Are Stephen And Jon Batiste In The Facebook Metaverse Right Now?
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- čas přidán 18. 05. 2024
- Without a doubt the best part of Mark Zuckerberg's introduction to the metaverse was the free Jon Batiste concert! #Colbert #Comedy #Monologue
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The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the premier late night talk show on CBS, airing at 11:35pm EST, streaming online via Paramount+, and delivered to the International Space Station on a USB drive taped to a weather balloon. Every night, viewers can expect: Comedy, humor, funny moments, witty interviews, celebrities, famous people, movie stars, bits, humorous celebrities doing bits, funny celebs, big group photos of every star from Hollywood, even the reclusive ones, plus also jokes. - Zábava
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After being on Facebook for 10 years, I Deleted it in 2019 and never looked back. Now I’m even more glad I did!
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
to put in simple term for gen z... facebook is Meta gaming
you are not the target market
It's still a relevant way for us shut-ins to converse with the world.
As a dad whose son did start having a British accent after he watched peppa pig, he truly hit the nail on the head.
My child did too.
I've said it before but Peppa Pig is the UK's retaliation for Barney.
@@telectronix1368 barney was a menace. Melted my brain as a child, it was torture
@@telectronix1368 my kids (we're British) all refused to watch Barney. All did it individually, they were either not interested and would toddle off, or would cry!
I was hoping that once my granddaughter had got past the Peppa stage I'd never need to see it again (she's a brat! Peppa, I mean), but then my daughter had another "surprise" two years ago. You should see my Xmas list for her... I'm in Peppa up to my ears!
This happened to me with a show I watched as a toddler called "Kipper". Started calling gas "petrol"
So the selling point for "Meta" is "illegally stream a concert to your friends without them buying a ticket and paying the musicians and crew".
Oh no. The end of live concerts?
@@mwilson7842 No more so than pirating killed recordings, but still stealing.
100% I worked for security at a powderfinger concert and the band , made security had to stop any filming of the concert. It w was tuff getting 3 eryone to put there phones down.
Updated Napster plan. Ya know, that one his friend tried before getting sued and shut down. Bye, bye, bye…
I don't think that's what it was portraying. You're not going to be able to project a 3D virtual world with your phone just because you're there at the concert. It's more like the band will have the technology setup at the venue so they can charge people to watch it virtually.
“We are going to be the metaverse first. Not Facebook first. But don’t you worry, the self esteem of teenage girls will always be last!” Stephen and his writers are tragically accurate!
Best writers on TV!
You are right
That's why in order to endorse changing a products name, tampons changed their name to zuckerbergs
It's nothing new. It's been around for years and years.
@@jefschobert9765 good one!!😀
2:30 No Mark. No, none of us were wondering why you're doing it now. It's specifically BECAUSE of the scrutiny and public debate.
Metaverse: to take your mind off how badly we effed up the real one.
Nice one!!!!
Wouldn’t the Metaverse be effed up faster?
Zuckerberg looks like he's been taking his "act human" lessons seriously.
😂😂😂
Perhaps, so why is he still failing so badly?
To be fair, the lessons are computationally complex and involves a recursive, adversarial algorithm looping through countless iterations to optimize the behavior for maximal reciprocation.
He still has a long way to go.....
Also came here to comment that the lessons clearly didn't take.
So, Zuck just sat there thinking of the most ominous-sounding company name straight out of the darkest arc of a dystopian comic series, huh?
Even social media has to be a Cinematic Universe lol
"When someone tries to tell you what they're like, listen"
Is it my imagination or Zuckerberg looks like David8, the android in the Alien franchise?
"Growth for the sake of growth is the ideology of the cancer cell."
― Edward Abbey
And all U.S. Socialpathic/ Psychopathic businesses. They are drug addicts and always FEEL THEY NEED MORE MONEY & POWER!!! What they ACTUALLY NEED a HUGE DRUG INTERVENTION by OUR CONGRESS, OUR LAW ENFORCEMENT & MOSTLY the AMERICAN PEOPLE!!!
@@evatripp7788 q
Great quote
Agent Smith's Corollary: "Every mammal on this planet instinctively develops a natural equilibrium with the surrounding environment; but you humans do not. Instead you multiply, and multiply, until every resource is consumed. ... There is another organism on this planet that follows the same pattern... a virus."
@@chuck5279 Ha! That was the first place my mind went too lol
"I don't want to TALK ABOUT THIS BULLSHIT ANYMORE..." that was truly visceral, Stephen.
He doesn't have to talk about it, *but* he loves that paycheck so he does what he's told.
I feel it too, Stephen.
@@socraytes so...any job on this earth then
*"I never metadata I didn't steal."*
- Mark Zuckerberg
Oooh..... Good one!
I never metadata didn't buy dinner 4
In Hebrew the word Meta means “dying”.
Seems fit then
Wow
But who will it be? We or them?
In Yoruba(Nigeria) it means three or threefold
The writers are killing it!
i agree! todays monologue was so fun
Absolutely 🤣🤣🤣🤣
I was thinking the same thing!!! 😂
Hit and miss.
Right!!!
ah yes. the "that was Facebook, we are Meta." defense.
Aannnnddddd...... Mark will be the CEO of Meta and someone else will go to Congress to testify as the CEO of Facebook
You US pulled that with France. After France went into debt fighting the British for the US, and then overthrew their royals based on the example set by the US, the US had the balls to tell France that since they aren't technically the same governement that helped, then the US doesn't owe France anything.
Trying to stay ahead of breakup that's coming
It will be used.
lol, obv that would not hold up in any court
When you are getting too much bad press and are on the verge of being regulated, you launch a new name platform. It is like the furniture store that has liquidation sales every year and comes back with new names.
Seems like Colbert is really on top of his game and enjoying himself.
This is one of the best I've ever seen. It expresses our frustration and the utter insanity of the current situation in a histerical way.
An hysterical way*
@@gimmedimmy6533 glad someone can correct my grammer
In official English grammar, ‘a’ should go before a word starting with a consonant (all letters in the alphabet except the vowels) whilst ‘an’ should go before words starting with a vowel (a, e, i, o, u). However, in some English dialects that don’t pronounce the ‘h’ in many words (e.g. Cockney English), then ‘an’ can be used because the ‘h’, a consonant, is ignored. In most major dialects (Commwealth English, American English), “a hysterical” is correct.
@@amphoteric1729
Mine would be that dialect. I'm not American. I know it's archaic English but it's just a preference. I probably should have said "A hysterical" given it's the most commonly used phrasing but I just wasn't that invested until now lol.
@@gimmedimmy6533 maybe kinder and in better keeping with the fun mood to focus on the ideas offered and not a tiny surface error?
Best monologue Colbert’s done in ages!
With Facebook and Zuck, he had a lot to work with! 😄 Great job, Stephen.
The crowd was lovin’ it!
Almost like being back in the storage closet.
I agree. He was hitting it out of the park today!
This is the funniest monologue in a while 😂 Some of those good old satire-punches are back.
When you're used to getting NOTHING anything can feel like a lot but this bill is grossly inadequate. It's been so painfully watered down. It's sad.
I have a good suggestion for a new name for Facebook - "Cesspool"!
Truth in advertising!
pimplecalendar eyesite readingwhile - now one handed.
I just realized zuckerberg has that non blinking long stare that only psychopath and sociopaths have.
Yep snl makes fun of it all the times. The skits are funny
I know, right? 😨
Reptiles really don't blink much
And actors, if you blink normally, you look nuts...
Howard Stern made fun of an acting video (Michael Caine) he had bought before his movie, on Letterman.
"Ha ha, this is so stupid, he says just stares and stares and..."
In the movie...did exactly what Caine said, rarely blinks and works at "closing" his eyes instead.
Zuck just paid somebody to watch the video...
"And?"
"DON'T BLINK"
"Gotcha..."
Same in commercials, even Stephen when his doing a bit or setting up a joke. The Zuck is just bad at it...
...and corporate billioinaire's
I wish I could have “liked” every joke. I think this might be the best monologue ever.
Stephen's "Do it or don't do it! I'm Out!" about congress and their incessant hemming and hawing is exactly how so many of Americans feel right now. If anybody at my work spent so long doing absolutely nothing, and then never compromised with co-workers on projects, and basically ignored 70% of the client's input and wishes, that person would be out of a job. What are these people in Congress doing? They want pats on the back when they pass a bill? Get over yourselves, congress!
So the “meta verse” is basically a reboot of Second Life.
cue boner storm
AKA "Get a Life"
what's second life?
@@jayweh VRChat
@@jayweh A video game from 20 years ago.
When Zuckerberg did the outfit thing I swore Stephen was about to do a 'skeletons in the closet' joke.
Zark Muckerberg lmfao
Or a Karate Kid joke.
Or something about Mr. Pumpkins
“I don’t want to talk about this bs anymore”. Stephen Colbert. I totally agree
Do people recognize how talented this man is. Wow, he was really on tonight.
How old are you, 50?
Thanks Manchin and Sinema for keeping us all screwed for going to college.
Look, buy a coal mine and maybe Manchin will see what he can do for you.
@@raggedcritical Or outsource a pharmaceutical company and send American jobs overseas. He might pay you a million dollar bonus!
But they're corporate masters are happy!
Oct 28th they’d not said they’d vote “yes”. Head of The Manchin Crime Family & Petulant Child are standing in the way of Biden’s agenda.
Thank the Supreme Court for selling out this country, our politicians, our infrastructure and now they're working on our rights. Do you ever notice how there's always at least one obstructionist for getting anything non-corporate done? It's by Design.
In the UK we keep renaming schools from X Secondary School to Y Academy to distance the school from it past failings. Same location, pupils and teachers, and quite often same buildings. But it does create a new set of data on performance.
Ha yes. I taught English in a seriously rough school in East London, which had 3 names in the three years I worked there. First change was because some of our kids got recruited into ISIS and became jihadi brides, second change because four of the five most senior teachers (including the head/ principal) were caught giving kids the answers to GCSE maths exams/ tampering with exam papers afterwards and were fired. The final straw for me at that place was when a horrible girl squirted hand sanitiser into an autistic boy’s eye during my class. He, quite reasonably IMO, punched her in the face. School suspended him and did not punish her in any way, because they were frightened of her father, whose response to his three children’s consistently awful behaviour was to constantly threaten to sue the school, which he did actually do earlier that year over a violent incident with another of his kids. So I had the utter f*cking indignity of sitting in a “restorative justice” meeting where the Head of Behaviour MADE A JOKE to the girl about how she should “leave your hand sanitiser in your locker from now on”. Didn’t matter how nice the new logo was, by Name Three it was still an arrant sh*tshow and I’d had enough.
Phewf - it appears I had stuff to get off my chest there ahaha. Sorry for the essay 🤣
I still fully expect to hear "After months of argument, debate, negotiation, and multiple rewrites of one of the most extensive reform bills in US history, Congress has finally agreed to... do nothing at all."
"we were put on this earth" hits different when Zuckerberg says it.
Well, I guess... if he has the power to reshape the world, he may as well claim the right to determine why we're here.
🛸
"We were put on this earth to create... A WAY TO CONQUER YOUR PRIMITIVE SPECIES. We will do so without firing a single shot."
You're a Wizard, Henry...
That's why Colbert is King
On FIRE tonight!🔥
Well, his writers.
I've never had a Fakebook page either. I've never felt like I was missing anything. Still don't.
Yup...
F#@k Facebook!
Metalbass10000
Because you have no friends in real life.
Well you are missing social inferiority, hate speech, batshit conspiracy theories, awesome life stories that you will never live, and of course grandma pestering you why you haven't added her as a friend yet.
@@AloisAgos Who wan't a grandma and mom who lied about who cannot find out who's ther real dad is? - If i was in my homeland, I've shooted myself for long time ago, since I am on country with restrict law of weapons, I am still alive. - Haven't your mom or dad ever told you: never judge a book by it cover?
@@AloisAgos been on fb since 2009 and all i see are my friends posts, and some food and music sites...nothing political or anything else that many people are seeing...not sure why ... also ,same goes for the friends I actually keep in touch with regularly...I've found people I grew up with or went to school or worked with
"By far, bigger than any bill passed to fight climate change before..."
Sounds impressive, until you consider what a low bar that truly is.
“River. What river?” ❤️ u Stephen Colbert. Comic genius!
Matt Gaetz is going to use that word often - “Meta? I hardly know her!”
Hahahahaha!
Meta Gaetz?
Hahahaha
:)
Wait y'all didn't even show Jon after that? He couldn't have been like, "I know that guy!" and then they clap for Jon.
Showing Jon right then might be perceived as a tie-in to CBS/The Late Show officially endorsing the Zuckerworld. Jon must have personally licensed that clip for the Meta ad fully independently of CBS.
@@kindablue1959 Ah, that makes a lot more sense now. I couldn't figure out why then of all times they wouldn't celebrate their friend.
@@tadnanny4511 He's not their friend just the token black guy
@@blaizel3748 There is....more than one black band member in the show..
@@MIIRAPOSA he's still "the token black guy"
We’ve already seen this. It was in Ready Player One, and it’s called OASIS.
“I created the OASIS because I never felt at home in the real world. I didn't know how to connect with the people there. I was afraid, for all of my life, right up until I knew it was ending. That was when I realized, as terrifying and painful as reality can be, it's also the only place where you can find true happiness. Because reality is real.”
- Ernest Cline, Ready Player One
50% emission reduction would still leave usa as emitting 85% more greenhouse gases per capita than Sweden does in 2021. It's not precisely impressive when usa who has been the top emitter for ages until not too long ago is improving themselves to still not being better than other countries.
Still, have a participation trophy 🍹
so, Mark, here’s a new concept, how about, “Actual Reality”
Well, Brandon, your name's time has finally come! I checked your profile, expecting a recent account.
Reality is overrated.
Harder to monetize actual reality
Fly me to Mars and have a cartoon give me a lap dance on Mars. Can reality do that?
I'm 45 minuets from my job, but rent is getting crazy, so I'd like to move 2 hours from my job, but I want you to cut the commute time to 1 minute so I can spend more time with my family. Can reality do that?
One of Stephen's best monologues!
You can thank Joe Manchin for the death of the most progressive part the plan that would have aided poor people; he's also the one who blocked taxing billionaires, because those are his donors. Thanks, Joe. Meanwhile, West Virginia, my mom's home state, remains one of the poorest in the country.
Manchin's voters can thank him for keeping then that way.
Not just Joe, blame it on Corporate and Moderate Democrats, especially Sinema
I live in northern WV, and I have been calling and writing Manchin’s office constantly. He doesn’t seem to understand that all of these social safety net programs would benefit WV more than almost every other state. He wants to rip all the green jobs out of the bill because he doesn’t own any of those. Coal companies, though…
I blame Sara Gideon, Jaime Harrison, & Theresa Greenfield
@@brentsdadgets2658 me too
@@brentsdadgets2658me too
so this "new" metaverse thing, is actually just vrchat.
VRchat without what make VRchat good
Metaverse is not new... it was here before VR chat, right now just Zucc needs to make virtual world so he can act like he has friends
Those plain avatars they showed in meta trailer... you know people are actually gonna be running around as big t1ts sonic.
true
It's a meta of VRChat. The portals go between different games, and you can bring things between them. You will be able to work remotely.
$1.75T is about as much as the Pentagon spends on a couple aircraft carriers. Don't see much coming from that.
Nancy Pelosi is parading out and saying, you'll take these crumbs and you'll like it!
@@elfsong713 Please, because the Republicans, including Sinema and Manchin, won't let us actually pass anything.
And less than the 2T $ ...which was the bipartisan tax cut (mostly for the top 1%) from the Trump government
@@paulfoley9370 News flash: Nancy and Biden have the same corporate donors as Manchin and Sinema. They were only pretending to fight for us.
@@bjornsantens9030 The trump tax cuts which the Biden administration has now made permanent. Happens every time. Same thing happened with Bush and Obama.
I've never Meta Zucker that I didn't wanna punch.
I present to you Zucker from Animal Crossing. :p
Everyone wants to Zucker punch him.
I think Zuck isn't as smart as some folks think he is. Facebook is like Google's poorer aunt. He's no Musk or Gates. He got lucky, moved to fast & broke to many things, without thinking of consequences.
I thought this was an antisemitic joke at first
When Mark says "full eye contact shared sense of space" look over his right shoulder. On that shelf is a bottle of barbecue sauce WTF😂
"Speaking of theoretical magical universe where things might happen one day . . . Congress" Segway mastery!
Yes, the rich and bored are constantly wanting new "toys" to play with. Mark is sure loving "playing" with real lives.
Why hasn't zuck blasted off into space yet?
he's the master of the real Squid Game
@@sorasorisora Nah, that's Bezos.
I mean...a Quest is subsidized down to 300 bucks. Don't need to be rich for that.
Like playing Army with real live moving Army pieces....
Oh that guy is hilarious even pulled Blue Origin into this mess. I’m cracking up lol
It’s quite disconcerting, just how much that Zuckerberg video, looks like something you’d see in a dystopian science-fiction film; complete with an animatronic simulation of how actual humans function, in the ZuckoTron5000, that doesn’t quite get the simulation right, and indicates that something much darker is going on underneath the overly shiny exterior…
It does rather feel like we’re currently living in, what will eventually be known as, the “Before Times”; every time I think “Yep, this has got to be as bad things can possibly get”, it’s like reality sees that as a challenge.
I'm here for the drummer getting his grove on with the tambourine. Hells yes.
Good God I love this man's enthusiasm!!! Stephen tells it like it is!!! We're all tired of this government pending items falling from the vending machine hijinks!! enough already
Zuckerberg says being on Meta will be like being in a room with other people,or what people used to do before social media.They met,they talked,they flirted,and sometimes got married.It was having a life.
cringe. give me the black mirror version already.
Plot twist: Zuck was showing us the real world and we are inside his simulation.
VR chat is that already and it's great, Zuckerberg wants his control back and that's why he's making something to destroy VR chat.
Yeah, cause I can just walk across the ocean to meet my friend in England for lunch. Maybe I'll invite my German buddy, too. He can backpack across Europe in time for tea.
VR is the first tech to allow social interaction remotely. Funny because we have social media companies, LOL.
Social media taught people how not to be social, but now social is being released for social media, so people can learn to be social again.
Now that is the meta joke.
Dude 52% emission reduction by 2030 is amazing!! I’m a kiwi living in Australia and I’m disgusted by the Government saying 27% reduction by 2050. Most been done from one state stopping land clearing and Feds counting some land never going to be cleared as not cleared as well as carry over credits. Also 70% out of 100% is technology with 30% of technology not even invented yet. They won’t tell us the people plan details or how much cost to get coal co-party, coal lobbyists and fossil fuel billionaires on board.
That logo is legit from a game called "startup company", they just switched it from orange/red to blue.
We all know that changing the name of a notoriously evil company always works #blackwater
Zuckerberg is the king of cringe.
I think zuck shaves his forehead
Jorge of Albion not sure about that... "Ted" Cruz is also top of that list...
Eeewwww, yes!
Or "kringe" if you will.
@@susanfrancis5471 and eyebrows apparently?
This monologue had me rolling......😂😂😂
around@11:40 , the upright bassist is bopping sooo hard.so great
That Avatar looks much more realistically human than the actual Zuck.
👏👏👏👏
Zark Metaerberg of the MetaFacebookverse would find this insulting
because it is.
The new logo is copied from Australia's Australian Broadcast Corporation's logo and has been so ever so long.
Although no one has drawn as they have on Zuck's as his sucks?
I can only imagine how hard those aliens are laughing at us. They sent an android that looks nearly human to our planet, and he almost took control of our civilization.
In the metaverse a shark eats Zuckerberg when he's water skiing with ole glory
Stephen’s monologue was on 🔥 tonight! 😆
Zuckerberg sounds like a Real Housewife... "We need to keep moving forward this season"
I still assert that Facebook's name change is to avoid pending legal troubles.
Oh, I’d not heard that . As an added thing: good luck explaining to Granny that the name is changing.
Zuckerberg: “All that damage I caused…Mehhh, doesn’t META.”😏
Perhaps in the metaverse he fronts Congress instead of going sailing?
“LuvOx” is a Classic.
That may have been his best monologue to date.
VitaMetaVegamin
He only called it Meta because the Borg was already taken
I Love That
Facebook trying to pull off a Ye.
Who doesn’t love this man? Lololol! Colbert your awesome!
Mark 'Meta' Zuckerberg is a defective Nexus 5 replicant. 🤖
Remember that bill was proposed at 6 then went to 4 then to 1.75.
If they started at 10 maybe they would have ended up at 6 or 4?
@@mariesia3449 no.
Well, Mark's skin still fits fairly well. Even though he doesn't blink like a real human.
#V
i heard its stuffed with money to make him look young
That's because he sleeps on thin slabs of tofu.
@@mr.wonderful4737 It's stuffed with his "styles!". Then he starts making explosion noises, and wanders off to fight his imagination.
Lol yeah but the scalp cap is slipping back
This is like that episode of South Park where Cartman fuses with a trapper keeper and just grows into an abomination and never can be destroyed
Facebook changing name is the real equivalent of Bond villains telling their evil plans: they started out ranking your face and now they're more about profiting from your metadata.
'Bipawtisan'?
The dogs aren't the only ones dropping steamers on the carpet, I see.
“Why? It’s just the Blue Origin rocket” haha!!
Spot on! The best monologue to date. Thank you for the delivery.
Stephen is a genius; "Dr. Horsey's Microchip-Resistant, Ball-Shrinking, Anti-5G Suppositories."
Angry Yoda: "Talk about this I don't want any more! There is no try"
Oh Stephen, didn’t you know that just when you thought you were out, they pull you back in?
Gosh. I keep bumping into your comments. And when I read them, I hear Zapp Brannigan's voice. 😂
One of your best monologues, Stephen.
Zuckerberg literally talks like Trevor Noah's impression of him.
Is suckerburg a real person? He came across as a total automaton trying to be a friendly human.
Sociopath/psychopath is the leading theory amongst the masses
Magnetic balls means no more clangin' around.
And the ability to always be pointing to true north.
This monologue was so well written omg...
"less than half of the original plan"
No, way less.This started out as 6T$, not 3.5.
To meta is to game the game, I don't think Zuckerberg is that Overpowered yet. Fingers crossed, get on it Antitrust busters.
"Who you gonna call!"
They 'll get on working out how much bribe money they'll ask for to just ignore everything
I thought its rebrand was to highlight the Metadata they have on users
1:35 C'mon man, that joke was genius!! Should have gotten more laughs 🤣
That bottle of sauce on the shelf really tied the whole room together
Definition of "meta": (of a creative work) referring to itself or to the conventions of its genre; self-referential.
"the enterprise is inherently “meta,” since it doesn't review movies, for example, it reviews the reviewers who review movies" Self-referential - yeah, that's Zuck.
Meta: also a brand of slug poison.
In Hebrew it means dying
Ahh yes... rebranding instead of restructuring the business model. #progress
Rebranding so much cheaper.
Stephen's writer's are wild 🤣🤣😂😂
Meta. See "Gavin Belson Signature Box III"🤣😂
I still can’t get over the goddamn BBQ sauce on the bookshelf.
It's the sauce of the leak.
I stole that joke from reddit.
Can't have a book burning without some sauce.
Is it just me or does Mark Zuckerberg remind anyone else of Brent Spinors “Data” character .
apparently most of us
Data had charisma.
I mean Star Trek is feeling more like Reality everyday. So, I can't disagree. But let's give it 4 more centuries. See where this takes us.
After all we're still in the 21st Century, let's savour it while it lasts.
8:51 Absolute gold.
This was so well done, keep it up Colbert team!