How Do You Confront Toxic Family Members?
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- čas přidán 17. 02. 2022
- Sometimes, family hurts. Today, we hear from a man whose deadbeat stepson won’t leave his home, a woman whose father joined a biker gang and is now using meth after his messy divorce, as well as parents struggling to forgive their daughter-in-law after her affair.
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What do you call a bear with no teeth ???
A gummy bear lol
The female that called in about her abusive father and mother getting divorced. The abuser sounds like he is being forced to face reality and he’s acting up. I wish the mom ended the married before she cheated. Also, how is it cheating when the husband is physically and verbally and financially abusive? What is she cheating on? Or who? Abuse is unacceptable and there is no marriage while abuse is happening? How is that a marriage ? I’m sick and tired of domestic violence not being taken seriously for what it is! It’s betrayal , it’s a crime !
There is NO marriage in that situation!
Looking forward to more content. I recommend you to tons of people! You’re one of my favorite CZcams channels. Great info and advice.
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Hoarding is in part a medical illness on the anxiety disorder spectrum, not a character defect, although it LOOKS like a character issue. The support group AKiN helps families who have a severe mental illness. We had a similar situation.
Suzanne: "I wasn't supposed to tell anyone about this"
3k people and counting
She probably has a fake name.
Dear John, thanks!
I'm so tired of people using ADHD like it's a handicap. My son has it and he's doing a career where he can be extremely active and he loves it. He's s full time firefighter and a volunteer firefighter. That's no excuse!
Everyone's ADHD is not the same..
great job
Michael and his wife need to get the hoarder stepson out as soon as possible. The stepson will never clean up. Stop relying on him to change (unless the stepson takes the correct steps to get help for his hoarding issue). If Michael needs this house as part of his plans for retirement for him and his wife then kick the stepson out now before he destroys the home and your plans. Most hoarders destroy homes with their hoarding.
If I had the money I who'd love to be a hoarder but like a cool collector hoarding
Wasn't the "spin out" question also asking why it means that? I would guess it comes from the automotive origin/use of the phrase. If tires start to lose grip/traction (like on snow/ice or hydroplaning) some people instinctively accelerate harder, which can result in a complete skid/loss of control where steering also is completely ineffective.
Meth is highly addictive! And he is an addict by this time if he has lost 100lbs. Trust me, I’m a mother of a son that is addicted to meth.
My son told me this when he was sober. Someone in active addiction ONLY focuses on themselves and their next hit.
Your brothers are in serious danger ⚠️. Those kids will know he is high or coming down etc. Meth also can make people highly agitated and can snap and act out violently. My son is not violent… but if he’s using he definitely can be and it’s scary.
Please get authorities involved and get help for yourself. And help get support for your brother’s too.
My heart breaks for you…. ❤️🙏🏼
Why do they do John dirty with his o face in the thumbnails? 5th time they've done this.
Great now that’s stuck in my brain 🧠 why you have to point that out? Now I’m traumatized
Right?!? He’s such a sweetheart, it kinda makes me sad!
Hoarders aren’t just mean, bad people. He really literally cannot keep the house clean. They are going to kick him out inevitably and hopefully he will get the help he needs. He’s not making a choice the way another person is any more than a depressed person is just deciding to “be sad”.
So biggest lesson I ever learned: I had to help my parents and grandparents clean out a hoarder house. My step-uncle had been renting from grandpa but then couldn't (didn't) afford the Rent. So my grandpa was a strict landlord and kicked him out, but helped him move and then cleaned the house up. It was a horrific experience, and we were all aware of it. Step-uncles wife grew up rich but had mental health trauma. And even when they had free maid service provided, the maid either quit or was fired.
So relatable
So, what was the lesson?
@@robinirons8140 that cleanliness has a scale and the side of having a serious issue with picking up your space, exists.
I'll add that I recently learned she is diagnosed with bipolar and OCD. She has meds prescribed but doesn't take them. She also has a shopping addiction and had wealthy but slimy parents. She's really nice mostly, but has an extreme side.
I've learned more about hoarding and mental health connection from the Dr John deloney show on CZcams.
2nd Caller. It's not just the minor children that are at risk. This disgusting dad is ruining the 21 year old's life by introducing him meth. Keep Dad away from kids forever!😢
The mother is wallowing in guilt...she doesn't want to move forward and forgive herself for what she allowed to happen to her son.
Now her husband is paying for it.
I'd say that the husband at least is being loving by not allowing him to destroy the home he lives in anymore and he sounds willing to help him with other stuff too.
Parenting doesn't stop at 18 and is often unglamorous, people don't say thank you enough for it.
She needs help first if she wants to help her son.
Spin out means spin out of control. I think this came from a car term when your tires break traction and you lose control of the vehicle as it spins in circles
"I'll burn there house down if we need to, but I kind of like them, too. Let me know." Ride or die. Exactly how I am with my family and friends.
Simple. YOU DONT. Best advice I ever got was this.
Do not amuse your circus. You are not their CLOWN..
I said what I said .😁
You're right. Ignoring is the best way to address a narcissist
There was a huge misunderstanding with my in laws , they think I had an affair with my husbands cousin. And I didn’t have the affair at all! , after that they disowned me forever , they were very rude and ugly to me. They even told my father about it , it’s been almost a year. My husband is still with me, we love each other. And we don’t care what they think about me , anyways it’s our life our family we are trying to keep together 🥰🙅🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️🙏🏻 with their attitude they just showed me that they never really liked me, and that they don’t know what move on and forgive looks like …
God Bless you, keep it moving live your best life!
Wow the 2nd caller is using sooo much distancing language as John says n she constantly laughing to cover up her feelings. I hope he recommends counseling for her to deal with all she has been thru this is so crazy n she sounds like she's talking about a routine bad day at work. Completely out of touch . She almost normalizes this. It would be bad enough if it was just her but little siblings.
Please don’t pressure her. She needs to come to this on her own. That being said, you can help her, uphold her, and encourage her. She is going to struggle and your job is to care for her, not to pressure her to get tough. I agree with your outlook but there is a possibility you may have to leave them alone.
Spin out is usually to describe someon reacting out of emotional control.
Eh… maybe a little shame on her part isn’t terribly unwarranted… kinda scarier if she’s totally shame-free
I LOVE HIM
Me looking for the men in the comments that will still defend the abusive motorcycle dad 👀 abs complain women always initiate divorce
The best thing is not to bother just block But if they’re in my home I will kick them out then block.
ADHD is not an excuse to trash someone's home, but it's an explanation - as anyone who has a 23yr old with ADHD knows.
Idk dude, my husband has ADHD and we moved out of his family's house when he was 22. He did more cleaning in that house than anyone else, and since moving out together he's honestly better about cleaning than I am. I think it manifests differently for everyone.
@@Cyanopteryx yes. ADHD is not an excuse. You might have to remind them.
Depending on the area- junk cars on lawns are a wealth status.
Dude might need to check his Tesla and respect car collection.
Huh?
Why would she not let him live there? He has to live somewhere.
I would do anything to help my kids have somewhere to live.
Because that is enabling. What would you say if she hadnt remaired and was still actually living in her house? That she should let her 23 year old son live there for free n forever n also as a hoarder. Why exactly? You're jknoas a parent is not to raise kids but to raise adults. He needs help and I would suggest they support him in that but he has to be willing to take it. He will only get worse as he ages and becomes more isolated and especially when Mom passes and then where is he? You sound like a codependent enabler.
My son is terrorizing me in my home.
Throww trash out of the house and get strapped
Reach out.
@@janelleg597 ?
@@trumpisgod2535 strapped as in shoot him? Not gonna to go that far. It’s not physical against me.
Call the police, change the locks, get their stuff out of the house, speak to a therapist. So many things you can do but I'm sure you won't.
Wow that 2nd caller.. this is one of the reasons John should just get to the call n stop with all the cringe over excited small talk. This is a serious show n people are calling about very troubling matters. Granted some worse than others by its important to them n they are understandably nervous. This woman felt she had to pretend she knew what he was talking about. I don't like when women do this is really life m it's a real indication of a noritor phony or insecure person who can't just say " Oh I'm not sire what you're referring to" or "gee I don't follow sports etc" but i can understand why she did it on this call..
You don’t. You just let them be…
Damn skippy👏
9th comment
Put the house up for sale. That's the only way to get him out of the house if he won't leave. . It's called tough love. You don't need two homes. Take the money and put it in your retirement kitty.
They may be relying on the rent to pay it off before selling it. They didn’t specify if they own out right debt free. You want the rental income as long as possible before you sell when you’re including it in your retirement plan.