublie-moi
      @oublie-moi Před 3 lety +49

      Yepp

    • @left-2-write28
      @left-2-write28 Před 2 lety +251

      The thing is, that makes infinitely more sense than the bus driver actually letting him off into the shooting for literally any other reason.

    • @ihatetwinks99
      @ihatetwinks99 Před 2 lety +25

      OFF TOPIC BUT I LIKE YOUR SHI QINGXUAN PROFILE PIC!!

    • @iris5478
      @iris5478 Před rokem +13

      @@ihatetwinks99 THANK YOU

  • @bekahsue418
    @bekahsue418 Před 5 lety +11178

    sounds a lot like Onion boy fetishizes trauma victims.. thats all im saying...

    • @vreaum
      @vreaum Před 5 lety +326

      it really does sound like that 🤔🤔🤔

    • @CarbonCxck
      @CarbonCxck Před 5 lety +369

      It absolutely is that.

    • @Eevee_Haze
      @Eevee_Haze Před 5 lety +311

      I mean did you expect anything different from him lmao

    • @PhillT1988
      @PhillT1988 Před 5 lety +495

      He loves to prey on young girls with troubled pasts, so he can swoop in as the ''white night in shining armor'' and ''save'' them.

    • @theblackbaron4119
      @theblackbaron4119 Před 5 lety +406

      He's insecure , so he tries to surround himself with as many broken people as possible. To look better in comparison. Also he suffers from the "protagonist of the universe" syndrome. He thinks that he's the only thinking and the only one that's selfaware.

  • @unknownuser3926
    @unknownuser3926 Před 3 lety +58

    I was the edgy loner kid with poor social skills who got bullied in school, but I never had this pathetic of a fantasy about getting the perfect girl, saving her from the abusive boyfriend, ect. Compared to Onion boy I'm a chad and I find that terrifying

  • @shadowofsocialawkwardness4900

    “A sad backstory and arousing arms”
    The tragic part is that you have described not only Abbi to a T, but also every other love interest in his books and about half the characters

  • @EnderCorePL
    @EnderCorePL Před 4 lety +5025

    Mom, can we have a Diary of a Wimpy Kid?
    Mom: No, we have Diary of a Wimpy Kid at home
    Diary of a Wimpy Kid at home:

    • @Nobody-qk4xu
      @Nobody-qk4xu Před 4 lety +151

      It's literally the diary of a wimpy kid

    • @jmiddleton7518
      @jmiddleton7518 Před 4 lety +126

      Nobody Yeah cause Greg is a sociopath.

    • @TheBonkleFox
      @TheBonkleFox Před 4 lety +127

      Onion boy is Fregley in an emo phase

    • @DyingLettuceLMAO
      @DyingLettuceLMAO Před 4 lety +112

      Don’t insult the diary of a wimpy kid like that! It doesn’t deserve it! I don’t even like this book, but it doesn’t deserve it

    • @mehgreyson
      @mehgreyson Před 4 lety +50

      Ender CorePL
      Hey don’t disrespect Diary of a Wimpy Kid like that

  • @lizkavanagh
    @lizkavanagh Před 5 lety +11139

    she sacrificed her brain cells to save ours ;( you’re a hero. thank you 😔🤘🏻

  • @ideitbawxproductions1880
    @ideitbawxproductions1880 Před 3 lety +59

    "every man in her life is clearly disgusting and abusive, except for Greg who can do no wrong..."
    cut to OnionBoy pelting Shiloh with candy corn & harassment while laughing at her misery

  • @nate4126
    @nate4126 Před 3 lety +57

    This book is more self-inserty then those actual self insert books on wattpad.

  • @rebeccab.3748
    @rebeccab.3748 Před 4 lety +1660

    "i read onision's entire book"
    not all heroes wear capes

    • @vizthex
      @vizthex Před 3 lety +35

      this one wears glasses though, that's close enough

    • @lill.2795
      @lill.2795 Před 3 lety +12

      But she wears her own son as a scarf 😉

    • @mariahgumm8314
      @mariahgumm8314 Před 3 lety +9

      I think she should wear a cape. It would suit her.

    • @ChefBrownSauce
      @ChefBrownSauce Před 3 lety +6

      Truly a modern hero

    • @diamondfox1178
      @diamondfox1178 Před 3 lety +1

      All gave some, some gave all. Aeon gave all.

  • @Exceltiaawesome
    @Exceltiaawesome Před 4 lety +3760

    He has the mindset of someone who never left their edgy angsty teen phase

    • @infiresman2974
      @infiresman2974 Před 4 lety +81

      The accuracy is scary

    • @lilacamaris518
      @lilacamaris518 Před 4 lety +31

      The fact that your user is “Sprite” and the other person who replied is “Infires Man” is really funny to me (I’m a fellow ARMY)-
      Also, this is terrifyingly accurate.

    • @prodigycps8871
      @prodigycps8871 Před 4 lety +4

      @@lilacamaris518 I hate snakeu 🐍

    • @nellfromhell7192
      @nellfromhell7192 Před 4 lety +40

      Hey that's doing angsty teens dirty

    • @theormostat
      @theormostat Před 4 lety +26

      i feel like the phase just got worse for him

  • @thetwelfthuwu1492
    @thetwelfthuwu1492 Před rokem +14

    My brain immediately translated "Your bones are not shaking, Gregory" into the Rockstar Freddy voice

  • @perhapsafrog
    @perhapsafrog Před rokem +22

    coming back to this after hearing you read his "autobiography" has to be the wildest trip ive taken this year. hoping the girl he based this on never finds out because how uncomfortable 😭

    • @r0de
      @r0de Před rokem +3

      It's wild and I love it lol
      Makes it similar to watching a series or book after knowing the great Twist and going back to seeing all the little clues
      Just in this case it's not clues, but Onionboy being unimaginably pathetic

  • @idontlikeyoulol16
    @idontlikeyoulol16 Před 4 lety +2641

    He’s basically just writing fanfictions about himself.

    • @moonchild7172
      @moonchild7172 Před 4 lety +66

      It's because no one does it so he has to boost himself you know 🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @idontlikeyoulol16
      @idontlikeyoulol16 Před 4 lety +13

      Kitty Kat Hahaha

    • @maiajoyb
      @maiajoyb Před 4 lety +5

      Honestly true

    • @edswemissyou9186
      @edswemissyou9186 Před 4 lety +11

      Karen why aren’t you at your antivaxx parade?

    • @IX4W
      @IX4W Před 4 lety +19

      Even fanfics have standards.

  • @sarahgonzalez162
    @sarahgonzalez162 Před 5 lety +1832

    “And then Obama shows up”
    This is like a 2013 Fanfic, do they also get sold to One Direction 😂

    • @yesieatedbutnosoap6927
      @yesieatedbutnosoap6927 Před 5 lety +66

      Yeah but now they get sold to BTS 😂😂

    • @Fujisaur
      @Fujisaur Před 5 lety +53

      And then they touch butts and each others butts touching butts.

    • @katty_7118
      @katty_7118 Před 5 lety +33

      Nah they get sold to mcr bc that's dEEp

    • @user-xv6ig8tu9b
      @user-xv6ig8tu9b Před 5 lety +10

      @@Fujisaur Sounds like Tina from Bob's Burger's 💀💀

    • @Taikofan04
      @Taikofan04 Před 5 lety +7

      Fujisaur I understood that reference

  • @RissaFaith94
    @RissaFaith94 Před 2 lety +33

    This book sounds like an unintentional case study in all the things experienced writers tell new writers NOT to do under any circumstances.

  • @sc3344
    @sc3344 Před rokem +25

    coming back to this after the review of the onions Newest book and realizing how much Abby actually *hated* greg makes this 1000x more creepier

  • @guyofminimalimportance7
    @guyofminimalimportance7 Před 4 lety +1461

    Friendly reminder that Onision described his character in the book as a "better version of himself". This creep is supposed to be better than the real Onision...

    • @guyofminimalimportance7
      @guyofminimalimportance7 Před 4 lety +142

      @Alex Evans Yes. If you look at the descriptions of each book in the Onion Boy trilogy, he explains how all of them were inspired by his youth; and how the protagonist in each one is a different interpretation of himself. In this one the protagonist is supposed to be him, but better, so that he can do more dramatic or important stuff. In the next book, the hero's supposed to be "the worst version of himself" even though the book still portrays him as being smarter than everyone else, and it even ends with one character saying he was the best man she ever knew. Then the Final book, where he has a teenage girlfriend when he's a child and kills God is supposed to be the truest version of himself. I wish I was making this up.

    • @johnjohnthetauntaun
      @johnjohnthetauntaun Před 4 lety +49

      A Spoopy Scaley Scary Man
      In a word: Yikes.
      In two words: Big yikes.

    • @aliceduanra7539
      @aliceduanra7539 Před 4 lety +11

      ewwwwww

    • @AverageAwesomeDude
      @AverageAwesomeDude Před 4 lety +14

      Guy of Minimal Importance hmm and I thought it might be a bit too weird writing myself into a scene of a story I’m writing as some drunk passed out alone on a bar table, and that was it for the character. But now i feel a lot better about that.
      The story is fantasy grimdark comedy if anyone was wondering for context

    • @guyofminimalimportance7
      @guyofminimalimportance7 Před 4 lety +22

      @Average Awesome
      Just having a cameo in your own book wouldn't be that weird, especially if it's just a one off thing and not a major plot point. the concept of a self insert is not fundamentally flawed. Honestly even writing a fictional memoir of sorts like this where a fictional character like you goes through similar events that you did would still be fine. The important thing about a story like this is that it has to be written without ego, acknowledging the flaws of your personality as well as your strengths, explaining how you became the person you are today. It honestly can be a good tool for self discovery by applying your own circumstances to a fictional character and seeing how you think of them from a third person perspective.
      The problem with Onion Boy's books is that all of his self inserts are portrayed as perfect; characters go out of their way to acknowledge how great he is and praise him. for God's sake he wrote in a chapter where the POTUS arrives and calls him a national hero. Most importantly his protagonists never change; despite being a coming of age story "James" never grows as a person, he's perfect from start to finish. In the next book his self insert is just a cool edgy boy who's morally questionable actions are only seen as sexy and defiant of cultural norms, in his final book his main character becomes more powerful than God himself, defeating both God, The Grim reaper, God's backup self; and then reforming all of creation to his design without ever making a wrong decision.
      A well written self insert gives an author a reason to reexamine themselves as a person, or simply express thier passion for something. His self inserts just serve to demand praise form the reader.

  • @lilywerner8254
    @lilywerner8254 Před 4 lety +1788

    YOU KNOW WHATS SO FUNNY? GREG CHANGED HIS GODDAMN NAME TO JAMES. HE LITERALLY GOES BY JAMES NOW. IM GOING TO CRY ITS SO PERFECT.

    • @PaganGoose
      @PaganGoose Před 4 lety +107

      Lily Werner excuse me he did WHAT

    • @feuko6889
      @feuko6889 Před 4 lety +128

      @@PaganGoose If I'm not mistaken he legally changed his name to James.

    • @daniboy4153
      @daniboy4153 Před 4 lety +80

      Well he did say his books are self publishing and are based on him

    • @ruhrohreaper
      @ruhrohreaper Před 4 lety +33

      LMAO WHAT-

    • @DaVeganZombie
      @DaVeganZombie Před 4 lety +184

      There are multiple times across all books where he accidentally calls his character "Greg" instead of their proper name.
      He's just self-inserting himself in to these. And for the way I've seen him try to talk to underage teen girls about School Shootings and usually only tries to talk to damaged girls... He's trying to cause school shootings in some way...

  • @KasenSpace
    @KasenSpace Před 3 lety +74

    I wrote a book called Outcasts when I was 13 and self published it on Amazon and Kindle when I was 17 and it’s still better than all of Onision’s books combined... this may say something about his intellect...

  • @nanciedrew7740
    @nanciedrew7740 Před 2 lety +207

    i to would like to believe american schools aren’t this bad, but here are some tales from my two years of junior high alone:
    (TW for suicide attempts, drugs, SA, and teen pregnancy)
    -girl got pregnant halfway through her 8th grade year
    -we went on lock down twice (once because someone said they we gonna shot their ex girlfriend, and the other time because someone said they were gonna set off a bomb at third period)
    -had the fire alarm pulled at least once a week
    -one kid i knew but wasn’t friends with ended up being a rapist and then he switched schools
    -i once hear our dean say “g*d i hate children” (great career choice lauren!)
    -girl got jumped and stabbed outside the school
    -kids would just,,, walk off campus,,, in front of teachers,,, the oldest kids there were 14
    -teacher would regularly yell at kids to the point they would break down crying and he only got tiered after he called a kid the n word
    -my friend regularly got death threats after they were outed as trans and when he brought this up to the school with the names of people who have been threatening him they told him to just “deal with it”
    -kids would bear knuckle box at the park down the street every day after school, sometimes they would also do it in the bathrooms (they all sucked at it)
    -one of my friends got expelled and went to juvie for selling meth on school grounds
    -i knew 6 different kids who tried to kill themselves (lucky none of them succeed)
    -kids would regularly steal from the teachers
    -they had to close off the private practice rooms in the music building because kids were smoking weed (honestly the tamest thing that happened in there lmao)
    -some kid set a trash can on fire after they panicked and threw their juul in there after teachers went in to search the bathroom
    -kid passed bout pot brownies at lunch right before we all started state testing
    -dudes would stand outside the school passing out these tiny bibles to the students trying to convert them
    -school nurse would often insult people when they came in for anything saying that we should be able to just deal with it. (one kid came in with a broken ankle and she gave him ice and made him go back to PE)
    -one girl physically assaulted our vice principal
    -teachers would make girls come up to the front of the class and bend over to check skirt lengths
    -and there are a bunch of other stories about shit kids did off of campus but that a whole different (and worse!) ballgame
    (also i was a student assistant in the office so i probably hear about more things then other student but holy shit, that school was hell)

    • @Adrian_1114
      @Adrian_1114 Před 2 lety +9

      I'm sorry you lived through this but I would love owning a tiny bible

    • @user-ix4il2ql2v
      @user-ix4il2ql2v Před rokem +4

      how are people passing out bibles in any way comparable to the rest lol

    • @spinecho609
      @spinecho609 Před 11 měsíci

      Imagine stranger adults were handing out tiny Quran to the kids if that helps you understand

    • @GregoryMom
      @GregoryMom Před 10 měsíci

      Damn, you should write nonfiction. I'd read your life.

  • @donnylurch4207
    @donnylurch4207 Před 5 lety +1757

    "Skin is just skin. It is what it is."
    *jacks up the contrast to look like he's still 18*

    • @lalakuma9
      @lalakuma9 Před 4 lety +101

      I mean, based on how this book goes down, I'm convinced that intellectually he's about 12.

    • @lobeliaowl2482
      @lobeliaowl2482 Před 4 lety +76

      That line is basically "oh, yes, the floor here is made out of f l o o r", but with Gerg trying to throw in some r/im14andthisisdeep.
      His writing makes my (thankfully never published) wattpad harry potter fan fiction I wrote when I was 12 look like amazing literature.

    • @lobeliaowl2482
      @lobeliaowl2482 Před 4 lety +20

      @Emily Barclay Cool hahaha
      I call him Gerg since GREG is already the name of the fastest growing army on CZcams (or Danny Gonzalez' fanbase), also Greg is the first name from a CZcamsr I quite like, Armoured Skeptic, and best, the name Gerg just sounds like something a swamp beast who destroyed his own swamp would be named, which fits amazingly.

    • @lobeliaowl2482
      @lobeliaowl2482 Před 4 lety +1

      @Emily Barclay Exactly! The name is such a nice one, and Gerg is anything but nice, so it doesn't fit at all

    • @kalebpinkston3495
      @kalebpinkston3495 Před 4 lety +4

      That’s like the most pretentious thing I’ve ever heard. He’s like John Lennon. He says a lot of pretentious crap, thinking he’s deep and intellectually superior to everyone. The only difference is John Lennon’s pretentious crap at least sounded deep at 1st before you sat down to think about it. Onision just makes everybody face palm.

  • @gabbyabbott4965
    @gabbyabbott4965 Před 5 lety +548

    Greg hates and rants about girls who cut themselves. But here he is romanticizing Abby’s self harm scars.

    • @Ash-gc9rx
      @Ash-gc9rx Před 5 lety +59

      and wait till he says that it's ironic the whole time even though he obviously takes it seriously

    • @jtallen6406
      @jtallen6406 Před 4 lety +3

      Anything to make himself feel powerful.

  • @ihavelemonade5640
    @ihavelemonade5640 Před 3 lety +40

    WAIT. He really ROLLERBLADED into the school? I thought you just said it as an expression, i didn't think he'd actually-

  • @annieetc.563
    @annieetc.563 Před 2 lety +26

    this is an inspirational video to me, as someone with adhd and dyslexia, the thought of writing a story always seemed impossible. but hey, it couldn't be worse than this, so there's that.

  • @JessicaMcCamley
    @JessicaMcCamley Před 5 lety +1534

    When you said "we're only halfway through this book" I nearly choked on my fries because there have already been 12 PLOT LINES ALREADY THIS IS WORSE THAN RIVERDALE

  • @charlie2.048
    @charlie2.048 Před 5 lety +3217

    "And then we get to the school shooting scene."
    The WHAT?

    • @noizcomplaint4559
      @noizcomplaint4559 Před 5 lety +91

      I had the same reaction

    • @Jogjosmowwdkfs
      @Jogjosmowwdkfs Před 5 lety +141

      You heard her, other Charlie

    • @ianhickox3006
      @ianhickox3006 Před 5 lety +68

      @@Jogjosmowwdkfs underrated comment. ive been stressed as fuck lately and I dont know why but this post made things ok for just a little bit

    • @onettaviator5396
      @onettaviator5396 Před 5 lety +16

      As soon as i read your comment, she mentioned it

    • @lennoxvazquez
      @lennoxvazquez Před 5 lety +11

      Omfg as soon as I read your comment, she said it. And I had the same reaction to the comment and when she said it. What?!!

  • @Gamer_Rade
    @Gamer_Rade Před 3 lety +31

    "and then they all clapped."
    That's how these books should end.

  • @fearofthechippan
    @fearofthechippan Před rokem +13

    22:36 I spat my cereal at the “look at my VEGETARIAN BODAYYYYYY” jumpscare, thanks for that 😂😂😂