Self Care to Cope with A Narcissist (How to Survive then Thrive)
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- Äas pĆidĂĄn 3. 08. 2024
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Are you trying to cope with a narcissist and just finding it hard to think about anything else? Or maybe you want to know how to survive or overcome the trauma of living with a narcissist in your life? Self care when dealing with narcissistic abuse can be tricky. They literally suck the life out of you. Whether you're dealing with a covert narcissist or a regular narcissist, the constant barrage of gaslighting, lying, manipulating, intimidation tactics and so much more can leave you feeling exhausted and just a shell of your former self. Self care is one thing when you are in a normal situation but when you're dealing with a narcissist in divorce, or just every day life, it is even more critical. In this video, I offer you tips to survive that narcissist and then thrive. If you have a narcissist in your life, this is a must watch.
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"If you're in victim mode you cannot be in creative mode, getting on with your life mode". Superb!
My man is so sweet with strangers and so rude and violent towards me so I started to ignore him. He loves to lie and charm other people. He is paranoid now that I stopped caring! I'm totally quiet now.. I stopped cleaning after him, sleeping in the same room. Omg! I wish I can write all of it down.
I am sorry dear, that's what I call public sweetheart and domestic nightmare!
Yes, I have had my own room for years, avoid him like the bible says to do, certainly let him do his own wash and deal with his own bedroom mess. If he's in the kitchen, I wait till he's gone b4 going in there. I don't even make small talk. If he tries to talk, I give a thumbs up that I heard him. I truly do not like the man, and I've told him so, but he doesn't get it.
@@ellenreynolds2100 my husband has a man cave but a bed wonât fit in there with all his toys. I wish he would leave to his moms house. She has 2 extra rooms and is lonely.
@ki wi - any updates ?
Try to go âgrey rockâ until you can actually get clean away. Once you are free, never look back! Heâll NEVER change or improve. I speak from experience.
I AM SO READY. I WAS CRYING AND I WANTED TO HURT MYSELF AND THIS VIDEO ENDED UP HELPING ME CALM DOWN. THANK YOU SO MUCH.
I know how you feel. I am dealing with my mother. 30 years of hurt and she just dont care. I am glad I just cut ties. And I am ready to move forward. Dont obsess Plan your success!
It isn't me I want to hurt
hurti,ng yourself is NOT the answerđ trust me if you care for yourself their sickness WILL REVEAL ITSELF TO YOU! Go get a massage, get or do a facial/hair care. Watch some videos on self care. I'm a cosmetologist. If money is tight there are many things you can do self care olive oil or coconut oil hair masks. Try not to let the narc know what self care your doing. All Rebecca suggestions are gold. Hang in there, things will get betterâ€
Thatâs where they want you to be but show them no emotion and they will run out of ideas to mess with you the more you keep your distance and act like they donât exist the more they will get tried of trying to get your attention donât even get mad that they are gang stalking you they are trying their best to get you mad donât even let them get you mad cause they take that and use that as their advantage to get you mad when they canât get you mad the are useless
Been there. If it werenât for my kids Iâm not sure I would be here. It gets a bit better with time and a lot of distance.
I'm so very ready! I'm emotionally and physically drained
Dawn Hoppe here's some love đ
Samee
I feel you . I feel the same. .
I JUST discovered heâs a narc. Itâs causing me anxiety, major insomnia, stress, acne breakouts because of the stress. Iâm exhausted and ready to be out of this relationshit.
@@justmevsg1681 SAME! Literally just connected the dots yesterday. Let's just say I got zero sleep - I'm shaking in my boots. Lord help us. We need support.
Thank you for giving this free! So many of us can't afford therapy. Bless you!
Amenđ
Hi huni, try out Melanie Tonia Evan's free 16 day abuse recovery course, she is on CZcams also x
Yes. This is wonderful. Those of us in these abusive situations have been " in Crazymaking mode" hard to think straight. These videos are Validation for us. We get stronger through these. Thank you God Bless you.
Yes thank u. They help alot
Self care is learning how to run away
Amen
Yes
A lifetime of narcissistic boyfriends and bosses. I'm completely ready to refocus that energy on ME now. đ
I'm ready, finally filed for a divorce after 24 years when my eyes were opened once my kids were gone. I can't believe that I lived in this place for so long. Thank you so much!!!!
Divorced me & left me homeless. I'm still trying to put my life back together. I'm Ready!!!!
Better to be homeless than to live in a house for 1 second with a narc.
@@raccuia1 Yes my nurse assist/BPD person discarded me and left me living in a motel broke as h*** but I'd rather be here than living through the chaos and the torment
Wow!! Iâm so sorry!! Mine threatened the same to me! And we have a child with special needs!!
I`m really sorry for this and I hope youÂŽve found a safe haven by now. You WILL get through this. I`m sending good energy to you.
I know exactly I was discarded for new supply and forced out if my own home into a townhouse
Living with a narcissistic parent, and I completely agree that they drain the life out of you. I spend the majority of my time avoiding them or at least limiting my time with them.
Me too Anna, im in the good fight with ya.
I was a Scapegoat in my family, so easy target for a narc. partner later in life. But I finally managed to get out of the visious circle and now IÂŽm narc-free for a whole year!!! :D Sending the strength to all who are still struggling
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I am slowly breaking up with a Narc and am in alot of emotional pain. The terminology of self care I realize is how I am going to get through. These pointers are great and I am starting to do them. Self talk is telling me I am doing the right thing. I am struggling letting go,
Its satan or god. Pick your future. They find others. Move on. X
Hope you're doing okay, Sandy
@Sandy how you doing?
I feel the same way, but we CAN do this! Thereâs a beautiful life on the other side of this!!!! We can be happy again!!!
I'm in the middle of separating from my husband of 28 yrs.
It's so hard to let go.
Even after all the lies and making me feel like I'm mad, an alcoholic ect.
I feel like I am going crazy.
He's even turning my grown up children against me.
In the back of my mind I'm still blaming my self.
Is this normal.
Friends told me he maybe a narcissist. After watching some videos I am feeling they were right about him. I just broke up with him.
Good move, good friendsđ
narcissists dont usually self reflect so unless he was diagnosed he could be struggling with something else. but just a suggestion idk your situation. im also not qualified to give info on narcissism
Good. Well done.
You did yourself a great favor! Wow
I really appreciate the fact you donât have all the commercial interruptions that other people have on their videos. Itâs good to listen to you uninterrupted.
I got rid of my narcissistic friend whom I helped, got her a job, and I had to quit my job to get rid of her. I am still working on my recovery though, and your videos helped me understand her heinous behavior and personality.
I am so ready, my whole family is narcs. I want to be around other people who give me peace, wonderful video. I do love zoom exercise classes which have helped during his covid 19.
I have 2 narcissistic siblings and now I see my niece is a narc......so sad
I have many toođ
I am so sorry! I cannot imagine I only live with ONE! Having your whole family must be just gutwrenching. Keep watching these videos and for your mental health sake stay away from them. It does not matter that they are family they are mentally ill and you are not.
@@rainswirl9866 yes, both parents, my exhusb, both my adult children. I have to distance myself for sure. I have friends and a good husb now thank goodness.
Itâs wild, I just turned 49 years old and I had never heard of the terms Narcissist or gas lighting. I have seen this cycle of abuse throughout my life and have now started to breakout of it in so many aspects of my life! The ideas of self-care and proper boundaries were so foreign to me. Itâs time for me to get free and to help others do so. These videos are answers to prayers! Thank you!
After 10 years, I'm finally ready.
I'm over the "lovebomb" I now know that she was cheating on my with my best friend in the first year of our marriage...a year later she cheated on me with my other best friend. Needless to say since that was in 2010, I have no friends, but with those kinds of friends, seriously, who needs them. Choosing friends and women is not my area of expertise, haha. ;-)
I have many creative outlets and always have, without the crazy depression that many creatives have as an unfriendly sidekick. ;-)
Same.
I haven't seen my narcissit mother and sister for 5 years now. I've never felt so good in my life as now. But seeing all this videos about narcissism it makes me remember some of their atittude toward me and it makes me sad that I didn't realize their disorder. Actually it was my 16 years old daughter that told me that they might be narcissists. then here I am learning about it and bringing my memory back and check all that with their actions of old. I feel horrible that I could not see nothing lke that back then but I see now.
oh my goodness i cant wait to experience this
Ive got so many emotions right now. I'm ready! I do have fear of him. Ive seen him turn on other people & he's brutal!! Very convincingly scary to both male or female. Has PTSD & bipolar. Had to put him in psyc warrd 3 times over our 20 yrs life. I know I have to plan this VERY quietly while I get all my cards in a row. Prayers please! I'm gonna need them. But I can & will survive this/him.
go get him! play smart! best of luck!
@@lisavaden9903 thank you for the positive words. It truly does help.
@@cat4153 How are you now? Same boatđą
@@redpilled5830 hi there. Unfortunately I'm still in this mess. I triedd but I think my mind was more ready than my emotions. I've had to back up & re-group. Whats going on with your situation?
Hey how are you doing. Sorry this is late. I hope you have gone no contact. Its crazy making. X
I'm so ready, my mom in law is beyond narcissist, I almost lost my self and mind with the things that woman put me through. 6 months of living with her was enough.
How did you get rid of her after the 6mos? I am in a very similar situation with no end in sight
Ben from âBullies Be Goneâ talks about switching from âvictimâ to âtargetâ. A predictor targeted you - like a cat crouching low to stalk and play with a mouse. So what you need is grit, determination - to bring that strength up from your depths and make a plan to thrive.
Amen! Thank you!
Thanks for all your encouraging posts. Iâm a 44 year type 1 diabetic and experiencing a 5 year marriage to a covert/Christian narcissist . I feel so tired and broken most of the time.
Why can't you stop eating so much sugar? Have you asked Christ for help yet?
@@JeffCaplan313 Seriously diabetes is an illness when your body can't produce insulin, it's not his fault. Your comment to me sounded more ike you are a troll.
@Kathy Cusumano It was...and it wasn't. He can help us overcome all, right?
To the extent a condition is "genetic"...that's just inherited memory. Perhaps if he goes back far enough/deep enough, he could identify the source of his ills and resolve it with some earnest prayer and practice. đ€·ââïž âïž
@@JeffCaplan313 You obviously don't understand genetics. My family unknowingly passed on Muscular Dystrophy which worsens with each generation. We are all strong believers in Christ - from my grandparent who passed the disease to 3 out of 4 of his children, to one of my siblings and four cousins, and then on to some of their children as well. You seem to think we can pray this disease completely out of our family. We pray for coping skills, for peace, for medical breakthroughs, for courage to go on. What definitely goes on are untimely deaths. One of the first things taught in Christianity is "don't judge," and "treat others the way you would want to be treated if you were in their position." Looks like you need to go back to Christianity 101 because your behavior is not an example of Christ.
@Lu Ann Michaelree It's not my fault He wants to prune your bloodline, but apparently someone in your family's history did something really wrong. I'm not judging anyone here and hope you can overcome it.
@2:25 - "Gaslight" - so called because the new husband was a murderer who had killed the young wife's aunt while seeking to steal rare and precious rubies the aunt had owned. Failing to find the rubies after he'd murdered the aunt, he then married the young wife so he could continue searching the now-boarded-up attic for the rubies. So the murderer/husband would sneak into the attic from an empty house next door, then turn on the gaslight up in the attic to continue his search for the rubies. When he turned on the gaslight upstairs, the gaslights in the house below would noticeably dim (because they were all hooked up to the same house's gas pipes).
In this clip the murderer/husband has hidden a painting from the hall, so he can accuse the young wife of stealing the painting and then hiding it herself. That is classic narcissist behavior, known as "projection", in which the narcissist accuses the innocent person of whatever evils the narcissist has committed.
czcams.com/video/6o8Eq0LEpf0/video.html
Thanks!
Thanks for being so compassionate for making this video to help the people to sail their life boat to peaceful island
Thank You Rebecca. What You spoke of in this Video was exactly what I needed to hear at this very moment.
Iâm ready đŠđŠđŠđŠ thanks Rebecca, I saw your video with Tracy ....youâre very encouraging! Iâm down to 2 narc female friends that Iâm fading away & they arenât giving up easily!
I'm ready! Thanks for the reminder about meditation!
Thank you, Rebecca.
Iâm ready!!
Thank you...you have helped me so much crystallize what I have lived for years. You are so helping me heal and become empowered...saving me.
Am going thru a very difficult time, bless you for all you share!
Heck yeah! Iâm ready! Thanks for asking.
Point 5 really stood out to me as I think I am trying to do the other self-care tactics. As an empath & being treated as an extension of a narcissist, often you don't even know what you want - you may have focused so long on catering to the narcissist that you have failed to consider what you actually want. For point 5, it is visualizing a better me & a better future, a stronger person who has worth, and discovering what you really want - very important!!!!
You are soothing to listen to and very validating as well! Exactly!! Thank you for your work in this space. I certainly appreciate it.
I'm ready! Yes, redirect your focus. He is definitely taking too much space in my head. Great advice!
I am readyyyy.Thanks for helping us
I'm ready! Thanks for this video...
Great advice, I am ready!
I just watching your videos last week and thank God for you to teach so many persons, listen to others on you tube and it's the same thing they talk, I'm living with my husband he surely is one of them, keep up the great work đđ
Out of all her videos this is probably been the most useful so far. Thank you again.
Thank you so much Rebecca, you are a true gift for us. I wish you to be happy, healthy and rich forever! Bless you!
I have watched a lot of your videos and this one was really helpful. Thank you for finding these words to say and sharing them with me today. I will look for the link to your private Facebook group. Thankful that you took your struggle, overcame it and then took the time to come back and help others cross that bridge too.
Thank you. You are saving mine and my mentally ill son from a narcissistic of years and it has gotten worse. All the patterns get your mind confused.
Your videos are helping me soo much thank you Rebecca
Thank you Rebecca! Itâs really hard to get legal advice regarding dealing with someone with NPD in Australia. Your videos are really informative. Iâve signed up for your webinar đđ
Thank you beautiful lady đ I really need it that â€ïž
Thank you, Rebeca, your videos helping us a lot!
You have been so helpful! Blessings to u in all things! We all need to stick together n help one another because this stuff is HARD!!!
Iâve been working on this for a long time. Iâm glad I found your videos.
Jules FitMinute me too đđ
I'm more than ready. It's very freeing to be equipped with knowledge in order to understand what type of toxicity I am dealing with so that I may heal from and overcome the narcissists' poisonous intentions. I'm totally in it to win it. I CAN do hard things. Thank you Rebecca.
Iâm ready! And these tips are imperative !
I am soooo ready!!!!!
Hi Rebecca I'm back I just can't get enough of all this good information. I should be fine dealing with my mother of 83 now that I know all this informative information. Thanks
Rebecca, you are kind, warm, compassionate and brilliant. Thank you for taking the time to create and broadcast this video. For it is a gift to all!
Thank you so much I really needed this.
Thank you very much for your information. Yes, I am doing these things now, thank God
Thank you for sharing this important information, I wish I could help spread awareness also and prevent anyone else from going through this suffering
Definitely!!! Have read but didnât think there were helpful videos instead !!
I somehow stumbled upon you today.. and SO HAPPY I did. Im finally breaking free from a long 5yr abusive relationship with a narcissistic addict. I feel there are other mental issues too.. just no idea what exactly. I've driven myself crazy trying to figure it out. Good news is I dont have to now and don't want to. Thanks for your wonderful videos, brought me to tears with how much this resonated with me.
This is great! Iâm going to start my day with this video!
I am ready to feel better. This narcissist is where I work and is my managerâs manager. The narcissist has pulled gaslighting, devaluing, and discarding. I am almost out of that environment as i am moving into a new position next month. Thanks Rebecca Zung!!
I like this. It is really important not to focus on the assholes more than we have to. My therapist said that the best thing I can do to help the situation with the narc I am dealing with is to go out and live my own life. Don't let these people take anymore of our time or energy.
I love drawing from your wisdom! I am healing and growing stronger. Shifting from victim to creating. Thank you!
And thank you! Ready to end the looping!
YES!! THANK YOU MORE THAN YOU KNOW! MY 28 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER IS A BRUTAL NARCISSIST. I LOVED AND NURTURED HER AS MUCH AS I COULD SO I JUST FIGURED OUT WHAT SHE WAS DOING AND SHE SEEMS TO TAKE PLEASURE IN DESTROYING ME AND HOLDS MY GRANDSON AS A PAWN. I HAVE NEVER LISTENED TO ANYONE BETTER THAN YOU ON THIS TOPIC! BLESSINGS!!
Thank you! Iâm nearing the end (I hope) of dealing with my Narcissistic brother after the death of our mother. I find your videos SO helpful.
Omg!! I had to do the same! It took my suddenly losing my mother 22 years ago.. in order to get away from my narcissistic grandmother and finally the maternal side. BEST DECISION ever!!
Iâm READY!!
Thank you for your strength and doing this work
I AM SOOOOO READY!!!
Thank you..this really helps
I am Ready!
I am ready. Dealing with one of 17yrs. Thanks so much.
Thank you so much!! I love your videos ! God bless you :)
Oh , I'm soooo ready!
Iâm READY !!!
I'm READY!
Thank you so much for your help, blessed for your help
I'm more than ready! It's going to get ugly. I can feel it coming...
This video helps me in so many ways my head mind clears up for some thing to eat for one.
Once again...I Am Ready!!!
I'm ready!
Yes, Iâve experienced pivot mode, recently as an ex who left me on 24th September has sent texts and emailed me which has tipped me into emotional breakdown a couple of times.
Just as I was feeling more positive and meditating and raising my vibration, I lost myself and he won briefly. Thank you for these informative videos, Now I understand that I need to push back, he wants to settle things amicable but has backed me into a corner and keeps pushing me using money as his leverage and the threat of him leaving me with nothing. I have to respect his house, respect him, while he disrespects me, devalues me and discarded me and is now with his new woman.
I'm Ready!
Im soooo ready!
Amazing advice, my advice when your in the beginning stages of finding out what your dealing with, really, take these points serious, dont think they are impossible or wont help because after 7 years i have finally done all of these things myself and they really do make a huge difference even though at the time you think its too simple and perhaps even stupid, shes right they work. You have to start with one or two and work your way up sometimes but it makes all the difference in your world!! Thank you for another amazing video for those who are struggling! Including myself
Yes it is simple it even feels simple and mind relaxing and I can feel a strength also
Thank-you for your amazing advice! I am on a roller-coaster at the moment dealing with a narcissistic husband and pending divorce settlement. I thought I had managed to escape from victim mode (as you so perfectly describe it) only to drop back in when I discovered my nex was indeed cheating on me, something he repeatedly denied and is most likely going to try and suggest has only happened since separation which I know is a lie. I feel so drained of everything, especially self-worth. Your videos have given me strength to fight this properly. So thank-you from the bottom of my heart!
Been ready RZ!!
Iâm ready! đŻ
I'm VERY ready!
I am so exhausted by my husband. Thank you, Rebecca. You are very wise and beautiful. Thank you again
They really play mind games with you. In the end I thought that I was going off my head. I am totally and mentally exhausted. Thank you so very much for your help. May God Bless you Abundantly for your help. I am 62 and I thought that I was loosing my mind. He even put the SPCA onto me and he drained me out financially too. I don't even have any friends. He has isolated me completely and I'm still battling to keep him away and I've lost so much weight and I've also lost interest in life. I lost my brother on the 12th July then this Naraccist really made my life living hell after that. His mind games were unreal.
GREAT ADVICE!
I am ready.....end of the darkest tunnel all alone....thank you
Iâm ready!! Iâm new to your channel, but Iâm gaining so much in the few videos. Do you do private coaching??
Thanks so much much good energy to you
Great video on self care from narcissistic abuse Thx
Soon to be ex after 9 years, wife is a covert narc, her mother trained her. I should have known better. I AM SO READY. Going to have to deal with her because of the children. Totally an energy vampire. Walking around with a body camera but doing some of the things you mentioned, staying active, started meditation. So thank you Rebecca.
Iâm so ready đ!