Should Women Be PLAYING HARD TO GET... 🤔 Dating Advice For Women
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- čas přidán 12. 07. 2020
- Get "The Man God Has For You" 👉 bit.ly/TheManGodHasForYouYTSp... - Is playing hard to get really a smart thing for women to do? Here are some important dating tips and dating advice for women to set you up for success...
As a certified life coach, dating coach, and relationship expert, I provide dating tips for women to help you know what men want, how to communicate with men, and how to achieve the best version of yourself.
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I hope you enjoyed my dating advice for women video "Playing Hard To Get 🤔 Is It The Right Move? | Dating Advice For Women"
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Sometimes I’m not playing hard to get. Sometimes I really don’t want to be bothered 😕
Exactly
Then it’s only right and fair that you let them know that you’re not interested.
It doesn’t apply to you then, he’s talking about women who do it but like the man
a grown man knows that. but if thats your default mode we all must be careful what we wish for
Hasade O that’s my default mode. It’s exhausting talking to men so I just don’t even reply their messages at all. 😂 I already know it’ll be bullshit at the end so it’s better to spend my time even watching Netflix haha, the men often complain I’m guarded and I don’t even reply to that either lol
Being open and honest from the beginning of the relationship is best.
I’m finally experiencing what that looks like - it feels so....healthy.
@@Kay.Marie.Wellness That's wonderful! Wishing you the best.
Amen 🙏
He says, not interested in a relationship
Yet..he communicates every few weeks.. what’s up with that?
I do it all the time, but guys... they rarely act like this or they pretend they are and then just ghost you or whatever the game they want to play 😑
I’m so glad to hear this! I’m tired of being told that I need to play games when I just want to be real!
Just be real and genuine
The rigth one will come ❤
Amein
same
Right! Playing games is for kids! We're not in high school anymore and this ain't no video game! Its MY HEART.
They still play games past 50😒
You don't get to say that if you're over 25..your already old
Key words “if a serious man is pursuing you” and “playing hard to get.” Yes “playing” any game is a horrible idea but there’s a difference between that and being intelligent about not getting emotionally or physically involved prematurely. Subtly but genuinely Reciprocate his investments and don’t try to force a relationship. Let it happen and don’t over focus on him, continue to live your life in the meantime. Learn how to read him and really get to know him, and if things are going well, go deeper gradually at whatever pace he sets if you’re ready if not pump the brakes and tell him you want to slow things down. It’s not about being hard to get or easy necessarily. It’s about being in the moment and not coming off as too needy or too guarded. Not every man that pursues you wants a relationship so you do have to hold out until you understand his motives for dating you in the first place.
I drop all my deeds to be with him and know him better. so your comment is unpleasant. why did you wrote this? we already listen Stephan. You are not that expert
All these descriptions of how to act how to behave from YOU are stupid and stressful . WHy should I follow his rules and pace? I set the pace. What a stupid phrase you wrote
Omg girls be yourself. She wrote a trash!" not coming off as too needy or too guarded" OH MY GOODD. i just see how weak you are in real
Thank you for this.
Nice Being 😂
I never play hard to get, or play games, however I don't do the easy pleasey woman without priorities either
You go girl😭😭
I'm so glad to see this oo😫
I listened to your book The Man God Has For You while cutting my grass the other day and now I can’t get enough. Such amazing advice and I feel like he’s talking to me personally. HE is awesome. SO GRATEFUL I discovered him on u-tube.
women, stop "playing" hard to get. BE hard to get not because you're playing but because you're worth it.
How do I be hard to get?
@@melaniebrown1443 have your own life, have standards that you stick by, stop searching for validation
Ugh I hope I don’t scare off my husband 😔
I’m shy and it might come off as playing hard to get but I’m really not playing. It’s a bad habit lol
God forbid he’s shy too Lawd help!
I can relate Ashley. I am an introvert and I like solitude. I hope my husband is NOT needy!
me too I’ve been told I’m snobbish or I think I’m all that because I’m quiet meanwhile I’m the nicest person in The world Jesus fix it lol
@@MsJenny_A Same. I have heard that I am anti-social...blah, blah, blah, yada, yada, yada. No, I am not anti-social, I am just not interested in talking to you. As human beings, we have the right to determine who and what we give our energy to... it's called investing. And, I am very WISE when it comes to my investments. 😉
Tara Abrams That’s proper, for as longs as you communicate clearly to the other party through those investments, so that they will know if they are the right stock you would like to invest in.
@@khutsofenyane9197 Great insight. However, please note that a WISE one can determine, at hand, if investing is needed. Specifically speaking, one does not have to communicate if they are uninterested.
Man I was just speaking on this today...it should be a natural receptivity. If you are interested ladies and he does show genuine interest , he is respectful then show him that he isn't putting in effort for nothing. many Blessings 🌿
L Money facts
Soooooo the bottom line is
Ain't nobody got time for that...🙌🏾💯🤣
Playing games may lead to more heartbreak 💔💔
thats a myth, you can pay hard to get, and watch he go after and end up with the girl that was easier. men like women who make it easy for them not hard
What if the guy considers the girl too easy and is turned off & doesn't take her serious...then attempts to take advantage of her bc of his thoughts & feelings?
Snoodle Case by case basis and try not to let you past and your aunts and cousins and girlfriends bad experiences dictate the situation.
Lol just now learning this lesson. My mother taught me not to be so easy. But you gotta be open and receptive. If it look like it’s going to big deal in talking to you, they going the other way lol
Favorite relationship coach! Great advice Stephan. I agree, there has to be a healthy balance in pursuing a relationship because If you know you like him and vice versa, give it a chance and see where it go. It may be blessing. 🙌🏽
Thankyou! I was transparent about my feelings to someone, then I started to doubt myself! But no I’m not for any games! This is who I am, this is how I feel ,We weren’t on the same page , so I moved on! Disappointed but relieved at the same time.
So you mentioned that now, it’s easier for men to move on and try to get someone else.....so is it even really worth trying to find a long term relationship since instant gratification is so prevalent these days?
Yes!! It’s worth it.
Nope
It’s not in this cultural dating climate especially online dating because most men are on those apps for quantity
I think we should not be reluctant to be in a relationship. But men today definitely talk to lots of women, i went to a date last week with a dude, he was showing me a video when a message from the other girl popped up. She was calling him « baby ». I asked him what was that, he told me that since i don’t want to be romantic with him he needed someone else. He doesn’t know im still judging him. Later on that day he also said a very insulting thing to me... he keeps apologizing but I’m done. These men have multiple women they talking to, this why they don’t care when one of them reject them.
Ngombella S I’ve had a similar experience where a guy was showing me something on his phone and a message from another girl popped up, lol and it wasn’t a friendly message either. I know the game by now though.
I have dated guys who probably wouldn’t have a bunch of other women if I would have agreed to be exclusive with them but they were too emotionally needy and suffocating. It’s like two extremes, two different kinds of men on opposite ends of the spectrum and neither would be a healthy relationship.
A part of me is still hopeful but the other part is very skeptical.
Mouth 👄 Full..... It’s not playing hard to get its OBSERVATION!! I want to see if you are willing to take a moment out of your day to communicate. As women we always make time for something we want and that’s making for sure he is good and ok. Reciprocity is all I want. I can’t keep giving from an EMPTY VESSEL. 🤷🏽♀️🥰
Observation! so what if a man wanted to do the whole observation game or thing on you?
mark26mw He can and it would be welcomed. I’m true to myself and I don’t put a show to give a fake representative. If you see my flaws and who I am genuinely from the beginning. You have a true OBSERVATION of making your choice to stay or go.
@@mark26mw The second she wants him and he doesn’t make a live on her now he’s soft. Weak. Non assertive. It’s all BS. They’re looking for attention.
Not to deflect your point of view, i think it would be dope to have a panel of sound single men discussing different topics.
Good idea 👍💯
I agree. This makes sense...
Women who play hard to get often lose out on good men...
i’m so glad to come across this video from a man’s perspective. i don’t open up too easily to guys, but when i see someone as a potential future partner, i’m raw and real. i’m a single mom, nurse by profession AND i’m in school. i have no time for the bullshit. it’s discouraging when friends tell me i need to “get into his pockets” and leave the feelings out because that’s how you get broke busted and disgusted. why do all that? we grown. at the end of the day i know what i have to offer, but best believe i have limits and boundaries. and if whomever i’m dealing with wants to take me for granted thinking i’ll always be there reguardless, they’ve made a sad mistake..
Thank you. I learned something new. My culture tells us that we have to be true to ourselves and not easy to get. I didn't understand how frustrating it must be if the person really loves me. I've always got the player because this maybe exactly why. It's a game to them.
Hi, judging from some of the comments, clarification of "Playing hard to get" may be needed. It seems to imply if a woman abstains from sex, she's playing hard to get. That may be true in some instances. However, there are women who choose to abstain from sex until marriage or wait to have sex in the relationship.
Communication and honesty are key. It's important to spend time early on talking & LISTENING to determine if you're both on the same page regarding wants and expectations in the relationship.
You're right this expression needs more explanation but i don't think he's talking about the abstinent women.
Because he's abstinent too and he's looking for his future wife.
Thank you Stephan, much love. Your advices are so mature.
Playing hard to get in my opinion usually signals a woman who's not gonna be so easy like the common woman or that it would take forever before she gives in if she does(which i hope not) but at the same time it's confusing and most guys would look at it as no interest or she's bitter or hurt at men
a grown man can tell the difference unless she does not communicate at all
@@coachhbosoccer how? im 23 share your wisdom
@@coachhbosoccer unless that man is a psychic
Thank you Stephan, for your wise advice.
Thank you! It was helpful.
Lmbo he said we got it TWISTED sis!!! Makes sense Stephan. I get it...❤️
Clicked so fast! I know you are about to drop gems ✨
@@MeetStephanSpeaks 😊
Love your videos. Seems like your the only mature relationship coach who knows what he’s talking about.
Thank you for this! I learned this lesson the hard way unfortunately
Play hard to get = Get blocked
Right
STOP STALKING ME STEPHAN!!
I literally just had a "were do we stand" talk with my boy last night. I had stopped talking to him for over a week.
There are things that are standing in our way. I don't think I could work for the company that I've dreamed of for a decade if we were together. So we are taking time to make a list of what we really want out of life.
I agree, as you said if one plays hard to get almost always are mind games headed for disaster, see when you really like or love something the less thing youwant is to loss it
Thanks alot Stephan. Some of us needed to hear this★
Good word!
You are the TRUTH brother! You truly speak wisdom! Thank you 🙏🏽
Hmm well. I wouldn’t say play hard to get but u should let him get u easy. U should make him work to get u step by step and if he Rlly likes u he will. But would i say sit back and let him do ALL the work? No! Mirror his actions.
Makes so much sense 🤔 thanks so much Stephan
It is very help because I usely do it. Thank you sir
This makes a lot of sense and literally has changed the ‘game’ for me. From what I have learnt about men and having nurtured a male child, I understand more about men - in my opinion- often men are really sensitive souls and with respect, sometimes a little emotionally less developed- possibly more invested in the outwardly signs of success sometimes at the detriment of inner development. But guess what? For some women, brought up with these such fathers or abandoned by these such fathers we too have our emotional sensibilities and need to heal as well. So what I am saying is - yes thank you for this invaluable information but please understand that some women aren’t ‘playing’ at all. Some women are just hard to get - not that we think ourselves some great prize or that we want to be hard to get - we want to be loved. We just want / need the nice men to not give up on us so easily.....we don’t mean to hurt you...I don’t want to feel like I have to keep proping up male insecurity to let him know I actually might like him- when I am grappling with my own insecurities at the same time...women can’t fix everything. Look, I’m no expert... but it can be a mind field negotiating humanness!, particularly between the sexes. It does seem to get easier though, the more you grow and individually heal and yes learn how to love and value yourself... but great video gave me a lot of insight. Men shouldn’t chase - and neither should women - there needs to be mutuality and emotional maturity and that can be tricky, a little more kindness and active healing helps too. 💖
Thank you Stephan for this powerful message much needed to hear this😊
Bonjour Stéphan ! Thanks you for the insight ! I really need to hear that. God Bless you. Xoxo from Paris 🙏🏽😊🌹
Thanks Stephan
If both parties are honest from the beginning, time won't be wasted. Good advice!
Transparency is key!
Yes, YES!!! Tell the truth, Stephan! The 🔑 to a healthy, successful relationship is NOT being fixated on games and chasing...🎶 🎤 is you is or is you ain't my baby?🎼
Thank you for this.....so profound...who has time for games...I know I don't
Need to the hear these things
Oh my god. You’re right. Hundred percent. Love your videos. I really do learn a lot from you. 🤗
Agree I experience that myself they didnt value you from the start. They just wanted to feel that they could get you and once they got you. They dont want anything else from you.
Thank you, now I know why I am still single! This makes sense.
Yep... Totally agree..
Preach it, bro!
Thanks for this advice
Excellent advice ❤️
Wow..very interesting🤔. Thank you. I'm learning by listening to your video. Keep up the great work👏🏾👑📖🙏🏾
Thank you, I will
This is such EXCELLENT & true advice! I once had a man pursue me relentlessly when most guys would give up because I actually am hard to get. Well this guy really did pursue me like a video game 🎮 I was pursued, chased, and conquered... CONQUERED! Not a good feeling to have. It was my fault for letting my greed for gifts & money cause me to play into that game. I thank God for His forgiveness of my contributions to the matter. I knew this wasn’t my husband all along.. just a man with an infatuation for me and even bigger ego! Don’t make the same mistake I made ladies. Wait for that one God has for you where they’ll be NO games!
Lol
You are so wise
I get accused of this all the time. I simply just have boundaries and have a busy life. I don’t have time for the attention some men require. I am opposite a lot of women when it comes to wanting constant attention.
That’s really understandable, people need space and is what most will appreciate. The other party should understand if communicated. I guess it’s all about effective communication which will eliminate a lot of assumptions.
AGREED 💯
You're right 💯❤️.
I feel ya brother.
Can you please give some examples of playing hard to get. Thank you so much for your help.
Ok Stephan you convince me to buy your book. I like your words of wisdom. I need personal advice from you please. How??
FACTS!💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯
EXCELLENT ADVICE. Listen up, Ladies!! Great insights on how men think about this topic. Thank you, Stephan! Real Men who are secure with who they are would NOT be attracted to women who play hard to get. Only Grown Boys would enjoy playing this game.
I take this as making sure your not too available for men. If I like someone I’m ok with spending time. Not saying I cancel plans if say a guy asks etc. I have kids half the time and work full time. I get one day a week with no kids so if I’m dating someone and looking for a relationship then yes I set that day for us to do something. I don’t introduce my kids never have to a man since divorced. That limits availability on my end
How does this work if you have chosen to be celibate until marriage. I get hit with this line all the time " I'm not going to marry someone and I don't know if the sex is good!" And I just keep it moving! Men would say that I was playing hard to get! Right, due to the fact that I have kids. But I have changed me! I want more! I need a kingdom relationship. Someone whom I can be me with, praise God with, pray with. I'm sick of this fake mess. I am tired of wasting time, putting in time and it gets no where. This is why I choose to be kingdom focused. God is going to have to knock me down in order to see mines.(My husdand) Because I choose to stay focused. And don't get it twisted I get lonely, but I would rather sit and wait for the right one then to keep ending up with garbage bag men! I just don't have it in me anymore to rescue men! So if it's me being hard to get then I know I'm worth the race because I am not what I bring to the table "I AM THE TABLE!".
This. Thank you! I was just wondering why a lot of women were against not playing chase games, but now I know. They are interpreting it as when to give in to sex and not seem easy. That's the problem right there. Sex shouldn't be on the agenda at all until after marriage. Then there is no insecurity or anxiety sbout that situation.
@@yanacshell I have to agree! Sex should not be on the agenda until after marriage. But we grow up thinking the wrong things about sex! So it becomes a huge factor in a lot of people's relationships. God made sex so we know it's good but, the way it is being used is bad. Its gets in the way, can cloud judgement, have you making decisions off the sex. But if you wait until you know a person, you find out what YOU need to know about that person and actually have committed to not shopping around different aisles in the grocery store. Then it should go down and the connection should be immaculate because you know the person, YOU KNOW WHAT YOU NEED from that person to be a better person and that is marriage. I'm not talking paper marriage, Soul marriage!
@@kortiniamartin9682 Exactly. God made that a pleasurable experience but it's supposed to be in the context of marriage. If not, there are unnecessary consequences. There is an interesting TED talk by a lady explaining the chemical changes in the body after sex. Women usually get attached, men get more distant or stay close UNDER CERTAIN CONDITIONS. But God is the One who created men and women the way we are. So if we follow what HE tells us, we protect ourselves. He has created us in these ways so that there are natural consequences when we don't.
Probably a sign this showed up on my feed
You need to open up and be vulnerable with him instead of playing cat and mouse games
Sometimes we not playing
Loved it
As women, we are taught to be coy and play hard to get.....of course some take this to the Nth degree...but many of us were warned by our mothers and grandmothers, not to be "easy". I'm all for reciprocating interest in a man if I see there is potential for a relationship to evolve. However, if I'm not interested in the man who chooses to pursue me, he could interpret my lack of reciprocation as playing hard to get. Your thought? 🤔🤷🏽
As a guy I don't pick up signals really good...i get mixed signals when a woman is playing hard to get. For example I liked this woman I saw everyday and I sat back a couple of days to observe how she carries herself and interacts with others before ai approached. I talked to her briefly and short..i made it clear by my actions i was interested because I asked her for her number and she gave it to me. The hard part was getting her to cooperate like she would do a lot of testing on dates and being kind of mean but at the same time she was sharing personal things with me and then would catch herself being vulnerable I guess...and after a minute i got confused and took it as no interest. She's a good woman but I'll just focus back on my work and wait till she opens up because I would like to stop playing these games and be vulnerable. I would consider marrying her too actually
My advice to you is just totally move on, and get with a woman that’s not going to be putting on a façade!
Try talking to her. Call out her behavior and let her know how that makes you feel. Unfortunately, she may not realize her behaviour. Let her know what you want. Then give her a chance. If she works on it. Then great. If not then make your decision. It should be worth a little extra effort if you've considered marrying her.
It makes a lot of sense. I hate games and I've never played hard to get. I rarely get interested in a guy, so when I do, I don't think playing hard to get is the wisest thing to do. Unfortunately, I can't say things worked out for me that way either.
He speaking Facts
💯no body has time for the games for real for real
Key word: Healthy. People chase toxic and low and behold... what do they get? Toxic.
Hmmm, you make some valid points brother Stephan. I believe that women and men should move cautiously but steadily as they navigate in their "love connections" with the opposite sex. As we all know, the Bible states to be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication...Real talk, when a man sees what he wants in a potential wife, he will go into hunt and pursue mode, that's just a fact. And yes, a smart woman should and will hold back just a little of her heart. Now, don't get it twisted, she's not playing hard to get, she is genuinely interested. However, she should take her time, that does not mean take "forever and a day" ladies...For that matter, both parties should take one day at a time. With prayer, you will both definitely know if this person is the answer to your long awaited prayers.
How can I say this 🤔 You can’t be low hanging fruit and you can’t be unattainable. If he feels like he won’t win, I don’t believe they are going to try. Act like you like him, but not desperate. Just be receptive
Reasons why I Subscribed...preaching brother.❤
Great topic
How do you know if a guy is really being serious? I usually don’t play hard to get, however how can I know if a guy is really serious about me?
Well in the beginning you can tell by him wanting to get to know you through conversations and taking you out on dates, his consistency in communicating and spending time with you.
mark26mw Thanks for the advice!!
Interesting 🤔😏
I wouldnt say im playing hard to get. I just been hurt by men so many times and i dont have the energy anymore. Yeah i probably missed out on my husband because of this. But I gotta protect my heart!🤷🏾♀️
So have some of the men you may encounter. Keep that in mind and bury the stereotypes that are so prevalent in the black community.
I think that both men and women should just be themselves. If you like someone and expect to get to know them, you have to give them some of your time, and that works both ways.
Just went through this for an entire week: mixed signals, hot and cold, flirting with dudes in front of me to make me jealous, not responding for days at a time…I just said screw this and walked away. She’s been texting me nonstop now that I’m ignoring her but too bad man I’m over it. Just a cautionary tale for you chicks that are crushing on a dude…these dumb tricks only work on fboys, a dude looking for something real is just gonna move on and stop talking to you. This video is 100% right.
As a man, I learn so much about myself from this G
My question is: WHY do men say they don't wanna rush into a relationship but then they wanna rush into having sex and don't see a problem wit that? Sex is the highest spiritual connection and if you ain't ready for Me emotionally you damn sho ain't finna fuck wit Me spiritually.
I just don't have time to play games. There are some men who plays hard to get. I am not chasing no man. I don't want a man to chase me. All that chasing is to stressful. I agree with Stephan.👏🏿💯🙌🏿
Well what about when a man is playing hard to get or acting like he is not interested?
He’s not interested
Wow. You’re spot on.
My boyfriend told me in his past relationship, his ex-girlfriend played hard to get so much so much so that he became deeply hurt, resentful and vengeful. He even thanked me for not doing that to him.
He also told me about a friend of his whose girlfriend kept up the chase for a long time. This guy likes the chase though and after he got this girl, he moves on to the next conquest, one after another. This year, he’s targeting a cute colleague.
I met a girl again who plays hard to get so somehow i ended up here, there are some players who say be persistent and don't give up easily. However, it feels so off to me. I also, had an ex who played hard to get and most of the time it was so lonely that i thought of ways to hurt her, but before that i had this mindset that if i stay consistent, she will drop these games. However, in her mind it was "he is sticking with me, which means hard to get works".
Eventually, i became numb and went cold on her, which then led to a complaint from her saying i changed and that she doesnt think i like her anymore. I simply said let's break up and deleted her number.
I've met this cute girl recently at my workplace, but i am getting the same vibes. I guess I will just keep my distance.
Oh I get it now
@Cary Sontag I'm 14
Great
Back in high school or even at past jobs I use to work at, Everytime I'm interested in a girl most of them play hard to get by flirting and play touching with other men infront of me; everytime they find out I like them. Which leaves me uninterested. I want something serious and this is all they do :l
I enjoyed your video. You have VALID points. But I would like to say being hard to get DOESN'T mean being an ice queen or impossible to get. Being hard to get is to not being EASY to get. Meaning being there EVERYTIME he wants you too. Like last minute dates, accepting bad behavior & ALWAYS being the initiator, etc. Of course YOU have to reciprocate HIS behavior.Too many people have altered the TRUE meaning of hard to get!! And of course if you have been passed around like a party platter....YOU ARE NOT HARD TO GET.....BEING HARD TO GET IS BEING VERY SELECTIVE OF WHO YOU ARE WITH....
Not necessary.
Just have standards / boundaries & make them clear from day 1
💯
I feel like this topic is a little vague...what exactly does “playing hard to get” refer to? I think he needs to properly differentiate having standards and playing hard to get....
@Monique .. When I think of playing hard to get.. it's someone who's interested in the other party but constantly looking for the other party to show their interest first (i.e. always waiting for the other party to call, text, set a date, etc).. On the flip side, a woman with standards will reciprocate the man's efforts, while maintaining her virtue.. A man that's worthy of a virtuous woman will recognize the difference.
Interesting
❤️ 🙂 Thank you for watching!