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- čas přidán 17. 08. 2024
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The girl at graduate school should pay for her last semester as well
This reminds me of what a friend of mine would say: “Fair is a place to eat cotton candy and play carnival games, not a condition of life.”
That's a great saying!!!
The sooner people figure this out the better
“It’s so noisy at the fair
But all your friends are there.”
Neil Young
Is your friend Dave Ramsey? lmao...
@@cutlerylover Jay Gibson…. excellent firearm teacher. I see your channel has really taken off.
Parents aren't obligated to pay for college...
We know. It's a choice for us
@kbanghart But the caller keeps saying dumb stuff like hes gonna drain his savings. Hello, it's an investment.
Both parents in this case agreed to pay for their kids' college. They should hold up their end of the agreement, or tell the kids *before* they start college that they won't pay.
@@megalodon1726 this is true. However, many have even called in and placed themselves in a bad situation for doing so. It's not worth going into debt over, if not the student, definitely not the now much older parent.
If nothing else, she is morally obligated to fulfill her word, and not pull the rug out from under her son.
That was a good point. The son paying for his own education is not a bad thing. It's part of being an adult. Good point
I was wondering why the caller and ex-wife's money is good enough to pay for the kid's tuition, but the kid's savings shouldn't be used to pay for HIS EDUCATION?
@@steelcastle5616 Ideally, the son's savings shouldn't be used to pay for his education because the son, when he made the decision to start college, was promised that his parents would pay it. When someone else makes a decision based on your promise, you should honor your promises.
Let me give you an analogy: this is like if someone promises to buy you lunch at a restaurant. You order food, eat it, and then when its time for the bill, that person reveals that they're broke. Why would you be upset? Isn't it normal to use your own money to pay for your own food? Yeah, unless you were only eating lunch there because someone else promised to pay for it, in which case you would be rightly upset that they went back on their word right at the end of the meal.
10k is nothing now though, he'll spend that in 3 months just paying rent and buying food when he moves out, he'll probably need that 10k.
@@cashway0420 We all need that 10K.
@@jos_meid Sorry, but I'm not buying that position or example. Consider you only have this guy's word for the "promise" made and there are at least 2 sides to every divorce story. Additionally, this guy attested to lying to and trying to manipulate the ex-wife which calls into question his truthfulness in his matter. This guy should just focus on what he can do with what he has and can control. Although, regardless of promises made, the only person responsible for getting an adult's education is the adult getting it.
I don't understand why the grown children can't pay their own college courses.
Exactly. Me and my wife paid for our own degrees. No help from the folks.
I'm a believer in parents paying for half if they can afford it (for the first year at least), and only subject to the kid(s) passing.
Because college has become exponentially more expensive than it was when our parents went to college. My parents paid for school with summer jobs and a band scholarship. I couldn’t even pay for college with a summer job back inbthe early 2000’s when school was cheaper. That being said, my parents HELPED me pay for college, they didn’t subsidize my entire degree. I plan to do the same for my kids - give them some help as I’m able to afford, but only as long as they also contribute.
What kid has 28k laying around??
@@iykeudo4690 Kids of wealthy people primarily. Unless a person works full time for a few years (and saves) before enrolling in college.
Once the kid(s) get their bachelor degree, it's time they monetize it. At this point, let them go to work and pay for Graduate School themselves.
Did he say she is in law school or medical school??? He said nothing about what her degree is in, so likely she could work and pay her own way! You can work part time while going to college full time, kids are just so freakiing coddled these days. I worked FULL TIME through three full time degrees, including nursing school, it can be done! @@aman-qj5sx
This is America nobody minds their own business...nobody 😂
I took out a student loan in my undergrad and cashflowed my graduate degree. I worked all throughout both degrees. Paying 10k isn't a big deal. Especially for education.
She is living rent free in his head
She's a SQUATTER. I'm glad he's not married to this terrible woman anymore.
Yep. He needs to hit up the Men's Divorce Forum so they can talk some sense into him.
And in his heart.
This is just a reason to keep a connection with her.
Any mature adult would have moved on and not expect an "ex" to do anything.
My parents told me they were paying for my education so they could manipulate me. Then, when I was done, my father threw the bill on my floor and walked away. To do that he had to forge my name on the loan documents. So even if this kid chips in ten thousand he still is yards ahead of me and other students who have to pay the bills themselves.
wow. I'm guessing you and your dad don't talk anymore.
I hope it’s no contact. Just from watching this show and reading Reddit, I’ve come to realize just how many families have shit human beings in them. Equally disappointing is the number of people who seem to be willing to not only overlook but actively make excuses for the shit behaviour. They want the victims just to pretend like it never happened over and over and over again. This human POS forged documents to put his own children secretly into debt. He deserves to live out his elder years alone
Did you call the police and file charges?
Yuck, I'm sorry your dad did that.
I had to pay for my graduate school because my parents paid for undergrad and they couldn’t afford more. I’m doing perfectly fine
100%
You should consider it a gift (not a responsibility) they paid for your undergraduate education.
Not many college students have parents like you.
@@steelcastle5616 yup! A gift never expected it and I paid them back in many ways since then
She's gone from the home but not gone from his mind. Dude, time to grow beyond this. She is a distant past, out of your mind and all thoughts. She does not exist. Move on and deal with everything in you and your childrens life and don't look back. Remember, harping on your past steals your future.
I don't disagree, but in fairness, she is the mother of his children. She'll never be out of their lives completely.
@@JeanValjean875exactly
Yep, living well is the best revenge.
I mean if it was a guy, he would be labelled deadbeat and made to pay child support
Exactly. He needs to forget she exists.
@samuelrosen1593 She can be out of HIS life. That is the one that matters the most to him. The relationship mom has with the kids is between them, he's not involved in that.
Why can't these GRADUATE students pay? Your job is done!
Caller is a manipulator
You picked that up too.
It seems to have escaped so many others.
I paid my way through school. I didn’t get a dime from anyone.
You didn't play at all, God bless you and your family.
I've never counted on my ex for anything related to college for our kiddo. Started saving for it years ago, fully expecting to pay it on my own. If she contributes anything when the time comes, great. If not, it doesn't hurt me or my daughter.
I covered half and chose not to cover any additional. These are adults, not children; it is on the offspring to negotiate with the other parent. You have no responsibility to make up for the other parent's shortcomings.
@@diggernash1very short sighted way of thinking
@@danielmccoll9541 Very. It’s not about “making up for the other parent”. I’m just doing what I feel I should do because I’m capable. And it’s a long-term benefit in that I know I’ll never have to fight with my ex about it, I’ll never have any uncertainty about what’s available and it’ll be healthier for my daughter.
You’re an amazing parent
@@danielmccoll9541 how so? Children are supposed to be raised to leave the home and be independent humans. That is our most important function as parents. If your kid isn't fighting to leave home, you did something wrong.
I'll tell you this with a straight face your son's are far more ahead than most my parent's didn't pay for school and didn't save money for it either they made enough money to keep us fed and a roof over our head let your son's contribute to their education they're coming out of this debt free it won't hurt them to pay for something
Have your son go to her. He should politely tell her he needs her to help.
She will not listen to you but maybe she will listen to her son.
Man let’s move on, just pay for your son’s education. It’s okay, nobody cares about what’s she’s doing. She’s going to let you pay, she doesn’t care.
He should make sure the ex knows the kids know what she’s doing also.
Especially when the irresponsible and lying Ex asks for money in the future.
I think they're being a little harsh on the exe considering they have no idea why she can no longer contribute to the college fund. The fact is that she was able to support her daughter all the way up through to the last semester of grad school. I think that's commendable.
I will focus my attention on the son who still has another two years of bachelors and tell my daughter that she's going to figure it out for that last semester.
Judging from what he says shes also been carrying the finacial load there entire marriage! The ome time she cant commit now shes manipulative...puh lease
Her incentive to pay is to give her kids better lives and to maintain a better relationships them, but she had already decided both of those weren't important enough to her when she stopped holding up her end of the agreement. She has a good job and should be close 50 years old now. If she can't afford to keep up her end of the agreement, then it's unlikely she'll ever have any money, and eventually, she's going to turn to her kids for financial support. That's some sad irony.
Yes. Bet she comes back whining when she's old and lonely and wants to see the grand kids. (and probably wants money too)
@@stephengamber7000 That's up to the kids to decide what relationship they will have with their mother.
It never ceases to stun me to see how easy it is to get an army of random folks to buy the narrative of any "ex-spouse"...male OR female...and jump on the supposed "victimizer" like sharks to blood without ever noticing that they don't know a THING about what's really going on in this family.... What's REALLY sad is that this man may have just successfully 'used" Dave AND all you public commenters, to drive a horrendous and painful wedge between this man's son and and his mother by way of "backing" this man's narrative. This man we know NOTHING about. This woman may have a good reason she can't afford to continue the payments. She has just been convicted...without due process...by the court of CZcams opinion. Shame on you all.
@@curiouscat3384 it may "sound" that way...but notice you've only heard his narrative on the subject. How likely do you think it is that this woman did pay her 1/2 up until recently and then just randomly decided she wasn't going to do it anymore without any reason?
This phone call could also be HIS revenge and a triangulation meant gain to support and bolster an unfair, nefarious narrative against her character.....which could drive a wedge between his son and his son's mother.
The fact is "We don't have enough information".
@BrianW what agreement?
There could be other considerations between them that he is conveniently omitting. But If we are hearing the essential story here, I would bet that she is the reason why they are divorced.
Every women in the comments say "just pay". This guy has not made a lot of money and has made real sacrifices to help his kids out. The ex sticking him with the bill is a raw deal.
Yea it's a raw deal but the advice is about not beating your head against a wall which keeps you in misery. He has to forget about her and move on to the next best solution
By his own admission, the caller said, “I just recently started making some money.” Maybe wife is tired of flipping the bill on Everything!
When did it become a parents responsibility to pay for a kids college education? That is absurd. Who paid for the mother's college education? You guys are really out of line on this one.
I get so angry with this whole notion that parents need to pay for their kids college bills.
"She was trying to force". Well then don't go for her game. He can complain about her 24/7 and nothing will change. Time to come up a with a game plan for the future.
The boy should contact his mother his self. Not you. He needs to say I need money. Dad is not paying.
The son can just take a year off of school, work and save, and then go back. There's no rule that he HAS to finish in a set amount of time. College will always be there, ready to scam more people out of money.
Or do what my niece did, work full time during breaks, including winter, and then use that money towards tuition and expenses.
Me, someone whose parents never had the money to help me or any of their kids with college.. so I just didn’t go, watching this 👁️👄👁️
I know right.... I paid for all of my own education, and it was expensive, but worth it in order to make enough to comfortably live!
@@bettysmith4527 yeha it depends on the degree/career. I went into restaurant management. There’s no reason for me go into student debt when you don’t need a degree to manage restaurants
Take all the energy you are putting in to getting justice and transfer it to finding or making some money. People like the ex aren't with the effort and will rob you of joy in life if you let them, and ask they need for that if for you to keep thinking about them.
That is what your 529 is for.
If they have to take out a student loan, then so be it.
She can but she wont and that's her right like it or not. The son has options, use his own funds, apply for loans,daddy pays...he will be fine.
She can legally do it, but I wouldn’t say it’s anyone’s “right” to go back on their promise.
I wonder if the court will hold her accountable....
It's not an investment unless the kid is majoring in something decent. I hate when people misuse terms and it makes them look stupid to me. A "rising sophomore" is a high school kid between 9th and 10th grade. In college, you are what your completed credits say you are. If this call was between fall and spring semester and the kid had JUST attained credits to be a sophomore when the fall semester ended, then he's a sophomore. Also the caller said the kid had 2 years left so he's a junior? It sounds like it's a kid with a year and a half down, more credits from high school because they do that now and thus he has credits to be a junior. It also doesn't sound like wife never actually agreed to pay half, he just figured that's how it should go down.
The dad is trying to find every way to spur the mom to pay so he doesn’t have to. And I get it, but it’s like Dave is saying you have to pivot now. You know she’s more likely not to come through so have a plan. A certified letter restating the agreement ain’t gonna cut it.
You’re a good man. You need to help your son out. She’s not going to help him. Your son will not forget your help/kind deed. Dave is right in the fact you can’t keep dwelling on the ex - she ain’t doing nothing.
If it’s not in the divorce decree, I’m not doing it. Sounds like she was the breadwinner THEREFORE she contributed to the 529? Stop acting like she did nothing. And parents should never be obligated for graduate school. He’s looking to give his kids a life he simply CANNOT AFFORD.
This is true. I wonder how her side of the story would sound.
@@dwise2165That's true, always three sides to a story. And it sounds like he's still living in the past, thinking he should be making 70 or 80k but the reality is he's not and he has to adjust.
I'm in the same way, I have two adult kids and they both have jobs which is cool, I would like to do more things for them but right now I have to clear 9K of my own credit card debt before I can do anything else.
Sounds par for the course for the broke and irresponsible.
If there’s no legal obligation for her to pay, then she’s not responsible for paying. He’s also not responsible for paying for another adult, but he wants his kids to be debt free. I want $10 million, but guess what, we don’t always get the things we want. Life isn’t fair. Either make more money to fund your wants or have the adult children make their own money and fund their own education.
Or they can learn a trade and not need any money 😂
@@HOLDXSTEELor not. A trade is great for some people but not all
@@kbanghart it’s good for me and most people I know. We all make 120k or more . You’re dumb if you give a college money unless you’re in a STEM field
@@HOLDXSTEEL well, if you're in the trades, then naturally people you hang out with would be in the trades as well. Doesn't mean most of the working population are in the trades. Or are they? Because I keep seeing posts about how we need more people in the trades.
That's great about your income. Me and my wife combined make a decent income as well, plus we adopted two kids so that adds a lot. Sadly, I've seen lots of guys in the trades spend their money on big trucks with big bank loans lol.
@@HOLDXSTEEL and people can get a college education in anything they like.
I paid 100% of my son's tuition (after scholarships). It helped that I also work for a university so they paid half as well. I also had a college fund. I never asked his father for any help. He rarely paid child support so I knew what I was dealing with. Good news for this caller is that once college is over you will have no reason to be in contact with the mother. You are almost done! WOOT!
The last thing I have to deal with involving my ex would be some future wedding. I think I'll need Valium to get through that.......
And grand babies. You will never be completely rid of her.
"That's painful, but that is helpful." What a mature response. I can see why he and his ex weren't a good fit, lol.
Mom makes over 100k and he “just started making a little money” at 70k
She likely paid a lot more than her fair share and she’s sick of it. I’d like to hear the other side of this story!
Paying 5.5k every 3 months cash definitely made me graduate EARLY. Summer classes and all, I was in and out. Like a fart in the wind
Why should they do that? Daddy’s paying so HEY let’s do graduate school.
@@cyoohoos that’s the problem with paying for a child’s school.
What about the daughter? She been to school for a long time on somebody else’s dime? 23 and graduate school that’s a lot of schooling that was paid for for her even if she did get grants.
If it’s not legally in the documents, she doesn’t have to pay nor do I necessarily think you or she should .
Son can work too and help with expenses!
It’s a tough call. I had student loans, and worked for a company with tuition reimbursement. I paid off my loans when I was 40. I am amazed at the number of young adults who have their entire college paid for. This is not normal.
it's cause parents have began to over coddle kids, most of them can't or won't be able to function in the real world!!
@@bettysmith4527 some people cant function in the real world period
Time to move on and your kids need to pay their own way
True.
Its OK, and also probably good for him to pay his own way
The guy has $28k but is close to retirement...should the son not pay when he has a lifetime of earning ahead of him?
I think he should pay the son’s tuition and use the money earmarked for his sister in grad school. That way it’s equal, they both got their bachelor degrees. Graduate school is frosting roses on top of frosting. She can take a loan for grad school since she already got a loan-free undergraduate degree.
Now we know why she’s the ex 😂
I’m thinking we know why HE’s the ex.
He admitted to lying and manipulating, and was more interested in bad-mouthing his kid’s mother than in hearing the solution offered.
Sounds like he is white-knighting himself. I’d be curious as to why she supposedly isn’t paying. Kid could be partying, or could have told his mother to screw-off, or she agreed to help pay for an engineering degree, but not a theatre degree... who knows. But there is way more here, and this guy called to tell Dave he’s better than his ex.
@@katiejon17 That is your takeaway? You have issues.
@@chartuck ...or I just understand that callers who go on and on, griping about someone when the hosts have already addressed the topic for the call... are likely leaving info out. When you hear rumors do you automatically believe them? Whoever gets to you and tells you a story first is the one you’ll believe?
@@katiejon17 You're drunk.
Some people just struggle with the concept of "ex wife"!
Who cares what she's doing! Just do for your child! 🤦🏽♂️
Agreed.
I bet he couldn't tell his wife what to do when they were married.
Why does he think he can direct her how she should use her money now that she's his "ex-wife"?
I have to admit that I'm always astounded to hear about people paying for their kids college education. Especially considering that only 46% of graduates work in the field of their chosen degrees(research it, it's accurate). The concept of someone else paying for that is so far removed from the reality of my personal upbringing that I can't even relate. I had to pay for my own tuition, every cent, and paid for it by working(essentially full time) while I went to college, to mitigate the debt. Once I finished, I started making decent payments right away to get rid of that debt as soon as possible. Took about 3 years to clear all of it, because I made it a huge priority. How amazing would it have been to have someone else pay for all of that?! Some people have it pretty good. Good for them! 🙌 On a side note(in case you're wondering), I am one of the 54% that did not end up working in the field of my degree.
It's changing. The last 10 years has taught everyone that college is not always necessary or good and tuition has gone up 200% since 2017 so all the people who started 529's for their kids 20 yrs ago are stuck.
@@curiouscat3384you are right. Kids are thinking and so are parents. Trade schools and community colleges are better than ever. Lot of 45-60k jobs out there that only need a 1 year certificate to 2 year degree. No need for that 4 year degree that’s going to sit framed above your desk in your bedroom that you can’t do anything with. I know not all 4 year degrees are worthless but a lot of them are - let’s completely ban the liberal arts and we’ll be good.
It is now impossible to pay for your own tuition, unless you make like 50-75K per year (which, hey, why are you going to college?). Time was you could. College tuition has increased so much in the last 40 years, far outpacing inflation.
What about the option where the son gets a PT job? Perhaps at the College/University itself?
I loved my PT job working for one of the Professors, especially since he was a Professor in my chosen Major.
Why is Dave acting like the ex-wife is a bad person (considering he doesn't know why they divorced)?
This guy isn't due "child support"; he wants his ex to pay more money for something she doesn't lawfully or morally have to pay.
The kids are 19 and 23 (one has $$ to pay for EDUCATION).
How many videos has Dave told parents how stupid it is for them to go into debt (co-signing loans, using retirement savings, etc)for their children's education?
The good news is that once his kids graduate from college he will be free of the yoke of child support. I am in favor of supporting our children, but the current system requires support checks to be given to the ex wife, with no oversight regarding how she spends it. Child support used to stop when the youngest was 18, but now unscrupulous women have lobbied for laws requiring support thru college. Some States have even pushed it up to age 24! In contrast, Foster children (whom the States support) are cut off from help when they reach 18 or grad from high school - whichever ones first. I was a NYC foster child and I was on my own at 16 when I graduated early from high school. However, thru determination and the help of kind hearted people, I graduated from college with a BA, and paid off my debt in 3 years. It's OK for this man's son to pay some of his college.
I thought it was only over the age of 18 if the kid's support stopped previously or was delayed by the father. Basically he has to pay the summer money that the child should have gotten by their child's 18th birthday.
I agree if the boy has 10K he should pay for his own schooling, it will ensure he does well, lol
if your son wants a degree he needs to pay ! stop babying these kids man !
The kid is already helping pay
Your kids are grown man, you are free of your ex. You can’t make her do anything. I realized that about my ex, and he is free to screw up his solo life all on his own. Embrace that! Find a real woman if you want. She will appreciate you for you. Pay for your kids’ school. They will know who cares and is working for them. You don’t have to say anything.
I am surprised they didn’t go more into having the “kids” work to get money for their college. These are grown adults going to college not little kids anymore. If mom or dad can’t afford it than they need to be the ones covering. So yes that savings goes bye bye. Welcome to the real world
I agree, but if mom and dad can both afford it and one chooses not to, that usually becomes an issue
I know a family, who when they moved out of their house, they gave the daughter their house. Well, the daughter got married and they busted her in selling drugs. I seen the daughter the other day and she said she lost the house to her husband. I just wanted to know can that happen. No! I am not selling drugs, out of my father's house. I just could not believe it, when she told me. It was a beautiful house.
If this was an ex husband, Dave would tell the gal that she should take him to court. Always the double standard Dave...ALWAYS!
You can’t sue someone for money when your child is over 18. No legal obligation to pay for them
If it’s NOT in the divorce decree, then he’s wasting money on a lawyer
He later mentions that it wasn't in the divorce decree and was just their agreement that she isn't honoring.
He would not be saying court, because it is not part of the divorce, but he certainly would have called an exhusband a lot worse things than a twerp
He absolutely would have
He’s more interested in bad-mouthing his ex than in hearing the solution. And he admitted to being a liar and manipulator. There are two sides here, and we see this guys motivation for calling. Just saying... I’d be real curious why mom’s not wanting to pay.
Son should have summer job and maybe one part -time before graduating. Dad should be teaching him about the reality of being a working man.
He said his son has had a summer job for the last four summers.
Some of us worked all year long and paid our own way and paid our loans back.@@jaredgates4310
Seems stupid to pay so much for college. Maybe The ex is smart. If he really is going to get a good education from this than he can take out loans.
I don't think the mom is doing anything wrong, he needs to stop trying to control someone he's no longer married to. Sounds like his plan that he wants her to be part of, he doesn't understand the whole divorce part.
they had an agreement, it wasn't one sided
I paid my own way too Dave, BUT back in the day! I lived at home while going to school, tuition was $800/yr at a top school and anyone could earn $4000 in the summer. 1980s. I wasn't that special, just had the marks. I didn't have to "build a hospital in Africa" too to be able to get accepted at it, like today. I was lucky to live close to bus/carpool. Did we have it easier than today? Maybe!
This guy wants to pay for his kids' college, then so they can pay for his retirement, lol.
Your children just may need to borrow a bit of money to complete their education. That's fine. MOVE ON from the EX-wife.
Woulda, Shoulda, Coulda. Take the ex-wife OUT OF THE MIX........... Move on
Talk to a lawyer, if they say, 100% yes chance that she has to contribute, then go for it. If its questionable, then drop it.
There was no agreement in the divorce that said she had to pay. She does not legally owe anything. Therefore, there’s no need to spend money on a lawyer.
@@VioletEvans-yt2fd True.
I’m actually quite surprised by the number of comments from people who seem almost offended that a parent would pay for their kids’ college. While I don’t believe there is any obligation, why wouldn’t a parent want to help their kids pay for school? To the extent you’re able to. . . I’m not going to work 3 jobs or forgo my retirement so my kids can go to school, especially if they end up like me and choosing a degree that isn’t engineering, pre-law, pre-med or nursing, or like my s sister who’s a teacher. 😂. Should I pay for an arts degree? Probably not, but my parents paid for some of my “worthless” degree and I don’t regret going to college . . . As a parent, I do believe I have an obligation to help prepare my kids for adult life, and that includes helping with their education to the extent I’m able. I won’t be signing a parent plus loan or paying out of state tuition or even finding a master’s degrees but if they want to go to school for engineering or nursing or a field that pays well, I’ll get them back for the college tuition when they make the big bucks and I’m living in their in law suite instead of a nursing home! 😂
I am paying off my daughter s, S L. 29.200.00 in 9 months got it down to 21.300.00, NEVER once did daughter and i thought about asking the ex wife to CHIP IN, just pay it dude....
Don't waste time worrying about what others will/won't do for your daughter.
Focus on what you do for her like you are did/doing.
Joe...you're a good human!
She ain’t gonna pay. Stop worrying about her. This has to be done by yourself. You’re better off without her.
This guy is whipped.
He's looking for any reason he can to keep a connection to his ex-wife.
Who in their right mind would think they could tell an "ex" what they should do with their money?
You can only control the controllables my dude
Let the daughter get into 10G of debt. Don’t make your son use his savings for working hard, and actually working through college.
Have the son pay the $10,000 he has saved. That is his contribution to his education. If the ex-wife ever does pony up some money, that can be given to the son to re-establish a savings account.
DAVE RAMSEY SPEAKING FACTS!
Really...Dave is supporting this guy lying and manipulating the ex-wife.
Whatever happened to all of his "be a man" and not lying to others?
And how many times has he told people it's a mistake to go into debt to pay for a son's/daughter's college education?
@@steelcastle5616 huh? Did you even watch the video?
What specifically leads you to the conclusion that I didn't review the video?
@@steelcastle5616 it takes two to make a human. They are responsible for his education. Both parents. BOTH ARE ADULTS. Responsibility is needed.
@@Jose-zg7ft When did parents become responsible for their children's college education (or anything after they're 18-years old) in this country?
Please tell me where that "responsibility" comes from and answer my first question to you.
I'm not sure what question your comment "it takes two to make a human" answers or was directed to.
😂😂😂😂 she's the Ex for a reason 7:35 , not him giving hand gestures of an Ex 😂😂😂.
real talk: this is why I don't deal with "single dads"
You didn't have to lie to her. Yes the ex is a mess but you children come first. Take care of it and nove on.
That Son gonna be mad with her. Smh
In my opinion you should be making the daughter pay for graduate school and pay for the son if he is still in his undergraduate education! Not great when adults don't act like adults.
Turn
My parents told us want a car get a job, you pay insurance your own not on our policy
Want to go to college well you pay !!
Also don’t ask us to
co-sign anything.
529 plan can be rolled into a retirement plan once it is open for 15 years...but that doesn't help him
Just say no. It's not on him.
Dave saying he paid for his college is a joke. How much has the price of college increased since then…
Before you judge, you have to consider what wages, the cost of living, the cost of education, etc...was at the time Dave paid for his own college. Back then, I guarantee you, $35K was like a half-million dollars now. I can't believe people can make $100K now and be broke. But again, the cost of everything has SKYROCKETED from when Dave and I were these kids ages.
Uh oh Dave pulled the boomer, "I paid for all of my college." like it wasnt $100 a semester
Shoot I'm gen-x I paid for the most of my college once it became unaffordable, I drop out Junior year, and went to a 2 year IT technical school, one of the best choices I've ever made in my life, got into the work force right away earning decent good money.
$500 a semester for me and my parents couldn’t afford to help
I’m a millennial that paid majority of mine at roughly $300 per credit hour, nearly the same as it is today. I refuse to be a victim and blame past generations.
"Uh oh Dave pulled the boomer, "I paid for all of my college." like it wasnt $100 a semester" Oh please, barista. Shop blaming others and especially past generations. Keep listening to TikTok and your broke friends and you're going to be in debt, broke and complaining for the rest of your life. The opportunities today are tremendous but your ideology and or politics makes you blind to it.
This should have been formalized in the divorce. Its unfortunate that he didn't insist.
Another case for Dr Phil McGraw
The dad and the kids should learn from this and not ever make any financial arrangements with the mom in the future!
My ex decided to do the same. She told my son shes not willing to help pay for his school anymore so she can travel. Broke his heart. Ill make sure his schooling is paid in full no matter what. He will start his career debt free.
You cant change shitty people - dont even waste a second trying.
Sad. And I bet when she's old she come back whining for money.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with her, wanting to live her own life and wanting to travel absolutely nothing wrong
Well was she the primary custodial parent??
Your son too so yes you pay not rocket science!
@@Jane5720 Thats true, your right. My Ex has a degree and can make a very good salary if she wanted to work more. You can raise your children with value and integrity. Teach them right from wrong. Support them emotionally and financially until they are on their own. OR you can go bar hopping, come home 4;00am, banging a different guy every week and stop helping them at all. Guess it all depends on what type of person you really are. I know who i am. Ive raised my kids the right way and are all successful and on their way. I think you just told me who you are 🤣 👎
@@ykook7000 joint split custody. Yes i have raised my children and always paid more then agreed. My youngest is at the age where its a verbal agreement, not court ordered. But my ex who has a degree and has the capacity to make good money chooses not to help her children at all. Sure its her choice, but it also says alot about her and youre telling me alot about you 👎
Still caught up in his ex-wife
Whoa there....I'm kinda thinkin' it's not fair to take a stance on this guy's ex wife's decision. We don't have all of the facts...and for this guy to come onto this public show seeking sympathy and support is "potentially" worse than what his ex wife "may" (or may not!) be doing. She may actually have a good reason here. No one even asked the question, and this guy could just as easily be the "manipulator". He will, no doubt, play your words back to his son, which will tend to "bolster" this "wicked mom" / "poor dad" narrative...Whoa... whoa...whoa!
It's also true that neither of them have a responsibility to pay for their son's college. Sure, if they led him to believe they would, it would be a disappointment and potentially a hassle ...but jumping to conclusions about this guy's ex wife and her motivations just based on a story he decided to tell on a national show in which she has no ability to refute???? Just "whoa".
Dave...love ya dearly.... It is NOT her "responsibility" to pay this....and SHE can handle, DIRECTLY with her son, whatever consequences may arise out of having backed out of an agreement. Her reasons are for HER to explain to her son. This ex-husband has NO PLACE whining about this on your show. It looks like classical triangulation to me. PLEASE don't let him use you guys to drive a wedge between the son and his mom....OR to help vilify and lay a guilt trip on his ex-wife without having all of facts.
And NO... manipulation as a countermeasure is a BAD IDEA for all involved....whether she is "guilty as charged" or "unfairly convicted in the court of CZcams opnion without due process"... The fact is, her pulling out does not "force" this man to pay more than he intended....and it is therefore NONE OF HIS BUSINESS....and none of ours.
Dave, you've got great advice on money matters, and often very good advice on relational issues, but you have somehow let this man sneak past your otherwise good judgement and you've overshot and missed the mark on this one.
I'm not a Christian but I feel certain there is something in the bible that backs what I'm telling you here.
You said everything that I was thinking and there absolutely is something in the Bible about this decision to manipulate his ex. It's called thou shalt not lie. It is a holy commandment in the Bible. I'm also unsure why Dave is letting this guy take him for a ride. He's normally pretty good at spotting manipulators. We simply don't have enough information to make any snap judgements on the wife.
@@dahliaherrod4301 Amen! :))
@@dahliaherrod4301 I was thinking something in the Bible about "how and why not to fall into the trap of being used for potentially nefarious ends by others".
@@macoeur1122 There's quite a few in Proverbs. There's a lot of maxims about choosing your friends wisely and being choosy about the type of counsel you get. The main point is to get wisdom and make godly decisions.
He has to forget the Ex- exists. She knows his buttons and pushes them constantly. He should have no contact at all with her. The kids are adults now, and he needs to remove the Ex- from his life.
Dave talking about he paid his own tuition is irrelevant. College cost $1800 a year in 1980. With no money, it'd only leave him $7200 in debt
Exactly! $1800 barely covers books now
@@shanep2760What books were you buying??? I maybe had to spend $200 a semester at most. Most of them you can find online for free now adays. It only sucks when professors run their little scam and write their own book or get paid off by an online service to use them for quizzes/tests.
Tuition is only part of the expense of going to college. At least where I went there were a lot of fees for everything from athletics, fitness center, parking, meal plans, ID. The list goes on and quickly adds up.
Thats a little misleading. $1800 in 1980 is equivalent to about $6800 today. Which is probably a bit more than a community College now. I personally went to a pretty well known public university and tuition and fees there was a little under 10k per year... not that much more than what Dave paid. Plus room and board ofc. But sounds not that far off from current prices unless you go out of state or to a private university and throw away all the state funding you're paying through taxes.
You are not thinking correctly about this. In 1980, student jobs paid about 2.50 an hour. So, you had to work hard to come up with that tuition. It is very relevant to talk about paying your own way through college. When you pay your own way, you take it seriously, you don't party.
Sounds like the college adults are entitled and spoilt. The son doesn’t want to “drain” his savings on his own education. Time for them both to get jobs and pay their own way.
❤Pappa Dave❤❤❤
He's trying to avoid his using his savings. I understand.
Just pay it
She probably lost respect with Cliff since she makes way more money and branched out with a dude that makes more than 6 six figures 💰
I get where he's coming from, but waiting on that woman to do the right thing is never gonna happen. I'd try telling her "look, I'll level with you, I've got 28k for the boy's college fund, I'm happy to spend every last dime of that if you can cover the other 12" then if she won't do that, just say "OK well he has 10, I don't want him dipping under baby step 2, so could you put in 3? Cuz it's either 3000 bucks or we drop this and never talk about it again"
She's probably not going to give anything, but then you've gotta move on, dude.
I don’t have a problem with her deciding not to pay because she helped pay for the daughter’s grade school. If the daughter had paid for it herself then maybe mom would be more willing to pay those two years towards her son. Now as it stands what if son decides to go to grad school too and she is expected to pay out of fairness.
0:26
What exactly is 'a rising sophomore'? 😂
He's not really using the term correctly. It is used when a student is in-between grades, usually during the summer time after completing freshman year. If the son is on a semester-off schedule, the term isn't really used because you are a freshman in mid December and a sophomore early January.
@@GreenBeats11yeah I was wondering what he meant by that. At first I thought he was trying to say that he is an aspiring sophomore, like he did really good in his first year lol
Rising means you have completed a phase but not yet started the next.
I could see using this term if it’s over winter break. I was only a freshman for one semester because I tested out of a bunch of classes which gave me enough hours to be classified as a sophomore my second semester. However we are deep into January now so I also suspect he is misusing the term. I must say I have cousins went to a private college that operates on trimesters. I don’t know how that schedule runs.
Nothing wrong with young adults using their savings for their education! Don't go into debt but earn and pay as they go. Then use their education to get a great job and keep earning.