Going Through a Divorce And I'm About To Be A Single Mom Of 5 Kids
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- čas přidán 1. 09. 2018
- Going Through a Divorce And I'm About To Be A Single Mom Of 5 Kids
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If this woman is struggling financially, why is SHE PAYING FOR HER KID'S STUDENT LOAN ?
Her kid should STEP UP.
No excuses !!
The loan is in her name
@@diamondjohnson3219 i realize that. What I'm saying is she is in a pickle so her kid should step up and help, that's all
@@sunset6010 oh yes I agree however it sound like some of the older ones take after there dad.
Agreed, at 25 one should really have at least started to figure out life and take responsibility and ownership.
I think he just got comfortable using her, it's not about him not wanting to "leave the nest".
20 years of marriage down the drain. That's one of my biggest fears.
xSalamz nothing to fear if you don't get married
20 years married to a military spouse gives guaranteed lifetime retirement benefits... shouldn’t be too financially tough if she’s also working full time.
Dude, not only 20 years of marriage but 20 years of life! Let's say you get married at 25 and 20 years later you're 45. By the time you are ready to get back out there to meet someone you're practically 50! :( So sad. I wish her and her kids the best. And the dad can go f*** himself.
People aren't meant to have relationships for a lifetime. We need change we crave change. That's why the second big mac isn't as good as the first one.
I hope she'll be okay. I pray to God this Husband has a extremely valid reason to leave his wife!
She needed to quit talking so much and listen more
True, but you could tell how scared she was.
Her ex-husband been saying that for 20 years..
Exactly. Not sure why she called in.
Perhaps that’s why there is a divorce?
She's trying draw pity and sympathy
She's s nurse and can't pay rent, just because she's " never paid it before"....🙄. Plus a 19 and 25 year old still at home for no reason. She's just making it sound worse than it is.
Exactly. She’s trying to manipulate the story. She’s the breadwinner. She makes more than her ex.
@@drfeelgood3073 manipulation is a stretch. She's not good at managing money/budgeting like thousands of other people that call Dave. She's emotional about her divorce. Went from family of 7 with 2 incomes to family of 6 with one income with little child support plus she's only been a nurse for two years. She's just a mess bc she's not good with money and going through a difficult life change.
She was going through a divorce and left with 5 kids when her partner was the one that dealt with the finances. She was scared and over whelmed. You can hear it in her voice. What Dave did was help her see that she can get through it if she organizes her finances and bills. It sound worst for her because if felt worse for her
@@nr4ever people are just insensitive because they don't have real problems going on, or the other extreme is their situation is worse, and they don't care about other people's issues. They need to stop watching this show if that's the case though.
I think she just freaked out for a bit. She just needed to organize her thoughts and priorities.
She’s not in a mess, she is a mess.
She is overwhelmed and traumatised it is an enormous adjustment. It takes time and she doesn't have time.
@@marleneclough3173 time for big girl panties.
"Because we were military we're always poor"....yeah...no. Too many red flags.
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Think it depends on if she stayed home to raise the kids and just lived on his military income. Which is what it sounds like.
I did 11 years in the military and I was far from poor or had any debt. That was a disgusting excuse.
I was a single mother for five of the six years I was in the Air Force. We were NEVER POOR. Because I wasn’t STUPID.
"We had 5 kids on a single income so we're always broke" is more accurate. Should have used birth control and gone back to work 10 years ago.
This lady is a train wreck. Became a nurse two years ago and she can't pay the rent? Doesn't make any sense. Red flags are going up everywhere with this call.
Yeah, there is a lot more to this story than she is telling Dave.
Let's take into consideration what nurse title she owns? Lpn or CNA doesn't pay much compares to being a RN
@@jesuslovesyou916 No matter how much a person like this makes they will always be a drama storm on the edge of disaster. If one has a crisis to deal with then they don't have to stop and be calm and do any reflection on why life is the way it is for them and those they influence. So they always have a crisis ready to go.
@@jesuslovesyou916 she said she makes 56k. The title of her nursing job is irrelevant. 56k can be lived off of. When I was 22 my wife and I lived off of 28k and we had a child as well. At 56k she could be living comfortable if she is smart with money. There is more to her story than she is letting on. She got her nursing degree 2 years ago so she is to used to having HER extra 56k because she said her husband paid for everything while she was in school. She was married with him for 20 year and their oldest is 25. She said she is 45 so she has been with her husband for more than half her life. Now that she is seeing how much she has to pay to live she is freaking out that she won't have the extra 56k.
@@DrogoBaggins987 just now seeing your comment. You are correct
Gee she makes a base salary of $56K and she has at least two kids at home who are old enough to watch the littles so she has no daycare costs.....lots of single moms would be happy with that picture. Something's missing from this story....
Exactly.
She never paid on her student loans and kept racking up debt.
She babied the 25 year old until the dad left.
Just listening to her for three minutes and i have to leave the video...
Yea no joke...
Hahaha you couldn't even stay for a couple minutes you divorced her right away LOL
Lol 😂
You keep listening and you hear how tough she is
funny, I made it to 3:04 and bailed. She is exhausting.
"We're military, we're always poor." That statement is SOOOOOO wrong. I retired Air Force Reserve, am not receiving my pension yet and life financially is SOOOOOO good. It's not how much you earn, it's what you do with what you earn. 100% debt free to include the house all on one income.
The most financially stable people in my family outside of myself are my family who served in the military, and unlike me they don’t have student loan debt. I don’t understand her “we’re military we’re always poor” line.
Exactly. We’re not rich, but we can get stuff done.
@@bmasonia7634 OK, so she was right. She's meaning they work for the gov't so they are not rich, is what she *should* have said.
@@bettywith2girls that’s what I said.
Right! I’m a vet and my husband is active duty. We do very well! I believe the military put me in a great financial position and definitely helped my husband. Some people don’t take the opportunities provided by the military to get themselves in a good financial place. I choose to work bc I love working. I would never not work and if I did, I would still be involved in our budgets and how bills are paid, but I see this so much with other military spouses.
Jeez she didn’t even let Dave talk kept interrupting... that’s in a 10min convo imagine living with this women and seeing her true colors, yeah no wonder sweetheart
comptoncity2 When you hear her story I was waiting for, I left because of verbal abuse. But, poor her because she decided to marry a man and have 5 kids with.
She is panicking because she doesn't have money to pay the rent. Pretty unfair and callous statement. Empathy?
I would leave this woman too.
Im glad she could call in and give dave some advice 😑
I REALLY want to hear the husband's side of the story...
Like 20 yrs?
Stats say the first 5 yrs r rhe hardest and most likely will end in divorce. U get passed that and u make it a long time. The next rough patch is when the kids come. But they made it past 5 kids...
Like dude..
What happened?
A girlfriend happened...that's what he would say happened.
@@bettywith2girls so she's a lesbian?
He more than likely cheated like most male Americans do
something's not right. and she talks too much
I don’t think he’s defending her. Sometimes I really do believe Dave knows what’s going on. And I believe for the sake of his show he only calls out things that particularly deal with financial situations. Anything beyond that he doesn’t mention even if he is suspicious from my point of view
Exactly. He's trying not to judge but you can tell what he's really thinking.
Listen woman, stop talking over Dave.
High ranking pet peeve of mine.
I was done when she said she had 5 kids then said 19 and 25. Girl bye! When I was 18 I was in college and paid for everything myself
Milan Labus or by their self, some cities have high paying jobs with no degree
Yeah she was slowly letting them just live on them as adults.
Milan Labus no I follow Dave Ramsey I did college debt free. I mean exactly what I said.
How
She has 3 kids not 5, there's much more to this story and her reason for calling wasn't to help but to get sympathy.
I hope this woman is never my nurse.
Why????? She is going through a divorce. 20 years of marriage. It has nothing to do with her nursing skills. I am a nurse. I have seen bad nurses
Comment makes zero sense
@@wa2k99 I think because she’s a mess. If someone is all over the place in their own life do you put your life in their hands? That was his point
I hope you never darken the doorstep of her work place.
@@flavorsweet8931 LOTS of nutty nurses!
I can’t even imagine someone walking out of my life after 5 kids and 20 years of marriage with the audacity to not look after the family that he help create! I’ve personally seen this a lot being in the military. Breaks my heart.
Heinrich Himmler Oh my.....
Do men think they age gracefully? She's growing a mustache but you cant get it up.
Nothing but the truth.
@@et5895 We do have the little blue pill, though.
Mo G That blue pill doesn’t always work. That said I do not feel sorry for this women whatsoever. I’ve always paid my way and that would continue with a husband. How does this woman not have some sort of savings from the past two years of being a nurse? You can pay bills, along with school debt and still have a bit over for savings. I believe there is more to this story.
Sometimes Dave is just the dad that everyone needs to talk to just to hear that it will be okay.
So glad I divorced my dependapotamus.
Agreed. Congrats
Gold.
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Her story has holes. She's full of it.
I was thinking the same thing. I want to hear his side of the story.
Yup, obviously she's biased. But she's really pushing it.
The way she is spitting venom to Dave in this call, I understand her bitterness towards the fleeing husband but he is probably just trying to keep his sanity.
He wanted to leave for awhile, maybe there's someone else. He was waiting for her to get a career so he could get out of alimony.
Why do you think he's divorcing her?
Does the lazy oldest son belong to the husband?
He's 25, but they were only married for 20 years.
Felipe S. They probably didn’t get married the moment they met.
I doubt it.
Nope, and she babies him, and the step dad hated him. The 19 yrs old is his, she used him to seal the deal.
Makes me happy that I am single.
I got questions...
Agree with other commenters - sounds like she cheated and he doesn't want to pay financially for the mistakes she made.
Something going on for sure.
Huge gap in kid's ages. Probably tough times in marriage. You either make it work, or keep having kids. With five kids...stay together. Geez
There is always more to the story. For all we know the dad is trying to get custody.
EXACTLY. And most of the time men are forced to not only pay absorbent amounts of money just for the chance to get his children, but also HER attorney fees even if she filed. (Which 70% of divorces are initiated by women.)
He’s exactly right. Pick up more shifts as a nurse. Get that overtime. You can do this!
We are poor military- getting subsidized housing, free education...
So decided to have five kids. If you considered yourself always poor why did you have five kids?
Why can’t you pay rent?
“Because I’ve never paid rent”...what a crazy statement. So much entitlement and victim hood in this call.
There may be a reason this guy bailed.
Kids coming out of your ears 😅
Women let this be a lesson. Just because you become a house wife, remember to stay in the loop of Financial decisions, have a back up plan in case he leaves you. Ladies thier might be a day coming he will leave you on your own
He might:
Die
Become really sick
Just plan leave you ( Not satisfied)
Forget the bull crab about happy wife happy life. Both have to be happy not just one person . He will do his part and women do your part to make your man happy. Todays world is about working together to make life easy . Stop the only one person works
Happy spouse happy house
Amen. 100%
And spousal IRA
The best advice on this video. 👍🏽
I am a nurse and single
We worked as a team. Once our loans are paid off I get to work optionally. I actually want to work. Staying at home is hard and would drive me crazy.
Dave was totally white knighting here.
She can do this. Like Dave said, the two adults needs to work and if they're still living at home, they need to have a plan where they move out. And the ex husband needs to provide financially and be there for his other 3 younger kids as much as possible!!
Zade, only in Hawaii do families stay together for the reason of financials. Most expensive state to live. USA kids can make it on their own and should be. We like the nuclear family, not extended family.
Or they can stay living at home BUT contribute with rent and bills
Is this another one of those "I cheated and ruined my narriage but now I'm gonna act like a victim" calls?
Sounds like
Yup
Yes and it sounds like she was stealing from him too. Feel bad for the guy
I agree If he's been paying the rent for 20 years.there must be a reason he left
I bet he found out some of the children aren't his.. that's why he left, his manhood took a hit.. Now she's crying victim
She cheated on him
N.B.A. why do you feel that way ?
@@sunset6010 jody got his girl
other way around
We don't have any idea if infidelity comes into play or not, or which side if guilty of it, if either. She and Dave don't delve into the reason for the breakdown.
@@carlosgutierrez2789 I remember Jody from Basic Training.
food at the grocery store is more expensive then eating out these days
No, it is not. People need to meal plan better
Maybe as a single who doesnt cook well. But not with 6 people in the house and a mom with 20 years of staying at home.. one would hope shes figured out how to cook economically.
She’s not telling us everything. She probably makes a lot more than him
as a retired service member, the military is grossly underpaid, but it is an okay living, but not poor, but she is acting like they were alway poor-then that came down to poor money management
Appreciate Dave's calm demeanor here, because people drive me crazy when they ask for advice and then talk over the top of Dave and don't listen for the "advice" they asked for. And Have the older kids move out!
He’s calm because it’s not him drowning!!
Thank goodness the husband finally escaped!
I graduated in 1998 with 15k in student loans. Paid them off in less than 2 years. Grow up!
The lady is a living little ball of anxiety and neuroticism. I hope she's doing better now.
Her & her husband should’ve thought twice before they had 5 kids. If the military doesn’t pay u well what makes u think u can afford 5 kids then???👎
Something tells me all 5 of those kids might not be his
Girl grow up. That’s what you get for relying on a man to take care of you. You have to look out for yourself ALWAYS
When knowledge is spoken! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Well said
I wonder why he left 😀
Girlfriend.
How do you have a 25 year old but only married for 20?
Likely a child from a different father
She's too busy playing the sad violin to tell the truth and Ramsey is eating it up.
Maybe they had a baby before they got married. 🤷🏽♀️ not everyone Gets married before having a kid.
Millions of couples have kids out of wedlock.
God probably told her that it was ok.
Wonder how many of those 5 kids are actually the husbands
simple enough to get a DNA test and check before paying for anything
Her husband just crossed the useless line when he retired. His guaranteed income quit growing so its time for the wife to cash out and kick him to the curb. It sounds like reality hit her hard: she doesn't get to keep 100% of his income.
HE left HER.
@@bettywith2girls women initiate over 70% of the divorces in America. He might of physically left the house, but her lawyer probably ordered him to.
Where do I sign up to date a single mom of 5? Yay!
😂😂😂
Tinder
How in the world did you get to where you are to today was so much debt that doesn't make sense
As long as the father is not a deadbeat. You will be fine. No single moms for me.
Josh at the 5:00 minute mark, he is a dead beat
Why do women choose to get pregnant by deadbeat guys?
Women or humans? Most HUMANS do twist the truth. Let's be real here. You can't just blame the woman all the time.
The military will not let the father be a deadbeat, at least financially. 20 years of marriage for a young military family is an accomplishment considering the high rates of divorce in the military.
Kinosis, aren't you a man doing the very thing you're complaining about, with your dramatic statement generalizing women, making men out to be the victims?
I bet 1 or 2 of those kids aren't even his.
Ladies and gentlemen this is why you never take a backseat when it comes to your money. Anyone can up and leave.
I can't believe he stayed with that walking disaster for 20 years!! He must be a saint!!
😂 nah he's a piece of crap leaving his kids
The 19 and 25 year old either need to move in with their dad or rent an apartment together.
She sounds like someone who deserves the divorce..
Don't have so many freaking kids! This is not the twenties and thirties!!! 2 maybe 3 tops and get sewn up!!! I've found that people that have a lot of kids are trying to fill a void in their lives and kids won't do that!
Omg! That’s an insane story!
What would Dave tell a man going through a divorce and is about to be a single father of five?
Let me guess "grow up and support your wife"
HA HA HA that's how it goes!
yep, always putting ze women on pedestals
If the wife is the one that has the kids then yes he should still help support that household. if she left and HE has the kids the majority of the time, then no dave wouldn't say that
We have absolutely no idea what happend between them two. He might be trying to get joint custody of the children, which most men do, and she fighting that. I bet that’s what’s happening.
I was just thinking that. One option that they did not mention is her giving the children to the father if he's in a better financial state so she can work to make her situation better. Maybe she could pay a little bit of child support, it wouldn't be as hard as her taking care of three children and two adults by herself.
Pay attention ladies!!
5 kids. 20 years of marraige.. the stress of evrything going on at once probly is what made the daddy leave. but he cant be like a child and leave and do not take responsibility for his kids.
Send the 25 yr old off to live with daddy if he can't get a job & start paying rent in the next 30 days
I dont think she knows where the 25yos daddy is.
I feel bad for this lady. I think she's still in a little shock. I know what it's like someone walks away after a long time marriage and leaves you with kids and doesn't really help. I wish the best for her but Dave is right. She needs to tighten the belt and step up.. It sucks but that's all you can really do
I am a bit confused, she lives in military housing and she is a nurse for 2 years makes 56k and can’t pay the rent. . Ummm . . . And she never paid it .
Is military housing 3k a month ?
What was she paying with her money.
And ummmm your 25 yo son can work anywhere 40 hours a week and pay off student loans and help pay rent . .
Something didn’t add up 56k and 2 more jobs is struggle
Definitely a money management issue!
My husband’s ex wife abandoned her oldest daughter when she was a baby and fled the state and never paid a cent in child support to the dad. Then she and my got married and proceeded to have two kids (he said he was dumb back then - don’t procreate with women like this) and he’s been paying child support to her for 14 years. Neither men NOR women should get off the hook for financially supporting their kids, however I have heard a scary amount of women tend to get off easy.
I’m confused. Didn’t she say she was in military housing? So what does she mean it’s her turn to pay the rent? There ISN’T any rent in military housing.
Dave has so much patience...
nurses can always pick up more shifts. older kids should help out mom. also husband should be still paying his percentage. if people did the right thing we wouldn't need divorce In courts
He gets a pension. The service does not allow you to not pay debts like child support.
I'm afraid she's gonna end the call and feel encouraged, and say, "I CAN do this!", and continue using debt and never get out of it and not change a thing.
Three children and one adult on a $56k income is absolutely fine
I cannot believe we can walk out like a game. We need to win. She is a winner.
Dave should do an evil king Solomon and tell her to cut one of the kids down the middle. It would be hilarious. But the show would probably discontinue.
Military has some of the most generous benefits when it comes to taking care of the spouses of their members including free education (dont know how she got in debt for school). Her exhusband will have half of his retirement garnished for the rest of his life to pay her alimony and child support. Somethings are not adding up in her story.
Oh God no kids for me thank God
I can see why he left her. She’s annoying
Wow I get nervous about having one or two kids . Can just imagine having 5. Best thing you can do is teach your kids he importance of making saving investing money. One day they will grow up and take care of you !
When people feel overwhelmed, they want to be heard. Dave can't entertain speech that leads nowhere. This is why we listen to him.
Wrong, when people are overhewelemed they want to listen.
I dont believe in divorce, im married and will stay married until I die for better or worse like I promised... but some people just change one day and then the couple isnt happy, its sad but reality...If your married and wonder how peoples marriages fall apart pretend your spouse just cheated on your, twice and then stole your money...still want to stay together? lol...
Christ, I read your comment twice and still don't get what you are saying. There are a thousand reasons why people marry and a thousand reasons why people divorce.
Try living with alcoholic. Try living with someone who won't work. Try living with someone who won't move away from Mommy and Daddy or their kids. You get one life, .....one more time......one life......people are not the same at 20, at 30, at 40, at 50, and at 60. Priorities change. You want to be miserable until you die, then have at it.
@Randall Johnson Ive done a great job its YORE comment thats not adding anything to the conversation
You also get half of his pension, DOD policy. 10 or more years of marriage qualifies you to half of his pension.
Our goal is to be millionaires when my husband retires from the military. Focused not finished!
How is lights and water above rent? Cant pay light and water if you don't have somewhere to live.
because if you don't pay your light / water, they will cut it off if you are one month late. you can be late with rent and it will take them a lot longer to kick you out. lesser of two penalties.
@@ernestonoir5796 OK that makes sense.
Not being harsh but I can see why her husband did a bunk. She gave me a head ache and it was less than 10 mins
This makes no sense.
She sounds like the problem.
Many of Dave's callers are people getting divorced. Maybe that is why he does not recommend prenuptials. He would lose callers.
I think Dave should ask her why are you divorcing is there not anyway to patch things up because this is ridiculous, 5 kids this is not a good idea
No offense but I see why the husband left.
She is nuts! I don’t blame the husband from running away from her
Really scary so many people calling are divorced. Do people read their bible about that ? Or do vows not matter anymore. Its really alarming.
If you serve in the military let this be a lesson...... after you get the retirement check, brace for impact
😂😂🤣🤣😎
Get on disability like half of them do.
I was single when I retired from the military, thank God.
Yeah it's so easy to just make $60000 coming out of college. Dave does not get it
What kind of soldier is this guy leaving his wife and kids!
She started the divorce..
He probably had an affair. Which is why she is angry.
The 25 y old .... ‘love you, get out yesterday’
As long as you & the father can work things out as adults there should be no financial dilemma between the two. It is always better to work things out between the two for the sake of the children.
Lawyers thrive in ramping up the causes for action. They aren't interested in what's good sensible advice, they are into stringing things out. Make sure everybody gets their share of the dough and when they are thru the guy will be bankrupt.
How is a retiree in military housing?
I feel bad for this lady, but I think she can do it. Good thing she has an income.