I did it. I found the worst Christmas Movie.

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  • čas přidán 20. 12. 2022
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    Movie Review - Santa Claus Conquers The Martians (1964)
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Komentáře • 861

  • @Jakepearl13
    @Jakepearl13 Před rokem +424

    Hiring Broadway actors instead of Hollywood veterans is always the next best thing,as cheesy as this movie is,they gave their all (for the most part)

  • @Soonjai
    @Soonjai Před rokem +381

    "You are going to relax...permanently" has to be one of the greatest lines ever put into a movie.

    • @Jansenbaker
      @Jansenbaker Před rokem +21

      Yeah, hearing that just now, I realized, "Wait, that's a threat... so freezing the elves may have killed them." Or if not killed, at least they're not getting out of that by waiting, presumably. Like, is there a way to reverse it? Does this thing have levels of effectiveness to make it temporary vs permanent?
      A surprisingly interesting weapon.

    • @senton412
      @senton412 Před 5 měsíci

      "Who's in the airlock?" "No one, NOW!" Voldar has great villain lines.

  • @mariacargille1396
    @mariacargille1396 Před rokem +246

    "No! You can't take him now, it's too near Christmas!"
    I /adore/ the implication that if three Martians had burst into Santa's workshop at any other time, it wouldn't have been an issue. 🤣

    • @PhotonBeast
      @PhotonBeast Před rokem +17

      Or that the elves don't actually care about Santa, just that they want to get the holidays over with and it'll be that much harder without Santa. :)

    • @luzellemoller6621
      @luzellemoller6621 Před 11 měsíci

      Ja!!! (Lol)

    • @DinoRicky
      @DinoRicky Před 10 měsíci +1

      Or that they need Santa to fly the sled and when he wouldn’t then they can take him (nicely of course)

  • @rosebyanyname
    @rosebyanyname Před rokem +844

    Knowing how Austin’s channel works, I expect him to own the rights to this movie by the video’s end.

    • @austinmcconnell
      @austinmcconnell  Před rokem +480

      Good news, Rose! We all own the rights.

    • @rosebyanyname
      @rosebyanyname Před rokem +78

      @@austinmcconnell that *is* good news! A wonderful season to you and yours!!

    • @Retiarius2
      @Retiarius2 Před rokem +41

      @@austinmcconnell Please remake this. It's what we all need. Blessed solstice!

    • @CGCGCG91
      @CGCGCG91 Před rokem +13

      @@austinmcconnell
      I genuinely don't know if you're joking or not at this point

    • @spugintrntl
      @spugintrntl Před rokem +41

      @@CGCGCG91 It wasn't a joke. The movie is public domain.

  • @LunarcyGames
    @LunarcyGames Před rokem +110

    “Don’t be afraid.” They say behind big guns in the faces of children

  • @AvatarYoda
    @AvatarYoda Před rokem +169

    The sad thing is, Droppo on paper is the best character in terms of arcs. He starts out as a lazy man who skips work. In the course of the film, he finds his calling and ends up with a job he really enjoys, and he got it by motivating himself rather than being forced into it. He also smartens up: he protects Santa by not revealing himself as Droppo when kidnapped (though how those Martians don't see Droppo's obvious antenna is beyond me) and figures out how to get out of the cave he's trapped in (also not sure how the lightbulb trick works, but he frees himself rather than being rescued). I'm not saying the writing's great, because it's not, but the most annoying character actually has the most character development and would have worked better with a difference kind of performance.

  • @wlochu93
    @wlochu93 Před rokem +842

    Austin with mustache looks kinda like Lorax

  • @axiomostanes
    @axiomostanes Před rokem +141

    How could you forget one of the movie's most on-the-nose lines?
    (human children are talking about martians after the UFO has been sighted)
    Betty: "If I saw a martian, I'd probably scream."
    *martians show up to kidnap them*
    *Betty screams*

  • @hectormanuel8360
    @hectormanuel8360 Před rokem +346

    Facts: YTP edits could be done easily because this masterpiece is completely public domain.

    • @ooln7240
      @ooln7240 Před rokem +37

      Lol he should add it to his cinematic universe

    • @Periwinkleaccount
      @Periwinkleaccount Před rokem +3

      That’s a single fact.

    • @That_One_Xatu
      @That_One_Xatu Před rokem +7

      @@tearsintherain2013 Copywrite lasts 70 years after the author's death under US law. By the time the copyright on Mickey Mouse is set to expire, it'll probably be even longer. I hope I'm wrong though.

    • @madmanmortonyt4890
      @madmanmortonyt4890 Před rokem +1

      @@That_One_Xatu you're definitely wrong! So long as Disney keeps Mickey Mouse as a present icon and character, they will continue to renew the copyright. Until every legal party completely gives up, he will never leave the private domain.

    • @dubuyajay9964
      @dubuyajay9964 Před 5 měsíci

      ​@@madmanmortonyt4890 You sure about that?

  • @MiguelHernandez-lo5lg
    @MiguelHernandez-lo5lg Před rokem +142

    I love how Santa has more screentime of laughing than actual dialogue.

    • @AlexanderNash
      @AlexanderNash Před rokem +13

      And its not even a good Santa laugh. Just a weird deep cackle.

    • @pimkinn
      @pimkinn Před rokem +6

      @@AlexanderNash sounds like a EH EH EH than a HO HO HO

    • @BeazerProductions
      @BeazerProductions Před rokem +3

      @@AlexanderNash Exactly. He has the most famous laugh of all time and they went with a villain laugh.

    • @georgeoldsterd8994
      @georgeoldsterd8994 Před 11 měsíci

      That's because Santa only speaks in laughter. Didn't you know?

  • @fred_oxford
    @fred_oxford Před rokem +57

    I actually got this movie in a white elephant gift exchange a couple decades ago and I've had a tradition of insisting on watching it, having my family all complain and say "not again!" Then one day I just turn it on to tease everyone, and after everybody complains they all eventually trickle into the room and watch it with me! XD This movie is so campy it goes into the zone of "so bad it's good" for me!

    • @austinmcconnell
      @austinmcconnell  Před rokem +30

      Somebody else on comments mentioned they GAVE it as a white elephant gift. 😂

  • @spinozatheobvious626
    @spinozatheobvious626 Před rokem +72

    This is the first time I've heard a character say "you're going to relax... permanently!" outside of parody. Which is ironic since evidently the Santa already is permanently relaxed!

    • @austinmcconnell
      @austinmcconnell  Před rokem +19

      Gonna start using it, myself!

    • @IncendiarySolution
      @IncendiarySolution Před rokem +3

      @@austinmcconnell if this doesnt find its way into the bbcu i dont know what we're doing here

    • @georgeoldsterd8994
      @georgeoldsterd8994 Před 11 měsíci

      Kinda makes me wonder if Santa is actually high all the time, given how relaxed he is, and how much he laughs.

  • @TheMangaWasBetter
    @TheMangaWasBetter Před rokem +100

    "Can you believe this kid he just gives santa like it's nothing. What a punk."
    I don't know why but that is the funniest line to me.

  • @trevorreads
    @trevorreads Před rokem +201

    “If you have a bad movie you can’t sell just turn it into a Christmas movie.”
    Everything makes sense now hahahaha

  • @HerrDeutschBlood
    @HerrDeutschBlood Před rokem +450

    My first encounter with this gem of a movie was in a Mystery Science Theater 3000 episode. (For those of you who aren’t aware of this show, it’s basically about one dude and two robots who are forced to watch bad movies and give off hilarious commentary as each movie progresses.)

    • @Hard_passs
      @Hard_passs Před rokem +22

      Last week my parents, brother, and I rewatched this. Such an incredible show.

    • @rdbury507
      @rdbury507 Před rokem +24

      Thank you; it was driving me crazy that MST3K wasn't even mentioned. Also no mention of Pia Zadora who went on to some degree of cinema fame as an adult, though the name wouldn't mean anything to most people when the MST3K episode came out. MST3K did another Christmas movie, the 1959 Mexican movie "Santa Claus" and I'm pretty sure that one was worse. Imagine a Santa movie at least as bad as SCvtM, but also with bad dubbing. So "worst Christmas Movie"? I have a feeling this one isn't even in the worst five.

    • @Xandycane
      @Xandycane Před rokem +10

      Yes! He's watching it wrong. Alone, no ok ne funny next to you, the actual movie itself...
      The only way to watch it is to watch the MST3000 version, especially with friends.

    • @copisetik5984
      @copisetik5984 Před rokem +12

      This and Mexican Santa Claus are MST3k Christmas viewing every year ❤

    • @sonic23233
      @sonic23233 Před rokem +2

      Same

  • @atiredfloridian777
    @atiredfloridian777 Před rokem +159

    Kudos to the actor who plays Santa, he actually embodies all of the charm of Old Saint Nick. "Because I'm Santa Claus, son."

    • @geoffreyrichards6079
      @geoffreyrichards6079 Před rokem +13

      He’s pretty much the heartfelt performance of the film.

    • @casperg.8603
      @casperg.8603 Před rokem +11

      his laugh is… off to me. Like it’s more of a cackle.

  • @speekr2animls
    @speekr2animls Před rokem +29

    My dad watched this in the theater when he was a kid, and so it has always been a holiday tradition in our house. Watched it completely earnestly for every Christmas I can remember. And now every adult sibling has a copy of it in their house.
    So I’m totally blinded by nostalgia, but for every critique in the video my brain went “yeah, I know, it’s awesome!”

  • @SamAronow
    @SamAronow Před rokem +38

    I feel compelled to mention _Christmas on Mars,_ a film created by Wayne Coyne of The Flaming Lips based on his mother's recollection of several different movies she saw while falling in and out of sleep in front of the TV.
    Ironically, my own mother then saw _Christmas on Mars_ while half-asleep and thought she dreamed it.

    • @ThisRemarkableVessel
      @ThisRemarkableVessel Před rokem

      Came here 4 weeks late to say exactly this*. I thought about Christmas on Mars for most of the video; when Austin said "shoot it like a David Lynch-style indie film" in reference to a potential remake of Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, I almost screamed at the screen.
      *minus the personal anecdote, of course - my mother never watched Christmas on Mars and in fact I seem to recall once actively dissuading her from doing so.

  • @TommoCarroll
    @TommoCarroll Před rokem +16

    I actually really want to see this remade as a self-aware comedy scifi film. Think it could be hilarious. And Santa has to turn out to originally be from Mars as some warring faction that lost to the current Martians, explaining his magic and his little helpers…

    • @austinmcconnell
      @austinmcconnell  Před rokem +5

      The 10th Film By Quentin Tarantino

    • @slugcult-10_years_and
      @slugcult-10_years_and Před 3 měsíci

      No way. A self aware, bad movie never works. The best bad movies are the ones that are really trying to be the best, and fall flat on it's face and still can't see it.

  • @ReVision..
    @ReVision.. Před rokem +69

    Sad thing is, this isn't the worst Christmas movie, by far! I actually had so much fun watching this with friends last year, something which can not be said about the billion horrible romcom Christmas movies that exist.

    • @Yesica1993
      @Yesica1993 Před rokem +7

      Ha ha! I would totally watch this over any Hallmark-type stuff!

    • @captcrouton
      @captcrouton Před rokem +1

      I'd watch it again before that creepy Christmas train movie. Mercifully, I can't remember the title right now.

    • @alexlopezvieira7697
      @alexlopezvieira7697 Před rokem +2

      @@captcrouton The Polar Express?

    • @captcrouton
      @captcrouton Před rokem +1

      @@alexlopezvieira7697 Yes, the train through uncanny valley and those dead eyes. The bum on top of the train. Creepiest Christmas movie in existence.

  • @DrySushi
    @DrySushi Před rokem +317

    If this gets a remake they could tie to the Mars Needs Moms universe

  • @DramaQueenBiz
    @DramaQueenBiz Před rokem +109

    We used to run this on our Cable Access channel each year at Christmas. Kiddies seemed to like it, ah the memories :)

    • @ocularpatdown
      @ocularpatdown Před rokem +1

      It used to be a tradition on KTLA-TV (Los Angeles Channel 5) to air this movie during the Christmas season.

  • @DWN037
    @DWN037 Před rokem +25

    My Dad is 65, and he warned me about this movie. I was hoping he was wrong.

  • @Living_Murphys_Law
    @Living_Murphys_Law Před rokem +32

    This is one of three movies where a green guy tries to stop Christmas from happening.

  • @bordonerickson5695
    @bordonerickson5695 Před rokem +14

    Alight now I know that the film Kevin Bacon was watching in Guardians of the Galaxy Christmas Special was real.

  • @TonisFilmClub
    @TonisFilmClub Před rokem +36

    Holy crap, this video was quite a bizarre glitch in the matrix moment for me. Literally two days ago I released a video about why some movies become holiday classics, and in it, I have a quick flash of dozens of obscure Christmas movies.
    "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" is on screen for ONE SINGLE FRAME, and as a little easter egg - it is the only one for which I actually left a little note saying that it sounds oddly interesting.
    On top of that there is also a shot of me watching Christmas movies in my blue pyjamas.
    Great minds think alike, eh? We should be friends.

  • @TheSaneHatter
    @TheSaneHatter Před rokem +13

    In a way, this film DID get a remake: the plot seems to foreshadow "The Nightmare before Christmas" quite a bit, and this seems like exactly the kind of thing Tim Burton would steal from.
    Also, here's a piece of trivia: the little girl martian is actually Pia Zadora, in her showbiz debut!

    • @geoffreyrichards6079
      @geoffreyrichards6079 Před rokem +3

      This really feels like a film deserving of a Rankin-Bass styled animated remake.

  • @smugbowkid9919
    @smugbowkid9919 Před rokem +191

    Seeing as I was thoroughly entertained by the concept of Santa murdering people in “Violent Night,” I’d say the Christmas Industry just needs more of those sweet Action Christmas Movies.

  • @Yesica1993
    @Yesica1993 Před rokem +20

    I laughed out loud at the names of the Mars kids. But that part about them being concerned for their kids over the same stuff we should be concerned for our kids today was pretty on point! Not sure the solution is Santa, but at least it was an idea worth exploring.

  • @marcuslargent876
    @marcuslargent876 Před rokem +16

    I got this movie on DVD at a White Elephant party. When I showed off what I got, someone pointed out that the movie stars Pia Zadora. I was unaware of who that was

    • @austinmcconnell
      @austinmcconnell  Před rokem +11

      You're like the fifth person to mention getting it as a White Elephant gift. 🤣

    • @hansvanzutphen
      @hansvanzutphen Před rokem +1

      @@austinmcconnell Pia Zadora managed to be in not one, but two of the worst movies ever made. The other one is a musical film called Voyage of the Rock Aliens from 1984, which' visual effects are probably about equally bad to this Martians film. It did leave us with one song that's still popular today though, Pia Zadora sings it, together with Jermaine Jackson (Michael Jackson's brother; not the dude in this clip in the film): czcams.com/video/sJZC54x1SVY/video.html

  • @pantone369c
    @pantone369c Před rokem +19

    I had totally erased the fact that I had seen this movie probably 10 years ago from my mind. Thanks for the reminder that it exists, I guess.

  • @Noob64
    @Noob64 Před rokem +24

    This was actually in the Guardians of the Galaxy holiday special.

    • @Danestewartfilms
      @Danestewartfilms Před rokem +7

      The parallel of space people capturing someone beloved from earth is interesting 🤔

    • @kevinm5940
      @kevinm5940 Před rokem +2

      Santa Clause does actually exist in the Marvel universe, and is canonically one of the most powerful characters on earth.

    • @sonicfanboy3375
      @sonicfanboy3375 Před rokem +1

      @@kevinm5940 I wanna see Santa's power grid

  • @thebradwallace
    @thebradwallace Před rokem +9

    I first learned about this movie when I was in chemistry class. The teacher printed out a list of christmas movies, and this one was one of them. I believe i laughed very hard by reading the name.
    I can't remember, but I think we might've actually watched the movie as well in class afterwards because we all were clueless what it was

  • @ryandoherty4291
    @ryandoherty4291 Před rokem +19

    I’m so glad you decided to cover this movie! My grandma gave this movie to me when I was 14, and my cousins and I treat it like a holiday tradition to watch it. The movie sucks, but it always reminds me of grandma, so it makes the movie bearable. Plus it’s a good movie to drink and have a few laughs!

  • @entropias_gonos
    @entropias_gonos Před rokem +11

    This reads like a lite comedy but it has such strong "awkward yet terrifying scp setup" vibes 😅

  • @flap.d.jack247
    @flap.d.jack247 Před rokem +46

    holy shit i just watched this with my grandparents last night

  • @ocularpatdown
    @ocularpatdown Před rokem +4

    Ah, I see you’ve discovered “Santa Claus Conquers the Martians,” featuring Pia Zadora.
    I’d still sooner watch this schlock than any Hallmark Christmas movie.
    Hooray for Santy Claus!

  • @MarbleSodaPop
    @MarbleSodaPop Před rokem +7

    My family has a DVD of this that I found this year and we laughed about it a bit and planned to watch it, but now we can't find it. I also want to mention that Clause was spelled two different ways on the cover between the front and the spine
    Edit: We found the DVD

  • @pattheplanter
    @pattheplanter Před rokem +3

    The Mars children all watched Earth TV, so why did they not recognise the handshake?

  • @ValueNetwork
    @ValueNetwork Před rokem +6

    I think this really puts films like Star Wars in perspective. This is probably the most stereotypical bit of 50s to 70s Sifi media you could ever get... I love it, but I also get why it disinterested audiences and made Sifi a very hit or miss genera to work in until Lucas had some fresh world-building ideas that wasn’t green men with ray blasters!
    (Also this was filmed before the moon landings, they were very optimistic if they thought the US could reach Mars in the mid 60s)

  • @xliquidflames
    @xliquidflames Před rokem +3

    14:36 That colorful thing on the wall that rocks up and down totally looks like a musical instrument. It's like a section of a giant obo or something. Where the heck would they get a giant colorful obo?
    Edit: I looked it up. It's _definitely_ the middle of a big clarinet. Where did they get a huge color clarinet from? Why would someone make that thing? What purpose did it serve before this low budget movie borrowed it and tried to pass it off as a martian machine?

    • @xliquidflames
      @xliquidflames Před rokem

      If you keep Droppo as comic relief, you have to get Rob Snyder for that part.

  • @Macieks300
    @Macieks300 Před rokem +10

    I thought this was going to at least mention the Guardians of the Galaxy Christmas special where aliens kidnap Kevin Bacon.

    • @arnixen
      @arnixen Před rokem +1

      I think Kevin bacon is watching this movie in one scene of the special

  • @mahatmarandy5977
    @mahatmarandy5977 Před rokem +5

    When I was but a wee child, like 1973-75-ish or thereabouts, in grade school, on the last day before Christmas break, they'd shuffle all us kids into the cafeteria/auditorium and have us watch this movie and "Melody time." It was a half-day, we weren't gonna pay attention in class anyway, and this was a convenient and copyright-free way of keeping all us seven year olds seated and staring in the same direction.
    I weirdly love this movie.

  • @lostanimal
    @lostanimal Před rokem +4

    at 9:25 an Italian newspaper appears and it's talking about Segni's health problem. Segni was the President of the Italian Republic during these days. I don't know what that has to do with the movie lmao

    • @austinmcconnell
      @austinmcconnell  Před rokem +4

      From what I understand, the foreign newspapers are just regular newspapers, and they thought the audience would just assume they were talking about Santa, too.

  • @ronnykohler3130
    @ronnykohler3130 Před rokem +6

    Every time the kids and Santa laughed it sounded like a villain in a stereotypical superhero movie.
    11:18 if there were a light source under his face it would be the perfect setting for the villain 😂

    • @austinmcconnell
      @austinmcconnell  Před rokem +2

      Depending on your perspective, they are the villains. 🤷🏻‍♂️

  • @Watcher-pt6uq
    @Watcher-pt6uq Před rokem +12

    This is somehow both the most mundabe and insane plot I've heard of.

  • @madumlao
    @madumlao Před rokem +1

    needs to be remade as a real time strategy game with over the top hammy acting. martians are the military race with high powered guns and lasers (Protoss). Santa using elves and toys to generate large numbers of cheap units (Zerg). Space force is the humans (Terran). Plot twist, Santa is an Eldritch horror that is actually going to conquer Mars and Earth for real so that he can get access to the portals in Doom. Earth and Mars have to team up together to stop him.

  • @edeffects
    @edeffects Před rokem +5

    Seeing those effects shots makes me want to attempt a Star Trek TOS style remaster. As in just editing out the old space shots and replacing them with new CG ones
    Could even make a shot of the StarShot blowing up to explain why it just disappears lol

  • @elpegaso
    @elpegaso Před rokem +2

    I always heard it "Torg". "Torque" makes more sense, I guess, for this movie.
    The best way to watch this film is the Mystery Science Theater 3000, Rifftrax, or Cinematic Titanic versions. The MST3K version is recommended, mainly for the holiday standard "Let's Have a Patrick Swayze Christmas" is featured during a host segment, and it's not Christmas without a good action sequence, imho.
    I kinda love this movie, btw. Santa was kidnapped but still willing to help those in need. There's a deeper Cold War allegory buried in there but I don't like to dig that far lest the guy in the polar bear suit might swipe angrily at me.
    The remake was planned, with Jim Carrey attached as Droppo, but fell into development hell. Probably for the best?
    "Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny" is a lot worse 'film' and not well known.

    • @MarbleSodaPop
      @MarbleSodaPop Před rokem

      Honestly I feel like the robot's name was pronounced differently every time it was said, because I was confused about that when watching this movie

  • @machinat3636
    @machinat3636 Před rokem +6

    Oh maaaan I remember finding this movie exploring through internet archive. Soon as I saw the title I knew exactly what film you would review

  • @daddytwins2003
    @daddytwins2003 Před rokem +4

    I am kind of mad at you tube waiting 8 days to put this in my recommendations. I watch all of Austin's videos. Good job as always. Hope CZcams stops trying to kill your channel.

    • @austinmcconnell
      @austinmcconnell  Před rokem +1

      Hey Jason! Sorry about the current state of things... I have no idea what's happening, and I'm trying my best... I really appreciate you taking the time to watch. If you've got some spare time, leave a like and share it around. Maybe that'll finally jostle something in CZcams's system to get my channel back in people's feeds. Thanks!

  • @kassette1416
    @kassette1416 Před rokem +2

    the final conflict scene with the kids fighting the bad guy with toys and stuff looks like they had a lot of fun filming, kinda wholesome :D

  • @Hailfire97
    @Hailfire97 Před rokem +2

    You know who I'd nominate for a remake of this? Tim Burton. Hear me out -- it's a creepy tale about childlike whimsy being attacked head-on by a creepy, militant faction that threatens to destroy that which is good and wholesome. This is right there with Alice in Wonderland or Nightmare Before Christmas in terms of vibes, and he'd be perfect for it.
    And make Johnny Depp Volmar. He's got to be someone in this (thanks, Mr. Burton), and either Volmar or the news anchor would be the only options.

  • @kpfields7130
    @kpfields7130 Před rokem +9

    I think you found the Santa for your Cinematic Universe!

  • @glendunzweilerproductions2812

    I love this movie! Plus, I found out that my friend is the son of the director. ‘Kidsploitation’ films like this were apparently popular. He directed it because his daughter wanted him to do it. My friend says that reviews at the time called it a kid’s movie that parents didn’t hate sitting through. I saw it in 2005. It was one of the first movies that I could stream (in parts) online!

  • @wcdeich4
    @wcdeich4 Před rokem +1

    You should make Santa from Santa Clause Conquers the Martians a character in your cinematic universe. Maybe he never returns from Mars, but with a combination of Martian technology + his magic, he can open inter-dimensional portals to deliver toys back on Earth. And maybe he's a really powerful character that barely ever uses his power, except to give wisdom, like the White Guardian in Dr Who.

  • @justsomerandomguy8210
    @justsomerandomguy8210 Před rokem +4

    2:47 omg I didn’t think they would have it but they do!! The martian canals this is honestly amazing and makes the movie that much more hilarious

  • @aneru9396
    @aneru9396 Před rokem +1

    18:37
    Honestly, I’d be down for a remake that is heavily inspired by the Military industrial complex Santa Clause Operation within Arthur Christmas. The dots align so well with this plot and the technology in Arthur Chirstmas, it’s wild

  • @AdventureMase
    @AdventureMase Před rokem +2

    9:23 They seriously misspelled "kidnapped" in a movie 😭

  • @dignusferox2570
    @dignusferox2570 Před rokem +6

    Of all the Christmas gifts I've ever received this movie was one of them

  • @BrianJenkinsDC
    @BrianJenkinsDC Před rokem +5

    I saw this in my recommended and it made me laugh because it's such a Austin McConnell like video to make. I love these videos, the funny and the serious ones so thank you, you're awesome!

  • @crimetimeproductions6340

    My theory is that Santa is on hella shrooms the entire time, which is why he just goes around giggling at shit and doesn't seem remotely phased by the fact that he's been abducted by aliens

  • @TheMule47
    @TheMule47 Před rokem +3

    a good review of a well known classic of cheesy movies. i do raise my eyebrow at the "I did it. i found the worst Christmas movie." because 1) this movie is pretty well known in weird, cheesy b-movie fan circles, having been riffed on Mystery Science Theater 3000 and re-riffed in multiple spin offs. it was also the namesake for the techno band "The Laziest Men on Mars" from the early 2000s, and their song "Nothing Can Stop Torg!" (it's Torg, not Tork/Torque)and 2) this is no where near the worst Christmas movie. weirdest, most baffling, but i'll take this lunacy over generic Hallmark Christmas movie #347 any day.

  • @Glowhal
    @Glowhal Před rokem +2

    Every December me and my family have a tradition of watching the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episode for Santa Claus Conquers The Martians.

  • @Ayden_B
    @Ayden_B Před rokem +7

    The MST3K episode of this movie is yearly viewing in my house, such a classic

  • @zebragrrl
    @zebragrrl Před rokem +1

    Any conversation about this film is incomplete without mentioning that it was also featured on Mystery Science Theater 3000, during it's golden 'third season'. (Episode 321 aka s03e21)

  • @WesJFin
    @WesJFin Před rokem +9

    One of my favorite MST3K episodes! Was cool to see it cameo in the Guardians Christmas special also.

  • @frankowalker4662
    @frankowalker4662 Před rokem +33

    I watched this film last christmas and quite enjoyed it. (I'd drunk a fair bit of rum at the time. LOL)

  • @garythescouttrooper4908
    @garythescouttrooper4908 Před rokem +3

    I remember watching Santa Claus Conquers the Martians on Mystery Science Theater 3000 for Christmas Special on Sci-Fi when I was little. Even with the commentary the movie itself was insane anyway.

  • @LillianGraceFullofficial
    @LillianGraceFullofficial Před 10 měsíci +1

    my dad showed me this one day and we always watch it around Christmas time. it’s just so bad it’s perfectly wholesome and hilarious.

  • @DungeonDragon18
    @DungeonDragon18 Před rokem +1

    I remember the first time I saw this movie. My friend got a box set of low-budget 60's movies, and let me pick which one we watched. I saw the title "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" and I knew I had to see that for myself. My favorite part will always be the guy in the polar bear costume.

  • @mahatmarandy5977
    @mahatmarandy5977 Před 3 měsíci

    I actually have a lot of fun memories of this movie. When I was in grade school in the early 1970s they would hurt us all into the cafeteria for the last half day before Christmas break and they would have us watch this movie and Disney’s Melody time back to back. I have absolutely no idea why. I remember being genuinely frightened by the polar bear, and them seeing the lights on the horizon, and thinking it’s Santa‘s workshop, then, realizing they are just the glowing eyes of the robot…. that’s actually a pretty good twist reveal. I’m actually surprised somebody hasn’t ripped that off and used it in a much better film.
    I love the laughing scenes which just go on forever and seem to exist only to fill dead air. There’s one in here that I think goes on for about two minutes straight.
    The little human girl is a very young Pia Zadora.
    I have a baseless hunch that the Starshot mission was supposed to either fight the evil Martian on mars, or simply show up in the end to give Santa a lift back home. Probably the latter, but they just ran out of cash. (Those papier machie caves don’t pay for themselves, you know.)
    Anyway: I like this movie in a way that can only be described as feeling Sorry for it. This was somebody’s dream and it was all of these peoples one big shot and… This is what we got. It’s endearing in an awful way, kind of like a child at a talent show trying to do a magic trick and blowing it and spilling milk all over the floor and running off screaming (i did that once).

  • @ichabodnoodle9595
    @ichabodnoodle9595 Před rokem +3

    I remember this one well. It got replayed three or four christmases in a row when I was young and it’s the sort of movie that stays with you.

  • @Aguila1138
    @Aguila1138 Před rokem

    Just watched your video about the Grace "painting" on Nebula, and since you didn't have it up yet on YT I had to comment here...
    I've literally, no joke, never seen that painting before your video. Great video! Great image! But, wow, I must have been under an uncultured rock for so long.

  • @ZephyrKazoo
    @ZephyrKazoo Před rokem +14

    I am terribly addicted to all of Austin's videos

  • @MrDreyven
    @MrDreyven Před rokem +8

    These always make me wonder how many times you need to watch these movies to discover, form opinions, write a whole script around them etc You gotta have seen this at least 10-ish times in various ways?

  • @SuperHGB
    @SuperHGB Před rokem +5

    mars is just "a brave new world" in this movie
    Edit: with a shade of 1984

  • @talongaudio939
    @talongaudio939 Před rokem +1

    I had to watch this movie in 4th grade. It was my Teachers' favorite Christmas movie, then write a report on the movie which was due after the break. My brothers always told me the movie did not exist. I have now forced as many people as possible to watch this movie as I could as it is comical at how bad it actually is.

  • @NemoCat20
    @NemoCat20 Před rokem +2

    Honestly there could be a decent story and twist on a Santa Clause story here. A modern remake would be interesting! Merry Christmas Austin! 😊🎄

  • @jamesplayzreviews
    @jamesplayzreviews Před rokem +2

    Hey Austin, when's a trailer going to release for Atlas? Wondering because since the Kickstarter and the acting thing there's hasn't been much news other than February being part of the release date.

    • @austinmcconnell
      @austinmcconnell  Před rokem +2

      Hey James! Still deep in production. Kickstarter backers at the producer level are getting monthly updates, but I’ll have a big public update on this channel in January if all goes well.

  • @meimei8718
    @meimei8718 Před rokem +2

    I’m with The Green Fox Bandit. I knew about this movie through MST3K. I did not know they used seasoned actors because I was laughing too hard at the jokes from the guy and his two robot friends. Ah, good times. Thanks for the video.

  • @mina86
    @mina86 Před rokem

    9:25 - By the way, the Polish newspaper (the first one dropped on the US newspaper) appears to be an actual paper (Życie Warszawy) from August 1964 mentioning honorary guard in front of Aleksander Zawadzki’s coffin. I’m not sure of exact date but the guy died on 7th so it must have been issue from within a week or so.

  • @mikek6298
    @mikek6298 Před rokem

    Santa Claus Conquerors the Martians has been remade, just not as a Christmas movie. The fondly remembered (by me) 2011 film "Mars Needs Moms" is strikingly similar. It's even just as aggressively from it's time as this movie.
    Maybe it's not a proper remake, but I was reminded of it by your description of the plot

  • @thomasedison3700
    @thomasedison3700 Před rokem +4

    The whole last scene is straight outta fever dream
    Its great

  • @grmboy3223
    @grmboy3223 Před rokem +1

    watched whole video, liked, and I always get a ring when you upload. I love your videos man keep it up. hope the channel doesn't die

  • @sizzis2045
    @sizzis2045 Před rokem

    Maybe I'm confusing it with another movie, but wasn't there a scene which showed international newspapers one after the other supposedly headlining the abduction of Santa by Martians or something? ...Except only the English one created ad-hoc did, while the French, German and all the rest are simply regular newspapers that they bought somewhere. Among them in particular there was an Italian newspaper which, of all things, headined the grave health conditions of Antonio Segni, then president of the republic (some history: he was hit in 1964 by a thrombosis, forcing him to resign from office, although he eventually recovered).

  • @jenniferschillig3768
    @jenniferschillig3768 Před 6 měsíci

    Interesting to note that Bill McCutcheon, who plays Dropo, actually did have quite a decent career after this...he played Bob's Uncle Wally on Sesame Street, was Ouiser's beau Owen in Steel Magnolias, and landed a Tony for a 1988 revival of Anything Goes.

  • @mtbrocket
    @mtbrocket Před rokem +3

    They included a positive portrayal of the military so they could get funding from them. The B story was shoehorned in just for this reason and since they wanted Santa to be the hero they had to drop it as soon and their obligation was fore-filled. 😊 Great video as usual.

  • @aikisteven0616
    @aikisteven0616 Před rokem +3

    As I've stated many, many times, I do NOT recommend trying to watch this movie unless you've got the MST3K or Rifftrax versions, if you want to keep your sanity intact!!

  • @EvenTheDogAgrees
    @EvenTheDogAgrees Před rokem +3

    Ah, yes, with the unforgettable quote "No offense, but you are a robot, aren't you?" 😂
    Ah, no, it seems I'm confusing it with another one. This is the one with Droppo and Tork, both sampled heavily in the early internet meme songs by The Laziest Men on Mars (also a Droppo reference). If that was before your time, look 'em up, the songs are hilarious!

  • @TheJoebus666
    @TheJoebus666 Před rokem +3

    9:23 "KIDNAPED"

  • @IncendiarySolution
    @IncendiarySolution Před rokem +2

    That little green kid looking at that sus handshake is the appropriate response

  • @daniel_wilkinson
    @daniel_wilkinson Před rokem +4

    The costume department had to make eight or nine of those helmets. And the props department had to come up with all the toys and weap*ns. With a straight face.

    • @pattheplanter
      @pattheplanter Před rokem

      "How do you cock a hairdryer?"
      "Dunno. Joe, you're going to the hardware shop for the hat plumbing? Get something for the hairdryer, can you?"

  • @_g8dfathr_678
    @_g8dfathr_678 Před rokem +2

    I want to see this remade as part of the Bargain Bin Cinematic Universe. Make it happen, Austin!

  • @Kinzokugia
    @Kinzokugia Před rokem +5

    Alternate suggestion: The Santa Clause Conquers the martians. The Tim Allen one.

  • @chelseayeaaa
    @chelseayeaaa Před rokem +5

    This movie gave the same vibes as the Star-wars Christmas special but with a much smaller budget

  • @jakeaaron
    @jakeaaron Před rokem +1

    Isn't this pretty well know from MST3K?
    It was one of their most famous episodes along with Manos and Space Mutiny .

  • @ManyBurgers-
    @ManyBurgers- Před rokem +2

    20:58 Comedic music but it's just a burning memory.

  • @ColinHadaway
    @ColinHadaway Před rokem

    Will never not look forward to a new Austin vid!

  • @Jesup1204
    @Jesup1204 Před rokem +1

    A friend of mine and I do movie reviews and we covered this movie last year. My new GF joined us for the screening and she was dumbfounded at how my friend and I were cracking up so hard she was legitimately worried about us. Point is, I love this movie as the hallmark equivalent to The Room.